ignored the boundaries of good taste and too off aimed for the lowest common denominators. i've made hurtful remarks, and all the gay jokes, combined with poor acting and lazy writing were the norm. we've never evolved, even as the world has changed around us. and for that, i am truly sorry, not sorry. if i've learned anything from my mistakes, it's go down guns blazing, two fingers up, i don't give a [ bleep ]. i'm doubling down. i'll do the show out of spite, you pussies. time to get on my cycle and ride off into the sunset. good night. have a great summer. see you in september. >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york,

this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! thank you so much for tuning in! i'm trevor noah! my guest tonight, star of the new movie "action point" and the man who won our hearts by crushing his nuts, johnny knoxville is here, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) but first, but first, we were off for a week and it's so great to be back on the air. so much happened while we were gone. we got the british remake of "get out." god himself got #metoo'd. we'll be able to binge watch the

obamas, the naval announced players are welcomed to publicly protest as long as they do it in private. my favorite story is what happened in france, a story that climbed to the top of the news. >> a man who migrated from west africa to paris hailed a hero after a diring spiderman-style rescue of a 4-year-old. this is an amateur video that captured the boy dangling in a balcony saturday. mamadou gassama scaled the building, climbed to the fifth floor just in time to save the boy's life. the french president aworded him with citizenship and a job as a firefighter. ( applause ) >> trevor: i'm shocked every time i watch that. i wouldn't climb that high for my own baby. ( laughter ) although i am proud of him, i am a bit disappointed he gave the game away for other africans.

you can't let white people know we can do that kind of stuff. supposed to keep the wakanda stuff on the down low. every time the white people can't find their phone, it's, damn africans, they must have climbed in -- oh, yeah, they can do that. they can dhoovment it's cool france gave this guy citizenship. all the other migrants will try to save kids. every other game of hide and seek will be broken up by africans. i found him! he was behind the kittens! i'm a citizen now, yes? it shows you why every country needs immigrants. they work so much harder. at the bottom of the video, a white guy is also trying to climb up. ( laughter ) ( applause ) yeah. that's the result of ten

generations eating croissants and puffed pay industries. that's what that is. so congratulations. but let's move on to today's big news breaking in hollywood. >> this is cnn breaking news. >> abc has canceled "roseanne" because of racist tweets by the famous star. among them, this one, "planet of the apes" had a baby equals v.j.." v.j. stands for valerie jarrett, the former senior advisor to president obama. >> trevor: that's right, roseanne's show canceled because she tweeted out racist stuff. you know who i blame for this? donald trump. because he makes all his supporters think they're as impervious as he is. he's, like, come on, you can tweet whatever you want, nothing happens! but it's not same for everyone else. it's like he's superman telling everyone to follow his lead.

we can all stand in front of a speeding train, come on, people! splat, splat, splat, splat, not so bad! roseanne is out because of twitter. speaking of twitter, if you logged on this weekend, you probably noticed something big. i got a new banner, that was one thing. ( laughter ) for real. and you probably noticed the trending topic #where are the children. mostov you were probably, like, i wonder what this is about? and some of you were thinking, oh, shit, the jig is up. ( laughter ) but the #is about this. >> "the washington post" reports the u.s. lost track of nearly 1,500 immigrant children in the last three months of last year. they crossed the bored were mexico on their own and taken into custody. they were placed with adult sponsor in the u.s. last month the department of def health and human services officials say the agency had lost track of them. >> trevor: the department of health and human services lost 1,500 immigrant children.

how do you lose 1,500 children? if you want to find them let r. kelly sniff their clothes. come on, pide piper, use your powers for good! ( laughter ) if your opinion only reading the headlines and tweets, you would have thought the trump administration captured and lost 1,500 kids. people online lost their shit. this is an outrage! how could donald trump lose our precious immigrant babies! i'm so angry i could scream! that's how it starts. someone reads a headline, start a hashtag, do theirin' hashtag route research and that cause as snowball of outrage. but the truth is trump hasn't lost any kids. >> there may be a reason the kids can't be found. they don't want to be. >> the department of health and human services say they are not missing but unaccounted for because sponsors have refused to respond to follow-up calls.

sources in shelters say some sponsors could be undocumented as well and don't want to interact with u.s. immigration officers. >> trevor: turns out the immigrant kids aren't lost by trump, they just don't want contact with anyone in the trump administration. sort of like melania. (laughter ) at the same time this was happening, another misinformed immigration scandal blew up online. someone tweeted these photos of the u.s. government holding undocumented children in cages. and again, without doing research, people online lost their shit. the president has caged our precious children! he's milking them like cows! what has become of our republic image! once again, the people didn't get their facts straight because these kids unfortunately were sleeping in cages, but this picture was from 2014 when the president was slightly less tan. right. what was weird for me is when people thought it was trump, they were, like, what kind of monster would put children in

cages?! then they found out it happened under obama and they're like, look, sometimes kids gotta be caged, you know, and cages are complicated, you know, nicolas cage, the birdcage, the point is, i've deleted my tweet but still impeach! i understand people care about the issue, but sometimes it pays to slow down. take a breath. lead past headlines before we share misleading stories trump will use to discredit all other news. he's going to do it and did it with this story. so trump didn't lose 1500 kids and his administration didn't put those kids in cages, all right? but continue worry, you can still hate him. ( laughter ) because he and haze administration have started doing something way worse. >> attorney general jeff sessions announced tough new immigration policies that will go into effect soon that will separate parents and children caught illegally crossing the

border. >> if you are smuggling a child, then we will prosecute you, and that child may be separated from you as required by law. >> trevor: how can someone so cute be so evil? ( laughter ) because although trumple stilskin is smiling while saying it, this is heartless. there are less cruel ways to discourage people from coming into the u.s. instead of taking their kids away, why not force everyone crossing illegally to look at this picture of ted cruz at the rockets game? why not do that? yeah. i don't blame james harden for missing all those shots. imagine trying to play with that face in the crowd. you tell me you would make a shot. i wouldn't be surprised if harden made a shot, saw cruz smile and say, i'm never doing that again. ( laughter ) this isn't just how this policy separates kids from their parents, it's about how trump's people don't care what's going

to happen with the kids once they take them away. >> white house chief of staff dismissed criticism of the policy shift saying with an interview of npr, saying the children will be taken care of, put into foster care or whatever. >> trevor: foster ware or whatever. totally makes it sound like you care. was he that nonchalant when he was in the marines? jerl, what's the plan of attack? when i give the signal, we go in with the guns, then, something-something, then whatever. ( laughter ) when the policy first started, i think president trump was probably thrilled. he's, like, we're taking kids away from their parents. pack your bags, eric! we're going to the border! come on, eric, let's go! ( laughter ) ( applause ) as it turns out, the blowback from this policy has been so fierce that even president trump the now going, uh, it wasn't me. >> president trump falsely laid the blame for the policy

separating children from their parents at the border on the democrats. the president tweeted out saturday morning, put pressure on the democrats toned the horrible law that separates children from their parents once they cross the border into the united states -- >> trevor: wow, really? this is the democrats' responsibility? even for trump that's a terrible lie. everyone knows the democrats don't run shit. but that's just to tell you how awful this real policy is. this is the first thing ever that trump doesn't want to put his name on. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) how does new dove men+ care stain defense

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and you deserve that new phone on the best network. verizon. oh, we're going? sure-- ehh, not my thing. (vo) now get up to 50% off our best phones. like the samsung galaxy s9 and google pixel 2. only on verizon. >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: you might have noticed today that all 27 starbucks on your block were closed. ( laughter ) but it was for a good reason. >> later today, starbucks will close thousands of stores several hours for racial bias

training. it comes after two black men were arrested in philly for sitting in a starbucks. >> the company will close more than 8,000 stores this afternoon. employees will reportedly watch videos and participate in discussions. >> that's right, today starbucks gave employees racial bias training, which they need more uh now than ever especially since as of this afternoon roseanne started working for them. ( laughter ) but in all seriousness, this is a good move on starbucks' part. i honestly believe this. like, they've tried to do this training right, partnering with the naacp, hosting discussion groups, they're even doing video presentations. in fact, our own roy wood, jr. sent in a training video for them to use. ( laughter ) take a look. >> hello, starbucks, employees. i'm here today because you (bleep) up. but that's fine. after today's training, those racial innocence tifts will be a thing of the past. but first, a word to the black employees watching. you good my dude, take off, y'all ain't gotta watch none of

this. i'm strait. ( laughter ) now, for everyone else, we'll be reviewing how to handle common scenarios that incur inside -- occur inside of a starbucks. when an african-american customer enters nur store, there is a right and wrong way to greet him. here are some to have the wrong ways. >> yo, what's up, man, can i get the -- >> oh, shit, you wearing a bandana! don't kill me! just take the money! (buzzer) oh, i'm sorry, sir, we are out of grape drink. (buzzer) hey, welcome to starbucks. open! (buzzer) here's a correct way to greet a black person in your store. hello. ( ding ) let's move on. >> writing black names on coffee cups. >> this is for --

>> roshanda. >> of course. of course. (buzzer) here's what he should have done. >> it's roshanda. >> i'm sorry, i have this disease where i forget how to read. would you mind spelling that for nee? >> sure. r -- >> er -- >> u -- >> u -- ( ding ) >> bathroom access. from time to time, starbucks customers will need to eva evace their bowels. we must be sensitive. >> may i get the code to the rest room? >> you ain't gonna buy knotting? no snack or nothing in you think you will walk up and take a shit for free? ain't nothing out here in here for free. you go piss in the gutter. i'll call 911 on your ass before i let you ryan these white folks' toilet (buzzer) >> a better approach. >> the code to the rest room?

>> 0115, dr. king's birthday. (ding-ding) ( ding ) >> there you have it, now you know how to make african-americans feel welcome at starbucks. thanks for watching and, remember, don't be racist. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: roy wood, jr., everybody! we'll be right back! what if water were as active as you? ♪ with gatorade electrolytes and no sugar, propel is how gatorade does water.

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>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is the creator of "jackass" who stars in the new movie "action point." >> give daddy a push. ♪ ♪ >> oh! aaahhh! oh! ow! >> that was amazing! >> trevor: please welcome johnny knoxville! ( cheers and applause )

♪ >> trevor: welcome. >> thank you. >> trevor: you know, i've watched your movies for a very long time. i obviously was a fan of "jackass." i was telling the audience before you came out that my mom hated me watching your shows because she was just, like, this is white people doing crazy shit with their lives. you know my favorite line my mom used to say? she's, like, this is how you know white people haven't been oppressed enough. ( laughter ) we would don't that. like, how are you still alive? when you are you going to stop? >> i don't know how i'm still alive or when i'm going to stop. i can't keep doing it forever. >> trevor: feels like you can. in a normal movie, we go, whatever. but that's you. >> that's me. >> trevor: you flying off a thing, tumbling in the dirt and doing every single stunt. >> yes, in the whole movie i asked the stunt men and women to

do them the way i do them, no pads or wires, and that was tough. but they were excited about the fact to get to do them like that because they never get to do that. >> trevor: yeah, because it's not safe. ( laughter ) >> action park, the place that inspired this movie, was, like, this most dangerous theme park in the history of the world. it was in new jersey, not far from here. >> trevor: oh, yeah. yeah. >> and the owner is, like, i'm not going to hassle the kids with a bunch of rules! i'm going to leave safety up to them. >> trevor: that sounds like president trump as a theme park owner. he's, like, so many regulations, folks. no more seat belts. just enjoy. >> i like gene mulvahil, the owner. >> trevor: this is a story about you playing a theme park owner, one of the worst theme parks ever where everything is going wrong and everything that goes wrong happens to you for real in the movie. you know what's crazy?

here's my thing. if tom cruise say i do my own stunts, it generally means there are harnesses and he rides the back or doing it himself or he tries to look a tall person in the eye type thing ( laughter ) but when you say i do a stunt, you falling, you are hurting yourself. do you have health insurance? what obamacare do you have? >> i have very good health insurance. in the clip you saw, i got a bad concussion and almost cost me my left eye. i didn't know it. i went to the emergency room for the concussion and i got back to my hotel room and had a little blood. we shot in cape town. you have excellent hospitals in cape town, i was in them constantly. >> trevor: thank you very much. >> when i blew my nose, my left eye popped out of its socket. i wasn't expecting that, you know. ( laughter ) so i popped it back in and had to go back to the emergency room. so -- >> trevor: let's take a step back because i feel like you moved through this with a

casualness that's not befitting what you just described. >> right. >> trevor: so you blow your nose and your eye comes out of your head. >> yes. >> trevor: and at this point, you put your eye back? ( laughter ) >> i was frightened, you know? >> trevor: yeah, yeah, i get it, but you put your own eye back? >> i poked it back in because what else am i supposed to do? ( laughter ) you know? ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: yeah, i mean -- so is your eye -- you go back to filming after that? >> well, they couldn't film the left side of my face the last few days of the movie, so -- and, actually, five days after the first time it happened, i was outer drinking with chris and he said something funny, and i laughed and held my nose when i laughed and my eye popped out again. but i had a pirate's patch on my eye so i just pushed on the patch and it was fine.

>> trevor: i need to understand why the eye popped out? is this a thing of yours? >> what happened, they said on the impact in the clip you saw, the orbital lamina bone disappeared on impact and, when i was blowing my knows, i was blowing air behind my eyeball and pushing it out of its socket. >> trevor: you know what i find fascinating about you is not just the fact that you have all these injuries but even now you are just, like, my orbital lamina. do you have a medical degree now from how much time you've spent in hospitals being hurt? i feel you know every bone in your body because you've broken every single one of them. >> yeah, i see doctors a lot. ( laughter ) i have 25 doctors in my phone and i go to see them quite often. >> trevor: so you're making this movie, right? and movies are about acting, but you're getting hurt in the thing. how do you now act after you've done something -- so nay go, like, and cut. all right, johnny, that was

great. do we do it again or -- >> no, i set my stunts up -- because that's the thing. i don't like doing stunts twice. >> trevor: well, yes. >> so i try to make them as big a disaster the first time so i won't have to do them a second time because, once you do first time, oh, it's -- it doesn't -- it's not good. ( laughter ) >> trevor: you know, it's funny, if most actors were saying this, they would seem pretentious, you know, i don't like doing my stunts more than once. with you, it's, like, thank you for your service. ( laughter ) that's what i feel like i should be saying. you're one to have the craziest human beings alive. your stunts are great and we enjoy it. >> thank you so much. >> trevor: "action point" reason? theaters june 1. johnny knoxville, everybody! we'll be right back! trevor: th!

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