i learned a big lesson. it's wrong, guys. christ didn't die for our sins, and god is angry. it's time for us all to stop this easter ridiculousness, accept jehovah as our god, and deny christ. - aw, stop tryin' to ruin easter, you--you heathen! - yeah! - that's right! - get out of here! - no, you guys, listen! [overlapping chatter] [sighs] i finally know how you feel, kyle, knowing your religion is right but being laughed at by everyone else. it's so hard for us jews. but i guess we just have to let stupid people believe what they're gonna believe. - yeah. - i know what you're thinking, kyle, but i really do believe in judaism now. i'm not lying. - i know you're not. - cool, thanks, kyle. oh, and kyle, happy passover. - happy passover, cartman.

>> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: thank you! thank you very much, everybody! welcome to "the daily show." thank you so much for tuning in. i'm trevor noah. take a seat. my guest tonight here to talk about her amazing new memoir, author terese marie mailhot is joining us, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) it's going to be a great conversation. and can i just say, before we get into the show, thank you guys for coming out in the middle of a storm. i appreciate that. this is amazing. ( cheers and applause ) yeah. the whole city of new york is basically shut down, and these people are like, "no, we're not shutting down anything." in fact i wasn't coming to work

and they were like, the audience is here." let's get into it. first up, we have some breaking vape allegations. >> a new study out tonight warns that vaping, especially by teenagers, may be more dangerous than many believed. >> research found those who used fruit-flavored products had significantly higher levels of five toxic chemicals. >> the toxicants that we found in these teenagers are the same toxicants that we find in traditional smokers, just in lower levels. i would expect to find similar side effects, such as heart disease and cancer, down the road. >> trevor: okay, hold up. you mean to tell me that inhaling liquid made in an unregistered cambodian chemical plant is bad for me? ( laughter ) but the guy at the store with the marijuana leaf face tattoo said it was safe! i think he was a doctor. i think he was. come on, this surely should be the end of vaping, right, because now you get cancer, and you look like a douchebag. seriously.

like, there's a reason that no one cool ever vaips in movies. >> i admire your luck, mr.... >> bond. james bond. >> trevor: first bond to never get laid. ( laughter ) let's move on now to uber, the vape-pen of taxis. since the launch of the ride-sharing service, taxi drivers all over the world have complained that because uber is largely unregulated, it has hurt the taxi industry. and by "taxi industry" i mean the industry of convincing passengers to ride in their (bleep). stop complaining. it's the essence of life. so after years of watching their business dwindle, taxi drivers in greece have decided to hurt uber back. >> athens, greece, is the latest place where taxi drivers are striking. today they are walking off the job in protest over unfair competition coming from uber.

(bleep) >> trevor: i feel you guys, man. i feel you guys. that's the same thing i do when my uber is late. i feel you, man. yeah. ( laughter ) and, look, i know these guys are angry, but some of their protests just look funny, right? like, look at that guy. what is he doing? i have never seen a real-life person did do this. he's like a greek donky kong. that's what he looks like. and, by the way, you realize it's not coincidence that an uber just happened to be in the middle of a protest, right? like, one of the taxi drivers must have called that uber to the protest. like, that's a pretty dick move. just like calling uber now. the driver is like, "where are you?" "don't worry, you'll see me. you'll see me." yeah, i like to think that after the protest, because all the taxi drivers were on strike, they had to uber home. they were like, "all right, that was fun. yeah, okay, let's call that guy back and hope he doesn't recognize us, yeah. hey, buddy." let's move on to another technology that is disrupting the world. president trump's twitter.

yesterday morning, the president tweeted, "the new fake news narrative is that there is chaos in the white house. wrong. there is no chaos. only great energy." ( laughter ) i've got to say, man, if this whole president thing doesn't work out, trump would be dope at writing fortune cookies, huh? ( laughter ) "there is no chaos. only great energy. your lucky number is 69. it's always 69." now, look, trump always says things that are easily disproved, but yesterday was particularly entertaining because at 7:55 a.m., he tweeted "no chaos." and then the rest of the day was nothing but chaos. literally, just a few hours after he declared tuesday no-chaos, great-energy day, news broke that the council to the president, and evil disney stepmom, kellyanne conway, had apparently broken the law. >> we've got this breaking news now, and it has to do with

adviser to the president, kellyanne conway. the u.s. office of special counsel, which says that it has looked and found evidence that kellyanne conway violated the hatch act. >> conway broke the law, prohibiting government officials from using their position to influence political campaigns. the watchdog says conway went on tv twice to discuss the candidates in last year's alabama senate race. >> trevor: i always thought kellyanne conway being on tv was a crime. i just didn't know i was right. ( laughter ) because, i mean, the hatch act. i didn't know that that was a thing. but that's what's great about the trump administration-- we're learning about all of america's laws because they keep on breaking them, yeah. ( laughter ) by the end of trump's term, we're all going to be legal scholars-- the hatch act, the logan act, the emoluments clause. i rest my case! ( laughter ) but, still, just because your top adviser was found break the law, doesn't mean you're in chaos. so the president came out to assure everyone that everything in the white house was no chaos,

great energy. >> the the white house has tremendous energy. it has tremendous spirit. it is a great place to be working. many, many people want every single job. you know, i read, "oh, gee, maybe people don't want to work for trump." and, believe me, everybody wants to work in the white house. >> trevor: phew! thank god. ( laughter ) i believe him. yeah. everybody wants to work in the white house. no chaos. great energy. >> we're following breaking news. another high-level white house official is leaving. president trump's top economic adviser, gary cohn, is resigning. >> gary cohn becoming the latest in a string of white house advisers to abandon ship. >> trevor: ah, white house advisers abandoning ship? that's chaos, not great energy! ( laughter ) people don't abandon ships when there's great energy, mr. president. unless maybe i missed that scene in "the titanic." >> there was too much great energy!

( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: i cry every time. okay, but look, but look, maybe i'm being a hater, right. one adviser caught breaking the law, another adviser quit. it's a bad day, but it's not exactly chaos. and the day was basically over, so what else could possibly go-- >> breaking news this very hour, nbc news reporting tonight that adult film actress stormy daniels is suing the president of the united states. >> donald trump saying the hush agreement she signed is invalid because trump never signed it. ( laughter ) >> trevor: you know, this is amazing. i mean, usually porn plots only last, like, 30 seconds, but this one just keeps on going and going and going. ( laughter ) how incompetent are you if you didn't sign your own n.d.a.? the same guy who slapped his name on everything-- buildings, vodka, the least-sexy "twilight" vampire. everything!

except the n.d.a. so to recap, to recap: in the 12 hours following the "everything's fine" tweets, a senior counselor busted breaking the law. a senior adviser said "f" this, i'm out. and a senior citizen apparently forgot to sign the hush money contract of her porn star mistress. i don't want to say the president is wrong, but this seems like chaos. yeah, in fact, at this point, i bet even chaos is like, "no, this is too crazy with me. yeah, that's not me." you know what would be amaze ago i was thinking about this earlier-- is if melania ends up divorcing trump over the porn star thing and then she somehow wins the white house in the divorce. ( laughter ) ( applause ) ( cheers ) but he still-- he's still president so now he's running the government out of a room at the motel 6. like, he's leaning over the sink eating raman noodles going... ( slurping ) "no chaos. great energy." we'll be right back.

( cheers and applause ) surprise! hold up. we got a laggy video call here. hey, try the new samsung galaxy s9 on verizon unlimited. the best network for streaming. okay, let's take it back from "surpri--" (avo) unlimited is only as good as the network it's on. switch and get up to $500 off the samsung galaxy s9. i like yours too.hair. can i have some? it's not cool to ask that. thanks, captain obvious. online dating isn't always rewarding. but hotels.com is. instant savings now, free nights later. hotels.com hey! are you taking the tissue test? yep, and my teeth are yellow. clearly my whitening toothpaste is not cutting it. time for whitestrips. whitening toothpaste only works on the surface. but crest 3d white whitestrips safely work below the enamel surface to whiten 25x better than a leading whitening toothpaste.

hey, nice smile! thanks! i crushed the tissue test. yeah you did! crest whitestrips. healthy, beautiful smiles for life. also, whiten and protect your smile from future stains with new crest brilliance mouthwash. ♪ ♪i like beer! ♪beer! ♪come on my jolly good fellows! ♪i like beer! ♪beer! ♪it tastes mighty fine ♪specially on nights that are mellow.♪ ♪yes, we like beeeeeeer! ♪wow. good job everyone. you've tried moisturizer but there's one... that blows them all out of the water. hydro boost water gel from neutrogena®. with hyaluronic acid it goes beneath the surface to plump skin cells from within

and lock in hydration leaving skin so supple, it actually bounces back. the results will blow you away! hydro boost and our gentle exfoliating cleanser from neutrogena® c(puppy barks) you can do it duck. hurry up duck! you can do it duck. iams. helps keep your dog healthy at every stage. so you can always look forward to what's next. fredget in, fred!thing for his daughter. even if it means being the back half of a unicorn. fear not fred, the front half washed his shirt with gain flings! and that smell puts the giddy in giddy up. that's because one gain flings pac has more freshness than a whole bottle of the other guy. gain. seriously good scent.

( cheers and applause ). >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." this is a.i. week "the daily show." all week, we've been looking at the potential threat of artificial intelligence taking our jobs. joining us now to give us his thoughts is ronny chieng, everybody. ( applause ) >> thanks, trevor. when robots first started taking people's jobs, i didn't really mind, because they were taking.

entry-level jobs, like manufacturing or fast-food service or breaking into people's houses and killing them. but then i did some research, and i found out that now, robots are also becoming lawyers. and that's where i draw the line. >> trevor: why is that the biggest problem? >> because a lot of people don't know this about me, but i'm a lawyer, trevor. i went to law school. and if robots take over the law, that means this degree is worthless. >> trevor: i don't think you have to worry. you're working on "the daily show" right now, so why would you still need it? >> listen, i know you're the flavor of the month now, but who knows when black outrage will be on the way out. >> trevor: back outrage. i'm not outraged. >> calm down, malcolm x.. i didn't go a million dollars in debt just for robots to take my career away. so i went to stop this takeover at its source. >> i'm tribal to replace the legal industry with artificial intelligence. >> he invented this robot, do not pay, and saved people

millions in fines and legal fees, but why is he trying to put hardworking, money-grubbing lawyers like me out of business. what do you have against lawyers? >> i don't have anything against lawyers, i just think how many people need access to justice and they're getting ripped off and making it free for them is popular. >> did you go to law school. >> no i did not. >> no, you did not. that's what law is about-- the person with the most money and resources winning. you are totally disrupting that. >> i think we can agree on that. >> okay, so how does this thing even work? >> just like a real human lawyer, you go to it, type in whatever your legal problem is. it gives you a legal document for free in under 30 seconds. >> and it's not just parking ticks. this a.i. lawyer has helped people sue equifax without paying a lawyer anything. with this thing, anyone can sue anyone. >> that's not what was intended. >> oh, wow, look at this. i just sued you for memory descris for devaluing my degree.

i just sued you for that terrible suit-and-shirt combo. oh, i just sued you for impersonating john oliver. how do you like that? >> i-- i-- i mean i'm personally offended but i stand by myself. a human lawyer is great, but they're just so emotional. >> too emotional? i was making a great case against a.i. lawyers using my human skills of legal persuasion. but what if robot lawyers were just the beginning. what if a.i. is take over the entire legal system? legal tech expert tim wong. >> increasingly, we're seeing the use of these automated systems, even in the application of law. judges, for example, are now using algrythsims to stacy whether people should be released pretrial. >> wait a minute, robots are already judging humans? >> oh, yes, in many states around the country. >> he's right. robot judges are already performing pretrial risk assessment, helping human judges to determine bail or if a person

should be detained. >> and over 1 million criminal cases have been processed using these systems. >> what is the benefit of having a machine in the judiciary? >> some are saying they will be free of bias in the way that judges are not. >> i don't know about you, but i would rather be (bleep) over by a human than a machine any day of the week. unless it's one of those realistic swul bots. obviously, those things are like-- whoa. are you told when you feel them, it feels like the real-- >> i think that's a whole other issue. >> sorry. ( laughter ) ( applause ) but even sox bot addicts can see a.i. judges aren't perfect. >> a great study a few years back looked at the specific case of a pretrial risk-assessment system and they were able to find it was actually quite racist, that actually, black defendants who are not likely to commit crimes in the future had substantially higher risk ratings. >> you're saying these judging machines were racist? >> yeah, that's what it look likes in this case. >> oh, then that means the

system works then. >> i don't know about that. no, i'm sorry. ( laughter ) but increasingly, we're seeing robots implemented all across legal practice. >> this is so ridiculous. where does it end? eventually you're going to see machines judging humans. >> a lot of systems we're seeing are not that advanced -- >> that's exactly what's to happen! robot lawyers? robot judges? what's life going to be like in this soulless new legal world? will no one stand to defend humans in law? your honor, members of the jury, this is about the essence of humanity itself. because unlike that thing, i went to law school. taught by humans. i spent countless sleepless nights reading, writing, pondering shit, taking drugs-- orally and anally-- all things artificial intelligence can't do. and, quite frankly, i'm sensing

a lot of bias in this courtroom. >> watch yourself, counselor. >> don't you think human emotion is necessary in the law? >> you want answers? >> i want the data! >> you can't haenl the data. >> alex aplay dramatic music. >> son, we live in a world with laws, and those laws are better applied by machines with logic, and my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. >> alexa, turn off. >> nice try. in the case of "ronny chieng versus legal robots," i sentence ronny chieng to death. just kidding. but i real in favor of the robot. system delay. >> i'm going to sue all these robots. >> trevor: ronny chieng, everybody. we'll be right back. thank you very much. ( applause ) you are a hell of a pilot. maybe even better than your dad.

it's time to step out of his shadow. think if i had the patience. let's do this. there's something you need to see. they've evolved. ♪ ready for this? well he's pretty big. fire everything you've got. rated pg-13. how about these right twix® packs? i'm more of a left twix® guy myself. acting like they're the same thing is as ignorant as saying you, a bouncer, is the same as me, a doorman. excuse me, is there a cover? nah, but it's 5 bucks to get in. left and right twix® packs. it's time to deside. at&t gives you more for your thing. your me-time thing. that sunday night date night with hbo allllllll night thing. that island without men or children would be nice to visit thing.

buy an at&t unlimited plan, and get hbo included. more for your thing that's our thing.

♪ ♪ ♪two pieces of chicken, chicken ♪biscuit, biscuit, biscuit ♪mashed potatoeeees

[guitar string tuning] ♪cookie and a driiiiiiiiink all available at kfc for just $5. ♪it's finger lickin' good ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight shares her experiences growing up on a small indian reservation in british columbia in her critically-acclaimed debut book, "heart berries: a memoir." please welcome terese marie mailhot. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome to the show. >> thank you. >> trevor: thank you so much for being here. and thank you so much for this book.

this is an experience that i think few people would envy, but most people could would connect to. it is a memoir of your life that is written, and it's honestly one of the most authentic points of view i've ever come across. when you were writing the book, one thing i wanted to discover from the beginning was, was it hard for you to figure out how to be the voice of american indian people, but at the same time, realize that you're not the voice for american indian people? it's an interesting balance to have. >> yeah, i think when you come from a collective culture, like a community that relies on each other, and when you speak out against violence and against indigenous women, and when you speak out against the way we're treated and the way disparity is working against our bodies and who we are, like, i feel like-- sometimes when i'm talking, i feel representative. and then i remember, oh, this is a singular story. like, this is what happened to

me and i feel like if i speak out, i'm going to encourage other women to do so as well and hold up their voices when they do. and that releaves the pressure. >> trevor: as you're telling your stories, one thing becomes apparent. there are so many thing themes. there's your life on the reservation, your life within the family, which is a different experience as well. you share a heart-wrenching tale when you discover your father was abusing you. what did you go through when you discovered that? and what did you mean by you discovered it? >> yeah, i think when you have-- when you-- i told my mother when i was young that i had been abused by my father, and her reaction was negligent. her reaction was to kind of

question if it really happened, because she couldn't believe it, because it would say something about her as a mother, too, and her ability to protect me. so she kind of didn't deal with it in the right away. again at 16 i let her know again. "i think this happened, mom." i remembered these few details and i told her and trusted her to hold that space for me, but she was not prepared, you know. so i kind of just tried to forget. and i think when you do that active forgetting and you think, okay, well, you know this person didn't listen to me, who i trusted so much. >> trevor: right. >> and who i still trust so much and love so much, you mitigate, and you think, well, i guess it didn't happen, or i guess i misremembered. and then you realize when you're at the age i was, which was, like-- i think i was 32, when i realized, no, i would like to talk about this now, because she is long gone, and all i have is myself. and really need to get over-- you know, i need to look at this, and i need to talk about it. >> trevor: right. >> yeah. >> trevor: and when you look at your experiences growing up and

the world you grew up in and your relationship with your father and your mother, do you find that those things contributed to the stage in the book where you talk about having to institutionalize yourself? and what was that like? what is the conversation someone has with themselves when they go, "i have mental health issues. i need to address this"? is there a shame? is there a fear? and how do you overcome that? p>> yeah, there is a stigma when we are vulnerable and we realize, i'm crying more than i should. i feel debilitated. like, i can't go to work, and i can't function. there's this urge, and people encourage it, that we just get over it and go to work, that we just don't deal with it. but then, you know, i broke down after trying to just get over it and deal with-- you know, deal with the day-to-day aspect of life.

i broke down and i realized my mental health was more important than going to work. and i think i had the luxury at the time that it happened where-- actually, no, i was evicted after i checked myself in. so it really does have these effects. you have to have the luxury of having-- being able to have a breakdown. a lot of people don't, you know. a lot of people can't just check themselves in. when they do, their life is changed forever. and i was just kind of lucky in that things did fall apart after that. but i really-- i wasn't willing to give up hope, you know. that was the last thing-- i'm still holding it, you know,. >> trevor: it's a beautiful story. you have honestly one of the most amazing stories. thank you so much for being on the show. "heart berries," a beautiful memoir, is available now. terese marie mailhot. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) surprise! hold up. we got a laggy video call here. hey, try the new samsung galaxy s9 on verizon unlimited.

the best network for streaming. okay, let's take it back from "surpri--" (avo) unlimited is only as good as the network it's on. switch and get up to $500 off the samsung galaxy s9.