oh, my god. - we did it! [all cheering] - yay! - hooray! - [playing mariachi music] - [laughs weakly] - thanks for the ride, manuel. - si, fly. - well, see ya, fellas! i got to get home before my parents wake up! - yeah, me too! - all right, thanks for your help, dudes. - well, we did it guys. it wasn't easy, but we did a really amazing thing. - yeah, i feel pretty awesome right now. - i wonder if he'll ever come back and visit us... - i don't know. but at least from now on, every time we look at the moon we can know that willzyx is up there, dancing with the other zypods in his castle.

captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com comedy central >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause )

>> trevor: welcome to "the daily show." i'm trevor noah. thank you so much for tuning in. my guest tonight, massachusetts congressman joe kennedy is here, everybody! but first, president trump has not been shy about his opposition to illegal immigration. but now that his border wall has been complete completed and thao longer a problem, trump is turning his focus to drastically cutting back on legal immigration. >> just a little while ago, the president announced a plan to dramatically overhaul the immigration system in the united states. it's called the raise act. the president says it would give priority to highly skilled workers and limit the number of unskilled immigrants. >> as a candidate, i campaigned on creating a merit-based immigration system that protects u.s. workers and taxpayers. and that is why we are here today, merit based. >> trevor: somewhere right now hillary clinton is like, "oh, you think people should advance based on merit now?

interesting. okay, interesting." ( laughter ) but, yes, trump wants to move america to a merit-based immigration system, which means you'll only be allowed into the country if you have a highly desirable skill, like, say, a nuclear physicist, or willingness to marry donald trump. ( laughter ) something that makes you special. ( applause ) only those immigrants. and we'll probably get more into this story tomorrow, but while the president is making it harder for people to enter the u.s., his confederate house elf, jeff sessions is planning to make life easier for certain americans who are already here. >> "the new york times" is reporting that the justice department is planning to take on affirmative action in college admissions. >> the justice department is working on a plan to investigate and potentially sue universities for admission policies that are found to discriminate against white applicants. >> trevor: finally! you know how many times i go to colleges in america and say, "hey, where's all the white people?" ( laughter ) if american colleges were any

whiter, john snow would build a wall to protect us from them. ( cheers and applause ) "they're all coming. so many of them!" "they've got magic and hacky sacks." ( laughter ) now, if you're confused about why this is happening, welcome to the club. jeff sessions and his justice department have decided to get serious about racism against white people, which i didn't think was a priority, but, apparently, it is. because according to one poll, 54%, or more than half of trump supporters, think white people face more discrimination than black people. yeah. no, no, no. look, i know, a lot of white people have real problems. but to hear them saying,un," us whites have it worse than black people." like where? in the sun? ( laughter ) like-- ( applause ) where? it's almost like when rich people complain about their financial problems-- "do you know how high the taxes on my

summer home are?" "wait, you have a house for one season?" "yeah, i need a house to get away from my house. what, you don't have a second house?" "i don't even have a house." "you're so lucky." it's madness. going after affirmative action at american universities is bound to be a big issue. to get more perspective on it, we turn now to roy wood jr. and jordan klepper, everybody. ( cheers and applause ) let's get straight into it. roy, let's start with you. >> whoa, whoa! whoa! why do we have to start with roy? you see, it's happening right now. this is just another example of the subtle bias we white people face every single day. >> trevor: oh, man. here we go. >> oh, no, don't "here we go" me, trevor. >> oh, trevor, you wound him up. >> don't you "you wound him up" me, either. >> for way too long, white people have lived as second-class citizens.

let me ask you a question-- since obama how many white presidents have there been? ( laughter ). >> one. look at the culture, just this year, a black movie literally paul ryaned the oscar out of the hands of a white movie, a movie that had the guts to tell the story about how ryan gosling invented jazz. >> trevor: jordan, jordan, jordan, omof i'm sorry man, the numbers show there is a huge opportunity gap between black people and white people. in schooling, 34% of white people complete higher education while that's only true for 20% of black people. >> trevor, numbers aren't the point. 12%, 55 degrees, four inches. great we all have numbers. ( laughter ) but i've lived th discrimination. did you know that i did not get into western michigan university? you want to know why? was it because my grades were bad or i didn't do the essay portion of the s.a.t.s? or because i didn't technically

apply? or was it because of this? >> trevor: your-- your lady wrists? >> don't you dare gender my wrists. it was because of the color of my skin. trevor, it's because i read at a seventh-grade level doesn't mean i can't read between the lines. i even see it in the workplace. how many times have you covered black issues on this show? >> all the time. i did black twitter, black people in porn, black people in congress. >> see, trevor. are you gog tell me i'm not an expert on black porn? >> trevor: i don't want to know what you know about black porn. but roy does these pieces because he's lived the black experience. >> trevor, i've also lived the black experience! you think i don't know hip help hoff? ♪ i ain't saying she a gold digger, but she ain't messin with ♪ >> whoa, whoa, whoa. whoa! that-- that's not your word. >> okay, you see, you see.

how is that not our word? we came up with that word. talk about appropriation, huh? you stole it from us. >> trevor: all right, all right, jordan, before you make it impossible for me to be your black friend, i'm going to stop you right there. roy, roy, roy, what do you make of the justice department suing universities for discriminating against white people? >> i'm like jordan. i agree with jeff sessions. >> trevor: wait, what? >> yeah, if white people are being discriminated against we have to look into this injfs. >> amen. >> people being blocked from getting into colleges just because of the color of their skin cannot be tolerated in america. i hope it turns class action. i hope sessions slaps them colleges like a strip of booty and v.i.p. >> pow! >> and if anyone has been discriminated against, jeff sessions and his justice department need to go in and seek coosmization for those victims. >> yeah, cut the check! >>-- & it's not just enough to rightlet wrongs of today. we've got to go back.

>> yeah, sure. >> we have to go way back. >> not way back. >> i'm talking hundreds of years. >> make 10 years back. >> and i agree with jordan klepper, reparations for all victims of discrimination. >> oh, no, no. that's okay. that's not exactly what we were talking about, okay. that's why i get my own show. >> trevor: roy wood jr. and jordan klepper, everybody. jordan klepper, everybody. we'll be right back. do we really have to choose him jordan klepper, everybody. we'll be right back. to be our next spokesperson? he's so boring. hm. sounds like you're on the fence. why don't i just leave you my resume? yes, it's laminated. no thanks. you're hired! try the new caramel m&m's. ow. to have great-tasting they sailight beer.possible boom. award-winning heineken light, brewed with cascade hops. they also said a hologram can't pour a beer. that's unfortunate. ♪

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ah. oh hello- that lady. these houses! yes, yes and yes. and don't forget about them. uh huh. sure. still yes! you can get it too. welcome to the party. introducing gig-speed internet from xfinity. finally, gig for your neighborhood too. >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." president trump came to office promising to get people in coal country back to work. but there may be a bug in his system. as hasan minhaj reports. >> coal, it's america's hottest item in 2017. suck on it, figit spinners. president d.j.t. it gawlg in on coal by pulling out of the paris cliems agreement like it's about to get pregnant. but here's the thing-- coal jobs have been on the decline since the 1920s, and no matter how much trump deregulates they'll keep declining because of automation, natural gas, and whatever the hell elon musk is inventing, and people in coal

country know this. >> we have seen times come when coal jobs are gone but came back strong, but this time is different. >> in kentucky, that's all we've got. >> i wish it would come back but i don't think it will be back like it does. >> if the glory days of coal are over, what happens now? are there other solutions? to find out, of course, "the daily show" sent its only brown correspondent to the heart of coal country. i'm sure i'll fit right in. ?ooe♪ ♪ ( applause ) one government agency working to revitalize coal company is the aplatchian regional commission, or the a.r.c. >> the commission's economic development philosophy is based on simple principle-- new industry requires a healthy, skilled workforce. >> reporter: one. a.r.c.'s efforts is a training program called techie. to make heck tek happen, a.r.c. partnered with a local firm.

i met with the kentucky native and c.e.o., anker gopaul. >> you know this segment is called brown and town. >> i did not know that. >> i'm supposed to be the one brown in town. >> oh,. >> now we have to do the song again. ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) you are an indian dude that grew up in kentucky. you started a tech company. >> yeah. >> instead of outsourcing jobs, you're in-sourcing them to kentucky. >> yeah, this is where we do business. a lot of our customers are here and we find talent here. >> was this your sort of move to counter-act racism? >> well, i-- >> it's actually pretty incredible. >> thank you. i wouldn't say my ultimate motive was to combat racism. >> you have to have that as your tag line-- "hey, i hire white dudes." >> we have-- we have a very

diverse workforce, so, yes. >> some people say these retraining programs funded by federal agencies don't work. >> look, i wouldn't have done this if i didn't think it would work. we have seen people move off of food stamps because of our program. we have seen people improve their health and improve their lifestyle. we are seeing this ripple effect occur by the work we're doing. >> my kentucky dople ganger believes in kentucky, but what about an actual trainer. meet alex hughes. alex wasn't a coal minor himself but was still affected by the decline in the coal industry. >> so many people were dependent on the coal industry, even though they didn't work directly in a coal mine so once the coal industry went downhill it got worse and worse. >> here say guy with zero coding experience who works full timeat ankerr's company. >> the techie program took all of the roadblocks out of the way and said here's your opportunity

to learn how to code. and we'd never had that before. >> was your family at your graduation ceremony? >> yes. >> and they were all proud. >> well, i certainly hope so, yeah, as far as i know. >> i graduated from u.c. davis, which slike the harvard of the greater sacramento area, and my dad was like, "you know, i wish you would have gone to u.k. berkeley." >> okay. >> and that was my graduation. >> yeah. >> and i just wish my dad was proud of me. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> so success story alex whose family is definitely proud of him is now focused on developing an app that helps kids improve their reading skills. to him, it's all about creating change in eastern kentucky. >> even if all the coal jobs came back magically today, it still doesn't change that we were dependent on a single industry. i mean, you know, this is great, but it's not something that we can continue to depend on because we've now seen how quickly this can go away.

>> okay, so it sounds like a.r.c. initiatives like techie can help you, and we know president trump wants to help this region-- >> coal country, what they've done. we're going to take care of a lot of years of horrible abuse, okay? and you can count on it. >> so i'm sure trump also supports the a.r.c.'s efforts. >> among the things on the chopping block in trump's new budget, the appalachian regional commission or a.r.c. >> he wants to eliminate the a.r.c., which is vitally important to these small communities in appalachia. >> oh, never mind he doesn't give a (bleep). even though the a.r.c. has bipartisan support in congress and has helped create or retain over 100,000 jobs in the last five years, including the one held by alex. how do you personally feel about the a.r.c. being on the chopping block? >> i think it's a huge mistake. what ankara is doing, and they are partnering to do is change me and people like me. so even if something were to happen and they leave, i still

have the tools. >> so trump says he cares about coal country, but wants to cut a program that helps people who dream of pursuing something other than coal. it's almost as if my fellow brown in town knows what's better for the region than the orange man in the hard hat. >> ankara is the son of immigrants and in-sources jobs. >> that's right. >> and provides jobs for americans in his community. >> yeah, what we're doing here is very american. >> so you're saying brown people make america great. >> of course, they do. ♪ ♪ ( laughter ). >> here's hoapgz that the a.r.c. doesn't get cut. not only is it helping people get jobs-- that's a really long time for a hug. it's okay. i'm here now. >> it's also helping brown people get some love. ( laughter ). >> trevor: hasan minhaj, everybody. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) what is that? it's my dale call.

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>> trevor: thank you so much for joining us, sir. >> how are you? >> trevor: let's get straight into the news. >> oh, good. >> trevor: because on your way here things happened. >> not surprising and still torifying. >> trevor: it is, isn't it? every single day, there is something new. donald trump came out and announced he is looking to creating the raise act, putting forward an idea that americans should only-- people should only be allowed to become americans or come to this country if they are highly skilled, the best of the best-- predominantly english speakers, i think was one of the criteria involved. as a lawmaker, you're going to have to vote on this at some point. what are your first thoughts >> the outlines of that plan i think is an insult to our american story. it's not how my family came here. it's not how, i assume, most of the members of this audience, their family members came here. it is not-- from people that have been in other parts of the world that have undergone and

survived through oppression and wars and famine and hardship, to know that there's a place that you can come to, where if you work hard, there are structures in place where you can get ahead. we are taking that away-- donald trump and the senators that put this bill together are literally slamming that door shut. >> trevor: right. >> and that's not who we are. that's not what makes america great. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: the truth is, there is legislation every single day that seems to be talking about-- that goes against many of the values that america stands for. health care is one of the biggest issues that is facing america right now, the discussion around the affordable care act and whether or not to repeal and replace obamacare. and as we've seen, it's broken down many times. realistically speaking, is there a way to fix what is wrong with obamacare? because it is not perfect. everyone acknowledges that. but is there a way forward where both sides can come together and fix it? >> so the short answer is yes, absolutely.

every single one of the proposals we saw on health care, regardless of whether it was a couple of iterations through the house bill or senate ones of late, they decided, every single one of them, or different, the underlying structure was the same. it created one system of health care for the healthy and the wealthy and another system for everybody else. where do we go from here? there are a lot of things we can do. there are a lot of ways we can fix it. i would hope, if there is one message at this moment that this administration understands, like it or not, the president of the united states is going to own what happens with health care. and he can try to put that off on somebody else, but he's got a unique opportunity at the moment to actually make our health care system in this country stronger and better for every single american. let's talk about something that rocked america, its military, many people in congress, and surprisingly, both sides of the aisle. this is something many people agreed on. donald trump tweeted out, out of the blue, transgender people are

banned from the military. it didn't seem like he consulted with his generals or with the pentagon, rather. and everyone was in a hissy going, "what on earth just happened here?" now, you have been working on a program with transgender people in america. is this a real thing? can it be a real thing? and should it be a real thing? >> is it a real thing as of now? not really. could it be? yes. should it be? absolutely not. >> trevor: and why not? >> why not because it's not who we are as a country. it makes us, our military less ready. it divides us-- look, our men and women in uniform, their families, they step forth and answer that call to service. they are willing to risk life and limb for us. they don't discriminate. they don't say, "i will lay down my life for you but not you." i will serve you but not you." what the president of the united states did last week on a tweet was to say some of you don't count. we are not going to honor that service. and didn't show them the same courtesy, the same decency, the same respect that all of them have done when they put forth

and answered that call to service. and, trevor, we hear an awful lot these days, particularly from many of my republican colleagues, talking about freedom, freedom to do this, freedom to do, that freedom is an inherent value of the united states. those calls for freedom ring pretty hollow when this country cannot guarantee the most basic fundamental freedom, which is the freedom to be you. and if you can't be you-- ( cheers and applause ) if you can't be you, the rest of it erodes pretty quickly. and, look, there's-- behind closed doors, and some right out in the open, even some of my conservative colleagues that are not as staunch advocates as-- of the transgender community as some of us might be, said very clearly, unequivocally, this is not right. you cannot do this. the statement from the chairman of the joint chiefs of staff

said, "we will not do this. we will not act on it until there is clear directive," and it follows the appropriate policy channels, which is why i say it isn't anything yet, but it could be if the white house actually moves in that direction. but you saw him also say that they will continue to treat everybody with dignity until that happens. >> trevor: right. >> and that statement of treating people with dignity, i think is an important reminder for everybody in our government, everybody in our country at the moment, that i think all of us could do a little bit-- could do well to remember that, and i would urge the white house to do the same. >> trevor: thank you so much for your time. >> my pleasure. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: joe kennedy, everybody, we'll be right back.

( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: that's our show for tonight. before we go, before we go, a bittersweet note. as