ptioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com captioning sponsored by comedy central >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show." i'm trevor noah. thank you so much for tuning in. our guest tonight, our guest tonight is the amazing bo burnham! ( cheers and applause ) so excited to have him here. we're going to be talking about the film he wrote and directed called "eighth grade." but first, let's catch up on today's headlines. whoosh. you know how some people say they love drake so much that they would die for him? well, it turns out they're

telling the truth. >> it's the viral dance challenge set to drake's song "in my feelings." it is completely taking over social meet meadia. everyone seems to be doing it. >> wait, some people are letting those feelings out is drawing attention of safety fors. videos show passengers and even drivers jumping out of moving cars to dance on streets and highways, and in some cases, the results aren't pretty. >> trevor: oh, man! and you know, people are so crazy, that they're going to be scraping that girl off the pavement and she'll be going, "did i get the retweets? click to subscribe." i'm sorry, man, going viral has gotten way too difficult. i remember back in the day you could go viral for getting all your friends into a phone booth? you remember that, yeah? remember planking? it was like, "wow! you're not moving? two million likes." now to go viral you've got it eat laundry detergent, set yourself on fire, or dance on

the freeway after jumping out of your moving car. pretty soon, if you want to go viral, you're going to have to be like tom crew cruise in "misn impossible." ♪ ♪ >> trevor: ah, scientology. all right. ( laughter ) ( applause ) let's move on. in other news, in other news, serena williams is charging discrimination after learning that the u.s. anti-doping agency has given her twice as many random drug tests as any other female pro tennis player. yeah. testing her more than five times this year alone, which is a lot. basically, she's going to need a new gatorade sponsorship to stay hydrated for the drug tests she's taking. serena does so many tests she doesn't have to bring the sample to the lab anymore. the ball boy grabs it. what i love about serena williams, she's such an innate

champion, she's even the best at drug tests. you realize she's never failed a single drug test. test. ( applause ) yeah. she's the serena williams of drug tests, the greatest of all time. ( laughter ) oh, also in the news today, there's trouble in the paradise that is donald and melania trump's marriage. >> "the new york times" says melania trump infuriated her husband during a recent overseas trip when he noticed her tv on air force one was tuned to cnn. >> on his flight to helsinki the president blew up when he found the first lady watching cnn instead of fox on air force one. president reportedly raged at staff, according to the "time," for violating a rule that the airplane's television should stay tuned to fox. >> trevor: violating a rule? i know trump is not a fan of a woman's right to choose, but this is ridiculous. he was furious because he found out melania was watching cnn instead of fox, which when you think about it is probably her way of cheating on him, you know? ( cheers and applause )

she was probably like, "that's right, husband. i've been secretly seeing a black man, don lemon." ( cheers and applause ) but-- but let's be honest-- if there's one person who can't be mad at their spouse for doing things behind ther back, it's the commander in cheat, which brings us to our main story. look, we've known for a long time that president trump once had an affair with "playboy" playmate doing. but just, we learned about the conspiracy to keep the affair quiet, thanks to michael cohen, trump's former attorney and "sopranos'" background actor. ( laughter ) you didn't even notice him in the picture, did you? ( laughter ) because you see, it turns out, like so many "sopranos" characters, cohen was wearing a wire. >> this is the secret recording provided by michael cohen's lawyer. cohen and then-candidate donald trump discussing paying for former playmate karen mcdougal's story of an allegedly affair that president

trump denies. >> just sordid and embarrassing that the president of the united states is on tape talking about how-- how payoffs work and what he's going to do and all that. it's cringe-inducing. >> trevor: cringe-inducing? i can't believe this guy has any cringes left. "i ran out of cringes back on the muslim ban. arure serious? just so we're clear about what this is, this tape tapeis about hush money for trump's playmate affair, not the porn star affair, which are separate affairs. and all of that is completely different from the whole russia affair. ( laughter ) right. maybe that's why trump always tweets "witch hunt." maybe he's asking, "which hunt is this again? which hunt is this, folks? i don't know? ( applause )

and just a little side note-- it is a little weird that we know so much about where the president has put his (bleep). can we acknowledge that. that's not normal. think about it, in all of american history it's only trump, clinton, and lincoln. you know at some point lincoln put it in that big sexy hat. "i won the self-war. now daddy gets some stovepipe time." now please, remember, remember this-- an affair with a playmate isn't illegal. neither is paying hush money. neither is having your campaign spokesperson lie about it. the issue here is whether by paying off the "playboy" model shortly before election day, trump and the world's worst lawyer, made an unreported campaign contribution, which would be illegal. and on this tape, it's a little unclear. like, we do hear trump say the word "cash," and then cohen says, "no, no, no," but that could mean anything. like, was he saying, "no, no,

no," to a cash payment or was trump trying to put his fingers in the electrical sockets again? we don't know. "no, mr. president, not in the buzz, buzz place, noin the buzz buzz." according to the world's second-worst lawyer, it actually proves trump's innocence. >> guiliani telling nbc news the tape shows there was nothing criminal about the conversation and he insist nose payment ever occurred. >> so are you still maintaining then tonight that the recording that was released this evening is 100% exculpatory towards the president? >> there's no indication any of crime being committed on this tape. and that is absolutely right. i don't think anyone can suggest that this represents anything where the president did anything wrong. >> trevor: i love that the secret "playboy" affair hush money tape is the evidence to help trump, yeah. i mean, it can, but you have to admit, it will probably make an awkward dinner with melania. "great news, honey, the tape about my second mistress totally

gets me off the hook." like "wow, everything coming up melania." ( laughter ) and, honestly, honestly, i agree with rudy guiliani here. and not with his decision to surgically replace his teeth with horse teeth, no. ( laughter ) i agree-- i agree that none of the stuff on this tape is impeachable. it's embarrassing and scandalous, but it's not criminal. but all legal questions aside, there's one part of the tape that does come through crystal clear: >> donald trump apparently completely unaware he's being taped asking for refreshments. ( laughter ) >> trevor: now, that's shocking. i never thought i'd hear donald

trump say the word "please." and to be honest, i feel a little bit bad for coke, because this is not the product placement they were hoping for. right? ( applause ) but, you know, what i thought of. if people are going to secretly record trump and then play his tapes to the world, he may as well benefit because trump is always looking for new ways to make money. he should just start slipping endorsement into all of his private conversations. and you know what? it would work a lot better than you think.

( applause ). >> trevor: now that's smart business. we'll be right back.

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( cheers and applause ). >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." with so much focus on michael cohen this week, we thought that landing an interview with him would be incredible. so roy wood jr. set out to do just that. >> i'm about to sit down with the one and only michael cohen, mr. i'm going to jail, trump's lawyer, michael cohen. now, you might be asking yourself, "how did i land the

interview of the year?" i sent him a tweet. actually, i sent michael cohen 48 tweets. seems desperate, even a little bit extreme, but you know what? harassing people on twitter gets results. and because of my harassing tweets, the most infamous trump lackey is sitting down with me. suck it, cnn. so, michael cohen. you spent $130,000 to protect donald-- who the (bleep) are you? >> michael cohen. > you're not michael cohen. i've been tweeting at michael cohen the past two weeks. >> i've seen all your tweets. i work for the "milwaukee journal sentinel" and i cover the green bay packers. i'm a sports reporter. >> so i'm been harassing the wrong dude this whole time. >> you're not the only one. >> looks like i was only one of ignorant asholes harassing this dude online. what does michael do about it?

>> i just let it go. >> you don't let shit go. somebody hit you with a hateful tweet, you report their ass as spam and you lie and say they sent you a picture of their junk. you got the bomb on these fools and let them know that your twitter page ain't the place for this bullshit, and you ride on their bitch ass. >> i don't have a choice. i have to deal with this, and there are others like me who have to endure this on a daily basis. >> i felt bad for all the hawrmt michael was getting on line. and there were real-life twitter victims across the country being targeted just like him. so i got some of them together to share their stories. all right, everyone. you're here because you share a name with someone that people hate. and i think the best way to get through that is to share your stwrs one another. so let's start with mike. >> my name is mike pence. i'm a software developer from sarasota. >> what are some of the things people say to you online? >> people think that i hate gay

people. >> do you ever use your name to your advantage? like, do you just call a restaurant and go, "this is mike pence. i'd like a table immediately. make sure there's no gays next to my table"? >> not typically. >> let's keep going around the circle here. i'm gonzalez. >> you're a vegan chef. >> right. >> what do you get more hate for, being confiewsed with emma or being a vegan chef. >> i'm sarah sanders and a student. >> i suppose you get a lot of hateful tweets from liberals. >> they have said that i'm a sick person or that i'm the spawn of satan. >> have you seen mike huckabee? it's pretty spot-on. >> i'm @ericsnowden, and i'm a software designer in san francisco. >> wait, you don't even have the same first name as the guy they confuse you with? >> no, there are a lot of stupid people out there and they come after me.

>> give me some examples of some of the horrible things people have said to you. >> @ericsnowden coward, fraud, traitor, scaredy cat, racist, now he wants his mommy. boo-hoo. i just eye just saw my mom. ( laughter ). >> right here. >> i'm @jerrysandusky. i'm a broadcaster from brooklyn-- >> hang on, hang on. >> i get a lot of hate-- >> hey, hey, i need a minute. ( laughter ). >> look, i can relate with all of you because i've been at this longer than anybody. i've been going on this for years now. i've been invited to spend eternity in hell by tens of thousands of people. my favorite is the number of people who ask, "how did they let you tweet from jail?" did i mention i'm jerry with a "g." >> jerry, shut the (bleep) up. you have to be quiet. nobody wants to feel sorry for jerry sandusky. >> i get it. >> i'm sorry, man. >> it's all right. i'm used to. >> it's a lot. >> it is. >> why don't you go get some

coffee. just... you take off. i'm sorry, eric, continue. we were making great progress, and then a breakthrough. >> at a certain point, i made my instagram private and i shut down my twitter. >> and how have you been since then? >> i've been fine. >> that's powerful. ( laughter ) this was all great sharing. i think now we should end with our affirmation. >> i am bigger than my online abuse. i am more than my name. i am worthy of likes. i am worthy of followers. i will be strong and not go into my d.m.s. im not a disgrace to the sandusky family. >> all right, that's beautiful. ( applause ) >> trevor: the real roy wood jr., everyone. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) you want to bring the heat?

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new! zzzquil pure zzzs. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a comedian who wrote and directed his first feature film, "eighth grade." >> she's different generation than us. >> she's not a different generation. >> yes, she is. >> she's four years younger than us. >> but people who are four years older than us are (bleep) 15 years old. your sister? >> my sister just sucks. >> okay, but, like, on top of that, she didn't have twitter in middle school, and we did. that made us different. >> clearly a lot different than us. >> when did you get snapchat, what grade? >> fifth grade. >> fifth grade!

>> what! >> trevor: please welcome bo burnham ( cheers and applause ) >> thank you. >> trevor: welcome to the show, bo burnham. >> happy to be here, trevor. >> trevor: it is so good to have you, man. your journey has been one that i have watched and enjoyed from afar for a very long time. and then i met you in the comedy scene. but bo burnham, for so many people, was one of the first-- quote, unquote-- internet sensations. >> yeah, bo burnham for most people was, "who?" but, yes. ( laughter ) for some people, i was an internet sensation, which is a term i love. ( laughter ) ( applause ) yeah, baby! a sensation. >> trevor: here are you as bo burnham. the savant, this comedy genius like music and comedy and making everything. and you stepped on to the stage, you know, and what really intrigued me is when you talk about the stories of how uncomfortable you were in a

space where you seemed completely comfortable. >> yeah, i mean, i was having panic attacks on stage regularly, which is chill. ( laughter ) and, yeah, i-- i don't know. i would talk about my specific anxieties of being on stage performing, thinking that they were specific to what i was at the time-- a 25-year-old male comedian with an audience. and i would do my showz shoez and talk about that and 13-year-old girls would come up to me after and say, "i feel exactly like you do." truly. if there was a bridge i had to walk to make this movie, it was built by them to me. i felt understood by eighth grate gradegirls before-- ( laughter ) truly, truly. people always said, "he's just a comedian for eighth grade girls." and at a certain point i was like, hell, yeah, i am and made a movie. >> trevor: you made a movie that seems so specific and i feel like it speaks to everything that most people go through in life. and you look at this movie, you have a fantastic story about a young girl who is going through her final week of eighth grade. and it's also about the impact

of social media on her life. like, did you find parallels between your life and the story that we're told of her life in this film? >> yeah, i just set out to talk about how i was feeling, and then i found out i was feeling like an eighth grader. truly i feel like-- usually there's a sort of crappy narrative that the only sphwrtz human condition are about some, like, poet in the woods or some dude with a sword. why can't it be about a girl walking into a pool party? why can't it be about her. >> trevor: you have been part of the internet cult are if a longer time than many people. do you see that? is that what you put in the movie? there are parts in the movie where i'm watching it and i'm going, "yeah, we do that. we want soon seen by people, like, in the not-real world, but the people in the real world are trying to have conversations with us and we don't care. we're all doing this thing, trying to see where the likes come from. >> right. >> trevor: is that something you experienced? is that why you put that in the movie? >> my impulse was the more i engaged with the internet, the less authority i felt i had over

it. there's so much commentary about the internet, so many people talking about cyber-bullying in russia. and there's a sutler conversation to be had like how is it interfacing with our hearts? i didn't want to have a sort of finger-wagging movie. there are a lot of movies that seem likeue know, they try to, like, shove the internet into it where it feels like a taco bell commercial where it's #chalupa. should i not say that? taco bell is great. there's so much commentary about the internet. there's not a lot of description of it. and i feel like we're all in it, and in 20 years, when the kids in my movie become social scientists i'll be very curious to hear what they have to say about it. until then, we just need to take emotional inventory. i don't think we've even begun to describe what the internet slet alone be able to talk about it, some 50-year-old dusty dude telling me about, like, social trends. just, stop it. >> trevor: if you were to try and sum up the feeling of the

movie in a short soundbite, what would you hope it would be? what would you want people to walk away from after watching "eighth grade." >> i hope it feels like eighth grade which is horrible and strange and weird and my body is exploding and help me, woo-hoo. "eighth grade" feels like right now when is scary and weird and funny and sad. i hope people pooem just feel. >> trevor: feel. >> feel. >> trevor: woo-hoo. >> chalupa, baby. thank you, trevor. >> trevor: "eighth grade" is in select cities now. you really want to go watch this movie. it will be in theaters nationwide august 3. bo burnham, everybody. we'll be right back. alright guys let's go! let's do this directions to the greek theater (beep) ♪can i get a connection? ♪can i get can i get a connection?♪ ♪can i get a connection?

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