how are you feeling? - ah. - ugh. - well, we just came by because we have something to tell you. - yeah, see, we got you to fight just 'cause we wanted to see who was the toughest. we made up all that stuff we said to get you guys mad at each other. - yes, you can flip us off, craig. we deserve that. we just came by to apologize. we feel so bad. - boy, do we ever. - so i guess we'll be going now. and we'll just live with the knowledge that you're both kind of sissies. - what? - what? - well, i mean, that's what was on the news. - what was on the news? - oh, you didn't see it? tweek's family was on the news saying what a wuss you are, craig. - huh? - yeah, and then craig's family came on and said tweek was the wuss, and then punched tweek's mom in the hooters. - ah, you son of a bitch. - i'm gonna kick your ass! - come on, tweek, you got him. - sumo technique, craig, sumo technique.

>> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," everybody! welcome to it! i'm trevor noah! thank you so much for tuning in! our guest tonight is a journalist with a new memoir about being the first black female reporter at the "washington post," dorothy butler gilliam is joining us. she's 82 years old, and i think she can still kick my ass. ( cheers and applause )

>> trevor: really amazing story! stay tuned for that. also on the show tonight, a fashion trend worse than socks with sandals, roy wood, jr. takes us back in time and why you should feel sorry for billionaires. but first, let's catch up on today's headlines. build the wall, the favorite chant at president trump's rallies, right after lock her up and extra dipping sauce. ( laughter ) but now the democratic governor from new mexico iso showing trump what she thinks of his wall. >> the governor of new mexico really doesn't like walls. watch this. >> i'm michelle lujan grisham. we have to bust through walls to make changes in our schools. i'll create public and private partnerships to rebuild our infrastructure. we need more apprenticeships and skills training.

and the billions in the permanent fund to invest in schools and small businesses. and here's what i think of trump's wall! ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: oh, man! none of those people were actors. they're just like who is this lady? this is the greatest thick i've ever seen. i feel like that ad is just porn for the kool-aid man. oh yeah! oh yeah! oh yeah! i wish more politicians would take their campaign slogans and make them completely literal. i love that. she would be, it's time for us to break the glass ceiling. slash! aaahhh! we also need medicare, medicare for all! medicare! ( laughter ) in other news, it's february, which as anyone in virginia can tell you is blackface history month. ( audience reacts ) today, virginia had its third blackface scandal in a week! there is so much blackface in virginia i bet when you get your

shoes shined the kid goes, what are we going, with the feet tore the face? ( laughter ) when state senate majority leader was school editor in 1968, he filled it with pages and pages of blackface photos, distbution, and confusing for old alumni who are starting to lose their memories. if you're old and going through your year book and you're just, like, oh, wow, i was so young and black back then. ( laughter ) and before you say, oh, of course this would happen in virginia, just a bunch of ignorant red necks. let me assure you, there was plenty of elegant and high blackface going on as well. >> gucci stopped selling a sweater after criticism it resembled black face. many on social media called the desino fencive. gucci pulled the sweater and apologized saying it was a powerful learning moment and that it's committed to increasing diversity. >> trevor: okay, what the

(~bleep )? why would you make that? even as a clothing item. why would you make that? and where would you even wear that, skiing? i guess if you're skiing, no black people would see you but still doesn't make it okay! ( laughter ) and i'm stick of companies saying ther this was a powerful learning moment first because they never actually seemed to learn. you know how they will really learn is if these companies have to pay black people every time they do racist shit like this. every single time they have to pay black people out. at least that way black people get something out of it. guys on the street like damn, man, you get a new car? yeah, h.&m. did another monkey add, man. oh, i need to check it out! delta and diet coke apparently decided aerials needed to be more gross. >> u.s.a. today says delta apologized for diet coke napkins it handed out to passengers, the

napkins included a place to write down their phone numbers so they could pass it to their plane crush because they say you never know. some said they were creepy. delta removed them from planes last month. coca-cola has also apologized. >> trevor: no one is trying to find the love of their life on a plane. planes are uncomfortable, everyone's in a bad mood, they're shouting at me it's illegal to be in the cockpit, i don't know what that means. it's a bum idea. i will say i do like the idea of special airplane napkins. not for flirting but just for passing around secret notes. yeah, i think we could use that on a plane. i want to pass a note to the guy with his shoes off and nasty-ass toes in the aisle. the air is circulating and now i'm breathing your toe smoke. another secret note for the asshole in front of me reclining while i'm eating. and the asshole behind me kicking me seat when i'm reclining because i'm trying to

eat. and another note for the douche back who puts his carry on above my seat and now i'm trapped and you got your dick in the face while i'm sitting there -- have a napkin, mother (~bleep )! i think the napkins are a great idea. all right, let's move on to our top story. the democrats. now that they're running the house of representatives, they finally have some real power, specifically the power to launch investigations which they're using to go after the thing that trump holds most dear -- no, no, not his family, he doesn't even know who half those people are -- i'm talking about his money. >> just one day after the president warned congress about investigating him, house democrats launched a probe into his business and personal finances. >> a ways and means subcommittee meeting today is building a case to request the president's tax returns, investigating potential

business conflicts. >> it's called presidential harassment and it's unfortunate and it really does hurt our doesn't. >> trevor: you laugh but it's true, folks. ( laughter ) presidential harassment is a serious crisis that affects one out of every 320 million people in this country. ( laughter ) look at this man. he's so shaken he can't even speak correctly or dress himself in appropriately-sized clothes. you know one thing that makes trump so success. is that he knows how to make himself seem like the victim when other people are just doing their jobs. if the press reports on what he's doing, he's a victim of the fake news. if congress investigates his conflicts of interest, it's presidential harassment. i bet if the cops were chasing trump, he's the kind of guy who would call 911 on them. hello? i have an emergency, some crazy guys are chasing me ever since i took the diamonds out of that store and it wasn't even opened, i don't know what the big deal

was! ( laughter ) so the congress is launching multi-million investigations into trump and the thing he's most worried about him getting is his tax returns. see, president trump doesn't want them knowing how much money he has or where it's gone. turns out he's not the only rich person having sleepless nights. many real billionaires also worried about the democrats coming after their taxes, too. >> senator elizabeth warren wants a new tax on americans, calling it the ultra millionaire tax, posing a 2% tax on americans millionaires and billionaires and extra 1% on billionaires. sarnldia ocasio-cortez launched a plan called the green new deal. >> 76% of americans support making the super rich pay more in taxes. >> trevor: so elizabeth warren and ocasio-cortez are coming for the super rich. which, by the way, sounds like

the most useless superhero ever. help me, superrich! that speeding bus is headed right for my kid! don't worry, i'll buy you a new kid! superrich buys the day. a lot of people try to paint elizabeth warren and ocasio-cortez as fringe socialists, but 76% of americans supporting the raising of tax is not that fringe. the only thing 76% of americans usually agree on is that extra guac should be free. shouldn't come as a surprise that people want to tax the super wealthy. especially since we're hearing how well they're doing. >> around the world billionaire wealth enjoyed its greatest ever increase in 2017. the total wealth of billionaires grew to $8.9 trillion. >> just 26 people now control as much wealth as half of the

earth's population. >> the three wealthiest people in the united states, bill gates, jeff bezos and warren buffett now own more wealth than the entire bottom half to have the american population, combined a total of 163 million people or 63 million house holiday season. >> trevor: holy shit, three dudes have as much money as the poorest 1,363,000,000 people in america. honestly, do we even have to tell them that we're taxing them? like, because i don't even think they would notice. they would be like, yeah, just take it. what taxes? what are you talking about? they wouldn't notice. it's like if you took one tattoo away from adam levine, he's never going to know! ( laughter ) because most to have the world's wealth is more and more concentrated, most people ron board with raising taxons the super rich. although if you asked the super rich, they've got a billion reasons why their taxes shouldn't go up. >> what do you think of senator warren's idea of a tax on

wealth? >> we shouldn't be embarrassed about our system. if you want to look at a system that's noncapitalistic, just take a look at what was perhaps the wealthiest country in the world and today people are starving to death, it's called venezuela. if the democrats are proposing anything close to a 70% level of income tax, how many core democrats are going to be supportive of a move toward socialism? not very many. president trump will get reelected. >> trevor: you don't have to be a genius to see what's happening here. these billionaires are fear mongering. they're making it seem like there are only two options in life, either they have low taxes or we starve to death in trump-azuela. and it's bullshit, though, it is. it's middle frowned. this is the same logic guys use to get their gill friends to have sex. either we bone or my balls are going to explode, okay? it's called blue balls, it really painful!

why don't you just jack off? it's not the same. also, just let it out. there's more middle ground. we turn to ronny chieng, everybody! as somebody deep in finance, what do you think of the new drive to raise taxons the rich? >> i will be honest, trevor, i used to support it but then i became a crazy rich asian, and now that i've made some money, i realize there is no difference between passing taxes on the rich and 9/11. both attack american values and both were done by the federal government ( audience reacts ) >> trevor: don't bring your conspiracy theories to "the daily show." keep them on youtube. anyway, i'm shocked, ronny, that you're against taxing the super rich. why would you be against that? >> women explain something to you, trevor -- when you don't have money, you think small. you stop believing we need taxes to pay for better schools, roads, healthcare, for better society, but once you have money, you see the bigger

picture, which is that flying in private jets is (~bleep ) awesome. so let's quit hating successful people, trevor. not only should rich people pay less taxes but billionaires should pay none. >> trevor: whoa, no taxes for billionaires? why would you say this? you're not even a billionaire. >> no, you're not a billionaire but i will be as soon as my new product idea takes off. get this, a refrigerator that screams when it's empty. ( laughter ) >> trevor: ronny, that is a terrible idea. >> you're such a jealous bitch. all right, here's my point, america, these socialist haters are just trying to trap us, okay? they were going to trick us into raising taxes on billionaires but once we all become billionaires, we will be the ones getting screwed. >> trevor: that's the trap, billionaires act like, with enough hard work, anyone can become super rich, but the odds are insanely small, there are only 300,000 billionaires in the entire world. >> correction, 3,001 after my

shrieko fridge hits the market! >> trevor: ronny chieng, everybody! we'll be right back! look around. with artificial intelligence, we are not crawling or walking. we are flying. microsoft ai helps an architect bring history back to life. this is now. ai helps farmers grow more food with less resources. an engineer explores how ai can help the deaf see sound. innovation creates tomorrow, and tomorrow is here today. hshe's a light fury.e. introduce yourself. it's the final quest. did she just disappear?

and the epic conclusion... show them what you got! wow. to one of the best film trilogies of all time. it's time, bud. [ roaring ] now that's a king.

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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." it's february, black history month, and here at "the daily show," we're celebrating all month with roy wood, jr., who's honoring the unsung heros of black history in episodes of "c.p. time." ♪ ♪ >> hi. welcome to "c.p. time," the only show that's for the culture.

today, we will be discussing the history of civil rights marches. they were how black people fought the system, made change, it's also how your grand-daddy got his steps in. now, there are other famous marches that we all know about -- the march on washington, birmingham, and the march in selma, which i was getting ready to attend until i found out the march was on the bridge. i don't do bridges well. i told dr. king, if god wanted the black man to cross rivers, we would have been born with floating things on our arm like white people. ( laughter ) but there are many other marchs in black history worth noting such as the 1,995,000,000-man march in washington, d.c. now, some people say the crowd size didn't actually reach a million men, but if that's true, it's only because it was the '90s and all those parachute pants took up too much space, but at least hundreds of

thousands of men attended this march. they gathered to call attention to black issues like structural racism, unemployment, and most importantly an end to the jeri curl or as i call it, the black mullet. the hairstyle that hailed more black men than black credit. the only hairstyle that made black men look like jewish mothers. sadly, i did not attend the million-man march. i tried to but i misheard the location. you see, they said it was at the national mall, but what i thought they said was the nashville mall. let's just say all those white people in tennessee was as confused as i was when i was protesting in front of an orange julius. ( laughter ) now, you can't speak about marchs without speaking about the big, bad, sexy, afro-ripping black panthers. look at them, anyone wearing

leather in the summertime means business. in 1967, the black panthers protested against california gun control by marching to the capitol with their grievous and a.k.47s. that's right. i know you like to think being out in public with the big gun was your idea, but that was some black shit first, and while bringing guns to a debate about gun control is not very logical, it is very effective. in fact, it gives you tupper hand in most situations. my uncle bebo once walked into a chipotle and forgot he had a loaded pistol in his hand. free guacamole for life. well done, uncle. before you criticize armed protest. it was a different time. you had to be there. i was not. i wanted to join the black panthers but the day before the protest my barber cut my afro

too low and i ended up with a buzz fade. i couldn't join the black panthers with that, i looked like a wesley snipe who does pay his taxes. ( laughter ) i would be remiss if i did not purchase the powerful black women who fought to unshackle the chains of oppression, one is ida b. wells, who took over a 1913 march for women's suffrage. the white women said she had to march in the back but ida refused telling those white ladies telling them, either i go with you or not at all. which is a turn of the century way of saying, i'm about to take my earrings off, heifer. ( laughter ) i didn't attend this marrer because i was not yet born but my grandmother regina wood, jr. was able to go. but she didn't go. she said she was going with her best friend susan but the two

got lost and ended up in the caribbean where they have been living as roommates ever since. oh -- well, that's all the time we have for today. i'm roy wood, jr. this has been "c.p. time" and, remember, ain't got more that you know with bed in their house, must have been friends. >> trevor: roy wood, jr. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ oh, pete!?! c'mon man. what? we said pantyhose right? here, eat this... creamy snickers®. you could use a little smoothness. pete? pete zagorin?

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>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is the first african-american female reporter columnist and editor for "the washington post," her new book is called "trailblazer: a journalist's fight to make the media look more like america." please welcome dorothy butler gilliam, everybody. ( cheers and applause ) welcome to the show. >> thank you so much. >> trevor: thank you so much for being here. this is one of those stories that genuinely hit me so hard because it feels like you have lived through some of the most seminal moments in american

history, and you were also reporting on it. you worked for 50 years in this business. what do you think was the biggest change that you saw in your time in journalism as the first african-american woman working at "the washington post"? >> i think the biggest change was after the urban uprisings of the '60s, when the kerner commission, which was the commission that was named by the president, said the media had, in many ways, contributed to the fact that the urban riots occurred, and that was because they had not integrated their reporting and the editing staffs. in many ways, they said, they were just showing us america only through white eyes. so i started at "the post" in 1961. when i went back in 1972, it was a little different because there were more reporters of color.

>> trevor: right. >> more females. but, still, it was very white male dominated. >> trevor: you came into this world at a time when it was just something that did not happen. you walked into a news room where there were only two other reporters who were black. you were the first african-american woman in this space. reading in the book, just the most harrowing passages where they had a policy of not reporting when black people were murdered. one editor even called those cheap deaths that should been reported. >> yeah. >> trevor: how do you even begin to work in that kind of environment? and did you help the editors understand why it was crucial to report all news? >> i tried to help them and i think the way i began working in that environment is because dr. martin luther king was beginning to say to young black people, go into white corporations and excel. so it felt like i was almost part of the freedom movement by

going and becoming the first african-american woman at "the washington post." i didn't think i was a trailblazer at that point, i was just doing a job that i loved. >> trevor: right. >> i had had four years in the black press, and the black press has been very important in america, both in terms of reporting on civil rights, but in going places where white reporters wouldn't go. >> trevor: right. >> or white newspapers wouldn't go. so that experience also helped to prepare me for my work at "the washington post." >> trevor: i'm honestly fascinated to know, in that time, when this was happening, were you optimistic? did you think that you would see america change? or was the resistance too integration so strong that you thought it would last forever? >> the integration was so strong that i never thought i would see a black president. >> trevor: wow. >> that was a huge step forward. >> trevor: right. >> in many ways.

but, of course, with america, it can be liberal, and then it can swing to conservatism, and you see what we have now. >> trevor: i see what we have now. i do indeed. ( laughter ) 50 years of writing. 50 years of finding ways to report stories even in spaces you weren't allowed -- one of the most shocking and funny stories is when you talked about how when yourself and colleagues would go to marchs you would have to deguise yourselves because you couldn't be journalists in public. you would dress up as priests and nuns and hide type writers under your clothing which i didn't even know how they fit. but when you look at america today, how do you find the balance yourself of both where america has come from and where america still needs to go? >> okay, first, i should say that those reporters who wrapped

their old royal type writers in old clothes when they went into the south because they didn't want the white sheriffs to arrest them. >> trevor: wow. >> and, so, they'd also disguise themselves as ministers and they carried bibles under their arms, so that was a way of trying to get to the story and knowing they couldn't go as reporters. but where i see things today, i think it's a time when media is more important than ever. it was very difficult when the president started talking about fake news. it was very difficult because, you know, those have us who -- those of us who came up in the legacy media, we all knew about the issues of ethics we had to adhere to in order to be hired by "the washington post" and work there. we knew we didn't take gifts

from anybody, we knew we always had to pay our own way, we knew that we had studied in colleges and universities. so to have our whole process dismissed as fake news was not only detrimental to the u.s., but it was detrimental internationally because, whatever we say about the faults of america, it still has been the bastion of democracy. and, so, when you have something as crucial, you know, as freedom of the press being denigrated by the top official of the land, it has a very destabilizing effect on the whole world. >> trevor: i could genuinely talk to you for hours, but luckily i have the book to keep me company. thank you so much for being on the show. >> thank you so much. >> trevor: thank you so much. ( cheers and applause ) trailblazer is available now. a trawl fascinating story. dorothy butler gilliam,

everybody. we'll be right back ( cheers and applause ) ♪ sweat. dedication. cupcakes. i'm michael griffin. i'm brian orakpo. we played football together for the titans. now, we own a cupcake shop. we bake, we decorate. i love this new surface pro. it's light, it's sleek, it's fast. i'm able to draw what color frosting we want. we do a lot with social media. we have funny videos that we do in the bakery [laughs]. there's nothing that you can't do on this device. cupcakes are a great business. oh yeah, as long as you don't eat the profits!

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wisconsin and st. paul, minnesota. so if you have a very warm jacket and want to laugh, come to the show. if not, see you monday. now here it is... your moment of zen. >> well, there are a combination of things. the first one is the president's ignorance, and that goes to the point of thinking nepal and button are a part of india. >> seriously, that's what he said? >> trevor: seriously. - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - ♪ [muffled]