[ cheers and applause ] >> how will they ever get along? thanks for watching. i'm jim jefferies. i think we can all do better. good night. [ cheers and applause ] >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show." thank you so much for tuning in. thank you, everybody! i'm trevor noah. our guest tonight, here to talk about the humanitarian response in syria, dr. rola hallam is here, everybody! it's going to be a great conversation. ( cheers and applause ) but first, we begin the show with the boy scouts, the young men who learn about civic

responsibility and tying knots, unlike the girl scouts who drift america with their cookie ponzi scheme. i've seen drug dealers lose conners to them. came out of nowhere, man! freddy got a thin mint, he's dead, man! those cookie bitches are crazy, man! hey, hey! you can't say that! i'm sorry, man! those cookie bitches are mentally unstable, man! ( laughter ) anyway, yesterday at the national jamboree in west virginia, the boy scouts got a speech from america's most powerful adolescent, president trump. and most presidents have used their jamboree to put politics aside and talk to the children about civics and serving the community. but as we keep learning over and over again, donald trump is not most presidents. >> the president talked to thousands of scouts yesterday at

the gathering in west virginia ability success and achieving their dreams. but he also delved into politics. >> our stock market has picked up, since the election, this horrible thing known as obamacare, november 8. do we remember that date? was that a beautiful day? ( cheers and applause ) the polls, that's also fake news. you will be saying merry christmas again. did president obama ever come to a jamboree? ( audience reacts ) >> trevor: sweet jesus! trump sounds less like a president and more like a drunk step-dad. did your real dad ever take you to chuck e. cheese?! huh? huh? let you have a glass of jack, take you fish -- i'm gonna be sick! ( gagging ) ( laughter ) but trump did have an actual message for the boy scouts. needless to say, it was completely inappropriate for the boy scouts.

>> i'll tell you a story that's very interesting for me. when i was young, there was a man named william levitt, and he would build homes and at night he would go to these major sites and scour the sites for nails. and then he was offered a lot of money for his company. and he told his company for a tremendous amount of money, and he went out and bought a big yacht, and he had a very interesting life. i won't go anyfurther than that because you're boy scouts. i won't tell you. ( audience reacts ) should i tell you? should i tell you? ( audience reacts ) ah, you're boy scouts, but you know life. ( laughter ) >> trevor: you're boy scouts -- did this guy just regale 20,000 pre-teen boys with the tale of an old real estate mogul having yacht sex? is that what he did? then end it with, you 12le ylz, you know life, we all smash,

we're all the time. so, okay, i understand. maybe some people were upset that trump was telling these kids about his horny hold friends, but the truth is the scouts were loving it. in fact, the president was killing it so hard, he even did the walk away. >> by the way, you gonna get the votes? >> hope so. >> he better get 'em. he better get 'em. oh, he better. otherwise, i'll say, tom, you're fired! i'll get somebody. ( laughter ) ( applause ) yeah, you see that move? that's a move standup comedians do when they've just told a joke so good they need to give the crowd a break, so they walk away from the mic. >> all the news about your football team ain't been good news. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> guy never had no punkin pie!

kick it! ♪ ♪ you don't understand. ( cheering ) >> trevor: yeah, you see, all trump needed was a deejay. >> he better get 'em. oh, he better. otherwise, i'll say, tom, you're fired! i'll get somebody. ♪ ♪ ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> trevor: oh, that's so unrealistic, black people would never cheer for trump. so -- ( laughter ) oh, let's move on. let's move on. you know, i'm just think to myself, coming back from that boy scouts thing, and the parents will be asking him, so, son, what did you learn this weekend at boy scouts? dad i learned people on boats getting all kinds of wet, kick it! oh, yeah, oh, yeah. ( laughter ) speaking of killing it, the

effort to repeal and replace obamacare appeared to be deader than trump's prospects on tinder. they put their heads together and figured out a way to bring the healthcare bill back to life. >> the vice president casting vote to dancing debate on healthcare debate in the senate. the g.o.p. actually closer to killing obamacare. >> trevor: i don't know who's more original hollywood or senate republicans. so many sequels. healthcare bill one, two, healthcare bill in space, healthcare bill versus predator, the one where the predator lost because of pre-existing conditions. it was ovarian cysts. yeah. oh, you thought predator was man? oh, oh. wake up, people! you've got crists on your wenis. yeah, that's right. the reason ropes had trouble

repealing obamacare is senate couldn't agree on how to replace it. some wouldn't vote for a bill that cut medicaid too much, some wouldn't vote for any bill that left any obamacare in place, some wouldn't vote for it because it was printed in comic sanz, wasn't professional. then mcconnell looked like he was smoking weed -- you can't vote for a bill if you don't vote for a bill. >> it's unclear what the bill will look like and whether the g.o.p. can muster votes to pass it. >> now what. >> that's the question. >> what they voted on is whether to start the debate. >> it was only a vote to begin debate on a healthcare bill and just barely passed. >> sometime tonight or early hours of friday, they will have a final resolution pass or fail. >> trevor: so the new g.o.p. plan is to reinvent the national healthcare system by thursday? i admire they optimism.

we haven't been able to do this in seven years, let's try it in three days. this is technically 20 hours of actual working time. and 20 hours is not a lot of time to build a new healthcare system. i can't even build an ikea bookshelf in 20 hours. i know what you're thinking. it shouldn't take that long to put together an ikea bookshelf but i keep getting distract bid guy in the instruction manual. who is he? what are his hopes and dreams? is he naked? where is his penis? dade they forget to include it or did it just roll under the couch like the pointy things? the point is, 20 hours is not enough to revamp healthcare. if you're really confused by what's happening, you're probably a republican senator who has to vote on third. so let me try and explain what you've done, and everyone else, you pay attention if you want. you see, republicans, you want to repeal and replace

obamacare. now, you could have gone the normal way with the public committee hearings and proposals, both parties could have read and debated, but you skipped that because you knew your ideas would die of exposure. then you tried to write the bill in a 13-dude chamber of secrets. that also failed. so now your genius leader's new plan is to throw the entire national healthcare system on the senate floor, let everyone randomly say what it should be and hope everyone agrees by the end of the week. the one thing we know is mitch mcconnell is determined to pass something. this determined. >> senator john mccain of arizona, a man who was diagnosed with brain cancer just a week ago, comes rushing in on capitol hill to cast his vote. he traveled all the way from arizona so that he could get to this floor and vote yes on moving forward the discussion of whether to repeal and/or

replace obamacare. >> trevor: that's correct mitch mcconnell was so hell-bent on getting this passed, he forced a man just diagnosed with brain cancer to come to washington to vote. mccain was probably, like, what the hell, mitch, don't you know i could be dying? mcdonnell is, like, if we cared about people dying we wouldn't be doing this bill, now shut up and vote. ( applause ) we'll be right back. classic hershey's; plus cookie bits; plus caramel. hershey's cookie layer crunch. a layered twist on a classic.

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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back! welcome back to "the daily show"! as the healthcare effort lurches through the senate, it shows the importance of momentum in politics. and you know who has a lot of momentum now? the democrats. in the past year they've lost the presidency and four special elections, governorship, state countless state seats. that's momentum. at this rate next year san francisco will have elected mayor hannity. ( audience reacts ) but that may all be about to change -- or whatever. >> ten months after democrats lost the presidential election the party is trying regroup and

find a way to beat the grand old party next time around. today, they rolled out a new plan, they hope could be the building block for future success. >> when you lose elections as we did in 2014 and 2016, you don't flinch, you don't blink, you look in the mirror and ask what did we do wrong? >> trevor: ah, everything? ( laughter ) it's, like, i bet schumer asked his mirror, what did we do wrong? and the mirror replied, don't ask me, i voted for trump. i don't know. ( laughter ) , so yeah, yesterday in virginia. the democrats assembled their biggest crowd in years to explain to voters what their party is all about. >> simply put, what do democrats stand for? a better deal for working people -- higher wages, lower costs and the tools for a 21s 21st century economy. ( applause ) >> trevor: the tools for a 21st century economy -- like a

computer, b bitcoin, the hot dog thing, i don'tknow what it is but my grandkids love it. >> this is their slogan, better deal, better skills, better jobs, better wages, which a lot of people say sounds like papa john's better ingredients, better pizza. >> better ingredients, better pizza, papa john's. >> trevor: before you judge them, that's actually pretty smart. that's what you do in politics, take a slowing that you know already works and make it your own. the democrats just stay on that, you know, planned parenthood, think outside the bun. yeah? the e.p.a., melts in your mouth, not your hands. fema, stay thirsty, my friends. it works. no? just me? just me. okay, but the main portion of yesterday's event was for democrats to start winning back the working class, which went as well as you might expect. >> we're here today because the

economy is broken. two giant corporations fell more than 70% of all of the beer in america. >> we are seeing this lack of competition all across our economy, whether it is prescription drugs, whether it is cable bills, whether it is even beer. >> trevor: or even beer? that's a solid strategy for the democrats. we need to connect with the people who don't vote for us! these hill folk like beer, right? yeah! we could hire a banjo player, whoo! what if we drove in in a monster truck? wow! ( laughter ) that's not fair. democrats have been making a real effort to understand the other side. >> last month, i went to a yankees game and sat where i usually do in the right field grandstand. the two people sitting next to me were wearing proud to be deplorable t-shirts. they were teamsters from

yonkers. we talked the whole game. they weren't really sure of donald trump. they didn't know what he stood for -- >> trevor: they weren't really? they bought the shirt, they weren't really sure? ( laughter ) maybe they weren't even trump fans. i bet they saw chuck schumer coming over and thought, oh, great, he's probably going to try to talk to us the whole game. quick, put on these trump shirts! ( laughter ) deplorables! he's like, let me talk to you. damn it! ( laughter ) clearly the democrats have their work cut out for them but you have to give them credit, they believe in sweating the small stuff -- like sweating hard. >> anybody hot yet? >> yeah! >> we could use water. got any water? >> -- rigged against everyone else. >> they both played softball. one was the pitcher, one was the catcher. >> what we want to do is new

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>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a doctor and humanitarian who has been helping deliver medical aid in syria since the start of the civil wax please welcome founder and c.e.o. of cando, dr. rola hallam. ( cheers and applause ) welcome to the show. >> hi, thank you for invite meg.

>> trevor: your story is one that is gripping, painful and hopeful all at the same time. you are a physician based in london. you have been involved in global health care for about 14 years now, and you actually spent part of your childhood growing up in syria. >> yeah. >> trevor: when you look at the civil war that's taking place there now, from a health care point of view, from an aid-giver's point of view, what is the situation? >> yeah. sure. before that, if i may, i think one of the thing that's done the syria crisis such a disfavor is calling it civil war. because actually this isn't half the population killing the other half. what we have is state-sponsored murder and suppression in response to people going out on the street calling for freedom and dignity. so it's actually a war on civilians. >> trevor: right. >> and it's a war on civilian structures and had at its heart the targeting of doctors and aid

workers and health care and you know all about presidents trying to destroy health care, right? it's a big problem. >> trevor: for syrians they wish it would just be in the senate and people arguing about it. >> absolutely. >> trevor: you have a situatiosituation where bashar d has been attacked medical facilities. what have those attacks been about? >> human rights have documented nearly 500 attacks on healthcare facilities since the beginning of the war. some are indiscriminate but some say this is a part of systemic attack on health care and murder and torture of healthcare workers and using it as a weapon of war and decimated our healthcare system which means we have children dying of preventible diseases like pneumonia or treatable diseases, women giving birth without health care in attendance, we don't have the anesthesia we

need to perform surgery. this is a big problem for all of us, not just sir. i can't by that, i mean that the targeting of healthcare work is, like, this is protected by international norms, right? >> uh-huh. >> when we allow that to occur, actually, when it breaks for one, it breaks for all. >> trevor: it ends up being a problem that affects the world when it could have been stopped in one place. >> absolutely. >> trevor: when you returned in 2011, you went back to syria and this is when the crisis was kicking off and you helped -- you know, you turned a house into an aid depot and you were going to help with people donating blood, and you realize that that wasn't enough. why wasn't it enough and what did you then decide to do? >> right. so i think, in every crisis, the first responders are the people who are affected, right. it's the affected community. so my family, like many others, turned their houses into warehouses they could distribute this aid from. as the crisis grew and engulfed

the whole country, it became apparent like these little efforts were no longer sufficient, so we coalesced and started to form new charities and, actually, it's the local humanitarians, the local doctors, nurses and aid workers that do the majority of the aid work in syria. >> trevor: right. >> so a group called local to global said that 75% of the humanitarian work in syria is being done by syrian charities, right? 75%. like people don't know that, right? >> trevor: that's amazing what you wish the outside would help as well. that is an amazing stat when you think about it. >> it's amazing but what you think is more amazing but in a bad way is we get less than 1% of the humanitarian aid budget. right? yeah. i know. look at your face. >> trevor: wow. >> i know. >> trevor: you would think for a crisis that affects the world, more would be done, more people would be getting involved. you're working to help now. you've started working to rebuild some of the hospitals that have been destroyed.

i remember reading and seeing one of the stories was a children's hospital that was attacked. you were involved in rebuilding that. how did you go about that? where do you even start? >> you start with the week of nearly pulling your hair out and feeling likely frustrated and angry this is still happening pause that weekend five hospitals in aleppo were bombed out that weekend including the children's hospital. imagine, it had been bombed six times before, a children's hospital. >> trevor: the seventh time it was bombed. >> yeah. and, so, i was so livid and furious. we had been spending the last few years to help build six hospitals in syria, so i wanted to do something everybody else could get blind because so many were feeling this frustration and that's how the people's convoy idea came. we planned to crowd fund to rebuild an entire children's hospital and wanted to do it in the week before christmas in ten days and we wanted to take the whole equipment for the hospital

across from london across the europe to syria, and we did that. 5,000 people from around the world -- >> trevor: wow. ( cheers and applause ) thank you for sharing that. thank you so much for being on the show. >> thank you. >> trevor: for more information about dr. hallam's work in syria go to cannedoaction.org. we'll be back. ( cheers agent broughton, she's our best intelligence expert. [ grunting ] ♪ do what they say you've got every agency in the world after you. ♪ one thing leads to another ♪ yeah. yeah. yeah. i'm off to a great start. atomic blonde. rated r. these fruit of the loom breaare perfect.wear they need a name just as perfect.

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is. >> trevor: that's our show. thank you for tuning in. now ore moment for zen. >> what are you voting today on healthcare? >> let me give you a synopsis of the bill we're going to be voting on this afternoon. ( laughter ) i'm absolutely serious. [cheers and applause] >> chris: it's 29 minutes until midnight, what are you gonna do, cry about it? thank you, wow. oh, guys, stop it. [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] >> chris: come on. good god. [cheers and applause] >> chris: we should of gotten canceled years ago. [laughing] >> chris: the show being canceled and still being to have on it is like getting ready for a his