the world has ever... ( gun firing ) ow. three down and... one to go. hey, did you see some pot-bellied old guy with loser glasses come huffing past here? hank: uh, sure. he's traveling up the creek bed to cover his tracks. oh, and, uh, young fellow? you lose. hey, his scoop's bigger. i think you're going to enjoy the world of acoustics.

( dissonant acoustic noise ) this sucks! ( knocking ) who could that be? good lord! that could start a fire! ( laughing ) now what's happening? he's stomping it good. and there's doodies in there, right? there sure is, pops. there sure is. ( cheers and applause ) >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪

>> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! thank you so much for tuning in! i'm trevor noah! our guest tonight -- our guest tonight, rapper a$ap rocky is joining us, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) yeah! we're going to talk about rap and youth culture, word up! ( laughter ) but first, let's catch up on today's headlines. let's kick off with news from wall street. >> some major news on wall street. apple just became the first american public company to reach $1 trillion in value. >> trevor: $1 trillion. that's it, folks. apple has officially won

capitalism. wrap it up. it's over. i'm going to be honest. i don't know how they made $1 trillion. i saw the headline on my iphone. i said, that can't be right, full story on my macbook. even when i had the ipad and blew it up, it sounded so much money! i was listening to it on my iphones and ipad. they had a meeting. we'll never know. >> pope francis is changing the church's stance on the death penalty. the head of the catholic church said it should never be allowed since it attacks human dignity. previously death penalty was allowed only if it protected people from aggressors. now they say there are new ways to protect society. >> trevor: new pope again! first he said gay people are

cool, then dogs can get into heaven. one day he's going to be like tuesday is ladies night at the vatican! let's do it, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) let's do it! but i will say, i was surprised to find out, though, that the church used to be against killing but they had a few exceptions, which is like something i never thought of. do they do that with other commandments? thou shalt not commit adultery unless she's smoking hot then thou may covet that ass! thou shalt not take my name in vain unless it's about that ass, goddam! ( laughter ) moving on, video games are getting harder and harder, but, thankful, people rine sane. the "wall street journal" reports parents are hiring coaches to tutor their children in the popular combat survival game fort night. they want to improve children's

skills for college scholarships and bragging rights. >> trevor: nothing gets bragging rights like kids getting a coach to play videos games. i used to suck but i got a coach. you still hate me? okay. it's definite a worth while investment. if i put pokémon money into bit coin i would only have $19 million. instead i have great memories! ( laughter ) if all honesty,ip actually worried the more overbearing parents become about playing video games the more kids rebel against them. it will be ( bleep ) you, dad! i'm reading books! i said, no home work till you finish your videos games! don't you dare pick up that violin! back to the console this minute! i want to be a doctor! not under my rife! ( laughter )

moving on to the top story. robert mueller, as he continues his methodical pursuit of the world's most brilliant criminal mastermind, we're seeing casualties of his investigation pile up. this week, a federal court in virginia began hearing testimony in the trial of paul manafort, donald trump's former campaign chairman and world's sketchiest lego man. thanks to mueller, manafort is now charged with 18 counts of tax evasion, bank fraud, money laundering and using his roommate's hbo go password. you didn't think they could come after you for that? you guys are in trouble. ( cheers and applause ) prosecutors wand to introduce paul manafort into the world. >> prosecutors focused efforts on portraying manafort as a man who lived lavishly child cheating on taxes. >> multiple homes and cars. >> nearly a million he spent on landscaping including a flower

bed in the shape of an m. >> manafort spent over $18,000 on a karaoke setup. >> trevor: $18,000 on a karaoke set? if i spent that much money on karaoke, it better come with drunk japanese businessmen to sing for me. $18,000? ( applause ) let me tell you something, if i spent that much money on karaoke, best believe it my house every night a karaoke night. every night. yo, trevor, shouldn't we watch the super bowl? i think we should be singing karaoke. i'm getting my money! ♪ ebony and ivory ( laughter ) i'm singing! as lavish as that sounds, one part of paul manafort's life where he spared no expense. >> in five years manafort spent $929,000 on suits. >> a $15,000 ostrich jacket, also more than $18,000 python coat. >> trevor: okay, first of all,

if you're trying not to seem evil, maybe don't dress as a snake. ( laughter ) also, also, what's the point of wearing ostrich if you're going to take off all the feathers? that seems like a waste. if i'm wearing ostrich, it better look like this. i want to see i'm wearing ostrich, people! ( cheers and applause ) i want to see it! and, look, you know, it's really interesting to see what's happening here. it feels like the prosecution is trying to turn the jury against manafort by showing them that he's the kind of asshole who owns a $15,000 ostrich jacket. yeah, and after seeing a picture of this jury, something tells me this just might work. ( laughter ) so, of course, everyone is watching this trial, but nobody is watching closer than manafort's former employer. >> president trump today wading into the trial of his former campaign chairman tweeting who was treated worse, alphonse

capone, legendary mob boss, killer and public enemy number one, or paul manafort, political operative and reagan doll darling, now serving solitary confinement, although convicted of nothing. >> trevor: i'm sorry. alphonse capone? who calls al capone by his full name? ( laughter ) every time i think trump has hit peak wearedness, he gets weirder. is that his thing? "and then i was talking to kimberly kardashian, and she was so grateful for how i helped her ruse kanye west-ero, great guy, great guy! ( laughter ) trump is not enjoying how mueller has his buddy on trial. >> president trump was outraged after learning that among the

topics special counsel mosht mosht wants to question him about is obstruction of justice. sources say it enraged him so it prompted this extraordinary tweet that critics say could amount to obstruction, the president writing "attorney general jeff sessions should stop this rigged witch hunt right now before it continues to stain our country any further." >> trevor: this is so insane. president trump may have obstructed justice because he's mad about being accused of obstructing justice. he's just proving their point. it's like when somebody tells you to calm down and you're, like, what do you mean calm down?! i'm calm! i'll kill you for saying that! ( cheers and applause ) calm down, man. and now, although it seems like obstruction --

>> he used the word should, not must, and there was no presidential directive that followed it. they didn't direct him to do it and he's not going to direct hill to do it. >> trevor: you should get the ( bleep ) out of here. ( cheers and applause ) rudy giuliani is making it sound like trump eats tweet was just a helpful suggestion and that trump is not jeffings' boss and the most powerful man in the world. you know, it's like darth vader telling you, you should really consider joining the dark side, but no presh, whatever, just a suggestion. ( laughter ) and if you weren't convinced by colludy giuliani, sarah huckabee sanders had an even more creative defense. >> there's a reason hat the president's angry and, frankly, most of america is angry as well, and there's no reason he shouldn't be able to voice that opinion. look, the president is not

obstructing, he's fighting back. >> trevor: whoo! the president is not obstructing, he's just fighting back. yeah, fighting back against an investigation of you is obstructing. ( laughter ) like sarah sanders wants to frame it like it's self-defense. that's what self-defense is obstructing the punch from hitting your face. that's obstruction. ( laughter ) and team trump has one more defense. >> yeah, president's lawyer rudy giuliani told the "new york times" if you're going to obstruct justice, you do it quietly and secretly, not in public. >> what they're trying to do is stitch together an obstruction case based on public tweets, on the exercise of first amendment rights. people don't obstruct justice in public. if you're going to obstruct justice, you're going to do it in private. ( laughter ) >> trevor: that is a brilliant argument. until you take a moment to think about it.

because obstruction of justice isn't about whether it's private or public. private is just how most people do it, right? but most people also don't want to bang their daughter. ( audience reacts ) and even those who do don't talk about it on "the view." donald trump is not a normal person. like what's crazy about this is, if there was a tape where trump told sessions in private that he should end the mueller probe and we discovered the tape, that would be the end. it would be obstruction, impeachment game over. but because he did it in public, he can get away with it. it's amazing trump has the superpower, does the bad things in public -- i don't know how to explain it, like there's no other instance where doing a bad thing publicly is bert. nothing else works like that. when you see someone master baiting on the subway, no one's sitting there, going, i'm glad you're doing it in public. that makes it better. good job. ( laughter ) we'll be right back ( cheers and applause )

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>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." ( cheers and applause ) from the day jeff sessions recused himself from the russia investigation, president trump has been accusing him and abusing him harder than popeye abuses steroids. ( laughter ) spinach my ass. and a time has gone on, trump's ataks on his attorney general have only gotten worse. >> i am disappointed in the

attorney general. he should not have recused himself. he made a terrible mistake for the country. >> the president called sessions beleaguered and weak. >> he privately calls mr. jetions mr. mcgoo. >> a source tells the news president trump is bashing sessions in private for recusing himself from the russians inquiry, that he can't get sessions out of his mind. >> trevor: that's right, i can't get him out of my mind. every little thing i do he's on my mind, on my mind. hey, everything i do. the way i have been lately is driving me crazy. round and round i do -- ( cheers and applause ) now, anybody else who had to deal with this type of abuse would probably say, you know what? screw this, i don't have to deal with harassment, i'm going to work at fox ( laughter ) sessions lets it roll off his back. while trump rants and rays,

sessions is at the justice department living his best confederate life. he's been working to defund sanctuary cities, backing lawsuits against obamacare, he supports purging voter roles and trying to get more people the death penalty. jeff sessions it is is busier an kevin hart, and somehow even shorter. ( laughter ) ( applause ) and sessions is just getting started. in fact, this week, he dropped another new project. >> attorney jeff sessions announced today the justice department is creating a religious liberty task force saying western culture is less hospitable to people of faith. >> a dangerous movement, undetect bid many but real is now challenging and eroding our great tradition, our religious freedom. it must be confronted intellectually and politically and defeated. >> trevor: that's right. we want to protect religious

people's rights to infringe on other people's rights. that's what we need. to be honest, i don't know what a religious liberate task force is, but the name sounds a lot like something from one of those cheesy 1980s tv shows. >> america is in a moral crisis, but now help is on the way. >> today, i am announcing our next step, the religious liberty task force -- tax force -- task force -- >> jesus christ -- >> no, robochrist. >> robochrist patrols the streets, making the country safe for the christian right. >> our new wedding cake looks great. >> what are you doing? >> no homo. >> we're being attacked by atheists? ♪ happy holidays! >> say it! >> i won't say it! >> god bless.

>> aaahhh! >> oh, shit. >> oh, thank you so much, robo christ. >> let us pray. >> actually running a little bit late. >> let-us-pray. >> okay... we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) rise to grapeness.

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album is called "testing." please welcome a$ap rocky! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to the show. >> man, thanks for having me. finally. it's cozy up here. i always dreamed of coming here. >> trevor: oh, you did? >> oh, yeah. >> trevor: that's not something i think a$ap rocky would dream about. i've seen your music videos and feel like you only dream about psychedelic things involving weed or something else. ( laughter ) that's nice to know i was in one of your weed dreams. welcome to the show. thank you very much, welcome to the show! ( cheers and applause ) >> yeah, since you started this, i have been a fan, man, it's tight. >> trevor: i appreciate it. >> since you started taking over, it's lit. >> trevor: let's get into the album. "testing," a highly anticipated album, three years in making. you said you waited a bit

because you didn't want to release their album when everyone was releasing -- like you wanted to release it at the same time everyone else because you didn't want people to think it was fire. that's a confident move. why three years in th the making and now? >> i don't know. seems like to me especially this year, 2018, hip-hop, all the pros and vets, everybody's been dropping albums and they've all been good. that's a great time that's basically what i was trying to articulate is that i listened to the songs on the album. there was one track where you were dissing mumble rappers. i was, like, as a fan of mumble rap, i literally sat back and i was, like, really, a$ap rocky, you gonna -- ( mumbling ) >> you looking for a record deal? >> trevor: i am. >> let's get it. >> trevor: asap signing me up

now! ( cheers and applause ) you're not just a rapper. you're an executive as well. you're in the business. a lotto people refer to you as a fashion icon. you're always on the forefront of what's happening in the fashion. sometimes people teak speak to you more about fashion than rap, which is insane. then there is this secret organization that is connected to you somehow that no one speaks about or is allowed to speak about. i won't say what is org, but what is org doing? >> org is a collective of young greatives from artists to musical artists and we get together to see how we want to mastermind or take over or manipulate or change the aesthetic, things the way things are in culture, film, fashion. i've got a surprise for you today, man. speaking of org. i hope i didn't -- >> trevor: you got a -- like a - ( cheers and applause ) >> i got a little surprise, man. hopefully you like these.

these are made by org. these are our new sneakers. that's for you, trev. i left the -- >> trevor: wait, wait, wait -- i was told you were designing a pair of sneakers with under armor and they were secret and no one is allowed to talk about them. >> well, these -- >> trevor: are these secret shoes? >> those are secret shoes. >> trevor: you brought me secret shoes? >> those are secret shoes. >> trevor: he got me secret shoes. you being serious now? >> hope you like them. it's complicated to take them out. you might need assistance with that. >> trevor: yo, these aren't even out yet. >> no, not yet. next month. ( cheers and applause ) yes, sir, yes, sir. >> trevor: can i just tell you you've made my life. i grew up in a world where i would wear shoes after people. ( laughter ) and now i'm wearing them before. all of y'all! ( laughter ) a$ap rocky, everybody! a$ap rocky's "testing" is available now! make sure you go out and get it

( cheers and applause ) ♪