[crowd awws] i want to hold you every morning and love you every night, kyle. i promise you nothing but love and happiness. ♪ i swear ♪ by the moon and the stars in the sky ♪ ♪ i'll be there, kyle ♪ ♪ i swear [crowd awws] ♪ like the shadow that's by your side ♪ ♪ kyle, i swear to god, i'll be there ♪ ♪ for better or worse - ♪ better or worse - ♪ till death do us part - ♪ death do us part - ♪ i'll love you with ♪ both: ♪ every gay beat of my heart ♪ - ♪ i swear, kyle - i swear, kyle. [cheers and applause] - where are you going? - that fat turd up there is the one who set up you and token 'cause he's thinks blacks belong together! - he did that? oh, no. [cheers and applause] - thank you. thank you all. that's all i wanted to say. that, and... the batmobile's outside. seriously, you guys gotta see it!

it's the batmobile! it's outside! - what? [overlapping chatter] - token! hey. - hi. - token, i'm so sorry. i thought you were only with me because i'm black. - i'm sorry too. i wouldn't even talk to you at first because you were black. both: do you think we could-- do you still want to-- - maybe we can give it another try? - there's still people who will look at us funny and think we're supposed to be together. - let them look. i don't care. - i don't care either. - i just think you're a great person. the color of your skin doesn't matter. - yay! - oh, my god. so cute. - tee hee hee! a place for everything and everything in its place. - that's right, cupid me. people who are the same belong together. - that's right, and i've found somebody

who's just the same as you. - really? - there she is! - haah! - what? [bleep] you, cupid me! - tee hee hee! [bleep] you! - hey, stop it! - haah! - no! - ahh-ha-ha-haah! >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," everybody! thank you so much for tuning in! welcome back from thanksgiving! i'm trevor noah. our guest tonight is a founder of the black eyed peas, william is here, everybody!

his new project is an amazing combination, it's an album, graphic novel, augmented recall reality, an experience, a concert tour, it's basically too much. first, let's catch up on today's head lfnlts big news in space travel today, n.a.s.a. celebrated the touchdown of its latest spacecraft on mars, which could be the next step in successfully colonizing space. look how happy the scientists are. clearly the first time anyof them scored a touchdown. look at them! ( laughter ) speaking of mars, elon musk is still planning on voyaging to the red planet and anybody who wants the join him might want to think again. >> spacex c.e.o. wants t put the first people on mars. he wants to be the first. while it seems like a luxury, living on mars could be hard work. >> a good chance of death,

working most the time on the base, not much time for pleasure. we think you can come back but we're not sure. >> trevor: that's your sales pitch? are you looking to not have fun and then suffocate to death? come to mars! ( laughter ) i will say it is refreshingly honest. we should get elon musk to do pharmaceutical ads. he would only tell us the side effects. it might kill you. it might clear up your skin but you might probably die. ( laughter ) it's so nice elon musk is so up front about the details. it could be funny if elon musk could have waited till they landed on mars, i forgot to mention! you are my space slaves! get to building my base! you realize the white people would be slaving away, singing their caucasian spirituals. ♪ speed caroline ♪ -- ♪ sweet caroline, oh oh oh

( laughter ) >> trevor: all parents dream about what their babies will look like. thanks to some chinese scientists, you might not have to leave it up to the chance. >> bombshell overnight from a chinese scientist who claimed to have created the world's first genetically edited babies, a procedure denounced in the scientist world as human experimentation. the researcher made unconfirmed claim he altered the dna of twin girls to give them a trait resistant to the h.i.v. virus, a procedure reportedly able to rewrite the blueprint of life during in vitro fertilization. >> trevor: this is insane, chinese scientists genetically modify babies to make them resistant to h.i.v. that's how badly some parents don't want to talk to children about safe sex. do you want to talk to them or should i? let's just change their dna. that seems dangerous. do you want to tell them about anal? okay, let's just change the dna. ( laughter ) they say it's about preventing disease, but you know editing

dna is to build superathletes. wait till 2080, the fasters runner will be chinese with all legs. that's cheating! no, to prevent h.i.v.! ( laughter ) the wildfires ravaging across california have finally been contained, specifically the camp fire has been contained. ( applause ) not by luck, thanks to the tireless work of so many courageous firefighters, we salute you and what you've done and, if you can, please donating because there are many californians who will need our help for some time to come. and i was reading about this story another and it's honestly fascinating because apparently the firefighters light containment fires pretty much controlled burns to help cut off where the fire can spread. so they're fighting fire with fire. which i was thinking probably pisses off the wildfire, right? because the wildfire sees the other fire working for the firefighters and the fire is probably, like, oh, you're one of those snitch fires, huh?

you don't do me like that? hey, man, i'm just trying to get a job. oh, shit, you why think when i'm out they're not going to turn those hoses on you, man? you forget where you came from you ashy mother (~bleep )! congratulations. let's move on to our top story. the border, america's got two. but we all know which one i'm talking about. it's become a perpetual flashpoint in american politics. do you shut it all down or let everyone in? these are the only two options, and this weekend it all came to a head. >> breaking news on the u.s.-mexico border. federal officials closing down california's largest border crossing between san diego and tijuana shortly after hundreds of migrants overwhelmed mexican police and rushed the border. >> mexico's interior ministry said around 500 migrants tried to violently enter the u.s. sunday. u.s. authorities claim some threw rocks and projectiles at

u.s. customs and border patrol. >> trevor: i think it's fair to say they were illegally trying to enter the united states. maybe they were just rushing in for the black friday deals. maybe the hondurans were like, i don't know what a roku is but at 80% off i would be a fool not to chase across the bored tore try to get it! ( laughter ) what i found interesting about the story is how much it changes depending on where you get your news. >> the u.s. border patrol fires tear gas to stop migrants including women and children on mexico's side of the divide. >> i don't know mean to be hyperbolic but clearly yesterday people were trying to invade your r our boredder. >> trevor: you were just hyperbolic about it! ( laughter ) do you see what this is? either innocent women and children strolling through a park in mexico and got surprised by tear gas, or innocent border patrol agents attacked by hoards of violent brown people singing the theme song when they came

across ( singing ) ( laughter ) both sides are viewing this as a validation they were right all along. one side is see, i told you america is the most immigrant hating nation of all time. the other side is, see, i told you they were coming to invade. let's be honest. not an invasion, it was frustrated asylum seekers across the border throwing stones, which isn't going to help their case, because trump will use this as proof all asylum seekers are criminals and dangerous. throwing stones won't help you get into america unless you can throw them 95 miles an hour because then the yankees will help you get in. h he comes in, he comes in. ( laughter ) by the way, one reason the immigrants are getting desperate is they can't just stay put because turns out that mexico doesn't want them either. >> mexican authorities say they have arrested 39 migrants and they plan to deport anyone who tried to enter the u.s. illegally. the mexican government also says

that since mid october when the caravan first started to arrive here, they have deported nearly 11,000 people, central americans, back to their home countries. >> we are here because our government has not taken control of these what we call invasions. >> trevor: that's right. you may not know this, but mexico also doesn't want people coming in from their southern border. like i bet if trump watched that on the news he would be so confused. he would be, like, you know what? maybe some of the mexican rapists are good people. it's crazy to realize that no matter what country you go to people can always be racist against someone from the south, all right? americans don't like mexicans and the mexicans don't like central americans and i bet central americans hate south americans, and south americans are, like, get out of here you penguins, you tuxedo wearing (~bleep )! ( laughter ) now there are some people who may have said i may not agree with how the immigrants tried to

come into the country but i still think shooting them with tear gas is a little extreme. well if you watched fox news you see one man's tear gas is another man's condiment to. clarify, the type of deterrent being used is oc pepper spray, it's literally water, pepper with a small amount of alcohol for evaporation purposes. it's natural. you could actually put it on your nachos and eat it. ( laughter ) >> trevor: yeah! you could put it on your nachos and eat it! guy makes it sound like people crossing the border is scam for immigrants to get free surprise. oh, man, this food is so bland, lest try crossing the border. a man banned from crossing the border into mexico michael kosta, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) i would love to know what you think, do you agree the american government using tear gas was a step too far? people were literally running away with tears in their eyes.

>> thanks, trevor. this whole tear gas thing, gas doesn't cause tears. being abandoned by your father because you're worthless causes tears. ( audience reacts ) trevor, these babies at the border need to stop crying because pepper spraying is basically just si ray cha in aerosol form. >> trevor: you would eat pepper spray? >> put it on a plate of nachos, i'm good. >> trevor: good. i've got nachos. >> oh, nachos. >> trevor: i've also got pepper spray. >> bring it on, bro. >> trevor: you said you can eat it, right? >> yeah. okay, okay, okay. i mean, you know, these -- these immigrants -- they shouldn't be put off by a little bit of hot, spicey pepper -- they're not going to make it in america anyway -- jesus christ -- because these borders --

( laughter ) -- is it shot in here? >> trevor: michael kosta, everybody! we'll be right back! get some water. ( applause ) ♪ ♪yeah i know it makes you nervous♪ ♪but i promise you it's worth it♪

♪don't hide ♪

hey, this one looks like a chmm...on. i don't see it. oh.. it's on. ♪ oh, now i see it. stylish. what do you see in your cheetos? the world famous marwen, mark's art installation. so that's the guy. right up there. some nazi thugs jumped him. it's a miracle he survived. [ screams ] i was a hell of a good artist. and now i can barely write my name. so, i created a world where i can heal. at your service, mademoiselle.

are all of the dolls people you know? yeah, everyone has a place here in marwen. ♪ i got dreams in my head ♪ and they won't go the only way you're gonna get better, is if you face those jerks who beat you up. it's important that you're there, to look your assailants straight in the eye. i'm not really sure how to do this. from the groundbreaking director of forrest gump... i got your back. bottoms up, girls. ♪ i got dreams in my head ♪ and they won't go ♪ spirits in my head ♪ and they won't go you gotta love the pain. pain is our rocket fuel. i have my art. and i have my friends. i have hope. and that's something they can't take away from me. hell, yeah.

( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show" if you were anywhere on the east coast during thanksgiving you would know it got so damn cold. i have to so cold your turkey refused to come out of the oven. it's time. the turkey is, like, ten mr. minutes! ( laughter ) some of you may be thinking whatever mapped to global warming. the u.s. government told us on friday. >> the u.s. government says manmade climate change is wreaking havoc on the u.s. 13 agents haves warn of more wildfires, longer highways waves in the southeast and more powerful atlantic hurricanes. says climate change could shrink the u.s. economy by hundreds of billions of dollars by the end of the century. >> trevor: i like how america

always thinks about everything in economic terms. when they talk about the end of the world, they say climate change is going to kill everybody and that's going to cost us, like, a billion dollars. ( laughter ) this is big news, 13 agencies, all say manmade climate change is not only real but the effects are already here. like many in the movies when somebody screams, close the door! we're going to die! and the friends are bleeding saying we are already dead. ( laughter ) >> trevor: surely after 13 agencies say this the trump administration will be on board. but this is what the president says. >> i've seen it, i've read some of it andeth fine. >> question. (inaudible). >> trump: i don't believe it.i. , no. >> trevor: you don't believe it?

how? how can one man possess all the stupidity of mankind? it's like they edited his genes to give him super human stupidity. scientists say, give him superhuman strength! no, that's dangerous to society, make him stupid, what could happen? ( laughter ) the president of the united states is throwing away four years of scientific work endorsed by his own administration. what possible reason would scientists have to lie about climate change. former senator rick santorum has a theory he shared this weekend on cnn. >> if there was no climate change we would have a lot of scientists looking for work. a lot of the scientists are driven by the money they receive. they don't receive money from corporations because it's tainted but they can receive it from people who support their agenda. >> trevor: of course, how did we miss it? climate change is just a scam! it's a scam by scientists trying to get rich!

we should have known when we saw them boiling in the gucci lab coats making it rain test tubes in the club. ow, ow, ow, ow! ( laughter ) after this report came out, american news was littered with climate change buffoons and one of my favorites is a woman nbc brought on to drop this gem. >> we need to recognize we just had two of the coldest years, p the biggest drop in global temperatures since we've had in the last hundred years. from the standpoint of those who have doubts about this, and i don't think we have any doubts there is climate change. i'm not a scientist, i look that as a citizen. >> trevor: once you say i'm not a scientist, why is anyone listening to your scientific opinion? i look at this as a citizen. get the (~bleep ) out of here with your opinions as a citizen. where else would we accept this? if someone said, trevor, these test results say you have cancer

but i'm not a doctors i think you're fine. trust me, i would not be like, oh, yeah, carry on, tell me your thoughts on my health. i can play clips from the news like this forever. but why? why can i play clips like this forever. why does the news keep bringing on non-scientists to argue against scientists? cnn pays rick san form to come on and talk that (~bleep ). this woman's group has gotten funding from oil companies. think of it this way, when maury povich brings someone on and the dna says you're the father, the scientist as spoken. he doesn't go, but in your opinion, lamar, why are you not the father? well, dude, first of all, it's expensive and second of all look at that babies' hair! that's not mine! ( laughter ) so maybe i should say you should

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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a grammy award-winning producer and member of the black eyed peas, whos new album "masters of the sun volume 1," features the track "new wave." please welcome will.i.am. features the track ""big love"." ♪ all that we are ♪ all that we're made of ♪ "big love" love ♪ all that we have ♪ all that we're made of ♪ is big, "big love" ♪ big, "big love" ♪ that's all that we are ♪ that's all that we are >> trevor: please welcome

will.i.am! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to the show. >> great to be here. >> trevor: what's amazing for me is when i see you, the way you dress, the technology, it seems you're going into the future, but with this album, feels like the black eyed peas are moving into the past. this album masters of the sun, it feels like we're going back to "where is the love." was this a conscious effort to go back to what made the black eyed peas? >> yeah, this is our 20 years of being, like, a professional group assigned to a label. >> trevor: right. >> and, so, we wanted to reflect on, like, you know, the stage we were at when we were just dreaming and finally got that record deal. so that's like organic sounds,

you know, and trying to make our 22-year-old proud. >> trevor: right. >> the 22-year-old version of ourselves, they need to know, like, lyrically, you can't mess with us. >> trevor: right. when you watch that video, i mean, you hear the lyrics and see what you're talking about. the imagery is clear. you're looking at the border patrol. you're looking at people who are immigrants trying to get into a country. you have lyrics about america and its love for guns and how people would prefer guns over children. these are messages that are not uncontroversial. these are ideas you have chosen to go with. why did you feel like that was important for some guys to do? >> "where is the love" we wrote in 2001 was about 9/11 and "where is the love" is the reason why we have careers today. >> trevor: right. >> is because we talked about a hard subject where we questioned where the love was. and so we wanted to address, like, today's, you know,

problems. how is it that we can, you know, support the right to have military weapons but put our kids in harm's way? like, why can't we fight for our kids to have a safe haven and have the best education in america and protect our future to where we are, you know, developing and mentoring them and sending them off so we could lead tomorrow. that's not the case. >> trevor: you've done a lot of work with a.i. a.i. is something that terrifies many people. they always say they're coming for your job because the robots get smart and take our jobs, right? you have a different idea of what a.i. is supposed to be. what is that? >> well, it's the fourth industrial revolution. for those who are just passively just walking through life, we are in a new catapult to a different stage of humanity in society. just like we were in 1918 where there were people that were, like, afraid that electricity would electrocute you. >> trevor: do you believe and

you want to get to a point where a.i. is genuine, like it doesn't feel like a robot assistant but like a friend on your phone telling you how to lose weight and make money. do you ever get frustrated living with the rest of us? ( laughter ) >> no, i just -- >> trevor: because i'm trying to figure out what i'm eating tonight and you're telling me i need my own a.i.. i'm impressed with the microwave now that it has the minute where it warms up and does the thing, and you're telling me about, like, the future. like, do you ever get frustrated about how we exist today as human beings? it feels like your min mind is e we are. >> i was raised in the projects, raised poor sitting in the free cheese line, and what got me out of that is thinking about a better tomorrow. and the better tomorrow, i designed by thinking outside my limitations and the statistics

they thought i was going to become. so how did i do that? ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: always in the future! the album is in the present! "masters of the sun volume 1" is available now! will.i.am, everybody! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ daddy!! did you get my surprise? ♪ it's the little things that make life rich. ritz.

♪ ♪ mountain dew ice. a clear, refreshing, lemon-lime dew®. cle...is a hassle.th a mop and bucket... swiffer wetjet makes cleaning easy. it's safe to use on all finished surfaces, ...trapping dirt and liquid inside the pad. plus, it prevents streaks better than a micro fiber strip mop. for a convenient clean, try swiffer wetjet. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: that's our show for tonight. thanks so much for tiewping in. we'll be back tomorrow. now here it