holy crap ! damnit, kyle. we've been working all week against that behavior. sorry dude, we weren't here. thank you mayor, i don't know what to say. this has been quite a week. she's really touched. what i really want to say is, well, this may sound odd coming from a woman with a fetus sticking out of her head, but, you're all a bunch of freaks ! uh, freaks with big hearts ! and now-- don't you realize that the last thing i wanted was to be singled out ? i wanted to do my job and live my life like any normal person, but instead you've made everybody focus on my handicap all week long ! look, i don't want to be treated different. i don't want to be treated special or treated gingerly. i just want to be ridiculed, shouted at, and made fun of, like all the rest of you do to each other. take those stupid things off your heads ! oh, my, what an ungrateful bitch.

the nerve of some people. you know that nurse is actually pretty cool. yeah, maybe that dead fetus makes her smarter. i love you guys. screw you guys. ♪ carry on ♪ dead fetus, no, you never let go ♪ >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪

>> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," everybody. thank you so much for tuning in. thank you for coming out. oh, you guys are wild. take a seat! take a seat! wow! this is amazing! so good to have you. our guest tonight is the new democratic congresswoman from minnesota ilhan omar is joining us, everyone! ( cheers and applause ) also on tonight's show, we'll find out why you will be sick on monday, and neal brennan is here to talk about the ticking time bomb in your pants. but first, let's catch up on today's headlines. election day, it's the most important day on the american calendar right after christmas and the release of the new marvel movies. many people weight in line for hours to vote, which is a problem if you also have to go to work, which is why congress proposed a bill to make election day a public holiday. yeah, and that would be cool. you know who hates cool? this guy. >> senate majority leader mitch mcconnell is slamming a bill

to make election day a holiday. >> democrats want taxpayers on the look for generous new benefits for government bureaucrats and federal employees. their bill would make election day a new paid holiday for government workers. just what america needs, another paid holiday -- ( laughter ) >> trevor: why is he saying the good thing like it's a bad thing? just what america needs, another paid holiday. someone's, like, yes, that's exactly what america needs. if someone showed up at mitch mcconnell's place for the super bowl with a punch of pizza and beer, he would be, like, oh, great, now it's turned into a party, that's what this is. maaa! maaa! if i looked like a chicken clitoris, i would try not be such a jerk. flap flap becausjerk. ( laughter ) because in most developed countries, voting day is not a workday because they want people to vote. i get where mitch is coming

from. in 2016, 3 million more people voted democrat. imagine what the number would be if they got a day off. he's probably thinking if you make it a holiday auld maids and butlers will vote, then who will iron my toast? i don't think mitch mcconnell need to worry. if you know anything about america, if you give people election day off, people won't use it to vote. presidents' day is a national holiday but no one uses it to honor presidents. no one is driving to the national monument in february. i don't blame them. the thing doesn't look like george washington. no hair, no face. it's the least accurate statue of all time. moving on. it's been almost a week since president trump's advisor roger stone was arrested for lying to congress about his role in russian interference with the 2016 election. and while trump and hid supporters don't seem too worried his people keep getting arrested, they're very concerned about how they get arrested.

>> lindsey graham wants a briefing from the f.b.i. and tactics used to arrest roger stone. >> this seems to me over the top, and i don't know the message being sernghts but i personally didn't like it. mural, do your jobs, but these tactics are unacceptable given the level of threat here. >> president trump telling the dialing caller he is disappointed in the way the raid went down. he says he's going to ask the f.b.i. to review the way it conducts its raids. >> trevor: president trump wants to change how the f.b.i. conduct its raids, which makes me wonder, is there someone he's expecting the f.b.i. to arrest? he's just, like, from now on, if they're going to arrest someone, they have to give them a 20-minute head start and a golf cart! ( laughter ) if they do catch them, give them like a very cool massage, like the ones from china. ( laughter ) in many ways, trump reminds me

of the rappers who are all about money in the beginning and then they become conscious. in the beginning he was just, like, so much money, living my life, doing good things! then now he's, like, talk about how my people are treated by the police. all my people are getting taken away. i'm not talking about money anymore, i'v we've got to change game. ( cheers and applause ) moving on, if you're one of those people who loves sharing everything on social media, it may cost you because, in new york, regulators have now issued guidelines for how insurers can look at your social media and charge you more depending on what you post. your premiums could go up because of what you post. i think that is super unfair because half the stuff we post on social media is a lie. okay? i'm going to say, it's a lie. i never actually went skiing in the alps, okay? i just went to central park and changed the geotag. that's all i did. also, i've never actually eaten japanese blowfish. i googled an image and posted it

on the gram. that wasn't me. when i posted a picture smiling, i wasn't happy. i made the face for the camera. deep down i'm empty and the only thing that validates me are strangers likes and now insurance wants to charge me for that? it's fine. follow me and tell me how you feel. ( cheers and applause ) moving on, democrats and republicans in congress are working toward a deal on border security and right now agree on a lot of things but the biggest sticking point is wall or no wall. and today the president stepped in saying he doesn't want any of these shady politicians calling it a fence or barrier or any of that trash. a wall is a wall, you should call it a wall. yeah, by the way, who are these shady politicians who are trying to cal the wall something else? >> we don't use the word wall necessarily. we'll call it a barrier.

barrier, wall, call it whatever you want. i don't care what you call it. call it a barrier. call it whatever they want. a steel wall or a steel fence. or a slat fence. they can name it peaches. i don't care what they name it. >> trevor: okay, can i just say, if the wall is called peaches, then i think we should build the wall. i'm just going to put it out there, because peaches the border wall is the most adorable thing i've ever heard. you call a wall peaches, it takes away the stic stigma. it's peaches! i bet if you called the boarbled peaches, even drug smugglers wouldn't want to breech that wall. man, when you get through the wall, pass the sledgehammer. he'd be, like, no, man, not taking a hammer to peaches, man. we don't need to do this, most

drugs are passed through legal ports of entry don't you watch rachel maddow? yeah, i forgot that! moving on to the top story -- ( cheers and applause ) this weekend is super bowl sunday. the one day a year when eating 100 buffalo wings is considered an appetizer and one day a year where more people are exciting to watch the ads than the game. in fact, tivo will have a feature where if you record the game you can skip the actual football game so you can go straight to the super bowl commercials which is a really grate feature. wish they had it for real life. when you have a super bowl party, some guy will want to talk about stats or something boring, and if you have tivo, you can just skip the conversation. you don't even need the feature. just make is sound. just go boop boop, boop boop, boop boop, they will stop talking to you. ( laughter ) to get us ready for all things super bowl, time for our sports

segment with roy wood, jr. and michael kosta in another edition of i apologize for talking while you were talking. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> yeah! where's the flag? >> i didn't do anything. >> what's up, i'm roy wood, jr. >> i'm michael kosta. roy are you pumped for super bowl liii-i-i-i -- >> yeah! kosta, i'm so pumped, i've got a tattoo of the word super bowl on my ass in chinese. check it out. >> all that says is oil change, five bucks. >> sounds like a good deal to me. >> welcome to another edition of i apologize for talking while you were talking brought to you by planters. >> that's right, this year, mr. peanut appears in the super bowl for the first time ever. ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ >> always there in clinch time -- >> wow! mr. peanut flies into a rod's room and a rod doesn't bat an eye. >> if you were dating j. lo, nothing would bother you either. got peanuts, j. lo, life is good. >> i like this ad, much better than the unedit version which is 20 minutes of mr. peanut trying to parallel park that bus. >> yeah, that was pretty good. moving on, the ads are only part of the super bowl. kosta, did you know there's also a football game? >> there's, new england patriots versus the l.a. rams, east coast versus west coast. reminds me of the beef between tupac and the notorious b.i. smalls. >> don't do that.

tom brady is back in the super bowl and breaking records even before he hits the field. >> at the age of 41, tom brady will be the oldest q.b. to start a super bowl. here's another age thing, 32-year-old sean mcveigh will be the youngest head coach ever in a super bowl. >> damn, man! you've got the oldest q.b. and the youngest coach. tom brady's been playing football so long even his concussions are old enough to drive. >> but they never remember where they're going. >> yeah, they never remember that. and when your head coach is that young, you need someone to rein him in and mcveigh has someone to do that. >> coach mcveigh will be observe the sideline and has a getback coach to keep you behind the line so you don't get final phenylized. >> it's like a tango. side step into the official and then move back.

( tango music playing ) ♪ ♪ >> okay, okay, let me get this straight. so here's what we've got, you've got the get-back coach making sure the head coach gets back. >> yeah. >> but who's making sure the get-back coach gets back? what you need is a get back get back coach we'll be righ -- getk coach back back, that's just a congresso line. >> this just proves our country doesn't need a wall. all you need to do is put this guy at the border and have him pull back illegal immigrants. >> here! >> no, no texas! no, no, come on back! oh, you almost snuck into the country there, didn't you? all right, man, well, that's all the time we have right now, but real quick, kosta, what are you doing gore the big game? >> i have a bunch of friends,

great spread, importing pastrami from italy. going to be a fun party. what are you doing, roy? >> i was just going to watch the game alone at home because nobody really invites me to anything. >> roy, roy, you don't have to watch the game alone. >> ah -- >> just go to a bar. ( laughter ) trevor, see you sunday at my party? >> trevor: you damn right! roy wood, jr. and michael kosta, everybody! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) what? you do know it's not a chew toy, don't you? do you want my leg? go get it. look, he's not the only one. go introduce yourself. where is she heading? wow, it's the hidden world. you belong there bud. you'll be safer than you could ever be with me.

you've looked after us for long enough. time to look after yourself. it's domination in a can. ahh. taste like loser tears. new mountain dew amp game fuel. victory in a can. kick off the new year with the new iphone included from t-mobile. the amazing iphone xr is perfect for all those new year, new you selfies. and only t-mobile has unlimited with iphone xr included for just 40 bucks. so get the iphone you love most from the most loved in wireless. bring your family to t-mobile and get the amazing iphone xr included

for just $40 per line. what's a gig of data? well, it's a whole day's worth of love songs. [ baby crying ] or 300 minutes of baby videos. a gig goes a long way. that's why xfinity mobile lets you ...pay for data one gig at a time. and with millions of wifi hotspots included, you'll pay even less for data. or if you need a lot, we have unlimited, too. you could save hundreds of dollars

when you switch to xfinity mobile. it's simple, easy, awesome. click, call or visit a store today. want to try out my time machine? it runs on doritos. [dog barks] sure. so now what? gotta put the whole bag in. okay. yes! it's really working, jimmy! [humming, thumping] [humming] [thumping] this is the greatest moment of my life! get out of my yard! [birds chirping] jimmy? you're so old. [crunch!] it's the future! when96 calories beer seems like a typo.ste, but it's no mistake. it's a small miracle. what are you holding? miller lite. hold true.

>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." let's talk about social media. what started as a cute way to

share your brunch photos is now tearing the world apart. from an epidemic of fake news to the lincoln memorial standoff going viral before anyone knew the facts, to people killing off celebrities with online death hoaxes. terrible. people are tweeting celebrities who are just taking a nap. what can we do? here to help us is a man who still has a myspace account, neal brennan, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) >> thanks, buddy. p.s., tom says hi. ( laughter ) trevor, the way i see it, the problem with social media is the problem america always has, we overdo everything. the egyptians invented bread, america invented unlimited bread sticks. the greeks invented drama, we invented love in hip-hop atlanta. the french invented the ménageàa

trois, we invented the bukaki 5000. >> trevor: isn't bukaki japanese? >> yes, but america added the 5000. ( laughter ) point, is we overdo everything, and social media is our latest monstrosity and it's kind of destroying us. good news, your old pal neal knows just how to fix it. i got my inspiration from another problem, guns. there are a ton of great gun control ideas we're never going to use. that's when it hit me, what america needs is common sense phone control. >> trevor: wait, i don't understand what that means. >> then allow me to continue. ( laughter ) buddy, our phones are just like guns, you think it's a good idea to have one, but statistically, you're more likely to use it to hurt yourself. ask any of these people, because of a tweet, they all got into i'm stealing a page from guny control and proposing a three-day waiting period on all tweets. if kevin hart had a three-day

waiting period, he would have been, like, i'm not going to post this homophobic tweet, i'm going to post a promotional tweet about one of the 15 movies i've got coming out this weekend. ( laughter ) >> trevor: what else? >> mental health checks. let's apply that to facebook. before you can share something on your time line, you have to pass a simple cognition test. ( laughter ) question one, does the government release chem trails from airplanes? a, no, or b, hellz yeah, that's how the grogs got gay! ( laughter ) question two, did beyonce fake her pregnancy. a, of course not, or, b, these hollywood people out here acting crazy, you don't know. ( laughter ) question three, do jewish people control the weather? a, absolutely not or, b, i'm no anti-semite, but, yes, jews do

control the weather. ( laughter ) ( applause ) if we constantly have to prove we're not robots, we should also have to prove we're not stupid dumbasses. here's another regulation, before you can use instagram, you need to pass a background check. >> trevor: i get it, for, like, people who might be criminals or stalkers. >> no, i mean if you're going to do a selfie, check your background first. make sure the stuff behind you isn't weird, like sometimes i'll see pictures and there will be, like, why is there a microwaive next to your toilet? and ladies, if you're going to post a thirst crap, try to crop out your husband and/or your baby. but come to think of it, buddy, your criminals idea sounds good, too. we should have a rule for that on instagram. if you have a history of harassment, you're blocked. you don't get to creep on the gram. no butt cheeks for you, dawg,

but on the upside, you don't get to look at pictures -- and this is real -- of idiots at an amusement park. and by the way, trevor, i i think it's wrong you murdered that minion and used it as a hat. >> trevor: no, what was wrong is the minion called me a racial slur. looked me dead in the eye and said -- ( speaking minion ) not cool, buddy. >> not cool. those are aren't his words, either. ( laughter ) my points, we need to be saved from ourselves. we have speed limits, regulations on medications, calorie counts -- we ignore them, but we have them. now more than ever, america needs phone control. >> trevor: you know what, neal? i'm sold. i think what would set a great example is if you let me take your phone away first. >> typical liberal. ( laughter ) trevor, you will get my phone when you pry it from my cold, dead hands! >> trevor: neal brennan,

everyone! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) i'm on the pill. i'm on the pill. i'm on the pill. i'm on the pill, too. but it's not birth control. it's truvada for prep®, a once-daily prescription medicine for adults that, when taken every day along with using safer sex practices, can help lower my chances of getting hiv through sex. i use condoms. but i talked to my doctor about doing more. he said that because i had a higher chance of getting hiv through sex, truvada for prep could be an option for me. she also told me that truvada alone may not keep me from getting hiv. and it does not prevent other stis or pregnancy. you must be hiv-negative to take truvada for prep. so you need to get tested for hiv immediately before, and at least every 3 months, while taking truvada. if you think you were exposed to hiv or have flu-like symptoms, tell your doctor right away. they may do more tests to confirm you are still hiv negative. serious side effects can occur,

including kidney problems, kidney failure, and bone problems, which may lead to fractures. rare, life-threatening side effects include a build-up of lactic acid and liver problems. tell your doctor about all the medicines you take, if you are pregnant or breastfeeding, or if you have kidney, bone, or liver problems, including hepatitis. if you have hepatitis b, do not stop taking truvada without talking to your doctor. common side effects include stomach pain, headache, and weight loss. ask your doctor about your risk of getting hiv and if truvada for prep may be right for you. i wanted to do more. that's why i'm on that pill. truvada for prep. eligible patients may pay as little as a zero dollar co-pay. find out more at truvada.com. hey, darryl! hey, thomas. if you were choosing a network, would you want the one the experts at rootmetrics say is number one in the nation? sure, they probably know what they're talking about. or the one that j.d. power says is highest in network quality by people who use it every day? this is a tough one. well, not really, because verizon won both. so you don't even have to choose. why didn't you just lead with that? it's like a fun thing.

(vo) chosen by experts. chosen by you. and now get apple music included, on us. it's the unlimited plan you need on the network you deserve. switch now and get $300 off our best phones. blue moon is a belgian style wheat beer. brewed with valencia orange peel for a flavorful & refreshing taste that rises above. they've got a chance to time, give me time... goal. wait, there's a time out.

they're gonna ice the kicker! [pop-top can opening] [pop-top cans opening] what is going on?! i don't know! [fans gulping and drinking] i've never seen anything like this in my life. hike! the snap is good... ...threads are up... ahhhh... ahhhhh... ahhhhhh... ahhhhhhh... ahhhhhhhh... ahhhhhhhhh... ahhhhhhhhhh... ahhhhhhhhhhh... [clang] they got to him! doh!! oh! i don't believe it! can you believe it?! ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a democrat from minnesota who became the first somali-american and the first refugee to be elected to congress. please welcome back to the show congresswoman ilhan omar ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome back to the show. >> oh, thank you so much for having me back. >> trevor: it's been a long time since you were last here, and you have done a lot since

then. congratulations. >> thank you. >> trevor: at making your way into congress. that's exciting. >> it's been a long journey. >> trevor: and a fruitful journey as well. people love throwing the firsts at you. do you have ever get tired of having to be the first everything -- first refugee, first somali, first woman of color to represent minnesota, first, first, first, first -- >> i think people add first extras that are not real. >> trevor: yes, yes, but you are a trailblazer. just the job alone is something that fundamentally changed what doing kong was. there was a ban fo on hijabs for over 100 years. >> 187 years. >> trevor: does anyone look at you and there's backlash or do they think it makes sense? >> it's interesting because there was a ban on hats and headwear, and what people didn't realize is it made it

unconstitutional to apply it to me because we are supposed to have religious liberty in this country. >> trevor: right. >> and, so, it would have applied a religious test, and, so, lifting it is just upholding our constitution, and people are, like, oh, they did her a favor, and all of these people are changing things for her, and it's, like, no, we're just following the constitution. >> trevor: it does feel like -- ( cheers and applause ) it does seem like trump operates under, you know, a set of rules that no one else does, and that's -- >> he's delusional, that's why. >> trevor: and you haven't been afraid to call him out on that, but let's talk about some of the policies you spoke about. one of the biggest criticisms you always hear leveled against you and the group of freshmen who have come in generally is people go, oh, these are lofty ambitions that can't be achieved, america doesn't have the money to cancel student

debt, america doesn't have the money for medicare at all, america just doesn't have the money. how would you propose getting the money to pay for these amazing programs? >> america has money. we don't have a problem of scarcity, really. what we have is a problem of moral courage, right. our budgets really are supposed to be -- ( applause ) our budgets are supposed to be an example of our moral values. >> trevor: right. >> and, so, you know, this is why i got on the budget committee, because i'm excited to make sure that we have a budget that's reelective of our values. ( cheers and applause ) and, so, what we need to do is we need to make sure that we are prioritizing and funding policies that create positive impact in people's day-to-day lives. >> trevor: mm-hmm. >> we have been prioritizing and enriching the wealthy. we have given in to caving in, right, like to the powers of special interests.

>> trevor: right. >> and, so, we need to make sure that we're holding special interests accountable, that we're getting money out of politics, that we are taxing the uber rich, that the 1% gets to pay their fair share. >> trevor: right. >> so this is why we're proposing a marginal tax rate. we want to make sure that the american people recognize government as one that works for them and works on behalf of their interests. ( applause ) >> trevor: you are someone who has been very outspoken, you've always spoken your mind and spoken directly to people, voters, your colleagues, et cetera, and, recently, you've come under fire for a few of your previous comments. >> recently. >> trevor: yeah, but most recently, there was after tweet that you had a while ago criticizing israel and what -- you know, how they're handling the crisis in palestine and in gaza, and you said, you know, israel is hypnotizing the world is what they're doing.

you apologized after that and what you said was really interesting to me in the apology. you said, i apologize for focusing on the semantic arguments and clarifying my comments, but i apologize for not making people understand that i was completely not trying to be anti-semitic and not standing up and fighting against that antisemitism because, you know, people who may not know, but the -- the idea of jewish people hypnotizing anyone is part of the stigma that led to many of them, you know -- the holocaust and many of the hate crimes against them. you apologized for that but you've still stood fast with your criticism of israel. you still criticize people that you don't agree with. how do you find that balance between criticizing people and then also not looking like you are condemning mass groups of people as opposed to governments? >> yeah, i was going to say, with that tweet, what i finally realized is the realization that i hope that people come to when

we're having a conversation about white privilege. >> trevor: right. >> people would be, like, i grew up in a poor neighborhood, i can't be privileged, can you stop saying that, i haven't benefited from my whiteness. >> trevor: uh-huh. >> and it's, like, no, we're talking about systematic. >> trevor: right, right. >> so for me, that happened for me. i was, like, do not call me that, that's not what i was doing. and i was, like, oh, i see what you're saying now. so i had to take a deep breath and understand where people were coming from and what point they were trying to make. >> trevor: interesting. >> we is what i expect people to do when i'm talking to them, right, about things that impact me or offend me. and what is important in this conversation is that we separate the land, the people and administrations. when i talk about what we are doing wrong in this country,

it's not because i hate this country, it's not because i don't see myself as american, it's because i love this country and because i am american and because i want it to do better. so when i talk about places like saudi arabia or, you know, israel or even now with venezuela, i'm not criticizing the people, i'm not criticizing their faith, i'm not criticizing their way of life. what i am criticizing is what's happening at the moment, and i want for there to be accountability so that the government, that administration, that regime can do better because i believe that we all deserve better and the human collective requires us to speak up when we see something wrong. ( applause ) >> trevor: thank you so much for coming back on. congresswoman ilhan omar, everybody! we'll be right back! thank you so much!

( cheers and applause ) ♪ this is game fuel. 16 oz of pure annihilation. perfect for finding the second-to-last man standing. taste like berry-flavored win sauce. new mountain dew amp game fuel. victory in a can.

what are you doing? well the king believes people should know what ingredients are in their beer. he ordered us to tell everybody. did he order you to shoot arrows blindly into the kingdom? well he didn't say not to. wouldn't it be better to just put the ingredients label on the packaging? yeah... just a thought. introducing our new ingredients label. coming in february. (atlas) with verizon? do humans like overpaying don't they know they can get the 3rd, 4th and 5th lines free with sprint? (paul) yeah that means sprint's unlimited plan gives you 5 lines for just $20 per month, per line. (mom) really? (atlas) yes and you can save more than $1,000 over verizon and at&t with sprint. (mom) no way! (dad) robots don't lie. (atlas) the man in the mom jeans is correct. (avo) switch today and get 5 lines for just $20 per month per line.

see how you can save more than for people with hearing loss, $1,000 in the first year with sprint. visit sprintrelay.com ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: that's our show for tonight. before we go, this weekend, i'm super excited my arena tour is coming to cincinnati, ohio and indianapolis, indiana. so if you are close to or living in one of those places, i'll see you at one of the shows. if not, see you on monday. now here it is... your moment of zen. ♪ ♪ ♪ i'm goin' down to south park, gonna have myself a time ♪ ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ ♪ goin' down to south park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ people spouting, "howdy, neighbor!" ♪