i thought being a victim would solve all my problems. but being a victim has a downside, too. mr. galtman, i haven't been honest. it's time for us all to be honest. what is a holiday? it's a day off work, yes, a day off school. but holidays are also meant to be a time to reflect. today, i'm happy to announce that the school calendar committee is reinstating the day off. [ cheers and applause ] but instead of glorifying anyone, let us make it a holiday about the negative feelings that we all sometimes feel, say what we're really thinking so we can move on. and so, the second monday of october will still be a holiday. but instead of columbus day, it will be for ripping on each other and tearing each other down, and we will call it indigenous peoples day. for, perhaps, if we all do it at the same time, we won't be so indigenous the rest of the year.

and since this is the second monday of october, let's all embrace the new meaning of the holiday starting right now. do you even know what indigenous means, you frickin' idiot? that's the spirit, dave! come on! everybody, let's just all be totally indigenous! come on! who the hell let this guy talk to the school counsel? good one, kurt. your wife's a whore. come on, everyone! indigenous peoples day! let's go for it! woman: shut up, and get off the podium! okay. i will in a second, fatso. all right. who else? come on! get it out of your system! happy indigenous peoples day, everyone. suck my asshole. >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," everybody! thank you so much for tuning in and thank you for coming out!

( cheers and applause ) i'm trevor noah! good to have you here! our guest tonight -- our guest tonight, you know and love her from "orange is the new black" and, now, she's appearing in "shakespeare in the park" here in new york city. danielle brooks is on the show, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) also, on tonight's show, all 400 democrats go to iowa. ( laughter ) the "lion king" happens in real life, and donald trump gets mexico to deport themselves. so let's catch up on today's headlines. let's begin in hong kong. the former british colony and world's third most popular congress. ever since the city was returned to chinese rule, residents have been worried they would lose their democratic rights and now their fears seem to be coming true. >> growing fear and outrage against china "shakespeare in the parking" the biggest protest hong kong has seen in years.

protesters calling for further demonstrations after hundreds of thousands jammed the streets over controversial bill to allow criminal suspects in hong kong to be sent to mainland china. the number is at more than a million. nearly one-seventh of hong kong's population. >> trevor: yesterday nearly 1 million people protested in the streets of hong kong. that's impressive. look how many people that is. that looks like all the people who didn't show up to trump's inauguration. that's insane. and the reason a million people came out is to try to send china a message. unfortunately, the only country not impressed by a million people is china. ( laughter ) yeah because they're, like, how cute. you had a million people at your march? my son had a million people at his birthday and he's not even popular! ( laughter ) i get it. going to jail in china is no joke. of course you would rather be tried and sent to jail in hong kong.

ereminds me of when your mom would be, like, wait until your father gets home. you would be, like, no, we handle this year, you punish me. you're not going to extradite this ass to dad. no! ( laughter ) in other news, president obama, is the ex america can't stop thinking about but he's moved on. >> spotify. >> michelle obama and michelle obama are going to produce and lend their voices to podcasts on a wide range of topics. a major win for spotify. the announcement comes on the hills of similar agreements that the obamas did sign with netflix as well. >> trevor: that's right, barack obama is making his own podcasts. and it must be really strange for obama's facebook friends to watch his career go in reverse because nine years ago it was, hey guys, check out my inauguration. now it's, hey, everyone, please subscribe to my podcast!

if you do, you better have a lot of free time because that man does not talk fast. ( laughter ) yeah, his podcast is going to be like, aaahhhhhh... hello. aaaaaaaaahhhhh... and we're out of time. ( laughter ) and now, everyone supes the podcast will be about politics but they said a wide range of topics. what a.p. about pop culture. robert pattinson will be the new batman. i'll give it a chance. see if new video of dabbi on the security camera? creeped me out. that show was creepy. ( laughter ) finally, news out of south africa. >> officials in south africa warning residents to be on alert, after 14 lions escaped from one of africa's largest game reserves, happened at the pride krueger park on thursday. researchers planned to release the lions back into the park

after they have been captured. >> trevor: stories like this really piss me off because, as a south african, i get asked dumb questions about where i'm from. people are, like, do you have guys have, like, lions running around? now i have to be, like, yes, we do. you are very well informed, we do. ( laughter ) i'm so mad at these lions. this is the kind of shit we try to play down in affect and they're ruining it for everybody. like if you are from florida and got car jacked by an alligator. come on, man! what better than this! the stereotypes! i don't want understand why the south african officials admitted this happened. i don't care if it's true, they should have just lied. just lied. like they should have said, no, the lions didn't escape, they're just out swraiting pride month. yeah! it works! it works! yeah! they're pride. it's pride. they're out. that's the thing. oh, or they could have said they let the lions out to promote the new lion king movie.

and even if the lion kills someone the whole country could have kept the lion going. they should have said, oh, the lion is eating me! no -- ♪ it's the circle of life let's move on to the top story. ( cheers and applause ) joe biden. former president and barack obama's token white friend. ( laughter ) since entering the democratic race, he has been cruising if first place in the polls. but lately, things haven't been going smoothly. >> we have breaking news this hour on joe biden's new reversal on abortion funding. >> the pivot came amid an intense wave of pressure from his 2020 rivals, abortion rights activists and some within his own campaign. for decades, biden, a devout catholic backed the amendment. >> i think the vice president has been very consistent over his career since '76 when the hyde amendment became law, that

he is a deeply religious man -- >> 24 hours later, that reversal came. biden campaign officials incest he did not make this decision on political backlash. he heard the argument and decided to change course based on merits of that argument. >> trevor: man, this does not look good for joe biden. for decades, he supported a law that banned federal funding for abortions, which especially hurt poor women and women of color. then last month, he says he doesn't support that law anymore. then he flips and says he does support it. now because of pressure he says he doesn't support the law. i haven't seen that many flips since dolphins got the cocaine. biden said he supported the anti-abortion law because of his religious views. some people say he flip-flopped opened religions as well. in his defense, god flip-flops all the time. yoirl first born son.

thou shalt not kill. i'll kill my first born son, yeah, yeah. the rest of the democrats are figuring out how to take his spot at the feevmentd 19 democrats descended on iowa to make the case why they would be a better pick than the form vp. let's catch up in another installment of world war d. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ iowa! it's not just the place you move to after you faked your death. ( laughter ) it's also the first state to vote in the democratic primaries. so this weekend, practically every democrat was there fishing for votes. >> on the ground in iowa this weekend, an all out blitz. ( audience chanting ) 19 of the democratic candidates swarming the hawkeye state. >> in battleground iowa 19 democrats lining up, each getting 5 months make their pitch.

>> it's been a pleasure speed dating with you do not. ( laughter ) if you want a second date, go to tim ryan for america.com. ( laughter ) >> trevor: oh, man, i wish actual first dates ended with someone saying that. if you want to learn more about me, please visit my web site. you can read my ten-point plan on making you orgasm as well as my one-point plan on making me orgasm. thank you. thank you very much. thank you. ( applause ) that's right, this sunday was jam packed testimony entire event, 19 candidates, and they all had five minutes each to speak. which is kind of crazy. five minutes is not enough time to make your case, all right? it's barely enough time to make a lean cuisine, unless you do what i do and just eat it frozen. there's nothing more refreshing than ice cold shrimp alfredo on a hot day. don't try it. with only five minutes to make

an impression, all the democrats took to the stage to deliver their best punch lines. >> the opposite of donald trump is an asian man who likes math. thank you very much, iowa! >> i am your senator next door and i can see iowa from my porch. >> look at that show that this president's created, whatever you want to call it, reality show, horror show, game show, help me! >> claims to be the best president we've seen in a generation. let's call barack obama because that's identity fraud. >> i will always be real with you. i will be bold without the bold. ( laughter ) >> trevor: wow. that was a lot of silence. he, like, said it and everyone was just like, you -- are you -- like, from now on librarians aren't going to shush people, they will just play that clip of

eric swalwell. and andrew i can't think, good line, but donald trump isn't the opposite of an asian man who likes math. it's a mexican woman who likes her children. ( applause ) now, if you're a candidate who only has a few minutes to connect with the crowd, you've got to make every moment count, which means picking walk-on music that's tell us a bit about who you are. please note, this is actual real audio, all right. this is real audio from when each candidate walked up on stage. >> please welcome senator kamala harris. ♪ ♪ >> senator bernie sanders. ♪ >> elizabeth warren. ♪ nine to five, what a way to make a living ♪

♪ barely getting by, it's all taking and no giving ♪ >> ladies anladies and gentlemee welcome congressman tim ryan. ♪ ain't nobody tell me nothing >> thank you. ( laughter ) >> trevor: what? old town road? that's your walk-on song in are you running for president or trying to go viral on tick tock? what are you doing? don't get me wrong, i love that song, but old town road doesn't make you souped like a professional anything. like, if i walked in on my accountant and he was playing that song while doing my taxes, i would be like, uh, i'll take my chances with the i.r.s. ( laughter ) giving a politician only five minutes for a speech is not enough. it's like telling a vegan they can only post ten times a day online about how they're vegan. and because the organizers knew all politicians would go over their time, they took a page from the oscars and used music

to mangkhut them off. >> as a new yorker anyone who doesn't have insurance has health care. ♪ >> or planet and country, no obstacle we can't overcome. ♪ ♪ >> and where we finally put an the public theater's free "shakespeare in the park" production of "much ado about nothing" runs through june 23rd and "orange is the new black" returns for its final season on netflix july 26th to sexism, racism, homophobia and religious bigotry, thank you all very much. ♪ >> trevor: bernie sanders is a legend. he's louder than any music you can play over him. ( laughter ) when it comes to bernie, he plays the music off. sno♪ la, la, carry on. i bet when he calls the music on his neighbors for playing music too loudly, they call the police on him for speaking too loud. 911, operator! the operators wake up, bernie needs me!

bernie needs me! the music was too inspirational. if you want to mangkhut democrats off and get them off stage. you can't make music that makes them sound like giving a speech to a rousing football team. you have to play music nobody wants to be associated with. like r. kelly. or that cover album bill cosby did of r. kelly songs. ( laughter ) after a weekend of campaigning in iowa. all we've learned about the democratic candidates is how bad they are at telling jokes and what their favorite songs are on spotify, and that's it. unfortunately, that's what you're going to get when you have two dozen people running for president. every event will be about sound bytes and catchy lines. when that happens, no one wins. the candidates don't win and the voters don't win because you near to informed. the only thing that's good about this weekend is for a weekend it doubled the number of black people in iowa. that's it.

so look, look -- ( cheers and applause ) if these democratic candidates want to be making an impact with what they're saying, here's what they need to do -- you've got to focus -- ♪ -- you've got to connect with the people -- ♪ we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ here i go again on my own ♪ goin' down the only road i've ever known ♪ ♪ like a-- ♪ drifter i was ♪born to walk alone! you're a drifter? i thought you were kevin's dad. little bit of both. if you ride, you get it.

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♪i want it that way ♪i want it that way the original, now it's hot. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." trump versus mexico. last week, the battle over immigration escalated when trump threatened to impose tariffs on

mexico, and even cancel taco tuesdays. ( audience reacts ) crazy the constitution gives him that power. luckily, over the weekend, this happened. >> no monday morning tariffs on mexico. after president trump clinched an 11th hour immigration deal for tougher enforcement, tweeting there is now going to be greater cooperation between mexico and the u.s. >> president trump announcing that the u.s. and mexico reached an agreement averting a potential economic crisis. >> trevor: yes! crisis averted! thank you trump. you realize this could have tanked the stock market, seriously hurt the u.s. economy, but trump stopped it from happening! and yes he was the one who caused the crisis to begin with, but that's not the point! ( applause ) that's right! give it up for trump! yeah! that's what i love about this guy. anyone can be a good guy, anyone can be a bad guy. not everyone can be both, huh? he's bruce willis and the guys

taking the building hostage. that's who he is. he's the kind of guy who starts the timer on the bomb and then, jesus, this sicko only gave us three minutes, we've got to get out of here. why did you set the bomb in the first place? it's called tension, folks! ( laughter ) as part of the new deal, trump says mexico is going to increase troops at the border, crack down on human smu smuggling and throm that quinceañera he's been asking for! ( speaking spanish ) ( laughter ) the point is, trump made a deal. the only thing, is it may not actually be a new deal. >> despite president trump touting agreement as a "new deal," just how new the terms are, that's up for debate. the "new york times" reports that mexico had previously agreed to deploy its national guard during high-level secret talks back in march. >> trevor: this is just

straight-up hating for the "new york times," focusing on when the deal was actually made. who cares if trump's new deal is actually an old deal. the point is it happened. when did it happen? "new york times" reminds me of my landlord. always focusing on "when i paid the rent." trevor, when are you going to pay the rent? i paid you last month! is this going to happen every month? i feel like this is black mail. who cares if trump is taking an old deal and pretending it's new. it's what holiday has been doing for years. alladen, pet cemetery, dumb bo, it always works. not always, last time i pitched my last at the truss movie starring the rock, and stephen speilberg told me to "get outof his bedroom," whatever that means. ( laughter ) why would trump cancel his tariffs if mexico didn't give him anything new? or bob it's because things at home were getting mui caliente.

>> the white house faced tough business because of this. a closed door meeting on tuesday. a couple of trump officials tried to lay out the president's view but faced brutal pushback from the gob g.o.p., saying they could face an overturn the tariffs. >> trevor: trump was threatening mexico. mexico threatening business, the businesses threatening g.o.p., and the g.o.p. threatening trump. he was going to lose this. never get into a standoff with actual makes cans. it's too risky. french people french kissing will bust that tongue through the back of your head. you can't risk that! >> one thing, a secret -- >> president trump saying a secret part of the deal hasn't been announced, tweeting the

u.s. has a fully signed and documented part of the deal with mexico that will be revealed in the not too distant future. >> trevor: oooh! a secret deal! ( laughter ) so exciting. ( laughter ) like i wonder what it is, huh? ah, what if america is making mexico the 51st state. folks, they can't sneak into the country if they're already in the country, problem solved! i get it! i get it! yeah! ( applause ) i also love how trump provided zero details about this deal. man. he knows the best way to ep ties someone is to keep it vague. he probably learned that from r&b singers, yeah, because they don't tell you exactly what they do. they just give it to you, like, girl, well, you know that thing you want? well i'm going to give it to you. what is that? well, i ain't gonna tell you,

girl, but you're gonna find it out. and then when you do, oooh, oooh! well, when are you going to give it to me? i don't, girl, damn who are you? my landlord? calm down! we'll be right back! we'll be right back! pieces or cups? pieces or cups? pieces or cups? pieces in cups! man, we're killing it over here, huh? not sorry. reese's.

masometimes yourng whenlast miller lite...out, has a way of becoming your second to last. miller lite. hold true. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a tony award-nominated actor you know from "orange is the new black."

she's currently starring in the public theater's free "shakespeare in the park" production of "much ado about nothing." please welcome danielle brooks! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> oh, wow! i need to come here every day! whoo! you show so much love! >> trevor: this is the best audience, are you kidding me? >> they are! ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to the show! and congratulations on everything that is happening. we're going final season of "orange is the new black." >> i know. >> trevor: you've got a music video that came out which was amazing, by the way. you directed it. >> yes. >> trevor: it's phenomenal, such a beautiful song. on top of that, you're doing "shakespeare in the park." "orange is the new black," first. final season. >> final season, are you watching? >> trevor: is it bittersweet?

>> are you watching? >> trevor: i'm going to binge. >> good. >> trevor: it must be bittersweet because it's been such a huge part of your life, and this is it. >> it's been seven or eight years for me. i was 22 when i started, i'm about to be 30 now. it completely changed my life as an actor, an activist, as a human being. >> trevor: right. >> so i owe the writer so much. i'm so grateful that the world has fallen in love with tasty, and has fallen in love with me and allowed me to be myself, truly be myself through this character. >> trevor: that's beautiful. >> so i'm going to miss her, but it's time to go. >> trevor: i think we're going to miss her, but we're going to love traveling with you on your upcoming journeys. >> yeah. >> trevor: you are multi-talented. >> thank you. >> trevor: music, acting, directing, doing everything is in your future. "shakespeare in the park" is something i wouldn't have expected because you had movie

offers. >> oh, yeah. >> trevor: and you were, like, no, i'm going to go do a free production in the park. >> i know. for nothing, jesus. ( laughter ) >> trevor: why? >> um, because i didn't know if this opportunity would ever come again gwen in my career, to play beatrice, to play the lead. the movie was a great movie but i wasn't the lead. i have to a rom-com, and now i get to be in another rom-com, speaking spak shakespeare, showg people i know what i'm doing, and to give an opportunity to young girls who look like me who say, yes, you can be dark skinned and think honey size 16, and you can do this, you can be a beatrice. and, so, that's why i took it, for no money. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: people are loving your performance. people are raving about the production. it's in the park.

it's a different world because i mean, like, there are some days where it rains. what do you do when it rains. >> oh, my gosh, we perform in the rain. >> trevor: you're not covered. >> no, no covering for us or the audience. it's an 1,800 seat house. at least 1,000 people are still there to watch this show. >> trevor: that's amazing. >> it's crazy. it actually fuels us. because people are so hyped and coming to see us. and we're, like, y'all don't want to go home? ( laughter ) and they're so ready to hear the story, so you have to deliver everything you've got. there's bugs, there's raccoons. yes. ( laughter ) it's a world of wonder out there. ( laughter ) but it's been fun. i wouldn't have tak taken it bak for the world. >> trevor: shakespeare is one of the hardest things to perform, though. it's the language, everybody knowing it so well. was in i of that daunting at all? >> no, it's just getting the

opportunity, because you know you have it within you, right? >> trevor: right. >> so to tell the story, it's set in 2020, a small town outside or around atlanta, georgia. so i'm from south carolina. i just get to unpoll jetcally be who i am. if i am saying, oh, lord, he's going to hang upon him like a disease, i would be like, lord, hang upon him like a disease! so make it relatable. >> trevor: it's shakespeare, it's now, it's you. >> it's black! ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: where do you go from here? i know you're actually going to the show. where else do you go from here? what are your dreams and where do you want to see yourself headed? >> i want to do those things that surprise people like yourself. i didn't know you were going to go do shakespeare next. i want that to be every inch of my career where people say, wow, i didn't know she was going to do that.

i want to be one of the best actors known to this generation. >> trevor: that's going to happen. it's amazing. the public theater's free shakespeare in the parks "much ado about nothing"! "orange is the new black" returns, danielle brooks, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) yesterday the beatles vanished from the world. do you genuinely not know who the beatles are?

genuinely. is this the insect beetles or the car beetles? [ "hey jude" by the beatles ] today only jack... i've got a bunch of new songs. will bring back their music. what's this one called? "leave it be" "let it be" i'm just listening to jack's new song. "let him be" "let it be"

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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: all right, that's our show for tonight. thank you so much for tuning in. here it is now, your moment of zen. >> the friendship treatment do you remember this? planted by president trump and french president emmanuel macron