thank you, everybody, for coming out. thanks. thank you very much. thank you, everybody. have a great night. thank you. thank you so much. thank you. ♪ thannouncer: from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, "the daily show with trevor noah" presents "out of office 2017." - translating donald trump is a real challenge as our very own desi lydic reports. - america hears trump in english. - i know words. i have the best words. - well, sort of. but the rest of the world doesn't hear trump. - [speaking arabic] - [speaking french]

- the rest of the world hears... the translators. we assembled five translators from all over the world to hear their experiences when it comes to translating trump. of all the people you've had to translate, where does president trump fall? - he's probably the worst that i've ever translated. - trump is incoherent. - and he changes his mind in the middle of a sentence. - sometimes his message is not quite grammatical and seems a little bit uneducated. - i would say it's not particularly difficult to translate trump. - all right, get the [bleep] out of here. get this guy out of here. russian kramer aside, how does one translate trump with all these obstacles? - sometimes i lie. - you lie? - i have to. - no, no, no, but you can't do that. you can't do that because, see, we are counting on you to translate president trump accurately

to the rest of the world. - okay. i am accurate 97% of the time. - 97% you translate trump correctly? - yeah. yeah. - but the 3%-- - 3% you have to fake it. - 3% of the time you have to fake it. - to makes sense, otherwise you're gonna look like an idiot yourself. - it makes us sound stupid. - bing-bing. bong-bong. bing-bing-bing. - how would you translate that? - bing-bing. bong-bong. - interesting. okay, maybe that was a softball, but how about this memorable quote? - a total and complete shutdown of muslims entering the united states until our country's representatives can figure out... - what the hell is going on. - what the hell is going on. - there's no equivalent to "what the hell's going on" in arabic. - that's unfortunate 'cause that would be a widely-used turn to phrase. that's one of the main issues. trump's special vocabulary doesn't always exist in other languages. - you can do anything. - whatever you want. - grab them by the pussy.

- is there a japanese word for this? - sure. that's [speaking japanese]. - no, that's not gonna work. it's too cute. it's too cute. okay. how about this? - roast beef? - kind of. beef curtains. - beef curtains. mm-hmm. beef curtain [speaking japanese]. - try that. - we will build the wall, and mexico is going to pay for the wall. - [speaking spanish] - okay, that is--no, there is warmness in your eyes. you're smiling. that is not the way he said it. you have to do it like he does it. people at home are gonna think he's joking. - people have a sensitivity, so you don't want to offend them more than he already has, you know? - no, you got to give them the trump. "who's gonna pay for the wall?" - no mexico. - yeah. no, i know mexico's not gonna pay, but trump believes that mexico's gonna pay for the wall, so if you're gonna translate him, you have to believe it too.

"who's gonna pay for the wall?" - nobody is gonna pay for that wall in mexico. - i know. i know. i know. what is wrong with these translators? no one is capturing the true trump. it's not just his words. there's something more. - the poor guy, you got to see this guy. oh, i don't know what i said. ah, i don't remember. he's going, like, "i don't remember. well, maybe that's what i said." - yeah, that's pretty accurate. i think you kind of got the gist of that. - i'm trump for the moment while i am interpreting his words. - this beautiful mime was right. that's what these translators were missing. they needed to embody trump, his tone, his mannerisms, his sexism, the whole package. and down with a dumb face. uh. - uh. - grab them by the pussy. grab them by the pussy. sad. sad. - triste. triste. - after a grueling seven minutes of training, these translators were ready. with cojones. - [speaking spanish] - there you go. muy bien.

- [speaking japanese] - nailed it. oh, my god. oh, my god. okay, that's--that's good. thank you. thank you. you can cut. [dramatic music] ♪ - i know what you're thinking. how did my incredibly chiseled body end up here? - enjoy your drugs. next. - pick-up for ronny chieng. - right. 25 milligram daraprim. that'll be $45,909.10. - wait, did you say $45,909? - and 10 cents. - how is that even possible? how did this medicine become so expensive? i went home to do some research. yes, this is how i do research. it's the future, okay? deal with it. - one tablet of daraprim used to cost $13.50.

the drug maker recently increased the price to $750. - apparently in america drug companies can do whatever the hell they want, and that's exactly what this asshole did. remember martin shkreli? he was the one who raised the price of the life-saving drug, daraprim. - in response to all of this attention, are you gonna change the price? - no. - i also found out that a group in australia managed to replicate the same drugs for just 2 bucks a pill. at that price, it's cheaper for me to fly to australia than to buy it in america, so i did, and guess what? the scientists responsible were... these high school nerds. meet the young chemists from sydney grammar's all boys high school. man, i love it. all that time you could've wasted going on dates and having a life you guys channeled in to your science. - i guess. - yeah. - what we're trying to do is just to demonstrate that this drug doesn't deserve to be price-hiked to $750 a pill. - except for one guy who went on a tweeting rampage

against them when their success started to make headlines. - we were able to do this in a school lab with cheap school equipment compared to a fully-fledged facility that he has, and when you compare the spectroscopy, we got very high yield, very high purity, so our synthesis game is also on lock, shkreli. - oh, snap. they talk science and trash, and they can back it up. where's this magic stuff you made? - there it is. wonderful little beautiful white powder. - that's it? - yep, that's it. - and how much is that worth? - it's about worth a bit over $100,000. - the street value of that is $100,000? - in the u.s., yeah. - so how did you guys celebrate your newfound wealth? - we didn't make money from it. we're just making it to prove a point, really. - hang on. wait a second. so you created a drug, and you made no money from it? - no. - no. - what are they teaching you at this school?

- sci--science? - which takes us back to where we were. [dramatic music] i needed a large supply of pharmaceuticals to bring back to the states to make mill--i mean, save millions of lives, and i knew just the people to make it happen. all right, listen, you australian genius brats, i need drugs, lots of drugs. keep mixing that. go. - why are you in underwear? - look, i don't know much about chemistry, but i know you got to take your pants off when you do it, okay? that's basic science. science, bitch! [hip-hop music]

this pitchmas, let's acca-finish this. [ all cheering ] hell yeah. the bellas, we show them that we are not a joke. end on a high note. [ vocalizing ] what a beautiful group. everyone of them going nowhere. rated pg-13. mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow. but after an electrical fire from faulty wiring, mary's vintage clothing and designer shoe collection were ruined. luckily, the geico insurance agency had recently helped mary with renters insurance, and she got a totally fab replacement wardrobe at bloomingdale's. mary was inspired to start her own fashion line, exclusively for little lambs. visit geico.com and see how affordable renters insurance can be. (train whistle blowing) i want a rabbit. what about you?m well, i want an iphone. make sure you get that on verizon. it's the most awarded network ever. and if anyone asks, i want a bigger train next year. (vo) give the gift of iphone 8 and get one on us.

♪ ladies and gentleman this is a robbery. what are you doing after this? ♪ man: rated e to m. ["i feel you" by depeche mode] ♪ i feel you within my mind ♪ ♪ i feel you ♪ you take me home to glory's throne ♪ ♪ by and by ♪ i feel you man: now starting at $199 man: now starting at $199 and roomba from irobot gets to work using two multi-surface brushes and power-lifting suction to grab and remove everything from fine dust to large debris. daily dirt doesn't stand a chance. you and roomba from irobot.

better together. [hip-hop music] ♪ - coal. it's america's hottest item at 2017. suck on it, fidget spinners. president djt is going all-in on coal by pulling out of the paris climate agreement like it's about to get pregnant and knocking down coal regulation like they're high fives from ted cruz. get off me, ted! but here's the thing, coal jobs have been on the decline since the 1920s, and no matter how much trump deregulates, they'll keep declining because of automation, natural gas, and whatever the hell elon musk is inventing, and people in coal country know this. - we've seen times come when coal jobs were gone,

but they came back strong, but this time it's different. - i wish they'd come back, but i don't think they're gonna be back like it was. - so if the glory days of coal are over, what happens now? are there other solutions? well, to find out, of course "the daily show" sent its only brown correspondent to the heart of coal country! i'm sure i'll fit right in. [country rock music] ♪ one government agency working to revitalize coal country is the appalachian regional commission, or "arc." - the commission's economic development philosophy is based on simple principles. new industry requires a healthy, skilled workforce. - one of the arc's many efforts is a software development training program called "teky." to make teky happen, the arc partnered with local firm interapt, so i met with kentucky native and interapt ceo ankur gopal.

wait, hold up. this dude's name is "ankur gopal?" you know this segment is called "brown in town?" - oh, i did-- i did not know that. - i'm supposed to be the one brown in town. - ah. - well, now we got to do the song again. [country rock music] ♪ so some people say these retraining programs that are funded by federal agencies don't work. - look, i wouldn't have done this if i didn't think this would work. we've seen people already move off of food stamps because of our program. we've seen people already improve their health and improve their lifestyle, so we're seeing this ripple effect occur by the work we're doing. - so my kentucky doppelganger believes in teky, but what about an actual trainee? meet alex hughs who used to install office equipment at coal mines. here was a guy with zero coding experience who now works full-time as a software developer at ankur's company. - coding was something that was always fascinated me.

the teky program took all the roadblocks out of the way and said, "okay, here's your opportunity to learn how to code," and we'd never had that before. even if all the coal jobs came back magically today, it still doesn't change that we were dependant on a single industry. i mean, you know, this is great, but it's not something that we can continue to depend on because we've now seen how quickly this can go away. - okay, so it sounds like arc initiatives like teky can help here, and we know president trump wants to help this region... - ah, coal country. what they've done-- we're gonna take care of a lot of years of horrible abuse, okay? we're gonna take-- and you can count on it. - so i'm sure trump also supports the arc's efforts. - among the things on the chopping block in trump's new budget, the appalachian regional commission, or "arc." - he wants to eliminate the arc which is vitally important to these small communities in appalachia. - oh, never mind. he doesn't give a [bleep], even though the arc has bipartisan support in congress,

and it's helped create or retain over 100,000 jobs in the last five years, including the one held by alex. how do you personally feel about the arc being on the chopping block? - i think it's a huge mistake. what ankur is doing and what interapt and arc are partnering to do is change me and people like me, so even if something were to happen and they leave, i still have the tools. - so trump says he cares about coal country but wants to cut a program that helps people who dream of pursuing something other than coal. it's almost as if my fellow "brown in town" knows what's better for the region than the orange man in the hardhat. ankur's the son of immigrants, and he insourced jobs, instead of outsourcing them. - that's right. - an american citizen providing jobs for americans in his community. - yeah. what we're doing here is very american. - so... you're saying brown people make america great? - of course they do. - here's hoping that the arc doesn't get cut.

not only is it helping people get jobs... - it's a really long time for a hug. - it's okay. i'm here now. - all right. - it's also helping brown people get some love. - yeah, this is getting weird. - now, why does facebook make those friendship moments without asking first if we still tight? i log on, and it says "you and jamia have been friends for eight years," and it starts showing pictures and [bleep], but i hate her now. i don't want to see that. - we believe that going forward there are opportunities not just for us to do better, but for us to work together to make sure we're all addressing this threat appropriately. - the bitch stole my man. - i apologize. i'm--i'm trying to answer the question. - you know what? it's not your fault. it's not your fault. google says i'm 5'8". i'm 5'9". what do you know about that? - we're also very concerned about this kind of deceptive and divisive content. - i don't need mother[bleep] out there thinking i'm short. - that seems reasonable. - yeah, it does. fix it.

- dulce sloan, everybody. we'll be right back. [hip-hop music] ♪ it's a good, good, good ♪ time to be alive. ♪ oh yeah. pizza with pepsi. delicious. ahhh.

♪ ladies and gentleman this is a robbery.

what are you doing after this? ♪ come to a complete stop. repeat as necessary. recalculating. ♪ ♪ free, free, set me free. in one mile, arrive at a place where you make your own lane. only to discover... ...it has traffic jams too. your all new compass at t-mobile when you holiday twogether, great things come in two's. like t-mobile and netflix. right now when you get an unlimited family plan, netflix is included. wow t-mobile covers your netflix subscription, so you can catch the hottest new movies and shows all year long on us. amazing and it's your last chance to buy any of these hot new samsung galaxy phones and get a 2nd one free.

that's one samsung for you and one to gift. just in time to finish off your list. t-mobile...holiday twogether.

[hip-hop music] ♪ - chicago has a crime problem... - chicago is like a war zone. - and our orange man in chief has the solution. - president trump threatened to send in the feds. - but there's another option for stopping violence in chicago: community engagement. that's the strategy of the grassroots program ceasefire. - the violence in chicago, it's not just a chicago police department problem. it's a community problem. everybody have to be involved. - on the south side, one shooting

always leads to another, so ceasefire tries to stop this retaliatory violence through mediation. - we could mediate anything, man. who sold some bad stuff to somebody or whatever, or who robbed somebody. - and it could be relationship beef. it could be a bad drug deal. like, let's say your girl gave your netflix password away. you pull up your netflix, and it asks you if you want to finish watching "narcos," but you was never watching "narcos," which means she gave your password to another dude. - we mediate all kind of conflicts, man. - i'm gonna need your number, man. but don't think this guy's some kumbaya self-help dude. - i got a lot of ex's in my life. i'm a ex-gang member, a ex-gang leader, ex-drug dealer. - that's the key to this work. violence interrupters come from the same neighborhoods as the guys they're trying to reach kind of like how mr. rogers stopped all those puppet shootings in the '70s. but even with all that experience, this ain't an easy job. - i've been shot at a couple of times mediating gang conflicts.

- hold on. you've been shot at? - yes, while doing this job. - dispatch, this is 212 victor. show me southbound-- - is that a real radio, roy? - huh? - that's a real radio? you talking to some real people? - i don't--i hope it's on. [gibberish] armed with only fliers and their mouths, ceasefire patrols the most dangerous neighborhoods of chicago like south shore, where last year there were over 1,100 violent crimes reported. guys from the neighborhood warned us that out here even talking can be dangerous. - it could be you don't know me, i don't know you, but it could be the way i say, "what's up?" - so then how the [bleep] should i say "hello" in chicago? - exactly. it could be, "oh, your bag's too little." - so you buy an ounce, you weigh it, and it ain't an ounce... - yep. - so some of your weed got arugula in it. - uh-huh. - i needed to see ceasefire in action, so i created a realistic scenario of a drug deal gone bad. pardon me, sir, i purchased some weed from you earlier, and it is of not the finest quality. perhaps a refund is in order?

- nah. - pretty please, sir. - for my safety and your safety, i'm gonna get you from that scenario. i'm gonna take you out to buy you something to eat first. - why, 'cause i got the munchies 'cause i just smoked? that's why you're gonna give me some food? - first of all, you are gonna withdraw 'cause it could escalate to something different. - there's a bigger picture to ceasefire than passing damn weed around here, man. there's people out here that go run and get guns because everybody else got one, but maybe if there was more opportunities and more jobs, 'cause everybody's just out here trying to survive. - and that's what people outside chicago aren't getting. there's a bigger picture to life on the south side that violence is just one part of, and shootings have gone down by an average of 43% where ceasefire is active. in one south side neighborhood, homicides went down from 49 per year to 34. - i lived on this block, grew up on this block, and saw everything on this block, and you know, y'all are cool. i see you all care a little bit. - we hear you, dog. - i don't know how we gonna cease the fire... - we gonna try. - you know, but we cool, man.

i appreciate y'all coming through. - what ceasefire does is not glamorous or high-tech or action packed, but this is what actual crime fighting looks like. how could we make people get that? the same way we make americans get everything: make it a basic cable show. - no tasers. no vest. no guns, and definitely no explosions, but they do have fliers, and their mouths. [dramatic music] - hey, bro, your life could be better. i need more fliers. ah! [screaming in slow-motion] hey. how you doing, man? i just want you to stop the violence. ♪ - the windy city... just got windier. ♪

mouthside chicago.

(train whistle blowing) i want a rabbit. what about you? well, i want an iphone. make sure you get that on verizon. it's the most awarded network ever. and if anyone asks, i want a bigger train next year. (vo) give the gift of iphone 8

and get one on us. listerine® total care strengthens teeth, after brushing, helps prevent cavities and restores tooth enamel. it's an easy way to give listerine® total care to the total family. listerine® total care. one bottle, six benefits. power to your mouth™. [hip-hop music] ♪ - new york's mayor and walking beanstalk bill de blasio is considering removing a bunch of statues,

including mr. 1492, but what do the people want? to gauge public opinion, i did the obvious thing, created a fake tour company with a catchy name to see which statues found the most offensive. our first stop was columbus circle. hey, guys, this is, of course, famous christopher columbus, not the director of "home alone," the famous explorer. without him a lot of european descendants like myself wouldn't be here. that being said, he also enslaved, annihilated, decimated an entire native people. now, who thinks that we should take down this statue of christopher columbus? raise your hands. sir, let's start with you. why should we take him down? - should take him down 'cause he's an idiot. okay. heading up central park west we realized statues aren't the only offensive structures in new york. who thinks that should be taken down? all: whoo! - but we were just getting started. further downtown problematic statues sprung up everywhere.

this next statue, everyone, is a no-brainer. he inspired millions through his message of love. obviously i'm talking about legendary actor sir ben kingsley. - that's gandhi. - that's--that's who? - gandhi. - i don't know who that is, so you're wrong, and i'm right. coming up on the left is a-- whoa, huh? that's [bleep] weird. as we sat drenched in cold rain, we realized that there was no good solution, so inspired by the high level of internet discussion, we came up with the next best thing. turn every statue into a comment board. now everyone will know that you think columbus was a guido, but at least there's one thing we can all agree on. i mean, why is it dogs? should be humans. humans take pictures. - michael kosta, everybody. we'll be right back. [hip-hop music] [man mimics tone and coughs]

captioning sponsored by comedy central (applause). >> jordan: welcome to the opposition. my guest tobt is astronaut and author scott kelly. i assume he's here to beg forgiveness for abandoning earth. (laughter) but let's get moving. you hear that? a christmas bell. and like that old war documentary says every time a bell rings an alt-righteous angel gets her wings. and today that angel is roy moore spokeswoman and master media manipulator janet porter. with the alabama senate special election less than a week away she has been winning interviews against the msm. lack how she owns cnn poppee harlow right from the start.