yeah, i think this will be good for us, car. - you do? - i mean, i have to or i will literally barf, but, yeah, might be nice to just get back to normal, not have anyone famous in the family. - maybe you're right. it's probably healthier for chase. - yeah. oh, what do you think mom's career news was? - who knows. [ominous music] [twinkled chime] >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: whoo! yeah! welcome to "the daily show," everybody! welcome to "the daily show,"

everybody! thank you so much for tuning in! thank you for tuning in and thank you for coming out! sit down! let's do this thing! oh, man, i'm so excited! our guest tonight is the star of the biggest movie in america right now. so excited to have her back on the show, lupita nyong'o is joining us, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) also on tonight's show, the secret tax on women, the worst best parents, and i'll show you the right way to cut a bagel. so let's catch up on today's headlines. brexit, it's how people in the u.k. say we're (~bleep ) screwed. and now things are more brexit than ever. >> the future of print, one of america's closest allies, is undern right now as the brexit deadline looms. >> in a last-ditch effort to end the brexit deadlock, british prime minister theresa may

promised parliament she will resign if it backs her withdrawal plan. if may's plan fails, parliament will have till april 1 to come up with an alternative or exit the european union without a deal. >> trevor: man, this thing is so crazy. said she's going to resign, voted eight times, now the vote is accepted, now nearly after three years of voting to leave the european union, the u.k. still can't figure out how to do it. right now brexit is the world's biggest escape the room. that's all this is. have you tried writing a new traitor game? it's not working! what about the irish border? it's stuck! >> i don't like the name. >> i don't want to leave the room. >> it wouldn't be an escape the room if we didn't escape. >> let me break it down. john oliver, you're leer to save

us! >> no, i live in america now. this is your (~bleep ) problem but i have a funny way to show how totally (~bleep ) screwed you are. so bloody (~bleep ) screw. >> oh, my god! so that's basically brexit ( applause ) thank you to be honest, we should been surprised the british are taking this long to leave europe. they aren't good at leaving anything -- pubs, conleys., col. why do you think alfred is still living with batman? he doesn't know when to leave. i told you i could take care of myself, alfred. how about a bat nap? only if you give me my bat blankie. of course, sir, of course, sir. in other news, jussie smollett, a month ago, the empire actor was attacked by two trump supporters who turned out to be nigerian weight lifters who turned out to be american brothers. then after jussie was arrested

for faking a hate crime, all the charges were suddenly dropped for no reason. now the story is getting weird. >> just when you thought the case of jussie smollett couldn't possibly have any more twists and turns, it does -- again. >> jussie smollett told police he was attacked by two men wearing masks. now his attorney says one of them might even have been in white face. >> took me all of five minutes to google -- you know, i was looking up the brothers and one of the first videos that showed up was one of the brothers in white face doing a joker monologue with white makeup on. so it's not implausible. >> trevor: i'm sorry, what? so now jussie's lawyer says he might have thought those nigerian guys were white guys because they were wearing makeup under their ski masks? and she says that makes sense because she saw a video where one of them was in whiteface. now, first of all, that's not whiteface, all right? that's joker face.

all right? that's not how white people look. no one sees that and goes, oh, hey, is that kyle? ( laughter ) who gets confused with this? and just by the way, by nigerian movie production standard, that youtube clip is a blockbuster. i hope they make a nigerian joker movie. it will be amazing. the best thing ever. (nigerian accent) why are you so serious? why do you still have a nanny? you are a grown man, batman! time to grow up, huh? ( laughter ) the olympics is getting desperate again. >> olympic athletes a step closer to going for gold in break dancing. the international olympic committee executive board officially recommended adding break dancing to the 2024 paris olympics. they hope it will help attract a younger audience. the committee will consider three other sports, skate

boarding, surfing and sport climbing, for the paris games. >> trevor: break dancing at the olympics. i like that idea. mostly because i want to hear olympic announcers commenting on break dancing. you know, they'll be, like, and -- there's the lock -- waiting now for the pop -- and -- oh, and there it is, this fool knows what's up. ( laughter ) i get it they want to make the olympics more interesting, but you don't have to add new sports. there are too many sports. just take the sports you already have and add the word "death" to the name. now i'm watching everything. death. i don't care about luge. but death luge? i'm in! death hurdles, you kidding? death javelin? who's gonna die? and death curling, i'm waiting to see what the brooms are for. are you shitting me? this is a story that affected me personally, i've lived in new york city for almost four

years, and you know what i love about this amazing city is how multicultural it is. you can bring your own everything to this place -- your own music, your own language, your own style -- and there will be space for it. but one thing new yorkers will not tolerate is you messing with their food. >> hold the cream cheese and lay off the lox, a bagelgate controversy exploded on social media. >> a st. louis man is taking seriously heat for having his bagels sliced a little differently. he brought the bagels for his office and had them sliced vert schi like bread. he said it was a hit. some called it criminal. the chief says it would never happen in new york city. >> trevor: are you kidding me? you know what? as a new yorker who's adopted this city, this boils my blood! come on, man! you don't bread slice bagel.

what, do you eat pizza with a knife and fork as well? you seat sushi with your ass? what are you doing? there's only one proper way to eat a bagel and you know it because you're new yorkers. i don't need to tell you this. for everyone else out there, simple, when eating a bagel, you've got your bagel, your lox and your cream cheese, that's what you've got. then what you do is you try and put everything in the blender -- ( audience reacts ) -- so you put the cream cheese in the blender with the lox as well and then you get the bagel in there, there we go, like that -- i know what you're thinking, yeah, that looks a little dry -- that's why i add a lot of soy sauce. ( audience reacts ) but not too much. ( laughter ) just one bottle. okay? and then what you do is make sure you've got all that in and you just blend that really tougt it's great. it's delicious. you get that really chunky.

oh, yeah. yeah! yeah! there we go, and that's how you make -- ( audience reacts ) mmm! mmm! mmm! that's how you make a new york bagel baby! let's move on to today's top story! ( cheers and applause ) mmm! mmm! just had a so i burp. mmm! the college admissions scandal. for the past few weeks the whole country has been rocked by the news hundreds of parents have been accused of bribing their kids' way into america's elite colleges and also u.s.c. ( laughter ) now some people involved are beginning to face the consequences. >> this morning, word of new investigation, while the first wave of defendants charged in the scheme appeared in court, coaches charged with taking bribes, test proctors accused of

helping wealthy students cheat on admissions tests, facing federal charges in bonls. >> yale announced monday it rescinded acceptance of one student linked to the scandal. >> u.s.c. says it may expel students connected to the college admissions bribery scandal. >> trevor: yes the coaches who helped the parents in the scam are facing major jail time of course they're going to get caught. when the water polo coach shows up in a bentley, questions. there are people who feel bad for the kids who did nothing wrong because now they might get kicked out of college because of what their parents did. the truth is, it's sad but it does make sense. it doesn't really matter if the kids didn't know their parents bribed their way in, the point is they got into the school under false pretenses, all right. i mean, if tinder puts chris helmsworth's photo on your profile, people will swipe right but can't blame them if they bail out.

oooh, not what i was promised. but i didn't know. yeah, but i know! ( laughter ) the college admission scandal brought up a wider conversation about a couple of things, for instance, what's going to happen to "fuller house" without aunt becky? they don't need her, if you ask me, the house was already too full. a larger conversation, how some parents are so obsessed with giving their kids an easy life they're willing to do anything. this kind of parenting is a growing trend. >> in the wake of the college admissions scandal, there's been a lot of discussion about overparenting. well, say hello to snow plow parents, moms and dads determined to clear any obstacle from their child's path. >> according to a recent "new york times" consult poll, 76% of parents have reminded their adult children of deadlines including for school work and 15% say they have called or texted their college students to wake them up for their classes. >> one more stat from that. 11% of parents with adult

children would call their child's employer if he or she had an issue at work. >> trevor: no, no, no, no. there are parents out there who are calling their adult children's bosses if there's an issue? those are two people who should never be interacting with each other, all right? a parent talking to a boss is so crazy that it's not even a combination in the porn world. do you understand that? huh? ( laughter ) do you understand that? and they have every combination. they've got teacher student, they've got pool boy-housewife, dad-baby sitter, astronaut-baby sitter, pool boy-astronaut, but never been a porno where, my son needs a standing desk in his office and i'm not taking no for an answer. ( laughter ) that's not a thing! if you thought examples of snow plow parents were weerksd wait till you hear how far one parent went to shield her kid from

something scarier than missing class, wet food. >> an anecdote in the "new york times," one girl child did not like to eat sauce with her food, so her entire life her parents helped her avoid sauce -- tomato sauce, ketchup, mustard, all of that. they even called their friends' houses before dinner to make sure there was no sauce available. >> if the girl was going over. >> if she was going over. when she went to college, she didn't know how to cope with the cafeteria options of -- sauce. so she ended up dropping out of school. ( laughter ) >> trevor: i don't even know where to begin with this one. you dropped out of college because of sauce? that was youonrn at college? everyone else at school is, like, impeach trump! abolish i.c.e.! and this girl is off to the side, like, and what about sauce?! dry food matters! dry food matters! maybe just sit this one out,

megan. ( laughter ) like, i've heard of people being picky about food, but no sauce is just so broad. like, what does that mean? no tomato sauce? no gravy? no condiments? are you okay with guacamole? hummus, is that sauce? can you moisturize? ( laughter ) no, because, i mean, lotion is basically just sauce for your skin. i mean -- so, look, this whole snow plow parent thing is pretty bizarre, and you might be wondering what kind of parents would do such crazy things for their kids? well, we were wondering that, too. so here at "the daily show," we decided to make a documentary to find out who the parents are. >> i'm arnold. >> we're snow plow parents. >> we try to clear obstacles or challenges that might be in the way of our precious boy billy. >> i knew he was special from the moment he stopped wearing diapers at age 5. we just want his life to be perfect so we fix all his

problems before he even realizes it's a problem. >> whether buying him instagram followers, paying a cheerleadern beating up potential bullies before he gets to school. >> hey, you're a bully? >> huh? >> aaahhh! i love my son. >> i'm not going to lie, it's hard keeping up with it especially since he's older but it got easier since we quit our jobs. >> what's the hardest thing he had to do? >> he still doesn't know his grandma died last year. tough keeping that ruse going. >> hello, billy? it's your very much alive grandmother. >> by the way, thanks for putting me in this awesome documentary about gifted teenagers. >> oh, no, no, this documentary is about snow plow kids. >> what? >> whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! >> trevor: michael kosta and

desi lydic, everybody! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) so, you're open all day, that's what 24/7 means, sugar. kind of like how you get 24/7 access to licensed agents with geico. hmm? yeah, you just go online, or give them a call anytime. you don't say. yep. now what will it take to get 24/7 access to that lemon meringue pie? pie! pie's coming! that's what it takes, baby. geico®. great service from licensed agents, 24/7.

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♪ i spell m-a-n, man, aww, man ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." as we come to the end of women's history month, we have to ask ourselves, have we closed the wage gap, have we broken the glass ceiling or torn down the patriarchy. the answer is yes. what's that? no, no. i'm being told, no, we've not done any of those things, as desi lydic reports, another issue to add to the list. >> being a woman can cost you, $1,400 a year according to gender price discrimination. >> if you're a woman, just about

everything cost you more than similar products marketed for men. >> it's called the pink tax. i needed to investigate by testing some products. but i wasn't going to fall victim to price discrimination by actually paying for them. two razors, one blue, one pink. otherwise identical. does the pink one give a silkier shave? only one way to find out. ( laughter ) >> what? i'm a full-time working mom. what do you expect? ( laughter ) ♪ >> exactly the same. could this be an isolated case? i continued my vsmghts we need a patriarchy cleanup in aisle 13. >> two painkillers, one market for lady cramps. question is, which one is more

effective? ( laughter ) just as i thought. same active ingredient. this is bullshit. why do products cost more for women than men? >> classic market easter eggs where they call shrink it and pink it. >> i had that surgery. >> that's not what we're talking about. we r we're saying the company will take the basic version and market it toward women, they'll make it smaller, pink. >> same thing. >> basic economics 101, goes to the bottom line. >> the whole point of the surgery, went to the bottom line. >> jackie spear, congresswoman, has been fighting gender discrimination for over 20 years. >> get rid of the gender tax. women on the average pay $5 more for a haircut than does a man. >> they should be paying you to get those haircuts, but that's not the point. >> the pink tax is an insidious institution in america and, mind you, women are still making 80 cents for every dollar earned by a man to do the same job. and if you're a woman of color,

you're making even less money. >> i ran the numbers and overcharged plus underpaid equals a square root of what the (~bleep )! aaahhh! it's unfair. when someone has blue eyes, everyone falls inov love with them. get pink eye once, kicked out to have the neighbor's hot tub. it's 3:00 in the morning, what are theying using it for? >> women are discriminated against with services as well. >> haircuts, tailoring, dry cleaning. >> research is shown women pay more than men 42% of the time and starts from the time you're born till the day you die. as displayed in some of these products we have with us today, and a game we call -- >> sorry, you're a woman. >> $32 to $44. while your little girl is learning how to walk she'll also learn how to navigate the system that's exploiting her.

sorry. >> two children's snorkels. $8.84. $16.22 for the pink. women literally have to pay more to breathe. sorry. >> 28 women's diapers for $15.98. but the men get 32 diapers for the same amount of money. >> this is why i stopped pooping. and just like me, this system is full of shivment how can women afford to live in this world? >> if a man's version is cheaper, buy that one. >> sure. if you think about it, it's just one extra step in a series of extra steps that women take every day to thrive in a man's world, like how we get up a little extra early in the morning to put on an outfit that looks professional, accessible but not too accessible because we don't want to be taken advantage of, or how we walk an extra five blocks to work to avoid the construction zone because men like to tell us to smile more. when we get to work, we want to make our voices heard but in a way that's helpful and strong

without overbearing or shrill. we do all of this without even an ounce of resentment because resentment causes wrinkles and society does not value aging women. is there a men's wrinkle cream you can recommend? >> yes, there are several. >> i'm sure it costs less. >> maybe a little. >> there's got to be a better solution. >> i'm introducing the pink tax repeal act. we have got to get the federal government to protect women from this gross discrimination. >> that's right. spear is ready to give the pink tax some blue balls. but why stop there? >> i think there has to be an outrage. women should say, why is this more? this is discrimination. i'm going to call corporate. >> got it. be outraged, make our voices heard, take it into our own hands. until the repeal of the pink tax gets passed, i'm going to make up for all the shit we paid for

with the help of my little pink friend. ♪ ♪ perfect. giving women their money back one item at a time. we'll call it debby's dick tax, strong enough for a man but priced just for her. ♪ >> trevor: desi lydic, everyone! we'll be right back. to simone, i leave the van gogh.

to harrison, the wine collection. to craig, this rock. the redwoods to the redheads. the rainbows to the proud. i leave these things to my heirs, all 39 million of you, on one condition. that you do everything in your power to preserve and protect them. with love, california.

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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is an academy-award winning actor who currently stars in the number one movie in the country, "us." >> you know how sometimes things line up? >> yeah. >> like coincidences. since we have been here, they have been happening more and more. i think -- i feel like it means that she's getting closer. >> who? the mirror girl? >> you don't believe me. >> i -- i do. i do. i'm processing. okay? >> trevor: please welcome lupita nyong'o! ( cheers and applause ) ♪

>> trevor: welcome back to the show. >> thank you very much. >> trevor: and welcome to the biggest movie in america. this is, like, a run that you are having. "black panther" and now "us." how does it feel? >> it feels really good. i won't lie. ( laughter ) >> trevor: as it should. i mean, "us" has really done amazing. i'm not giving away any of the plot that's not in the trailer, but basically we see this family, you know, it's yourself and winston duke and you have your kids and you're on this vacation and then there's another version of you that shows up. >> mm-hmm. >> trevor: which is one of the most terrifying things. >> mm-hmm. >> trevor: is you looking at you like the dark side of you. >> mm-hmm. >> trevor: there's a very powerful message just in that moment in the film. >> it's about the duality of human nature. we all have a darkness inside of us that we often suppress, and

when it goes unattended to, unacknowledged, it can sometimes rear its ugly head and actually be destructive to us and the world. >> trevor: right. >> adelaide is convinced something bad is about to happen and is proven right when these doppelgangers show up and ruin her life. >> trevor: i don't know if mine want to kill me. i feel like if there was an evil trevor, it would be like, hey, trev! trev! ( laughter ) i don't know, i feel like we would get along. one of my favorite moments i had in the movie, we were standing in the cinema, and we're lining up to get our statistics, and i overhear one of the people say, wow, what's the line for? and one of the people in the cinema says, oh, that's for "us." and then the guy replies, is that, like, a black horror movie? what do you mean black horror movie? but i understood what he was saying. some people think the film is, like, black scary or scary, but

it's not, it's just a story with a black family and it's scary. >> right. and we have black characters at the center and they represent human beings. they represent all-american qualities. >> trevor: right. >> and it's a novelty to have a black family at the center of a horror film, but their blackness is not in question. it's actually just quite unremarkable. what's remarkable is the circumstances they find themselves in. and there's the duality even nu the title of this film, it's "us." when that person said it's for "us," it seems in that moment that that person who's asking is not included. >> trevor: right. >> and that's what this film is about. it's about if there's an us, there's a them, and what happens when we separate ourselves from eachouter. >> trevor: it's a powerful film, it's doing amazing numbers for a good reason. it has people freaked out. you have now done action and horror and drama which means next up is going to be a musical. i'm excited for you! ( cheers and applause ) lupita nyong'o, everybody!

"us" is in theaters right now! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) thank you so much. ♪ t-mobile is always happy to see you. when you join t-mobile you get two lines of unlimited with two of the latest phones included for just one hundred bucks a month.

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heyyyyy! ♪ it's the little things that make life rich. ritz. wwith your man cave.?! is that a sabertooth tiger over there? no, it's mr. pickles using the box. crawl out of your cave. get to b-dubs. order beers and crush all the wings. that's! march! madness! buffalo wild wings. roaarrr! ing ] wake up! hey jordan... move! that's what happens when people don't eat carbs. they start seeing satan. where you always this mean? i wish you were little. [ screaming ] where are my boobs? i paid fifteen g's for those things. child protective services. where is your father now? in hawaii. that's president barack obama. they think we all look alike. oh! what is this? the kids menu. would you like this kids foot up your... uh, uh... ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: well, that's our show for tonight!

thank you so much for tuning in. now here it is... your moment of zen. >> check this out caught on camera. strong winds literally carrying a man away as he tries to prevent a large outdoor umbrella from flying away. this is in turkey. up, up and away with the winds go here. ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪