moses...i... i apologize for any inconvenience. y-you see, i was just, uh-- die. - [screaming] all: hooray! - kenny! - that blow to his head must've killed him. - he saved us. he saved all the jews. - you know, i think we all learned something today. it's fine to have your own beliefs and your own traditions, but as soon as you start excluding people from your ways only because of their race, you become separatist. and being a separatist sucks ass. - we've learned a lot from you and your great friend kenny. - every year, we shall gather here in this special place and bring kenny tidings of soap sculptures and macaroni pictures. - yes! - and those little... shaker things where... you put beans inside of paper plates that are glued together. - paper plate bean shakers. - and let us put patterns of glue on the outside of those paper plates so we can then pour glitter on them

so they look nice and sparkly. - you heard him, scouts! let's get to work! captioning sponsored by comedy central >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: thank you so much,

people. thank you so much! welcome to "the daily show." thank you so much for tuning in. i'm trevor noah. or guest tonight here to talk about the new movie "downsizing," actress niecy nash is joining us! ( cheers and applause ) but first, but first, big news from the f.c.c. net neutrality is no more. wooo! no? oh. i never know which way you guys are going to go. i never know. this could mean that internet service providers could slow down your netflix or your gaming or your porn, unless those companies pay them more money. so you know what this means? i guess we're all going to have to be sneaking on to canada's wifi! what's the password? a boot? okay. it doesn't work. two "o"s? how does this work. i'm not too worried, man. there is no evidence this is going to break the internet, or whatever people are saying. so if you're watching this show right now online right now, i just want to remind you at--

( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) pig man. but moving on, moving on. remember yesterday, we heard that omarosa had been fired from the white house. well, this morning, she went to the confession camp and told her version. >> i resigned, and i didn't do that in the residence, as being reported. but when i have a chance to tell my story, michael, quite a story to tell. as the only african american woman in this white house, as a senior staff, an assistant to the president, i have seen things that have made me uncomfortable, that have upset me, that have affected me deeply and emotionally, that has affected my community and my people. >> trevor: oh. when she says "her people" does she mean reality show stars? because she was not fighting for black people in the white house. "my people." slow down, omarosa parks. slow down. you can roll hard with president trump for a year and then come back to the neighborhood like, "that was really weird, right?

anyone else notice that or is it just me? anyone?" if you're wondering whether black people are buying it, just ask robin roberts. >> she said she has a story to tell. i'm sure she will be selling that story. she will. bye felicia. ( cheers and applause ). >> trevor: oh black women do not mess with omarosa. and, also, what a great moment to use "bye felicia." it's so awesome to see a sophisticated reporter use that phrase with a straight face. i can only imagine white people are probably watching that like, "wow, felicia got fired, too? this white house is crazy!" ( laughter ) but, hey, man, trump should get to run his white house the way he wants, because who knows how long he has? i mean, robert mueller is on his tail. former head of the f.b.i.-- former head of the f.b.i., current special counsel, and

least-likely "s.n.l." host. i "i like to thank the cast wizz khalifa, no comments." he has taken down paul manafort, michael flynn, as well as richard gates and george papadopoulos, who we all remember, were two other guys. anyway, as mueller's investigation creeps forward, trump's people are sweating more than h.r. manager at the weinstein company. and from the very beginning, trump's team has been trying to discredit the investigation by saying that the f.b.i. is biased against donald trump. the problem for them was they had nothing to use as evidence. until now. >> the president's attorneys taking aim at f.b.i. agents working on the russia probe. of primary concern-- special agent peter strzok. >> f.b.i. counter-intelligence agent peter strzok, and senior f.b.i. lawyer lisa page, used their phones to criticize donald trump throughout the campaign. >> "god, trump, siloathsome

human" page texted in 2016. strzok responded, "yet, he may win." as he watched the final debate between donald trump and hillary clinton, strzok said to page, trump is an idiot, unable to provide a coherent answer." >> trevor: wow. an f.b.i. agent was sending text messages in 2016 saying that trump is an idiot. how did he know? ( laughter ) what other secrets is the f.b.i. hiding? ( laughter ) so let me explain to you real quick why this might be a big deal. agent strzok was one of the teams investigating hillary's emails. then it was found during that same time, he was sending out texts insulting candidate trump. now, i'm not going to lie-- i'm disappointed. and not because this dude had an opinion on politics. i'm disappointed because this dude was a counter-intelligence officer who wasn't covering his tracks. i mean, least use code. don't say, "trump is nuts." you say, "orange equals

peanuts." see? yeah. ( laughter ) that way you can deny it. or like this. you go, "pussy grabber is undermining this country. i pray we take him down for russian meddling." you see that? you sigh? that's how it works. ( cheers and applause ) yeah. and then after you send that message, they respond, "great. let's smash black power" that's how i would do it. that's how i would do it. now, it's one thing to be an f.b.i. agent texting about a presidential candidate being an idiot. i mean be everyone's called donald trump an idiot. but that's not all strzok texted. >> one of those messages by peter strzok to f.b.i. lawyer lisa page read, "i want to believe the path you threw out for consideration in andy's office there's no way he-- meaning trump-- gets elected. but i'm afraid we can't take that risk. it's like an insurance policy in the event you die before you're 40." >> trevor: now, i don't really know what that text means, but it's provocative, and it gets the people going. laugh

( applause ) what does dthis f.b.i. agent mean when he said, "we can't take that risk," and "insurance policy?" we don't know because the justice department released this message with no context. and a text without context could mean anything. like, if you've ever been in a relationship, you know how dangerous it is to read a text out of context. it could be what you suspect, or he happens to call his grandmother by her first name, and they did have a great time last night. yeah. at the strip club where she dances. look, you know what i mean. i'm just saying, maybe. all right, i'm guilty. 15. now, as soon as mueller found out one of his agents had sent these texts he took this man off the russia investigation. put it may be too late, because for trump's people, the fact that strzok was ever on the russia investigation is reason enough for shutting down the erntire thing. and i mean the entire thing. >> "there is a cleansing needed in our f.b.i. and department of

justice." >> mueller is corrupt. the senior f.b.i. is corrupt. >> if he had any sort of moral compark he would shut down mueller's corrupt witch hunt immediately. >> the attorney general has the power to shut it down, and we need him to step up and do his job. >> this whole investigation, quite frankly, stinks worse than cabbage cooking in a small, unventilated kitchen. >> forget about shutting down mr. nuclear. do we need to shut down f.b.i.? >> trevor: what did that guy say about cabbage? did this guy say he wanted to shut down the f.b.i.? hey, you know, what? this may be one of those crazy instance where's i think trump supporters on fox may actually be on to something. no, because, listen to what they're saying. there is a law enforcement agency that has some bad apples. and even though it's not everyone, they're saying this is enough misconduct to require complete structural reform. yeah, because you may have only caught one bad cop, but the problem here isn't that person. it's the system. that's what they're saying.

so i agree with trump's people on fox news. black lives matter. ( cheers and applause ) now, let's smash. we'll be right back. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) so this is the all-new chevy equinox. it's gorgeous. it offers rear seat reminder, built-in 4g lte wifi... apple car play compatibility... wow... ...and teen driver technology. that's crazy... now to get all of these features, you'd need all six of those crossovers. that's insane! yep, and you still wouldn't get everything that's in this equinox. wowww... six cars in one.

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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to

"the daily show." thanks to president trump, 2017 was a huge year for totally made-up stuff. but there is one totally made-up thing that has proven to be the opposite of completely worthless. >> it is the hottest currency in the world-- the bitcoin. in the past 12 months, investors have driven the value up nearly 1,500%. >> if you had put in $100 back in 2009, you would have about $28 million today. >> so you are the youngest bitcoin millionaire. >> uh-huh. >> how does that feel? at age 12, he invested a $1,000 gift from his grandmother. >> so i checked the bitcoin price every 30 minutes. >> trevor: okay, that kid has the best grandma ever. ( laughter ) all my grandma ever gave me was this stupid locket with a picture of our great-great- grandfather on his wedding day. and she was like, "oh, trevor, i kept this hidden for you during the darkest days of apartheid." well, you blew it, nana! i could have been a millionaire. ( laughter )

but what exactly is bitcoin? and is one of them really worth 19,000 boring old dollars? >> created by an anonymous computer programmer in 2009, bitcoin exists only as code in a computer. a bitcoin can be sent directly from one owner's digital wallet to another. >> what it promised was a money that could exist outside the control of wall street and outside the control of any government. >> but red flags are being raised. legendary investor warren buffet warns it will go bust, and jamie dimon, c.e.o. of jpmorgan chase, warns the lack of regulations means investors are playing with fire. >> this may be the biggest bubble that we've ever seen. >> trevor: wow. you know it's messed up when wall street is like, "yo, pump your brakes. pump your brakes. this is some sketchy (bleep) right here, man. where's the regulation? we need regulation!

come on!" and by the way, bitcoin is just the beginning. there are thousands of these cryptocurrencies popping up. and jockeying for position. and so we sent our very own ronny chieng to find out more about them. >> cryptocurrency is this some (bleep). on the internet to steal our money. or is this the future of finance? there is no way all these people buying cryptocurrency have any idea what the hell they're buying. and it's not just bicoin. ethereum, the number two cryptocurrency, has risen 5,000% since the start of this year. why? >> if you imagine bitcoin as being a gold coin, ethereum is a join that has a magic spell on it. >> what the hell does that mean? i went to the founder of ethereum, to find out. first question: what is it? what is it? >> ether, the cryptocurrency that lives on the decentralized ethereum platform, is actually a much more programmable cryptocurrency than bitcoin. >> that doesn't mean anything. what is it? >> we created a platform for decentralized applications. >> does everyone in

cryptocurrency talk like you? >> pretty much. >> is everyone going "decentralized, dark web, and drugs online?" >> exactly. >> does cryptocurrency make you feel angry and confused? well it should. to make it easier to understand we asked margot robbie to explain it in a bubble bath, but she said no. cryptocurrencies are transparent and decentralized. when two strangers exchange money over the internet, it requires a middle man, like paypal or a bank who takes a percentage of the transaction. and that transaction is vulnerable. cryptocurrencies are recorded in a public ledger called the blockchain. so it's impossible to cheat. they actually solve a lot of problems about exchanging money in a global digital world. now get the (bleep) out of here! but still, is that worth a bajillion dollars? why do so many suckers on the internet-- sorry, i mean people-- believe fake money has value? >> ether is real. it's based on the ethereum blockchain. when you get enough people believing in cryptocurrency,

then you can snowball into something that a society actually deems valuable. like the u.s. dollar. >> whoa, whoa, whoa, what do you mean the u.s. dollar? >> the u.s. dollar is based on faith in the system. >> so the only thing backing this money is belief in the competency of the u.s. government? >> unfortunately, that's true. >> so not only is cryptocurrency fake. all money is fake. wake up, wall street. you know money isn't real, right? all this stuff is all fake. but wall street doesn't care if money is real, as long as they're making lots of it. they've been pumping millions into the bitcoin and ethereum, driving the creation of thousand of new cryptocurrency. but how low is the bar for so let me get this straight-- you took bitcoin and just the font. >> and we put a dog on it.

>> why is it doge? >> it's base on a people. it's not dog e.coin? >> that's pretty smart, actually. >> it's not. this stupid people currency is worth over $400 million. so why does the creator have a problem with cryptocurrency? >> when you see price charts go up exponentially, ultimately, it can be the sign of a bubble. >> bubbles are great. what are you talking about? i love bubbles. >> people are going to lose a lot of money. >> and sure, cryptocurrency my destroy the world but this is america! so i decided it make my own cryptocurrency. but that has to be an incredibly complex-- >> done. that was easy. >> i did it. it literally takes 10 minutes to go on a website and make your own coin. try to make it rain chieng coin and kickstart the financial revolution. do you accept the chieng coin? chieng coin, like bitcoin, disrupting global financial systems using blockchain technology? >> no. only cash. >> i'll send you money over the

internet. i'm going to demonstrate. so imagine if i send you this, right? >> thank you. >> no, but-- no, no. give me back my five. how are people not getting this? no, i'm paying you. i'm paying you in chieng coin. >> get the (bleep) out of my cab! out of my cab! >> remember this moment. remember this moment when you had a chance to jump on chieng coin and you didn't. all right. his loss. invest in chieng coin. just don't ask me how it works. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: ronny chieng, everybody. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ it's a good, good, good ♪ time to be alive. ♪ oh yeah. pizza with pepsi. delicious. ahhh.

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♪ ladies and gentleman this is a robbery. what are you doing after this? ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show."

my guest tonight is the emmy- nominated actor and star of the tnt series "claws" who can be seen in "downsizing." >> you have $152,000 in equity. that is a very comfortable number. >> comfortable? that doesn't sound like nearly enough. >> no, see, have to look at this column, valerie, equivalent value. your $152 million translates to $12.5 million to live on for life. i mean, come on! >> wow. >> so, what do you think? will the regency level be your first choice, or should i show you something a little more deluxe? >> why don't you just go ahead and pick. i just want you to be happy. >> good husband! >> trevor: please welcome niecy nash! ( cheers and applause )

welcome to the show. >> thank you for having me. i'm so happy to be here! >> trevor: i'm happy to you have here. thank you so much for being here. >> thank you, thank you, thank you. before you say anything, i need to say that came with a gang of girls-- hair, makeup, my daughter-- all of them are vying to be your next wife. ( laughter ) i had to get that out of the way. >> trevor: i like how you said "my next wife" like i already have one. that's an interest ago "your next wife." >> i don't know. you might have multiple wives where you're from. >> trevor: that's true. my president has five, so yes. that makes a lot of sense. at the same time. i know that sounds crazy. he was like, i like donald trump. i won't divorce them. i'm getting them all. welcome to the show. thank you for being here. let's talk about the movie "downsizing." some people might be watching the clip and saying what is going on? what is "downsizing" about? it's one of my favorite premises for a movie ever. >> okay, well, you have to lean into a world where scientists have created a way to downsize a person to five inches.

>> trevor: right. >> now, you have to think about this-- when you go small, you're able to live large. so if you were only five inches tall, this table would be a mansion. you understand what i'm saying? >> trevor: i do. >> so, anyway, it's kind of about-- the movie is about what happens to people-- because some people decide to actually do it. the one thing about it, though, the downside to "downsizing," is you don't get to upsize again. once you go down, it's permanent. >> trevor: are you willing to shrink down to five inches for the rest of your life to have more money? >> to have more everything. >> trevor: if you cut that phrase on its own, it sounds like another question. let me ask, would you do it? would you shrink yourself down? if they said, "come on, niecy, we'll shrink you down and you get to become a kajillionaire and you get to live as a five-inch-tall person in a mansion that has everything.

here's the thing. i'm a creature of habit, and i like what i'm used to, so i might not do it. but i'm such a lover, if my man was going, i'd go right down that rabbit hole! ( laughter ) ( applause ) i would say, "where are we going, daddy?" and i would go right with him. >> trevor: you have gone on to be part of a show that's really successful and has a cult following and is a sleeper hit, called "claws." it's a crazy story. are you the bad guy or the good guy in the show? i can't figure out. >> i'm both. i'm a bad girl-- i'm a good girl who does bad things, and you root for me to win. >> trevor: oh, interesting. >> you know, i'm really trying to take care of everyone in my salon, but in the process, i end up becoming a queen pin in the dixie mafia. >> trevor: right, did you-- ( laughter ). >> don't laugh at that! i'm trying to feed my family!

>> trevor: do you ever see parallels to what you've portrayed on "claws" to the story i've often heard you talk about in hollywood and the world, where you go, "these are women, women of color, who are trying to make ends meet." these are women who go, "this is the world that i'm living in. these are the decisions i have to make." and i look at your career, and i go, you have been in a lot of tv and film. you have worked a long time in this industry. have you felt like it is a constant slog where you have to do more work than most to get the same or even a piece of something? >> well, the one thing i will tell you is that for me, i feel like "no" just means ask another way. so i am super relentless when i want something. and i fight for it, and i feel like at the end of the day, nobody is going to fight harder for you than you're going to fight for yourself. >> trevor: right. >> so when i go out there-- and i think i'm the only person in hollywood who still got my original teeth. i don't know. ( laughter ) you know what i mean? i got my original teeth. i got all this junk in the trunk, but i don't care! i don't care! okay. i'm living my best life.

and i go out there, and i'm unapologetic, and i really try to make sure i turn in a performance every time that makes people go, "well, i didn't see that coming." and that's when i feel like i've done my job. >> trevor: and you do your job amazingly. thank you so much for being on the show. ( cheers and applause ) "downsizing" is in theaters december 22. niecy nash, everybody. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause )