tv The Daily Show Comedy Central January 11, 2018 11:00pm-11:31pm PST
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i swear to god. all right, now, here's your worst employee of the week. good night.dy central from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! (cheers and applause). >> trevor: welcome to the dillee show, everybody. thank you so much. and thank you for tuning in. i'm trevor noah. our guest tonight, i could not be more excite, basketball legend kareem abdul-jabbar is joining us, everyone. (applause). >> trevor: let's get into the show. i'm not going to lie to you guys, sometimes trump just makes me tired. no, because today we were planning to talk about how south
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korea's president credited donald trump's aggressive rhetoric for getting north korea to the negotiating table, all right. that's what he came out and said. and i was going to be like wow, donald trump t looks like he did something right, you know. i swear that is what we were going to do and then he did something trump. >> "the washington post" reported minutes ago that today in the oval office president trump grew frustrated with lawmakers discussing immigration, when they floated restoring protections for immigrants from haiti, el salvadore and african . the post reports according to two people briefed the president asked quote, why are we having all these people from shithole countries come here, referring to african countries and haiti. the president then went on to talk about how they needed to bring in more people from places like norway. >> trevor: guys, i don't know how to break this to you, but i think the president might be racist. no, no wait, wait, here me out.
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i know i sound crazy. i know i sound crazy. you know what, personally as someone from south shithole, i'm offended, mr. president, okay, i'm offended. because, because not only does he think brown countries are shitholes, he thinks what, we're never going to know what he said? i mean don't get me wrong t might take a few weeks but as soon as the news donkey reaches our village, we'll be so mad, so mad! like what do you think? and you know, i know that everyone is focusing on him calling countries shitholes and whatever, i'm like whatever, you can say whatever you want, but what part put it over the line for me is norway. yeah, when he said where he wanted immigrants to come, from he didn't just name a white country. he named the whitest country. yeah, he didn't even go with like a more subtle country that might leave it up in the air, you know, like we need to let in more people from portugal.
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hmmmm. what does that mean. no, he goes for norway. people are superwhite, so white they wear moon screen, that is how white they are. (laughter) it is almost like yesterday when trump met with the prime minister of norway he was like what do you guys do with your black people. and she was like oh, we don't have any, he was like wow! (laughter) anyway, moving on. you know how the only thing getting you through the winter cold is that in six months you know that you will be back on a beautiful beach? well, good news. trump's ranking that too. >> president trump's executive order last week declared his plans to dramically expand offshore drilling for oil & gas. >> the largest single expansion of offshore drilling activity ever proposed. the five year plan announced by interior secretary ryan zinke opens up new areas for oil & gas exploration across the country. >> renewed offshore energy production will reduce the cost of energy, create countless new jobs and make america more secure and far more energy
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independent. >> trevor: he reads so well. (laughter) going to make billions of billions of acres for drilling oil. and knowing trump he will probably use this to compare himself to abe lincoln. and be like we both freed black things, for example. oh, that is an, i will take that for my jar, thank you very much, thank you very much. now you have to understand, this is a huge reversal of u.s. drilling policy. because america has been steadily moving to limit offshore oil drilling for the past 30 years. but trump is the only person who watched "deepwater horizon" and cheered for the oil. it he was like come on, slick, you can do t kill mark wahlberg, he bet gets more money than women, es an as asshole, this isn't even a democrat versus republican issue, no, if your state has sand castles than this move by the administration probably pissed you off. >> lawmakers on both coasts are
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vowing to fietd to protect the waters with thns is outrage us obviously. >> devastating to our nation's interest. >> just insane and grossly irresponsible to go chasing some last drop of oil, exposing our beautiful beaches. >> we don't want it. >> this just makes sense, coastal states dnts like drilling because pristine beaches bring in a lot of tourism cash, right. people spend their vacation money on house rentals or boat trips or summer foods that they pretend they can't get anywhere else. no way, snow cones? it's like grape juice but slower. and these coastal states, they know that when you drill near tourist beaches, this can happen. >> millions of gallons of toxic crude crush gushed into the water for 87 straight days. >> 1300 miles of shoreline were marred, thousands of birds, fish died. >> tar, possibly from the spill, has washed ashore in at least three counties to the south. >> overnight cleanup craws
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scooped up nearly 60 gallons of tar balls. >> trevor: tar balls. are you serious? why would anyone want to risk that? i mean i guess trump looks at that and he says i don't know, guys, i love bad beaches, that is my [bleep] problem. now unfortunately, unfortunately for sea gulls trump does have the authority to decide what offshore drilling to allow. and even though most states asked president and interior secretary zinke not to go forward with their drilling plans, they did because for them, this is not about favoritism for one state or another. it's about national security. energy independence, the economy. no state 3s exempt. >> the trump administration has exempted florida frts new proposal to open nearly all u.s. waters to offshore drilling. >> governor rick scott asked to meet with the interior secretary ryan zinke. >> and the result was quick. >> florida is obviously unique. for floridians we are not drilling off the coast of
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florida. >> trevor: wow. no drilling in florida because florida is unique? i mean there's a lot of reasons florida is unique, yeah. their state flower is met. their gators have guns. and it's the only state where you can see micky mouse, a stripper and your grandparents in the same day. (laughter) so yeah, they are unique. they are unique. but having beaches is not what makes florida unique. so if you are one of the other coastal states you have every right to be pissed off about florida getting special treatment. especially when you find out the real reason florida got this exemption is because there is a senate election there in the fall. governor rick scott, a republican, is probably going to run for the seat and coastal drilling is wildly unpopular there. yeah. so him getting florida off the drilling list is something he can use to help his popularity which he needs because votedders still remember how he spent a still remembhole movie trying tr
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rabbit. (laughter) now in case this part of the story doesn't make you mad enough, there might be another reason why florida is unique. one that both the democrats and republicans have noticed. >> mar-a-lago, no one wants to see a rig off the coast of mar-a-lago. >> why does florida get a waiver, was it because the president had mar-a-lago in florida. >> i mean you can't say i don't want to see an oil rig from mar-a-lago as i look out from the waters of palm beach but it is okay to lack at a oil little from hilton head or charleston south carolina. >> mar-a-lago because maintaining energy independence is the number one priority after maintaining the view from the winter white house. so instead of fighting trump, you know what, maybe we just play his game. i think every state in america just needs to build a tiny, shitty trump hotel because that way trump will never want to drill anywhere. it will be just like we can put
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daily show. when donald trump was first elected one of the biggest fears was that he would get everybody in to a war. like we didn't know if it would be with iran, or australia. but we all knew that it was coming. it turns out trump's first big war is with a book. >> president trump was venting again today, possibly taking a swipe at michael wolff's new book. this is what he had to say. >> our current libel laws are a sham. and a disgrace, and do not represent american values or american fairness. so we're going to stake a strong look at that we want fairness. you can't say things that are false, knowingly false. and be able to smile as money pours into your bank account. (laughter). >> trevor: seriously? say false things as money pours into your bank accounts?
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that's the story of donald trump's whole life. it was the motto of his fake university. but trump is going to have a problem making it harder for people to criticize him. because one of america's founding principles is freedom of speech it is the one thing the whole country believes in. or do they? hasan minhaj has more. >> you know, i thought my next on the record would be about this guy. >> colin kaepernick kneeling. >> get this son of a bitch off the field. >> but then i thought maybe it would be about this. >> very disturbing photo shoot. >> but then this happened. but then i thought wait a secretary it should about be this. >> we will open up the libel laws so when they. >> you are all talking about the same thing, free speech. the first amendment. but there's one thing america's startup dads didn't think of, what if speaking your truth meant saying stuff like this.
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>> go back to africa. >> or this. >> go to. >> so what is up, america. do you really love free speech or do you not? but should you? >> is this thing on? now usually we think of people on the right as the ones wanting to curtail our freedom of expression. players have the right for free speech off the field. >> frankly disgusting the way the press is able to write whatever they want to write. >> check your blood pressure because are you salty, bro. but with actual nazis marching in the streets like it is berlin, back in-- many are like hold my-- but which i mean [bleep] free speech. i don't like what you have to say. >> those on the left have no tolerance for diversity and opinion. >> the left? not my-- violent protests at uc berkeley, the campus lockdown as people rallied against the a paryngs of a controversial editor from breitbart. >> look at this place, look at it what caused all this. seriously.
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>> if doesn't matter we are learn by talking, we learn by listening. >> you tell them backpack guy. >> college campuses are supposed to be about free expression, and racist themed frat parties. accurate, but now college students have tried to stop far right people from just speaking. >> this is the one time where i'm totally cool with calling these kids snowflakes, especially you snowflake o'bryant. she later changed her name to rain drop o'bryant. climate change, brah. here's the problem. if we all start forbidding so called hate speech it turns the first amendment into a popularity contest like my high-school student council election. we never got root beer in the water fountain, rodrigo, empty promises, rodrigo. the only people who will get to talk are the ones who agree with the people who get to say what hate speech even is, but who is that people? this year maybe it's your side, next year maybe republican legislatedders saying black lives matter is the same as white supremacists. so what do we want, if we don't want to limit free speech but still got those pesky nazis
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marching in the street what do we want to do let's ask a country known for its sense of humor. germannee, you know how ger plans are hilarious. >> germany most involuntary walk a than, nazis against nazi campaign officially gets under way. >> in is march of dimes for racists. instead of protesting, local bigs an residents sponsored the nazis. they put up giant pink banners welcoming them to the nazis against nazis walkathon and they donated cash so that the longer the nazis walked, the more money went to an anti-nazi program. so maybe that is the key. these guys are real life trolls and if you want to get rid of trolls you have to outtroll them. so let's learn from the germannian, instead of stopping our shitthead o poants from speaking use some idea logical judo. start your own tiki torch company and secretary reit lefilled them up with plos quito fore moan, instead of punching richard spendsner the head dump a bucket of glitter on him because nothing gets glitter
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out. make confederate memorials the hot new destination for gay weddings, that floral arch is straight fire. as martin luther king, jr. once said, if you can't beat them, troll them. think about t you guys. really think about it. >> we we have back paj soft, flushy and made with my real hair, lunchtime i found eye nice hole on the meum body, i will tell you about it on the next hasan the record. >> trevor: hasan minhaj, everybody. we'll be right back. ♪ the stacker from taco bell is a beefy cheesy masterpiece. and now it's paired with a collection of taco bell classics. the new $5 stacker box, a deliciously curated meal from taco bell. [sfx: bong]
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welcome to the show. >> thank you very much, great reception. >> trevor: i feel like i should stand for the interview and we would be the same height. (laughter) you are such a renaissance man, author, hall of famer, athlete, presidential medal of freedom winner. it's almost like nba all-time leading scorer is number six on your resume. you have lived quite an accomplished life. are you just trying to win linkedin, is that what you are doing? >> no, you know, i'm just, i go through life, i try to find interesting and meaningful things to do. you know, you go through your whole life and you have a career that is over when are you 42. i'm 70 now. what do you do with the rest of your life, so i'm glad i figured out how to write a few books and say a few things that people might want to hear and something that we could share. >> everyone knows you from the world of sports but a lot of people don't know what it was
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like to be a sportsman during your time. you talk in the become about having to change or choosing to change your name to kareem abdul jabar,-- jab bar, why was that important during the time that you did it. >> it was very important because of black americans had a whole situation imposed upon them. people were brought here in africa, their names were changed and they were forced into some very terrible, terrible deprived circumstances. slavery was not a great experience. and we came out of it very damaged. and in order to repair, we have to reassert our identities. so the fact that i believed in christianity and monotheism my whole life, i decided i wanted to change my name to something that had to do with the type of monotheism that they practiced in africa to some degree and i became interested in islam and became muslim.
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but that was my thought process. it wasn't me taking a stand against america but it was a position of for myself, for my own identity that i wanted to assume, not something that was imposed on me. >> trevor: it's interesting to that you say not something against america but something for yourself. because it feels like that is a conversation that we're experiencing once again, with colin kaepernick. >> the same conversation. >> trevor: it is an athlete in the spotlight saying this is something that i am trying to say for myself and for my people and what we are experiencing. and people are hearing it as no, this is against america. when you said these things and when you stood up for black americans, was it similar to what people say today about nfl athletes taking the knee? >> it was the same exact thing. they wanted to change the subject because they didn't like to talk about the fact that too many black americans end up dead for no good reason at the hands of police. >> trevor: right. >> most people don't want to talk about that. that is a very intense and
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difficult problem to solve. but it is something we have to solve. and we've got to keep fighting until people understand that and help us change it in a positive way. >> trevor: and you truly are trying to do it in a positive way. you inspire people, you speak to them, you write kol ims about this, there are still people opposed to some of the things that you say. have you found that there has been a change? have you found a way to break through to people in the time that -- i mean because you have been doing this for a long time. your career ended and you go where do you go from there. have you found any breakthrough in anyway. >> i found a lot of break thrus. look at president obama could not have been elected without that type of break through. >> right. >> without people being able to see him for his character and his positive attributes. and not being upset about the color of his skin or that his ancest ree goes back to africa, that should not be an issue. it should be the content of his character and what he wants to
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do for america. so you know, we get that mentality and that idea out to people, maybe they can see that black americans are actually their fellow citizens and we want the same thing that they want. >> there is one white american who may struggle with some of these concepts. and it is interesting because you wrote an op ed in and around donald trump comparing him to bernie sanders. explaining the differences and trying to show how different their worldviews were. and the president then wrote you a personal letter on your own. i think we have a picture here, what he wrote. >> yes, there it is. >> trevor: it reads deer kareem, now i know why the press always treated you so badly. they couldn't stand you. the fact is that you don't have a clue about life and what has to be done to make america great again. best wishes, donald trump. what do you do with a personal note like that from the
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president? do you frame it or do you burn it? >> actually, that, when i got that i crumpled it up in a ball and i sky hooked it into a wastebasket. (applause) it's very difficult dealing with somebody that you shouldn't have to take seriously but unfortunately-- . >> trevor: right. >> we're stuck, so here we are. >> trevor: i'm going to go out on a limb and say i think the president is wrong. i think you will make a good man of your self. >> well, thank you. >> trevor: i think you have a bright future ahead of you. thank you for being on the show. becoming kareem, is available now. kareem abdul-jabbar, everybody. kareem abdul-jabbar, everybody. we'll be right back. do you think that tobacco companies targeted people kareem abdul-jabbar, everybody. we'll be right back. with mental health issues? they go after people with mental illness. people with depression. people with anxiety. big tobacco went as far as giving free cigarettes
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to psychiatric facilities. it's despicable. the consequences of this targeting are horrific. people with mental health or substance abuse issues account for 40% of the cigarettes smoked in the united states. it's sick. it's twisted... know the truth. spread the truth. finish it. introducing taco bell's latest work of art the dollar stacker. lavish layers of seasoned beef and melty cheese another $1 masterpiece only at taco bell. ♪ ♪ you are a city city wall, city wall ♪ ♪ ♪ she could be dancing down a hall, dancing down a hall ♪ ♪ we're turning heads, we're turning heads, ♪ ♪ we're turning heads, oh yeah and nothing can stop us now ♪
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i definitely feel like i'm in a dependable vehicle right now. woman 2: i want a chevy now. woman 3: i know! (crunch) (whack) (gasp) (elephant trumpeting) ( ♪ ) hello. (multiple whacks) really, dan? hi, guys. hey, dan. hi. what's up, dan? ooh, doritos... (whack, crash) (crunch) (elephant trumpeting) are we gonna talk about this? nope. is. >> trevor: that's our show for ton, stay tuned, the opposition with jordan clep certificate up
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next. and your moment of zen. >> you hesitated it to use that word, i hesitated to use it myself, as a a asshole, shithole is the word "the washington post" is et coulding the president as saying. >> jordan: come here, shhh. please, we haven't even started yet. i'm going to give it to you: pri is under fire for speaking the truth on immigration. in a meeting with lawmakers today, trump reportedly said of african countries and haiti, "why are we having all these people supershithole countries come here? now, that's how you speak truth to powerlessness! trump went on to say we should welcome more immigrants from places like norway. now, i know what you're thinking: what do norwegians have that haitians and africans don't? it's simple. they're all white... knuckle enthusiasts about making america great again. strap in
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