all ready to trick or treat?! yeah, no, i've been ready for a couple hours now. cool, i just wanna put on some lip gloss. do these stockings go with this outfit? i thought maybe i should use the red ones... is it cold out? you think i should put a hoodie on over this? nah, covers up my costume too much, don't you think? okay, all ready. oh, wait! hang on. i can't decide if i should wear leggings or not. is it gonna be cold? should i just -- . >> trevor: from. >> from comedy central's world new headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah! (cheers and applause). >> trevor: thank you very much. welcome to the daily show, everybody. thank you so much for tuning inment i'm threfer noah thank you, thank you so much. you're far too kind.

my guest tonight, my guest tonight is the star of brooklyn nine-nine and he's in deadpool 2. my workout buddy, terry crews is here, everybody. i do the counting, he does the lifting. but first the story that is tearing the country apart harder than an army of russian bots within the big question on social media this morning, laurel or yanny, listen closely and decide. >> laurel, laurel, laurel. >> what do you hear? is it laurel or yanny? >> yanny. >> yanny. >> i got, okay, i'm laurel. >> what do you hear. >> laurel. >> what do you hear? >> yamy with two m. >> we all hear laurel. >> the control room all hears yanny. >> trevor: and i hear idiots. for the last 24 hours this was all anyone could talk about. and everyone had different theories trying to figure out if

maybe like different types of people heard different things lake maybe old people heard laurel, and young people heard yanny. or black people heard laurel objected the police heard he's got a gun. you know what we need, we just need president trump to tell us what he heard and then everyone will immediately know what they think. be like i heard yanny and be like clearly it's laurel then. this nation was founded on a belief that it is laurel, that is what st. in other news, everybody is a comedian. no, no, seriously, everybody. >> a mystery has surrounded two pages of ann frank' diary and now we are learning what was hidden on those pages covered up by brown paper. thanks to new imaging technology research has uncovered four dirty jokes and the girl's thoughts on sex education and prostitution. >> trevor: wow. anne frank wrote a bunch of dirty jokes in her diary. this has completely upended my per accepting of who she was.

i mean like what's next, we're going to find out that mother theresa secretly posed for playboy, what will we find out, you think she would be knew, no, she just posed, still the same person. here is one the dirty jokes she wrote. she wrote do you know why the german girls of the armed forces are in the netherlanders? as a mattress for the soldiers. yeah. now i don't think that that joke is the most offensive but it does show you what a good person ann frank was. because she covered those jokes in her diary because she felt bad. she was like i know they're nazis but what i said was still really mean. it was almost like she was genuinely worried the german soldiers found her jokes and what would be like vas ist das, wow, really, anne, not cool, okay, we also have feelings, okay. but let's move on to our main tor story, while much of the world is to us canned on which nuclear conflict will destroy us, back in the u.s. the president's cabinet is forging

ahead. just look at bet see de vos, serving education and the stepmom whose definitely killed the original mom. de vos has been criticized for not doing more to support strug you will-- struggling schools. the good news is she is finally stepping up to provide some help. the bad news is it is to the wrong school. >> the education department is unwinding the unit, investigating fraud at for-profit colleges. members of that team have reportedly been marginalized or rea siendz. it has effectively killed investigations into possible fraudulent activities at several large for-profit colleges. these are schools that allegedly were misrepresenting their enrollment benefits, job placement and programming offer often leading students with big debts and no degrees. >> trevor: so betsy de vos is stopping the people who are stopping the fraud. she's like a reverse superhero, you know. flies into a bank robbery to help the robbers. stop right there, thieves. you need to turn it this way to open the vault. there you go, and kill that woman with the baby. she saw your faces. now if you are not familiar with

for-profit colleges, they are the shady schools whose ads you probably know from tv. >> i love learning new things in my pa jam as-- pajamas and i'm not the only one. every day thousands of people go to college, online in their pajamas and never leave home. >> i'm so ictc. >> college, college. >> hi, i'm percy miller also known as master t. the key to success, starts by getting a solid education. i said set goals, built my empire, and made education a top priority. >> trevor: nothing says education like not being able to pronounce the word success, how are you ignoring the c in sussess when are you standing right on top of it. but despite what master p says many of these for-profit schools are allegedly scams am you see, they put students into deep debt, right, without teaching

them useful skills or training them for good jobs. and thanks to government investigations we've learned just how false their advertising actually is. >> the federal trade commission says devie university de-- devy deceived students about chances of getting a job and increasing income after education. >> the education management kormings claims job success for this fashion marketing grad, this accounting major and business krad, their own documents show this one is actually working for minimum wage selling shoes. one works at mcdonald's, the other a janitor. >> trevor: now that's not right, an accounting major works as a mcdonald's cashier, that is not right. is he stealing jobs from english majors. (laughter) and look, look, don't get me wrong there is no shame in being a mcdonald's cashier, i just think if you go $100,000 in debt, you want a job that offers you a greater level of financial sussess. now the obama administration crackdown on for profit schools

for deceptive practices. it helped push some of them out of business and force others like devy university to pay more than a hundred million dollars in settlements but now under bet sea de vos the education department is shutting these investigations down. which makes sense when you learn who she put in charge of them. >> the team of vect investigatedders believe it or not is lead by a former dean at devry university, one of the school's under investigation. >> secretary of education betsy de vos installed julian schmoke who was the former dean of devry university to head the unit. >> trevor: that's right, she a pointed a former dean from one the schools accused of fraud to investigate the to head the yoont of the schools. i wish she was doing the hire the criminals to catch the other criminals but this feels more like swampy economics 101 considering betsy de vos has major nngs interest in for

profit colleges. under de vos fraudulent for profit scales look poised to make a come back which is why we at the daily show got roy radioed, jr. to make their ads more accurate. >> what's up, it's your boy roy wood, jr. also known as round the way roy. are you looking to spend 100,000 dollars you don't have to get a degree that won't help you find a job in then you've got to go to devroy university we train you for all kinds of great jobs that might not exist, marketing hygienist or packing. and the best part is we will let you take your classes in your own bed. no college does that. >> i thought were you going to class. >> i am in class! call devroy college and destroy your credit rating today. (applause) now that's what i call sussess. now that's what i call sussess. we'll be right back.

growing up i didn't have anyone who looked like me. that's why i started my blog to inspire people to be themselves. the surface laptop has already made me more productive. i'm creating mood boards. i'm editing content. or i'm running around new york with a huge bouquet of balloons. so having a light laptop is a game changer. plus the battery life on the surface lives forever. my blog is sometimes about fashion, sometimes about sprinkles. it's usually always about color. find what makes you different, because that sets you apart from everyone else. ♪ ♪ when i'm gone when i'm gone ♪ ♪ you're gonna miss me when i'm gone ♪ ♪ you're gonna miss me when i'm gone ♪ ♪ gone gone gone when i'm gone ♪ like the crisp, cold some refreshment of busch.hange. but some things should... like mike's aim. mike! toss me a busch!

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