ctoragn ain? i think she got it as a tip, but i don't know why she didn't just take cash. i don't care what she's doing. i hope she just keeps doing it. amen, just keep the ribs coming. [chuckling] >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: you, you you you you! welcome to "the daily show," everybody! thank you so much for tuning in! i'm trevor noah -- ( cheers and applause ) -- our guest tonight, here to talk about his new album, "poison," rapper man swizz beatz is joining us! i'm half swizz, so i'm really excited.

first, let's catch up on today's headlines. if you watched president trump's crazy press conference yesterday, i'm sorry, and you probably know by now about his argument with cnn reporter jim acosta which happens all the time, they're like the 50-cent and jar rule of politics. what's after new is after the press conference the white house banned jim acosta from the press room because they say he assaulted the intern who tried to take his microphone away from him and this white house does not tolerate grabbing women by the arm. it's only okay to grab them by the pussy like a gentleman. ( laughter ) the problem with the white house explanation is everybody saw acosta did not assault the intern, so the white house had to get a little creative with their evidence. >> a white house aide tried to grab the microphone and acosta appeared to brush her arm. >> sarah huckabee sanders tweeted out a different video, one sent out by info wars which is a far right conspiracy

web site been known to push far right extremist propaganda. this video was edit and sped up. >> and heavily manipulated, too. >> trevor: that's right, donald trump used a sped-up video from info wars, a conspiracy web site run by alex jones banned by twitter, youtube, spotify and every other, but the white house says we got you, man. ( laughter ) the fact that trump is using docketed footage to prove something everyone knows is a lie is deeply disturbing and laysy. if you're going to use a fake video, use a fake video. do something like this. >> you goddam girl! >> yeah! >> aaahhh! >> trevor: yeah, that totally happened. ( cheers and applause )

moving on, this morning, we got some disconcerting news about supreme court justice ruth bader ginsburg. she's recovering right now in the hospital after she fell in her office and broke three ribs. now, of course, we want to give our best wishes to justice ginsburg. she seems so much -- she's seen so much throughout her life. the rise of naziism, fight for civil rights and that's just been the past six months. ( laughter ) the worst thing is if you ask me which supreme court justices would have fallen down i would have picked drunky mcdrunk, not the fitness queen. so get well, ruth! spanking is back in the news and turns out it does hurt them more than you. >> country's leading pediatricians is calling for a ban onen spanking and says it may affect a child's brain development. they suggest rewarding positive

behavior and setting limits. >> trevor: i'm not saying they're right or wrong but i got spanked as a child ant it didn't affect my brain -- ( stuttering ) ( laughter ) maybe it's good to stop spanking. i'm worried about the future of s&m. people turn childhood punishments into fantasies. in 20 years, they will say, i have been so bad you're going to have to take away my iche ipad for two weeks! ( laughter ) let's move on to our main story! ( cheers and applause ) >> yesterday, president trump fired his attorney general jeff sessions, but before he left, he got to give his loyal subjects one final goodbye. >> can tears in his eyes, jeff sessions waving goodbye at a justice department send-off, shaking hands with the man replacing him just hours after the attorney general was fired by president trump. >> trevor: and that was it.

after that ceremony, jeff sessions hopped on a sleigh back to the north pole where he will only have seven weeks to finish making all those toys. ( laughter ) yeah, got to make all those toys for all those kids he put in cages. ( audience reacts ) but since sessions is done gosh too soon? ( laughter ) since sessions gone, focus on the man replacing him in another installment of profiles in tremendousness. >> i am the -- i have is most dedicated people. i have the best people. ( applause ) >> trevor: meet matt whitaker, acting attorney general and rarely jacked humpty dumpty. he was a tight end for the university of iowa, u.s. attorney for five years and failed senate candidate in 2014. in his spare time, he's an amateur power lifter. look at that guy. look at that. guy's got police tape around him. that's confidence right there. he's, like, you're gonna want to tape this off because i'm about to murder these weights! aaahhh! matt whitaker basically seems like the exact opposite of jeff

sessions. sessions also posted a photo of himself power lifting but it wasn't as impressive. ( laughter ) we've got to get all our short jokes in now. now or never, they're done. apart from being former u.s. attorney and looking like bane during the off season, one other thing about whitaker that probably makes him the perfect pick for president trump, he shares a similar passion for business ethics. >> matt whitaker the now acting attorney general after jeff sessions was fired, he's now linked to a company referred to as a scam. rule patent marketing billed itself as helping investors secure patent and whitaker was hands on showcasing a hot tub invention for a company that has since been shut down and slapped with a $26 million fine from authorities snowho. >> trevor: he will be interrogating bad guys like, tell me who your partner is!

you are. yeah, we had a good run, didn't we? ( laughter ) if you think whitaker looks familiar, you either just cleaned your bedroo your bathron watching a ton of cnn because every chance whitaker got, he was on the news saying this -- >> he needs to step in and pull the reins back on bob mueller if he starts to go outside his bounds of del segregation of authority. i think we should batch if he goes down the path of transactions. we now have no evidence of crime happening. >> trevor: he was on cnn over a dozen times shit talking mueller and his investigation. so unfair to robert mueller. the guy was trash talking him and now that guy is his boss. i know how much that sucks. when i was in school, a kid bullied me every day and one day i got home and he was my

step-dad. turns out, not just a coincidence whitaker was on tv trashing mueller. it was actually his latest scam. >> we know matt whitaker here. we've had him on the show a number of times. this is from attorney john q. barrette about a conversation he says he had in the green room before their joint appearance. he says whitaker told me in june of 2017 he was flying from iowa to n.y.c. to be on cnn regularly because he was hoping to be noticed as a trump defender and, through that, to get a trump judicial appointment back in iowa. >> trevor: devious and impressive. he knew trump spends all day watching cnn, so he wasn't just trash talking mueller for no reason. he was trying to lure the president in. basically whitaker was laying traps for trump and worked because trump slid in the d.m.s like i.d.t.f. -- down to fire sessions. ( laughter ) but whitaker's plans to get trump's attention on tv worked

better than expected because all he wanted was to be a judge in iowa and now he's the acting attorney general. that's like applying to be a cashier at ross dress for less and they're, like, forget cashier, you're ross! ( laughter ) so that's matt whitaker, the man taking jeff sessions' job. don't feel today bad for jeff sessions. i'm sure someone will offer him a job on cable news. it will be strange when trump sees him on tv and says i like that guy! he should be my attorney general! for more on jeff sessions getting fired we turn to dulce sloan, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) dulce -- cheemp ( cheers and applause ) -- jeff sessions is the 15t 15th high-profile firing of the trump uppresidency. why do you thinkup is firing so many people from his administration? >> because he can get away with it! every time trump fires one of

these bitch asses, they smile and nod and they crawl away. scaramucci was up there crying, john spencer went back to wherever his chin was, and did you see jeff sessions? he was shaking hands with the man who took his job! if i had to shake hands with the person who took my job, you would have to find another person to take my job. ( laughter ) and that person is going to need to find a new hand. ( laughter ) in fact, the only person who left with cigty is omarosa. >> she got dragged out kicking and screaming. >> exactly. it worked. trump hasn't fired a black woman since. ( applause ) >> trevor: i don't think trump has hired a black woman since. ( laughter ) >> that's not my point, okay? ( laughter ) my point is you teach people how to treat you. i remember the last time i got fired. i was laying hands like it was

sunday morning, okay? i told them, if i'm not making money, y'all not making money! that's why there's no more circuit city. ( laughter ) >> trevor: wow, i wish i had known all this before i hired you. >> oh, no! that's not gonna happen unless you fire me! and since you're not gonna do that, there's nothing to worry about! ( laughter ) is there? >> trevor: oh, no! of course not! let's move on. ( laughter ) if i hear you right, you're saying white house officials should make a scene whenever they're fired to make trump think twice before firing anyone! >> yeah, you're already being escorted out by the secret service, earn it. tear down the curtains, carve a dick into trump's desk. ( laughter ) don't just make the news, make history! >> trevor: dulce sloan, everybody! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause )

>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." so this is a fun story i wanted to share with you guys. yesterday in a courthouse in brooklyn a jury was selected in the trial of el chapo guzman. notorious drug lord and mexican shrek. now i realize i shouldn't have made that joke because now he's going to come after me.

not el chapo, shrek is who i'm worried about. people forget what he was like before he met fiona, man. ( laughter ) el chapo is a pretty dangerous guy, too, which is why nobody wants to be a part of sending him to jail. >> jury selection for the high profile trial of a mexican drug lord is now complete but this morning his reputation is sparking fear for the jurors' safety. monday a potential juror was dismissed after she told the judge what scares me is that guzman's family will come after jurors and their family. >> one perspective juror was dismissed after asking for the drug lord's autograph. >> someone was dismissed for liking a sandwich named el chapo at his local deputy. >> a woman who watched narcos was dismissed. >> trevor: this is the most gangster ever. that one person is, like, can i have your autograph? they're like, get out of here!

yeah! all these things are so genius! ( cheers and applause ) but the one that got me is when they said a woman got off jury duty because she watched narcos? by that logic no one should be on jury duty. there's a show about every crime. are you prepared judge this hit and run case? i just watched comedians in cars, i can't. ( laughter ) here's my favorite. >> finally, prosecutors dismissed a potential juror who works as a michael jackson impersonator because they felt it would be too hard to keep that person's identity a secret. ( laughter ) >> trevor: you know, that is such an unnecessary slam on the michael jackson impersonator because his job is to literally pretend to be someone else and the prosecutors are, like, no, we can tell it's you, larry. everybody will know it's you, larry. and you know he's upset about getting bumped because this will

be his big break. he will be on the jury, like, your honor, how do you find ethe defendant? he will be, like, he's bad, he's bad! ( laughter ) this is the craziest group of people. i feel bad for all these people who are being selected because it's supposed to be a jury of your peers. none of us are his peers. the only people who should be on this jury is walter white, scar face and jabba the hut. what kind o of maniac would actually want to be on this jury? it's weird to me there's one person out there who's, like, on the one hand, my whole family may be killed by the drug cartel, but, operate, $40 a day! i guess i'm in! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ music playing

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look! it's a hmm... whale. i don't know. that's it.

suit up! ♪ ha-ha! watch the fur! ♪ ahhh... what do you see in your cheetos?

>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a grammy award winning iconic producer, rapper, deejay and entrepreneur who is new album "poison" features the track "swizz montana." ♪ ♪ ♪ wait i see a whole lot of

frontin' ♪ >> trevor: please welcome swizz beatz! ( cheers and applause ) welcome to the show. >> thank you. thank you for having me. >> trevor: i have been such a huge fan of yours for such a long time and i'm not the only one. there are so many rappers who have unanimously said you are easily one of the greatest rap producers of all time. >> wow. >> trevor: but swizz beatz was someone we knew the music and all of a sudden seems like you disappeared and next thick thing i heard you were at harvard business school. >> yes. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: for people who lost you at that point, what happened and what sparked that change? >> when i started in the music at 17 and i felt like i reached every level where i needed to be, and i started hitting the ceiling, and then i wanted to diversify my portfolio and do different things out of music, and i understood that education is very important, so i had to go back and take the three years and forward so i could invest

another 20 years. i'm from the bronx. i need all the education i can get. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: that's a really powerful position to take because, you know, for a long time, like, i remember when i was in the hood, like, a lot of guys, we would laugh at each other, oh, you're going to school, trying to do this, but it really was a different step for you to take. >> big time. >> trevor: and it wasn't just the education you got, it was what it helped you do. because when you came back into music it's changed how you see the game, right? >> absolutely. when you think of artists, the music business, fashion business, art business, a lot of the creatives ignore the business part and wonder why at the end of the day they dealt with a bad hand because they didn't understand the business they was actually in. >> trevor: right. >> so i wanted to go back and make sure i actually understood the business i was in and encourage other creatives to start to learn the business you're in so you can end the game on a positive note instead of talking about you got taken advantage of when you didn't invest in your ownself.

>> trevor: you came back and you own what you create. a lot of artists didn't understand they were broke when they were retired but they were so rich and famous, but that was so important, owning what you create. >> you have to. in order to evolve, you have to have ownership, not borrowed time but real time, not borrowed money but real money, and you have to keep the legacy going for your kids as well, right, and if you don't have ownership, you can never be the billionaire that you want to dream of because all the billionaires i know own everything. >> trevor: right. if you're somebody aspiring to follow the path that, you know, there a are kids saying i want to be a producer, you have programs where you started encouraging young artists. you've really been engaged in not just music artists but art artists. you're literally walking around with a piece of art now. you're a big art collector. a lot of people don't know but you're really big into art. >> yes. >> trevor: i enjoy you changed how you curate and create.

you said i'm moving from impressing people to collecting art that means something to me. what did that mean and why. >> when i would collect art, i would collect to impress my friends and when executives would come to my home to separate my self-from my pierce. but that wasn't the reason to create art. the reason to create art is you felt something from your heart. i didn't want just to collect art to impress friends that come to my home, but that you felt something when you saw my art work, which meant giving artists 100% of the sales and fighting for artists and their rights and the retail sales of their work. it's a blessing. >> trevor: it is a blessing you're passing on. music to business, and business to the art, and now it's combined in this new piece of art, "poison." the new albubble long awaited. >> thank you. >> trevor: everybody is loving everything. ten of the finest tracks, you've

collaborated with everyone from kendrick lamar. we saw french montana. what are you trying to do in the name? >> i wanted to come back into the music scene with a body of work that actually wasn't compromisincompromising the crai could have came and went straight to the penthouse with a big crossover song. i wanted to start back to hi origins of where people know me and that's authentic hip-hop. i didn't want to put no big record that might be top 40 on the record on this particular album, i wanted to give people something that was quality and that the artist delivered at their maximum capacity. the name "poison" became because, in life, we have to face our poisons in order to poise on. >> trevor: that's deep. 33 minutes of the finest music ever. thanks for being on the show.

congratulations on everything, man. "poison" is available now. swizz beatz! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪

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♪ when you have nausea, ♪ heartburn, ♪ indigestion, ♪ upset stomach, ♪ diarrhea... girl, pepto ultra coating will treat your stomach right. ♪nausea, heartburn, ♪ indigestion, upset stomach, ♪ diarrhea... try pepto with ultra coating. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: well, that's our show for tonight, thank you so

much for tuning in. here it is now your moment of zen. >> nbc news says former new jersey governor chris christie is one of the people president trump is considering to replace fired attorney general jeff sessions. uh-huh. nice. oh, god. [giggles] what's wrong, michael? i got gum in my hair. you do. this...just...stinks. don't touch it. please, don't touch it! you got a ton of dandruff. okay, let me be. how'd you get gum in your hair? i was walking in, and i noticed something shiny under stanley's car. and i got under to see what it was, and i messed up my hair. all for a stupid piece of tinfoil. but, best-case scenario, you thought it was a quarter. kill me. right now. we have peanut butter in the kitchen. i don't feel like peanut butter. get me an ice cream sandwich. nope, not for you. it's for your hair.