welcome to tide pods talk with gronk. i'm gronk! i'm big and awesome, but this guy is little, can it really clean? heck yeah it can! it's concentrated detergent plus stain fighters plus odor flighers that fight for clean. boom! even this entire bottle can't beat tide pods. and now a word from future gronk: ugh... tide pods. if it's clean, it's got to be tide. ♪ gonna spend the day ♪ over at fenway thank you so much, derek jeter. i thought a big baseball hotshot like you would be too busy to help us old ladies across the street. i always have time to look out for my elders, yankee fan or no. is that a barrel of chum? (screams)

♪ only at fenway ♪ ba-dum, ba-da-dum um, i'll meet you inside. i have to make a call. okay. -(sighs) -(line rings) -it's herb. you know what to do. -(beeps) hey, herb, look, (stutters) i think we have some unfinished business. it seems like life's too short to hold grudges and stuff like that, you know what i'm saying? about life being too short? well, of course you know what i'm saying here. you're the one with terminal-- so anyway, i thought maybe we could chat. why don't you give me a call? this is bojack. horseman. obviously. -(phone rings) -ugh, who keeps calling me? come on, bojack. pick up, pick up. -i'm sure he'll pick up. -it's bojack. you know what to do. [patriotic music] announcer: from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, "the daily show with trevor noah" presents...

♪ [hip-hop music] [patriotic music] - a man who migrated from west africa to paris, he's now being hailed a hero after a daring spider-man-style rescue of a four-year-old. this is some amateur video that captured the boy dangling from an apartment balcony on saturday. 22-year-old mamoudou gassama jumped into action. he scaled the building, climbed to the fifth floor just in time to save the boy's life. the french president rewarded him with a french citizenship, and a job as a firefighter. - yeah, wow. [cheers and applause] wow. you know, no matter how much i see that video, i'm still shocked every single time. that dude is amazing. like, i wouldn't climb that high for my own baby. you know? just be like, "jump. daddy will catch you." i don't know. and, although i am proud of him, i'm a bit disappointed that he gave the game away for other africans. like, you can't let white people know

that we can do that kind of stuff. and you know, for me, oh, the best part of this video is, it shows you why every country needs immigrants because they work so much harder. because, i don't know if you noticed this, but at the bottom of the video, there's a white guy who's also trying to climb up. [laughs] [laughing] he's just like, "[grunts]." [laughs] yeah. yeah. that's the result of ten generations eating croissants and puff pastries. that's what that is. [hip-hop music] one man just brought new meaning to the phrase "i'll never let go." - it was the viral video so wild it almost seemed hard to believe-- a man clinging to a car speeding down a florida highway at nearly 70 miles per hour, holding on for dear life for nearly 15 minutes. but it was very real for junior francis and his ex-girlfriend behind the wheel.

[cheers and applause] - i feel like this is one of those math problems. a car is traveling at 70 miles per hour for 15 minutes with a guy on the hood-- where are they? answer: florida. [cheers and applause] and can i tell you--can i tell you what i find amazing, is how calm that dude's 911 call is. he's so relaxed. meanwhile, whenever we find out about some white lady calling the cops, she's like, "dear, god, help! "there's a black girl selling water! please, 911!" and this guy's like, "hello, ma'am, i hate to bother you, "but i'm currently atop a car hood, "traveling at a rather high veloci-- yes, i'll hold. i'll hold." [twangy country music] ♪

some news stories help us understand the world we live in, and some news stories are just stupid. for those, we turn to ronny chieng. [upbeat music] ♪ - thanks, trevor. everyone always says they want to be rich, but be careful what you wish for, because sometimes you can get so rich, you start doing dumb shit like this. - silicon valley is famous for its eccentric homes and outlandish property values, but the newest status symbol in the neighborhood is the chicken coop. - scott vanderlip's chickens make themselves right at home. - are you gonna come in the house? - the software engineer believes he's found the perfect antidote to computers and code and has the big data to prove he's not alone. - there are thousands, maybe 10,000 chicken coops in silicon valley. i mean, there are-- - 10,000? - there are a lot of coops. - that's right, silicon valley millionaires are adopting chickens as pets,

because what do you get the person who has everything? mm, how about bird flu? - the birds sometimes get a break from eating bugs with treats like melons and salmon. caring for the chickens is a family affair. - justin and i, like, we will come home in the evening after a stressful day at work and pull up our chairs and just, like, sit here and watch the chickens go crazy. - yeah, i don't think the chickens are the ones going crazy, all right. you're the ones drinking wine and watching birds poop on your lawn like it's shakespeare in the park. you're silicon valley! what are you doing? you gave the world youtube and netflix, remember? you can't invite people over to chicken and chill. and it turns out, these people don't even care about the animals-- they're just showing off. - for the valley's growing community of backyard farmers, the investment in heritage birds pays off in a status symbol of sorts; colorful eggs that can be given as gifts to friends.

- yeah, what a great gift. i love when i'm having a super bowl party and my rich friend brings over raw, pale, green eggs. even the chickens must be like, "what are you doing? "those came out of my chicken pussy and now you're handing them out like cuban cigars?" [laughter] listen, if rich people want to own chickens like third-world farmers, whatever, right. the problem is when rich people pretend to be poor, they're still spending way too much money doing it. - online, companies are hatching plans for do-it-yourselfers to build stylish backyard coops. - i built this--this coop, especially for them. - laura menard's custom built chicken coops have antique stained glass windows and detailing added by a master carpenter. do you think your chickens are happier in there than they might be in some similar coop? - well, i-i--no, i don't think they care. [laughter] - you don't think they care?

i know they don't care. all right? they're chickens! oh, and by the way, if you're thinking about getting into this new chicken craze, i got some bad news. you're already too late. - i always tell people, chickens are actually just the gateway drug to beekeeping. beekeeping is the new thing, you know. - are you suggesting that sometime soon, somebody's gonna say to me, "backyard chickens? that's so 2018"? - exactly! [laughter] - that's silicon valley for you. "hey, you just bought that new thing? "boom! it's obsolete. "you like chickens? well, [bleep] you. it's bees now." but you know what, trevor? i see what's happening here. okay, we're just going further down the evolutionary chain. that's why i've already invested in the next, next trendy pet, all right. i'm talking about leeches! that's right, silicon valley! make like one of these guys and suck it! ♪ sometimes a day at the ballpark is more than just a day at the ballpark.

[stadium announcer] all military members stand and be recognized. no matter where or when you served, t-mobile stands ready to serve you. boo! ahhh! ahahaha! haha! [sigh] i'm sorry for what i did to your face. all good. have a break! [tearing, breaking] mmmm. [ding dong!] breaks are good. have one!

show me movies a grinch would love. [d[ bark ]!] nu uh, i'm picking the movie tonight. [ whimpers ] be sad, i enjoy it. show me grinchy movies. oh, goody. [ whimpers ] mmm, fine! show me movies max would like. see the grinch in theaters by saying... "get grinch tickets" into your xfinity x1 voice remote. [ laughing ] uh oh. something in my throat. there are so many toothpastes out there which one should i use?

choose one that takes care of your gums and enamel. crest gum & enamel repair cleans below the gum line and helps repair weakened enamel. gum & enamel repair, from crest. you'll make my morning, buty the price ruin my day.ou? complicated relationship with milk? pour on the lactaid, 100% real milk, just without that annoying lactose. mmm, that's good. and merbefore he was mean,ouuu! he was a lonely boy. but it's never too late to feel christmas joy. that's not gonna happen. ♪ ho ho ho max, today we're gonna steal christmas. ♪ ho-a, ho-a ho, santa's hoping to meet ♪ prepare to have your little dummy mind blown. poof! the grinch. rated pg. look around. with artificial intelligence,

we are not crawling or walking. we are flying. microsoft ai helps an architect bring history back to life. this is now. ai helps farmers grow more food with less resources. an engineer explores how ai can help the deaf see sound. innovation creates tomorrow, and tomorrow is here today. [hip-hop music]

♪ [jazzy music] - bert and ernie are beloved "sesame street" characters, but the question on everyone's mind this week was if that segment was brought to you by the letters lgbtq. - we are back now with bert and ernie and the burning question this morning: are they best friends or something more? - the question was raised publicly by a recent interview with former "sesame street" writer mark saltzman. saltzman, who joined the show in 1984, responded in part: saltzman's recollection set it off on social media and brought responses from sesame workshop, declaring in part that bert and ernie... - wait, muppets don't have a sexual orientation? uh, that's weird because i know for a fact that kermit and miss piggy smash hard.

that's what i--i know. i know this. they-- [cheers and applause] they even did an episode when the count counted all their sex positions. he was like, "one, reverse cowgirl. "two, sudanese jackhammer. ah, ah, ah, ah, ah." now, i don't really know if bert and ernie are gay, 'cause i mean, on the one hand, two guys living together for 40 years could mean they're gay, but it could also just be that they live in new york and apartments are expensive. and also, if they were gay, let's be honest: that eyebrow would have been addressed by now. would have been dealt with. [cheers and applause] but let's move on. let's move on because a school superintendent in texas did something racist. - a texas school superintendent's job may be on the line after he made a racist remark about houston texan's quarterback, deshaun watson. on a facebook post about the texans, onalaska isd superintendent lynn redden wrote,

"when you need precision decision-making, you can't count on a black quarterback." well, parents whose kids attend this school district were quick to come out against redden's comment. - i think he needs to be checked out for that. that needs to be addressed. - you think that comment's racist? - it sure sounds like it to me. [laughter] - okay, i'm--i'm gonna be honest. i didn't expect that accent to say something woke. i'm not gonna lie. like, i watched that clip, thinking i was gonna see a story about a racist, and it turns out, i'm the racist, because that was great. he's right. like, now i'm imagining that there's an entire crew of southern progressives just running around like, [southern accent] "hey, boy! "we don't take kindly to racists around here! "this here is tolerance country, you heard? "and by the way, congratulations "to bert and ernie. live your truth, boys! yee-ha!" [rock music] - staten island, a place famous for mob wives,

spray tans, and cheese sticks. but there's more to the wild life here than just beefed-up sleeve haters. so i met up with park ranger sarah aucoin to find out more. - there actually are a lot of wild animals here. we have a big population of deer, actually, in staten island. - you may have heard of "deer" when they went viral last august, or from that popular snapchat filter. adorable, right? wrong. - you know, in this case, there-- there can be too much of a-- of a good thing. the deer population can grow larger than the environment can support, and that's something we definitely want to control. - in six years, staten island went from 24 deer to nearly 1,000, leading to lyme disease, property damage, and the destruction of several suped-up nissan maximas. all right, so how are we gonna take care of this? kentucky-style? [imitates shotgun cocking] - we're not taking any lethal action. we're gonna be performing vasectomies. - sure. that's the--

yeah, that's the obvious solution to the problem. that would be the first thing that one would think of. - well, honestly, it is-- it is a little bit outside of the box. - way outside the box, and this raises one pressing question. woman to woman, when you cut their dicks off, does it feel good? - actually, i have to correct you. we're not castrating them. and, in fact, we're not gonna do it. we're hiring a contractor who has expertise in this area, tony denicola. - oh, so you got a guy, tony. - i got a guy, tony. - is it check and loan tony? - no. - free gas for handies tony? - this is not the same tony. - different tony? so i met up with dick-slayer tony, tony denicola. did you always know that you wanted to neuter deer, or did you lose a bet? - uh, no, it's a lot more complicated than that. - uh, yeah, tony's plan involved cameras, tracking, and--yes! i knew it! a gun! is it pretty precise when you shoot their dicks off? - um, we're not that good. - ugh. turns out, they're gonna tranquilize them

and give them operations. there's just one problem. - this idea is nuts. - meet deer expert al cambronne. - for this to work, we'd need to capture nearly all those bucks, and if only, say 20% remain, then we'll still have lots of fawns next spring. - so they're gonna still... - yeah. and one buck can happily breed many does. - well, staten island. - yeah. another problem is that deer can swim. bucks are going to be coming from new jersey. - bridge and tunnel deer are the worst. - and we'll be right back where we started. - and it gets worse! this is gonna cost $2 million! that's, like, over $5,000 a dick. - relative to the cost of not doing anything, we think it's a really wise investment. - one more problem with the vasectomy plan... - oh, jesus. - every fall, there's deer mating season,

what we call "the rut" does that don't become pregnant, they'll be back in heat. things get wild out there. - like a two-month [bleep] frenzy. - exactly. - or, like, summer bible camp. - yeah. - time to come up with a more realistic solution. have you thought about introducing japanese deer sex dolls? - well... that's a possibility. - worked for my husband. - hmm. - won't even look at me now. - deer are, during the rut... - nothing. it's like, i just had a baby. - interested in only one thing. - and your body changes, and biologically, things are a little bit different. and when you nurse, things happen to your body and you don't even want to know what happens down there after having the baby. it's like sometimes a woman just needs attention. sure, al was a great listener, but he had no solutions. but you know who might? good old-fashioned salt of the earth staten islanders. - take down those [bleep] with a baseball bat. - we should get some [bleep] mountain lions over here.

- this plan is gonna cost $2 million. - $2 million? give me and rob a million, and we'll take care of it. - we'll take care of it ourselves every deer on staten island. i'll wait in a treestand every night, and i'll get every deer, guaranteed. - i'll put them right in the headlock with my arms. - you look like christina aguilera. are you her? - no, i'm not christina aguilera. - oh, okay. - i got a few solutions. - what are they? - me and you... jump in my car, go back to my place. - that's when i realized we had the perfect solution this whole time, just for a different staten island problem. finally, time to cut some dicks off! [hip-hop music] ♪ hey, this one looks like a chameleon.

hmm... i don't see it. oh.. it's on. ♪ duck! ♪ whoa, careful chester. ♪ oh, now i see it. ♪ stylish. what do you see in your cheetos? well, if you're celebratingt by eating reese's.ween? then no, you're actually late. not sorry, reese's. ♪ these guys are mushroom jack chicken fajitas ♪ ♪ just look at this new chili's 3 for $10 wonder ♪ ♪ there's jack cheese and bacon ♪ ♪ and--you guessed it-- mushrooms ♪ ♪ you're a good guesser go get some fajitas ♪ ♪ 3 for $10 bucks baby, bucks, baby, bucks ♪ mmm-hmm... ♪ oh, baby, 3 for $10 bucks ♪ ♪ baby, bucks, baby, bucks ♪ new olay foaming whip body wash.

luxe lather, with a weightless feel, transforms skin from dull to dreamy. new olay foaming whip body wash. ♪ music ♪laying ♪ ♪ ♪ahahahahaha. hahaha. discover the rainbow! taste the rainbow!

the choice lets you leaveabout choyour mark on the world.ne. we're leaving our mark on beer, with a seal that represents more than six thousand independent craft breweries. that's independence you're tasting. rated m for mature. ( ♪ ) man: (on radio) approaching the drop zone. ( ♪ )

♪ welcome to the party play new content first on ps4. electronic voice: playstation. ♪ [hip-hop music]

♪ [funky music] - this week-- this week marked a milestone in civil rights history; the 50th anniversary of franklin's first appearance in the comic strip "peanuts." and what's really fascinating is his origin story. - april 1968. martin luther king had been shot and killed. american cities burned in rage. in california, a 42-year-old teacher and mother of three felt helpless. - and i remember sitting in suburbia, saying, "is there anything i can do?" - harriet glickman wanted to reach someone with influence. she wrote to charles schulz. his "peanuts" comic strip was read by nearly 100 million people each week. charlie brown, lucy, linus, they were all white. glickman told schulz he should integrate. - okay, that was pretty dope of that lady, but, uh--

[cheers and applause] yeah, but-- but at the same time, also kind of a weird reaction to a tragedy. i mean, martin luther king is dead, there's chaos in the streets, and her first reaction is, "maybe charlie brown can help." like, i wonder if there's some nice suburban lady today going, "did you know they're putting kids in cages? "we gotta get garfield on the case. where is he?" [laughter] and-- and the creator of "peanuts," charles schulz, he made sure that franklin's arrival was a statement. his first appearance in the comic strip was at a beach swimming with white kids. and that may seem trivial now, but don't forget, for many people in 1968, blacks and whites swimming together was not a normal thing, and this image was seen by 100 million people. 'cause "peanuts" in the '60s had the same kind of cultural dominance as "friends" in the '90s, which, unlike "peanuts," never managed to add a full-time black friend.

for more on this civil rights trailblazer, we turn now to our very own roy wood, jr., everybody! [cheers and applause] - [indistinct] - roy, no matter who you are, you've gotta love franklin, right? - oh, man, love him? are you kidding, man? franklin was a straight-up g. integrated the shit out of "peanuts." here's the thing: newspaper franklin was great. newspaper franklin was great, you can't argue that, but when they put him on tv, it was a different story. all of a sudden, they made him a stereotype. [all] - ♪ you do the hokey pokey ♪ and you turn yourself around ♪ ♪ that's what it's all about [hip-hop music playing] - ♪ it's all about all the calls we've done ♪ ♪ you'll be shakin' in your shoes ♪ ♪ we're the team invincible ♪ and we're not gonna lose [laughter] - why... why couldn't franklin just do the "hokey pokey," trevor?

you telling me black kids can't put their left foot in, and take they left foot out? it looked like franklin was auditioning for "house party 2." - yeah, but roy--but roy, it's still cool to have him in there, even if he had one dance break. - it was every time with this kid. any time you walk down the street in peanuts-ville, you might run into franklin and his homeboy pop-lockin', and even when he's hanging out with his friends, everyone else gets a normal handshake, but no, not franklin. he gotta slap skin. see what i mean? all the other peanuts are just kids, but franklin's running around peanut-ville like a damn baby shaft. he's a tiny, bad mother-- - shut yo mouth! - i'm talkin' about franklin! look, i just don't want him to be the other kid all the time. even at thanksgiving. yeah, they invited him, but look where they put him! he's by himself! even the dog gets to sit with the kids.

why is the dog even at the damn table? it's cool, though, franklin. franklin, look, man. franklin, they did you a favor. you don't want none of that bland-ass white people turkey anyway. they ain't putting no sprinkles on there. you know they don't season the food, right? have--y'all have thanksgiving in africa? - yeah, roy, anyway--like, i hear what you're saying, but--i liked having franklin on the screen. i think it's important for kids to be able to see a version of themselves. - okay, cool. so if that's the case, the cartoon should honor the original revolutionary spirit of franklin. if you gonna make him rap, do it right. - ♪ this is america ♪ don't catch you slippin' up ♪ ♪ don't catch you slippin' up ♪ ♪ look what i'm whippin' up - roy wood, jr., everyone! we'll be right back! [hip-hop music] ♪ grei'm a musician feel gooabout to embarkyear. on a concert tour down south. it's your job to get don to all his tour dates on time. it's good money. we need it.

in a divided nation... in the deep south, there's gonna be problems. get your hands off him. now! you never win with violence, tony. his music broke barriers. where did you learn how to play like that? my mother. as soon as i could walk. don shirley has performed at the white house, twice. and inspired an unexpected friendship. this is the best fried chicked i ever had. have a piece. it ain't gonna kill ya. do you have plates or utensils? eat it with your hands. i gotta drive. [ laughing ] pick it up, tony. squirrels would'a ate it anyway. pick it up. you're in the business of helping people. we're in the business of helping you. business loans for eligible card members up to fifty thousand dollars, decided in as little as 60 seconds. the powerful backing of american express. don't do business without it. how do they make starburst taste so juicy? they use wicked small fighter jets to shoot the juiciness into every starburst. [ pilot ] it's about to get juicy.

whoo! i feel so aliii... it takes guts. [ female announcer ] starburst. unexplainably juicy. [hip-hop music] ♪ - the ku klux klan is not the powerhouse organization they once were, but they have a new plan to get back on top. - kkk recruiters are trying to lure kids in upstate new york with candy.

klan members have been reported meeting children as they make their way to the bus in the morning. apparently, they're handing out bags of fliers and snickers candy bars. - oh, man! now parents have to be extra worried if their kid comes home with candy. parents are gonna be like, "timmy, where did you get that candy?" he'll be like, "from a pedophile." "oh, thank god. i thought it was-- i thought it was the kkk. oh, my god." oh, and, you know, i think the kkk underestimates how smart kids are these days. like, if anything, the kids are gonna end up tricking the kkk. they'll be like, "thanks for the candy, mister. "now i hate mexicans and blacks. can i get more? can i get more?" and as soon as he turns away, he's like, "what a moron. doesn't he know that the most effective racism "is about dominating power structures, "not running around in a bed sheet? what a dumbass!" [hip-hop music] ♪