for joining us, we'll be back september. 19. until then, i'm jim jefferies. i think we can all do better. good night. >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! i'm trevor noah! thank you for tuning in! coming up on the show, minnesota senator amy klobuchar will be joining us, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) but first, we've all been freaking out about the escalating war of words between, you know, the crazy guy with the hairdo and ki kim jong un.

>> indiana and china are in a tense standoff now over a move by china to build a road through a contested border region. india respond bid deploying military. now cheese troops arrived in the area. growing concern this could turn into an actual conflict. >> video showing chinese and indian soldiers clark near the indian tibetan border. soldiers from oath sides fighting and throwing rocks at each other. >> trevor: wait, wait, wait, throwing rocks? indian and china fought by throwing rocks at each other? ( laughter ) you know the guy behind the camera was, like, third world star! what are you doing? you're armies! that is insane! that's the kind of fight you expect to see in a wendy's parking lot, not between two nuclear superpowers. by the way, if you look at that picture of the beach, if you zoom in, you will see this whole time chris christie was chilling on the beach. ( laughter ) that's what they were fighting

about! so where's chri chris christie? that's why there's a war. but while we're on the subject, let's talk about war -- good god, y'all, what is it good for? making someone look presidential. last night prump took a quick break from night golfing to speak to the nation in a major primetime address. it was a good speech and he successfully read it. >> fox news alerted any strategy for afghanistan. president trump announcing his plan for america's longest war. >> president trump promising additional troops in the war-torn country. >> from now on we will have a clear vision, attacking our enemies, crushing al quaida, preventing the taliban from taking over afghanistan and stopping mass terror attacks

against america before they emerge. >> trevor: so one clear -- got it, got it. i'm sorry, look, i know that he's been president for seven months but seeing donald trump making military decisions still weird for me. i mean, he must be the first human being in history who gets to command an army after starring in a pizza hut commercial. ( laughter ) it's just a little strange. but i shouldn't pre-judge, maybe mr. pizza hut has a new plan. the only problem is, while we know trump decided to send more troops to afghanistan, that's pretty much all we know. his actual strategy is like his position on nazis, unclear. >> the president gave few details about his new strategy for afghanistan. it involved increased troop levels but gave no specifics. he also said no end date. >> very few specifics and even fewer benchmarks. >> one way or another these problems will be solved. i'm a problem solver, and in the

end, we will win. >> trevor: yeah. trump is a problem solver the same way godzilla is a city planner. yes. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) the only way donald trump could consider himself a problem solver is if he stops creating problems. "you guys are so lucky, i was about to do something, but i stopped myself. problem pre-solved." ( applause ) now, last night, one thing we all noticed was that we were listening to book report trump. no crazy tangents, no crowd work, just complete sentence, coherent thoughts, focusing on the words, but there was still definitely glimpses of free style trump. >> terrorists who slaughter innocent people will find no glory in this life or the next. they are nothing but thugs and criminals and predators and,

that's right, losers. ( laughter ) >> trevor: that's right -- losers. you're in my vocabulary now! ( laughter ) even as he is escalating a war, trump has to throw in his catch phrase. can you imagine if president obama did that? can you just imagine if he was, like, our special forces have just killed, uh, osama bin laden, uh, bazinga. ( laughter ) ( applause ) yesterday's speech was a little surprising from trump. first of all, because he didn't bring up the electoral college for a change, and more importantly, he flip-flopped on every afghanistan campaign promise he made, right, because, remember, he promised fewer troops, he promised fewer wars, and he flip-flopped on that, and to his credit he acknowledged the flip-flop straight up. >> the commander-in-chief made

it clear he's listening to his generals who say the way to beat the taliban and i.s.i.s. is with more boots on the ground. >> my original instinct was to pull out. i like following my instinct. all my life, i've heard decision are much different when you sit behind the desk in the oval office. in other words, when you're president of the united states. >> trevor: oh! ( laughter ) that's what sitting behind the desk in the oval office means! being president! ( laughter ) i'm so glad he explained it to us the same way general kelly explained it to him. ( laughter ) who are you? oh, and by the way, i don't know why we're surprised. it's, like, oh, why didn't trump pull out, oh, five kids. he was never going to pull out.

come on. what i will say is shocking is that trump went against his instinct. his instinct was to pull out of afghanistan, then he changed his mind. the question is how do you convince trump to not do something, it turns out by giving him something he wants to do more. >> one of the ways mcmaster tried to persuade trump to recommit to the effort was by convincing him afghanistan was not a hopeless place. he presented trump with a black and white snapshot from 1972 of afghan women in mini skirts walking through kabul to show him western norms had existed there before and could return. ( applause ) i've got to say, that's a genius move by the general right there. i mean, trump may not care about bringing democracy to afghanistan, but bringing mini skirts is a different story. afghanistan is a lost cause. we should pull out immediately. sir, with more troops, we could get these women showing some leg

again. i want you to put every soldier we have into this country! this is too important! how many troops will it take to get boobs? how many more? ( laughter ) tell me now. tell me now. ( laughter ) , so president trump is adding more troops to afghanistan. you have to ask yourself what the end goal is. as much as he says he wants to do something different, he's saying familiar things. >> from now on, victory will have a clear definition. >> i owe you a mission that is clearly defined. >> we will not dictate to the afghan people how to live. >> we are not in afghanistan to control that country or dictate its future. >> we must stop the resurgence of safe havens. >> we must deny al quaida a safe haven. >> afghans will secure and build their own nation. >> afghans will have to take responsibility for their own security. >> our support is not a blank check. >> the days of providing a blank

check are over. >> trevor: ba zin -- bazinga. i said it first! bazinga! bbazinga! ( applause ) what's clear is donald trump is slapping his name on somebody else's projects and doesn't have any new ideas of his own. here are fresh thinking on how to handle the war in afghanistan, please welcome desi lydic and ronny chieng, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) what's going on? desi, let's start with you. actually, before we start, why are you wearing martia military? >> the president only takes advice from generals, four stars, like how i find any gynecologist on yelp. >> trevor: i didn't know yelp rated -- forget et it. desi, what are you ideas for the war in afghanistan? >> simple. we have to build up their democracy. institute voling reforms, get power back to the people -- >> trevor: sorry to cut you

off, george w. bush did that. didn't work. >> two, we install a friendly warlord to -- >> trevor: the british tried it, didn't work. >> an aggressive bombing campaign. >> trevor: the soldiers tried that in the 19 -- >> army the -- >> trevor: reagan did that. >> one super soldier hell bent on revenge. >> trevor: is that rambo 3? >> all the rambos and it worked! >> trevor: rony, do you have any ideas? >> yeah. wait, you're goin going to ask e about my outfit? >> trevor: i thought it was a cultural asian thing. i don't want to be racist. i don't know how this works. >> you think asian people dress like this normally? that's way more racist. >> trevor: sorry, ronny. why are you dressed like that? >> glad you asked, trevor. it's part of my idea that what

we should do in afghanistan is send in a private mercenary army overseen by a viceroy. this is not a crazy idea. you should know steve bannon actually pitched this idea. >> trevor: if steve bannon pitched it, (bleep) out of here, doesn't explain why you're dressed like michael jackson on a tuesday. >> obviously in this situation i would be the viceroy. >> trevor: why you? do you have any viceroy experience. >> pretty good at eating grapes fed to me by a southern boy. >> trevor: how would you know you were good at that? >> how do you eat grapes? >> trevor: this is going nowhere. >> wait, wait, wait. okay, you know what? i got it. maybe we have been thinking about this all wrong. you know, instead of leading afghanistan on, let's make a commitment and quit pretending we're ever going to leave. you know, america has spent 16 years in afghanistan. we spent a trillion bucks on it, but let's be real -- we're in this thing for life. why not make an honest territory

out of them and put a ring on it? let's make afghanistan the 51st state. >> trevor: desi, how does that make any sense? >> think about it, afghanistan would make a perfect american state. it has tons of pickup trucks, guns and opiates. it's got something for everybody! republicans will get an influx of super religious conservatives and democrats get an entire state of minorities and seriously open borders. ( laughter ) just don't think of it as afghanistan, just think of it as really, really west virginia. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> trevor: des and ronny chieng, everybody! we'll be right back.

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you have...bug eyes! here come the bugs! ahh! bugs everywhere! uh oh, this little buggy got a lasagna. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show"! let's turn now to the u.s. secret service. as every american knows, they have a very important job, and that is giving the president a cool nickname. they also have another job, and that is making sure the president stays alive. but now it looks like the secret service may need someone to protect them. >> today says the secret service can't make payroll due to the

cost of protecting president trump and his extended family. more than a thousand agents maxed out this year's salary and overtime allowances. the agency must guard 42 people including 18 trump relatives. >> trevor: i didn't know the secret service had overtime. i didn't know they could stop working. how does that work is this does somebody jump over the white house fence and they're like hey, hey, he's moving -- (beeping) -- oh, that's me for the day. see you later, charlie! a weird thing. protecting the trumps is turning out to be a big job, a lot of them and won't stay put. >> trump's large family, 18 members in all, travel often and need protection wherever they. go u.s.a. today reports trump's son eric took a business trip to uruguay earlier this year which cost the secret service $100,000 for hotel rooms. the secret service spent $64,000 to inspect elevators at trump tower and $73,000 on golf cart

rentals at trump properties. >> trevor: wow, wow! $73,000 on golf carts? a golf cart really the best vehicle for this job? how are you going to protect the president in a golf cart? he's got a gun! ( driving sounds ) hold on, mr. president, we're coming!) driving sounds ). hold on ). driving sounds ). ( laughter ) what are you doing? now, although, protecting trump's large family strained the finances of the secret service, hasn't all been his fault. the secret service complained they haven't had enough money for years. with george george, it was because he was visiting different parts of texas. with hand*, secret service had to be trained to do black guy

high-fives. ( laughter ) when it comes to the secret service, donald trump is doing a secret kiss service. ( audience reacts ) sorry. that was -- no, no, that was terrible. i don't know even -- that wasn't even a joke. i don't even know. sorry. pardon me, i don't know what that was. sorry. jerry. what the hell, man is this you're supposed to protect me from the bad jokes, dude. >> sorry. >> trevor: what do you mean sorry? >> i thought it was a black joke. i didn't real -- i don't really get your humor. >> trevor: what do you mean your humor. is this what i pay you for? whatever, man. >> giraffe is on the move. i repeat, giraffe is on the move -- ( screaming ) we'll be right back! i'll kill you, jerry! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ why do we grow our own hops? to brew an ipa all our own. there are no shortcuts to goose ipa.

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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is the senior u.s. senator from minnesota, please welcome democratic senator amy klobuchar! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to the show, senator. >> well, thank you, it is great to be on. >> trevor: may i just say, you have one of the most impressive resumes i have ever come across in my life, and not the work you've done before you got into the senate which is extremely impressive but the fact that you have passed so much legislation. you're like a home run hitter when it comes to legislation in a town where they say nothing gets done, how do you get it done? >> well, the first part is believing you're there for a

reason. the second is to find people and meet them where they are, find that common ground. then the last thing is memo to the white house, be civil to the people. ( applause ) big surprise! >> trevor: just being nice. >> it works. >> trevor: well, it really has served your well. i mean, you have been ranked as first on a list of all 100 senators with the most bills that have been enacted into law during the current congress which is amazing. ( cheers and applause ) do you walk around the halls with a bit of, like, yeah, that's me, that's me. ( laughter ) >> i think it's a good time in politics to be humble. >> trevor: right. very nicely said. very nicely said. >> thank you. thank you. and then to also understand that, yes, we passed some bills and there are people on both sides of the aisle that want to work together and find compromise but the people of this country are facing major, major issues. >> trevor: right. >> it is really getting hard for

them to get by whether it's paying for cable, paying for prescription drugs and that's what you've got to remember. >> trevor: let's talk about the paying for prescription drugs. that's close to your heart. your daughter is a user of the epipen. >> yes. >> trevor: and this is one of the stories in the u.s. that became big because the price of drugs scrb skyrocketing. critics say they need to come down, and the critics on the other side say if you bring them down it will stifle innovation. is that true? >> i don't think so. i think the better question is why in the united states of america of any developed nation in the world do our drugs cost the most. >> trevor: right. >> that is wrong. four to have the top ten best selling drugs in america have gone up over 100% in their price over the last few years. south not just epipen. it is everything from insulin on down. so what we need here is, first of all, to say to the big pharmaceutical companies, you can't own washington, d.c. secondly, big pharmaceutical companies are paying off generic

companies to actually keep their products off the market. we could save $3 billion over ten years according to the congressional budget office. >> trevor: recently the democrats have started to notice a rift in the party and that -- in that some democrats are saying it's time to have democrats running for office even if they may not agree with all the democratic principles such as pro-choice or certain taxes or just ideas that are commonly associated with being a democrat. other people like elizabeth warren have come out and said, no, if you are not going to be pro-life -- i mean, if you're not going to be pro-choice, then the democratic party is not for you. how do you see the democrats navigating that quagmire? >> well, we have a clear platform, and that is that we are -- we believe that a woman has a right to choose her own destiny. >> trevor: right. >> we are pro-choice. but i know in my state, honestly, there are people that vote for me or vote democratic that don't agree with that, but yet they agree with us, you should be able to afford college. >> trevor: right. >> they agree that you should be

smart about how you move forward when it comes to foreign policy. they didn't like that we got into the war in iraq. i would have people come up to me and say, look, i'm pro-life, i don't agree with you on that, but i do agree with you that we need to get out of the war in iraq. >> trevor: okay. >> so i don't believe those people should be left behind, and while i believe in the platform of our party strongly, i believe that one of the dumbest things we could do is defund planned parenthood when that's when a great majority of women in this country get their healthcare. ( applause ) and, as far as our party and elizabeth and i served together in leadership, i was proud of our party when we took at health care vote that, in the president's own words on this mean bill that would have kicked 20 million people off health insurance, our party from joe manchin to byrnes stood together from beginning to end and that's why three courageous republicans joined us, and if we had not

stood together, that would not have happened. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: i'm excited to see how the race pans out and excited to have your on as a guest. >> great to be on. thank you. >> trevor: senator amy klobuchar, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) thank you so much. ♪ ♪ [bees swarming] canelo be bold! ♪ come on canelo! be bold! ♪ be bolder sly. tecate light born bold. real meal for five bucks. real meal for five bucks. real meal for five bucks. real meal for five bucks. real meal for five bucks. finger lickin', finger lickin', finger lickin'... gooooood!!

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eclipse-free tuesday afternoon. sad >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! welcome to it! i'm trevor noah! thank you so much, everybody. my guest tonight, i could not be more excited, the author of a fascinating new book about steve bannon's role in the trump campaign and presidency, joshua green is here, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) it's a fascinating conversation. apparently this is the book