now, here's your worst employee of the week. good night. >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! thank you so much for tuning in! thank you, everybody! my guest tonight minnesota state representative ilhan omar is here, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) it's going to be a fun conversation. she has an amazing personal story and doing big things in minnesota. first, after a week-long tirade on twitter, president trump last night finally decided to speak with words to an actual human being about the rumors of russian collusion. well, i mean, i say human being,

but it was actually conservative pastor and jeff sessions troll cousin pat roberson. >> in connection to his e-mails, president trump said vladimir putin wanted hillary clinton and not him to win the 2016 election frvetle hillary had won, our military would be decimated, our energy would be much more expensive. that's what putin doesn't like about me. >> trevor: here we go again -- hillary is behind everything that's going wrong. trump is like it mr. the hodor -- hillary! hillary! hillary! hillary! ( laughter ) ( applause ) so let's just get this straight, the new conspiracy theory is that putin actually wanted hillary to win, and that's why he colluded with donald trump, jr.? ( laughter ) you know, like, there is no problem president trump can't

blame on hillary. he will be in bed, like, i can't believe hillary couldn't get it up tonight. ( laughter ) lock-her-up. ( laughter ) so the two men -- and by the way, that picture is so creepy. doesn't it look like trump is talking to himself in a hundred years? look at that. ( laughter ) and you know what? i know i'll sound crazy for saying this, but i think trump should only communicate on twitter because at least his characters are limited. in real life the crazy has no end. >> the president said he asked putin about russian hacking to influence the 2016 election. "i said, did you do it?" and he said, no, i did not. i then asked him a second time in a totally different way. he said, absolutely not." >> trevor: well, i'm sold. ( laughter ) for the record, vladimir putin wasn't just a mas master k.g.b.

agent and master spy, trump knew he could break putin by simply asking him the same question twice? that was his plan? ( applause ) the same question twice -- but in a totally different way. ( laughter ) trump was, like, did ya do it? no, i did not. okay, that works for me. but did you? ( laughter ) ( applause ) still no. now, as we speak, president trump is in france celebrating bastille day with french president emmanuel macron who declared war on trump by making him go to a museum with him, and president trump retaliated by hitting on the french first lady in full view of everyone. >> something happened with president trump's comments he made now posted on the facebook page i'm told of

president macron. let's listen. ( audience reacts ) > >> trevor: donald j. trump does not give a (bleep) in. front of his own wife, he's, like, damn girl! you want some of this baguette? ( laughter ) i spent the entire afternoon trying to figure out how in that moment macron didn't punch trump right there. but, then, no no, i realized something, whenever trump is overseas, the one advantage he has is that people aren't hearing him in his native tongue. think about it, everything he says has to be interpreted by a translator, so maybe today when trump said, you're in great shape, the translator said, he says you look well. right? ( laughter ) that could happen. whereas if i were the

translator, i would be, like, yo, my dude wants to smash ( laughter ) which is way more accurate. ( applause ) you see, translating donald trump is a real challenge, as our very own desi lydic reportsch. >> america, here's trump in english. >> i know words, i have the best words. >> well, sort of. but the rest of the world doesn't hear trump. ( speaking foreign language ) the rest of the world hears -- the translators. we assembled five translators from all over the world to hear their experiences when it comes to translating trump. of all the people you've had to translate, where does president trump fall? >> he's probably the worst i've ever translated. >> trump is incoherent. >> and he changes his mind in the middle of a sentence.

>> sometimes his message is not quite grammatical and seems a little bit uneducated. >> i would say it's not particularly difficult to translate trump. >> get the (bleep) out of here. get this guy out of here. russian cramer aside, how does one translate trump with all these obstacles. >> sometimes i lie. >> you lie? >> i have to. >> no, no, you can't do that because, see, rewe are counting on you to translate president trump accurately to the rest of the world. >> okay. i am accurate 97% of the time. >> 97% you translate trump correctly. >> yeah. >> but the 3%. >> 3% you have to fake it to make sense, otherwise you're going to look like an idiot yourself. >> it makes us sound stupid. >> bing, bing, bong, bong, bing, bing. >> how would you translate that? >> bing, bing, bong, bong.

>> interesting. okay, maybe that was a softball, how about this memorable quote? >> total and complete shutdown of muslims entering the united states until our country's representatives can figure out what the hell is going on. >> there's no give leapt to "what the hell is going on" in arabic. >> that's unfortunate because that would be a widely-used turn of phrase. that's one of the main issues, trump's special vocabulary doesn't always exist in other language. >> you can do anything, grab 'em by the pussy. >> how would you translate grab 'em by the pussy? >> i would say -- ( speaking in foreign language ) -- meaning women would do anything. >> that would mean like women do anything, treat them like a queen, as opposed to grab 'em bay the pussy.

>> doesn't translate in the same way. >> is there a japanese wait for pussy? >> no. >> how about this. >> yes. >> how about this? >> tacos. >> i'm getting a real tense sens of a language barrier here. is there a jab knees word for this? >> roast beef? >> kind of. beef curtains. >> beef curtains. >> try that. >> we will build the wall, and mexico is going to pay for the wall. wall (speaking in foreign language) >> no, there is warmness in your eyes, you are smiling, that's not the way he said it. you have to do it like he does it or people at home are going to think he's joking. >> people have a sensitivity, so you don't want to offend them more than he already has, you know. >> no, you've got to give them the trump. who's going to pay for the wall?

>> no hex co. >> but trump believes that mexico is going to pay for the wall, so if you're going to translate him, you have to believe it, too. who's going to pay for the wall? >> nobody's going to pay for that wall in mexico. >> no, no... what is wrong with these translators? no one is capturing the true trump. it's not just his words. there is something more. >> the poor guy, you've got to see this guy, oh, i don't know what i said, i don't remember! oh, maybe that's what i said! >> yeah, that's pretty accurate. i think you got the gist of that. >> i am trump for the moment while i am interpreting his words. >> this beautiful mime was write, that's what these translators were missing, they needed to embody trump, tone, marionisms, sexism, the whole package. down with the dumb face. grab 'em by the pussy! sad, sad -- after a grueling 7

minutes of training, these translators were ready (speaking in foreign language) shrug, mui bien! oh, my god, that's good. thank you, thank you. >> trevor: thank you, desi. we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ what's better than an iced or frozen coffee on a hot summer day? nothing. dunkin's got all your favorite flavors this summer. keep cool out there, kids. america runs on dunkin'. keep cool out there, kids. you know 7up goes great with punch, but try mixing it with fresh cut fruit in sangria. or... use it to make a white wine spritzer,

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( ♪ ) ( ♪ ) ( cheers and applause ) welcome back to "the daily show." president trump's plan to repeal obamacare repeatedly stalled but luckily his plan to build the wall is also stalled. ( laughter ) part of the reason might be that his requirements keep on changing. >> the white house now releasing some excerpts of a long session that the president held with reporters, the president saying he wasn't joking about a solar wall. he says, in fact, he's going to seriously look at that. it's a 2,000-mile border. he also wants the wall to be transparent, he says, because drug dealers are throwing bags

of drugs over the wall and if you don't have a transparent wall bags of drugs could hit americans on the head on the other side of the wall, so that's another comment the president made there. ( laughter ) >> trevor: i've never seen someone's soul dying in realtime. you can see that poor reporter. he knows when he goes home his kids are going to be, like, daddy, what do you do at work is this i repeat the words of mo rones, that's what i do. ( laughter ) this is one of the -- strangest things donald trump ever said. that's crazy i'm saying that. this is one of the weirdest concerns he has. really? people will be walking past the wall? he doesn't want stricter gun control or stopping clairng, no, he's focused on the real danger of americans walking past the bored wall and having drugs falling on their heads. ( laughter ) who are you? so now he wants the wall -- which let's remind ourselves, he said he wants it to be so lash

panels. he wants that wall also to be see-through so you can see the drugs coming over the wall and be like, ha! missed me! ( laughter ) are there families in america just taking an afternoon stroll along the border wall in the middle of the desert, drugs flielg overhead? watch out, ho honey, here comes another bag! ( laughter ) but, look, i will say trump is not wrong about one thing, drugs in america are very controversial. we turn to senior narcotics correspondent roy wood, jr., everybody ( cheers and applause ) >> one of the major debates going on now is whether or not to wheelize marijuana. a lot of people are worried about the ramifications. my kids are going to join a gang and listen to radio head (bleep), like that. where yo you can't argue is whee

marijuana is legal business is booming. >> where marijuana is legal in nevada, the state is experiencing a marijuana shortage, has both officials and retailers considering what they consider an emergency. >> it stocked up on product before sales started by the high demand exceeded expectations. >> wait a minute, the demand for weed exceeded your expectations? ( laughter ) this is weed! everyone loves weed! it's the bruno mars of drugs! ( laughter ) how did you not anticipate the demand? it's like if you opened up an orgasm store but only kept three orgasms in stock. you're, like, damn, people really like orgasms, can you believe that? ( laughter ) nevada, you don't need to call a state of emergency because you riewnt of weed. call up any white dude with dreadlocks and he will be over there in 15 minutes, emergency over! ( laughter ) while some people are legalizing

drugs, other politicians are going in the opposite direction. >> senator chuck schumer is trying to stop a new dangerous type of candy from hitting the market. cocoa loco is a snortable powder sold as an energy booster but could be marketed as a drug. >> similar to ecstasy. what kind of product should be on a candy shelf that's similar to ecstasy? >> trevor: that's a good question. you can't be marketing chocolate to kids like it's a drug. >> why is chuck acting like this is new? we have been marketing chocolate like it's a drug for decades. ever seen a cocoa puffs commercial? >> crunchy, chocolaty cocoa puffs in there. >> crunchy! chocolaty! cocoa for cocoa puffs! cocoa for cocoa puffs! >> are you okay in there? >> i am now!

>> hopping and shaking, if that's not junky behavior, i don't know what is. the cocoa puff bird pawned his momma's vcr at one point just to get chocolate cereal. i'm sure of it. i'm not too worried about people snorting chocolate. i'm worried about attorney general jeff sessions. >> the nation's top law enforcement officer want to bring back the anti-drug program known as dare. remember that? in north texas today attorney jeff sessions says the mission of the drug abuse resistance education program is more important than ever. >> (bleep) bring it back dare? are you serious? dare? you guise remember how bad this program was. a cop will come to your school, open up a briefcase of drugs and all the kids will be like, mmm, now i want drugs. ( laughter ) and it's not just me. they did studies that show that if you show kids something and tell them not to do it, that's exactly what they're going to

do! my grandma used to tell me, when you're in the bathtub, baby, don't you touch your little man in the tub! ( laughter ) you know what i have been doing ever since? ( laughter ) >> trevor: you mean touching your little man in the bathtub? >> he's a grown man now, he's a grown man. >> trevor: that's because you have been touching him in the bathtub. >> and the little man is over here. ( laughter ) look, trevor, you know what's really sad about this is dare is the least of our worries. jeff sessions is basically bringing back the whole war on drugs, which is part of the reason america is in the mess we're in today -- mass incarceration, broken families. judging from history, this will probably make things worse is that that's very true, roy. the black community has been ravaged by this and so have poor people. what do you propose we should do? >> i don't know how to stop jeff sessions but what i to know is i'm going to smoke my weed while i've got the time.

( applause ) >> trevor: hey, hey, hey! no, don't applaud this! roy, dude! where did you get all that weed? >> some (bleep) threw it over a wall! ( laughter ) >> trevor: roy wood, jr., everyone. we'll be right back! ( cheers and applaus any day now, mom. [singing] lil' sweet comin' out of deep end...totally dry. take this! mama, give your lungs a breather; those tired lips deserve something sweeter - a diet dr pepper. mmm, sweet. mama likes it sweet! diet dr pepper. [singing] it's the sweet one.

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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is the nation's first somali-american state legislator. please welcome minnesota state representative ilhan omar! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to the show.

>> thank you. but before we get started, i wanted to take a selfie. >> trevor: let's do this. >> everyone wants to make sure i do that. >> trevor: this is the millennial generation. got it. welcome. thank you very much. ( cheers and applause ) your story is one of the most fascinating i have ever come across. you are someone who is all too familiar with being a refugee. you are from somalia. you are also a muslim person. you are also a woman. you are everything that president trump seems to be against, and you are in government. >> yeah. >> trevor: what's the plan? ( cheers and applause ) >> i am america's hope and the president's nightmare. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: the story that shocked me, i guess the stat that did was minnesota has the largest somali community outside

of somalia and, in the race that you ran, i think it was in the primaries, you had to go up against someone who's a 44-year incumbent and somali man, which is very difficult because many in the somali community look at the man as a leader, the woman has her place. this is common in africa. many experienced it. what tool did you use to communicate with people? how did you get people to see you as somebody who could be in a leadership position? >> often oftentimes people would say you should let your brother have it. i would say i think i can do a better job than my brother, maybe you should let me have it. ( applause ) there's a lot of focus when one runs for office on their identity, whether gender identity, whether it is their race or religion. for me, it was really important to have conversations with people so that we can suspend

these particular identities that were unique to me and unique to a lot of other people and focus on the common issues that were pervasive in our area and figure out solutions together so that people can hear what i had to offer and the platform that i had and what i could deliver for them. >> trevor: if you were to have the opportunity to speak to or work with president trump, a, would you, and, b, what would you say or try to do? ( laughter ) >> actually, i invited president trump twice, now, to come and meet my family and my community because he seems to have a lot of opinions about the kind of people that we are. >> trevor: right. >> and we shouldn't judge a book by its cover. we should at least give people the opportunity to get to know them. so my grandfather and father always said that you should invite your enemy to your home

and make them a friend ( applause ) and, so -- so i wanted to give the president an opportunity to make amends with our community and at least come and have our famous somali tea. that's the least he can do. he represents us now as well. >> trevor: there it is. president trump, have some somali tea. thank you for joining us on the show. representative ilhan omar, everybody. we'll be right back. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause )

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ah! [ bell chimes ] allthat was amazing.e sitting. the ceiling is all spider webs. we missed grandpa's 99th birthday. i'm actively trying to stand up right now. and his funeral. oh i have a beard. oh! a chip. (laughter) binge watching isn't always rewarding. but hotels.com is. thanks captain obvious. how long have you been here? unlock instant savings now and earn free nights to use later. hotels.com. >> trevor: that's our show for tonight. here it is... your moment of zen. >> focusing on bilateral talks between president trump and

president emmanuel macron -- i love doing that because everybody else is so much better than me but i feel this tcaptioning sponsored by comedy central >> ladies and gentlemen, the 45th and final president of the united states. (applause) >> mr. president, mr. president. >> okay, okay. >> mr. president. >> okay, earn calm down and don't panic. as you know, only a few hours ago i was in paris with president emmanuel lewis macaroni. and his beautifulfully fit, tight wife. that's the kind of hottie you find in paris, not pittsburgh, let me tell you. but the events of the past few days have forced me to return home to update you on the status of this terrible outbreak. >>ou