all right, dude. take off the headset. so, aside from all the bullcrap, what did you think of the oculus? it's pretty cool... but the graphics suck. fellas, i'm not grounded anymore! [patriotic music] - from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, "the daily show with trevor noah" presents... [upbeat music] ♪ - twitter was the ideal medium for future president trump. immediate, no filter, grammar super optional. in seeing its earth-shaking potential, trump used twitter to communicate only his most important thoughts. thoughts such as "the mar-a-lago club has the best meatloaf in america--tasty."

"i have never seen a thin person drinking diet coke." and, of course, "how did you like michelle obama's bangs last night?" with his follower count surging, trump would now harness the power of twitter to fuel his political rise. what started as just asking questions about whether the united states president was born in the united states blossomed into a full-blown run for the white house. and the media awaited each trump tweet like the hungry little bitches they are. - donald trump tonight-- the tweet with his taco bowl... - we got breaking news. donald trump is tweeting something right now. - a twitter tirade. - has he been tweeting again this morning? i just heard. - yes, he has been tweeting again this morning. - i haven't been f-- - i was just told in my ear we have yet another tweet. - another tweet from trump? - yet another tweet. - would the weight of the presidency change donald trump? [scoffs] not even a little. after taking office, the 70-year-old trump kept tweeting with the vigor of a person 60 years his junior. why? because america demanded it. - let me ask you--

should i keep the twitter going or not? keep it going? [cheers and applause] i think so, i think so. - and so trump continues his tweeting to this day, a sacrifice he makes for the american people. ♪ - last night, the president-- apparently starting to write something on twitter about the media-- "despite the negative press--" perhaps he was gonna write "coverage." he wrote the word "covfefe." and it stayed up for an entire six hours before it was taken down this morning. [laughter] - you know what? like, i don't know about america, but donald trump has definitely made twitter great again. say what you want, say what you want. and i'm just gonna enjoy this moment. i don't care--coverage or not coverage--i don't care. people were searching "covfefe" on the internet like it was a kim kardashian nude. people were on it. ♪ - president trump, making a dangerous accusation without providing proof.

- president trump's allegation that then president obama bugged his phones during the election. - president trump's stunning claim-- - accusing president obama of spying on him. - oh, [bleep]. this is the biggest story ever. [laughter] even bigger than last week's biggest story ever when the attorney general was caught lying about his contacts with russia. you know, donald trump is the only person who thinks the best way to distract from a scandal is to start an even bigger scandal. he's like, "this jeff sessions thing "is getting too hot, people. "i'm gonna pull out my [bleep] and let's see if that helps. let's do it, guys, let's do it." and you know, if you were gonna accuse a former president of committing a major federal crime, at least show that you have some appreciation for the gravity of what you're doing, you know? call a press conference. instead, trump is making these allegations from the same place we hashtag about "the bachelor."

- president trump's twitter outbursts came just before sunrise at the private palm beach club the president likes to call the "winter white house." "terrible, just found out that obama had my wires tapped "in trump tower just before the victory. nothing found." that was followed by four more presidential tweets taking on president obama and misspelling "tap." [laughter] - that was nicely done by the news guy. he's just like, "and misspelling 'tap.'" yeah, 'cause really, how are you gonna take on a two-term president if you can't even handle a three-letter word? and, by the way, because trump is the president, that is now officially the way we all have to spell "tap." yeah, "the extra p is for 'pussy.'" [laughter] ♪ so yesterday, alabama republicans went to the polls to choose between two candidates. roy moore, former alabama chief justice, and luther strange, the 6'9" former attorney general.

now the reason a republican primary race became national news is the same reason everything becomes national news-- mango unchained got involved. we need each and every one of you to get a friend-- go out, get a family member, get the whole family, and bring them out to vote for big luther. did people call you big luther before you met trump? you know, i brand people. i just saw him-- i said, "he's big luther." and that's cool. - wow, what a genius. he just saw the big guy, and he was like, "he's big." oh, man. - roy moore has won the alabama senate republican primary over senator luther strange. - wow, trump's man, luther strange, lost. yeah, and he lost big. it was a big loss. you see, what i like to do is brand losses--that's what i do. i give them nicknames. big loss.

thought of it myself. and this is not a joke-- donald trump was so humiliated he even deleted a bunch of his tweets where he told people to vote for luther strange. i know this is a small thing, but, in a weird way, it's a big thing. like, i would want a president smart enough to know that just because you delete the tweets doesn't mean that they're gone, right? if someone went up to trump and went "got your nose!" i'm afraid he'd be like, "my nose, my nose, my nose!" ♪ [thinking] want thesmexican spices? [thinking] nacho cheese sauce? critics and fans agree, "nacho fries are a masterpiece." "it'll change the way you look at fries" craves the hollywood reporter. nacho fries, now serving at a taco bell near you. [bong!]

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[hip-hop music] [upbeat music] - this weekend, trump showed that he's still trying to get back at hillary for losing to him. - the president of the united states, retweeting a video on twitter that shows him hitting a golf ball, and then the golf ball striking hillary clinton and knocking her down. you see it there. the president of the united states retweeted that this morning. why? - why? that's the official question of the trump administration.

"this administration brought you by 'why?' with additional support from 'huh?'" look, we can all agree that this tweet was obviously in poor taste. i mean, we knew that. it's on trump's twitter. but--but maybe it's not the worst thing in the world. now hear me out, hear me out. do you notice that trump sent out these tweets right as he started making deals with the democrats? protecting dreamers, raising the debt ceiling, postponing the wall. right now, trump's base is furious with him, so, to make them happy, he throws them a mean gif or two, right? yeah, and i don't know about you, but i feel like this is a trade that i can live with. trump gives his followers offensive tweets, and then he gives the rest of america policies that move the country forward. i'm just saying, if it helps, we'll even makes the gifs for you, mr. president, yeah. if you stop sabotaging obamacare, we'll give you

this gif of you dunking on obama, right? look at that--oh! donald trump, oh! you can have it. you can have it. or, or, if you crack down on wall street, you can have this gif of you hitting a golf ball into bernie's nuts. oh, oh! and then bernie's like, "joke's on you--my balls are at my knees!" ♪ president trump is a very brave man, but he does have some very specific fears. for example, he's totally arachnophobic, but of muslims. - president trump is not backing down from the international controversy he ignited by retweeting three inflammatory but unverified anti-muslim videos. - one shows extremists throwing somebody off a roof. another showed a jihadist fighter destroying a christian statue. and a third claimed to show an islamic immigrant

in the netherlands attacking a dutch boy on crutches. - the three videos the president retweeted were originally posted by a tiny anti-islam ultra-nationalist party called britain first. - for more on these shocking retweets, we turn to our very own hasan minhaj, everybody. [cheers and applause] [whistling] hasan... [cheers and applause] as--as an american muslim, it must be troubling and shocking to see the president of the united states send out these videos. - no, i'm not shocked. we were due, you know? trump's islamophobia is like an eminem freestyle. you get a new one every few months, and it's slightly angrier than the last one. here's what pisses me off-- these random videos are either totally out of context or straight up false. this fringe british group wants people to think brown boogeymen are coming to kill them. they recently shared a viral photo of isis fighters, but it wasn't isis.

it was ice cube. [laughter] you idiots. you're mixing up your ices, okay? and it's ridiculous, all right? and these new videos are just as ridiculous as that meme. the muslim migrant beating up a dutch boy? both those kids were dutch. the perpetrator wasn't a migrant. the roof video, horrible, but it happened during the civil unrest in egypt in 2013. they're rival political factions. - okay, but what about the video of the statue smashing? - yeah, that guy's a terrorist and a vandal and an asshole. no one's saying there's no such thing as terrorism. the point is the president is retweeting false videos to stoke up islamophobia. and even when it's totally obvious that trump is spreading bs, this is what his human excuse generator says. - white house press secretary sarah sanders defended the president, saying it didn't matter

if the anti-muslim videos were real. - whether it's a real video, the threat is real. - ooh, killer jedi mind trick. that's like sarah saying, "hey, i don't need facts to be racist. i can just be racist." [laughter] here's my thing. trump doesn't need to send out these fake stories about muslims. if trump needs incriminating video of muslims, ask muslims, ask me-- i got plenty of dirt on my phone, man. show my dad returning used underwear at costco. show my mom telling my aunt we're ten minutes away when we haven't left the house yet. show my cousin lying to his parents about having a white girlfriend over thanksgiving. now that's a viral video, and that's real, sahil. i shouldn't have said his name. i'm s--okay, i [bleep] up. i shouldn't have said his name. ♪ - the president then turned to america's greatest foe, fake news media. - this tweet is another-- it also came just moments ago

from the president. "i will be announcing the most dishonest and corrupt "media awards of the year on monday at 5:00 o'clock. "subjects will cover dishonesty and bad reporting "in various categories from the fake news media. stay tuned." - okay, that's the right way to use twitter. honestly, i'm not sure why donald trump would hold a corrupt media award ceremony on monday i mean, maybe he's just doing it so he can walk in on the reporters while they're changing. he's like, "oh, jake tapper, what a surprise." [laughter] so that was donald trump's day on twitter. the bad news is he's, you know, itching to start a nuclear war. the good news is, despite his threats to korea, at least he thinks we're gonna make it until monday. - this award season, forget the oscars. forget the golden globes because everyone is talking about the 2018 most dishonest and corrupt news awards. - you are fake news. - hosted by the most popular president in history, donald j. trump. and featuring cnn's lying jim acosta

- such lying, disgusting people. - drunk don lemon. - a total disgrace. - from "morning joe," low-iq, crazy mika. - they are the lowest form of humanity. - and a special future in memoriam for "the new york times." - the failing "new york times," which is, like, so bad. - so tune in monday at 5:00 a.m. or p.m.-- he didn't say. also, location tbd. twitter, maybe. - i--by the way, i hate some of these people, but i'd never kill 'em. let's see, well-- no, i wouldn't. ♪ today, right now, you have more power at your fingertips than entire generations that came before you. but it's not really about what technology can do, it's about what you can do with it. we are living in the future we always dreamed of. we have mixed reality that changes how we see the world, and ai empowering us

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[hip-hop music] [upbeat music] - now, as you probably know, every year, the leaders from around the world meet in new york at the u.n. to discuss major global issues. it's basically comic con for diplomats. this year's general assembly is going to extra special though because it's president trump's first, yeah. and just in case world leaders weren't completely familiar with him, this weekend, president trump on twitter decided to reintroduce himself. - an early-morning twitter spree by president trump is sparking controversy tonight. - president trump is being slammed for his use of twitter this weekend. - president trump appears to have found a new nickname for the north korean leader. he tweeted this morning, "i spoke with president moon "of south korea last night. "asked him how rocket man is doing. "long gas lines forming in north korea. too bad."

- it's great to know that, if america is ever in a war of bitchiness, president trump's got it covered. ooh, too bad, rocket man. "we've tried diplomacy. "now we've gotta try sass. unlock the sass codes!" wouldn't it be fun if that was a way you could fight? 'cause instead of nuclear weapons, you had sass? it's like, "you ready? unlock them!" but there's no key. you're just like, "yeah." that'd be strange. the secretary of state revealed that he has a direct line of communication with north korea, which is a big deal considering north korea is threatening to launch nuclear weapons at the u.s. unfortunately, for the rest of us, president trump has a direct line of communication with twitter. - u.s. president donald trump appears to be undermining in his top diplomat on north korea. - "i told rex tillerson he's wasting his time "trying to negotiate with little rocket man. "save your energy rex. we'll do what has to be done." - i get what trump is trying to do, though. he's thinking that, by acting crazy, he'll strengthen rex's hand with the negotiations.

you know, it's the old good cop, bad president routine. i understand it. the problem is he's actually a bad president. it's not just a routine. - "being nice to rocket man hasn't worked in 25 years. "why would it work now? "clinton failed, bush failed, and obama failed. i won't fail." - you know, i would be a lot more confident that trump wouldn't fail if he knew that north korea has had three leaders in the last 25 years, yeah. clinton and bush were dealing with different kims-- kim il-sung, kim jong-il, and now kim jong-un, but i guess to trump, all rocket men look the same. or maybe, maybe he just can't tell kims apart. maybe that's his thing. he's gonna be walking in the street, bumping into lil' kim and looking at her like, "you son of a bitch!" tensions with kim jong-un loomed over the entire excursion, and it didn't help that north korea released a statement calling trump "an old lunatic." and donald trump was like "i've got 280 now."

- moments ago, president trump openly mocked the leader of north korea. this is what he wrote: "why would "kim jong-un insult me by calling me 'old' "when i would never call him 'short and fat'? "oh, well, i try so hard to be his friend, and maybe someday that will happen." - okay, it's a little weird for donald trump to diss kim jong-un's weight when they have pretty much the same body type. i mean, yeah, i'm not judging, but i just think people who live in gingerbread houses shouldn't throw scones. also, also, i love that trump's response was "how dare you call me old?" it's like, so the lunatic thing, you're okay with that? [laughter] you don't mind at all? apparently president trump's new year's resolution was "i should spend more time on twitter." - the president unloading in his first day back here at the white house 16 tweets, mainly a mixture of taunts and threats.

- president trump raised the temperature in his duel with kim jong-un who had boasted of having a nuclear button on the desk in his office. "will someone from his food-starved regime please inform him," the president wrote, "that i too have a nuclear button, "but it is a much bigger and more powerful one than his, and my button works." - if you had a super computer that could run a simulation of a billion ways, you know, to find the stupidest possible way to get into a nuclear war, this tweet is what would come up every single time. there are some things that twitter just isn't appropriate for. because just take a step back. take a step back and think about what pressing the button would actually mean. hundreds of thousands of people, incinerated instantly, and they would be the lucky ones. millions more would die horribly in the next few weeks, while any survivors would be left to suffer in the desolate world that is choked by poison ash. that's not for twitter, people. at the very least, that deserves a tumblr post. ♪

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go. yes! go. yes! nice play. still buffering. mine too. what happened? hey, joy, you should let your new pals know that according to a leading independent study, the most awarded network is now best in streaming. i think you just did. you both can get a much better view of the game on the iphone on verizon unlimited. thanks. thanks. hey, thomas, when's your flight? (gasps) someone stole my watch. hey! (avo) unlimited is only as good as the network it's on. so get the best unlimited on the most awarded network. and right now, when you buy iphone 8, you'll get one on us with no trade-in required. [hip-hop music] [upbeat music] ♪ [cheers and applause] - let's talk for a moment about the twitter. it's a wonderful invention, but we have learned that if you ever tweet something that offends too many people, you could get fired from your job, or you could become president. high risk, very high reward. and once again, there's a tweet that's blowing up the news. - a controversy about espn host jemele hill.

- jemele hill went on a twitter rampage. - jemele hill came under fire this week after she tweeted on monday that president donald trump is a white supremacist who has largely surrounded himself with other white supremacists. - espn responded with a statement. "the comments on twitter from jemele hill "regarding the president do not represent the position of espn. "we have addressed this with jemele, and she recognizes her actions were inappropriate." - wow, this is the biggest controversy in sports since the phillie phanatic sex tape. really, really big. and now you're picturing it. for more on jemele hill and this controversy, we're joined by roy wood jr., everybody. [cheers and applause] roy... - what? - i--i can see why people are upset about this. she called the president of the united states a white supremacist. - she did. i know, trevor. where could she have gotten that idea? i mean, who in their right mind would--oh, yeah, everybody.

even congress--they just passed a unanimous, bipartisan resolution asking trump to condemn white supremacists. trump is the only white dude i know that had to sign paperwork to prove he don't like nazis. [laughter] "nazis aren't my friend." "eh, we're gonna need that in writing though." - okay, but what about-- what about people-- what about people who like-- who's like this. you know, people who say this isn't about trump at all. it's about a double standard. - imagine if a conservative had said whatever similar during the obama years. what would the reaction be? - "imagine." oh, look at john lennon over here. "imagine it." we don't need to imagine because there was a conservative tv personality who tweeted, "obama is a racist." [laughter] and... [cheers and applause] and obama--obama never sent out his goon to say that nbc should fire donald trump. you know why?

because obama was too busy doing president stuff-- killing bin ladens and singing al green. ♪ - ooh. [coughing] captioning sponsored by comedy central ( cheers and applause ) >> jordan: you are the opposition. it's already january 23, and i'm already furious. my opponent tonight is mexico's former president vicente fox. ( cheers and applause ) yes. okay, okay. he'll admit defeat later. ( laughter ) but first, opposers, you know i hate hollywood. this is the place that only gave trump one star on the walk of fame. hey, tinseltown, stop being so self-obsessed and give him the honor he deserves. ( laughter ) but today, i'm faster becoming more furious at hollywood, becaus