about you earlier. we can publish the book you wrote. you're obviously a better writer than i am, and i don't actually even really care what the world thinks about me anymore. i just hated reading that book because i hated feeling like that's how you saw me. because i guess you know me better than anybody, and... if you think that, um... i guess my question is, do you... -do you think it's too late for me? -what? (stammers) i mean, am i just doomed to be the person that i am? the person in that book? it's not too late for me, is it? it's not too late... diane, i need you to tell me that it's not too late. -bojack, i-- -i need you to tell me that i'm a good person. i know that i can be selfish and narcissistic and self-destructive, but underneath all that, deep down, i'm a good person, and i need you to tell me that i'm good, diane. tell me, please, diane. tell me that i'm good.

(lonely bird calling) (harper giggling distantly) hey, aren't you the horse from horsin' around? >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) >> welcome to "the daily show." i'm dulce sloan. he's trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) from moschino, fashion designer jeremy scott is here. ( cheers and applause )

now, if you're wondering what's going on, as we explained on yesterday's show, trevor hosted the global citizens festival in south africa over the weekend, and he completely lost his voice. as if people weren't scared enough to visit africa, trevor goes for the weekend and a witch steals his voice. and this isn't a joke. trevor really can't talk. so, he's just going to sit here and watch me, like a security guard at jc penny is making sure i don't steal shit. ( laughter ) >> but he does have an app on his phone so he can speak. go on, trevor, say something. >> trevor: in 100 feet, turn right. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> thank you, trevor. anyway, we're still going to do the show like we normally do. so let's catch up on the day's headlines! ( cheers and applause ) it's the holiday season, which

means it's time to open up another box on robert mueller's advent calendar. >> there is breaking news. the michael flynn sentencing recommendations came out last night. >> in a heavily, heavily redacted memo ahead of his sentencing, mueller has revealed that flynn provided substantial assistance in at least three ongoing investigation. >> prosecutor says former national security adviser michael flynn has been instrumental to the special counsel's investigation, participating in 19 interviews and providing documents and communications concerning links between the russian government and the trump campaign. >> mueller has talked to flynn 19 times? if you talk to me 19 times, that means we're dating. ( laughter ) and if we get to 20, you better propose. ( laughter ) i'm just saying, michael flynn should at least have a toothbrush at mueller's place. ( laughter ) and i was so excited to read this memo. but look how they blacked out almost all the words. that thing is more blacked out

than brett kavanaugh on a school night. ( laughter ) >> trevor: this document is so black, some white lady is going to call the cops on it. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> good one, siri. ( laughter ) in other news, the academy awards announced kevin hart will host the 2019 oscars! ( cheers and applause ) i'm excited for him. he's making oscar history. the first black man to host the oscars who is the same size as the trophy. ( laughter ) the actor is going to be like, "i want to thank the academy," and kevin hart will be like, "put me down! put me down!" "oops, my bad." >> trevor: at least we know the ceremony will be short. ( laughter ) >> this is so weird. >> trevor: trust me. it's strange for me, too.

>> moving on. today was the funeral of former president george h.w. bush. it was a time of reflection, remembrance, and uncomfortable seating arrangements. >> we see the current president of the united states and the former president of the united states, all sitting in the same president of the united states. >> the obamas greeted the trumps. the clintons looked directly straight ahead. >> you can't help but think about the tensions in that room. ( laughter ) >> good lord. i need a drink just looking at that photo. ( laughter ) ooooo! look at how much that woman doesn't want to be sitting near trump. i mean, i'm not talking about hillary. i'm talking about melania. ( laughter ) that funeral was so awkward, and that was before trump started roasting everybody. ♪ ♪ >> crooked hillary. crooked hillary, ladies and gentlemen. she's as crooked as they come.

as crooked as they come. president obama, he is the founder of isis. he's the founder of isis, okay. he's the founder. michelle obama, i guess she wrote a book. she got paid a lot of money to write a book. if you look at bill clinton what he's done to women, there's never been anybody in the history of politics in this nation that's been so abusive to women. jimmy carter, he was another beauty. we have very stupid people running the united states. >> all right, let's move on to our main story. ha-ha-ha! i'm dizzy! yesterday, seattle was awarded an n.h.l. hockey team. that's the whitest sentence i've ever said. ( laughter ) >> trevor: what about this sentence: o.m.g., i've just spilled a pumpkin spice latte in my prius." ( applause )

>> not bad. not bad. anyway, there's a lot of other sports news, so let's go to roy wood jr. and michael kosta for another edition of "i apologize for talking while you were talking." ( cheers and applause ) >> what's up, everyone? i'm roy wood jr. and it's time to catch up on the world of sports. >> let's start with football and a major off-field fumble by one of the greats. >> one of the n.f.l.'s most recognizable stars, hall of fame quarterback brett favre, says he was duped into making this video. >> brett favre here with a shout-out. >> a short recorded message coded with anti-semitic statements. favre says he was told what he was reading was paid for by veterans. it was instead tied to a hate group operating on the dark web. >> that video was made with the website called cameo. it's a new platform which allows people to hire celebrities to record personalized shout-outs.

favre announcing that he and cameo would donate that $500 he received to charity. >> this makes no sense. why would anti-semites spend $500 on favre, when they can get mel gibson to record a video for free? >> that's true. this cameo business is crazy. these celebs that make these videos, to me, they just seem desperate and sad and small-minded -- >> actually, that reminds me. >> no, no, roy. >> hey, what's up. it's roy wood jr., i want to tell my man phil, happy prostate exam, man. hope you have a good prostate exam, bro. >> tell me you got paid a lot for that. > 20 bucks. >> 20 bucks? >> anyway let's move on from pfootball to the beautiful game. >> the sport the whole world plays. >> now to the international outrage after a female soccer superstar was asked a question many say was shockingly sexist. >> a historic night for norwegian ada hegerberg, winning the award for the best women's

soccer player in the world. >> regrettably, hegerberg's moment in the spotlight was seemingly spoiled by the french d.j. martin solveig who was on stage with her and asked her if she knew how to perform a certain provocative dance to celebrate. >> a question no man would get. >> "do you twerk?" >> okay, i don't want to, what i said-- >> fellas, fellas, pro tip: "do you twerk?" is never an appropriate question anywhere. >> right. >> even if you're hosting a show honoring the best strippers in atlanta. >> right. >> i mean, honestly, i'm surprised she didn't just slap him. >> well, she's a soccer player, roy. she can't use her hands. ( laughter ) but it is true. i mean, nobody would ever ask lionel messi to twerk, even though everyone in the whole world wants to see it. i mean, whoa! ( sighs ) it's like he's looking at me right now, isn't it? ( laughter ) is twerking even still a thing, roy? >> are you asking me because i'm

black? >> yeah. ( laughter ) >> let's wrap things up like we always do, with our play of the week. >> roy, we've literally never had a play of the week. >> roll the tape. >> we don't usually show a whole lot of soccer highlights even though joe is a big soccer fan, but we came across one play you just have to see. here you can see the goalie getting ready to punt the ball downfield but kicks it back at an opposing player. right when the ball is set to bounce into his own goal, that furry blur say dog. how the dog got on the field, nobody knows. but she deserves a treat, depending on who you're rooting for. >> i mean, where did she come from? what's that, lassie? somebody is about to score a goal? go stop it! should that goal have counted? i say, who cares? the important question is, can that dog twerk. >> still not okay. that's all for now. i'm roy wood jr. >> this is michael kosta. this is how we talk now. >> that's not how we talk.

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( cheers and applause ). >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." asun, last weekend, trevor-- oh, this is trevor. he went to south africa to host an event with global citizens. now, i gotta tell you, one great thing about his voice being gone is i don't have to hear about how he hung out with people like usher, jay z, ed sheeran, naomi campbell. am i forgetting anyone? no? >> ( laughter ) but the event was to raise awareness of crucial world problems-- disease, clean water, and affordable energy. well, according to one man, the answer to all of those problems has been inside of us the whole time. ronny chieng filed this report. >> bill gates, he's rich, he's brilliant, and apparently, he's out of his mind. >> this is a container of human feces. >> why is one of the richest men in the world carrying a jar of his own shit?

i went to seattle to find out what's wrong with bill gates. mr. gates, it's a huge honor to meet you. just a quick question-- what the (bleep) is wrong with you? ( laughter ) i mean, are you okay? >> yeah, i'm great. love what i'm doing. >> okay, so why are you carrying around your own poop in a jar? >> i did have a beaker of human feces when i was explaining why we need a reinvented toilet. >> you don't need to reinvent a toilet. we shit in it, then we push a button, then the shit disappears. it's perfect. >> toilets are something we take for grants but billions of people don't have them. even in the growing cities in poor countries, they can't afford to build sewers, and that causes diseases. and so we have to come up with a very different way of taking care of that waste. >> and because so much of the world lacks a sanitary place to poop, bill launched the reinvent the toilet challenge. it funds scientists to redesign

toilets that don't need a sewer system. >> we put several hundred million into this to show that it can be done. >> hang on. you put several hundred million dollars into toilets. >> giving it away, you bet. >> oh, my god. is bill gates literally flushing his fortune down the toilet? to find out, i flew all the way to the university of south florida, where professor daniel yeh and his team are using gates' funding to make some sort of magic poop box. >> so what we have here, essentially, is a miniature version of the waste treatment plant and we can put this anywhere. in the bioreactor, we have micro-organisms eats the poop and turn it into clean water. >> okay, why do the microbes eat the poop? >> the microbes eat the poop because that's what they do. >> did you ask them if they want to do that? >> well-- >> why don't you get them a muffin or something. maybe they'd like a muffin. >> okay, i'll make a note of that, but when you show them the poop, they love it. >> despite his crazy talk, there is just something about this guy.

i don't know what it is, but i trust him. so i decided to give his machine a try. >> so normally we would have a block of toilets, right, and then the waste from the toilets would come here, go into the machine, and then using solar power, we can turn the poopy water into clean water. >> so, you stand by this? >> yeah. >> prove it. >> okay. >> did it work? >> yeah. >> well, how many times did it not work and you ended up drinking your own shit? ( laughter ) >> well, it's worked so well, that we're actually working with nasa. astronauts have to poop, and we can turn that poop into clean water and nutrients, and even energy. >> wait, did you say energy? >> yeah. the microbes in the bioreactor making that thing, that's the same stuff that's in natural gas, and you can burn it. >> bill gates, you sneaky bastard. you just found a filthy little back door into the most

profitable industry in the world-- energy. you didn't say anything about energy! >> yeah, one way to make it cheap to process the sewage is to sell these outputs. >> you should open with that next time. don't open with the "saving the world, kids, and disease" thing. open with, "yo, we're making toilets that can convert shit into energy." we need to make these toilets as expensive as possible, because based on my research, everyone poops. ( laughter ) i mean, everybody. >> well, unless we make them super cheap, they're not going to get out to the poorest who need them the most. >> look, i know you've made your money. some of us here are still trying to win this game. >> well, if you have an idea, let us know. >> i've got nothing but ideas for this. >> okay. >> so this is an ipad. great device. i love using it. >> hey, hey, yeah. >> so what's the worst seat on the plane? next to the toilet. but what if every seat was a toilet? poop power cleans. to keep the plane in motion, we

have to keep shitting. high pressure, i know, but it gives the airlines incentives to feed us. >> i am not sure the numbers work. >> how about this-- it's a toilet that you shit in, and it powers a cannon that shoots the shit out to my neighbor's house. ( laughter ) why are you laughing? >> that's not legal. >> listen, man, i'm up here just trying to come up with ideas here to save the world, okay. what are you doing? >> that's what i'm doing. >> no, that's what i'm doing. i'm here giving you ideas and all you're doing it shitting on them. >> well, i don't think those ideas are ready yet. but we do have a lot of ideas that are in the field being tested in durbin, trying to cover the 30% of their residents that don't have great sewage processing. we are going to completely change the future. everybody's going to have a great toilet. >> well, here's to everyone having a great toilet. cheers. aaaah! >> not bad.

>> now, guess where that came from? ( laughter ) you just drank my shit. ( laughter ) how's it taste? >> that's a very successful process there. it tasted like normal water. good job. >> thank you, bill. there's more where that came from. >> ronny chieng, everyone. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) i see it all the time.

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♪ he's gonna do it! ♪ you gotta see this! ♪ owen's gonna do it! ♪ i got him. ♪ come on, come on, come on! alright! come on, come on! come on! yeah! ♪ so how about another game? ( cheers and applause ) >> welcome back. welcome back. our guest tonight is a fashion designer and the creative director of moschino, as well as his eponymous line. he can be seen in the documentary "jeremy scott: the people's designer." >> i don't want to be seen as a facsimile of someone else. >> this is, you know, a huge show for jeremy, a huge show for moschino.

and it just has to go perfectly. >> no one really knew what i was going to do, and this is the first show, and the first outing, so, you know, it was really going to set the tone. >> she's talking about one thi thing, you're talking about two things. >> please welcome jeremy scott. ( cheers and applause ) >> jeremy, thank you so much for being here. thank you. and, also, thank you for this jacket. >> you look good. >> i love this. this is the first article of clothing i put on and been, like, "oh, i was meant to wear this." >> nice! >> i really like this. trevor can't talk. >> trevor: it is great to see you again. >> it's great to see you as well. >> he can't speak, but i know he would want to ask what would you recommend for someone with, like, a thicker booty? you know, someone-- someone-- someone who is sitting on my two basketballs? ( laughter )

what would you recommend for them? >> there are pants that match that jacket that would look great on you. ( laughter ) >> consider it. so we're living in an age right now, right? you're known for a lot of political work. we're living in an age wherea lot of people are wearing their politics on their shirt, right? what do you think about this? do you think this is, like, a self-expression thing, a change thing, or do you think someone has really seen a "black lives matter," t-shirt and been like, "maybe black lives do matter." ( laughter ) >> i mean, all kidding aside, i think, you know, people are expressing themselves in fashion all the time. we're always speaking with our choices for fashion. >> trevor: how do you think fashion can change the way the world thinks? >> i think by keeping a conversation going, with dialogue, and that's what i tried to do by wearing a t-shirt like this. it's not something i sell. it's not something i profit from. it's something i'm wearing because i want to get the message out. obviously, there are a ton of people that are already maybe aware, but maybe i inspire

someone who is less aware. >> right and you're really great-- yeah, give it up. you're really great with tackling multi issues, too, like, the l.g.b.t.q. rights issues, gun control, voting, too. what do you think about the issue of fashion police brutality? ( laughter ) >> what, exactly, is that? >> roy: well, like, i was wearing a rope belt in soho the other day, and i swear to god, people would not make eye contact. >> oh, jaboukie. >> i need a little help. what should i do with that? >> i think that's ridiculous. you have such a cute face, no one should be looking at your belt. ( laughter ) and you're cute, too, trevor. >> trevor: should i leave? ( laughter ) >> one thing that we've even covered here, dolce & gabbana just face aid boycott in the entire country of china, right. basically for offending their culture. do you think ignorance will ever come back in style? because bell bottoms have come

back in style and that's just about as offensive. >> i don't think it will. i think it's an amazing time. growing up i never thought about statues that were for the civil war. i just thought they were there all the time. and then to find out they were erected in the 60s, and to find out this was a repressive move, and that they're coming down today. there's so much that can change, and i think that's a perfect example. it's like, no, you can't be an asshole to people and a whole culture and be a blatantly rude person and think that you can get away with it. it's-- it's-- it's not cool. it's not fashionable. ( applause ) >> time's up. the documentary "jeremy scott: the people's designer" is currently streaming on netflix. everyone, jeremy scott. ( cheers and applause ) (robot) inferior phone detected!

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>> okay, everybody, that's it for tonight's show. now here it is, your moment of zen. >> the "terminator" has predicted everything that's happening in life. >> killer robots. i guess they finally saw "terminator." it could be a whole "terminator" theme. it's like playing poker against the "terminator." have you seen the "terminator"? this is the beginning, america. >> he makes the pajama boy look like the "terminator." >> you expected the

"terminator," but you got "kindergarten cop." >> i'll be back. ( cheers and applause ) captioning made possible by comedy central - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - ♪ [muffled] - ♪ come on down to south park ♪ ♪ and meet some friends of mine ♪ ♪ahahahahaha. hahaha. discover the rainbow! taste the rainbow!