- god damn it. - keep fighting! stand your ground! - we can't fight without chi-chis! - you can, and you must! - stupid greedy haoles! kill them all! - [groans spookily] - [shouts] - [mumbling] thank you very much. [mumbled singing] come on. come on. [mumbling] thank you very much. [mumbling]

we have some chi-chis for me. - listen, everyone. we gave it all we had. it's over. we must go down to nawiliwili harbor and surrender to the american government. - surrender? no! to heck with that! - we can't hold out here any longer. - well, i won't do it! you hear me? i'm not licking anybody's testes! - young keiki, try to control your anger. - no! this is our home! and i'm sick of everyone who thinks they're better than me just 'cause they got good looks and just 'cause, even after massacring daredevil, they happen to come back and hit a home run that everyone loves! you shouldn't be able to be good-looking and be with jennifer lopez and be a good director! all right! all right! fine! argo is a good movie! there, i admitted it! i told people it didn't hold up, but it holds up, god darn it! ben affleck has everything. [shouts] - everyone! look, i say!

[cheers and applause] - yeah, chi-chi! - the haole did it! - "my dear friends of the mainland. "what adventures i have found on the tiny island of kauai. "i have truly become one with the natives, who found new courage to fight their oppressors." - we are not surrendering today! go back and tell your leaders that we will fight them until the end! [cheers and applause] - [sighs] you people just don't give up, do you? - "the american government finally gave in to the natives, "and had the mahalo rewards cards reinstated. "our two cultures, it appears, will once again live in peace." [cheers and applause] "with the war at an end, "our butters is able to have his hapa noa ceremony "and, with any help from the gods, become his old cheery self again."

- and so it is with great honor that we recognize these two natives with their hapa loa. take your cards, boys. a puy loa hapa loa! apa a a hoo ha! - [blowing conch weakly] - it's finally over, young keiki. is your anger at rest? - yeah, i guess so. except it still doesn't change the fact that ben affleck gets to be handsome, talented, and then gets to go home and kiss jennifer lopez. - ben affleck isn't with jennifer lopez anymore. he's married to jennifer garner. - yeah. - it's true. - what? really? but i thought i was totally jealous of him! he's just married to jennifer garner? oh, my gosh. i feel so much better! - you do? - yeah. oh, i like that ben affleck guy. he's a good filmmaker. come on, kenny. i guess i owe the kids at school an apology. did you see argo, kenny? it's a pretty good movie. ben affleck has a lot going for him. not everything, but a lot. whoopee!

>> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," everybody! we're back in new york city! i'm trevor noah! thank you so much! take a seat, everybody! let's get into it! in preparation for the midterm elections tomorrow, we have two guests joining us tonight, the republican governor of ohio john kasich is here and democratic senator from new jersey cory booker will be joining us! ( cheers and applause ) both of them, one show, and they don't know this yet, but one of them is the father of my baby! ( laughter )

#maury, #resist. but before we get to that, let's catch up on it did's headlines. as you probably know the migrant caravan coming from central america is now a few short several hundred miles from the united states border ( laughter ) and the welcoming committee is on the way to meet them. >> tonight a show of force with migrant caravans at least 700 miles away. the first wave of american troops arrives putting up barriers, wire men's fencing to keep migrants about. >> this could cost upwards of $200 million by the end of the year. >> trevor: $200 million? for that money, you realize you could fly the entire caravan first class to scandinavia. ( laughter ) which, by the way, would be a lot more entertaining to watch, because you would see what those other countries are really about. it would be, like, america, the way you treat the needy is so heartless -- they're coming here? oh, wait. that's not going to work with.

yeah, we'll find out the swedish word for "wall." ( laughter ) down on the mexican border, america already has the border patrol, the national guard and you have space force, don't forget that. so you don't really need the army there. but trump will find an excuse to use the troops for anything. next thing you know he'll be, like, this table is so wobbly folks let's get a troop under that leg. thank you for your service! great job! ( laughter ) mr. trump issued sanctions on iran to punish them for upholding their end of the iranian nuclear deal. >> president trump is facing backlack for promoting sanctions against iran. the president posted this picture yesterday morning with the quote "sanctions are coming." the picture and a text are a knockoff of hbo's "game of thrones" and the slogan winter is coming. hbo tweeted "how do you say

trademark misuse in dothroki?" >> trevor: is anyone taking politics seriously anymore in the president is dropping "game of thrones" memes for sanctions? he should do that for all his follows. better cal wall. and america's got tax cuts, and orange hates the new black. ( cheers and applause ) also in international news, there's a new tallest man in the world. he's indian, he's made of bronze and he's worth a fortune. >> india has unveiled the world's tallest statue, twice the size of the statue of liberty. the freedom fighter patel credited with bringing the country together after india gained independence from great britain in 1947. >> the state government says it's 597 feet tall and costs

$403 million. >> trevor: $400 million for a statute. you realize that for that amount of money you could fly the caravan back from sweden first class and pay them to put up barbed wire to block themselves. ( laughter ) what are you doing india? why not build one of gandhi? he's also famous and much skinnier, okay? they could have saved on materials. same height, half the cost. let's move on to our main story. tomorrow is election day. which makes tonight election eve. i don't know about how your family celebrates but i like to put on my ugly voting day sweater. i watched that episode of charlie brown where he gets purged from voter rolls. you can tell the midterms is the most important in history because america is lean hard on its number one patch resource celebrities. >> celebrities out this weekend trying to get out the blue vote. >> leonardo dicaprio and brad

pitt unailing ads about what's at stake. >> fill fell feral with stacey abrams in florida. >> farrell to alicia keys showing up. >> amy schumer went to school to cast her vote. >> electrifying votes for stacey abrams, knocking on doors -- >> hi, i'm oprah! >> trevor: damn! oprah coming to your door and asking for your vote has to be the most effective thing ever. if oprah showed up at my house and asked me to do anything, you better believe i would do it. i talking anything. she would be, like, i need you to hide this dead body, i would be, like, whoa! i get to hide a dead body for oprah! ( cheers and applause ) i think having oprah could also backfire because if i knew oprah might show up i'm staying home

all day. i'm not going to leave to vote in case i misoprah. if they want people to vote, they need oprah to hide in one random voting booth in america and when someone comes she can pop out and go, it's me! oprah! ( laughter ) not just celebrities are coming out in full force. voting day is one of the biggest days for the fiches media. which means it's time to release the holograms! >> let's take a look at what's at stake. all 435 house seats are up for grabs. democrats need to pick up 23 to take control for first time in eight years in. the senate a much different story. the democrats are on defense. they need to gain two seats but could lose even more. >> a 50/50 tie here is loss for the democrats because, in the event of a tie vote, the tie breaker is vice president mike pence. >> trevor: wow, cool graphics, guys. i feel like that's how mike pence enters a room in real

life, just pops up out of nowhere whined a chair, well, hello, fellow colleagues... ( laughter ) i get why the news uses flashy graphics, best way to get complicated information across. that the why we've e invested in a holographic as i remember. the basics, this is the capitol building m. the house of representatives, you have -- ( laughter ) you know, i'll sign up later under another email address. let's go back. sorry. i don't know need graphics to tell you why tomorrow is huge. if the democrats take the house or the senate, they could block trump's nominees, they can block his legislation and democrats might even be able to see what's inside his tax returns. spoiler alert, it's hillary's e-mails. ( cheers and applause ) so that's if the democrats win. but if the democrats don't win either house, then trump will

see that as a mandate. he will be, like, oh, this means i should get even trumpier. you feel that tie was too look before? we're going ankle length, baby. also concentration tamps, but mostly tie lengths. but i don't know if it's because to have the celebrities or the guy who used to fake fire celebrities, but judging by the early voting numbers, these midterms could have the highest turnout ever. >> early voting already smashing records around the country, more than 34 million voters cast early ballots. >> turn out 18 to 29-year-olds up 186% in arizona and georgia up 162%. >> i spoke at this ted cruz rally outside dallas. raise your hand if you voted early. pretty much all of you. >> yes, we did. >> trevor: that woman in the denim jacket was clearly lying. no, no, no. like watch her closely.

>> raise your hand if you voted early. >> yeah, here. >> trevor: yeah. you see this? this is why i don't trust the polls, all right? all these denim jacket people are out here lying about how they voted. she just saw everyone else and she said, yeah, me, too, me, too. ( laughter ) i'm not picking on this woman. people can say whatever they want in the polls, it doesn't have to be true. they're like the tinder profiles of democracy. i'm bill, 6'3, love working out and definitely not the cincinnati strangler. swipe right if you have a skinny neck. ( laughter ) the point is, you shouldn't vote because of what the polls say. you should vote because there's a message that resonates with you or because you want to completely obliterate the other side. so after the break, we will be hearing from a republican and a democrat because there's very fine people on both sides and to decide who goes first, we're going to flip a coifnlt heads is

kasich, tails is booker. wow. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause )

( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my first guest is a republican. please welcome the former presidential candidate and current governor of ohio, john kasich. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> very nierks thank you. >> trevor: welcome back to the show. >> glad to be back. >> trevor: good to have you here at what is honestly looking to be one of the most exciting midterms in recent american history. let's start with the state of the race. you are term limited. >> right. >> trevor: and you're exiting as governor of ohio from what

many consider a very successful term. why are people in ohio so happy right now? >> my philosophy was you can't leave anybody out. so you want to help small businesses, you want to grow jobs, you want to reduce taxes, but if you reduce taxes for those on top, you have to make sure those who don't have much money get an advantage as well so we created the first earned income tax credit in the state of ohio. but if you're mentally ill, developmentally disabled, part of a minority group that never felt included, i think you do. expanded medicaid so people could get healthcare. my feeling is no one is left behind. we've heard that before. but whoever you are, we wanted to make sure you had a sense that the governor, the administration, whoever, cared about you and want you to have a chance. i think it's a good road map for all people in all political parties. >> trevor: you sort of answered my question but at the same time you told me what you did and why the people are happy. >> because they feel like

they're not being ignored. >> trevor: let's do this -- i thought of this today because we have two politicians on, and the election is tomorrow and people want to hang out with you, you're a real guy, so itch ronny chieng standing by and every time you give us a super politician-y answer, ronny will get dunked in a water tank. ( cheers and applause ) >> can you pull me out for someone else who can actually vote like roy or kosta or anyone else? >> trevor: it's the electoral college, ronny, thank you. back to the interview. if i can understand, the people of ohio are happy right now -- >> here's the deal. >> trevor: yes. >> if you want to be successful in public life, you can't care about all the polls and who you're making upset. what you have to do is say there's a problem here, let's fix it. and if it means it's an unconventional fix, that's fine because, in that case, you're

actually solving a problem. i think a lot of the times in politics, politicians are trying to check with people. >> trevor: right. >> is this okay, are you happy with that. if that's how you lead, you're not going to be successful. the job, being governor, there have been trying times. when you know what you want to do, strip the politics out and it works out. >> trevor: you are also a unique human being in that you're a dying breed of a republican who doesn't favor donald trump. >> i don't sit around being against donald trump. i wish he would be a yiewn fire and bring us together. >> trevor: john kasich has been referred to consistently as the sensible republican choice. do we see you running against donald trump in 2020? >> i don't know. don't go in the dunk tank yet because i have to give you the honest answer. ( laughter ) >> trevor: i feel like that's the dunk tank. ronny, go ahead. >> aaahhh! ( cheers and applause )

>> sorry, ronny. >> trevor: that was the governor. that wasn't even me. >> okay, look, right now, if you run against donald trump in the primary, you wouldn't win. people say you can run and wound him. i'm not the kind of person to do that. there is, however, an opening, i think, potentially, for an independent, third party run. ( cheers and applause ) because if the democrats go hard left and the republicans stay over on hard right, you have an ocean of people in the middle. and i don't want to waste my time or bother people's resources if i think i can be impactful to help the country, great. but there's other ways perhaps i could keep my voice out here. i would be remiss if i didn't say to people out here, you matter, because when our leaders don't take us in the right direction then we have to figure out what we can do and create a synergy from with our friends and neighborhoods to drive change from the bottom up. we saw it at the civil rights

movement. none of the politicians at the top wanted to do that, they were forced to do it. the vietnam war ended. young people marched and said we've had enough. it wasn't the leaders at the top. so what we do to send a message to those who are in is start caring about me and put all that political and partisan stuff, get rid of it, and if we can send at the message and do good where we live, that's the key. >> trevor: thank you so much for coming back into the show. ( cheers and applause ) governor john kasich, everybody! governor john kasich, everybody! when and the kendra.oes to... i got to go, i got to go, i just won, i just won! oh my gosh, i want to thank my mom, my manager, my babysitter, look girl, mama's on tv, yes! time to go to bed. ma'am, your order is ready. i'd like to thank my dog walker! your order is ready. it feels like a big win when you get a deal like this. introducing mcdonald's new $6 classic meal deal,

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maybe he could trust mrs. claus won't blame him for this. or, he could just trust duracell. i was on the fence about changing from a manual to an electric toothbrush. but my hygienist said going electric could lead to way cleaner teeth. she said, get the one inspired by dentists, with a round brush head. go pro with oral-b. oral-b's gentle rounded brush head removes more plaque along the gum line. for cleaner teeth and healthier gums. and unlike sonicare, oral-b is the first electric toothbrush brand accepted by the ada for its effectiveness and safety. what an amazing clean! i'll only use an oral-b! oral-b. brush like a pro. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my next guest is a democrat, the junior senator from new jersey and former mayor of newark, please welcome senator cory booker! ( cheers and applause )

♪ >> trevor: welcome back to the show. >> it is very good. is there any dunk risk going on right now? >> trevor: there's dunk risk right now. roy wood, jr. is at the dunk tank, if you throw talking points to me -- >> i don't feel if he drops now. he's already been down. >> trevor: that's a politician. ronny, you're going in just for that. oh, okay. >> glad we got that over with. >> trevor: okay, he's got scuba gear. he's senator. wwelcome back to the show. >> thanks, great to be here. >> trevor: what a tame to be a politician. i think it's the end of america, as many people are saying? >> to put things in perspective, we've seen darkness and wretchedness. i know people like to whitewash our history but we have had very dark and painful days. we've seen domestic terrorism, thousands of americans being lynched, children being bombed

in churches, but the power of america is not what's happened to us, it's how we have overcome those things. >> trevor: right. >> this moment in america, this is a defining moment. we o are at a crossroads. what excites me traveling across the country, i see the energy of people, many who admit they weren't on the sidelines, weren't engaged. the king quote the arc of moral universe bends towards justice, i don't think so, i think we should be arc benders and bend it towards justice. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: do you think trump was a necessary evil to get people off the sidelines? if people were no longer engaging if democracy and now you see more women and people of color running and more young people voting that be ever before? >> i think bad things happen

when good people don't vote. the opposite of justice is apathy and indifference, inaction. we've seen the consequences of that. a lot of people, no matter how dark it is or am defeats which may face say i am not going to be defeated, i am going to respond. i am not going to let donald trump or despair or hate have the last word. i am coming forward and that's the energy around the country. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: let's talk about the plans of the democrats. i don't know how to break this to you, but, for many people, they want the democrats to have more teeth. >> right. >> trevor: at the same time, michelle obama is saying, hey, if they go low, we go high. if the democrats were to win, what does that change for people on the ground and where do the democrats take the government moving forward? >> you know, so this is a little bit of my problem and this might get me into some trouble, but i've lived the last 0-plus years in my life in the inner city community in newark. i'm the onlier? who lives in a black and brown

inner city neighborhood. i have a young man shot on my block, a drug treatment center across the street. i have great people in terms of spirit and character but my neighborhood is like $14,000 per household. what angers me is before we even had a trump elected we had a criminal justice system that treats you bet for you're rich and guilty and poor and innocent. people think flint, michigan is an anomaly. there are a thousand jurisdictions where children have twice the lead blood levels than michigan. i can go through many things that shows we told rate injustice in our nation. democrat, republican, things voted on like the 1994 crime bill that exploded our criminal justice system 800% since 1980 alone. one out of 300 incarcerated women on the earth is here.

we jail survivors. 80% of the people in prison are survivors of sexual assault and trauma. every day i get up, i see the unfinished business of democrats and republicans, all oof us. >> trevor: right. what are your dreams and hopes. >> there are so many issues that should unite americans that are incongruent between what we say about ourselves and that are reality. not voting is not an act of rebellion, it's an act of sur surrender. tomorrow, if you're late, you can tell your boss because i was voting for my country. ( laughter ) i was going to be there for america. i'm late because i was standing for america. >> trevor: i love that. use that excuse tomorrow. senator cory booker, everybody. we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) ♪