ah! - [loud banging] - [shouting] - [gasps] why, eric, you made your own breakfast. - yeah, mom, it's okay. it's grapefruit and lean ham. - and you're studying before school? - well, you told me i had to review my homework before class started. - oh, eric. i'm very proud of you. - tha--thank you? - i love you, sweetie. - okay, mom, you're embarrassing me, jeez. - [doorbell rings] - cesar. i'm so happy you're back. - how is the child doing? - oh, he's amazing. i think the change in personality happened. he's doing things for himself now and he seems to be accepting it. i've lost a best friend, but i've gained a son. - that's much healthier for him, and when he gets older

he'll be able to be your friend too. - you're the best, cesar, and to show my gratitude i've got two tickets for you and me to see "madame butterfly" this friday night. - well, no, my work is done. i've got to get back to los angeles. - oh. but i thought we were becoming friends. - no, not really. you're just a client. well, good luck to you. gotta go. - i cleared up the table, mom. i'm gonna go upstairs and make my bed now. - eric, how would you like to go with me to see "madame butterfly" friday night? - no, that's okay. besides, i told stan and kyle we could work on our science project then. - well, what if i took you to kentucky fried chicken afterward and then we'll go to target and i'll buy you a mega ranger. - could i perhaps have... two mega rangers? - yes, darling. you can have whatever you want. - [opera plays]

news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," everybody! wow! wow! thank you so much! thank you for coming out. and thank you for tuning in. you guys are electric! this is amazing. i'm trevor noah. our guest tonight is an amazing man who went from ex-con to entrepreneur, a fantastic dude. chris wilson is joining us everybody. you want to listen to his story. really, really inspirational.

also on the show, the new york subway is now free. some good news about guns. and roy wood jr. will tell us the best things to steal from black people. ( laughter ) but first, let's catch up on today's headlines. the border wall. it's now official-- neither mexico nor congress will pay for it. ( laughter ) so, like many of you after valentine's day, trump is turning to plan "b." >> this is cnn breaking news. >> the breaking news this hour, the senate majority leader, mitch mcconnell, dramatically revealing on the senate floor, the white house confirming that president trump will sign the spending bill, averting another government shutdown but, also, will declare a national emergency to secure the money he wants for a border wall. >> trevor: that's right, people. president trump is finally declaring a national emergency at the border. which is weird because, normally in an emergency, you don't spend months debating whether or not something is an emergency. ( laughter ) like, it's normally pretty clear. like, if somebody is breaking into your house you wouldn't

call 911 and be like, "no, no, don't send somebody right away. give me a few weeks. let me see if i can convince him to leave. i'll let you know." ( laughter ) now, a lot of people are saying that this could backfire on republicans, right, because it sets a precedent. the next president can come in and declare a national emergency on anything-- climate change or gun violence. and that's if it's a democrat. i mean, what if mike pence becomes president? he would probably declare an emergency because he accidentally opened his eyes during sex. ( laughter ) "it's an emergency. i saw mother's swimsuit area." ( laughter ) so we'll see how this plays out. moving on, amazon. it's the company that got so big, it forced the rain forest to change its name to brad. ( laughter ) and back in november, amazon announced that it would build a new headquarters in new york city in exchange for a $3 billion tax cut. but then new yorkers said maybe we don't want to give you those tax breaks. so today, amazon clicked "cancel order."

>> fox's alert: amazon has announced it will not build a second headquarters in new york city. it is a surprising reversal. coming after growing opposition from local and state officials. >> trevor: wooo! that's right, jeff bezos. get the (bleep) out of here! get out of here! oh, and i'm also waiting on a loofah i ordered. please, could you check on that, jeff, if you don't mind. i don't know if it's coming or not. now, the reason amazon pulled out is that residents of new york city took to the streets in protest. yeah, that's why this happened. ( applause ) yeah. that's right. ( applause ) because these people were like, "yo, you can't just come here with this whole corporate thing. this is new york! we don't want your corporate bullshit here with the home of wall street, time warner and the trump empire. get out of here! i'll be honest with you. i don't know if new yorkers should be celebrating so quick. you realize you just pissed off a megabillionaire who's bald and

his wife just left him. ( laughter ) it sounds like we created a super-villain. yeah. ( laughter ) i wouldn't be shocked if jeff's going to come back to attack new york, flying in like, "guess what, big apple? it's prime time! yeah! yeah! by the way, trevor, here's your loofah. ahhh! ahhh!" thank you, jeff. oh, and speaking of new york, speaking of new york, the subway-- it's never on time, it's overcrowded, and it smells like the locker room for rats. so a lot of people start asking, "what are we even paying for?" and other people said, "wait, you pay?" >> if you use public transportation, obviously, you're supposed to pay. but there is an epidemic across the country, people skipping out on paying their fare. here in new york city, the problem has gotten so bad, it costs $215 million in lost revenue last year. watch as this young woman strolls through carrying her coffee. why did you do that? >> because i left my card at home. >> this woman simply said she didn't care. >> so what are you going to do about it? >> we're reporting it. >> are you going to arrest me?

are you going to give me a ticket? so what are you going to do. >> are there any cops around? you guys are not comes, right? >> no, we're not cops. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> trevor: oh, wow, oh, man. i love how the white people are trying to make excuses, but every black person does not give a shit root? the white woman was like, "i forgot my card, i'm sorry." this woman is like, "you a cop? no, cool. goodbye, forever." i would have loved it if they said they're not a cop. hit this crack pipe. i get why some people skip over those things. like, i'm not saying you should do it, nobody wants to use those turnstyles. those things are so unreliable. you have to swipe, like, six times and it never works-- swipe, swipe, swiem. and you try to walk through and the bar hits you in the crotch. forget national emergency. if trump wants to stop mexicans he should put a role of new york-style turnstyles at the

border. that's what he should be doing. yi-yi, yi! swipe again. finally, you know what today is, right? it's valentine's day. aawww! it's the one day you can dress up as a baby and shoot people with a bow and arrow and get away with it. ( laughter ) it's really nice to have a day where we get to show that special someone that bee care. the men out there, that's all you really need to do, all right, because not everyone can afford flowers or chocolates or a private kenny g concert. it's about letting your girl know you love her. ladies, if he doesn't have flowers, or something, you need to cut him loose. clearly, he does not respect you for the queen that you are. he had all year to save up and now he's saying he can't afford a box of chocolate. that's $5.99 at walgreens.

you can't say $5.99. that's two turnstile jumps. that's all it is. one jump, two turnstyles for you. you need to cut him loose! anyway, happy valentine's day. ( laughter ) all right, let's move on to our top story. while most people are celebrating valentine's day, today, it's important to remember that this is the day that also marks the one-year anniversary of america's deadliest high school shooting. and while most mass shootings in america seem to be a moment of shock followed by a moment of grieving, and then people move on, the students of parkland have made sure that this time the story is different. >> the students from marjorie stone man douglas high school have become the faces of america's war on gun violence. >> fight for your lives before it's someone else's job. >> becoming a political and cultural force, marching on washington, lobbying lawmakers, racking up awards, magazine covers, quickly gaining influence among celebrities and

politicians. since the parkland massacre, 26 state legislatures, plus washington, d.c., have passed 69 different gun-control measures, more than any year since the 2012 sandy hook shooting. >> trevor: wow. ( applause ) that's amazing. that is really amazing. do you understand how powerful that is? thanks to these kid, states have passed 69 new gun-control laws, 69. nice! ( laughter ) because, you see, they're here organization but they're still high school kids, yeah. they knew what they were doing. they were probably going to reach 70 laws and they were like, "whoa, whoa, whoa! let's keep it at that number-- 69! perfect! maybe next year we could do 420 because of weed, yeah." congratulations, and all jokes aside, this past year we've seen gun-control laws outnumber the number of laws that loosen gun control dispp although the federal government didn't do much of anything, many of the states have stepped up in their own ways. >> seven states expanded background checks, and eight

allowed law enforcement to confiscate weapons from at-risk individuals. >> in florida, a new law raisessed the minimum age to by a firearm to 21. >> maryland, which has a republican governor as well, enacted a red flag law and banned bump stocks. oregon closed the so-called boyfriend loophole. >> ralph northam signed new legislation. >> florida, maryland, oregon, and virginia made it harder for people to access guns. virginia was so fired up, they were like, "we're also going to make a license plate." which i know is really small but i'm really proud of governor ralph northam to do that. he even used his own hand for the picture. so thoughtful! >> audience: oooh. >> trevor: thanks-- i didn't paint his face. thanks to the parkland kids and their allies, lawmakers weren't the only ones make something long-overdue changes. they also put pressure on america's most powerful citizens -- the corporations. >> after parkland, corporate america has made some changes. walmart raised its age limit to

buy guns and ammunition. dick's sporting goods stopped buying assault-style rifles. >> bank of america will no longer lend money to gun makers that manufacture military-style assault rifles for sillian use. >> controller, the nation's largest grocery store chain, no longer selling guns to anyone under 21. >> trevor: props to kroger for not selling guns to anyone under 21. but why is a grocery store selling guns? i didn't even know that was a thing. you know people aren't buying them for hunting. all the food's right there. unless some people are like, "buying this food is too easy! i want to hunt my own yogurt! come here, activia!" this is so strange to me. i'm not going to lie. america's next level-- buying guns at the saiment place you buy your produce. how does that even work. do you have to check if your gun is ripe. people go around squeezing it,

firing off a few rounds. "does it work? this one is kind of hard, but i'm only going to shoot it next week. so i think it's okay, it's okay." so all of these measures are great news. but let's not fool ourselves, any time there's a movement to restrict gun rights in america, there is always a backlash, and this year was no different. >> 26 progun laws were enacted at state level. for example, "stand your ground" laws, which allow the use of deadly force in response to threats, were expanded in oklahoma and introduced in idaho and wyoming. west virginia forces business owners to allow guns in park lots, and wyoming repealed a lawsuit which had outlaws laud guns in churches. >> trevor: damn! in wyoming you can carry guns in church? i don't know if that makes me comfortable when it's time to pray. it's just like, everybody, let us close our eyes." "no, you close your eyes! okay, we both close our eyes. on the count of three, one, two, three. ah! you didn't close your eyes. of you didn't close your eyes."

( laughter ) ( applause ) i will say, this i will say this-- i don't know about guns in church, but i think the one church where people should be able to carry guns is in the catholic church. yeah. be like, "hey, jimmy, want to see what's in my chamber?" "no, ultimate to see what's in my chamber, bitch." because it seems like america isn't going to say goodbye to guns any time soon, some schools have decide to to the stopwaiting for legislation and they're going to take masters into their own hands. >> schools are investing in dozens of products that advertise security. the university of maryland eastern shore spent nearly $60,000 on bulletsproof white boards. and a school district in new jersey spent more than $400,000 on shatter-resistant film for class. >> the colombiana school district spending $2600 on panic buttons for teachers to wear. >> he's down. >> reporter: teachers in colombiana, ohio, are training to take down an armed intriewrtd

with pepper spray. they're called "threat extinguishers" and cost $1500 a can. >> trevor: whoa, whoa, whoa. hold up. that pepper spray thing costs $1500? it feels look a rip-off. i mean, i know the teachers are desperate, but i just don't know how effective that would be. if someone is shooting at you, and everyone is scaredded and you start spraying at everyone. and then everyone is running into walls and shit. i won't lie-- i would rather take $1500 in singles and if a shooter comes, throw it up in the air. i don't care who are you, when there's money falling, you're going to stop what you're doing and try to get it. it's human nature. you can't control it. i don't care who you are, whenever there is money flying around, you will turn and grab it. you would be warren buffet and, you would still be, "what am i doing? i have all the money! this is not natural!" $1500 is just way too much for that thing. and, also what, are the poorer

schools going to do? they can't afford these measures. they're gog have to give teachers pepper grinders. get up real close. say when. say when! say when. aahhh. not yet! not yet! not yet! so, look, when it comes to gun regulation in america, clearly, there is still a long way to go. but i will say this: the year since parkland has been a historic one for gun safety, thanks to the efforts of these determined kids. ( cheers and applause ) genuine. i just personally want to say, emma gonzalez, chi cesher, karlie novel, and all the other amazing young people who fought for what they believe in, thank you so much for inspiring us and so many others. in fact, for valentine's day, instead of chocolate, i actually got you guys a token of

gratitude. i that you want i would save you the $1500 and get you each one of these pepper sprays. they're really easy to use. all do is aim them at the thing and-- aaahhh! i should have bought chocolate snm i should have bought chocolate! we'll be right back! aaahh! ♪ his is the oldest registered distillery in the united states. from a place where the water is cool, clean, and iron-free. perfect for making tennessee whiskey. charcoal mellowed drop by drop for smooth sipping. ♪ which is the not the easy way... ♪ ...but it's his way. ♪ ...but it's his way.

heyyyyy! ♪ it's the little things that make life rich. ritz.

it's domination in a can. taste like loser tears. new mountain dew amp game fuel. victory in a can

into your own little world.k especially these days. (dad) i think it's here. (mom vo) especially at this age. (big sister) where are we going? (mom vo) it's a big, beautiful world out there. (little sister) woah... (big sister) wow. see that? (mom vo) sometimes you just need a little help seeing it. (vo) presenting the all-new three-row subaru ascent. love is now bigger than ever. sweat. dedication. cupcakes. we played football together for the titans. now, we own a cupcake shop. i love this new surface pro. it's light, it's sleek, it's fast. cupcakes are a great business. as long as you don't eat the profits!

( cheers and applause ). >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." it's february, which means it's black history month. and we're celebrating all month with roy wood jr., and "cp time." ♪ ♪ >> welcome to "cp time." the only show that's for the culture. today, we will be discussing music. without it, your headphones just just be $200 ea ear ear muffs.

we know the best music is made by white people. they stole jazz, they stole rock 'n' roll. they even stole something called mumble rap which i'm unfamiliar with, but it contains the word "rap" so i'm sure i'd hade haight it. sacheas much as we get angry ate people for stealing our music we must also realize it has saved us from a lot of shame because there are many amazing musical genres with black roots that black people should be glad white folks took. for example, electronic dance music, or e.d.m., which is just loud thumping that never ends. if that's supposed to be music, than the construction gentleman hammering the concrete outside my house at 9 a.m. is beethoven and balk. even though e.d.m. was identified with black culture, it was created in 1980s chicago, led by frankie

knuckles. the fact remains that e.d.m. is horrible. although i'm told e.d.msm is more enjoyable if you are under the influence of a drug called molly. now, of course, a man of my stature has never taken "the molly" until now. ( laughter ) my nephew procured some for his middle school. i don't know how many of these year supposed to take? take one? let's do seven. ( laughter ) ( crunching ) i don't really feel anything, but it's got a good crunch. and white people didn't just steal music from black people. they stole musical instruments, too. for example, the banjo. the banjo derives from instruments used by west african slaves since the 17th century. but then white people adopted it and now, ironically, the sound

of the banjo today tells black people where they shouldn't be. ( "dueling banjos" ) if you ask me, white people should be grateful for the banjo. without it, bluegrass music would just be putting on overalls and using a washboard. that ain't music. that's just chores. which is actually another thing that black people did very cleverly-- we tricked white people into doing chores. "hey, master, look how much fun i'm having on this washboard, master. you want a turn? it's called music." ( laughter ) next up is square dancing. and i know that when you think of square dancing, you think of tight jeans and cowboy hats and senior citizens getting their freak on. but it was actually black slaves that learned square dancing and taught it to their white masters. although, if you ask me, i think that the slaves taught it to the white people so that they would be too tired to beat them.

white people get very exhausted trying to-- trying to beat, trying the one and the three. ( laughter ) ( applause ) so, white people, we know that you love stealing our music. but be careful, because sometimes it backfires on you. i mean, just look at this person trying to twerk. so horrible. so erotic. ( laughter ) i can smell my own emotions. ( laughter ) that's all the time we have for today. this has been "cp time." and remember... ( laughter ) ( applause ) oh, yeah. oh, i need a glow stick. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: roy wood, jr. everyone. we'll be right back.

we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause )

(thunderclap) if your day doesn't unfold as predicted. unfold this. new neutrogena® makeup remover single. and remove 99% of makeup. 100% rain or shine. neutrogena®. 100% rain or shine. ♪blonde, bleach, pin, tease ♪fray, spray, heat, geez! ♪hair, hurt, help, please! ♪rescue. reset. new pantene rescue shots. hit reset, and repair even extreme damage in just one use. ♪now play it again ♪ 16 oz of pure annihilation.

taste like berry-flavored win sauce new mountain dew amp game fuel. victory in a can. but one blows them all out of the water. hydro boost from neutrogena®. with hyaluronic acid to plump skin cells so it bounces back. neutrogena® -jamie, this is your house? -i know, it's not much, but it's home. right, kids? -kids?

-papa, papa! -[ laughs ] -you didn't tell me your friends were coming. -oh, yeah. -this one is tiny like a child. -yeah, she is. oh, but seriously, it's good to be surrounded by what matters most -- a home and auto bundle from progressive. -oh, sweetie, please, play for us. -oh, no, i couldn't. -please. -okay. [ singing in spanish ] ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a social justice advocate, an entrepreneur, and an artist who has written a memoir called "the master plan: my journey from life in prison to a life of purpose." please welcome chris wilson. ( cheers and applause ) welcome to the show. >> thanks for having me. >> trevor: your book and your journey is genuinely one of the most shocking stories i have ever read.

you lived a life that many people should not have emerged out of. >> right. >> trevor: right? you-- you talk very early on in the book about how you grew up in a world that your therapist referred to as basically growing up in a combat zone. what does that mean? >> it means there was a lot of gun violence in my neighborhood. i buried five of my friends before the age of 17. i lost family members. my brother was shot. my cousin was gunned down in front of my house. and this stuff was happening every couple of months. >> you went into a world where crime was basically the only avenue that was open up to you. >> right. >> trevor: you get into a life of crime as a young kid-- i think at 14. >> yes. >> trevor: and by the time you're 16, you're deep into it. and you get sentenced to life in prison. >> yes. >> trevor: at the age of 17? >> 17, yeah. >> trevor: 17 years old, sentenced to life in prison. what is-- what is going through your mind when that is happening? when that verdict comes down,

what is happening in your brain? >> it was-- it was like receiving a death sentence. and as you can imagine, going to prison is like being teleported to another planet. and i only weighed, like, 120 pounds, so i was, like, super terrified of going into prison as a child, being charged as an adult, and having to grow old and die there. and so i was terrified. >> trevor: what had you been arrested for? >> first-degree murder. >> trevor: right. so you lived in this world of violence. you're a 17-year-old sentenced to life in prison. you go into prison. this is a story that seems like it ended now, and yet, that is just the beginning of the story this this book. >> right. >> trevor: genuinely one of the most amazing stories ever. because you set goals for yourself. you get into prison, and then you decide that you're going to make your life better in prison. >> right. >> trevor: why? >> so, i knew growing up, my mom had instilled in me that i was a good person. i always wanted to be an entrepreneur, and by growing up playing chess and playing cello, people in my neighborhood were like, "man, that's not cool, man. you don't do that." so i never really applied myself.

so once i was finally-- so once i was sentenced to life in prison. everybody was like, "get comfortable. you're going to grow old and die there." i knew in my heart that i was a good person, so i wanted to write up a plan and apply to myself and prove to myself and everyone else that my life was redeemable. >> trevor: you went into prison being what many people would consider the worst of society. >> right. >> trevor: you are somebody who has been, you know, found guilt >> i got my high school diploma. i got my college diploma in sociology. learned to read and write and speak spanish, italian, learned mandarin. started a career center. on and on and on. >> trevor: you come out with all these skills. you got into the real world, but the real world doesn't appreciate a person who has rehabilitated themselves. you start going into business. you want to become a business person, but banks don't want to give you loans.

how do you begin the journey of getting the money? how does that work. >> first company was profitable. i was making, like, $20,000 a month. i went into a bank and asked for a line of credit and they all said now and i learned it was because i'm a convicted felon. that's what happens to a lot of people when they come out of prison. they want to do the right thing, and doors just shut everywhere you turn. so it was very, very difficult. >> trevor: people who come out of prison now. do you tell them the importance of therapy? do you try to get them into that? >> so that's something that's very, very important. i talk about this in the book. there are, like, 30-something things that you can do in implementing your own master plan. and the first one is, like, man, write that shit down. write it down. and give, like, someone else, like, a copy of your list so

they can hold you accountable. me, i did my grandmother. because no one tells-- no one like-- you always obey your grandmother, right? i had other things, like create your own personal board of advisers. so someone who is an expert in finance or, like, relationships. and you just take them out to lunch, like, once a month. you just do stuff like that. and, like, finally, just, like never, never quit. never give up. and surround yourself with positive people that push you. and often people say, "you know, your story is amazing." and maybe it is, but there's nothing special about me. i only made it this far because a hand full of people saw potential in me and pushed me to make me believe that i could be successful, and it's still like this to this day. >> trevor: i disagree, man. i think your story is very special. i think you're an amazing guy. it's not a perfect story, and that's what makes it perfect to talk. ( applause ) "the master plan," an amazing book and an amazing story is available right now. chris wilson, everyone. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause )

i'm captain obvious and hotels.com

rewards me basically everywhere i stay. so why am i stomping grapes with aerobics enthusiasts near this b&b? or doing goat yoga at this mountain resort? or treating a destination wedding to the sweet sound of pug bongos? because hotels.com lets me do me. where my dogs at? oh, here they are. hotels.com. you do you and get rewarded. take it away henry. look around. with artificial intelligence, we are not crawling or walking. we are flying. microsoft ai helps an architect bring history back to life. this is now. ai helps farmers grow more food with less resources. an engineer explores how ai can help the deaf see sound. innovation creates tomorrow, and tomorrow is here today.

the first-of-its-kind lexus ux and ux f sport, with the latest safety system standard, best-in-class turn radius and best-in-class mpg. experience amazing at your lexus dealer. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: well, that's our show for tonight. but before we go, before we go, i just wanted-- i just wanted to let you know that this weekend, i'm going to be performing in atlanta and asheville, north carolina. so if you're there, i'll see you at the show.