tv The Daily Show Comedy Central March 1, 2018 11:00pm-11:31pm PST
11:00 pm
>> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: thank you. welcome, everybody! welcome to "the daily show"! thank you for tuning in! i'm trevor noah! thank you so much! take a seat! save your applause. you will need it because our guest tonight from "black panther," his royal highness king t'challa, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) but first, it's good thing we have a superhero here because you might want to duck. >> a stunning announcement from vladimir putin, an aggressive and defiant declaration of
11:01 pm
russia's new nuclear capacity. he declared russia has a strategic nuclear missile powered by a nuclear engine that can have a long range, destroy any nuclear defense system and go anywhere in the world. >> trevor: are you shitting me? we're still dealing with kim jong un and president putin pops out and says, me #metoo! come on, man! ( applause ) the missile might not look scary because the video looks like something out of south park, but the idea of russia having a missile that can evade all defense systems in the world should scare the shit out of you. unlimited range? it's a missile, meryl streep, what the hell, man? but let's move on. a lot of new developments in the debate over guns. yesterday wal-mart announced it will no longer sell guns to people under age 21 or to dogs
11:02 pm
under the age of 3, right? this wasn't working out. it's just amazing that, so far, a chain store is doing more about guns than congress is. especially because congress is basically a building full of wal-mart greeters, you know. it's just, like, hi, welcome to wal-mart. i do this because my grandkids won't talk to me. bah! ( laughter ) but in addition to wal-mart, dick's sporting goods said they would do the same thing and that they won't sell assault assault weapons at all. ( cheers and applause ) yeah. so now, if you want to kill someone with something from dick's sporting goods, you have to buy them football equipment and wait. but the big box stores aren't going to stop school shootings by themselves. so yesterday president trump invited lawmakers back to his "apprentice" set to discuss what can be done to stop gun
11:03 pm
violence. trump sun predictable. just when you think he's going to zig, he punches you in the nuts. >> president trump shocked lawmakers in a bipartisan meeting wednesday calling out the n.r.a., calling for comprehensive gun control measures backed by democrats. >> lawmakers are confused after president trump seemed to buck his own party. >> some of you people are petrified of the n.r.a. you can't be petrified. >> trevor: donald trump attacked his own party for being scared of the n.r.a. i did not see that coming. that was the craziest twist since the end of "the usual suspects." yeah, like when we found out kevin spacey molested kaiser soze. that was just mind blowing. ( laughter ) and if you thought trump was going rogue when he attacked republicans and the n.r.a., wait until you see him supporting the democrats. >> mr. president, what do we do about weapons of war easily accessible on our streets? you go into a store and you can
11:04 pm
buy an ar-15. >> you can. >> you can buy a tech 9. you can buy all these weapons. >> joe and pat, you're going to have to discuss that, you will sit down with dianne and everybody else and you will come up with something and i really believe it has to be very strong. >> trevor: did you see that? did you see the joy on dianne feinstein's face when trump tells the conservatives to put her shit in the bill? like, she looks happier than ted cruz on halloween. it's, like, finally, my doorbell rang, yeah! all the democrats, all the democrats in this meeting were giddy. look at amy klobuchar when trump shut down the republicans conceal carry idea. all of a sudden she's jim from the office going, like, are you guys seeing this? this is pretty much how the whole discussion went. trump supported all democrats gun control positions, universal
11:05 pm
background checks, raising minimum age to buy rifles, banning all domestic abusers from buying guns, trump pushed all their ideas. it was so disorienting seeing a different side of trump dr, like finding out your grandma works part time as a dominatrix. that's right, they call me the queen of nipple play! ( laughter ) and just like a dominatrix, tripp trump pushed the limits because at one point mike pence tries to step in and say calm down, there will be due process before anyone's guns will be taken away and trump is like, or -- >> but the pokes is to literally give families and local law enforcement additional tools if an individual is reported to be a potential danger to themselves or others, allow due process so no one's rights are trampled. >> or, mike, take the firearms first and then go to court, because that's another system because a lot of times by the time you go to court, it takes
11:06 pm
so long to go to court, to get the due process procedures. i like taking the guns early. you know, the police saw that he was a problem. they didn't take any guns away. that could have been policing. i think they should have been taken them away anyway, whether they had the right or not. >> trevor: okay, my mind is going to explode. donald trump just said (bleep) your rights, i'm taking your guns. isn't that what he said hillary was going to do? yeah? donald trump flipped so much in this meeting, i was waiting for him to be, like, the reason i sound like hillary is because it's actually me! it was me all along! ( cheers and applause ) yeah! it was just a wig and fruit rollups! i can't believe you fell for it! lock-me-up! ( laughter ) now, look, than extreme position by trump. it's even more extreme than the democrats were asking for.
11:07 pm
and i guess yesterday some people on the left got a glimpse of why trump's people love him so much -- he wants to take action, and he's not going to let anything stop him. and people on the right got a glimpse of why people are terrified of trump on the left -- he wants to take action, and he's not going to let anything stop him. and, like, we shouldn't really be surprised that trump is flipping on guns because, in his heart, he's never really been a gun nut. >> my sons have been members of the n.r.a. for many, many years, and they're incredible. they have so many rifles and so many guns sometimes even i get a little bit concerned. i said, that's a lot. >> trevor: you see? that was the truth slipping out. you see that? yeah. to be fair, i also wouldn't want my kids having guns if one of them was eric. yeah, yeah, no, forget guns, that guy should go through a background check before every smile. come on, now. ( laughter ) before you get too excited for
11:08 pm
your new gun grabber in chief, remember what happened not long ago on daca. trump was at the same table agreeing with democrats on immigration and then two days later the whole thing fell apart. i wouldn't be shocked if next week he's talking about protecting schools and says, why do we care about these douche bag kids anyway? we need more from norway -- i meant douche house. every other issue, healthcare, taxes, trump has no idea what's going on, but with school shootings, he's, like, guys, i think i figure it out, it might be the guns! guns make the bang bang! guns make the bang bang! i got it! ( cheers and applause ) we'll be right back
11:09 pm
( cheers and applause ) i was just... ...looking at getting an amazing iphone 8? they have an all glass design, advanced cameras, a11 bionic chip. uh.. i'm going to... yeah, now you're going to give your second phone to your new friend. wow, paul! (vo) now, get one iphone 8 for people with hearing loss, and give a second one on us. visit sprintrelay.com.
11:10 pm
we make scents, for men. hey, sir lose-a-lot! thou hast the patchy beard of a pre-pubescent squire! thy armor was forged by a feeble-fingered peasant woman... your mom! as long as hecklers love to heckle, you can count on geico saving folks money. boring! fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance.
11:11 pm
go. yes! go. yes! nice play. still buffering. mine too. what happened? hey, joy, you should let your new pals know that according to a leading independent study, the most awarded network is now best in streaming. i think you just did. you both can get a much better view of the game on the iphone on verizon unlimited. thanks. thanks. hey, thomas, when's your flight? (gasps) someone stole my watch. hey!
11:12 pm
(avo) unlimited is only as good as the network it's on. so get the best unlimited on the most awarded network. and right now, when you buy iphone 8, you'll get one on us with no trade-in required. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." now, as we've seen recently, it's kids, not politicians, who seem to be pushing political change. most politicians can't even manage to get their own messages out there, and that's especially true for the democrats. luckily, we might have found a way to help the dems out. ronny chieng report. >> democrats might know how to rally the base, but when they reach out to middle america, they say things like -- >> for working families to get a share of that prosperity that
11:13 pm
they're creating, we need some serious enforcement of competition laws -- >> yo, boring. >> single payer, single payer, single payer -- >> it's like you don't even care about what you're saying. >> can you hear me now?! >> it's not working. >> it's not working? >> no, it's not. last election, people in swing states went for a guy who said things like -- >> who's going to pay for the wall? i'd like to punch him in the face, i tell ya. >> trump honed his style where else? in professional wrestling. if democrats were going to fight back, they needed someone who could go head to head with the wwe hall of famer like trump. and in the heart of coal country, we found him. >> shut your ignorant mouth because a progressive liberal has something to say! finally, a democrat who doesn't make me want to change the channel. daniel richards has been making headlines wrestling as a progressive liberal and rallying
11:14 pm
up small-town audiences all over the country. >> i should have done this a long time ago! >> how hard is it to pretend to have these liberal values? >> i'm not pretending. >> you're on the wrong side of history. shut up! >> even if the crowd hates him. the progressive liberal could teach democrats classic wrestling techniques for getting voters' attention. >> you want to stick to broad, brushstroke talking points. >> middle america would like to learn about politics from a mostly naked man than reading a book? >> yeah. >> politicians and wrestlers had one key difference. >> people in politics will say anything to get elected, whereas a good wrestler will only say things they truly believe in. >> we're seeing the level of political discourse in wrestling is actually higher than in politics? >> oh, yeah.
11:15 pm
>> with congress immobilized bipartisan politics, what advise did a progressive liberal have for democrats? >> let's see you're chuck schumer and mitch mcconnell puts you in a head lock, what do you do? >> i would reverse it into a top wrist lock, and i would stomp on his elbow, breaking his wrist. >> and the issue would be resolved? >> without a doubt. >> the progressive liberal had good ideas for updating democrats' messaging but could he take on the heavy weight champion of the white house? unfortunately he was busy golfing so we cast somebody else to approximate trump's rhetorical style. >> shut up! yeah! >> introducing the commander in briefs! >> is it just me or is it getting cold in here? because there's a snowflake in the ring! >> i am not a snowflake! >> snowflake! >> quit pandering! >> i'm not pandering. i'm one of them. my pardoning was working.
11:16 pm
time to take this to the next level. you know what this man wants? let me guess what you want to do with the guns in this country, just let me guess, you want to take them away! >> i don't want to take away guns, i'm just for really strict background checks. >> okay, that wasn't too hard to understand, and the audience was into it. >> okay, fine, whatever about guns. let me guess what you want to do about marijuana! >> i think what people want to do behind closed doors should be their business. >> like hell you do. >> it is my business as the progressive liberal! ( cheers and applause ) >> looks like broad brushstroke talking points work especially on marijuana, democrats. so let wrestlers run your next campaign like lock guns up, make america great-est, or just for 2020. what turns on crowds is action. >> i don't care about your
11:17 pm
position because you suck! >> middle america wants a strong hero who won't back down from a fight. so democrats if you want to beat a wrestler or president, keep it simple and go on the offensive. >> take this, ow! take this, ow! >> welcome to the future of american politics. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: ronny chieng, everybody! we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause )
11:18 pm
everyone has a thing. that binge watch over the weekend thing. more checking in.. or checking out things. no no no no no no no. that triple-double thing. doing it yourself or tagging a friend thing. more revolutions in the making thing. that play like a girl thing. that four-legged friends thing. at&t gives you more for your thing. more entertainment, internet, and unlimited plans. more for your thing. yeah, that's our thing. more and more people are finding themselves in a chevrolet for the first time. trying something new can be exciting. empowering. downright exhilarating. see for yourself why chevrolet is the most awarded and fastest growing brand, the last four years overall. switch into a new chevy now. with 20% below msrp on these select 2018 models, or 0% financing for 72 months on 2018 tahoe and suburban models. chevrolet. find new roads.
11:19 pm
on 2018 tahoe and suburban models. taco bell's new has all of taylor's favorites. like the beefy 5 layer burrito cinnamon twists crunchy taco cheesy gordita crunch and a medium drink it also has brad's favorites, the guy who bought it. taco bell's new $5 cravings deal. ♪ i've had three people trooh, lucky penny.. anyway, sometimes i wish i were human. woahhhh. i'm human! do you want to eat me? would you like to eat me? nobody wants to eat me... ♪ chili's has 10 lunches for just $7 ♪ ♪ when was the last time you had a great lunch? ♪ ♪ just $7 for 10 awesome lunches ♪ ♪ 'cause lunch is back, baby it's chili's for lunch ♪ ♪ chili's is back, baby, back, baby, back ♪ mmm-hmm! ♪ or take chili's lunch to go ♪ ♪ baby, go, baby, go
11:21 pm
11:22 pm
to korea? >> okoye and nakia as well. >> do you think it's a good idea to take your ex on a mission? >> yes, we will be fine. plus you will be on call should we need backup. >> trevor: please welcome, chadwick boesman! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> i didn't expect you to do that. >> trevor: welcome. what do you mean you didn't expect me to do that? everywhere you go now, for the rest of your life, you will be greeted like this. >> you are not lying. >> trevor: you are the king of wakanda, my friend! congratulations! ( cheers and applause ) >> thank you. >> trevor: i have been a fan of yours for such a long time and i've watched you go from film to film and you've played some of the most iconic people
11:23 pm
on screen, but there is something truly different and magical about this character. could you feel it when you were making "black panther"? >> uh, i think the whole cast, we knew how special this project could be. we knew what the comic book was, we knew what the -- you know, what the whole idea of this technologically advanced nation in africa, that, you know, essentially they are the oldest people on the planet. >> right. >> that idea that it was a revolutionary one, that we knew we could throw a lot of our passion into, and we didn't know how people would receive it. we knew that it would be important to see a black superhero. we knew that would be interesting. we knew that once people saw what these women were that that would impact some people, but you don't know if that's going to be a niche group of people that love it. you also don't know if it's going to -- you know, if the
11:24 pm
studio is going to put everything they can into it. >> trevor: i was really impressed by the fact that everyone in the movie that did an african accent, from different places. m'baku had a nigerian-inspired accent. t'challa came out and there was a moment i was watching and i thought, why did it sound like a young nelson mandela? was that the inspiration? >> that was the sound of my madala coach. i wanted that sound because i felt like the clicks are an indication -- it is believed languages that have the clicks, they are among the oldest. i felt that was a great sound for this particular character. >> trevor: was a part of your worried, show though, that evere having african accents would be something that the moviegoers
11:25 pm
wouldn't gravitate towards? >> i wasn't worried. knew an african accent could carry all the passion in the english language just as well as a british one could if not better. and, so, you know, for me, there was -- when i heard things like people can't listen to that, you know, for an entire film, you know, they were just talking about me doing it. i was, like, no, we're going to go to wakanda one day and, in my mind, i was, like, if i have a british accent right now, what's going to happen? the rest of the nation is speaking with a british accent. >> trevor: i'm picturing that scene, that cutout of the movie, like "black panther" coming back, my king, you have returned! and he's, like -- (british accent) hello, good to be back! >> when we were debating, i had that nightmare. ( laughter ) >> trevor: the movie connected
11:26 pm
with so many people on so many levels. i got to watch the film in new york city with many different people from different walks of life. i watched how it touched many african-americans. what i loved is how that authenticity translated back to africa, to south africa. i saw people back home who embraced the movie just as much as people did here which is not easy. a lot of time we watch movies and are like who are they trying to imitate? what part of africa is this? >> right. >> trevor: but people loved it back home and in the motherland. did that touch you? >> i can't even put it to words what that feels like because, you know, on both sides, as an african-american and, you know, seeing people from the continent, i see -- i've seen the divide for my entire life. >> trevor: right. >> you know, i grew up and i remember hearing the term african booty scratchers as an
11:27 pm
insult. >> trevor: right. >> i went through my phase of trying to find africa not knowing, well, which place am i from. >> trevor: wow. >> and i've seen africans who viewed us in a way, well, you're not connected, you don't know where you're from, and at the same time love parts of our culture. so there's been this weird dynamic. you know, i don't know the oral tradition because i didn't grow up with it. you know, if i knew exactly where i came from, growing up, i would have had an oral tradition from that place. >> trevor: right. >> i've never had that. so this movie, in a certain way, creates a story that we all share, and it's the first time that i feel like that's ever happened. >> trevor: i feel like that, yeah. >> where it's, like, okay, that's our story. that's our story, too. i think part of that is because you have these two characters who have this collision, and
11:28 pm
they have to go through each other and find out about each other. so even in fighting, there's a sense of kinship among them. you know, i think it's portrayed on screen where people accept it. >> trevor: it's portrayed. it's welcomed. it's electric, and it's going to make a billion dollars plus. congratulations. ( cheers and applause ) it's so amazing having you on the show. thank you for everything you've done. i appreciate you. "black panther" is in theaters now. chadwick boesman, everyone. we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) fred would do anything for his daughter. get in, fred! even if it means being the back half of a unicorn. fear not fred, the front half washed his shirt with gain flings! and that smell puts the giddy in giddy up.
11:29 pm
that's because one gain flings pac has more freshness than a whole bottle of the other guy. gain. seriously good scent. and we're gonna get the phone- his phone,ry sorry. uh out of you... the important thing is that we're going to make you better. (voice-activated double-tone) okay. here's how to make butter. pour two thirds a cup of cold heavy cream into a one cup canning... snickers® satisifes. [thinking] mexican spices? ♪ [thinking] nacho cheese sauce? they don't want these coming out. who's they? the burger people. they! they! nacho fries, now serving at a taco bell near you. [bong!]
11:30 pm
♪ ♪ and save up to $600 on select tempur-pedic adjustable mattress sets from the brand ranked highest in customer satisfaction with mattresses by j.d. power. ♪ tempur-pedic sleep is power. ♪ yes! ours is still buffering. what's happening? you're experiencing a network delay. you both need to be watching that on the iphone with verizon. the best streaming network. how long have you been here? i've been here a couple days. (avo) get the best unlimited on the most awarded network. buy iphone 8, and get one on us with no trade-in required. tonight. stay tuned, "the opposition"
11:31 pm
with jordan klepper is up. now here it is... your moment of zen. >> "the post" adding the president privately referred to in sessions as mr. mcgoo, a character that's elderly, myopic and bumbling. acomedy central ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> jordan: so much. so much to talk about. it's already march 1. tonight, i'm talking to two high school teachers about carrying guns in the classroom, joel myrick and dea ciamacca. give if up ( applause ) then we'll talk guns. then i lay into fake news cnn commentator bakari sellers. give it up and then take it back. take it back. guys there's a lot, a lot to get to today. but first, let me be real. i'm anxious. the president met with senators yesterday to discuss gun legislation, and it did not go
176 Views
Uploaded by TV Archive on
