- well, then get an aids test, thompson, 'cause your wife's a dude, faggot. yeah, i'm back! [mouse squeaking] captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the 2k5eu8ee show with trevor noah. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: welcome, everybody. welcome to the daily show, i'm trevor noah. thank you so much for coming out, everybody, sit down, take a seat, thank you so much. my guests tonight from water.org gary white and matt damon, ever. (applause) thanks for coming out in the snow. so let's get into it. we're going to start today's

show with hud secretary ben carson. not only has daylight saves completely rocked his world but he's also been caught up in a scandal involving the purchase of lavish office furniture. he spent tons of money on the stuff and his job is at risk so he thought why not jeopardize my marriage too. >> "the new york times" reports housing and urban development secretary ben carson blamed his wife. >> trevor: what? >> for the decision to buy a $31,000 dining set for his office. carson testified yesterday in public before a house panel blaming the wife. >> the prices were beyond what i wanted to spay. i made it clear that that just didn't seem right to me. and you know, i left it with my wife. i said you know, help choose something. >> trevor: what i am trying to say is, these bitches be shopping.

(laughter) i can't believe ben carson blamed this all on his wife. like that is such a punk ass move. his wife better pray they are never in a hostage situation together, you know, to send a message i will have to kill someone in this room. >> wait, wait, i would like to volunteer my wife. but let's go from the guy who is sleeping on the couch tonight to the guy who sleeps on the couch every night. >> first it was at present is contestant, then the adult film act reese now former playboy playmate filing a lawsuit linked to president trump. >> the porn star stormy daniels released results of a poly graph test as proof that she is telling the truth about sex with trump. the former playboy model karen mcdougal now sues a publishing company that bought her story and her silence. and the former apprentice star summer ver zervos winning winnin court. a judge rejecting president trump's motion to have the case against him dismissed. >> trevor: a porn star, a playmate and a reality show contestant. do you realize right now collusion with russia is the

most dignified charge against trump. well, that's at least until put ingoes not so fast, i have trump dick pique, yeah. also, this quick question, why does trump have pictures with all the women without have accused him of affairs. like in every picture he is posing like they are deli owners, yeah. i'm surprised trump has managed to contain himself because you know deep down i side he wants to brag about having sex with porn stars and playmates. his lawyers are going to have to write in all caps on his notes do not congratulate peanuts, don't! let's move on it our main story, facebook. it is the only website that can both undermine deck om-- democracy and your belief that all babies are cute. get out of here you weird ass baby. now as you probablyhead by now facebook has lost control of its customer's data and people are not happy about it. >> the crisis at facebook intensifies. the federal trade commission putting new pressure on facebook over its failure to protect user

data. >> facebook investors are suing the social media company over massive stock losses in the wake of a major data scandal. they have now lost $9 billion in wealth in just the past two days for mark zuckerberg. >> trevor: oh no he has lost $9 billion. now he only has $70 billion. you realize that's barely enough to furnish ben carson's office, rate? (laughter) you mean my wife's office. seriously, mark zuckerberg is not having a good dairks things are so bad that facebook is showing him ads for xanax. click here. so let's take a minute to break this down. essentially this is a story involving facialbook and a company called cambridge analytica which i know fownsd like a harry potter spell that douse your homework but it is a data an lick company that does one thing, anything out how to manipulate you at all costs. >> beginning in 2014 many facebook users were paid to take a personality test funded by

cambridge analytica agreeing to give up some personal data. but what they didn't know is that theo at the same type the company was scooping up all of their friend's private information too. so a survey that started with about 270,000 people ultimately collected more than 50 million profiles. >> trevor: i'm sor's but that's some bullshit because your friends took am this dumb ass quiz this company you never heard of got access to your account. like your friends bone someone and then you get the std. like what the [bleep] man t was totally worth it. not for me! (applause) now, now you might be saying, what do i care if cambridge analytica got my facebook data, i don't mind that people know that i like ben affleck's back ta too. i think it brings out his eyes. >> but the truth is, in the wrong hands our data can be used to do some pret he sin is ter things within the level about what can be predicted about you based on what you like on facebook is higher than that

your wife would say about you, what your parnlts or friends can say about you. >> cambridge analytica will try to pick whatever mental weakness or vulnerability that we think you have. and try to warp your per sengs of what is real around you. >> trevor: okay, now that should scare you. because if you see movies, you know that when the person with crazy hair gets stressed out, something really bad is going down. like they hacked into the main frame, i wouldn't believe you but you got purple dread locks. and this was really bad. because sure, some people might say this is just like tiegz, sounds like advertising, right. they try to get you to buy something by tugging at your emotions. but there is ten levels above that because traditional advertisers don't know who you are penally. like imagine if samsung knew from facebook data that you lost your data last week. so they put a message on your feed that their new phone could contact your dad on the other side. you would be way more likely to buy that phone. it would tug at your heart, you what be like dad s that you, oh my god, dad, is that you.

can you tell may where you left the keys to the camaro, please, i can't find them, all right, buy, love you. like they could get to you. and we know, we know that cambridge analytica got people's data from facebook. we know they figured out how to use the data to manipulate people what you may not know is who they gave all that power to. >> the data firm hired by donald trump's presidential election campaign used secretly obtained information from tense of millions of unsuspecting facebook user to directly target potential american voters. the entire operation centered around deception, false, grass roots support and a strategy that seemed to border on electronic brain washing. >> trevor: you see using cambridge analytica's tools trump's campaign figured out a way to manipulate people, or as they called it, electronic brain washing. which also happens to be the maim of my famous das punk album, the one that goes, no, no, the other one that goes-- . ♪ is that the-- no, the one

where noat. ♪ yeah, that one, that way. here san example. of how the trump campaign used cambridge analytica tools. they figured occupant the phrase drain the swamp made people angry at career politicians and what make them want to vote for trump, i am not making this up. trump told it to them himself. >> it is a term that was give init me, i like to think them up myself but this was given to me, they had the expression drain the swamp. and i hated it. i thought it was so hokey. i said that is the hokiest, give me a break, i'm embarrassed to say it and i was in florida, where 25,000 people going wild. and i said and we will drain the swamp. the place went crazy. i couldn't believe it. >> trevor: yeah, neither could we. you know, you always think it's unreal stksz when villains reveal their entire scheme and you see this and are you like

you see, mr. bond, unless someone finds the hidden switch under my castle, no one will be able to stop the bomb. that's why-- oh, he's gone, oh no. so thanks to cambridge analytica trump knew drain the swamp would drum up anti-establishment votes. people who might have never voted before. but his thing, don't get it twisted, they might be able to use these tools to push you in a certain direction, but they couldn't completely trick you into voting for donald trump. and you know how we know this, because of this. >> we vrnlt spoken about the fact that ted cruz who was also presidential candidate also used cambridge analytica. his campaign was a disaster. >> trevor: yeah. all the electric brain washing in the world can't make people like ted cruz. all of it. (applause) all of it. like you could hypnotize someone, could you be like are you a dog, you are a chicken. you like ted cruz, i'm not hip no advertise, this is bold, hypnosis doesn't even work, man. basically trump didn't create

new fears in people, right, he found a way to appeal to fears an desires that already existed. you know, they used facebook the same way facebook will be like hey, remember your friend steve from high school except this time it was like hey, remember how are you scared of boun people, yeah. i will be honest with you. the fact that donald trump used cambridge analytica's tools isn't the worst thing that happened here. every politician will use the tools at their disposal to get votes. obama did a similar thing himself. my problem sw facebook. they need to be held accountable because not only did they turn a blind eye to cambridge analytica using this data but they also didn't tell their users that this was happening. at the same time he, though, it sour responsibility to be vigilant like in the year 2018 you have to assume everything you click online, everything you watch, every website you visit will be collecting data on you and that data will be used eventually to try to sell you something. eastern people on the sites you frus are all just trying to sell you something, never forget that. and now, a word from our sponsors. we'll be right back.

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cheergs plaws. >> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. march is women's history month. and to honor it we're looking at the lives of real women whose stories have been overlooked. so once again we turn to desi lydic an dulce sloan for a new episode of shafted. >> goods eveningk i'm dulce sloan. >> and i'm desi lydic. tonight the story of willie may big mama thornton, a trail blazer whose trail was left brutally unblazed. >> what? >> it is the story of a forgotten woman never given her due. >> request didn't you just say that the firs time. >> i don't know. >> growing up mere montgomery alabama willie may always had a passion for singing. i love to sing. ♪ i love to sing.

♪ i at the young age of 15 she won a sinkerrings could contest and eventually signed a record 2k50e8. but one day her life changed forever. when she was approached by some writers with a little song you may know. called hound dog. >> i need for it to be raunchier, you know, like something, if you could shimmy your breasts maybe, one or the other, preferably both at the same time. >> but she had her own style in mind. >> or, what if i did it this way. ♪ you ain't nothing but a hound dog. ♪ just be my door. ♪. >> dod damn. that is so beautiful. >> thank you, white man. >> willie main's soulful rendition of hound dog told the story of a good for nothing man who wants to be taken care of. it was like the great grandmother of no scrub. see a scrub is a guy who thinks

he's sly. >> i know, i think everyone knows. >> in 1953 big mama thornton's hound dog reached number one if on the r&b charts but never crossed over to the pop charts because it was seen as a race record. which is a not so not racist way of saying black music. willie may was shafted but what she didn't know is that there was an even bigger shaft headed her way. and not the good kind. >> see even mainstream society wasn't quite ready to embrace this sound in this package, a few years later her precious soulful hound dog found a new owner, a rising talent who was introduced to the song by a vegas loungee act and decided to put his own spin on it. ♪ you ain't nothing but a hound doug. ♪ crying all the time. ♪ what a cool song about dogs, huh? >> by the way, that really happened. look at that dog, he's like man, why did you bring me into this shit. elvis' version of hound dog was a huge smash and completely

eclipsed willie may's version. while elvis didn't steal the song, he did benefit from a system that made sure his music reached a wider audience, you see elvis was a white man. elvis went on to become one of the greatest icons of all time but despite it all, willie may never lost her gift for expressing emotion in songs. ♪ this is some bull shit. ♪ real, real bullshit. ♪ y'all want him to sing that to a dog too. oh jump suit wearing hip swivelling mother [bleep]. >> will yea may thornton launched an iconic song to have her legacy be washed away. but we remember her, and you can't wash this away, go ahead, dulce, show them yours. >> i told you i want doing that, you know, she had too many names. >> that's all for this week. tune in next time to hear about a woman so talented, so promising, her vagina almost didn't get in the way.

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my doctor says i havey, what's skittles pox. are they contagious? i don't think so. contract the rainbow! taste the rainbow! (applause). >> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. my guest tonight are helping millions of people in developing countries gain access to safe

water and sanitation through the nonprofit they cofounded called water.org and water eck equity, please welcome matt damon and gary white. (applause) welcome to the show, gentlemen. >> thank you. >> trevor: you have a project you started together that really came from two separate projects in and around water. getting water to people. gary, a lot of people don't realize how pervasive this issue is. why is water such a big deal, it sounds like a simple question but why is it such a big deal. >> it is a huge deal for more than 800 million people around the world without don't know where their water is going to come from on a given day. if you think about it, when anybody wakes up in the world tomorrow, nothing else matters to them until they get their water. you know, we get it at the turn of a tap but for hundreds of millions of people that's not the case. so women tomorrow will spend 200 million hours walking to collect

water. kids won't be in school. they will lose 443 million school days this year alone because they are scavenging for water because of water related eu8ness that is why it is such a huge deal. whole families, it is the basic building block that people need to put in place if they are going to move forward. >> trevor: interest t is interesting you say thark the numbers are so high, i was shocked how many people don't have access to water around the world. then you find out how much it costs them. i think of it in a convenience way, oh, you don't get it from the tap, you don't get to wash when you want to, but it actually costs them a lot of money to live this way. >> yeah, in fact a lot of these communities shall the poorest of the poor are paying for their water because they are a live, they are clearly getting water some how, in many cases pay 25g% of their income to secure water, paying ten to 15 times what the middle class in some of these countries are paying. we are always saying it is expensive to be poomplet this burden falls on women and girls

disproportionately. as gary was saying, all these millions of girls are not in school because their job for the family is to find water day in and day out. you can only imagine what the outcome of their life, you know, millions of people not living up to their potential. >> trevor: how is this even an issue that you stumbled upon? because everyone would thif education which is very important. everyone would thif food which i really important. but water, why water? >> well, for me it was traveling to guatemala when i was an undergraduate in university and saw the problem first hand. and then came back and started learning about it. and how massive it was to your point. but i think the redeeming factor about this is that the problem actually contains its own solution. as matt mentioned, you know, there's lots of money that the poor are already extending to cope with this cost. actually hundreds of blls of dollars each year, so what we did was created water credit so folks could get a small loan because the reason they have to pay these water vendors is because they can't get connected to the utility. >> trevor: right. >> it costs a couple hundred

bucks, so we give them a loan so they can get connected and they can buy their time back and work at a paying job and get access to water. >>s when i was growing up it was normal, we disn have a flushing toilet and i would visit my cousins in the homeland in south africa and we would push a wheel bar row to go to the place that had a tap and get all the water, you have seen. this and then we would take it back and that show you would have the thing. i remember the day i remember the day we got the tap in the house. it was a party. like it was nonspop, people losing their shit like wet t-shirt contests. it changes people's lives. people take this for granted. >> yeah, and that's one of the hardest things for us is to try to explain it here in the west because we can't relate. it's not like cancer or aids where people, you go well i have a family member or friend towmped by this. you know, this is such a problem for so many people, but nobody that we know, right. and so that is kind of the first hurdle with ve to clear is just, but the transform tiff effect of getting somebody that connect

is, we've seen t you know, thousands of times. and just the conversations you have with these kids particularly these little girls who suddenly don't have to do this water collection any more. i talked to a girl in haiti six, seven years ago. and i said what are you going to do with all this time am like she was spending four hours a day collecting waterment she was lucky, she was in school. but she would go after school. i said are you going to do homework now. and she looked at me and she was like i'm the smartest kid in my class, you know, she said it in that way where i was lake oh, she is the smartest kid in the class. >> trevor: right. >> so what are you going to do with all of this time. she looked at me and she goes, i'm going to play. >> trevor: wow. >> it just, it dropped me. i didn't lose it in front of her but i was like okay, thanks and walked away. >> trevor: you were jason bournee in front of her and went around the corner. >> and she was-- but she was 13, and my oldest was 13. and you know t is just about, about, you know, giving people hope, giving people a chance toive live up to their potential. letting a 13 year old kid plaws

shouldn't every 13 year old kid be allowed to play. >> trevor: most definitely and you guys are doing things. people have seen the ads on tv for instance stella has the chalises you can buy and if you buy one they provide-- do they say five years. >> five years of water. >> trevor: if you buy one these. and if people want to contribute directly to your organizations what can they do. >> water .org, purchase a chalicee or meak a donation. >> trevor: are you doing amazing things, world water day is tomorrow, thank you for being here. to learn more about their important work and how you can go go to water .org, matt damon and gary white. we'll be right back.

truth or dare. dare. make out with olivia. carter. truth. i'm okay with strangers dying if it means i get to live. the game, it followed us home. this young lady dared me to show you my "business." not impressed. do the dare... screw this. or you die. [ screams ] how do we get out of this game alive? you can't. dare me to choose, which one of you to kill. no! truth or dare?

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my doctor says i havey, what's skittles pox. are they contagious? i don't think so. contract the rainbow! taste the rainbow! ♪ no calories. no sweeteners. all smiles. introducing bubly sparkling water. >> trevor: that's our show for tonight, stay tuned, the opposition with jordan clep certificate coming up neck. here it is your moment of zen. >> meanwhile he ran uno poped -- o powsed in the republican

primary, new a loll cost dennier, excuse me, a holocaust denier is officially the republican nominee for the third congressional captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> jordan: get in here. we are "the opposition." it's already march 21. my opponent tonight is communication director at everytown for gun safety, kate folmar. ( cheers and applause ) i'm sure she's going to get on her soapbox and lecture me about the march for our lives on saturday. now, you guys know i'll be there. i'm going to the front lines tomorrow, by which i mean the terrifying living room of a d.c. area high schooler who is housing students coming in for the march. this will be a gigantic, once in a lifetime television event. but you won't find me promoting it like cnn with some garish