♪ da na na na na ♪ da na na na na yeah! ♪ da na na na na ♪ da na na na na [whistling] i thought i'd come in casual today. man, i'm hungry. anyone else feel like a beet? where did you get those? what, these? bernard farms. best beets in the state. i see what you are doing. but i do not know where you are going with this. well, you will. as soon as you visit my new beet farm. captioning by dave l at captionmax www.captionmax.com ow. you're supposed to cook these, aren't you? [scoffs] cornell. >> tbeb 8th, 2018, from comedy central's world nuses headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah.

(cheers and applause). >> trevor: welcome, everybody, welcome. thank you for tuning in. welcome to the daily show. i am trevor noah. thank you so much, take a seat, wow, you are amazing, teak a seat, take a seat, tack a seat. tonight's guest producer dj steve aoki is joining us, everybody. but first, but first breaking news about the future of human communication. >> "u.s.a. today" says brace your phones, 157 new emojis are coming this year. the new emojis include new hair styles for men and women. there are also new foods including a bagel, cupcake, lettuce and salt. they already added the bacon last time around and new animals like a hypo, kangaroo, llama and peacock.

there will also be a lobster emoji. >> trevor: finally! finally. what is all these new emojis can i text the story that time the lobster gave me a terrible hair quut, yes. this is fun. mi always excited when we get new emojis but i will say this, 157 new emojis? like how long is it going to take to scroll through all those screens now? like i'm just like doing all of this just to find the eggplant, you know? there by the time i find it whole foods will be out of eggplant, come on, people. text them to give me eggplant. i'm just saying at some point you have to make room. you get rid of the old ones to get to the new ones quicker. i think there are plenty of emojis that can go, like the number emojis, those are use its, we have numbers, just type the number. and the fax machine emoji, why are you faxing me emojis? if you are old enough to remember a fax machine you probably not us emojis get the fax out of here, man, and the bulgarian flag, who uses that,

just use the hungarian flag, no one will nghts, just get rid of the hungarian flag as well, all of them, gone. and most important, most important, just get rid of that moon with the creepy face, i'm sorry what is that, like tell me that doesn't make you uncomfortable. like do it now with my face, if i did that to you now, if i did the same thing, get in, make like a moon. yeah, you like that? you are not going to sleep after, this you realize that. that is kreapy, man, look at that, what if i was outside your winnow right now. okay, now i'm going to have nightmares, zoom out, zoom out. now look, originally i had planned to do today's entire show on emojis because as a millenial i think this is i hashtag major issue. but we can't, because there is so much news going on today, maybe even too much news. but too much news is just the

right amount of news for a segment called, ain't nobody got time for that. (applause) first up the rising star in the gop whose currently running for congress in illinois. well, not running so much as goose-stepping. >> do you call yourself a nazi. >> i did have-- i don't call myself a nazi. i call myself an american patriot and statesman. >> let me give our viewers some details about this. just soo they can decide for themselves you have been part of anti-semitic groups since 1970s, you go to neo-nazi rallies we have pictures of you there. you were part of the white preem's party. you dressed in nazi garb and you sell brait hitler's birthday. you are a nazi. (applause). >> trevor: oh man, i love that, she read that off like she was announcing his 23 and me results. you are a nazi. (laughter) like that could have been a

scene out of the shortest detective story ever. you know. sher lock holmes and the obvious nazi. like someone in this room is a nazi. oh, who could it be, sher lock? it is you. oh, it's always me, mein bad. now fortunately this guy las no chance of winning his heavily democratic district so we don't have to worry about laiferg a white supremacist in the government because that would suck. so we don't have to worry about this guy. then we don't have time to worry about him anyway because there is big news from capitol hill. the government is making money moves. >> i'm pleased to announce that we have reached a two year budget deal. >> the senate deal would add hundreds of billions of dollars in military and domestic spending. it also funds disaster relief for areas devastated by last year's hurricanes and wildfires and extensed the children's health insurance program. >> this bill is the product of extensive negotiations. (laughter). >> trevor: the way mitch mcconnell giggled made it

sound like something romantic happened, we've had extensive negotiations. it was very push and pull, get it? get it. i'm talking about banking, get it? but this is, this is big news. democrat chuck and republican mitch have made an agreement to keep the government open. and it's so cute to see them getting along, you know? it's like one of those videos where a goat and a chicken become friends. although in this case i get it's like geppeto and your grandma's oldest pair of panties. you know what is great about that joke is you don't know who is who. so senate leaders have reached a deal but the house isn't happy with it. >> there is bipartisan trouble in the house where democrats want a commitment for a vote to protect the undocumented immigrants without came to the u.s. as children. the how's top democrat nancy pell osi delivering her message in a marathon 8 hour floor speech. >> our dreamers hang in limbo

with a cold cloud of fear and uncertainty above them. >> gop fiscal hawks are outraged that the senate deal will balloon the deficit. >> this spending bill is a debt-junkie's dream. >> trevor: damn, debt junkie, that say new one. how does that even work. hey, man, can i borrow $35 trillion, man? i will suck your deficit, baby. but at least that republican was being consistent. unlike most of his party. because under president obama republicans spent eight years railing against deficit spending at a time when it could have helped the economy a lot more. but now that he they control uncle sam's man purse, all of a sudden they don't seem to irka. they are spending money like a rapper who won powerball. and by the way, nancy pellsoy-- pelosi, can you give it up, eight hour speech? eight hour speech. (applause) and, and she was wearing heels, eight hours in heels.

(applause) that is like binge watching the whole first season of the wire on your tippy toes, like when is omar coming! like there is so much we could unpack from nancy pelosi's speech but the truth is we don't have the time. because while congress is talking, the russians are doing. >> a senior intelligence official with direct knowledge of the top secret report says several states have their voting registration system successfully compromised by the russian government. >> i can't talk about classified information publicly. we saw targeting of 21 states and an exceptionally small number, about 21 were actually successfully penetrated. >> trevor: wait, wait, did she just say yes, the russians hacked america's voting roles but in an exceptionally small number of states. she delivered that line like it was supposed to sound comforting. like a doctor saying good news, brian, you have an exceptionally small number of tumors in your

brain, oh good, wait, what? like the only thing that should concern you more than the russian successfully hacking voter rolls is the lack of concern from secretary of state rex tillerson. >> is the u.s. better prepared this time around since 2016. >> i don't know if i would say we're better prepared because the russians will adapt as well. if it is their intention to interfere, they're going to find ways to do that. and we can take steps, we can take but this is something that once they decide they're going to do it it is very difficult to preevment it. -- preem it. >> it is so weird to hear such a bad ass voice say such a wimpy thing. like go ahead, punk. [bleep] my wife. nothing can i do about it. like i'm sorry, this his response is mind bog elling. there is a good chance the russians will interfere in america's upcoming elections and the secretary of state is like don't hate the player. i pleen what are you going to

do. it's mind boggling. look, maybe trump administration isn't addressing russia more forcefully because they're protecting the president's ego which is more unstable than the back of his hair. we don't know. or, or maybe they just don't have time to deal with russia. and frankly neither do we. because today the thing we've got to talk about is this. >> white house staff secretary rob porter resigned today after his two-ex-wifes came forward to the daily mail website with disturbing allegations of verbal and physical abuse. >>-- shared photos with the internet website showing what her face looked like after she allegedly punched her while on vacation. >> we learned that john kelly knew about these allegations for months. and apparently did nothing about them. >> trevor: every time i think i've reached the highest level

of disguest-- disgust with this administration i'm right but then they invent another level. cuz i mean like i don't know, i missed the days when white house staffers got fired for fun stuff, spicey korcht talker the mooch couldn't shut up, steve bannon couldn't shower. but i'm sorry, this story hit me hard because not only did the white house have a domestic abuser in its midst, a lot of the people there, especially chief of staff, an alleged adult in the room, john kelly just ignored it for months. and with the job porter had, there is no reason that they couldn't get somebody else. >> the role of staff secretary is one of the most important jobs in the white house. 4e oversee every piece of paper that lands on the president's desk from articles to classified briefing material. >> trevor: you oversee every piece of paper that lands on trump's desk? you mean this desk? oh. tough job.

trump's desk is balder than his head, people. i'm never going get over that, i will just keep on showing it to you. like what happened there. what was that? it was like an alien when the thing does that thing. like i'm sorry, man, if your job is to bring reading materials to a guy without doesn't read, then that's not much of a job. yeah it's like being kevin spacey's agent, yep, still no calls, nothing. >> yep, honestly it seems like every day now someone else is leaving the trump administration, they either mistreated women or they were too racist or too crazy or just completely unqualified. fortunately there is one job in government where none of that seems to matter, we'll be right back.

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>> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. it is february, it is february which is black history month. and we're celebrating all month with roy wood, jr. honoring the unsung heroes of black history in c-p time. >> welcome to c-p time. the only show that is for the culture. today we look back at legendary black politicians. john lewis, shirley chisolm,

barack obama, just a few of the icons we won't be talking about today. instead we look at those whose achievements are a little less appreciated by history. let's start with presidential candidate herrmann cain, a businessman with a colorful personality and zero knowledge of world affairs. >> when they asked me who the president of uzbeki beckistan stan, i don't know do you know. >> and trying to get collected i will speaking gibberish. >> in fact, if not for herrmann cain, black men wouldn't be able to get on tv today wearing a cowboy hat while talking out the side of thaifer face. >> get a pitchfork and torch time in america. >> let's turn our attention to congressman robert smalls, a civil war hero who escaped slavery by stealing a confederate ship. some say that quawl him as being

ksh-- qualified him as being off the chain. moving on. turn our attention to alan keyes, another republican and legendary politician. keyes ran for national office in 1988, 92y, '96, 2,000, 2004 and 2008. all he do is louis. >> like-- is lose, the brother had determine nation. i would be erm bar rased if i lost six national elections. i'm embarrassed just walking through joann fabric, i go at night. and finally no discussion on black politicians would be complete without marion barrie. barrie was elected mayor of washington d.c. in 1979. was he a good mayor, was he a bad mayor, nobody would ever truly know. all we do remember is that the man smoked the crack. that's right. in 1990 mayor barrie was arrested in a sting operation and caught on video smoking

crack cocaine. he said he did drugs offer the street. it is our own damn fault for asking him how. the city fore gave him and he was releched with approval ratings as high as he was. the country was shocked. especially alan keyes. he was all ang reesm he was like what the [bleep] do i have to do to get elected. he's smoking crack over there. then he went on to have -- but if voters don't have a problem with you smoking crack, you basically have full immunity. that's why when i started this job, i showed up two weeks late, now nobody cares that i walk around the office in a night gown. they admire the handi work. i am roy wood, jr. this has been c-p time. and remember, before the culture, check out my incity page purchase your civil rights night gown, see you next time.

(applause). >> trevor: roy wood, jr., everyone, we'll be right back.

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(applause). >> trevor: welcome back. our guest tonight is a grammy nominated producer and dj whose currently on tour for his latest album kolony. please welcome steve aoki. (applause) welcome to the show. >> i'm happy to be here. >> trevor: so good to have you here. i see you everywhere in the world traveling all the time. is it true that you are considered probably one of the most traveled musicians in the world? >> i definitely feel that way. i mean i literally just landed from germany and i have only been here a couple of hours and it is how it is. every day i'm flying off somewhere else. >> in germany you also weren't just flying, you went to germany to do a zero graferrity-- set. >> exactly. first ever dj set in zero

gravity. >> trevor: why? >> mind bog elling. why not, why not. >> trevor: explain that. how are you in zero gravity. >> you know those planes that do this. >> trevor:. >>. >> and then yeah, you have-- so you float. >> you float in the air and the whole time there is a full on party in the airplane, i'm djing. i got dj rig up there. and there is like 50 lucky people, i don't know if they are lucky but 50 people stuck in there with me. and he just raged. >> trevor: but how do you dance when you are floating, like how do you ground yourself or you just do it in the air. i have never danced in the air before, i don't foa. >> you get 22 seconds to float. and then all of a sudden boom, i remember i was sitting on the ceiling thinking i was on the floor and then you going to drop and all of a sudden the gravity hits me and i'm like falling through the plane and i like, you know, i ducked and it is

padded everywhere. and i got back up and the next song, we're about to gup. and mixing the next song, get down, lay down and then they're like, injection time and all of a sudden i start floating. >> trevor: this is how every single day should be in our lives. just like, that sounds amazing. you don't just dj in zero graift. you are embarking on a tour right now. you are really go on extensive tours, 250 dates. >> yeah, about 250 shows around the world. but-- . >> trevor: how do you get this big. i want to know that. >> the music itself is international. so people are just humming to the beated. i could be playing in romania, in japan n australia. it doesn't matter if it's spoke then english or if it is not. >> trevor: 23 most people were dj's as successful as steve a aoki they would live in vegas, party all day, ride in zero

gravity and not care about anybody else but you do a lot for other people, i was surprised to find that out about you as a human being. you have a fowrn daition and you take, for instance, a dollar out of every ticket you sell on tour which is a lot of particulars and you have a foundation that works on many things including fighting degenerative brain continues conditions. you help with disaster relief. the why of is seems obvious but why was it important for snu. >> i have a platform and i'm talking to a lot of people through my music. but there is nothing better than to help people, you know. (applause) everyone has the opportunity to help. >> trevor. >> so this is my way of not only helping but informing the people that come to my shows, you know, what i am working on. and i'm lucky enough to be sitting in with some of the scientists that we're raising money towards. some of the researchers doing incredible discoveries and development in brain degenerative science or science-leading that hopefully can eradicate all brain illses

and open up our brain to more creativity. it is incredible information. so i love to be able to bring that back to my constituents. to my people, people that party with me. and it is really exciting stuff. >> i like the idea that you have your policies before, you are up there, before the music, i'm going to be doing this for the brain and we're going to help disaster relief and-- -- thank you so much for being on the show. >> thank you, man. kolony u.s. tour kicks off, if you would like tickets go to steve aoki.domcom. steve aoki, everybody. i was in my third tour in iraq when my vehicle was hit by an ied. i looked down and i knew i was out of the fight.

but playing for team usa has been a second chance to represent my country. i get to show my children and the world that, yeah, i might have been knocked down, but i'm up, and i'm honored to be able to represent the flag. comcast is grateful to all who have served our country, and we're proud to bring the 2018 olympic and paralympic winter games home to everyone. media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> that is our show for tonight, stay tuned for the opposition with jordan klepper coming up next am but first, here it is,