all right? - yeah. skinned knee. yep. ah. aw. ooh, a little ice on that, maybe. yeah. that does not feel good. ok. my serve. >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: oh! welcome to "the daily show," everybody! thank you so much for tuning in and thank you for coming out! good to have you all here! i'm trevor noah! our guest tonight is a writer and comedienne and friend of the show, comedienne from "2 dope queens" currently airing on h.b.o., phoebe robinson is here, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) i can't wait -- i can't wait to ask her what it's like to work

with jessica williams. also on the show, the governor of virginia joins a book club the earth is a giant bug zapper and senator amy klobuchar throws her name into the ring at one of her staffers. but first, let's catch up on today's headlines. the grammy awards, the night when white americans are remined of how much black people like to thank god. and last night's show is no different. >> music's biggest night for the grammys, and what a show. >> guardee b. won grammy for best rap album for invasion of privacy. >> grave took home a grammy for "god's plan" but many viewers upset his powerful speech appeared to be cut off. kacey musgraves took oim home album of the year, also appeared to be cut off. >> trevor: a lot of people were angry because people's speeches were getting cut off, but the show was also four hours

long. i understand that you're winning an award and you want to thank everybody, but we also don't want to watch this thing for four hours. you don't want to get cut off, give it a quicker speech, it's called the radio edit. you should know this. why are we letting people wing the speech at the grammys? i didn't expect to win. you could have written something in case. it's one of you and four other people. it's not like the mega millions, you know you have a chance. people go, like, oh, and i want to thank michael and anthony. did i mention michael? yeah, you mentioned michael! we heard michael the first time! ( laughter ) it's like the emailpeople who wait in line at chipotle and then they get to the front and go, uh -- no! you came in the door, you knew where you were going! just get done with the ingredients! thank you!

( applause ) you know why you're there. no one shows up to a circumcision and say, hey, anyone have any scissors? ( laughter ) you spend six hours getting into a dress and couldn't write down the name of your manager? come on! anyhow, i enjoyed the grammys. ( laughter ) every day we get a new reminder of how fragile our planet is. we don't know how long human life will be around but we won't be the first to go. >> we talk about the environment but the world is under threat from a catastrophic collapse of nature's oak systems, according to a review of insects. the total mass of insects around the world is falling 2.5%, every single year and, at that rate, scientists say all insects could vanish within 100 years. >> trevor: this is one of the stories where someone has to tell you why it's bad because when you hear 2.5% of bugs is

dying each year most people's reaction is can we do 10%? that's why they have to use butterflies in the footage because you wouldn't care about a wasp. ( laughter ) we need insects because birds eat bugs, and cats eat birds, and horses eat cats. look, i don't know how this works, i just know we need insects. i'm not a scientist. ( laughter ) but insects are dying, people. it's so bad, you know how unicef used to show the adds is stafferring african kids covered in flies? now they use the same ads but the africans will, like, now we need a dollar to save these flies. can we save the flies? ( laughter ) here at "the daily show," we want to do our part to save the insects, so we rescued 500 cockroaches from the -- ( audience reacts ) okay, everyone, look under your chair! if you see one, kill it! don't mess around!

kill that shit! ( laughter ) finally, amazon is in the news once again. this time the store with all the junk we don't really need to buy has a c.e.o. with junk we don't really need to see. >> the richest man in the world founder and c.e.o. of amazon jeff bezos is not going down without a fight. the tech giant says the "national enquirer" and orr david pecker are trying to black mail hymn. jeff bezos shared an alleged email descreening multiple personal photos they had obtained of bezos including a below the belt selfie. >> trevor: okay, i know this story is about the "national enquirer" trying to black mail the richest man in the world, but to me the biggest story is why is the richest man in the world sending dickpics?

if you're broke, i get it. it's sort of the one thing you have left to advertise. listen, boo, i live with my parents, i can't pay for dinner but i am a male of the species. ( laughter ) but when you have $140 billion, dicdickpics make no sense! first of all, every dick looks poor. you never see wean that looks good. riff dick looks like it's asking for loose change. you could make it look rich, but it is like, how did that poor guy get that faberge egg. he could have paid pixar to animate the dick and send it to the woman. forget it. just send a photo of "forbes" magazine you're the richest man in the world. if jeff bezos text med at 3:00 a.m. like are you up? i would be like you better brief

it and i got a bag packed, jeff, let's go. bezos is an idiot for sending dickpics. he shouldn't be black mailed, though. his punishment should be all his future pics get sent with amazon reviews. one star, item not as described. ( laughter ) let's move on to the top stories. ( cheers and applause ) virginia. virginia. it's a state that used to be known for things like slavery, plantations and being the capital of the con turd con fed, but now the history is tainted with accusation of racism. over the past week a series of blackface scandals have plagued senior officials in georgia and governor northam sat this weekend with an actual black person to make his case. >> did you ever think about resigning when the drum beat became so loud? by the way, they're still

beating for you to step down. >> yes, i have thought about resigning, but i've also thought about what virginia needs right now, and i really think i'm in a position where i can take virginia to the next level, and it will be very positive. >> trevor: what a bono way to keep your job. that's how you stay in office but there's no other job where you can pull that move. can you imagine working at kennedies and they're trying to fire you and you're yes, i was taking money from the cash registers but i think what wendy's needs is for me to stay on the job and help us heal from this epidemic of work preys theft. you say, but nobody is stealing. that's why it's working already. we're all healing, that's why i've got to stay. ( laughter ) northam says he should keep his job because he's learned his lesson. what exactly has he learned? >> governor ralph northam now says his blackface scandal serves a higher purpose. he says he's learned from it and

wants to spend the rest of his time in office focused on racial issues. >> advisors assigned him to read roots and the case for reparations and that he's doing a reinvestigation of himself. >> i was born in white privilege and that has implications to it and it is much different the way a white person such as myself is treated in this country -- >> trevor: whoa! someone's been studying hard at woke night school! he's reading roots, he's talk about private privilege. i feel like a week from now he's going to show up in a dashiki, being, like, the blood of the white devil must run through the streets! i now have the strength of the black panther! ( laughter ) now, look, you shouldn't have to read roots to know blackface is wrong. you can just watch the miniseries, way easier. but credit to northam for trying to learn and improve, although

now ironically he's learned to have about black history it's getting him into more trouble. >> if you look at virginia's history, we're at the 400 anniversary, just 90 miles from here in 1619, the first indentured servants from africa landed on our shores in old point comfort, now what we call fort monroe. >> also known as slavery. >> yes. >> trevor: aaahhh! oooh! oh, poor northam, seems like what he says, he makes it worse, because everyone almost had the same reaction as gayle -- indentured servants? nice way to say slavery. blackface is extreme tanning? aids is permanent flu? tsunami, aqua man in 3-d? what is it? ( laughter ) but to be fair, some say the

first africans to arrive in virginia were actually indentured servants, not slaves. in fact, america had black and white indentured servants before slavery became an all black thing. it was basically like the n.b.a., it used to be mixed and they were, like, actually, black people are way better at. this we don't need white people anymore, go play raquetball or something. ( laughter ) i'm not going to lie. one of the things that makes northam so entertaining is he's like the michael scott of politics, right? every time he tries to get out of a hole, he just keeps digging himself deeper. >> at a press conference nine days ago he raised more questions, admitting to wearing shoe polish to darken his face, impersonating michael jackson for a dance composition. >> that's right. >> are you still able to moon walk? >> inappropriate circumstances. >> my wife says inappropriate circumstances. >> for many of us watching, it looked like you were about to

actually demonstrate the moon walk. were you thinking about showing off your moon walking skills? >> no, because i don't have those at age 59. >> trevor: no! what are you doing?! the correct answer is, no, i was not going to moon walk because i was in the middle of a blackface apology, not because i'm out of practice! that's the wrong no! it's like if your spouse asked you are you trying to poison me for the insurance money? what? no! poison would look too much like suicide and they don't pay for that! it's the wrong no! ( laughter ) , so look, the apology tour isn't going perfectly, but i will say this, at least it's an apology tour. the question is, now, how do people in his state feel about him? because that's all that really matters, and you will be surprised to find out the numbers are not as black and white as you would think. >> a new poll by "the washington post" and george mason university in virginia found virginians are split on whether

governor northam should step down by 58% of african-american virginians say he should not resign. >> i think they should get off him and let him do his job. >> trevor: that's right, in virginia a lot more black people than white people believe governor northam should keep his job. which seems crazy, but it actually makes total sense. think about it, to black people, especially in virginia, every white guy serving in office has probably done some racist shit in their past. so you might as well have a white guy who has already been caught and feels bad about it. yeah, because you know that guy is never messing up again and now he has a racism debt that he has to pay off and tell me tell you, white guilt can be very useful, my friends. black people in virginia can ask governor northam for anything, better schools, criminal justice reform, a holiday for beyonce's birthday. a black man in virginia could ask northam to pick him up from the airport and he'll be, like,

i'll be there in 15 minutes. ( applause ) so i don't think this is crazy. if i were a black person in virginia, i would also want to keep northam around because, until his term is over, he's going to be working every day to pay black people back for what he's done. and i know what you're thinking, you're, like, what are you saying, trevor, he's their slave? no, no, no, not slave -- indentured servant. ( cheers and applause ) we'll be right back. you've tried moisturizer after moisturizer but one blows them all out of the water. hydro boost from neutrogena®. with hyaluronic acid to plump skin cells

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"the daily show"! so i know you can feel the tension. there's only 630 days until the 2020 election. ( cheers and applause ) so if you fire up your slow cooker now you will have the most tender election night brisket ever. but that doesn't leave a lot of time for democrats to narrow their field of contenders which keeps growing and growing. let's check in on the latest development in our ongoing segment world war d. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ let's kick it off with exactly l -- withkamala harris. she went on the breakfast club and said if she's president you won't need to hide your weed. >> i believe we need to legalize marijuana. >> have you ever smoked? >> i have. >> okay. >> and i did inhale.

>> you did inhale, okay. ( laughter ) >> it was a long time ago, but yeah. >> trevor: i don't know why kamala harris smoking weed is a big deal. it used to be scandalous but now who cares? weed is so normized that instead of drinking beer, it will be candidates stopping by to vape. another democrat made news. >> the vealed of presidential hopefuls is more crowded. minnesota's democratic senator amy klobuchar announce herring bid during a snowstorm in minneapolis. >> i stand before you as a granddaughter of an iron ore miner, as the first woman elected to the united states senate from the state of minnesota! ( cheers and applause ) to announce my candidacy for president of the united states! ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: yea! can we go home now?

( laughter ) we can't feel our legs! announcing your campaign in a snowstorm. from now on, everyone is going to have to top that. that's the bar now. biden has to announce from inside a tornado. then bernie will be like, oh, yeah? well i'm currently being struck by lightning and it has no effect on my hair! ( laughter ) now, some people said klobuchar holding a rally in the snow showed grit and determination. but to president trump, it was evidence of something else. >> the president clearly paying attention to his potential challenger, jabbing at klobuchar's position on climate change. >> he tweeted saying amy klobuchar announced she was running for president talking proudly of fighting global warming while standing in a virtual blizzard of snow, ice and freezing temperatures. bad timing. by the end of the speech she

looked like a snowman woman. >> trevor: snowman woman? this is such a weird tweet. on the one hand he's denying decades of scientific research on climate change again, but on the other hand he's being kind of woke, you know? like snow man -- or woman. ( laughter ) it's time we acknowledge that women can also be snow people! in fact, some snow women were born snowmen, folks! a lot of people don't know that! god doesn't always put the carrot in the right place, folks. ( laughter ) not always. we've got to be inclusive. ( applause ) but here's the thing about amy klobuchar. normally this kind of campaign rollout would be considered a success but unfortunately her anointment was overshadowed by other news. >> a mid the report that klobuchar had such a bad reputation over treatment of staff that a number of potential staffers withdraw from consideration to manager her campaign. >> sources tell the "huffington

post" the senator is it habitually demining and has burst of cruelty. >> she threw papers and hurled objects. one aide was hit by a flying binder. >> trevor: throwing binders at her employees? they need to legalize weed in her office. so fresh after her announcement, the first obstacle to senator klobuchar's presidential run has already presented itself. how does she respond to the accusations? not in the way you would think. >> i am tough. i push people, that is true, but my point is i have high expectations for myself. i have high expectations for the people that work for me, and i have high expectation force this country. >> trevor: whoa, whoa, whoa. she has high expectations for herself and this country? sounds like if she becomes president she's going to treat everyone in america like her stuff, she's going to be calling random minister 6 a.m.e., hey,

brad, why aren't you at work yet? i'm sorry, madam president! oh, you're going to be sorry! a binder flashes through the window. aaahhh! i do this because i'm tough on them. sounds like what my mom said before she whipped my pass, i have high expectation growrs! but are knees reports about klobuchar's temper going to be a problem? they could be. if there's one thing we know, the only people who make it to the white house are the ones with a calm, even temperament. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) look around. with artificial intelligence, we are not crawling or walking. we are flying. microsoft ai helps an architect bring history back to life. this is now.

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or these. good thing they're sold literally everywhere business is done. i'm pretty sure you could buy them at a bank. not sorry. reese's. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a comedienne, a best-selling author and actor who can be seen in the new film "what men want" and is one of h.b.o.'s "2 dope

queens." >> i think it's just an amazing moment, every, you know, woman's life if she's lucky to have her period -- lol lucky -- not so lucky. ( laughter ) i remember watching the with or without you video and bono is wearing a leather shirt. >> he's mysterious, kept singing with the ground and locked eyes with the cams and i felt like an egg descend. >> yeah... ( singing ) >> trevor: please welcome phoebe robinson! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> oh, my god! oh, my god! oh, my god! amazing! thank you! >> trevor: you have people standing for you all time.

you are kicking ass, phoebe robinson. congratulations on everything you're doing. has it felt like a whirlwind for you? i know you were genuinely grinding for a long time as a comedienne, as a writer, and then felt like everything clicked. you went from "2 dope queens," to a podcast, tv show, and now a movie. are you excited. >> i am. i'm on shop bop all the time getting discount sweaters saying i made it, you goes! >> trevor: your fashion is what people comment on most on "2 dope queens." do you go, like, this is going to be the fashion for this show, or is that just a by-product of your style? >> i have a whole glam team. i have a stylist, delean does me make up, sabrina does my hair. amazing queens, i just want to

be on that level. >> trevor: "2 dope queens" covers everything. it's not afraid to be funny, angry, sad, happy, joyful, optimistic at the same time, not afraid to be black but not stereo typically black. what do you lining being on the show and excited about the new season. >> when jess and i met, we do improve, sometimes we date white dudes -- sorry, guys -- we want to be ourselves. it's a perfect mix. so we just have fun and i think people really respond to that. >> trevor: you have a standup tour coming out. >> yes. >> trevor: i love it. it's called sorry harriet tubman. >> yes, because i'm ignorant. ( laughter ) harriet worked so hard on the railroad and here i come making dick jokes. so sorry, harriet. >> trevor: you say id but you're one of the smarts people i know. i think that's the fame you

play, you mask your smarts in the dick jokes. >> of course, because you want people to feel at ease and then hit them. and then they're like, oh, whoa! knowledge! so it feels good. ( laughter ) >> trevor: men and women do it different. your technique is i whip out the dicks and people get calm and i go with the knowledge. i go with the knowledge then whip out the dick. i feel like it's a very different game that we're playing. very different techniques we have. the movies, are you enjoying that? >> yes, it's fun to be on the set and this is the biggest movie i've ever done, "what men want." taraji was awesome. i kept to myself. i didn't want to break the thing. i was sweating out my all-natural deodorant, and i thought i can't talk to her now because i stink, but i was so proud to be a part of it. >> trevor: do you wish you could read men's minds? >> my boyfriend's minds. >> trevor: all the time? >> not all the time.

i would say what are you thinking? he would say nothing. i would say sls nothing happening in your mind? how? ( laughter ) h in eighth grade, i tripped over my crush and that ruins a good hour of my life. >> trevor: why are you torturing yourself! ( laughter ) you will be going to africa, kenya, specifically, in the coming months. >> yes. >> trevor: why is that so big with you? >> i teamed up with red and one of the organizations co-found bid bono and i am obsessed with youtube and i have been a volunteer for a while and i really like what they do and so i have been likely stateside talking about how they raise money and trying to get all the drugs over to africa and so i wanted to be on the ground and see where the money is going so i can speak about it in more intelligent, like, full way. so i'm going with bunch of donors. >> trevor: ever been? >> never. >> trevor: kenya or africa. >> never been to africa.

i'm really excited. i feel like i'm going to cry an oprah cry. >> trevor: you need to kiss the ground when you do there and wakanda to everyone you meet and everyone will go, yeah, yeah yeah,, that's how we roll. >> thanks. >> trevor: take pictures and come back and tell us about it. >> okay. >> trevor: "2 dope queens," standup tour begins in march. phoebe robinson, everybody! thank you! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ (atlas) do humans like watching spinning wheels? (paul) no, luckily sprint's lte advanced network is now up to two times faster than before. and now their total lte coverage is 30% larger. (dad) really? (paul) yeah. (atlas) that's the guy that dies in the end. (avo) get up to two times faster speeds than before

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♪ >> a net zero greenhouse gas in ten years. so you may ask why net zero as opposed to zero. the reason is that they're not sure they will be able to get rid of bovine flatulence. i can't believe i was just saying this. aka cows farting. - matt, have you seen my earbuds? [knocking] - it's open. - hey, have you seen my earbuds? oh, sorry, sorry. - no worries, man. what's up? - um, i was just wondering if you'd seen my earbuds. - oh, yeah. sorry, man. i borrowed them for a run. [woman moaning on computer] - thank you. thanks. um... okay, all right, i gotta go. - sure you can't stay and hang? - oh, my god. um... i'd love to, i'd love to hang. i just can't right now 'cause i'm in a play,