tand by the belief ♪ both: ♪ that a woman is strong ♪ and she has the right to queef ♪ all: ♪ fly free ♪ free to queef aloud ♪ fly free ♪ let every queef show that you're proud ♪ - ♪ you faced so many challenges ♪ ♪ to put an end to your grief ♪ all: ♪ you're a woman now ♪ and you are free to queef ♪ - ♪ it's time for equality ♪ we must give them the respect they deserve ♪ - ♪ they're just the same as you and me ♪ ♪ their rights must be preserved ♪ all: ♪ queef free - ♪ queef free all: ♪ every woman has the right ♪ ♪ queef free - ♪ queef free all: ♪ let your queefing star shine bright ♪ ♪ you are woman, hear you roar ♪ - ♪ queef free all: ♪ queefing too loud to ignore ♪ - [queefs]

all: ♪ queef a little each day ♪ ♪ and let your soul take flight ♪ ♪ ah-ahhh ♪ ahhhh ♪ queef free - for this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. - [queefs] - no! [both cackling] - stop it, katherine! this is a serious moment! - therefore what god has joined together, let no man-- - [farts] - oh! - [cackling] - [queefs] oh, sick! - [farts] - [cackling] - [queefs] - [farts] - that's it! i now pronounce you farts and queefs! [all cackling] captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor

noah. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: welcome to the daily show, thank you so much for tuning in, thank you, everybody. i'm trevor noah my guest tonight the only black scientist in the world, neil degrasse tyson is here, everybody. what a fun chat we're going to have. but first, but first, as you know by now, as you know the situation on texas' gulf coast is bad, and it is getting worse. hurricane harvey dropped two feet of rainfall over the weekend, flooding streets and homes and displace approximating thousands upon thousands of people. obviously the situation in texas is still unfolding so i urge you, please send the people of texas your thoughts and your prayers. but first send them money, how about that, yeah? send them money? because it goes money, then thoughts then prayers. or prayers then thoughts, whichever way you like t people need your help there are many

charities helping the people of tech as such as these fine organizations, the houston food bank, or hands, volunteers, send something, it will help people out. there was a lot of chaos and destruction in texas this weekend. but it was heart warming to see that there was also a lot of this. >> this is about regular folks becoming heroes. that is the reality in houston right now. >> here are some of the boats, people showing newspaper wave runner, boats on their own, trucks, cars, pulling as many people out of here as possible. >> the jackson brothers have made more than 30 rescues saving around 100 people so far. and they tell us they're just getting started. >> i'm going to put the mic down. we'll help them try to get back into the boats so we can get them out of here. >> how many people have you brought out? >> like 12. >> 12 people? >> yeah. >> what are you going to do. >> i'm going to try to save some lives. >> those are the kind of people you should erect statues of, those people right there.

yeah. like the people they say will probably all name their kids after them, you know, unless they forgot to ask their names. then it will just be like mommy, why is my name boat guy. like i was panicking and introductions were the least of my worries. now i want to you take you and your little sister boat guy's friend and go brush your feet, go on, go on. now look, unfortunately, just because there is a hurricane, that doesn't mean that the news stops. over the weekend there were a lot of manmade disasters too. left wing violence broke out in berkeley again. kim jung-un tested three short range ballistic missiles. the united nations responded to him saying if this nonsense continues they will impose sanctions. taylor swift released a new single, the united nations responded to her saying if this nonsense continues, they will impose sanctions. (applause) but let's move on from hurricane harvey to the storm that is

battering the entire country, donald trump. he's been president for seven months. and like a teenage boy with a locked bedroom door, he has been exploring his new powers. and this weekend, trump confirmed that he could get someone off all by himself. >> a legal lightning bolt from president trump late friday. a presidential pardon for arizona's controversial anti-illegal immigration hard-liner sheriff joe arpaio. prominent democrats claim the pardon condones racism. >> and both arizona republican senators arguing the president undermines the rule of law by pardoning arpaio. >> speaker of the house paul ryan has come out against the pardon. this is what his spokesman told "the wall street journal." the speaker does not agree with thea>hñus decision-- . >> trevor: yeah, paul ryan! sort of standing up to trump, yeah. because let's be honest, paul ryan has never really standing up to trump. paul ryan stands up to trump the same way you stand up to a

waiter at a [bleep] restaurant. you're all kfer dent when he's not there, like this food is horrible. what's that, oh no, everything's great, thank you, thank you, yeah, yeah. could i just have all the salts, please, all the salt, thank you. and now to understand why both democrats and many republicans have condemned this pardon, you need to understand the man who trump gave the pardon to. so let's saddle up and meet this character in a special installment of our ongoing series, profiles in tremendousness, pardon edition. >> was sheriff joe convicted for doing his job? >> trevor: ladies and gentlemen, meet joe arpaio. he was elected sheriff of maricopa county, arizona, in 1993 and quickly developed a reputation as an intense opponent of illegal immigration. which you can kind of guess, he's in law enforcement, he's cracking down on something illegal, like how smokey the bear brutally mauls anyone who starts a forest fire. what you think he writes a

citation, no, he kills them, he's a bear, he's a killing machine. but as much as sheriff arpaio prenlted himself as anti-illegal immigrant, it turned out that he was really just anti-being a decent human being. >> in you talk to law enforcement officers that have worked with this guy, they will tell you, he is a thug and he's an embarrassment. >> arpaio has made a name for himself by forcing prisoners live in tnts in triple digit temperatures. >> i already have a concentration camp, called tent city. >> he shackled women to the bed, stun gunned. >> prisoners die at an alarming rate often without any explanation. one of his jailers nearly broke the neck of one of the inmates there, a paraplegic man who had the timerrity to ask for a catheter. he marked latino prisoners into a segregated area with electric feans fencing. truly one of the worst sheriffs in america. >> trevor: we yes, the man trump pardoned is regarded by many as one of the worst

sheriffs in america. worse than sheriff clark, worse that sheriff kol train, worse than the sheriff bob marley shot in his song. and that guy was a real dick, bob marley was super chill, if he kills you, you had it coming t guy intad news. sheriff arpaio abuse of power didn't just hurt the inmates at his prisons, right, they also hurt the taxpayers who had to foot the bill. >> during arpaio's tenure between 1993 and 2015, cases involving arpaio and his office totals $142 million in legal fees, settlements and compliance costs, according to the arizona republic. in fact, that includes two lawsuits over the wrongful death of prisoners and tens of millions of civil rights and discrimination suits. >> trevor: just think about that for a second. $142 million spent because of him. think about all the other things that that money could have bought. schools, or roads, or they could have just paid conner mcgregor

and floyd mayweather to punch arpaio in the face. that's a lot of money. that is a lot of money. (applause) and now here is what may surprise you. all that [bleep] that arpaio did, that is not why he needed the pardon. no, those were just his extracurriculars, yeah, it turns out his full time job is racism. >> tonight the controversial former arizona sheriff joe arpaio has been found guilty of criminal contempt. >> arpaio was found guilty for defying a 2011 court order which barred his officers from stopping and detaining latino mot orists. his agency has been accused of pulling over drivers just because they were hispanic so they could check their immigration status, and not just because of traffic violations. >> trevor: wow. being latino in that town must suck. getting pulled over all the time just for that. sir, do you know why i pulled you over. because i'm playing des pos ito. >> yeah, and without justin

bieber, let me see your i.d. let me see your i.d. now contempt of court may not seem like a big deal or something to get excited about. i understand that, because when you hear contempt of court, you think law & order. are you in contempt, i don't care, i will spend the night in jail. but this wasn't some night in jail offense. this was a federal court ruling that sheriff arpaio was routinely violating american's constitutional rights and ordered him to stop immediately. and he was basically like i don't care, i'll spend the night in jail. and here's why trump's pardon is an even bigger deal. than nearly condoning arpaio's illegal actions. remember how the three branches of government are supposed to be equal, well, convicting someone of contempt is the one and only way the judicial branch can put muscle behind its decision. >> so when the president of the united states steps in and pardons someone's contempt conviction, he is essentially rendering the court's powerless. why would trump pardon joe

arpaio. >> arpaio jumped on the trump train long before his presidential run, supporting trump's birther lies about president obama. >> trump really admired what sheriff arpaio was doing. >> it was just easy to endorse him because everything i believe in, he's doing and he's going to do it when he becomes president. >> you know for a guy whose not racist, donald trump sure has a lot of racist friends, yeah. he's like the straight guy at the gym that all the gay guys hit on. (laughter). >> trevor: maybe they know something you don't. just maybe. and there may be another reason. it feels like trump did this not just to reward arpaio's loyalty but to send a message to all his other kroanies from the campaign, hey, guys, good news, we get our own set of laws. you don't need to cooperate with mueller and the russia investigation, i'll just pardon you. and here is what tells me that

this is really just about trump sending a message to not sweat the judicial branch, right. the fact that arpaio hadn't even been sentenced yet. he pardoned him before the sentencing. and at most, at most, he would have had to spend six months in jail. that's it. you don't need to waste a pardon on someone who is going to jail for six months. like if i was president, and my friend asked me to pardon his-- hell, even if mie mom asked me to pardon her six month, i would be like yo, mom, you know i love you, but its' six months. here say car ton of can els and a burner phone, i'll see you in the spring, all right, i'll see you in the spring. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) 6789 ♪

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tv on every screen is awesome. the xfinity stream app. all your tv at home. the most on demand your entire dvr. top networks. and live sports on the go. included with xfinity tv. xfinity, the future of awesome. welcome back to the daily show. as we all know, the president of the yoobted states has a lot of pokers with. this he can sign executive orders, they come command the armed forces and can get breakfast all day at dennys. anyone can do that last one but it is a power the president has. and as we've seen with sheriff arpaio, the constitutional also gives the president the power to pardon. but why? for some historical perspective we turn now to our senior constitutional c kor michael kosta, everybody. (applause) so michael, i'm going to cut straight to the chase. i don't get this whole point. i don't get the point of america

letting this happen. i thought that in america, kings are bad. >> yeah. >> trevor: but an absolute ability to pardon somebody sems lake a power only a king would have. >> trevor, it's true. we do hate kings but we love that whole thumb thing so we kept it, thumbs up, lives, thumbs down, dies. two thumbs up, siskel and ebert. >> trevor: that is exactly what i mean. like america is supposed to be a nation of laws, not people, right. but the pardon lets the president bend the rules for his people. >> i know, isn't it great? i mean it's what i believe many in the hip-hop community refer to as da hookup. (laughter). >> trevor: but michael, did the founders really give the president pardon power just so he could get his friends out of trouble? >> no, trevor, it was the age of enlightenment, they knew that sometimes true justice demands mercy. i mean sure, maybe the law says to punish someone who, i don't know, got too drunk and was dared by his friends to run naked across the field during a

rain delay at triple a baseball game, but wouldn't they truly great president help scrub that bleep bleen charge off of that hypothetical person's record? i can't even rent a car, trevor. >> trevor: oh, that was you-- i feel like we're getting off track. that is kind of how the legal system works, michael, if you do the crime, you have to do the time. >> well, not always. president's throughout history have absolved criminalled in order to heal the nation in difficult times. jimmy carter pardoned a vietnam draft dodger. andrew johnson pardoned a confederate soldiers after the civil war and thank god. can you imagine if people were still holding on to that grudge? and even honest abe himself, george washington, pardoned the leaders of a violent tax uprising. >> trevor: or was that the tea tax. >> this one was whiskey, apparently back then people were passionate about beverages. >> trevor: michael, even if there are good reasons to have a

pardon, why not make it a special court or panel. why should one person have all that power. >> because we gave him that power when 20% of us voted for him. (applause). >> trevor: as the. >> alexander hamilton wrote in the federalist participate in 74y, the federalist was the person to have power since the president would always be quote a man of were you dense and good sense. i know, nailed it. >> trevor: look, make el, i will not dispute, that i feel like presidents don't always use good judgement when-issuing pardons, though. right, isn't that why they usually sneak them in, like a president only does it on their last day in office. >> yeah, but doesn't have any idea when his last day will be. (applause) he could be out next week, and he knows it. trump is like a guy who gets accidentally bumped up to first class, you know, he knows it's

never going to happen again so goddam it he is going to get wasted and try to open the emergency door. by the way, mr. president, i could use a pardon for that as well. >> trevor: michael kosta, everybody, we'll be right back. (applause) sir jeremy, you are a true friend of the crown. dilly, dilly. dilly dilly! madame susan, you are an even truer friend of the crown. dilly, dilly. dilly dilly! what is that? this is a spiced honey mead wine that i have really been into lately. please follow, sir brad. he's going to give you a private tour of the pit of misery. i'm sorry, what? pit of misery! dilly dilly! dilly dilly! here's to the friends you can always count on.

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unlimited network. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: welcome back to the daily show, my guest tonight is an astrophysicist, the director of the hayden planetarium and author whose latest book is called astrophysics for people in a hurry. please welcome neil degrasse tyson. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: welcome to the show. >> thank you. >> trevor: first and fore most can i say thank you for the eclipse am i believe that was courtesy of you. >> we totally arranged that one,

merica's eclipse z. >> trevor: that was brought to you by the scientists in america. >> in america, the totality hit only the continental united states and no other country. >> trevor: let's talk about your tweet that you-- sent out about the eclipse. >> okay. >> trevor: you tweeted no one is in denial of america's august 21s total solar eclipse like climate change meds and tools of science predicted. (applause) i'm going to ask you this, neil degrasse tyson, is an eclipse the time to polit size things. >> it's not political if one speaks objective truth. >> trevor: oh. (applause) >> just saying. >> trevor: that's fancy talk for yeah. >> no, i just thought here's everyone organizing their lives around attending and viewing one of nature's great spectacles. and i don't see people protesting it. i don't see people objecting to it i don't see people in denial of it. yet methods and tools of science predict it.

so, so when methods and tools of science predict other things. >> trevor: right. >> to have people turn around and say i deny you what say, there is something wrong in our world. (applause). >> trevor: let me go to-- one of my favorite chapters in the book is the final chapter. and not in a bad way, just like that's-- no, no, it's because it is different. it is reflections on thes could mick perspective. >> something we all have is astrophysicists. >> trevor: this is something i really enjoy. you speak about the universe, i will jump to the part that got to me. you speak about the universe and how its millions of light-years from earth and the galaxy and how it is expanding and you go without gets to think that way, who gets to celebrate thises could mick view of life, not the my grant farm worker, not not the homeless person rummaging for food, you need the luxury of time not spent on mere survival. that's a powerful quote to have in your book, that is a powerful idea to have is to almost

identify that to a certain extent you have to be in a privileged place to wonder about the universe when you don't have to wonder about your daily life. >> yeah, yeah, searching for food, shelter, is something that robs us of the limits of the creativity that the human mind can deliver. >> trevor: right. >> and so i ended the book with that chapter as a plea for people to think differently about our lives. take thats could mick perspective that you can only gleen by looking at earth from high up, from the edge of the universe and beyond. and so this is an entire, it's hands picked, by the way. it's people in a hurry. if you are not in a hurry, i got other books for you, okay. bigger, heavier books. if you are in a hurry, this is-- this is for you. >> trevor: right. >> so it is fundamental-- but it's not astrophysics for dummies, first that title was taken am but second, it's real astrophysics. don't think, you still have to

pay attention. >> trevor: are you not cutting corners. >> no, no, i'm not cutting corners. >> trevor: what would you say the importance is. if i say okay, neil, i agree with what you are saying. there are people who do not have the luxury of pondering the universe and its expanse. but i would argue that it is important for people to consider that, why? why is it important for people to think of the universe as being larger than just what we see on earth? >> at first it is intellectually enlightening but apart from that. if you think of earth as our only place to be, as your life, as the only thing that matters, as humans, as the only species that you want to care about, this, this, that doesn't work. as a stable solution going forward. but when you look at it from above, culturally, scientifically, fill sovically, then you realize that we have a connectivity to one another, to life on earth, to the atoms across the universe it is literally true, not only figuratively true, that the atoms that come from us are --

they came from-- the atoms in us came from the same place as the atoms that made the stars, you know where that came from, other stars as well as the beginning of the universe itself. it's not just figuratively true, it is literally true that we are stardust. and this connectivity, that is almost spirit ult. and if you come out of this thinking that differently about life, it can transform how you make decisions about the presence and especially the future. so for me as could mick perspective is a gift that--s could mick perspective say gift, yes, it hacks down at your ego t is not good for human hubris. will you never find legions of astra fissists waging war on other countries, leading people into battle. because we'll say hey, way, dude, that's saturn up there, let's take a look. battles become star parties, right? so it changes how you think about and see the world. so it can have real

ramifications. it's not just a point of curiosity that you have after you happen to have read the book. >> trevor: wow. that's powerful. (applause) astrophysics for people in a hurry. it's available now. neil degrasse tyson, everybody. we'll be right back.