tv The Daily Show Comedy Central July 20, 2018 1:35am-2:06am PDT
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but i've come to find out a lot of those things aren't true. so i don't know what to believe! - well, stan, the truth is, marijuana probably isn't going to make you kill people and most likely isn't gonna fund terrorists, but, well, son, pot makes you feel fine with being bored. and it's when you're bored that you should be learning some new skill or discovering some new science or being creative. if you smoke pot, you may grow up to find out that you aren't good at anything. - i really, really wish you just would've told me that from the beginning. - he's right. if we use lies and exaggerations to keep kids off drugs, then they're never gonna believe anything we tell them. - well there's only one person i can blame-- motivationcorp! - oh, god! who smeared crap all over our walls? oh, jesus, it smells, ohh! - you really did a nice job, eric. - yeah, i got to admit, you came through. - thank you, i thought the "hangover black" went really nice in the lobby. - well, here, eric, i cooked you a huge box of cookies as a present. - thanks! but you know, all this talk about future selves has made me think maybe i should take better care of myself. i mean, maybe i should think about who i'm gonna become. - attaboy, eric, you made the right choice!
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- who the hell are you? - ha-ha! it's me, cartman! you from the future! i came back to tell you that this is the day you turn it all around! you stop eating junk food. you start studying harder. you stay away from drugs and alcohol. and you become c.e.o. of your own time travel company! - oh, wow, really? that's so awesome! now i'll really work to be successful! - right on! - go have sex with yourself, asshole! i'm not that stupid! just for that, i gonna spend my whole childhood eating what i want and doing drugs when i want! whatevah, i do what i want! - no, wait! aw, god damn it! captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com
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>> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," everybody! thank you so much for tuning in! thank you, thank you so much! take a seat! take a seat! my guests tonight, writers and actors, daveed diggs and rafael casal are here! ( cheers and applause ) yeah, we're going to be talking about "blindspotting," the new movie that takes on race and gentrification in the bay area, it's a really fascinating film. stay tuned. first, let's catch up on tad's
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haiheadlines. whoosh. sean spicer, remember him? the guy who could never complete a sentence without messing up? well, he's currently on a book tour, and turns out he's still got it. >> it's an honor to serve this country and this administration, but there's not a day that goes buy i don't miss standing at the podium. i'm not accountable for everything he said. he has increased the sanctions on crimea. if the people don't like the laws on the books, vote them out or encourage those in office to change the law, but we don't revert to violence. and i think there's been a lot of level overintensity and scrutiny that north korea was going to denuclearize the peninsula. ( buzzer going off throughout ) the united states and president crump, by the way -- ( laughter ) >> trevor: oh, sean! oh, man! i'm not going to lie, man, i
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miss him so much. all right, moving on to international news. you guys remember how trump started a trade war with the rest of the world. i'm going to say it's sometime after he started stealing immigrant children but before he pledged allegiance to russia. looks like the world is moving on without him. >> the president's escalating trade battles are leading some countries to negotiate their own bilateral deals, leaving the united states out in the cold. just yesterday our allies, japan and the european union signed a trade deal creating a trade zone, eliminating $1.1 million in tariffs in e.u. companies that export to japan. >> trevor: japan and e.u. eliminated tariffs to each other which means more exchange between japan and europe. is this going to be like, aaahhh! godzilla! aaahhh! oktoberfest, aaahhh!
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( laughter ) this is bad news for trump. he put up so many trade barriers that europe and japan started doing their own thing without america, which might hurt the u.s. economy. on the bright side, though, america has now united germany, italy and japan. what could go wrong? ( laughter ) speaking of which -- speaking of which, president trump -- ( cheers and applause ) -- president trump, just this afternoon, announced that he would be inviting vladimir putin to the white house! for summits! yeah, which is insane. i've never seen anyone call a rematch for the a press conference. he's, like, this time, i'm gonna tell him to his, hey, vlad! let's move on to today's top story. everyday we learn more about russia's efforts to undermine america's democracy. they hacked the democrat's e-mails, flooded social media with propaganda and paid fergie to destroy the national anthem.
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or at least i hope they did. otherwise, i don't know what that was. this week we found about a russian spy trying to mess with u.s. politics for years. >> the justice department announced the arrest of a russian woman on charges that she conspired to act as an agent of moscow to influence american politics. >> in court papers the f.b.i. sails maria butina and a russian official took steps to develop relationships with american politicians in order to establish backchannel lines of communications. 29-year-old maria butina is a former furniture store owner in siberia. >> trevor: wow -- how did they know she was a spy and not a 29-year-old retired furniture store owner? what was the giveaway? all the guns she was holding in every single picture? you realize there's not one picture of her holding a chair, not even one? you sell furniture, no chair pictures? i don't trust anyone who says they sell furniture, i don't care who you are. i know it's not right to profile
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people, but i say, i've got my eye on you! flanagan, we're cool but raymar, i don't know. ( laughter ) it's no surprise russia sends spies to the u.s. a spying russian is as normal as a white person calling the cops on their shadow. that's just a thing. it's, like, one of them's following me! ( laughter ) what i'm surprised about is how close she got to republican power. >> the f.b.i. says butina coz idea up to n.r.a. officials trying to gain influence. >> an n.r.a. convention in 2014, 2015, butina met rick santorum, scott walker and bobby jindal along with n.r.a. c.e.o. wain lapierre. >> met with donald trump, jr. in an n.r.a. convention. >> in a campaign i vent in las vegas in july of 2015, she was one of a handful of people who got to ask then candidate donald trump a question. >> do you want to continue the politics of sanctions that are
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damaging both economy, or you have any other ideas? >> i don't think you'd need the sanctions. i think that we would get along very, very well. >> trevor: yeah. very, very, very, very well. she was so good, she not only got close to the republicans, she also got trump to answer a question. yeah. that's powerful. and i think that's maybe what the american press needs to do. ( cheers and applause ) to actually get on to donald trump. that's all the american press should do. they should just start speaking in russian ac 70s. it's, like, mr. president, jim acosta cnn -- (russian accent). i don't know what it is about you, jim, something about you, i like you. ( laughter ) maria made friends with russian officials, doesn't necessarily mean she was a spy but the trail of bread crumbs she left behind means she probably with us. >> butina with an alleged russian operator in a d.c.
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restaurant. >> bragged about connections to the kremlin. >> extensive email trail. >> identified sources as alexander torsin, a former member of russian parliament and one of pant's allies. >> torsian medged her on twitter saying you've upstaged a russian spy arrested and deported in a prisoner swap in 2010. >> trevor: oooh, i feel like that last message jinxed her. how her boss going to send her the message? good job, you remind me of the spy who was arrested and deported, yeah. for more on the story, we turned to a reporter who watched many movies on spies, michae michael, everyone! ( cheers and applause ) yet another russian arrested for meddling in america's democracy. >> trevor, as an american, i could not be more outraged, and not because to have the spying, because of the laziness.
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maria butina put less into her mission than i put into my first marriage. >> trevor: aren't you still on your first mary ellen? >> i don't know. that's not the point. the point is these russian spice aren't even trying anymore. >> trevor: i don't know if i agree, michael. it looked very much like she was trying to me. >> why, because she dressed up like a russian knock off of the matrix? i mean, what kind of spy poses in a magazine as a spy? she used her real accent, her real face, at least slap on a wig or a beard. >> trevor: i think a beard might make her stand out more. >> she even used her real name. you don't see james bond going around telling everybody his name. >> trevor: actually, that's his trademark. >> i know because he's a fictitiousle character. the point is russian spy used to respect us enough to try, hidden codes in lemon use, hidden
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messages in flower pots. poison hidden. now she's on twitter, off to my next spy msh #kremlin, undercover, blessed -- ( laughter ) >> trevor: i didn't know you were so passionate about spy craft. >> well, i'm a bit of an expert. see, my brother is in the c.i.a., and -- ( laughter ) -- right now, he's in moscow on a secret mission, but he's not running around like, hey, putin, i'm dan costa, i'm here to sabotage the oligarchs! no, he's pretending to be an investment banker by the name of victor patrovich, and that's how you spy. love you, bro. >> trevor: i don't know if he'll appreciate tha that, michl kosta, everyone! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause )
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so you should probably start canceling your plans. you've got some serious watching to do. ♪ mom, they're here! ♪ hi bixby, start dinnertime mode now! ♪ woo! let's get the party started. ♪ mamma mia! wicked witch of the west. i'll be leaving that out of the bio. ♪ my, my [ groaning ] ♪ how can i resist ya ♪ whoa this whole place is awesome. woo! ♪ mamma mia! [ gasp ] hi there. what kinda island is this? woo!
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it's wonderful. miraculous. [ gasp ] that'll do. ♪ i should not have let you go ♪ rated pg-13. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." thank you so much. take a seat, everybody. quick question. do you guys like black people? ( cheering ) well then you will love roy wood, jr. with another episode of cp time. ( cheers and applause ) ♪
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>> welcome to cp time, the only show that's for the culture. ( laughter ) now, it's no secret that black folks love us a good conspiracy theory, like our rapper bob thinks the world is flat, while mos def doesn't think osama bin laden did 9/11, or how i believe car dashon is o.j. simpson's secret daughter. o.j. always leaving dna everywhere, no wonder they call him the juice. ( laughter ) conspiracy that unit all black people are about the government. uncle sam gets more blame than alcohol after a pregnancy test, like the conspiracy theory that the government created aids which i personally don't believe. we all know that the only manmade disease is kidney stones. somebody sneaking them stones up there. think about it.
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then, of course, there's black folks' suspicion that, during hurricane katrina, the government blew up the levies on purpose to flood out poor black neighborhoods and spare the white ones. that's right. the government even turned water against us. i'd expect that from racist assed lava, but not you, water. that's why i only shower now with lime gatorade. who can you trust? ( laughter ) i know you white people are all laughing, you all think black people is crazy and gullible, i can hear you chuckling. but this is serious. ( laughter ) when you realize how many conspiracy theories against us turn out to be true. like how black people with syphilis thought they were being treated but were actually part of a government experiment. that's right. the government did medical experiments on black people, and we didn't even get any superpowers. if i'm going to have syphilis, i should also get to be the she
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hulk or syphilis man or one of the new members of the avengers. fair is fair. and what about during the 1960s when we all said they were trying to sabotage martin luther king? and then in the 1990s, we found out that they were trying to sabotage martin luther king. they wiretapped him and released salacious transcripts of his most intimate forms of fornication with random women. i refuse to read a single word of the slander. i did listen to the audio book, though. ( laughter ) so the next time you're fixing to laugh at a black person's conspiracy theory, remember we're batting about .250 on these, which brings me to the biggest conspiracy theory of them all, the popeyes chicken is a front for the c.i.a. ( laughter ) a ten-piece inside for $20. those are crack prices. but thankfully, i have been able
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to resist this product for years because i know better than to ever give in -- oh, my god -- oh -- oh, my god, they got biscuits, too. ( laughter ) well, i think that's all the time we have for today. ( laughter ) i'm roy wood, jr. and this has been cp time. ( cheers and applause ) and remember -- ( cheers and applause ) could you turn the lights off, please in turn off the lights. thank you. give me some privaciy. mmm! >> trevor: roy wood, jr., everyone! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) you want to bring the heat? prove it. with carbs to help fuel muscles...
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and electrolytes to help replace what you lose in sweat. studied. tested. proven. nothing beats gatorade. who's already won three cars, two motorcycles, a boat, and an r.v. i would not want to pay that insurance bill. [ ding ] -oh, i have progressive, so i just bundled everything with my home insurance. saved me a ton of money. -love you, gary!
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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back! my guest tonight wrote, produced and starred in the film "blindspotting." >> what? >> i. >> i'm calling us an uber and we're going to knox's party. >> the hell we are, i'm not going to that party. >> we're not going back in there. spend you can first day having a
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curfewl in your party? >> i'm not spending my first night in a party where bullshit jumps off. >> it's going to be safe! it's going to be nothing but hipsters and artisan beer and shit, you know, acoustic guitar, light music -- ( sound trailing off ) >> trevor: please welcome, tony and grammy award winning daveed diggs and long time poet and friend rafael casal! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to the show. >> thanks for having us. >> trevor: congratulations, man, on creating an amazing, amazing film. i had read some of the buzz before i watched it, but it's truly a beautiful story that captures everything. when you're writing a story like this about oakland, a place that
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you grew up in, a place that is so close to your heart, like, how do you focus on the most important issue in the story? >> yeah, well, i think, for us, really every decision came back to does it feel like oakland, for real, for real. >> trevor: right. >> so it took us nine years to get this thing made. we started writing this almost a decade ago. it's been through a lot of changes. what we really wanted, one of the big reasons to make the film in the first place is because we had never seen our city represented in the way that we know it to be on the screen before. so we didn't think anyone would ever let us make a movie but if we did, we're going to show our oakland, you know. ( laughter ) so that was the main decision-maker. but, you know, the film covers a ton of issues that seem very contemporary, but the rest of it is always about just trying to tell the honest story of these two men and represent their world accurately. >> trevor: and really feels
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honest because you have this world where you've got your character, daveed, who is three days away from finally ending his probation. you have your character, rafael, who is what i can only describe as a mad man, and yet the most charismatic person ever, he's loyal, a best friend. you have these two that are on this journey together, and what i liked about it is a lot of it was in spoken verse, you know, like you're walking down the street flowing, going back and forth. is that like a bay area thing? >> it is. i mean, we're using heightened language to try condense really complicated ideas to digestible language and time that's fun, that's fun to listen to. that's the great thing about heightened language, right, is it's exciting to take in, and it's been in the theater for so long, heightened language and verses, the way we've told story in theater. so we were so excited to take on bringing verse to film in this sort of way where they're not
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aspiring rappers or anything like that. the whole film is building towards helping collin articulate what he's feeling to the people who need to hear it most and we used verse to make it happen. >> trevor: you've also got a situation where your character, one of the most painful themes repeated throughout the stories, your character is now labeled as a felon, a convicted felon, and that line gets repeated throughout the movie. but what's interesting is when you learn the story, how easy it is for somebody's life to end because of a title. that was a painful experience you chose to write. >> yeah, yeah. i mean, i think, you know, all of the stories in the film are sort of based on things that either happened to us or friends or family members, but in order to keep it authentic, we took people's real-life scenarios and then, obviously, altered them for the film. >> trevor: right. >> but it helped us keep it close to home. if you've ever been on probation or you know somebody on probation or parole for -- you know, if you've been through the prison system, uh, being on
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probation is a series of traps, right, designed to send you back. they're actively trying to send you back to jail, you know. and, so, once that label gets stuck on you, so many of my friends, like, you know, have a hard time getting jobs, right, because that label is attached to you. there are all these other unforeseen consequences, and for the period of time you're still in this probationnary period, there are all these totally insane rules. >> trevor: i've seldom watched a film so funny and heart felt. there is an underlying current of suspense because the entire time we're waiting to see if your character that is to go back to prison for breaking the smallest rule, and then another major thing that we're dealing with the entire time is the theme of gentrification. san francisco and the bay area is dealing with this in major ways and this is a big theme in the story. >> absolutely. oakland, california, san francisco, we have been going through this massive turnover and this influx of new people that are coming in. >> y'all don't know nothing about that.
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>> don't know nothing about that here in new york. ( laughter ) you know, but that is affecting this community, you know, so intensely. and them sort of in similar and different ways, and my character myles is so -- he's had to be the minority among minorities. he's the only white dude around a community of black and brown folks and he's been that way his whole life. the neighborhood is changing, and he's had to fight for his space and identity and to get everyone to respected and know him his entire life. now thin flux of people are coming in and not only changing his context but he's getting mistaken for what he sees as, well, they're the colonizers, i'm from here. >> trevor: right. >> which, you know, this shit is layered, people. ( cheers and applause ) ( laughter ) >> trevor: that's what makes it amazing. it's a fantastic story. go watch the movie because it is that good.
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