tv The Daily Show Comedy Central October 25, 2017 1:35am-2:05am PDT
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>> trevor: from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! thank you so much for tuning in! i'm trevor noah! my guest tonight here to perform her new song "margo price" is joining us, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) but first, while president trump spent his entire morning rage tweeting republican senators, the first lady was observe the road to fight bullying. >> first lady melania trump kicked off a week of inclusion as part of national end bullying
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month at a middle school. >> i encourage you to make a friend, ask what they like, what their hobbies are, so nobody will be sad, stressed, and everybody feels included. >> trevor: okay, wait, like, what's going on with the tiny microphone? is it that it normally looks bigger in trump's hands? is that what it is? ( laughter ) seriously, i also can't help but be impressed with melania. it takes balls to kick off an anti-bullying campaign in a middle school in detroit. that's like roast central. ( laughter ) i heard eminem was invited along and he was, like, nah, dawg, i got feelings. i'd rather stay in this parking garage, this is a safe space. ( laughter ) i have been to middle school in america before and those kids don't play games. i bet she was like, hello, ked's
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ids. and a kid was, like, why do you speak like terminator's mom? wouldn't it be like a roast where melania claps back, okay, detroit sucks. i'm in blacks novinia. you know what i'm talking about. i've thrown away shoes that's worth more than this piece of (bleep) you call a school. you happy now? you happy? please apply ointment to sick burns. now i drop the mic. that would have been fun, but it didn't happen. ( applause ) but let's move on. let's move on to the continuing saga of the former fox news host and current basement podcast host bill o'reilly. yesterday we learned that in january o'reilly had to pay $32 million of his own money to settle a sexual harassment suit. but according to o'reilly, it's
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not what it looks like. >> bill o'reilly going on offense defending himself in the wake of new bomb shells tied to the sexual harassment allegations he's faced. >> bottom line on this is that my enemies who have to to silence me have made my life extremely difficult. anybody who doesn't like me will believe all the stuff that the smear merchants put out because they want to believe it. >> trevor: no, man, we believe it because you paid $32 million on sexual harassment! ( cheers and applause ) that's why we believe it. $32 million! they say you can tell a lot about someone by what they spend their money on. for instance, last month, i spent $300 on video games. i know, i'm not proud. and my enemies will call me a bitch ass newb who camps, but i can't lie, i like video games.
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$32 million? o'reilly could have made he's own madea movie for that money but if he puts on a dress he might sexually ha res himself. don't do it. ( laughter ) i'm sorry i'm stuck on this. it's an amazing amount to pay out especially if you're not guilty. in a recorded interview with the "new york times" o'reilly gave a somewhat odd explanation. >> this is crap and you know ut. it's politically and financially motivated, and we can prove it with shocking information. but i'm not going to sit there in a courtroom for a year and a half and let my kids get beaten up every single day of their lives by a tabloid press who can sit there, and you know it. >> trevor: so let me get this straight. you have evidence -- shocking evidence -- that would totally exonerate you, but you're not going to go to court because it will hurt your kids?
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as opposed to what's happening now? you know how phony that sounds, right? i would take this to trial, but the idea of my kids hearing a judge declare me not guilty would be too much for them! ( applause ) look, i don't know about o'reilly's kids, but if o'reilly were my dad, i would just rather he gave me the $32 million. i can handle some bad news for $32 million. people would be, like, trevor doesn't it hurt to see your dad get beaten up by the media? yeah, yeah, i watched the news in my private jet. it really hurt, man, but i'll be okay. now, o'reilly hasn't released any shocking evidence. what he did try and do was make it seem like all his former colleagues were completely cool with him. just one small problem, they have twitter. >> yesterday, o'reilly posted thank you notes on his web site from megyn kelly and former fox host gretchen carlson from the time when they worked october.
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in kelly's note she called o'reilly a true friend and mentor and carlin writes thank you so much for supporting me, thank you for being on my friend. carlsen responded on twitter to all this saying, so what, still paid $32 million. ( laughter ) >> trevor: oh! bill o'reilly is over, man, because now anyone can win an argument against him by just saying $32 million. he'll be screaming, i didn't order the calamari! i ordered the shrimp scam pi! sorry, $32 million, whatever, man. ( laughter ) bill o'reilly blamed his enemies, the media and colleagues for his situation. there is basically no one left for him to blame which is why he went up. >> am i mad at god? yeah, i'm mad at him. i wish i had more protection. i wish this stuff didn't happen. i can't explain it to you.
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yeah, i'm mad at him. >> trevor: wow. he's mad -- at god? he's mad at god for not protecting him? this is one of those times that i wish we could hear what god has to say. ( crashing thunder, angels singing ) >> oh, wow! >> trevor: it's god! ladies and gentlemen, it's god! i can't believe this! >> hello! >> trevor: ladies and gentlemen, give it up for god! ( cheers and applause ) >> what up, heathens? ( laughter ) >> trevor: wow, god, thank you so much for gracing us with your presence. i have so many questions. the hurricanes, why did the hurricanes -- >> aaaah, don't blame that on
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me. that is climate change. i made hurricanes, you supersized them. i came to talk about bill o'reilly and why he dragged my ass into his drama. >> trevor: you had nothing to do with what happened to bill o'reilly? >> yeah, in fact, i've had nothing to do with humans, any of y'all, basically, since the titanic. >> trevor: the titanic? >> yeah, that was on me. they were bragging about it, like, god himself could not sink this ship. and i was, like, oh, what about these icebergs? huh? ( laughter ) ( applause ) you want water? frozen water, bitch, let's go! ( laughter ) so i decided to step away from the game for a while is that i get you felt bad. if you stepped away, what brings you back? >> i came down to tell bill
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o'reilly to keep my name out of his mouth! ( laughter ) ( applause ) bill o'reilly did this to himself. and now he's mad at me? hasn't this monster ever heard of personal responsibility? creepy old man! ( applause ) ( cheering ) actually, i know he has. i got the tapes. >> personal responsibility, that's what it's all about. >> because i'm a big personal responsibility guy. the greater food is served by more personal responsibility. i think personal responsibility, you know -- personal responsibility is not wiped away because your circumstance is bad. >> yeah, that's right. i got roku, bitch. >> trevor: from your mouth to
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in chicago, and when we got back, we realized we had left our own michael kosta behind. but rather than buy him a flight home, we just sent him to file this report. >> freshwater, our world's most coveted resource, but it's growing scarcer by the day. so where will tomorrow's battle for our drinking water take place? the great lakes. michigan, erie, superior, huron and the other one, one-fifth of the entire world's freshwater and the biggest body of water i've ever urinated in. but some say there are larger problems with the great lakes than my pee. i headed over to find out. >> the great lakes are in danger. right here we have 20% of the world's pressure surface water and it's being polluted and has been polluted. it's created this kind of toxic cocktail that actually knocked out the drinking water for about 500,000 people. >> speaking of toxic cocktail, ever had a bud lite lime? >> no. but this is serious.
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it's freshwater, it's sustenance, what people need to live, okay. >> as egan explains in his book, it's not just the great lakes that's under threat, it's the entire ecosystem. >> the biggest problem facing the great lakes is the idea of invasive species, foreign organisms making their way into lakes. >> i like what? >> asian carp. >> like a hyundai or toyota? >> the asian carp are a serious deal, they squeeze out other fish species and also jump. >> like off of bridges? >> i'm trying to talk about carp here. >> carp with a p. got it. and for egan, these foreigners didn't belong in the great lakes. >> we're not going to be able to get rid of any foreign species that gets established in the lake. >> let's be honest, these foreign invaders, they're doing the jobs that the species already there in the beginning don't want to do. >> that's not true. they're actually taking the food away from the native species. >> you want to keep it with who's already here? >> yeah, i think that's important. >> you're the steve bannon of
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great lakes, basically. >> i wouldn't look at myself that way. >> right. well, i would. luckily, obama's great lakes restoration initiative allocated federal funds to protect drinking water and native fish species for future generations. but -- >> one of the first things trump did was try to eliminate money for the great lakes restoration initiative. >> he probably doesn't like the fact the five lakes are greater than him and one even superior. it's not just trump that doesn't give a (bleep) about these lakes, egan warrants it's all of us. >> lakes have a second-class status when it comes to cam pairing them to oceans. >> if you drown in a lake, you're a drunk idiot. but if you're lost at sea, it's romantic. >> yeah -- yeah, i think the oceans tend to get a little more national love than the great lakes. >> that's right, oceans. not only do they receive way more funding than lakes, researchers believe our brains are wired to love oceans.
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plus they're just cooler. oceans get pixar movies, theme parks and better celebrities. >> it's the marketing. the problem is the word "lake." >> dan, we've talked a lot and it's been frankly nigh nightmary boring to me. what's the solution. >> the solution is -- >> to turn the lakes into oceans. you're goddam right. >> but the issues -- >> but if we call great oceans, now we're on to something. >> i don't know. >> nice job. thanks, dan. your book, want it back in i'm not going to finish it. >> my mission is clear, make people believe the endangered lakes are actually oceans. when i look across lake michigan, i can't see the other side. who's to say it's not an ocean? >> it's a lake. >> (bleep) dan. this is an ocean, dan. >> i can't really abide by that instant transformation. >> get your head out of your (bleep) book for one second and use your heart and feel.
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i feel ocean. le i feel seasick. i don't feel lake sick. >> it's not just any lake. it's a great lake but a lake. >> i was fight ago losing battle. the great lakes are world famous for being lakes. i needed to start smaller, a like nobody cared about like silver lake in michigan the perfect place to launch my campaign. so i paid off a local politician to help me organize an emergency town meeting. >> i believe it was j.f.k. who said turn these lakes into oceans and that's what we're doing here today because this is a lot easier to changing lake michigan into an ocean. silver lake is silver ocean. ( cheers and applause ) the locals were thrilled to embrace their new ocean. >> it's a lake asshole. >> it's an ocean. >> it's a lake asshole. >> you're an asshole. >> it's a lake. >> an ocean! mission accomplished. well come to tiny land locked waste deep silver ocean. >> trevor: michael kosta,
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another reason why t-mobile is america's best unlimited network. >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a crit cry acclaimed musician who is new album is called "all american made." please welcome, margo price. ♪ ( cheers and applause ) welcome to the show. >> thank you. thank you for having me. >> trevor: congratulations on your album. country signed to indie rock label is not someone would have thought before you did it.
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you have been extremely successful. the first album is you sharing stories about your father and his farm where like many in the midwest he lost his farm and you talked about your family. this album, "all american made," what's it about in a nutshell? >> this album was me traveling the united states and the rest of the world this past year and really kind of postcards from each of those places and what i saw through my windshield and, yeah,ates little more outward look, and there are so many things to look at right now in the u.s. got to watch out. you've got to keep your eyes focused, you might crash. ( laughter ) >> trevor: when someone listens to the music, what's the one thing you want them to take away from the album. >> is this well, you know, i want to set a strong example and be a role model to women out there and younger girls that, you know, we don't have to be a sex symbol, we can speak our
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mind and say the things that we want to say. >> trevor: right. >> and i would like to break down some gender roles that i think have been instilled in us for so long. so, yeah, that's what i hope people take away and men, too, you know, even the definition of feminism and what so many people think that it means, it really just means equal rights for all genders, and i hope we can slowly start to chip away at that. >> trevor: you feel, and forgive me if i'm wrong, it feels like you feel like the current state of america has imparted on your album and your music a feeling that maybe you didn't intend when you first wrote it. is there a certain feeling that you now carry with you where you feel maybe more connected or disconnected from the place you are writing the music in? >> yeah, you know, it's funny how polarizing everything has been and now there's especially this mentality from certain fans or people who want to keep politics out of music and this
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shut up and sing mentality that we've had, but i just really want people to listen to the music and the songs and, you know, especially, like, pay gap, it would have been the same regardless because it's, i think, not till 2119 is the pay gap to be closed. >> trevor: wow. >> but, you know, i think that thats what i want to bring attention to people who think the pay gap is a myth. >> trevor: uh-huh. >> you know -- yeah. >> trevor: when you the about writing a song -- ( laughter ) no, it definitely isn't is a m. when you write a song and people say, you're a musician, keep politics out of your music, please just sing, how do you respond to that? >> well, first of all, i would say that if we want to keep
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celebrities and politicians separate then we shouldn't elect a reality tv star as a president. ( cheers and applause ) that's my first argument. >> trevor: that's a good argument. >> yeah. my second argument is music and art should be thought-provoking and we should not limit ourselves to what we're going to sing about. i think it's important to look at the world around us and, you know, realize that we can change things for the better, an all we have right now are our voices, it's important to use them. >> trevor: it's an amazing voice you have as well. thank you so much for being on the show. >> thank you for having me. >> trevor: all american made is available now and be sure to stay tuned for a special performance coming up after the break. margo price, everybody. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ cheers and applause )
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