this one's called "earthrise on the moon." [new age music] that's so beautiful. >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: yeah! welcome to the show! welcome to the show, everybody! welcome to "the daily show." i'm trevor noah! thank you so much! let's get into it, everyone. oh, man! oh! thank you for tuning in. i'm so excited. our guest tonight is a comedy legend, colin quinn is joining us, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) he's got a hit one-man show called "red state, blue state," which also sounds like the worst dr. seuss book.

( laughter ) also on the show tonight the least super bowl ever, rappaport lying more than ever about his street cred and a tip on how never to use shoe polish. but first, let's catch up on today's headlines. first up, the story absolutely nobody stalking about today, the super bowl. the patriots win, again, in the lowest scoring super bowl ever. tom brady and the pats secure another championship. >> the game had only one touchdown but set 18 records one for the longest punt in the super bowl. >> record for fewest points in a sfnlt fewest points through three quarters, fewest points by winning team. yeah, those were the records that were set last night. a lot of people will tell you another record was set for the most boring super bowl they've ever seen. >> trevor: that's right, this super bowl was so boring it was like both teams' offenses were boycotting in support of colin kaepernick. i mean, congratulations to the

patriots and tom brady now has more rings than johnny depp, but it was a pretty boring day, and the halftime show didn't help. nothing against maroon5 but they made the weather tech commercials feel edgy. ( laughter ) marine five was so dull even adam lavine's shirt got up and left and said, i don't need to be here for this. ( laughter ) twenty-one savage, the most savage rapper since 20 savage has been in the streets a long time representing atlanta. he is pure atlanta hip-hop. or at least we thought so until yesterday. >> the atlanta journal constitution says grammy nominated rapper 21 savage arrested by immigration and customs enforcement. they say he's from the united kingdom and overstayed his visa. he says he's from atlanta. authorities say he entered legally in 2005 but his visa

expired the following year. he could face deportment. >> trevor: one of the wildest stories, 21 savage is arrested for being from the u.k. we expect rappers to get arrested for guns and assault, not tea and crumpets. apparently his real name is lord savageton the 21st! ( laughter ) this is really rocked the hip-hop community and i understand why. it's like finding out tupac is really chad from vermont. or cardi b. is secretly german ( speaking german ) ( laughter ) like, i don't know how this happened, was 21 faking it or did he really change? was he just like chatting german? you know, yeah, how we do it in atlanta, man, the atlanta thing, hello, yeah, yeah -- (british accent) yes, doing quite well --

(rapper accent) yeah, man -- it's like finding ought dr. dre isn't a board certified urologist. i kept the appointment, but, man -- ( laughter ) it's 630 days until the 2020 presidential election. ( cheers and applause ) yep. and that amount of time is roughly as long as last night's super bowl felt. and this weekend, another candidate threw his hat into the ring. >> another 2020 race for president tonight, make room for one more contender, senator cory booker announcing his presidenting bid joining the already crowded democratic field. >> the only senator who goes home to a low-income city community, the first community that took a chance on me. ( speaking spanish ) >> his neighbor cheering him on. >> trevor: okay, i don't know if i want cory booker to be

president, but i do know i want that old woman to be the neighbor of the president. ( laughter ) that is dope. they should just move her to an apartment outside the oval office. every morning, señor, can you turn your tv down? it's too loud, my cats can't sleep! ( speaking spanish ) ( laughter ) if cory wins, he wouldn't be the first frean president, but he would make history as the first president named cory, which might be an even bigger achievement. cory is not the name of a president. cory is the name of the hot guy in high school who now runs his dad's gas station. that's what that is. ( laughter ) though i will already say, he's already got one advantage on trump, he's wind proof. that will work. ( laughter ) and finally, saturday was groundhog day, which leads me to ask what the hell is groundhog

day? ( laughter ) doesn't say. people pull a rodent out of the ground and ask the animal to predict the weather. this is so unfair because if africans were doing shit like this and you heard we pulled animals out of the ground -- like there are villages in africa where they wear animal skin and if i explained this to them, they would be, like, what's going on in america? ( laughter ) the governor of virginia, if you asked most people to pick his face outof a lineup they would have been, i guess the bald eagle and the wig? but after this weekend, everyone knows the governor of virginia for all the wrong reasons. >> breaking tonight, a racist year book photo taken over three decades ago has surfaced. this picture of two unidentified individuals, one painted in black face, another in a kkk robe and hood, appears on the 1984 medical school year week page of current virginia governor ralph northam.

the photo triggering pause for northam's resignation. >> northam says i am deeply sorry for the decision i made to appear in this photo and for the hurt that that decision caused then and now. >> i cannot change the decisions i made, but i accept responsibility for my past actions and i am ready to do the hard work of regaining your trust. >> trevor: wow, black face and a clan outfit in the same photo. these are two things that should never see the light of day, kind of like adam lavine's nipples. so on friday, virginia's democratic governor ralph northam admitted to being one of the people in this old year book photo, but he didn't say which person he was and i don't blame him because neither option is good. it's like you take the titanic and spirit airlines, you know. ( laughter ) at least on the titanic you might get to (~bleep ) leo. ( laughter ) but, i mean, i suppose admitting

to blackface is worse because everyone is mad of you. but but if you say you're a klan member, you're part of a community. a real upside. ( laughter ) the real shame, if these weren't costumes and it was a black guy and a klan member having a drink together, this would be a huge step forward, racial harmony, we did it. but because it is costumes, it is offensive. he admitted to it did and then ticket back next day. >> northrop backtracking saying it's not him. but admits wearing blackface in the past. >> my belief that i did not wear that costume or attend that party stems in part from my clear memory of other mistakes i made in the same period of my life. that same year, i did participate in a dance contest in san antonio, in which i darkened my face as part of a

michael jackson costume. ( laughter ) >> trevor: you know, this guy's a legend. i'm sorry. his new defense is that he knows he didn't do this black face because he clearly remembers doing a different blackface. ( laughter ) though it does make it more believable he's not in the photo because who would defend themselves by admitting to a different crime? your honor, i couldn't be the boston strangler because i'm the philadelphia strangler! go eagles! aaahhh! ( laughter ) ( applause ) although what's especially training is that it took northam a day to rep he wasn't in this photo. if someone asks you if you were ever in blackface or dressed as the kkk, it's never a good sign if your answer starts with, uhhhh -- ( laughter ) and still credit to governor northam for coming out clean about a different time he did blackface for a michael jackson

impression -- although again, uncredit once he started sharing the details. >> i'll tell you exactly what i did. i had the shoes, i had a glove, and i used just a little bit of shoe polish to put on my cheeks, and the reason i used a very little bit is because i don't know if anybody's ever tried that, but you cannot get shoe polish off. but it was a dance contest. >> trevor: whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa -- i'm sorry. how did he already know it's hard to get the shoe polish off your face? ( laughter ) because, at first, it sounded like he made a mistake. now it sounds like he's a blackface connoisseur. ( laughter ) "now, some might prefer charcoal, but i've always been a shoe polish kind of guy with just a hint of soot for texture." any tip for anyone doing a michael jackson impression, if you're wearing a sparkly shoes

and gloves and doing the moon walk, that's good enough. we get who you are. ( laughter ) no one's going to be like, is he lady gaga? who is that? ( laughter ) so whether or not governor northam was in that year book photo or not we know he definitely did blackface at some point. we also know he should definitely hire someone to speak for him. >> you said the competition in san antonio was a dance competition? >> yes. >> and it was that you danced the moon walk? >> that's right. >> are you still able to moon walk? >> in appropriate circumstances. >> my wife says in appropriate circumstances. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> trevor: wait, wait -- wait. hold up, hold up, hold up. this guy was about to moon walk. no, because he was looking around, like, well, i normally need, like, five feet to get

momentum, i, ah -- ( laughter ) i can't believe the guy was going to actually do the moon walk in the middle of his blackface apology. that was the wrong time for dance moves. that would be like i did not have sexual relations with that woman. ( laughter ) and, also, props to northam's wife because clearly that's not the first time she's had to stop him from showing his moon walking skills off. he does this all the time. he's probably, like, how about now? no, not appropriate! now? not appropriate! he's like the grute of moon walks. moon walk? no moon walk! moonwalk? no moonwalk! he seems to be sharing genuine remorse about this racist period of his wife but many say you should have known it was a problem all along. >> do you think as a grown adult

it's problematic that you need it explained to you that blackface is offensive? >> no, i'm not a person of color, and people of color experience different things, it affects them different ways. >> trevor: that's right. i'm not a person of color, but if you give me two minutes -- ( laughter ) billie jean! ah, ah -- my love! ( laughter ) oh, man! look, we're in an interesting place right now. i don't know what to make of this whole racism dumpster fire, all right. because northam is in an interesting position. people want him to resign, while others are saying his record has been exemplary -- he's been an ally to black people, his apology was messed up, but the things he's actually done in office work to make black people's lives better. others are saying, yeah, we're not saying that's not true, but,

at the end of the day, he tid appear in blackface and he was busted for it, so maybe you could give that job to somebody else who has never been in blackface, or a klanhood. truth is, no matter how many times we say it, a lot of white people just can't stop themselves from doing blackface. lucky for them, leo deblin has a solution. >> are you a white person for w a history of doing black face and now you're terrified the pictures might get out. you don't have to throw away your career because you were blade in a halloween party. if you're in black face, i got your back face. issuing leo deblin's black face protection. if somebody finds an old blackface picture of you, i'll say it's me. can't fire me, i ain't got a job. don't resign from your job in disgrace, let me protect you for the low price of $850,000. you can get that from your mamma. >> governor, is this a yearbook

photo of you in blackface? >> it was me. >> that doesn't look like you. >> that's because you're a racist! leo deblin, blackface protection. don't worry about looking black as long as you can pay white. got my money, bitch? >> i got it. ♪ leo deblin blackface protection, an institute of buy a friend ♪ >> next to foot locker. use promo code racist for ten% off! >> trevor: roy wood, jr., everybody, we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) i'll take a coke. is pepsi ok? is pepsi, ok? is pepsi, ok!? [laughter] are puppies, ok? is a shooting star, ok? is the laughter of a small child, ok? pepsi's more than, ok! it's

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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." this weekend, the groundhog wasn't the only adorable fur ball that came out of hibernation. president trump made a rare appearance on a non-fox fox news program, and you could tell he was tired because, at times, he actually made sense. >> would you let your son barron play football? >> that's a very tough question. that's a very good question. if he wanted to, yes. would i steer him that way? no, i wouldn't. >> why? >> i just don't like the reports i see coming out having to do with football. i mean, it's a dangerous sport. i likely think that as far as --

well, i've heard n.f.l. players saying they would let their sons play football, so it's not totally you neck, but i would have a hard time with it. >> trevor: that's right, trump doesn't want his son to have brain damage, which is strange because usually fathers want their children to follow in their footsteps, but that was a thoughtful response from the president, and rarely different from how he usually talks about football. >> today, if you hit too hard, right, if they hit too hard, 15 yards, throw him out of the game. they had that last week. i watched for a couple of minutes, and two guys really beautiful tackle -- boom! 15 yards! the referee gets on television, his wife is sitting at home, she'sto so proud of him, they're ruining the game! you used to see the tackles, it was incredible to watch. now they tackle, oh, head on head collision, 15 yards. the whole game is screwed up.

football has become soft like our country has become soft. it's true. >> trevor: totally true, folks. and what's the deal with seat belts? back in my day you went straight into the windshield into the other guy's car and that's how you made friends. fun fact, that's how i met rudy giuliani. ( laughter ) basically, trump is saying he's cool with other kids playing football, but he doesn't want his little guy hurting his brain. safety first. and if he had it his way, football would be even more dangerous. yeah, there would be proabled be coconuts dropped on their head, a ball that bursts in flames at random times, a medieval purge, all crime legal between the 50-yard lines. he also commented on the other violent cries threatening americans. sir. i can't you see, the president wants to pull out so he's not stuck paying support for years.

he knows how this goes. and a lot of senators led by mitch mcconnell are worried if america pulls out of syria, i.s.i.s. could regain power. but luckily the commander-in-chief has that figured out. >> you could in that vacuum see a resurgence of i.s.i.s. >> sure, and you know what we'll do? we'll come back if we have to. we have very fast airplanes, we have very good cargo planes, we can come back very quickly. ( laughter ) >> trevor: i love that he's rational. we have very fast airplanes, we can just go back. like america can just jump back in syria, like a mom checking on her son to see if he's doing drugs in his roovment okay, i.s.i.s., we're going now -- ah-ha! ( laughter ) his views on football and syria weren't the biggest trump news in the weekend. the biggest story was this. >> axios says a white house source leaked president trump's schedule in.

the last three months, he has spent 60% of his time in unstructured executive time, much spent in private residence, watching tv, reading papers, phoning aides and other people. in response, sarah huckabee sanders says while the president spends much of his day in scheduled meetings, events and calls, there is time to allow for a more creative environment. >> trevor: a more creative environment? that is not cool, sarah huckabee sanders. you're supposed to be defending the. , not make him sound like he spends all morning in a montessori pre-school. he spends more time in a more creative environment? i'm picturing trump in his briefings, like, the duck quo's quack, dog quo's woof, i.s.i.s. goes boom and the donald goes no collusion! ( applause ) now predictably, many people

were upset at the news hat the president spends nearly two-thirds of his day not doing anything. they think he should be working hard in the oval office, studying policy, military strategy, you know, really tackling the nation's problems head on, but i will be honest, i disagree, because, i mean, it's not his place. basically what i'm saying system cool with other -- i'm saying is i'm cool with other presidents working hard but i don't want my little guy hurting his brain. safety first. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) sweat. dedication. cupcakes. i'm michael griffin. i'm brian orakpo. we played football together for the titans. now, we own a cupcake shop. we bake, we decorate. i love this new surface pro. it's light, it's sleek, it's fast. i'm able to draw what color frosting we want. we do a lot with social media. we have funny videos that we do in the bakery [laughs].

there's nothing that you can't do on this device. cupcakes are a great business. oh yeah, as long as you don't eat the profits! we have to fight for we atheir freedom.le. let's show them what we got. [ whistle ] baa! [ gulp ] let's go bud.

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and now is the best time to experience the most advanced pressure-relieving material we've ever created. so you get the deepest sleep you've had in your entire life. this presidents day, save up to $500 on select adjustable mattress sets. there's nothing like tempur-pedic sleep. find your exclusive retailer at tempurpedic.com. ( cheers and applause ) welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight san actor and comedian whose new one-man show is called "red state, blue state." >> being equal under the law means that assholes have the exact same rights as you do. it means the person, when you are working on your computer at

work, it comes up behind you and taps you on the shoulder and you turn around there and they're over there. ( laughter ) thetheir vote counts the same as your vote in every election. >> trevor: please welcome colin quinn! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show," my friend. >> thank you. >> trevor: it is so good to have you here for so many reasons, one because you're one of my favorite comedians and two i was super worried about you because you had a heart attack. >> thanks for sending flowers. >> trevor: i did. >> yes you did. very happy. >> trevor: you don't seem like a flowersy person. >> no. >> trevor: if people know colin quinn, they know you as the colin quinn, in your face!

and since the heart attack, you're now like calmly, i'm colin quinn. >> yes. >> trevor: do you eat differently? >> no, i don't eat differently, i just take medication because i feel like it's an insult to the scientific community if i took the medication and then changed my diet. ( laughter ) you do one or the other. you know what i mean? ( laughter ) >> trevor: oh, lord! >> what's the point of progress if you're going to, you know -- >> trevor: yeah, why do both? >> why do both. >> trevor: i hear you, of course. >> a little precious extra five years? oh, yeah, let's cling on by all means. >> trevor: let's talk about your new show. >> yes. >> trevor: you do stand-up but have one man shows that you put together that are beautiful, you talk about the country, the history of the america. now "red state, blue state" is about where america is going. you are calling for the breakup of america in this new show. >> yeah, sure, it's already broken up but it's just a question of making it official. >> trevor: i like how

flippantly you say that, colin. >> yeah, i mean, nobody -- here's what i feel like people don't understand is that nobody is changing their opinion. >> trevor: right. >> so everybody keeps, like, tweeting and, you know, saying people have to understand. it's, like, no one's changing the way they think and they probably shouldn't. that's the whole point of the country, everybody thinks the way thivel like thinking. i feel like, in light of that, let's chop it up into, like, 12 city states and see how it pans out. ( laughter ) >> trevor: so, let me ask you this, then, what do you think the solution is or, more importantly, from your show, because you do like a bunch of research for yourself, what do you think has led us to this point? >> well, i mean, i feel like we're always here. social media is the first time people go, oh, you're in my face every day. i really felt that was just an idea. it used to be anecdotal and now

it's real. >> trevor: social media makes it work? >> yeah. that was a social art. wasn't meant to go electric. >> trevor: your show has been extended. it's done well. what do you think appeals to people about the show? it's a show about division and breaking the country up because you have people coming in from both sides saying enjoy the show. >> yeah, because people realize this is crunch time for the country, like this really is going to be a breakup, unless people -- i don't care. all i care is people acknowledge. i don't want to go into a war half aware. i don't want to wake up and people go what happened to the country? i want us to know what it's leading to. >> trevor: you don't mind the war you just want us to know why it started. >> yeah. >> trevor: we could be there, we knew it's coming. social media. >> i don't want anybody pleading innocent when it starts. that's the only thing that bothers me in life.

i don't mind bloodshed or whatever, i just mind people going, hey, i wasn't part of it. we're all complicit. i'm just putting it out there. >> trevor: i love it, my friend. you're strong after the heart attack. >> thank you. >> trevor: "colin quinn: red state, blue state," an amazing show. colinquinn.com is where you can find tickets. colin quinn, everybody. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ (engine in the distance) (wheels screeching) (kickstart my heart by motley crue) (truck honks) (ave maria by shubert) (loud thump, wheels screeching) (kickstart my heart) and people think i'm nuts... (engine revving) (wheel screeching) (clapping) (sound of can hitting bag and bowl) (cheering and clapping) always there in crunch time (engine revving, leaves swooshing) go get 'em nutman!!!

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rewards me basicallyaptain everywhere i stay.bvious and hotels.com so why am i stomping grapes with aerobics enthusiasts near this b&b? or doing goat yoga at this mountain resort? or treating a destination wedding to the sweet sound of pug bongos? because hotels.com lets me do me. where my dogs at? oh, here they are. hotels.com. you do you and get rewarded. take it away henry. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: that's our show for tonight, but before we go, don't forget, tomorrow, "the daily show" will be going live right after president trump's state of the union speech. you know he's going to say something crazy, so you better tune in. now here it is... your moment of zen. >> i remember the dance contest in san antonio just like it was

yesterday. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> i have made mistakes in my life. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ [phone chimes] - hey, cuties! i'm about to hit the red carpet with my manager streeter. say what's up, streeter. - what's up! - shout out to the lord jesus christ and sony pictures. - and sony pictures. - for letting me and my fam come to the "when in gnome" premiere. swipe up for tics. - why are we even going to this? - um, because it's a hot, cool movie premiere. why would we not go? - i just thought my first premiere would be for a movie that i was actually in. - i'm gonna get one of those red carpet pics with a getty image watermark, send it to all my ohio friends. - you still talk to them? - starting tonight, hopefully. - damn it. i don't think i got this fart commercial. my agent said they were deciding today. - you two are very sexy people. [together] thank you? - 200 bucks, you let me lick your foot. - oh, my god. absolutely. - ew, brooke, no. - what? it's 200 bucks.