tv The Daily Show Comedy Central February 6, 2019 11:00pm-11:36pm PST
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>> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," everybody. thank you so much for tuning in. you guys are great. take a seat. let's get into it. let's get into the show! i'm trevor noah. thank you so much for tuning in.
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thanks for coming out, everybody. our guest tonight, your favorite zombie killer and wakandan killer, gur. also on tonight's show, trump's state of the union. was the best and worst ever. beto o'rourke is getting ready to tell us thathe's getting ready to tell us something. first let's catch up on today's headlines. virginia-- last week, the state was thrown into chaos when it came out that governor ralph northam wore blackface in the 80s, which was a dangerous time for that. yeah, dressing up like a black celebrity in the 1980s. a lot of skinny white neckes were snapped from those injuries. anyway, a lot of people said governor northam must step down, give the job to virginia's lieutenant governor, justin fairfax, the next person in line. but then it came out that fairfax has a very serious sexual assault allegation against him, so then everyone
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started looking at mark herring, mark herring. and now we're back to square one. >> we have breaking news on virginia. with the state's governor still in hot water, the attorney general, mark herring, is now apologizing for wearing blackface in college. the democrat issued this statement: >> trevor: another virginia politician was in blackface? like, at some point you start wondering, are there any real black people in virginia? ( laughter ) like, honestly, if i'm a black guy in virginia, i'm doubting myself right now. somebody will be, "is this you?" "i don't know, man. i don't know." ( laughter ) so, the governor did blackface. the attorney general did blackface. and it only gets worse because the next person in line for the job is the house speaker, and he's an actual can of brown shoe polish. ( laughter ) moving on. president trump. he know he's under investigation
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for stuff that happened while he was running for office, and he's also under investigation for stuff that happened after he got into office. what about the little bit of time between the two? well, guess what? >> federal prosecutors issued a subpoena seeking documents from president trump's inaugural committee. >> the subpoena shows prosecutors are investigating a laundry list of potential crimes: conspiracy against the u.s., false statements, mail fraud, wire fraud, money laundering, disclosure violations, contributions from foreign nations, and contributions from straw donors. >> the committee raised $107 million for the president's inauguration, more than twice as much as barack obama. federal prosecutors want to know how that money was raised and how it was spent. >> trevor: that's right. even donald trump's inauguration is under suspicion. and to be honest, we should have known something was off when he was sworn in on a copy of "money laundering for dummies." we should have seen it. we just didn't pay attention that day. but it's a real question, though. like, how did trump manage to
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spend twice as much as any other inauguration. like, it couldn't have all been porn star n.d.a.s. where's the money? you know what i think? i think they paid everyone to attend the inauguration to say it was the most packed inauguration ever seen. just say it was packed. "yeah, it was me, myself, and i. we were all there!" and finally, some interesting news from the world of fashion. tyra banks has just announced a surprising winner of "america's next top model." you. >> former supermodel tyra banks announced today that she is developing a 21,000-square-foot theme park some santa monica. it will be called "modelland." the "america's next top model" host wrote, ""modelland" will be a place where everyone can be a model." >> trevor: "a place where everyone can be a mod snell so instagram? ( laughter ) that's what that is, right? a model theme park is a strange idea, right. like, why would you want to go
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to a place where everyone can be a model? do you know how models get treated by the industry in instead of height requirements all the signs in the park will be, like, "you must be this thin to ride." it will be only theme park where people are throwing up before the rides. what would the rides at a model theme park be? instead of bumper cars, instead of riding them you pose on the hood. "am i winning yet?" you know what would be funny, if they had a ride where you were a model and see how long you can hold on to leonardo dicaprio. the record is six months. you know how theme parks take a picture of you on the roller coaster. you know "modelland" is going to airbrush the hell out of those, right. you're going to look amazing-- terrified, but amazing. they haven't announced how much the tickets are mored "modelland" theme thooem park but they will be offering a senior citizen discount for anyone over 26. let's move on to our top story. last night, the president
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delivered his second state of the union address, telling the nation where it stands and where he plans to take it. and if you watched all seven hours of the speech, you'll know there wasn't anything memorable. in fact, the only thing from this speech that will live on is this viral photo of nancy pelosi sarcastically clapping in trump's face. ( laughter ) ( applause ) which is the most amazing moment from the speech. ( applause ) isn't it amazing how the meaning of a clap changes just by slightly adjusting the angle of your hands? because if someone claps like this, it means well done. you did a good job. but if someone claps like this, it means, "wow, great job." and then if someone claps like this, it means you're about to get your ass beat. that's what that means. ( laughter ) ( applause ) a lot of white people are like, "is that what that is? yeah, run. you see this, you run!"
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( laughter ) and for me, the person i enjoyed most last night wasn't donald trump. it was josh trump. he's the cute kid who the president invited because he gets bullied for his last name. but it turns out he fell asleep during trump's speech. ( laughter ) oh, man. the donald must have been so hurt. he would be like, "how could you, josh. i spent minutes writing this speech!" but for those who could stay weak for the speech, the reviews were mixed. >> tonight, we heard from the president of the united states what was one of the most, single most-inspiring challenges to the country. >> this was probably the worst-delivered speech i've heard donald trump give. >> i thought he hit a home run. >> i saw this as a psychotically incoherent with cookie cookies g poop. >> it was the best speech my father has ever given. >> "it was the best speech my father has ever given." to be fair, your father is
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donald trump. it's like saying, that was the best 7-eleven sushi i have ever had. the salmon was just the right shade of gray." i like how all the trump boys are growing beards. it's a nice little touch. it's sproabl so when mueller comes for them it will be, "eric? who is eric? i'm gandolf trump." enough about that boring-ass speech. let's talk about the democrats. many of them are preparing to take on trump in the 2020 presidential race. and look at all those faces. this is going to be a tough race, people, a really tough race. so let's check in on the latest developments in our ongoing segment "world war d." ( cheers and applause ) over the weekend, new jersey senator cory booker became the latest democrat to jump into the race. and one thing that sets booker apart is that unlike every president going back 150 years,
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he's not married. although, now, he says that could change. >> u.s. senator and 2020 presidential hopeful cory booker confirmed he has a girlfriend during a radio appearance yesterday. the rumor mill has the new jersey democrat supposedly dating actress rosario dawson. neither of them have confirmed the relationship. if booker wins the 2020 election, he'd be the third bachelor ever elected to the white house. >> before i declare president, i'm dating someone who is really special. >> >> you must not read the blogs. >> trevor: cory booker has a boo. who is she, and also who still says "boo." what are you doing charlamagne. everyone knows boo is replaced by bey. that's how it works. ( laughter ) i'll be honest. i hope cory's relationship lasts. but at the same time, i do think it would be really dope to have a single president. yeah, saves taxpayer money-- no first lady, depressing
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christmases. going to be fun. although i don't know if america wants to invite foreign dignitaries to a white house where a single guy lives. like the japanese prime minister will be is there a chair i can sit on? just push the clothes on the floor. you can sit anywhere. plus i don't know if you want the president dealing with dating issues while he's in office. he'll be meeting with putin like, "president putin, i have one question for you. this girl and i were messaging for, like a week and she ghosted me. do you think i should drop her." "try one more message, be be casual, something playful like, "if you don't respond, i'll poison your family. winky face. always use wifngy face, because that way they know you might be joke but could also be serious. " even though there are already 200 democrats running for president, there are still a few big names who haven't announced
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yet, and yesterday one of those big names gave an update about his thinking. >> former congressman beto o'rourke teasing a possible run for the white house. he told oprah during the taping of a tv special that he'll make a decision by the end of the month on whether he will run. >> if i can play some role in helping the country to do that, by, god, i'm going to do it. okay, by god! when are you going to know the answer? >> a serious answer is really soon. ( laughter ) it is-- is really soon, before the end of this month. >> trevor: no, beto! we need to know now! time is running out. there's only 21 months before the election! seriously, though, why does everyone keep pressuring candidates to announce so early? like, people push these people into the race, and then everyone wonderes yes the campaign lasts so long and costs $50 billion. like, it's genuinely such an american thing. like, americans are early for everything. you line up for movie premieres hours in advance. you wait overnight for the new
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iphone. you guys even show up to sporting events early and then you leave the game early so you can beat the traffic and get home early because you have to get to work early. like, we don't do this in africa. we don't care. i remember one time i went to a sporting event, i bent down to pick something up, and when i got up, all the white people were gone. what? what? we don't try to be early in africa. my mom just sent me a christmas card yesterday for 2017. we're chill. here's another weird thing about american campaigns -- your candidates announce they're going to make an announcement. and they always have to pretend that it's this big mystery. just listen to how minnesota senator amy klobuchar is trying to build the suspense. >> we'll find out this weekend whether another democrat is jumping into the 2020 race for president. minnesota senator amy klobuchar says that she will announce her decision this sunday in minneapolis. >> come to boom island in minneapolis, and then you'll find out. it's going to be a little cold, 20 degrees, wear warm clothes, maybe have, you know, a little
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heat warmers with you. but then you'll find out my decision. we're going to have hot chocolate, campfires. be there. >> trevor: okay, she-- she's obviously running, right? ( laughter ) no, because, if she isn't this is super messed up. why would you drag everyone out to some frozen island in minnesota to announce that you're not running for president. let me tell you something, if i haul my ass out there and you're not running for president, i'll be like, "eff that. we were shutting this thing down. no one leaves until somebody announces they're running for program. sm the biggest news from the democratic race this week isn't about the people who might run. it's about a big name who is already in the race. >> this morning, 2020 presidential hopefu hopeful elih warren is facing renewed back lask. "the washington post" obtained her 1986 registration for the state bar of texas in which she listed her race as american indian. >> i am sorry that i extended
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confusion about tribal citizenship and tribal sovereignty and for harm caused. i am also sorry for not being more mindful of this decades ago. >> trevor: goddamn. so over 30 years ago, elizabeth warren said she was american indian. and almost every virginia politician was in blackface. did nobody want to be white in the 80s? ( laughter ) and how many timeses is warren going to keep getting busted for this? like at some point even rachel dolezeal is going to be like, girl, enough already. you're making things hard for women of real color. yes, child." but i think this is pretty much what we can look forward to for the next two years: campaigns launching, candidates apologizing, resetting their campaigns, apologizing again. and by the end of it, i think we're all going to feel as exhausted as josh. we'll be right back.
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( cheers and applause ) look around. with artificial intelligence, we are not crawling or walking. we are flying. microsoft ai helps an architect bring history back to life. this is now. ai helps farmers grow more food with less resources. an engineer explores how ai can help the deaf see sound. innovation creates tomorrow, and tomorrow is here today. i'll take is pepsi ok? is pepsi, ok? is pepsi, ok!? [laughter]
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>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." super bowl liii wasn't just a melancholy festival of punting. it was also the lowest rated super bowl in 10 years. one possible reason? an exciting new sport that's attracting millions of fans. michael kosta went to see the state of play. >> hi. i'm michael kosta. and before i started covering the news on cable tv, i was a successful professional athlete. what sport? tennis. duuh. i was ranked 864 in the world,
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so i was a natural to investigate the newest sport sweeping the nation: video games? >> competitive video gaming, known as e-sports, is pooming. >> there's even a training center with five training rooms and six locker rooms. >> the olympics are considering adding e-sports. >> i went to california to a so-called training center in someone'someone's garage to talh these e-thletes to talk about why a video game isn't a sport. what the hell is this? this was the alienware training facility for e-sports team liquid, complete with scrimmage stations, war room, p.r. department, a team coach and even an in-house chef. the team's star, whose name is taco, was acquired from brazil's top team. >> they say real sport. >> you call yourself an athlete? >> of course. we compete. we go to tournaments. we travel a lot. we get some money.
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>> what does an e-sport athlete, mr. taco, do every day? >> just practice. >> yeah, i'm a former professional tennis player. that's what i call, like, a real sport. there is an opponent and you would relish the opportunity to defeat them with your racket. what do you actually have to show for what you're doing? >> come on. i have a very strong finger. >> a finger? >> yes, this finger i would kill at least one million people. >> that finger's killed one million people. >> yes. at least. >> taco was referring to his kills in "counter strikes" a game where guys shoot other guys before a bomb goes off, apparently. how is this a sport? i one the ann arbor junior open at 11 years old. how hard could it be to pound on these do,s. what are you staring at. i'm going to pound ow next. >> to the left, to the left. >> to the left! jesus christ! these games were clearly rigged against more muscular athletes.
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oh, jesus. why do they keep dying, taco. who is paying for them to sit around all day and mash buttons? apparently guys like three-time n.b.a. champion rick fox. owner of echo fox. what are you doing with these nerds, man, you're a real athlete. >> and so are they? >> what the shit are you talking about? me and you, we played real sports you know. you can see our balls in our pants when we play. >> were you an athlete? >> oh, yeah, yeah. i played professional tins. i was ranked 864 in the world. >> oh, okay. you win-- you win a couple of tournaments? >> no, i didn't win the tournaments but-- >> how much money did you make in your career? >> i made $11,000, about. but there's a whole system and i was, you know, right in there playing as a pro athlete. >> okay, in our era, i think there was no shame around pursuing a career in professional sports because you could get a scholarship to college, which by the way you can get as an e-sport player now. there are a number of colleges
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building e-sports arenas on their campuses. >> this is all great but let's get down to brass tacks. how much do these e-thletes make. >> probably one of the top makes $800,000. >> what? while players like taco earn 800 k, others earned up to $4 million. and thanks toitation and sponsorships, revenues will top $1.4 billion this year! $1.4 billion! are you kidding me? but what really makes it legit is vegas sports books take bets on it. so i did what anyone would do-- sold my dog for 3,000 bucks and put it all on the team at bark barclay's center. i don't give a shit. you're in brooklyn now. you're in the barclay's center. this is where champions play. we'll heal as a team or die as
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individuals. did i make myself clear? >> yeah. >> come on. >> ignore all that and we just follow the game plan. let's go, guys. >> it was time for team liquid to win in the semifinals and make me some money. >> let's go, baby. let's go! it definitely felt like a real sport. these gaming gladiators were ready for battle. >> ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for, team liquid versus gambit. >> click your mouse! they flexed their fingers. they clicked their butons. they adjusted their headsets. come on! let's start the the wave, starting over here! woooo! watch the stairs, watch it's oh! they fought to outmaneuver, evade, and shoot their opponents' heads off. and just when it looked like team liquid was on the ropes, they reallied. >> yeah!
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yeah! yeah! >> the finalist is team liquid! >> that's what i'm talking about! that's what i'm talking about, baby! woooo! number one! team liquid! are video games a sport? who cares? i'm rich. time to try to buy my dog back! >> trevor: michael kosta, everyone. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) ♪
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>> please, don't. please don't kill me. please. >> how many? >> please! you killed them all. it's just me now. >> i don't believe you. >> trevor: please welcome danai guirira. ( cheers and applause ) >> thank you! thank you! thank you! ( cheers and applause ) thank you! >> trevor: welcome to the show. >> i'm really very nice. >> trevor: yeah you-- it's interesting that you-- do you
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have to start a lot of conversations like that with people, "i'm really a very nice person?" >> yeah, try dating. >> trevor: because, i mean, like, in "the walking dead," you're a master of many weapons, and obviously in wakanda you're the most bad-- this is the thing i always said to people, you know how bad ass you have to be to be the body guard of the black panther. do you understand? like she's going to protect you from the black panther. do you have to tell people, "i'm very nice. i won't hurt you." are people afraid of you? >> well you know, they don't show it too overtly. but i do have to disarm, you know, and i probably should get better at it. >> trevor: "black panther." congratulations. seven oscar nominations. and the cast already won an award, screen actors guild award for best ensemble cast. what do you think makes the cast so special on "black panther"? >> it's really kind of simple in the sense that ryan, really, was so amazing in how he gathered a particular group of people. and he always said, "i wanted a
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cast that didn't just want to come to work and learn their lines." and i think there was something really great about the spirit we had as a family on that set. we came in every day. we had ideas. we had thoughts. we were in it 150%. we understood, you know, this was a special opportunity. >> trevor: "the walking dead" is coming back for its ninth season. and the story has evolved so much. it started with the zombies-- the people-- you have to kill the zombies and keep on moving. but now we're in a world where it seems like the biggest monsters aren't necessarily the zombies. >> yes. well, we do have a new-- a very new and very scary enemy. we saw a glimpse of that. and there is a whole new psychological, like, mind you know what. this is a whole new thing. we have no idea how to deal with this, the idea that they are that disguised. you know how walkers behave. we spent nine seasons establishing how walkers behave. >> trevor: yes. >> and now there's this whole flip on it.
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and so how are we going to grapple with that? we've already lost someone who how they work, and what are we going to do next? >> trevor: you are somebody who is lauded on screen and off screen as well. people look up to you as a powerful woman on screen, a powerful actor behind the camera. but at the same time, what you do in real life is really amazing. you have an organization called "love our girls." and that organization has a very specific focus. what is that? >> the focus is about girls and how they get displaced and abducted during war. during war, the sort of sexual violence that happens during conflict. so the bodies of girls and women tend to be the stomping ground of wars ignited by warlords, and, you know, big men disagreeing. >> trevor: yes. >> and so "love our girls," there are so many amazing organizations out there doing astounding work around gender inequality across the globe. so it wasn't about me saying, "i'm going to come in and do this and that." but it was really about how can we nurture awareness? because you can't become an
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activist without it. and the idea of saying, like, if you just take a pledge-- and the pledge only means that you agree to receive the newsletter every month in your "in" box at logpledge.org, and we take a pledge and keep you informed and focus on various organizations and amazing women across the world that are trying to impact this issue. >> trevor: that's really amazing. congratulations for what you're doing. for the awards you're winning and all the awards you're going to win in the future. wonderful having you on the show. >> thank you. >> trevor: "the walking dead" airs sundays at 9:00 p.m. on amc. danai guirira, everybody. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) toothless. don't move a muscle. i will destroy everything you love. our enemies are getting smarter. we are exposed and vulnerable. this is our home. it's up to us to put an end to it. show them what you got, bud.
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let's go. it runs on doritos. want to tr[dog barks]me machine? okay. yes! [humming, thumping] this is the greatest moment of my life! get out of my yard! [birds chirping] jimmy? you're so old. [crunch!] i'm on the pill. i'm on the pill. i'm on the pill, too. but it's not birth control. it's truvada for prep®, a once-daily prescription medicine for adults that, when taken every day along with using safer sex practices, can help lower my chances of getting hiv through sex. i use condoms. but i talked to my doctor about doing more. he said that because i had a higher chance of getting hiv through sex, truvada for prep could be an option for me. she also told me that truvada alone may not keep me from getting hiv. and it does not prevent other stis or pregnancy. you must be hiv-negative to take truvada for prep.
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so you need to get tested for hiv immediately before, and at least every 3 months, while taking truvada. if you think you were exposed to hiv or have flu-like symptoms, tell your doctor right away. they may do more tests to confirm you are still hiv negative. serious side effects can occur, including kidney problems, kidney failure, and bone problems, which may lead to fractures. rare, life-threatening side effects include a build-up of lactic acid and liver problems. tell your doctor about all the medicines you take, if you are pregnant or breastfeeding, or if you have kidney, bone, or liver problems, including hepatitis. if you have hepatitis b, do not stop taking truvada without talking to your doctor. common side effects include stomach pain, headache, and weight loss. ask your doctor about your risk of getting hiv and if truvada for prep may be right for you. i wanted to do more. that's why i'm on that pill. truvada for prep. eligible patients may pay as little as a zero dollar co-pay. find out more at truvada.com. what if we spice excethings up a bit?
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alexa... "fire" by the ohio players ♪fire (uh) (uh) what if we turn it up a notch? ♪fire (it's all about) (uh, uh) what if we go off the map? ♪fire (woo, woo, woo) ♪fire the all-new rav4. toyota. let's go places. ( cheers and applause ). >> trevor: well, that's our show for tonight. thank you so much for tuning in. here it is, your moment of zen.
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♪ ♪ >> i am having a fun time. free drinks a drinks at the h. ( slurring words ). >> i was yelling, i love velvet. >> that's good. >> and i told him, i said very clearly, "mr. president. i love you. i love this white house. but you're never getting me back." ( cheers and applause ) [ melancholy music playing ] [ telephones ringing ] [ copier whirring ] [ crying ] [ banging ] [ the free design's "i found love" plays ]
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