with a little more cash. i got a little more saved. i think that going to eat a $65 porter house steak might up the ante a little bit. >> yes, it will. the unspeakable things that come into play if you buy me a $65 porterhouse. >> i'm writing a book about the end of ageism and it's got two chapters, believe it or not. >> two chapters? >> i have 700 pages written on this. i live in spokane, washington. i'm not a creepy guy. >> convincing enough. there you go. for all the girls watching in the spokane area. >> i think you should contact me on the internet and come have the $65 steak. if that's not you, fine,

whatever, coward. >> a man offers are you $65 cut of beef. you better get your ass up and stop being a god dammed coward. all right. good night. >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: thank you so much! welcome to "the daily show"! thank you for tuning in, i'm trevor noah! our guest tonight, the star of "law and order svu" and the new producer of the new hbo documentary "i am evidence," mariska hargitay is here, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) first, after it was revealed

87 million facebook users cambridge an lit cars, everyone wanted answers and you could tell because everyone was posted open facebook. when the american people are deeply concerned, you know what congress does -- nothing. in this case, they summoned mr. facebook himself to the principal's office to explain what facebook is doing with our information. i'm not going to lie, i don't know if it's just because i've never seen him with other humans, but it seems corkberg sent a robot version of himself. looks like he's in west world right now. can we play the audio from the clip? ( robot sounds ) yeah, i thought so. i thought so. now, look, i think we can all agree that because facebook has so much power and influence they need to be held accountable. they need to be accountable to someone. but i think we can also agree that the people facebook is

accountable to maybe shouldn't be these guys. >> i'm communicating with my friends on facebook and indicate that, uh, i love a certain kind of chocolate and, all of a sudden, i start receiving advertisements for chocolate. what if i don't want to receive those commercial advertisements? >> trevor: what? ( laughter ) then just stop writing about chocolate! i'm sure your friends will be okay not hearing about it for once! i love chocolate. it's 5:00 a.m. senator! go to bed! it's like forrest gump became a senator. what is this? i love chocolate, so much chocolate. ( laughter ) in a way, i feel like zuckerberg has experienced the worst punishment of all. he had to explain four hours explaining facebook to senior set sens. that's it, he served his time, people. but let's move on from

zuckerberg to another man who should prepare himself for questioning, michael cohen, president trump's personal lawyer and vip customer at joseph a. bank. ( laughter ) yesterday, thanks to the f.b.i., he had a really, really bad day. >> let's start with those dramatic raids on the office and home of president trump's personal attorney michael cohen. >> the referral from special counsel robert mueller led to the search warrants targeting michael cohen and investigators found e-mails, financial documents and some client communications possibly involving president trump. we're told cohen is under investigation for possible bank fraud, cam pan finance violations an and other crimes connected to the 2016 election. >> trevor: this is ridiculous, even trump's lawyer is being investigated? how corrupt is your circle if your lawyer uses his one phone call to call you? ( laughter ) seems like everyone in trump's world is corrupt. i bet when he goes to confession

he's, like, forgive me father, for i have sinned. and the priest is saying, wait till you hear the shit i have been getting into, wait till i tell you! just kidding, trump doesn't know about church. ( laughter ) it's a bigger deal when the lawyer raided is michael cohen because to trump he is more than just a lawyer. >> my job is i protect mr. trump. that's what it is, if there's an issue that relates to mr. trump that is of concern to him, it's, of course, of concern to me, and i will use my legal skills within which to protect mr. trump to the best of my ability. >> at the trump organization he's done a bit of everything, running a mixle martial arts company, securing real estate branding deals and even taking care of transportation. >> you know the famous trump plane, there was an engine issue that he actually took care of and got a really good deal on. >> trevor: just what you want in an airplane, a discount

engine. ( laughter ) you're going to be crashing, like, oh, we're going to die! but at a greatly reduced rate! so much savings! ( laughter ) yeah, basically, michael cohen is trump's go-to guy for everything. so if trump has ever done anything shady, which i know sounds ridiculous, but stick with me here, this f.b.i. raid has a good chance of finding it, which is why yesterday president baby got a little crampingy. >> so i just heard they broke into the office of one of my perm attorneys, good man, and it's a disgraceful situation. it's a total witch hunt. it's an attack on our country, in a true sense. it's an attack on what we all stand for. >> trevor: al that's right, it's an attack on what we all stand for. you know, the american ideals of life, liberty and the pursuit of having a lawyer pay off your side chick. ( laughter ) now, in trump world, what's happening here is a giant

conspiracy, right? it's robert mueller trying to take trump down for political reasons. the only issue with that argument is the conspiracy would have to involve every single person in law enforcement. >> explain how many hoops they had to go through to get this raid of michael cohen's office? >> robert mueller did not make this decision. it seems he came upon some sort of potential criminal activity. he then hands it off effectively to rod rosenstein, deputy attorney general, and says, look, we found this, you decide what to do with it. rod rosenstein makes a referral and says so the southern district of new york, here's what we've got, you decide what to do with this. then the u.s. attorney for the southern district of new york makes a decision to then seek out a search warrant. a judge then signs off on it. the standard for a judge to sign off on this is high. >> trevor: okay, that doesn't sound like a witch hunt to me because witch hunts were really simple, right? back then it was just like, she

sh rank my penis! burn her at the stake! ( laughter ) that's pretty much all you needed. we're hearing way too much legal procedure to be considered a witch hunt. if people in salem had this kind of due process, they would have never burned anyone. she sh rank my penis, let's burn her at the stake. first fill out this official complaint. >> then burn her! >> no, we have to wait to see what the witnesses say and how big your penis actually used to be. you know what? forget it, man, i actually made up the witch thing because hester wouldn't let me smash. i'm going to tell the truth. ( laughter ) you can tell this raid has trump rattled because this morning the president tweeted this. >> the president went to bed fuming and woke ranting. this morning he wrote this, "attorney-client privilege is

dead!" ( laughter ) >> trevor: went to bet ranting, woke up fuming. oooh, oooh, aaahhh! aaahhh! ( laughter ) poor trump, i imagine him in bed this morning just tears streaming down his face, like, no! my attorney-client privilege is dead! at least i've still got you, white privilege, don't ever leave me. don't ever leave me! ( applause ) look, the fact is, attorney-client privilege doesn't apply when prosecutors have probable cause to believet that you and your lawyer were committing a crime together. it doesn't work. so i think it's pretty clear that trump is probably just shouting out legal terms he's heard on law and order. tomorrow he will be, like, objection, double jeopardy, your honor, habeas corpus. ( laughter ) like, investigating a lawyer's document is still a very serious issue. so for more on this, we turn to our correspondent who was most

recently in court, michael che, che -- michael costa, everybody! this is a complicated issue. how does attorney-client privilege work in this case? >> i'm not a lawyer. i'm just a guy who took a plea deal and has to stay 20 feet away from the denny's. i'll let jeffrey toobin explain. >> you establish a taint team which goes through all the documents, a group of lawyers to determine which are covered by the attorney-client privilege and which are not. that taint team then turns over to the investigators the documents that are appropriate to look at. the taint team is not involved in the investigation. >> that's right, there's a taint team. ( laughter ) i'm glad you had me on, trevor, because, too often, the taint is ignored. allow me to elaborate with this chart i keep with me.

this illustrates how investigators deal with attorney-client privilege. you see, trevor, this circle represents documents pertinent to the criminal investigation while this circle represents documents that prosecutors are not allowed to see, and this very sensitive area right in the middle, that's where the they want team works. >> trevor: that seems like an important job. >> yeah, this is a crack team of lawyers we're talking about here. experts in probing, which is necessary because if you stray too far in the wrong direction, things can start to get a little hairy. ( laughter ) >> trevor: so, michael, what exactly is the taint team sniffing around for? >> well, trevor, they're looking for what's known in legal circles as all notable documents under surveillance or the acronym a.n.u.s. >> trevor: you said all notable documents, where's the d.?

>> the d.'s up here. >> trevor: i understand why you're no longer allowed in denny's. >> well then i've done my job. >> trevor: michael costa, everyone. we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause )

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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show"! all month we have been celebrating our bracket tournament third month mania. this time we pitted the past year 64 biggest moments of bullshit against each other. 32 pieces of bullshit from donald trump and 32 pieces of brusht from the rest of the world which we felt was an even match. tonight after six rounds and 2 million of your vote, we finally have a winner. to crown the champ, let's turn to our very own bullshitters roy wood, jr. and michael kosta! ( cheers and applause ) >> welcome to third month mania finals. this is what it's all about, people, the arthur a bullshit

championship trophy. >> yes, it is, kosta. people lie straight-faced their whole lives for this. but this year only two contestants were bullshit enough to reach the final round. president trump's claim that the charlotteville nazi protest had very fine people on both sides going up the conspiracy theater that the parkland shooting survivors were crisis actors. >> in the semifinals the parkland crisis actors bullshit barely beat out tucker carlson saying "the united states ended slavery around the world and maybe we should get some credit for that." ( audience reacts ) >> wait, some credit? now white people want reparations for slavery? >> if you think about it, roy, if we didn't end slavery, who would? >> that's a good point. good point. ( laughter ) to get to the finals, trump's

very fine people bullshit defeated his claim that he had "the biggest crowd in the history of inaugural speeches." >> that's bigger bullshit than when i fake a limp to board airplanes early. >> how do you sleep? >> in the exit room. ( laughter ) when the dust settles, down to finalist. on the trump side, the president saying the charlottesville nazi rally had fine people on both sides. >> that's the one that should go all the way. how are you going to say nazis are good people? >> you don't think romle would have helped jump start your car in the winter or send your mom an edible arrangement on your birthday. you sound intolerant. >> serious? >> i'm bullshitting. it's what we do. >> got me. as crazy as that quote was, it had to go head to head with the conspiracy theory that the parkland students are crisis

actors. >> such bullshit, roy. we know if you're an actor playing a high schooler, you're at least 30 years ol'. i mean, like, luke perry, really? luke perry served in world war ii. >> that's true. he got a couple of medals. the big moment, time to crown a champion. we have the envelope. >> i'm nervous. >> are moonlight jokes still cool? >> no, bullshit. >> the winner of the 2018 third month mania for the year's best bullshit, by your vote of 61% to 39%. the winner is -- very fine people on both size! unbelievable! >> wow! ( cheers and applause ) >> this was a once in a lifetime bullshit! look at this! >> crazy! congratulations! and now we honor this incredible bullshit by retiring its jersey and sending it up to the rafters forever. >> there it is.

♪ ♪ >> (trump) you also had people who were very fine people on both sides. very fine people on both sides. you also had people that were very fine people on both sides. very fine people on both sides ." >> another fine tournament on both sides. thanks to everyone who voted. >> this is just so much bullshit. >> yeah. >> and if you didn't vote, that's some bullshit. >> that's some bullshit, too. >> back to your, trevor. >> trevor: michael kosta, roy wood, jr., everybody! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) hey did you ever hear from michelob ultra? i got it! so, i'm training for this big role, it's a michelob ultra commercial. i am the spokesman. i am captain michelob. i like beer! so sorry. this is yours. and relax. pratt: you've got to be fit. you've got to love michelob ultra.

it's not like anyone else could do this. name? pardon? what is your name? chris pratt. over there bud, thanks. pa: mhm.

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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is an award-winning actor and advocate for sexual assault survivors and the producer of the new hbo documentary "i am evidence." >> once i get rid of the shock of it, we discovered the kits, i'm not surprised. the victims of these -- that are attached to these kits are overwhelmingly women and very few report and those that are report are historically treated very badly. it's not just the fact that nobody cared about these women. it's not the fact they treated them with no dignity. it's the fact that they were violated in the most intimate of ways and nobody gave a damn. nobody gives a damn about women in this country. >> trevor: please welcome mariska hargitay. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to the show. >> thank you. i am very happy to be here.

>> trevor: this is so much fun having you because, i mean, like, law and order i've watched my whole life and i've watched your show in south africa, it's big. and i always wondered when you play a character like olivia benson for as long as you have, do you feel like you know the law? do you feel like you are in law enforcement sometimes? >> absolutely, i feel like i do, and i'm also somebody that jumps in and gets confused about what my real job is. ( laughter ) there have been times in my life where i've seen something on the street and i jump in like, hey! put that down! get in here! and i've done it so many times i'm, like, mariska, you need to calm down. >> trevor: the show is a different one. law and order has so many spinoffs but special victims unit connected with people in a visceral way. you went through an experience that people who were victims and survivors of sexual assault or harassment reached out to your character, like they wrote you fan mail and asked you for help.

they actually went, i need your help. do people not know your character wasn't real or was it something else? >> you know, i think that, for so long, survivors have been living in a culture of shame and isolation. when i started the show, i started -- i'd come off e.r. >> trevor: right. >> so when you're getting normal fan mail you get, hi, i love your show, can i get an autographed photo? all of a sudden, when i started svu, after the show has been airing for a while, i started getting a very different kind of fan letter with victims actually disclosing their stories of abuse, many for the first time. signing they went to this fictionalized character that maybe was the first person that showed empathy and compassion and they knew that olivia was always for the victim first and felt safe there and, hopefully, now that is indeed changing.

>> trevor: this documentary, i think, is in many ways a culmination of that journey because this story is illuminating in so many different ways. we learn about these rape kits that are taken. we learn about the experiences of these women who have survived these horrific incidence, and then we learn that there are just backlogs. there are kits sitting on shelves and rapists are walking free in the streets. some people may say, okay, that's bad, but there's a story in particular where one woman's rape was tied to another woman's rape 13 years later. is this a story that you come across often? >> well, you know, the rape kit backlog, which, of course, after we found that there were, you know -- this was the same story in every city. >> trevor: right. >> and they are estimated hundreds of thousands of rape debts sitting in police storage facility, and there are so many reasons to test these debts, but not testing them clearly sends a message to survivors saying, you

don't matter, and your kit doesn't matter and your case doesn't matter and it certainly tells perpetrators, well, doesn't matter, continue. >> trevor: right. >> what we learned is that by putting the dna in the codis, which is the national database, we kept fiending heads and that there were so many serial rapists in detroit. i think out of 11,000 kids, ther --11,000 kits, there were 9 serial rapists. >> trevor: it is a story that is enraging, it is frustrating and, at the same time, uplifting because of what we see in the documentary. we see the work that your organization is doing, we see the work that these women are doing fighting this process. what can be done, though. >> the good news is joyful heart, my foundation i founded in 2004, has made the rape kit backlog our number one advocacy

priority. so we have made the six pillars of legislation that we're trying to push through, and we are changing legislation in every state. so you can go to endthebacklog.org and find out what you can do, write to your legislators, write to your congressmen, and we can change it. we just have to be persistent and never give up. >> trevor: i think that sounds amazing. ( cheers and applause ) >> thank you so much. >> trevor: "i am evidence" debuts monday april 16 at 8:00 p.m. on hbo and for more information open about how you can help, visit endthebacklog.org. mariska hargitay, everybody. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ experience a blend of refined craftsmanship... ...and raw power, engineered to take the crown. presenting the all-new lexus ls 500 and ls 500h. experience amazing, at your lexus dealer.

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