good night, jim. good night, michael. where you going? i don't know. grab a drink, i think. with us? i, um, i probably should have told you, i don't need a ride now 'cause jim can take me home after. so you're off the hook. okay, great, off the hook. excellent. okay, cool. (jim) i got this. have fun. don't drink and drive. take it easy. have a good night. you too. have a good night! you got that? oh, yeah. you sold a lot, so it's lighter. i bet. well, here... [clears throat loudly] [engine starts] all right, now, i'm gonna warn you. don't freak out, okay? why? this is a really nice car. in case you haven't noticed, this is a corolla, okay? it's a very nice car. so you're not gonna freak out? do i have a special someone? uh, well, yeah, of course. a bunch of 'em. my employees. if i had to choose between a one-night-stand

with some stupid cow i pick up at a bar and these people, i'd pick them every time. because with them, it is an every day stand. and i still know their names in the morning. >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: thank you so much, everybody! and welcome to "the daily show"! thank you for tuning in! i'm trevor noah. our guest tonight singer and actor ricky martin is here! ( cheers and applause ) but first, but first, you guys remember how, during the presidential campaign, donald

trump's personal doctor and second hand speedboat salesman declared trump would be the healthiest individual ever elected president? you guys remember that? and then we all laughed so hard because in 2015 health it individual and best president both sounded incredible ways to describe donald trump? ( laughter ) he's had his first official examination by the navy doctor and we owe speedboat abapology. >> his health is excellent. his physical exam is very good. he's very healthy. uncorrected vision is 20/30, he can drive without glasses. i had absolutely no kerns about his cognitive ability. the president is mentally very sharp, very intact. there's no indication whatsoever he has any cognitive issues. the dental exam, he has healthy teeth and gums. no other dental findings. he has no partial or dentures of

any kind. >> trevor: no heart problems, no dementia, no dentures? but did you test for racism? ( laughter ) ( applause ) so it turns out, according to the official white house doctor, trump is completely sane, which makes me more worried because that means he's doing all of this shit on purpose? you covfefe in your normal mind? ( laughter ) to ask the nonexperts, the only thing that looks healthy about donald trump is he's shaped like a food pyramid. to say his health is excellent is like medicine is gas lighting us now. how is this possible? >> explain how a guy who eats mcdonald's and kfc and all those diet cokes and never exercises is in as great shape as he's in? >> genetics. i told the president if p he had a healthier diet over the last

20 years he might live to be 200 years old. >> trevor: my god! if you think trump is racist at 71, imagine how racist he'll be when he's 200! ( laughter ) to be honest, i'm not really surprised. donald trump has dictator blood. we're used to this in africa and other places in the world, castro, m mogabi, the queen -- after the apocalypse, he will be the only one around giving speeches to cockroaches. folks! we're going to build a roach motel! who's going to pay for it? mosquitoes! ( laughter ) so all done, trump, you're healthy, we owe you an apology. but as pleased as we are to hear there is no threat we're losing donald trump anytime soon, today is unfortunately a sad day because today we mourn the departure of another politician, new jersey governor chris christie. >> chris christie leaves office today and becomes a private citizen for the first time in

eight years, and he does so with low approval numbers, but in his final state of the state address last week, he says he leaves as a happier man than when he walked into the office eight years ago. >> trevor: i don't know how chris christie can be happy when he's leaving office with the lowest approval rating in new jersey history, 18%. being that unpopular in 2018 and not having a sexual assault allegation takes talent. ( laughter ) but some people may not know that chris christie's reputation wasn't always the turd on the bottom of new jersey's shoe. so tonight we look back at governor christie's incredible rise and fall. ( cheers and applause ) when chris christie first took office in 2009, his straight talk approach was a breath of fresh air. something new jersey hadn't had in decades. throughout his first term in office christie became extremely popular in new jersey,

especially among key demographics like guys who go ay! oh! and women who go, get out of here, anthony! you ruined my daughter's sweet 16! ( laughter ) he got very popular. >> he's a roizing star in the world of politics. >> it's people who raise their voices and yell and scream like you that are dividing this country. we're here to bring this country together not divide it. >> superstorm sandy left much to have the garden state devastated but is boosting the popularity of new jersey governor chris christie. >> 94% approve of governor christie's handling of hurricane sandy recovery efforts. >> 74% approval rating in the bluest of blue states. the highest approval rating recorded for a new jersey governor. >> a landslide reelection victory. is he now the man to beat for the republican presidential nomination? >> trevor: wow, chris christie was so popular, people thought he could one day be president, and people only say that about

the top governors -- and first-term senators -- and tv stars -- and sports owners -- and relatives of presidents -- and beyonce. ( laughter ) okay. yeah, i'm saying to beyonce, i am -- ( applause ) but, alas, despite all his success, chris christie had the fatal flaw of a tragic character. he was an asshole. ( laughter ) don't get me wrong, in new jersey, you can be an asshole. i mean, asshole is their state bird. ( laughter ) but christie was an asshole about the one thing no one in jersey is willing to tolerate, traffic. >> bridge gate. this, of course, is the political scandal surrounding the office of governor chris christie over the shutdown of lanes to the george washington bridge. this came as apparent political payback against a mayor who would not endorse it. >> i am embarrassed and humiliated by the conduct of

some of the people on my team. >> trevor: that seemed like an apology until it got to the end. i'm so ashamed -- of what these dip shits have done. ( laughter ) the lesson we all learned from bridge gate was you can't get back at somebody by pissing off everybody else. that's going to backfire. it's like getting revenge on a mean flight attendant by releasing a bunch of bees in the plane. you guys are with me, right? i requested vegan! ( laughter ) so after bridge gate, christie's approval ratings plummeted from the '70s to the mid 40s, but that's a level you can recover from. so chris christie had two choices, buckle down and work hard for the great state of new jersey or ditch those spray tans and go tore the white house so he chose option two and it was all downhill from there. >> governor christie is getting grilled about prioritizing the campaign trail over his snowy and flooded state. >> the governor spent all or

part of 261 days out of the state last year. >> right after dropping his own presidential bid, christie endorsed trump. >> seven papers in new jersey have called on christie to resign. >> christie's approval rating stands now at only 21%. >> 18% now tied for second worst in recent history. >> trevor: the second worst approval rating. poor chris christie! you know what his problem was? in 2012, he didn't run for president when he should have and then, in 2016, he ran when he shouldn't have run. his timing was off. and in life, typing is everything. timing is what separates a normal person from a pedophile. ( laughter ) ( audience reacts ) and here's what makes chris christie a legend -- having hit such a low point, a more ordinary governor would try to raise his popularity, but christie is a special person. he decided if he was going to be the worst, he would be the best

worst. >> first there was bridge gate and now beach gate. christie's beach outing over the fourth of july holiday caused a national scandal because this particular beach was closed to the general public due to a state government shutdown. >> the garden state first family allowed to use the closed beach, closed to many new jersey president. >> i don't want apologize for it or back away from it and i thik my poll numbers show i don't care about political optics. >> trevor: say what you want about chris christie he went down in style. read my lips! this beach is shut down! any questions? i'll be at the beach. to rub it in, he build a special sand castle for everyone. ( laughter ) which is probably why on this last day of his term the people of new jersey told him how they felt. >> when asked about the end of christie's term, only 5% said they will miss the republican governor. >> trevor: just 5% will miss him. chris christie, my friend, now that you're not governor, are

you sure that you want to stay in a state that hates you that much? like, if i were you, i would just leave, and here's the good news -- if you get out now, you can miss all that bridge traffic. we'll be right back ( cheers and applause ) come on in. pull up a chair. gather 'round. so many ways to invite people to come together. or you could just put out the sabra hummus and let the simple, fresh ingredients do the talking. sabra. welcome to the unofficial meal.

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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." the future, it's coming fast and it's here now, which means ronny chieng is back with another installment of today's future now. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: thanks. >> thanks, trevor. last week was a consumer tech show in las vegas. not everything needs a computer chip! hear that fit bit? waiting for me to lose some weight? it's by taking you off, damn it you judgmental bastard! ( laughter ) the big theme of this year's was laysies, let a robot do it. >> self-driving cars were big players at the the electronics show. electronic biten sees the future

as a movie theater on wheels. >> more voice control coming to cars as auto makers enhance self-driving features and turn the dashboard into a movie screen. >> don't need movies on the dashboard. driverless cars is new technology. if something goes wrong i don't want the last thing i see to be 50 shades darker because that's the only movie i will be watching in a driverless car, it's romantic and my hands are free. ( cheers and applause ) but while some cars are encouraging me to zone out, other cars are demanding that i focus harder? >> nissan is working on what it calls brain-to-vehicle technology which reads your brain waives to help control the car. >> this is a piece you put on your head. it has sensor probes underneath it and when you don this, it will connect to a future nissan vehicle to wirelessly communicate what i'm thinking to the vehicle -- >> trevor: who wants a mind-reading car?

you know what's going on in here, right? i'm going for grocery and instead end up at my ex-girlfriend's house. i mean, i do that anyway but i want it to be my choice. ( laughter ) what is wrong with driving a car with your hands and you your eyeballs? these people think we can't take a dump without a.i. >> thanks to the internet, this is what you can do. alexa, ask koehler to flush the toilet. >> okay. >> koehler connects to the internet and you can command it to help lift the seat, heat up and other essential tasks but it will cost you. it runs $5,625 and up. >> $5,000 for lex is a to flush my toilet? listen, exget a guy off craigslist to do that for me and he'll pay me. also, i don't want my toilet

connected to amazon, they're going to start showing me targeted ads for prudence. ( laughter ) these tech companies are obsessed with what's going on below my waist. >> this is smart underwear. it can read your body temperature, heart rate, calories, steps, inside your underwear. >> trevor: a supercomputer in my crotch is a horrible idea -- except when you're not performing this bed, then it's a great excuse. sorry, baby -- i got hacked. them russians! ( cheers and applause ) i know, those russians! these russians are trying to influence my erection! ( laughter ) and the stupid ass smart devices just keep coming. >> you don't have to carry this carry-on luggage, when paired with a high-tech wrist band, it follows you using sensors and cameras. >> it's smart enough to use facial recognition so it

shouldn't start following someone else. >> four-wheel drive with a max speed of 7 miles an hour. >> trevor: why are you giving my luggage a mind of its own? if it doesn't show up, i won't know if the airline lost it or it pulled the "12years a slave" on me. if i want something small to follow me through the airport and carry all my crap, i'll have kids. that's what those things are for. ( laughter ) to these geniuses at c.e.s. have figured out everything. only one thing can go wrong. >> i'm here at the consumers electronics show at the las vegas center and about 12 minutes ago all the power went out in the central hall and the south hall entirely. >> all the power went out at c.e.s.? that's like if you were at an amish convention and all the power went on. one power surge, my stuff is useless, i have to flush my own toilet, carry my own luggage, measure my erection the old

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and so would everyone else. robitussin delivers fast, powerful relief to fight your cough in 12 hour shifts. robitussin 12 hour cough relief, because it's never just a cough. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show"! my guest tonight is an international superstar who is starring in the new fx series "the assassination of ginanni versace: american crime story." please welcome ricky martin! ( cheers and applause ) >> what's up?! yeah! ( cheers and applause ) thank you! ( cheers and applause )

puerto ricans here! >> trevor: you have fans in the house. >> everyone's from puerto rico. so nice. >> trevor: welcome to the show. >> thank you for having me. >> trevor: so good to have you. >> so cool. >> trevor: you're performing all over the world. you're back in vegas now? >> it's busy. going back to vegas for my second season for my residency. >> trevor: exciting. >> start in march, really exciting. >> trevor: how many shows for your residency? >> march until july. you do ten shows, do a break and another ten and take a break. it's not like broadway. >> trevor: that's not insane at all, ten shows. ( laughter ) >> but we take a break. i'm just really excited, man. vegas has been amazing for me. i'm doing gianni versace the series. my family's doing amazing. we're traveling a lot. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: let's talk about this series. it's a story a lot of people have been waiting for. with the story of o.j., people

felt it was a story that didn't just go into a murder but a tale that talked about race. the story of gianni versace is one that cannot be separated from the story on how people treat the lgbtq community. >> this is true. >> trevor: was this important for you to be a part of the story? >> this is one of the reasons i said yes i need to be part of this. there's a lot of injust in the gianni versace story, and when ryan murphy called me and told me everything we were going to be talking about, i said, yes, definitely, i want to be here, but, of course, i want to be part you ever show. penelope cruz, edgar rarmirez, working with people i love and the story is fascinating. it's not how he died, it's why he died. why did we allow that to happen? i mean, the killer, he was on the list of most wanted by the f.b.i. he was living in miami, he was not hiding, and they never got him. >> trevor: when you look at

gianni versace's life, you look at someone who is so powerful and so revered and yet, at the same time, a human being who struggled to come out. >> yes. >> trevor: now, there is often a misconception in that coming out is easy for anyone. people go, come out, it's easy. it's always easier than it seems. is this part of a story that related to you as ricky martin? >> my friend, you have no idea. it took me a while. i was surrounded by friends who said don't come out, that will be the end of your career. people who love me, people who knew me well and are victim of homophobia. i grew up in a culture telling me my feelings were horrible and evil. >> trevor: right. >> if you add to that the fact i was a heart throb, a sex symbol. >> trevor: oh, yeah, that's true. ( cheers and applause ) >> everybody was telling me, it's going to be the end of your

career. >> trevor: right. >> and it was extremely painful to me until i said i can't take it anymore. it's not about me or what's happening outside. it's what i need in order for me to be happy. then i had my kids and i said i have to come out. i'm not going to lie to these beautiful kids. that's not the point. life works in cycles. it's very interesting. look what i'm doing today. i'm talking on people being hurt through acting. that's an amazing story. >> trevor: you said you went into something that was about yourself and became about other people which is sort of the story of your life because in many ways puerto rico has been you going into a story of yourself. >> yeah is that and now you look at what happened to the island after the disaster, and am i correct in saying you have helped raise over $5 million? >> and we are still raising ( cheers and applause ) yeah.

trevor, it's been more than three months and there are still 14000000 people in puerto rico living out electricity or running water. kids aren't going to school because there is no le electricy or water with school. me and my alliance working with habitat for humanity, i want to start building homes. that's the next phase. my foundation and hundreds of men and women volunteering since day one to make puerto rico a better place, something i will always be so thankful. but more thankful i am to every one of you that went ant donated $5 here, $10 there, $15 here. and of course big corporations as well but at the end of the day it was people from all over the world hoping for the best from puerto rico. >> trevor: if people want to donate, help out the foundation, pre-k o what can they do? >> you caring.com/ricky martin. you can donate $1 to $10,000, whatever you want. >> trevor: we can go to ricky martin foundation and check out

the link. >> thank you, man. >> trevor: "the assassination of gianni versace: american crime story," 17th of january on fx. ricky martin, everybody! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) ♪