♪ oh ♪ the landslide will bring it down ♪ [laughter and metal clanging] - oh, that's good. i like that! [slide whistle ascending] big harry and mike in the morning talking about two and a half men. i think ashton kutcher makes it the show to be seen, mike. - yeah, but what about that movie dolphin tale? i am psyched for that! - dolphin tale! big harry and mike in the morning. let's hear from the band sledgejammer and their song-- [knock on door] - dude, we're gonna go see the new zookeeper movie. - zookeeper 2: zookeepier! - 'kay. coming.

>> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: how you doing, everybody? welcome! welcome! welcome! ( cheers and applause ) thank you so much! welcome to "the daily show"! thank you so much for tuning in, i'm trevor noah! take a seat! welcome to the show! you guys feel fantastic. welcome to it. our guest tonight tyler perry is joining us, everyone! ( cheers and applause ) it's going to be a really fun chat. but first, let's start with the big news that happened over the weekend. >> students march on washington and cities across the country

against gun violence. >> parkland, florida, new york, washington, minneapolis among the 800 rallies taking place globally. >> they're calling this the largest youth' led protest since the vietnam war era. >> trevor: the largest youth' led protest. give it up for those kids! ( cheers and applause ) that was amazing. did you see that? look at all those kids. it's like a roy moore fantasy come to life. it was, like, so many. there were so many kids like the march looked like every single parent went out of town this weekend and then their kids threw the most prosktive house party ever. it would be impressive enough if these kids just organized hundreds of thousands of people to march, but they also called those people to action. >> parkland survivor emma gonzalez silently demonstrating the amount of time it took the gunman to turn her world upside down. >> since the time that i came

out here, it has been six minutes and 20 seconds. >> among the young people center stage, the 9-year-old granddaughter of dr. martin luther king. >> my grandfather had a dream that his four little children will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. i have a dream that enough is enough! ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: oh! that little girl is so adorable! ( applause ) she's so adorable. but it must be so stressful being a member of the king family because you can't just have normal dreams. ( laughter ) it's, like, hey, honey how did you sleep last night? good. what did you dream about? oh, i dreamt i went to the supermarket naked. you go back and sleep and you don't wake up until your dream inspires people! ( laughter ) props to that girl. she's definitely going places. given that she's m.l.k.'s grand

daughter, the f.b.i. is probably tapping her phone as we speak. ( laughter ) not everyone is on board with this movement. i'm talking about rick santorum. >> how about kids instead of looking for someone to solve their problem, do something like take cpr or deal with situations where there is violence where they can respond to that. >> they took action. >> they took action to ask someone to pass a law. they didn't take action to say how do i as an individual deal with this problem. >> trevor: yeah, according to former u.s. senator rick santorum, citizens asking lawmakers to pass laws is like them passing a buck. he would make a hell of a 911 operator. nin911, there's an intruder in r house? how about you try getting him out instead of asking the police to solve all of your crimes, okay? next call. 911, what's that? a fire? have you thought of cpr? i didn't think so.

please stay online for a quick survey. thank you very much. ( laughter ) clearly people like rick santorum think kids should be shot and not heard but we at "the daily show" disagree. we sent desi lydic to d.c. to connect with the youth. >> as "the daily show"'s junior youth correspondent, i could relate to the high school teens marching against gun violence. you could feel the optimistic energy. these kids had a lot to say. luckily i spoke their language. background checks, fleek, fresh or fam? >> none of those apply, not correct use for background checks. >> n.r.a., wax, salty or bay. >> yonone of the above. >> your consent dank? >> dank. >> teens are organizing the movement not old adults so does it make it cool if they listen and do you think they will take credit for it?

>> it doesn't matter who takes credit for it, it just matters that the change has to come. >> i learned a lot including how to dab. it was clear america's grownups failed at enacting any change, we adults would have to count on the next generation to solve all the rest of our difficult problems. >> all right, american high schoolers. you have started a conversation about guns that could actually move towards legislation. so which one of you wants to take on north korea? perfect. middle east conflict. are you sure you can handle it? you're wearing a choker. immigration reform. yep. and u.s. tax code. which one of you is the biggest nerd. yep, that seems right. okay. so work your team magic on it. when you have all the answers just slide it in my d.n.s. >> our job isn't to solve all the issues. that's congress' job. >> waw you really are young. that is hilarious. do you know what climate change is? >> yes. >> good, because you're going to have to solve it. start with this --

( laughter ) >> trevor: desi lydic, everyone. play ( applause ) now, this weekend's march for our lives may have been the biggest news in terms of quality, but when it comes to news quantity nobody beats president trump. over the span of the weekend, trump made so much news happen that we don't have the time to cover it all. luckily, not enough time is the perfect amount of time for our recurring segment ain't nobody got time for that trump edition. ( applause ) big news of the day, trump is getting tough on russia. >> president trump ordering the expulsion of 60 russian diplomats the united states has identified as intelligence officers, plus he's closing the russian consulate in seattle. the white house says the move comes in respondent to the nerve agent attack on a former russian spy and his daughter in the u.k. >> dozens of russian diplomats have been expelled. they will have, by the way,

about one week to get out of this country. >> trevor: one week? that's not a lot of time to cram all your poisonings in. now with this deadline, russians are going to be running around like perfume salespeople at macy's. going to be like, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead -- nerve gas by kremlin! ( laughter ) you know why trump probably did this? someone probably told him, if you sign this for russia, everyone has to leave the u.s. yeah, i'm free! putin, i'm coming home, baby! not you, sir. oh, damn it, stuck. and he got rid of h.r. mcmaster and replaced him with elderly lorax john bolton. for many people bolton taking over for mcmaster is terrifying. bolton is horny for war with north korea and iran and the s one of the people left who still thinks the iraq war was a good

idea. we could talk about how bolton's policies would throw america into an unending spiral of unwinnable wars but we don't have time because thanks to another trump decision america will have fewer troops. >> president trump issued an issue banning transgender people from serving under the military except for "limited circumstances." >> trevor: i don't understand this decision. if you're looking for brave people to join the military, you don't have to look any further than transpeople. you think it takes guts to fight in syria? try being transand walk into a restaurant in alabama. that's bravery, my friend. ( applause ) so in the span of a weekend transgender soldiers and russians are outer, colonel mustache in, but if that wasn't enough trump kept the government open but not happy. >> president trump signed the spending bill but threatening to

veto because no border wall funded. a monster piece of legislation signed, reluctantly. >> there are some things we should have in the bill but i will is a to congress i will never sign a bill again,ly never do it again into suck. >> trevor: success when people make you do something you don't like. he's being forced to sign a bill he doesn't like and his big threat is he won't do it again. that's the kind of negotiating that left him stuck with eric and don, jr. in the divorce. is that what happened? fine, i'll take those weirdoes this time but next divorce i'm standing my ground! unfortunately, we don't have the time to talk about how trump promised to cut the deficit but spent money like lil' wayne at an outo of network dentist because the trump news that swallowed everything happened when the star of your sex dreams sat down with stormy daniels to discuss her alleged affair with

donald trump. and my friends, it was creepy. >> you had sex with him? >> yes. it started off all about him. just talking about himself. he's, like, have you seen my new magazine? i said, somebody should spank you with it. around i said turn around and give him a couple of swats. since that, he quit talking about himself and he asked me things, i asked him things and it became more appropriate. >> trevor: ewwww, donald trump likes to be spanked? i did not know that. when spanked, he becomes a nice guy and starts opening up? you know bob mueller is watching this interview, right? and he's going to walk into the interrogation room with a rolledup magazine and say, okay, donald, time to talk about russia. ( laughter )

( applause ) donald will be, like, it started with, ow! a meeting wow! at trump tower, ow! i have been a bad boy. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) you could simulate confidence or you could experience it for real at the lexus command performance sales event. lease the 2018 nx 300 for $339 a month for 36 months. experience amazing at your lexus dealer.

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fetch me a bare na... (whoosh and dog bark) (bear growl / scream) crunch ( cheers and applause ) welcome back to "the daily show." this saturday we saw millions marching in the streets across this country, voicing their opinions about guns. roy wood, jr. went to the great state of montana to report on another side of the discussion. >> we heard about the march for our lives in d.c., but there was another march going down all the

way out in helena, montana. out here at this march, people were taking a stand for the real victims of gun violence. guns. >> we're blessed to live in a state that believes in individual rights -- >> if it wasn't for donald trump and the second amendment right now we would be gone. >> that's why they're out celebrating guns of all types. >> we're gun tote total -- gun g americans. >> do you think the founding fathers would approve of the ar-15? >> i want a tank. >> you're out here for the tank rally? >> yeah. >> they have a solution to stop school shootings. >> we should have armed teachers. >> we would be willing to bring them in and train them for free. >> all teachers? >> if they could pass a background check. >> dude, our teachers can't pass a background check they're high as (bleep). >> i want our kids to be safe. >> safer to have gun. >> is this firearms keep people

absolutely safe. >> filling our schools with guns isn't the only solution. >> clear backpacks so you know the student doesn't have a gun or something dangerous in the backpack. >> i thought everybody was supposed to have a guns. >> well, schools, but if it's a gun-free zone then you don't want guns there. >> but you just side we needed more guns in school. >> no, i said what we also need is clear backpacks. >> what else? what is the answer to stopping school shootings? >> all right, so i have been a cage fighter for ten years. >> trevor: what? >> cage fighter. so i made a living -- you're stepping back. one of the things somebody always said is man we should get this in one of our high schools. >> trevor: we could stop people from getting guns or advocate cage fighting. >> in a heart beat? but it was the real mission to exposed a hidden truth about the "march for our lives." this is the real march?

>> they were paid by liberal democrats to do that. >> somebody paid for half a million people go to d.c. >> absolutely, it's all over the internet. >> what about the parkland students themselves? >> paid actors to say that. >> it's hard to debate a subject when the opposite side -- >> got shot at. >> is shouting. >> shot at, not shouting. >> a lot of the guys are crisis actors. >> you don't think they're actual students of parkland? >> do you? >> nicholas cruz, how did he know how to target specifically the school where the cry sis actors were attending? >> okay, so -- ( laughter ) ( applause ) well, i'm sorry but you just opened up something that could be a conspiracy. i never thought about that before. >> trevor: that's what we need, more conspiracies. but the conspiracy i was on to was even though this was a pro-gun rally, something seemed missing. do you have your gun with you today?

>> no. >> trevor: you go -- >> you go to a pro gun rally without your gun, like a sober on bud island. >> i did not bring my gun. >> why didn't you wear your gun here today? >> that is actually -- >> turns out the organizers told these folks not to bring their guns because they were worried about safety issues. ( laughter ) but for all of their guns, guns, guns, these second amendment mother (bleep) were also pretty down with the first which meant anybody could come up to the stage and speak. >> i know roy over here wants to say a word as well. >> this is the march that all the cameras should be at. i've learned today that guns make people safe. ( applause ) which is why we didn't bring our guns today because we understand that. (silence) ( applause ) well, that didn't work.

but luckily this rally ended the way all big rallies do, with a big ass pizza party and that's something i'll happily open carry. >> trevor: roy wood, jr., everybody! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) you're paul!

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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight has 20 feature films, 20 plays, nine tv shows, and a major film studio to his name. he wrote, produced and directed his latest film called "tyler perry's acrimony." ( laughter ) >> this is the building you say we will riff in. so proud of you. >> thank you. >> sorry i'm late, babe. hi. i'm deanna. i'm robert's fiancé. >> trevor: please welcome tyler perry! ( cheers and applause )

♪ >> why the hell did it take so long for me to be invited here, man. >> trevor: what do you mean? you are tyler perry, an extremely busy person. you have 20 films under your belt, 20 plays, a production studio. >> i heard you say that. >> trevor: you have a lot of things going on. you are extremely successful. when you started off, when you were doing your first madea, did you think it would get to this? did you think one day madea would gross $500 million? >> hell, no, or i wouldn't have done it. >> trevor: you sound like trump with the presidency. >> wouldn't do a presidency. no, that's frickin' annoying, man, to be a guy in that costume and doing it that long. >> trevor: acrimony touches on topics so many can relate to. it's love gone wrong, people questioning each other in terms of infidelity, cheatinger or not

cheating. where do you get the stories from? what life are you living? because this is a theme -- i notice whenever you put a pen to paper. >> no, i'm a counselor to a lot of my friends and a lot of my friends have gone through this. what fascinated me about writing this story, si would hear her story, i would hear his side and they weren't the same. and i thought, why don't i write a movie where do you have people telling their dueling stories and let the audience decide who's telling the truth. >> trevor: i like it you were sitting there and your friends said, and my heart was broken -- >> oh, yeah, that was a great line. >> trevor: i couldn't live with him -- >> yeah, that's great. don't call me with an issue. >> trevor: i remember when i went to atlanta, someone said what's that? i was, like, like -- they were,, that's tyler perry's movie studios. i laughed but they said, no, that's tyler perry movie

studios. you have built a studio bigger than warner brothers and you are still building the studio. ( applause ) on to have -- on top of that, i believe this may be the first wholly-black-owned studio in america. >> that's right, yes. >> trevor: that's a big deal for many reasons. why do you feel it's so important for you to own your own studio and have a black-owned stew owe. >> there is an amazing thing happening now, everybody is getting a chance to tell their stories, lisa ray, donald glover, "black panther," all the great things happening, but ownership is the key to make sure the longevity stays. i own everything. i would not sell the script, the tv studios, to have "black panther" and the other movies shot there is phenomenal because ownership is the key to generational wealth and changes, and that's what black people need to learn. >> trevor: that's amazing,

man. you've made a lot of money doing it. is there one thing money has changed in your life you would never want to let go of? >> yeah. ( laughter ) >> trevor: what is ut? >> just to not have to fly on a commercial plane is really cool. i know it's not a small thing, but it's really, really cool. what are you looking at me like that, trevor. >> trevor: i thought you would be like madagascan grapes. flying on my plane is a thing i enjoy. just you on a plane? >> don't act like you're not doing the same thing, buddy. >> trevor: no, but i have people because we're going to a comedy festival. do you go sit in the other seats and play other characters? ( laughter ) you've got to do that just to make the plane feel full. >> you will be happy to know tomorrow 12 people will be on the plane. >> trevor: i thought it was just you and then you would think it's nice, then go to another seat and say, mmm, madea also thinks it's nice!

>> that's rich. thanks, man. i appreciate it. >> trevor: thanks for being on the show. acrimony will be in theaters march 30th, tyler perry, everybody! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) wrrchg