- 22 people? all right! - you wanted to see me, mr. meryl? - oh, yes, craig. it appears that the ratings for your show are down significantly. - gee, what a coincidence. - i wonder w-w-why. - you need to know how important ratings are, craig, so i'm going to suspend you from school and request that you have your testicles removed surgically. - ha-ha, in your face, craig! - you boys are approved for 27 new shows. i want you to come up with an even better idea than the cough medicine story. get to it! - nobody...has any ideas? - this sucks. i don't want to keep having to come up with ideas for shows all the time. it hurts my head. - dude...bail? - i think bail. - bail. - yep, b-b-b-bail.

captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," everybody!

thank you so much! i'm trevor noah! our guest tonight expert in sex and gender relations esther perel is joining us, everybody! going to be a really, really fascinating conversation. but first, big news for anyone, who lives in the universe? >> all right, a new miss university has officially won the crown. >> our judges are weighed in and fans worldwide have voted. the new miss universe is south africa! >> trevor: yeah! yeah! that's right! south africa rules the universe now! yeah! first "the daily show," now the universe! there's no middle, we just went straight there! i tell you, south africans, we are really excited but deep down i feel like we're waiting for

steve harvey to be like, i'm so sorry, there's been a mistake, and it's, like, dammit, steve, she didn't win? oh, no, she won, i just looked at the card and said apartheid never ended. there was a mistake. you guys need to go back. ( laughter ) she looks happier than a nazi that just got interviewed by the "new york times." look at that face! ( audience reacts ) prince harry and meghan markle are getting married! ( cheers and applause ) wow! and you know, i know as a diverse couple, there was originally some controversy about them being together but, hey, it's 2017, people. shouldn't matter one of them is a ginger. get over it! ( laughter ) obviously meghan markle is half white, half black and, i'm not gonna lou, i'm a little disa pointed because i thought if hair which was looking to marry a beautiful mixed-race foreigner, could have looked a a little bit harder, but i guess

that night in morocco didn't mean neg to you, harry. i called you my royal e ed sher! ( laughter ) there ease always one uncle that is sink your relationship -- oh, queeny, that you? oh, those real diamonds? oh! no, no, i'm just messing with you. i went to harvard. nice to meet you. ( laughter ) moving on the u.s. news. today president trump met with native american world war ii heros and met with them to apologize for america's history and the way it has treated -- no, just messing with you. he made it worse. >> i just want to thank you because you are very, very special people. you were here long before any of us were here, although we have a representative in congress who they say was here a long time

ago. they call her pocahontas. but you know what? i like you because you are special. you are special people. you are really incredible people. >> trevor: okay. now -- no, no, i know your first instinct is to be disgusted, but we have to give credit to the president because at least he did the right racism, okay? yeah, he could have easily mixed up his end yans and been, like, thank you, come again, come again ( indian accent) but he didn't and went with the right racism. and behind them, andrew jackson. bad hosting. that's what it is. i wish these subsequentmen had given trump a native american name. he call you "dances with putin." ( laughter )

( applause ) as embarrassing as this thing is, this is far from the worst thing trump has said recently because, even though most prominent republicans have come out against alabama senate candidates and creepy guy at build a bear workshop roy moore. donald trump is not most republicans. when they zig, he endorses are pedophile. >> president trump making clear late today he is standing by alabama republican senate candidate roy moore. >> mr. president, is an accused child molester better than a democrat? >> he totally denies it. he says it didn't happen and, you know, you have to listen to him also. he said, 40 years ago, this did not happen, so, you know. >> trevor: yeah, so roy moore just says he didn't do it and trump believeshome. you know what i feel like? i feel like trump doesn't know that other people can also lie, you know? like it's a super power only he has. ( laughter ) look in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane -- there's no bird,

there's no plane -- ( laughter ) it's either that or he's willing to win at all costs. >> trump tweeted for more support over the weekend and blasted democrat doug jones. the last thing we need in alabama and the u.s. senate is a schumer/pelosi puppet weak on crime and the border. jones would be a disaster. >> trevor: trump's dangerrer ranking system is democrat then alleged pedophile. okay, like in his world, parents will be at the park grabbing their kids, "sarah, stay away from that man, he's a democrat. go get candy from the man in the van. i'll handle this. go on. go on. go on!" ( applause ) by the way, this whole week on crime -- weak on crime thing, doug jones was literally a federal prosecutor who prosecuted the k.k.k. in alabama. that's hardly weak on crime. i guess for trump weak on crime

is an insult for anything. probably has it on yelp when he's reviewing stuff "pink berry, weak on crime! also they threw me out for eating straight out of the machine. one star ." ( laughter ) you know what's crazy is we live in a world where that's possible. that's crazy. ( laughter ) now as a democrat, you would be loving this, because going after trump for siding with a sex offender is like shooting fish in a barrel. the only problem is that democrats are in a barrel of their own, and the last ten days, four women have accused senator al franken of sexual misconduct. now michigan representative john conyers, longest serving member on capitol hill. he voted for the original voting

rights act. while he was making history, he was doing it all without pants. >> john conyers has been accused of rubbing and touching former staffers and admitted a $27,000 settlement to one staffer. >> and now a third woman accuses michigan's john conyers of wrong doing. melanie sloan a high profile washington lawyer said she was harassed and verbally ab abused when she worked for the congressman in the 1990s. >> there was the time i walked into his office and he was in a shirt and underwear. >> yep, turns out even congressional icons have gone to the school of weinstein. what makes it weirder in this story is he's not wearing pants but he's still wearing his shirt. like a civil rights winnie the pooh. it's just weird to me. he can't decide if he wants to be professional or perve in that moment. this is a look i call the dick

mullet, business up top, party down below. ( laughter ) i find it particularly interesting isn't that al franken and conyers are having these issues, it's only one republican in congress asked either of them to step down. you would think republicans would be all over. this you have your political opponents caught with their pants down and not going to go after them? it's like the moment where your opponent is dizzy, finish him! no, it's fine, say republicans. it could be because they don't know the finishing move or it could be they know men like conyers are just the tip of the dick-berg. ( laughter ) because remember, congress has paid out $15 million in harassment settlements or as bill o'reilly calls it, a bargain. i could have gotten two for that!

didn't realize it was cybermonday in congress! ( laughter ) i believe the colleagues aren't calling out people because more accusations could come out at anytime. they will be in a press conference, like, what conyers has done is despicable -- breaking news! guy talking right now totally did the same thing! i will thoroughly investigate myself. if you will excuse me, i have pants to put on. thank you very much. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) there was an old woman who lived in a shoe. she had so many children she had to buy lots of groceries. while she was shopping for organic fruits and veggies, burglars broke into her shoe. they stole her kids' mountain bikes and tablets

along with her new juice press. luckily the geico insurance agency had helped her with homeowners insurance. she got full replacement on the stolen goods and started a mountain bike juice delivery service. call geico and see how affordable homeowners insurance can be.

call geico welcome! hhi!s it going? okay, so you've got two friends here. yes. this is the j.d. power award for dependability. now i want you to give it to the friend that you think is most dependable. ohhhh. ughh. wow. that's just not fair. does she have to? she doesn't have to! oh, i don't? no, but it's a tough choice, isn't it? yes. well luckily, chevy makes it a little easier. cause it's the only brand to earn j.d. power dependability awards for cars, trucks and suvs - two years in a row. that's amazing. chevy's a name you can trust! so, when she tried new tostitos hint of jalapeño chips... these tostitos are amazing. sarah says, "these tostitos are amazing." thanks for the sharing, amy. tostitos. bring the party. blue moon is a well-crafted belgian style wheat beer brewed with valencia orange peel for a refreshing taste that shines brighter.

blue moon. man: rated rp to m. ["say my name" by peking duk feat. benjamin joseph] ♪ say my name. ♪ say my name. ♪ say my name. man: now starting at $199. ♪ chicken and steak for just $10.99 ♪ ♪ chili's made some major fajita improvements ♪ ♪ 48% more meat, $10.99 ♪ please sing it with us it's $10.99 ♪ ♪ chili's is back baby back baby back ♪ mm-hmm! ♪ oh baby chili's is back baby back baby back ♪

wifiso if you can't live without it...t it. why aren't you using this guy? it makes your wifi awesomely fast. no... still nope. now we're talking! it gets you wifi here, here, and here. it even lets you take a time out. no! no! yes! yes, indeed. amazing speed, coverage and control. all with an xfi gateway. find your awesome, and change the way you wifi. ( cheers and applause )

>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." thanksgiving dinner is eaten. weird cranberry sauce is stuck back in the pantry till next year and you pardoned the wrong bird, donald! with that behind us, it's time to look forward to the next big holiday. >> we're going to give the american people a huge tax cut for christmas. hopefully that will be a great, big, beautiful christmas present. >> trevor: boo! you promised us a wall! boo! ( laughter ) donald trump is such a divorced dad. he spends the whole year golfing and breaking promises then thinks he can buy our love with one big present. i hate you president dad! that's the big plan for the president and congress. in the three weeks between now and their christmas break, they're planning to push through a massive tax bill with almost no debate, and the question is what's in this christmas package? is it something that everyone wants -- like fingerlings?

-- or something no one wants like super gonorrhea? and the answer depends on what kind of person you are, human or corporate. >> corporations and the wealthy will see the biggest tax cuts. >> while the corporate tax cuts would be permanent the tax cuts for american taxpayers would expire after ten years. >> low-income americans would start to see their taxes go up in 202 is, and by 2027, all individuals making $75,000 or less would pay more than under current law. >> trevor: makes sense, corporations get to pay less forever and poor people get to pay less for four years then more, which sounds bad but it's fine because once obamacare is repealed poor people will all be dead so works out. i think that's the logic. i don't know how this works. ( laughter ) pretty convenient average americans won't see the tax hikes until after the next elections. really slick. how can they expect people to

vote before people know what they're getting? like having to rate your uber driver before you get in the car. give me five stars, man! can you unlock the door? hey, there's no puke in the back seat, just give me the five stars ( laughter ) those numbers are reality. what do they say will happen? >> this bill will spur economic growth in our country. >> if we lower the highest corporate tax rate in the world from 35 to 20% and make it permanent the jobs of the future will be created here at home. >> this is about making the business tax system competitive which is about creating jobs off. >> trevor: and the first new job will be prying my jaw open so i can speak normally, rrrrrr! ( laughter ) this is weird to me -- they want to help ordinary people so they're giving money to corporations because eventually it will get down to ordinary

people? that's roundabout. like saying you're mung ri, why go to a restaurant when you can sew yourself to the back of a human centipede? ( laughter ) the republican tax bill will add $1.4 trillion to the national debt. you may remember when obama was president, republicans constantly accused him of increasing the debt, like he was spending america's money on jordans. >> the transcendent issue of our era which is deficit and debt. until we fix that problem, we can't fix america. >> washington's unsustainable spending is driving the nation's permanent plunge into debt. we face a crushing burden of debt which will take down our economy. >> trevor: ooh, it must be real because of the music! ( laughter ) every single time this happens. every single time they say they hate something, then they go and do the thing they said they hate because turns out they're secretly deficit freaks? it's almost like when you hear a

conservative going hard against gay people, you know, and then it turns out he was going hard against gay people. it's the same thing over and over again. ( applause ) you know what it makes me wonder? what else have republicans just been pretending to hate? like right now i wouldn't be surprised we find out all republicans are secretly black. you know? just like when the camera turns off, mitch mcconnell is, like, -- (bleep). ( laughter ) now we're a few days away from this major decision an here's the only way i think average americans can stop trump from handing massive tax cuts to the super rich: you have to tweet directly to donald trump and remind him that obama is super rich, so ehe's going to get the biggest tax cuts of all. ( applause ) yeah! and i promise you, within an hour of seeing those tweets,

trump will be like, destroy the rich! socialism for all! me and bernie 2020, folks! we're doing it all! ( laughter ) ( applause ) we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) i had frequent heartburn, but my doctor recommended...

...prilosec otc 7 years ago, 5 years ago, last week. just 1 pill each morning, 24 hours and zero heartburn. it's been the number 1 doctor recommended brand for 10... ...straight years, and it's still recommended today. use as directed.

♪ music playing bye scout! ♪ ♪ where is it you wanna go? ♪ where is it you wanna go? check it out! ♪ oh, dude. i'm sending it to him. ♪ where is it you wanna go? where is it you wanna go? ♪ ♪ where is it you wanna go? where is it you wanna go? ♪ thank you. ♪ where is it you wanna go? where is it you wanna go? ♪ ♪ hey! hey. whatcha doin' on your computer? what's a computer? ♪ all smartphones are more or less the same, right? but this is the moto z. hello moto. can your phone turn into a projector? because a 70 inch projection beats any phone screen. and they might be bragging about portrait mode. but can your phone go beyond and transform into a real 360 camera? it's time to reinvent your smartphone. it's time to move on. moto mods on the new moto z, from motorola. available at all major carriers.

♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a renowned couple's therapist and "new york times" best-selling author of

the new book "the state of affairs: rethinking infidelity." please welcome esther perel! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to the show. >> my pleasure. >> trevor: there are so many people who have seen your ted talks about relationships. there are so many people who have read your articles about sex and the way we see sex in the world and how it applies to our daily lives. when you look at everything that has happened post-harvey weinstein, what do you think we're learning about sex and power? >> sex and power are interdependent. they are interconnected. there is power in sex and power can be sexy, but there's a difference between power to which can be liberating and enhancing and affirming, and power over which can be oppressive and hurtful and demeaning. >> trevor: right. >> what we are seeing today are abuses of power. you know.

that's a very different situation. when i write about infidelity i write about a consensual story. when i look at assault and harassment, i'm looking at a criminal story. >> trevor: right. >> those are very different realities. what's changed is less the accused and for the power of the accuser. whenever people, children, women have been violated, they have worried they wouldn't be believed, and what it takes is people who have enough power to withstand the forces of denial. >> trevor: wow. you know, some people would say sex is a subculture of what we do as human beings. you have an interesting view in that is you see our cultures and our societies through the lens of sex. what does that mean? >> it means every culture, its most rooted, traditional archaic values are surrounding sexuality and its beliefs and attitudes about sex and the most progressive, radical changes also take place around sex. every civilization tries to

control sexuality. license and abstinence. you need some sex or there won't be a species. >> trevor: right. >> you can't have too much of it, or nobody shows up for work. ( laughter ) >> trevor: you speak about how, in many ways, infidelity and the issues we're learning about now display to us the power dynamic and the way women have been oppressed for so long. how do we learn that or see that? >> so the first thing is infidelity has never been a gender-equal proposition. men have practically had a license to cheat, with all kinds of theories that justify it why it's in their nature to roam, and women have faced dire consequences and still have nine countries where they can be killed. so this is about sex and power, actually. >> trevor: right. >> that's one of the big differences. what is changing today actually is women are rapidly changing the infidelity gender gap. >> trevor: how are they doing that? and is that a good thing?

>> well, what it tells you is that women have basically behaved by virtue of the dire consequences of what could happen to them -- ostracism, pregnancy, destitution and even death. >> trevor: right. >> so once she has more economic independence, once she has no-fault divorce, once she can control her own reproduction and no longer worried a baby will come out nine months from now whose color hair doesn't resemble hers, she may be more -- you may learn more about her desire than you actually have learned about her throughout history, which had been her compliance. >> trevor: when you talk about the state of affairs in the book, rethinking infidelity is a blasphemous term for many human beings. people will say, esther, how can you? infidelity is the worst thing that can happen. anyone who cheats or can is in a marriage that ends because of cheating is the worst human being possible. you argue something slightly

different, not condoning, but arguing there can be a good that comes from this. how. >> i wrote "the state of affairs" because i think we need a new conversation for the oldest sin. any audience, i could ask here, have you been a child whose parent was unfaithful or left for somebody else? have you been an offspring of illicit love, are you a friend someone's been weeping on, are you a confident or one of the primary protagonist? 80% of the awed yen will say they have been acted by infidelity in their lives. it's not a few bad apples. for that we need a caring, compassionate conversation that doesn't reduce everything in black and white, which doesn't mean to say it is good, but it is complex and has existed since marriage was invented and so, too, the taboo against it. >> trevor: thankfully you wrote a book because it's one of the most fascinating conversations to have. thank you very much for being on the show. "the state of affairs" is available now. you can also listen to esther's

podcast "where should we begin." esther perel,