tv The Daily Show Comedy Central January 8, 2019 11:00pm-11:31pm PST
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>> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: thank you! thank you! welcome to "the daily show," i'm trevor noah! ithank you for tuning in. our guest tonight, marc mauer is here. marc mauer is going to be joining us. he is the executive director of the sentencing project and co-author of a facscinating new book about abolishing life sentences. so we're going to be chatting to
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him about that. but before that, let's catch up on today's headlines. allergies, they affect the lives of many bitch-ass americans. but according to a new study, the most common affliction is hypochondria. >> surprising results from a new scientific survey of more than 40,000 americans. a study finds while one in five people said they had a food allergy, only about 10% of americans actually have symptoms that suggest a real allergy. thedata suggest while 50 million americans think they have food allergies, only about 26 million actually do. >> trevor: i knew it! half of americans who think they have allergies aren't allergic to anything. yeah, the only thing you gluten free mother (~bleep ) are allergic to is a good time! that's all it is! i'm allergic to giewten! i'm allergic to gluten! ( applause ) ( laughter ) i'm not blaming americans. i'm blaming the doctors who diagnose them.
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i was told i'm allergic to piece. it's not true. i eat them every day. i'm fine. but seriously, food allergies in africa aren't a thing. it's because rashes are impossible to detect when you already have ebola. ( laughter ) more health news. >> a new federal rule requires every hospital across the nation to post standard charges online for every item and every service they provide. in the past some hospitals have posted on small lists or asked patients to contact their healthcare provider for pricing. but you can see here, look at this long list. now a requirement for every hospital, and they'll have to update the list at least once a year. >> trevor: yes, yes, yes, finally, american hospitals now have to tell you their prices in advance, which is a huge improvement. hospitals are the only places that can surprise you with prices. you go in, get the surgery, then three weeks later, you get an i norms bill. imagine if you order chipotle
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and the next month you get a bill for $80,000. you would be, like, what? if i had known that, i wouldn't have gotten extra guacamole! what the hell? i hope this is getting america's healthcare care under control. i had an appendix surgery after i got here. i said for that price you should have let me die. i could have sent myself to medical school, took out my own appendix, charged myself $80,000 and i would be rich! ( applause ) this is a step forward. moving on, this week is the consumer electronics show in las vegas, ces, where tech companies showcase the latest in futuristic nightmares. this year hasn't disappointed. >> while the consumer electronic show is set to take las vegas by storm this morning. one computerized companion won't be there. a self-driving tesla model s mows down a robot in the street.
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this robot's damage will prevent him from appearing in this year's show. >> trevor: wow, a self-driving car mode down a robot pian. as humans, we're so narcissistic. we assume when the robot apocalypse comes, we assume they will come after us. we never realized they probably hate each other as much as we do. the car probably saw the robot and said, hey, wally, kill yourself! your momma was a roomba! ha ha. or does it look like the robot was trying to get hit by the car? he's probably got an insurance scam going. ow, ow, got me! going to show up to the court with a neck brace. i have been unable to work and support my wife r wife and three toasters! ( laughter ) moving on to our top story. ( cheers and applause ) as you probably know by now,
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president trump gave a nationally televised prime time speech tonight about the government shutdown. but we are taping this show before trump's speech airs. so as i'm speaking right now, i don't know anything about the speech. you see, i am from the past. and from the past, i'm going to make a prediction about trump's speech. i predict he's going to say america needs the wall because there are guatemalan, drug-teaing mexican terrorists trying to sneak into america to dance on rooftops with alexandria ocasio-cortez. not good. ( laughter ) i also predict the color of spray tan the president chooses to wear. you see, because it's winter -- ( laughter ) -- because it's winter -- these are not penises, this is is a nose. ( laughter ) everyone is like, is that a pennies? i'm tired of looking at pennies. see, because he it's winter, he doesn't want to go too dark, but because it's a formal event, he
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needs color. i don't think he'll go with this pale. so i'll go with old traffic cone. so if you're watching the show, check out twitter for the results. anyway, we'll dig into the president's speech and the democrats' response tomorrow unless something funny happens. but now with the shutdown stuck in a stalemate the phrase everyone is talking about is national emergency. >> the president has warned he might declare a national emergency, going around congress to get his border wall built. >> president trump is prepared to do what's necessary. >> we have a national crisis. >> we can call a national emergency because to have the security of our country, absolutely. no, we can do it. i haven't done it. i may do it. i may do it. ( laughter ) >> trevor: isn't it comforting to have a president who always sounds like a guy on a ledge? i'll do it, man. don't come any closer. i'll do it. i'll do it. all i wanted was a wall. nobody listened, man. i'll do it. ( laughter ) but that's right, trump claimed that as president he can claim
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illegal immigration as a national emergency and he doesn't need congressional approval to build the wall, he can do it himself. bell, not himself, he's never done manual labor in his life. it would be a disaster. what's this, again? that's a brick, mr. president. do i eat it? mr. president, didn't you work in construction all your life? i only talk to the guys in the hats and they make the buildings go high high. ( laughter ) he never does anything for himself. he probably never jacks himself off. he calls the butler. shall we begin with the lotion? no, jeez, let's go dry. shall i fantasize with you? yes, jeez, two girls kissing. very hot, sir, very hot. ( laughter ) it's not like the president hasn't declared national emergencies. for instance, president carter declared a national emergency during the iranian hostage
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crisis to put sanctionons iran. president obama declared an emergency during swine flu to get a vaccine. and president bush declared a national emergency when "friends" went off the air. presidents declare national emergencies all the time. what they don't do is declare an emergency just to win a policy fight with congress. to the question we need to answer is, is trump even allowed to do this? >> can president trump declare a national emergency to build the border wall with mexico? in a word, yes. what is actually considered a national emergency? that's where the legal language gets stickier. in 1934, the u.s. supreme court said basically the situation should be urgent and infrequent, really big -- like on the scale of a natural disaster -- and not reasonably expected or anticipated. >> trevor: yeah, so for
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something to be considered a national emergency, the supreme court ruled a situation must be urgent, infrequent, and unexpected. basically, america should have a urinary tract infection. ( laughter ) and if you think about it, none of these thinks apply to illegal immigration, which has been more of a steady, constant drip. okay, still needs to be checked out, but it's not an emergency. ( laughter ) the problem is the supreme court doesn't get to weigh in immediately, right. trump can declare a national emergency, and the moment he does, there are all sorts of things that he can do. >> many of these powers are really quite gnaw row, reasonable, but some of them seem like the stuff of authoritarian regime, so there are powers that would allow the president to shut down communications facilities and to freeze americans' bank accounts or to deploy the military domestically. >> trevor: okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. it's one thing to freeze out bank accounts or send troops to our houses, but shutting down communications? that means trump could turn off
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the internet, like instagram? how am i supposed to get sponsorships now? you think i'm going to walk down the street yelling at people about my juice cleanse? hey, you want to poop like me? drink this! i would sound like a crazy person. come on, trump. ( applause ) this is serious power, people! listen to it, it sounds really undemocratic. when you think about america, you don't think about an autocratic ruler. you think of pickups and restaurants named after boobs. freedom, baby. but if congress was going to give a president these powers, you would think they would be very specific about how the president could use them. if you thought that, you would be wrong. >> congress chose consciously not to include a definition of national emergency. the idea behind emergency powers is pretty simple. it's the idea that the laws that ordinarily apply might not be sufficient in the case of emergency, and if you have a
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true crisis that's unfolding so quickly that congress doesn't have time to react to it, then you might need to have some standby authorities that give the president more flexibility. >> trevor: ah, that actually makes sense. congress can't say what every emergency situation might be in the future, so they leave it vague because what countss an emergency is different for different people. right? for some people, an emergency is black people barbecuing, right? for other people, waiting for those three dots in a text message is an emergency. are you up or not?! ( laughter ) so congress left it open to interpretation because they assumed the president would be somebody responsible and trustworthy and potty trained. ( laughter ) they didn't think there would be a president trump, which is why they left such a big loophole, which goes back to what we have been saying about trump for a very long time -- he's basically the black light on american democracy, right? you realize there were all these flaws in america that nobody ever noticed before he showed
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up, and then all of a sudden it was, like, oh, bam! oh, wow! what is that? oh, the president -- the president doesn't have to show his tax returns. oh, and the president doesn't have to divest from his businesses. and, holy shit, he might be able to pardon himself. that's crazy! and what is that down there? that's just a mustard stain from when thomas jefferson signed -- he signed the most important document with his lunch. that's weird. that's not trump's fault. so thanks to trump, we've learned that, during a national emergency, a president can do way more than build a wall -- shut down the internet, send the troops in, he can control the country. so if i were the democrats, i would give trump the wall before he finds out what he can really do. i know it sounds crazy, but now he's like the baby from the incredibles. he only knows that he can float. we do not want him finding out if he can shoot lasers out of his eyes. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause )
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want to try out my time machine? it runs on doritos. [dog barks] sure. so now what? gotta put the whole bag in. okay. yes! it's really working, jimmy! [humming, thumping] [humming] [thumping] this is the greatest moment of my life! get out of my yard! [birds chirping] jimmy? you're so old. [crunch!] it's the future!
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>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." last month -- last month our very own michael kosta brought us a surprising report on how the world's most neutral country is also among its most heavily armed and, tonight, he continues his exposé with the second report from the biggest shooting festival on earth. >> no, this isn't a green screen, this is real, disgusting switzerland, a new central country full of non-combative chocolate-eating yodlers. and they're also full of -- guns. ( bang ) in my previous report i trained with firearms expert mikko.
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mikko, look, i shot holes in the swiss cheese. you get it? i put the -- ( laughter ) i learned when it comes to gun culture, switzerland has a few more regulations than america. and thanks to these gun regulations and strict ammunition controls, switzerland has a murder rate of nearly zero. sure, that's a great statistic, but how safe can it really be? to learn more about their gun culture, i attended the world's largest annual shooting festival right here in -- holy (~bleep ), that's a lot of guns. even that baby has a gun. there's not enough training in the world to prepare me for this, so i brought my two secret weapons, my translator pierre and my super manly rock-hard american vest. >> why are you wearing a pussy vest? >> what did he say here? >> pussy vest. >> oh, that's funny, pussy vest. why aren't you wearing a pussy vest?
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people are walking around with guns ( gunfire ) >> because it's safe. >> what is that? they're shooting. >> they're shooting over there, not here. >> how many accidents have happened here? >> nein. >> nine? >> no, no, no. zero. >> trevor: i thought you said nine. >> nein. it's a german language. >> in united states, america, this is dangerous. but in switzerland, we have tradition. we have rules, and this -- we have rules! >> what kind of rules let little kids participate in this glock toberfest? you love shooting. >> yes. >> so it's like yoga. >> yes. >> they also throw booze into the mix. >> it's a national party. >> here comes the beer. let's let the beer walk through. rifles and beers. >> we have the people and the
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friends and la, la, la, la, the beer. we make the -- (makes sound), it is finished. >> guns and beers. this is an american wet dream. but something is different in this country. >> we respect guns, and if you respect it, it's not a problem. >> why should i listen to this drunk swiss roll? >> i was president for five years -- >> you're telling me i'm having beer with the former president of switzerland? >> yes. >> cheers. nowhere else could a former president be surrounded be thousands of firearms with no security. how could we get america to feel this safe? >> that's your problem. >> that's my problem. ( applause ) well, that's as neutral as it gets. but it is our problem. they can shoot gun, drink beer and no one gets hurt. in america, something like this could never happen. i decided to embrace this culture and hang with the only
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group that would let me in. wow, you guys have ar-15s here. meet the shooting society. it was time to show these swiss fondues how americans shoot guns. i missed? >> you missed, yeah. >> how did i miss? ( speaking in foreign language ) >> what do you know? you're ten years old. you probably never even kissed a girl. ever take your gun to school? >> no. >> no? >> we're not american. >> you're not american. >> no. >> okay, i can say that but he can't. (~bleep ) twist kids, huh? for swiss kids, life with guns is very different. >> nothing happens. it's not like in the u.s. where you have those mass shootings. >> your son, when he goes to school, he just has to worry about school. >> yeah, catching the bus on time. >> unlike america, switzerland found a way to peacefully co-exist with firearms.
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( gunfire ) and one of the main reasons is while these gun owners may be loaded, it's actually illegal for their guns to be loaded when not in use. >> we've got beer, we've got guns, we've got boos. i feel like i'm growing another testicle down here. so, america, if we're going to insist on being a nation of gun nuts, we can at least try to swiss things up. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: michael kosta, everyone. we'll be right back. announcer: 7:35 remaining... tatum, with the drive... ( ♪ ) ...and slams it down! ( ♪ )
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director of the sentencing project, one of the united states leading criminal justice reform organizations and co-art of the new book "the meaning of life: the case for abolishing life sentences." please welcome marc mauer. ( cheers and applause ) welcome to the show. >> great to be here. >> trevor: you are interested by many to be the leading expert on sentencing policy and the criminal justice system in america. this book, "the meaning of life," tackles the question of abolishing life sentences. two questions, why? >> as we have a movement to end mass incarceration now, which is very encouraging, in far too many cases i believe people believe if we just had more drug treatment programs, that would take care of the problem. the problem is much deeper than that. in terms of sentencing, one in
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seven people in american prisons is serving a life sentence, 20 206,000 people. we can't end mass incarceration unless we do something about excessive sentences. life sentences are counterproductive for public safety. one thing we know about crime is people age out of crime. mid teen years, late teen years, early 20s, that's a high-risk time. crime rates go up in that age group, but they rapidly come down. so, by the late 20s, 30s, 40s, certainly 50s and 60s, the risk of involvement for criminal activity is much diminished. so if we have people in their 50s, 60s and 70s, we're not preventing very much crime while they're in prison but we're spending enormous resources to do so. ( applause ) >> trevor: but now, some people -- ( cheers and applause ) i agree with you on this book, but there's obviously people who
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disagree and say to you, but shouldn't somebody spend life in jail if they have taken somebody else's life, for instance? what would your argument be to account for that. >> people have to account for their lives, whether taking chocolate or anything in between that. the scale is very different in the united states. we are far more punitive than comparable nations. if you look in western europe, it's very unusual for anybody to spend more than 20 years in prison, either by law or in practice, and they say, for the most serious crimes, you will get 20 years. for the less serious crimes, it may be ten or 15, and so on. >> trevor: right. >> but we have a very different scale with the death penalty at the top of the scale. life without parole at the top of the scale, so it exerts pressure on crimes across the board. that's part of the reason we have mass incarceration. if you steal a car in the united states, you're going to spend more time in prison than if you did that in england or italy or many other countries.
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>> trevor: right, but when you're trying to convince people of this idea, a lot of the time, it seems like the arguments are framed in a way that benefits someone who's committed a crime, you know. someone will say, i understand this, marc, but why should we reward somebody for committing a crime? shouldn't they be punished as much as possible? how would you frame a benefit to a citizen who has not committed a crime? why would it benefit them to not have people spend as much time in prison? >> well, if we care about public safety, we have finite resources, we have a certain budget at the federal, state, local level, how do we want to spend that budget? normally it costs about $30,000 a year to keep someone in prison. when people are aging, it can be 60,000 more than that. so we have to think, do we want to spend money on aging people in prison? sometimes they're in wheelchairs and inca pass stated, when we have a group of 14 through 16-year-olds coming up every year, if we can do something to
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prevent them from getting into high-risk activities, we would have a much better impact on crime. so we have to think about the balance. the balance we've developed in the last 40 years is all about incarceration, forgetting about prevention and treatment. >> trevor: we recently saw a story that has garnered a lot of attention, the case of sintoya brown, granted clemency by the governor governor who is outgoing. this is a story of a young girl who was picked up by a man,, as basically a sex slave, and she fought for her life and says in her defense she killed the man and this became the big story, people said she had to spend the rest of her life in prison as a child. after she was granted clemency, the question began is this something america needs to do for everybody? do you think america is moving in the right direction? >> slowly but surely we're moving in the right direction. we saw congress passing legislation when it first got back a few weeks ago that won't
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end mass incarceration but reduces mandatory sentencing for drug crimes. it will have modest affect on reducing the number of people in prison overall. so it's a beginning. it's a first step. we need a second, third and fourth step if we really want to have an impact. but after four decades of rising prison populations, we're beginning to see some reduction, a litter more rational development policy now. >> and what do you think the u.s. does for those people who are let out and then repeat a crime? >> well, we have to look at what we're doing to help people refrain from getting involved in crime. the movement for reentry of people coming home from prison, liberals and conservatives have embraced the idea that people coming out of prison should have the skills and resources and support they need so they don't have to go back into prison, but the resources are just a fraction of what's needed. you have to remember, when people go to prison at the age of 30, far too many cases, it's
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been a very dysfunctional lifestyle they've had, family, community problems and the like. that doesn't changeover night, so we have to be much more serious about reducing time people spend in prison and focusing on that reentry back into the community. >> trevor: your book is amazing. thank you so much for being on the show. >> thank you so much for having me. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: "the meaning of life" a fantastic read. available now. marc mauer, everybody. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) [ sirens ] what have you done... elijah? these stories are true. finally the real world, will see, we exist. villains... the beast is coming for you guys. heroes... i have to stop them. a lot of people are going to die. you need to get out of here. this part won't be like a comic book.
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