free chick-fil-a for life and guaranteed her a job when she turns 16. >> free food for life and a job at 16, how generous. i guess the diabetes is just a bonus. that's our show. i'm jim jefferies. i think we can all do better. good night. >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪

>> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," everybody! thank you so much for tuning in. i'm trevor noah. our guest tonight journalist michael scott moore is here, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) he's here to discuss his book about how he was held hostage by somali pirates, a really fascinating story about being held hostage by somali pirates, so, please, no one tell him i'm african. first, today's headlines in. the escalating trade war between the united states and everyone, one of the hardest hit groups has been u.s. farmers. >> secretary of agriculture sonny purdue just announcing moments ago that the trump administration has approved $12 billion in aid specifically going to farmers, an industry that has been hit very hard by what they call today illegal

retaliatory tariffs from china. >> farmers, many of whom were trump voters, they've really been hurt by the president's trade wars. >> trevor: this is weird. i'm not opposed to a president using government assistance to help people after a crisis after a hurricane, but in this case the president is the hurricane. he made this happen. right? imagine in a hurricane went through your house, aaahhh! aaahhh! aaahhh! here's $20 for the mess. aaahhh! aaahhh! ( laughter ) that's basically what happened here. donald trump screwed a bunch of farmers and now has to pay them off. i guess now they know how it feels to be stormy daniels. in other news, ivanka trump is shut down her fashion company. yeah. ( cheers and applause ) to focus on being a full-time white house aide. ( audience reacts ) yeah, that took you guys on a journey, yeah. ( laughter ) think about it, how are you

supposed to run a successful business and stand in the background of pictures? it really can't be done? japan, advertising space is getting so tight that they're cramming ads into every crevice. >> in japan a company has found a new place for advertising, on women's underarms. you pay to have a model walk around with your company logo under her arms so every time she raises her hand, your business gets noticed. >> trevor: i think that's a pretty good idea but i feel bad for guys with arm pit fetishes. they will be, like, how do i upgrade to the ad-free version? ( laughter ) the city of new york saw what japan would be doing and decided to sell ad space on all of the subway masturbators. sir! slow down! i can't read the number! slow down! ( laughter ) now to the main story. the trump administration.

they're fighting so many battles it's sometimes hard to keep track of enemies. crooked hillary, fake news media, deep state witch hunt, canada. and the biggest enemy of all, the environment. the trump administration has had a grudge against mother nature ever since wind. ( laughter ) and yesterday, we learned how far they're willing to go to kick captain planet in his big new marbles. >> thousands of pages of e-mails show interior secretary ryan zinke and aides dismissing tourism benefits and archeological discoveries in favor of shrinking national monuments for logging, ranching and energy developments. "the washington post" sites documents the interior department released this month and retracted later. >> trevor: i don't what's worse, scheming to help owl and timber businesses or thinking you could take back the e-mails you mistakenly sent out.

how does that work? can't send an email say to your boss saying work is my favorite place to get high and jerk off in the boiler room, and then send an email saying, please disregard, work is my favorite place. ( laughter ) it isn't likely they would dismiss archeological discoveries just to get a little more oil. imagine trump president during jurrasic park. >> what's that? >> that's nothing. let's frack the shit out of this place. ( laughter ) >> trevor: obviously the interior department was embarrassed because its e-mails showed they know they're doing something super shady, but we shouldn't be surprised considering all the stuff the administration is doing to the environment out in the open. >> the trump administration is expected to open a new front in america's environmental battle, and california is the target. the administration will now try to shut down california's authority to regulate vehicle exhaust greenhouse gas emissions and the sale of electric cars.

environmentalists charge the bottom line would be devastating after years of cleaning up the air in california. >> trevor: i know president hates california but that's just mean. california has worked so hard to clean up its air, and it's true a lot of the progress came from deporting seth rogen to arizona, but it was also from the state's strong car emission standards. so if the administration kills them off, it could put the health of millions of people at risk. let's be honest, who cares about people, right? they're gross. they really are. sad ri, turns out the administration is coming for our furry friends, too. >> the trump administration is calling for sweeping changes to the law that protects hundreds of animals and plant species from extinction proposal would end automatic protections and limit habitat safeguards provide bid endangered species act and decisions on shielding threatened species would be made on a case-by-case basis. >> trevor: what the ( bleep )? this is insane!

if the trump administration gets its way, instead of automatically protecting endangered species, it would decide the fate of each species on a case-by-case basis. that's going to be hash trair as he'll. trump would be, like, i've decided to let you live, turtle. you're green and makes you a shell which makes you the closest thing to the sexy m&m. oooh, those curves, baby. why would anyone want to weaken the endangered species act? money. >> experts say it will lead to easier construction of pipelines. environmentalists say all of it is dangerous. >> it will probably over time and collectively degrade many of the natural areas that are part of america's heritage. this is really about rewarding the largest corporate polluters. >> trevor: that's right, trump is willing to kill off whole animal species in favor of pipelines. who doesn't love a nice durable

pipeline? yeah? i don't know about you but i spend all my time watching buzz feed videos about adorable pipelines. like when the big and small pipeline become friends, oh! so cute! what are the odds? so the truth is, this administration loves big business. so this is going to go on for a while, unless the endangered species come together and create their own lobby and send one of their own to petition the president and, personally, if they do that, i hope they send the same guy they sent last time. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause )

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>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." continuing our environmental

coverage, we turn now to our very own backyard, staten island, where mother nature is fighting back. desi lydic reports. >> staten island, famous for mob wives, spray answer the and cheese sticks. more to the wildlife than beefed up people. i met up with park ranger sara to find out more. >> we have a big population of deer in staten island. >> you may have heard of deer when they went viral last august, or from the popular snapchat filter. adorable, right? wrong. >> you know, in this case, there can be too much of a good thing. the deer population can grow large than the environment can support and that's something we want to control. >> in six years stant landwent from 24 dear to thousands, leading to lymes disease, and several souped up maximas.

how will we take care of this, kentucky style? >> no, we're not gonna -- >> chicago style? >> no. >> texas style? rat tat-tat. >> we're going to perform vasectomies. >> sure. that's the -- yeah, that's the obvious solution to the problem. that would be the first thing that one would think of. >> well, honestly, it is a little bit outside of the box. >> way outside the box. and this raises one pressing question -- woman to woman, when you cut their dicks off, does it feel good? >> i have to correct you. we're not castrating them. we're hiring a contractor who has expertise in this area, tony dinacola. >> so you got a guy tony. >> i got a guy tony. >> is it free gas for handies toney. >> not the same.

>> thirsty thursday karaoke tony? >> not that tony. >> i met up with donee. did you always know you wanted to neuter deer or lose a bet? >> no, it's more complicated. >> tontony's plan involved came, tracking and a gun. sit pretty precise when you shoot their dicks off? >> we're not that good gla. >> turns out they tranquilize them and give them operation. just one problem. >> this idea is nuts. >> meet al. >> for this to work beneath need to capture nearly all those bucks and if say only 20% remain, then we'll still have lots of fawns next spring. >> so they're going to still -- >> yeah, and one buck can happily breed many does. >> well, staten island. >> yeah. another problem is deer can swim. bucks are going to be coming from new jersey. >> bridge and tunnel deer are

the worst. >> and we'll be right back where we started. >> and it gets worse. this is going to cost $2 million. that's, like, over 5,000 a dick. relative to the cost of not doing anything, we think it's a really wise investment. >> one more problem with the vasectomy plan. every fall, there's deer mating season, what we call the rut. those that don't become pregnant, they will be back in heat. things get wild out there. >> like a two-month ( bleep ) frenzy. >> exactly. >> or like summer bible camp. >> yeah. >> time to come up with a more realistic solution. have you thought about introducing them? >> a possibility. >> worked for my husband. won't even look at me now. >> during the rut, interested in only one thing. >> you have a baby, bot body

changes, when you nurse things happen to your body, and you don't even want to know what happens down there after that. just sometimes a woman needs attention. sure, al was a great listener but he had no solutiont. you know who might? salt of the earth staten islanders. >> a baseball bat. >> bring them back to yearsy. >> do you know guys. >> a couple of guys. >> we should get mountain lions over here. >> this plan will cost $2 million. >> give me and rob a million, we'll take care of it. >> i'll wait in a tree stand every night, i'll get every dear. >> you look like christina aguilera. >> no, i'm not. >> yoi have a few solutions. >> what are they? >> me and you, back to my place -- >> i realized we had the perfect solution the whole time, just for a different staten island

problem. finally, time to cut some dicks off. >> trevor: desi lydic, everybody! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) i'm captain obvious and hotels.com rewards me basically everywhere. so why am i hosting a dental convention after party in my vegas suite? or wearing a full-body wetsuit at this spa retreat? or sliding into this ski lodge with my mini horse kevin? because hotels.com lets me do me, right?

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>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a journalist and author whose new book is called "the desert and the sea: 977 days captive on the somali pirate coast." please welcome michael scott moore. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ welcome to the show. >> thank you, good to see you. >> trevor: this is one of those stories that, halfway through the book, you have the stop and keep reminding yourself that it is real. >> it's real. >> trevor: it reads like a novel. every story has so much detail, but let's start at the beginning. the question that my grandmother would ask if she were interviewing you and that is

what were you doing in somalia? >> why did i go, yeah, right. ( laughter ) i was writing a book about pirates. i was writing a very different book about pirates. i went because i had covered a trial of ten somali pirates in hamburg, i was working in germany at the time, in berlin, and it turned out half were from this one town in central somalia, and i was already interested in the history of piracy because piracy had sort of exploded off the somali coast. >> trevor: right. >> and i had a fabulous idea for a book. >> trevor: and, so, you went there and you tell the story in the beginning of the book about how, you know, these people surround your car, there's a group of guys, and you think to yourself, oh, they're just going to check my passport. you didn't think in this moment you were being kidnapped? >> my mind recoiled from the idea i was being kidnapped. >> trevor: when that moment clicks, what is your greatest fear? >> well, the first thing was my family. i knew from that moment on it's going to be miserable for my

mother and the rest of my family and friends. >> trevor: right, and you were kidnapped by these pirates. what love about this book, like, if i was recommending it is i would say it's not about the results. spoiler alert, you're here. >> i made it out. >> trevor: yeah. it's about the journey, the 977 days, because you talk about the pirates, and, honestly, what i found commendable is you humanized them. >> thank you. >> trevor: why would you do that? they kidnapped you. >> that's what i wanted to do with the book. you know, i spent a lot of time with them. it was not 24 hours of hatred all the time. and it's impossible to live like that, as a matter of fact. >> trevor: you also talk about in the book how the somali pirate problem started as a reaction to colonialism. you talk about how countries like china, you know, robbed the fishermen of liar livedhood, you talk about how these countries were thrust into poverty. it's an interesting idea but not an excuse to pill and plunder.

>> right. >> trevor: like, when you were sitting in captivity, are you thinking to yourself, well, i also understand how they got here -- you're not thinking it at that time? >> no, because the roots of somali piracy are definitely in illegal furyk, but by the time they were capturing big cargo ships and especially by the time they were capturing me, it was no longer about illegal fishing, it was simply about greed, about getting a lot of money. >> trevor: and it had become a business. >> organized crime. >> trevor: it's gotten to the place where people accept it. what i really loved about the book, though, is you have a few moments where there's humor in what many would think is a completely humorless situation, where you're laughing with your captors. at one point you're talking about exercising. i loved it because you decided to teach the somali pirates yoga. >> yes. it didn't happen quite that directly. i knew i was going to need to exercise because i moved into a prison house that looked like it was going to be my home for a while. >> trevor: right. >> and i asked tell me for a mat

because i didn't think i was going to be able to jog around the room without them shooting at me. so i decided to get a mat and start to do yoga. i had this idea i would do it while they weren't looking, but there was no moment when they weren't looking. so i started to do yoga. they thought it was funny. they came in and imitated me, and, slowly, a few of them weren't joking, i realized, and i started to correct their postures. ( laughter ) so i might actually be the only werner who's taught yoga to somali pirates. >> trevor: you see, moments like that really -- really, i mean, luminate, you know, how amazing your journey was in this experience. one of the most powerful quotes you have in the book, and i'll paraphrase it, is basically where you talk about hope and how dangerous hope can be. >> yes. >> trevor: why do you say that? >> the line is hope is like a heroin for a hostage and it can be just as destructive, and that's because you feel hope.

the pirates cultivated that. they said, michael, you're going to go out in two weeks, one month. you would believe it. you would be hopeful, then afterward despair. each time through the cycle would be worse than the time before. so you went through the -- the cycle became destructive and you had to detach from the hope as well as the despair. >> trevor: if i'm understanding, what you're saying is the best way to cope was to let go of hope. >> that's right. at some point i knew there was at least a 50% chance i wasn't going to make it out alive, so i had to let go of that notion that i might die or i might live. the whole idea of a future had to sort of go away. >> trevor: and there are moments where you talk about your wish to be free. i mean, you know, there's a part in the book where you talk about seeing an unattended gun, an that's one of the moments where, when i'm reading it, i played way too many playstation games, so i'm, like, grab the

gun and shoot your way out. >> that's how you do it, exactly. >> trevor: when you're in that situation, you see the gun, think about grabbing the gun. does that also mess with you in a way? >> i did that several times. >> first of all, there were always guns lying around. on a few occasions, there was just the gun, and the pirate had left the room. and i went through all the motions in my head and i thought very carefully about doing that, and i would have, if i had been trained to do it. >> trevor: right. >> and even then, it might have been suicidal. in any case, there were always too many guards for me to have done it in any way tha that wast suicidal. so i had to think about that often and wrestle with it and, eventually, i wound up, you know, settling myself. >> trevor: it really is a fascinating story and, you know, one part in the book that really blew my mind is when you get home and, like i say, if you're going to read the book, there's way too much for me to get through, it's a beautiful story, but you get back to germany, and you open your facebook, and one of the pirates had sent you

a message. ( audience reacts ) >> yes, actually, it took a couple of weeks -- and we're not facebook friends or anything like that -- but i have been messaged through that app by a former guard, yeah, mm-hmm. muhamad. >> trevor: your first instinct is to block. >> yes. >> trevor: but then you went, no, i'm going to catch up with muhamad. >> i caught up with muhamad. we've had an ongoing sort of slow-burning conversation, yeah. >> trevor: and if he sent you a friend request, would you accept? >> no. >> trevor: i don't blame you. i likely don't blame you. it's such a beautiful book. it's a fascinating story. i'm so glad you're on. thank you so much for being here. >> thank you for having me. >> trevor: "the desert and the sea" is available now. a beautiful story. michael scott moore, everybody. we'll be right back. thank you so much! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ does this make you want a reese's?

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and i'mma leave it all on the mat, cause that's what i do when i get it done so i can do it! yeah! ♪ give your head a mtn dew kickstart >> trevor: that's our show for tonight them thanks for tuning in. now here it is... your moment of zen. >> i am chris cuomo, welcome to prime time. >> president trump took brinkmanship to a new level using gangster speak and trash talk. >> that doesn't mean the truth doesn't apply my brother, my brother. >> facts be facts, best not be messing with us. >> now we're in sync, my brother, now we're in sync. hey, have they left for the big meeting yet? i got michael's lucky tie. no, they're in the conference room. okay. wait, are those michael's levis? yeah. who dry-cleans jeans? michael and his jeans. he gets in them and... i'm not exactly sure what happens, but i can tell you, he loves the way he looks