throughout history, the one meal when we come together, break bread, share our day and connect as a family. [ bloop, clicking ] and connect, as a family. just, uh one second voice guy. [ bloop ] huh? hey? i paused it. bam, family time. so how is everyone? find your awesome with xfinity xfi and change the way you wifi. (ilana) ah, i wish you could come with me. (abbi) i don't think i should. yeah, probably not. (sighs) you let me know if you need anything, okay? thanks, love you. good luck, dude. okay, here we go.

(camera shutter clicks) goddamn it! (loud sigh) olivia won't wait around for you forever, fitz. who am i kidding? (text alert) of course she will. hmm? what? (chuckling) ♪ lady and the tramp... ♪ girl is a tramp ♪ you walk in... (grunting) ♪ hey. hi. you wanna come inside? all right. i'm never gonna ask about the mechanics of what just happened.

from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. cheergs (cheers and applause). >> trevor: welcome to the daily show, thank you for tuning in, i'm trevor noah. thank you so much. my guest is director and star of the new movie "murder on the orient express" kenneth branagh is here, everybody. plawtion plaws but let's get started with disgraced hollywood icons. harvey weinstein and kevin spacey or as the blogs call them, sparvey. that can't be right. as more details and allegations continue to emerge it looks like both men are doing the responsible thing and pretending to get help. >> according to the daily mail, spacey reportedly checked himself into this $55,000

treatment fa,000 called gentel path at the meadows in arizona. weinstein is also reportedly attending the program. the elite facility runs a 45 day men's in-patient treatment program for sexual addiction issues. >> they do art therapy, equine therapy, ropes course. >> the secluded desert spot boasts a fitness center, pool with yoga and hosted other celebrity clients over the years. >> trevor: wow, yoga by the pool? sounds less like a rehabilitation and more like a prize you win on "wheel of fortune." rich people are having a good time, this is how rich people get punished. where do poor people go for sex rehab? prison? or some guy's basement in pittsburgh where they all share one dumb bell. like what does this even mean. really, the only saving grace is that this place is in arizona. that is about it. bus at least in arizona the potted plants can fight back in harvey tries to jack off into

them. but let's be clear, going to sex rehab doesn't absolve you if you committed sex crimes. we're not stupid, guys. there's never been a special victims unit that ends with ice-t going get this serial rapist to gentd-- gentd el pat, i hope you like water aerobicsk punk. never happens. let's move on. today as we although know, is a major milestone in america's history. it marks the one-year anniversary of the day sausage party came out on dvd. plawses (applause). >> trevor: yeah. and we all remember where we were. (laughter) i was doing a live show about america electing a hairburger for president. and since that moment, democrats have been searching for a glimmer of hope, some reason to be optimistic about the future. last night they finally got it. >> democrats sweeping key races. >> voters giving democrats their first major victories of the

trump era. >> democrats ralph northam beating former rnc chair ed gillespie in a contentious race for virginia govier-- governor. >> in new jersey democrat beating kim guadagno. >> in maine they approve expansion of state's medicaid program under obamacare a major setback for the governor paul lepage. >> virginia democrat took ten delegates, they have a shot of winning control of the house of delegates now. >> trevor: damn, what a night for democrats or as a wise man once said, so much winning. (laughter) (applause) yeah, how do you like that, republicans. you may control the presidency, congress, and the supreme court, but the democrats got the virginia house of delegates, maybe. yeah! maybe. and look, look t may be a small victory but the democrats who won were real happy, and i mean

like real happy. >> democrat bill murphy with a dramatic entrance on stage to give his acceptance speech. >> trevor: considering we didn't hear, considering we didn't hear a rip and see ballsk i would say that went well, that went pretty well. (applause) but this was an important night for democrats. because even though these were just states and local races, they made gains all over the map in red and blue states. this could be a signal that a democratic wave is going to happen, you know, and if it continues, it could even flip control of congress in 2018. which is very exciting in fact, chuck schumer and nancy pelosi were so excited that they were up all night doing keg stands. and that is how they do keg stands, they're very boring people, very, very boring people. the marquee race was in virginia where democrat ralph northam defeated republican ed gillespie for governor. and president trump was not taking it well. >> traveling in south korea, the president who endorsed gillespie

but did not campaign for him, offering this criticism of the campaign overnight tweeting ed gillespie worked hard but did not embrace me or what i stand for. >> trevor: goddam. trump does not play games with how fast he will abandon you. like he quit the guy out of nowhere. one day when the u.s. economy crashes i bet trump will be what a loser economy. i've never even heard of america. i am from sweden, gutentag. (laughter) and as much as trump wants people to believe gillespie lost because he didn't embrace trump's worldview, the truth is gillespie did everything but grab someone by the pussy. just look at some gillespie campaign ads. >> ralph northam wants to take down virginia's civil war mondayments. erred gillespie will preserve them. >> i am a's for keeping them up, he's for taking them town dns northam voted in favor of sanction wear cities that let il

dangerous illegal i grants back on the streets. >> i will fight to make it legal for adult individuals to be free to purchase fireworks like this and we can celebrate independence day in true american fashion. >> trevor: aahhh! i mean you laugh but that was his most successful run this year. oh! i love how he is like i don't know why the government is trying to restrict us from these fireworks. aahh! (laughter) but when you look at the bigger picture, you know who really won big in last night's elections. karma. yes, karma. the spiritual principle that the universe will reward good actions and punish bad ones. sort of like this.

>> (laughter) (applause). >> trevor: so last night, last night that basically happened all across america. incumbents were defeated by the very thing they were being diqs about. for instance in new jersey. >> ashley bennett unseated john carman as a free holder, you may remember carman mocked the women's march in washington. he wrote on facebook will the women's march be over in time for them to cook dinner. bennett protested his comments at a meeting and decided to run for his seat and she won. (cheers and applause) carman, meet karma. he was worried about women having time to make dinner and now karma has given him all the time he needs to make his own dinner.

enjoy your hot pockets, biatch. (applause) karma was all over america. in helena, montana, the mayor who did not want to host refugees in his city lost his re-election bid to a liberian rev geu-- refugee. (applause) so enjoy your hot pockets, biatch. sorry, my mom said i should work on a catch phrase so i'm trying it out. karma greatest achievement was in the 13th district of the virginia house of delegates. >> danica roem making history in virginia, the 33 year old former journalist elected as the nation's first openly transgender state lawmaker. she defeats 13 term incumbent robert marshal who proclaimed himself's virginia's chief homophobe. >> trevor: wow, really? chief homophobe, not only is that in1u9ing to gay people, it's also insulting to other homophobes. you don't own the movement, bro.

it's a democracy. and when you put it all together the democratic landslide, victories for refugees, transpeople, people of color, it was a horrible night for people like sean hannity, which you can tell by how much time he spent covering all of the results on his hour-long show. >> sean hannity next. our coverage continues throughout the night. >> thank, tucker. those results in virginia, new jersey, new york, not states donald trump won. president trump is in seoul, is he in south korea. >> trevor: five seconds? five seconds, that is all the time you gave to reporting that news, five seconds, that is not enough time to cook your hot pocket biatch. (applause) it is working, mom! you know how sean hannity did, that he just threw it out there, he delivered that line like a guy who spilled mayonnaise on his pants before he got to work and now he just said good morning, i know have i mayonnaise on my pant, let's get to work.

let's move on, any question, not about the mayonnaise, let's move on. as happy as last night was for democrats t was a sad night for some because for every new public official, someone had to leave. and last night new jersey elected a new governor to replace chris christie. (applause) i know, i know, i know you cannot process your pain and so it is coming out as screams of joy. so america now says good-bye to its favorite least favorite governor. like if this was fast and the furious, this would be the moment when christie would be in paul walker's car driving away into the sunset until he hits a traffic jam that he started to make a point. so tonight we say good-bye to chris christie and remember some of his best worst moments. >> damn, man, i'm governor, could you shut up. >> are you stupid. >> until that time she should shut up. >> have i tho interest in answering your questions.

>> sit down and shut up. boo. >> sorry for the idiots over there. your rear end will get thrown in jail, idiots. i have never fallen asleep during a bruce springsteen show, i will never fall asleep during a bruce springsteen show. don't put it in mr. springsteen's mouth, put it in yours. >> it is everybodying is folks like you that is really such a unique joy. it really is. you are fabulous. (applause) see you on the beach, governor, it is going to be a little more crowded this year. we'll be right back. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) t-mobile family plans now come with netflix included. that's huge. that's right. t-mobile's got your netflix subscription covered... ...when you get a family plan with two or more lines. really? that's incredible.

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♪ it's a good, good, good ♪ time to be alive. ♪ oh yeah. pizza with pepsi. delicious. ahhh. throughout history, the one meal when we come together, break bread, share our day and connect as a family. [ bloop, clicking ]

and connect, as a family. just, uh one second voice guy. [ bloop ] huh? hey? i paused it. bam, family time. so how is everyone? find your awesome with xfinity xfi and change the way you wifi. (applause) (applause). >> trevor: welcome back to the tailee show, as we said, today is the one year anniversary of the 2016 election. for some people this has been a pretty good year. for many others, it's been about as fun as getting a root canal from edward scissor hands. no, because he's not a dentist, come on people, he's a hairdresser, horrible. but there is one man who had a better yoon than anyone. the president, all right. and no, no, no not president trump, no, that guy has been miserable, no. yeah, trump is like that kid who begs to sit at the grownups table and now is board that people won't stop talking about news. like no oo! the president who is having the grettest year is george w. bush. because up until last year, he

was widely seen as the worst president in american history. by far. (applause) no one wanted to talk to him. republicans didn't want to be in the same room with him. even actual bushes were like just-- but after trump took office, that all changed. during bush's second term his approval rating sank to 25%. but now if is up to 59%. yeah. by the end of trump's second 2er78 t bush is going to be posing for mounter rush more. he's having a great time. having a great time, think about t is he out there doing paintings, is he hanging with obama, he's dancing with ellen, look at him, living his best life. like oh yeah. oh yeah. oh yeah. to the back now, to the back y'all, to iraq now, yeah, yeah, yeah, look for wmd's look for wmd's can't find it, can't find it, can't find it.

(applause) and it is crazy t is crazy but it makes sense. donald trump makes george w. bush look better than he actually was. and it made us wonder, what kind of president would make trump look better than he actually was. >> you know, i never thought i would say this, but i miss president trump. >> amen to that. i thought there would never be a worse president. and then came gorgen. >> i will admit, i thought washington needed a shakeup. but at the end of the day, you can't elect a giant gila monster with eight dick qs. >> not only that, a giant gila monster with eight diqs that said he was going to [bleep] every american. >> i never liked donald trump. but at least he never took a

human school [bleep] it and then ejaculated live rats. >> that we know of. >> i voted for gorgen. >> you crazy? you voted for that dragon-ass face rapist. how could you? >> what did you want me to do. vote for robo president 5,000? of course. it is the robot specifically built to be president. but that's the problem. it seems to presidenty. and it didn't have a clear message. and gorgen did? >> his campaign slogan was me love to [bleep] human skulls. >> oh. >> what, what now? >> oh look. president gorgen pardons the thangsz giving turkey.

>> oh. >> and then he skull [bleep]ed it to death. oh man. >> it could be worse. we could have elected mike pence. >> now that's mad. >> trevor: president gorgen, everyone. we'll be right back. (applause) ♪ every time you call on me ♪ i drop what i do ♪ you are my best friend ♪ and we've got some things to do ♪ ♪ ♪ do you wanna, do you wanna, do you wanna ♪ ♪ do you wanna, do you wanna, do you wanna ♪ ♪ ♪ yeah-ea-ea-eah ♪ (crunch)

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what is that?the google pixel 2.

what can it do? a lot. can it tell me when to leave? yes, now. and the fastest way there? yep. can it take a selfie just by saying take a selfie? yep. take a selfie. what happens if i snap this? it gives you info. what happens if i snap her? she likes it. do i still have to sit here for ages? no, it charges in fifteen minutes. will it ever do this? never. what happens if i squeeze it? try it. google pixel 2: "hi, i'm your google assistant." "how can i help?" hello. so...it's a phone? well it's a phone by google. ♪ >> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. my guest tonight is an accomplished filmmaker and actor without directed and stars in the new film adaptation of agatha christie murder on the orient express. >> it appears our bad luck las worsened. >> a passenger has died on the train. he was murdered. >> dear god, murdered. >> god rest his soul. >> as we are snow bound i have

elected to take the case and find the criminal. >> and why you? >> my name is hercule poirot and i am probably the greatest detective in the world. i will speak to all of you in time, for the moment i recommend that you remain in your compartments with the doors locked. >> trevor: please welcome kenneth branagh. (applause) >> thank you very much. >> trevor: welcome to the show. >> thank you, what a lovely well-- welcome, thank you very much. >> trevor: that was thrilling, a murder on a train and a detective who is clearly a little bit of a diq. i'm the greatest of all time. you play poirot in this movie and for those who don't know, it was all over in agatha he christies novels who huge, but for those who don't know, what is the guest of the story.

>> poirot ends on the famous train which leaves istanbul to head to the kales, 12 distring drk dsh distinct personalities aboard, and one is murdered. the train is stopped after an avalanche and trapped in the snow. so the killer is still on the train and the job of poirot before they either fall off the cliff that the train is mar-on-s on or gets rescued has to find out who that person is before somebody else gets killed. >> trevor: you play a character who is iconic. and i think iconic for a few reasons, obviously the detectives, the stories but mostly because of the moustache, it is iconic. is it true that you spent nine months researching how the mus tack-- moustache was meant to look. >> it is true because in the books he is a chief-- he is inordinately proud of them. and yet at the same time, as a friend of his says, every time poirot shows up people think of him as a complete joke

because-- it's true. the moustache sort of, people ridicule him, they take-- it is great for him because if you are a dejtive it means people underestimate you. also he was would be incredibly insulted if you suggested it wasn't real. he would invite people to pull theetion enormous magnificent things because it was kind of a source of pride, very belgian, loved his am moustache. >> did you grow it or have it put on. >> i tried to, but i got to about the stage where i am at in is more mo dn vem ber but do you-- he says in one of the books, he says the growing of a moustache is an art. i have sympathy for all who attempt it. and it does, you do need a lot of followic el power. have you ever had a maws tsh. >> trevor: i never had a moustache in my life. >> really. >> trevor: i tried my entire life, i ate dog food because a friend of mine in school told me that-- he said if you eat dog food then your hair grows because it grows the coats of dogs. i said that makes sense and i ate dog food and then i came to

school. and he was like you're an idiot. and then i was just like oh, the hair grew but it didn't grow. >> how much dog food did you eat. >> trevor: this is not my interview, kenneth, this is your interview. we're going to talk to you. (applause) this is your movie. >> also how did you eat it, like did you serve it with anything? with some fries or-- i don't know, okay, all right. >> trevor: next. >> next question please. >> trevor: the movie is out, it's a story that is iconic and you've changed it up. what is your favorite part of playing this character. because every character has a quirky thing. you played such a wide range of characters there has to be one thing you love doing as poirot that you maybe even kept in your real life. >> he is a neat freak. i see you are sort of a neat freak, lovely clean desk. >> trevor: i try. >> i carried a bit of that into my life. but i love his, i love his sort of obsessive exulsive thing. he determines that every morning, it must be every morning at exactly the same time

he has to have two eggs, boiled to precisely four minutes and the key thing is it has to be exactly the same time. but exactly the same style which means on any given breakfast there are many goes at these two eggs because obviously hens don't lay eggs the same size at the same time. so i liked that about him. i don't know what that says about me. >> trevor: now i'm going to watch the movie, this is fun. >> i'm not the man who ate dog food. >> touche, thank you for being on the show, murder on the orient express. kenneth branagh, we'll be right back. (applause)