no... you need to know something, heidi... none of this is your fault. but i'm the one who-- no. heidi, none of this isyourfault. there's stuff i never told you. it's time... it's time i did. [ doorbell rings ] hey. hey! you all set to go? i wanted to talk to you first. okay, sure. kyle, i've been under a lot of stress lately, and it was all making me really confused. yeah, that's understandable. i was being manipulated, and i didn't even see it. i never do. and... i don't think you saw it either, kyle. what do you mean? i've come to realize that it's not my fault, it'syourfault, kyle. you made all this happen. made me question who i was -- but, heidi, i thought--

shh. but it's okay. you can't help it. it's how you were raised... what you were taught. my heritage is irish, so i'm prone to being moody. and you're heritage... well, you know... you can be a little sneaky sometimes and not even realize it. i'm sorry, kyle, but... everybody's trying to live life the best they can. it's hard enough without your people always trying to get ahead. dude... did she just call me a dirty jew? ♪ happy anniversary to you... cha, cha, cha. ♪ happy anniversary to you... cha, cha, cha. ♪ happy anniversary, mr. president... ♪ ♪ happy anniversary to you [ applause ] congratulations, mr. president. looks like many more years of the same are to come.

oh, i don't think so... i think the next three years are going to be even better. [ laughs ] [ nervous laughter ] captioning sponsored by comedy central news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome to the "the daily show," everybody. thank you so much for tuning in. thank you for coming out. yeah! i'm trevor noah. our guest tonight, our guest tonight stars in the new movie "men in black: international," tessa thompson is here, everybody! ( cheers and applause )

so excited for that! also on tonight's show, biden and trump go head to head. you can now uber in the sky. and the u.s. women's soccer team is under fire for being too good. so, let's catch up on today's headlines. let's kick it off with some international news. you may remember last year, french president emmanuel macron and president trump were besties. they attended events together, they shared secret handshakes, and macron even gave trump a friendship tree as a symbol of how their friendship would grow and prosper for many years to come. well, a year later, the relationship has soured. and get this: the tree died. ( laughter ) but macron, being french, refuses to give up on love. >> president trump is set to receive a new friendship tree from french president emmanuel macron. macron promised to send the new oak tree after the tree he gave him during last year's state

visit died. he says the death of the tree does not symbolize the topsy-turvy relationship between the two countries. >> trevor: un-uh, macron. you said that tree was a metaphor, so then it's a metaphor. yeah. you can't now say the tree was just a tree. that's not how symbols work. it's like in grade school, when you and your best friend get friendship bracelets, yeah, and 10 years later, he's not wearing it because he got married and his wife thinks it's weird. you know what's weird, kevin? you deserting your best friend! ( laughter ) and, yeah, it is a little sad the friendship tree died, but at the same time, it did last longer than most people do in trump's white house. so that's impressive. ( cheers and applause ) yeah, give it up for that tree. i bet-- i bet this time macron's going to give trump better instructions on how to keep the tree alive. he's going to be like, "okay, this time, donald, you must use water, not diet coke, okay? ( laughter ) and real sunlight. the tanning bed is not enough, all right?" and trump's like, "i was so good to that tree.

it ate exactly what i eat-- three cheeseburgers a day." "please, donald, if you don't look after the tree and care for it, it will die." "that's what they said about eric, but it didn't work. he's still here!" also, why is macron giving trump another tree? you know it's just going to die again. he should give trump something simple, something easy to take care of, like a friendship rock. ( laughter ) although, knowing trump, i wouldn't be shocked if he found a way to kill that, too. "i don't know what happened. i came outside, and it was just dust. it was dust!" in other news, as the debate over abortion rights rages on in america, things have gotten a little testy on capitol hill. >> it is tiring to hear from so many sex-starved males on this floor talk about a woman's right to choose.

>> mr. speaker, i would just like to ask my friend if she would like to change her last-- her last statement. >> if it pleases my colleague on the other side, i will withdraw my statement about sex-starved males on the floor. ( laughter ) >> trevor: goddam! all right, that was gangster. that was really gangster. because those guys are so mad, but they don't know what to do. "mr. speaker let the record show that i smash, i smash." i actually feel bad for those guys because it's a trap, right. you don't know what to do. if you don't get mad, it looks like she's telling the truth about your sex life. but if you get mad, it looks like she hit a sore spot. like, what do you do? ( laughter ) although, it would be funny if this whole thing ended up with republican congressmen testifying about how much sex they have. i'm just waiting for mitch mcconnell to come out on c-span: "i bust a nut in the morning. and for good measure, i bust a nut at night, too." and, finally, in tech news, the future of ride sharing has arrived.

>> uber is taking its ride-sharing service to new heights with uber air. on tuesday, the company unveiled its first electric aircraft prototype, a helicopter-plane hybrid that can take off and land from a pad and fly 150 miles per hour. >> trevor: wow! uber is taking it to the next level. and you know what? this makes sense. because whenever i'm in an uber and the driver is swerving around through traffic yelling at other drivers while talking on his phone, i always think, "man, i wish we could do this 10,000 feet in the sky." ( laughter ) i also don't see how flying cars will work with uber pool. are the drivers going to be like, "this is your stop!" "aaaaah!" i guess on the bright side, uber air will have a much simpler rating system, right. it's either five stars or you're dead. that's it. ( laughter ) but you know what, you know what, i shouldn't hate on them because it's actually already been really successful. in fact, here's a video of uber picking up their very first air customer.

( laughter ) yeah, that looks like fun. all right, that's it for the headlines. let's move on to our top story. ( cheers and applause ) donald trump. this has been a wild week for the trump presidency, making it the 124th wild presidency week in ary. it started with trump averting a crisis of his own making when deciding not to impose tariffs on mexico because he said he made a deal. however, critics pointed out that many of the things mexico promised to do to stop illegal immigration were the same promises they had made months before. but then trump came back saying that he had a secret deal with mexico, which no one believed. so yesterday he did this: >> do you have an agreement with mexico to become a safe third country for asylum seekers? >> can you show us? >> that's the agreement that everybody says i don't have.

so, no, because i'm going to let mexico do the announcement at the right time. for mexico, they want to go through it. but here's the agreement. it's a very simple agreement. ( laughter ) >> trevor: okay. okay. there are two possibilities here. ( laughter ) and neither of them are good. ( laughter ) either the president just whipped out a takeout menu and claimed it was a secret agreement with mexico-- which it could be-- or it's a real agreement, and the president is just walking around with secret documents in his pocket. ( laughter ) right, the same guy who was worried about hillary's server getting hacked by russians. meanwhile, he could get hacked by a gust of wind. ( laughter ) or even worse, a pigeon. he could be like, "here it is, the secret document that-- aaahhh! stop that pigeon! stop that pigeon! it's headed to the kremlin!" ( laughter ) keeping important documents in your jacket pocket is so risky because everyone forgets things

in that pocket. we've all done it. like, one day trump's dry cleaner is going to phone the white house like, "hey, mr. trump, you left the nuclear codes in your jacket again, and there's a lollipop in there, too." "oh, thank god! my lollipop." ( laughter ) so that was president trump showing off his secret agreement letter that he got from mexico. and i guess yesterday was mail day, because a few minutes later in the press conference, he was telling us about another letter he was even more proud of. >> for the first time since the failed hanoi summit, kim jong-un sent the president a letter yesterday, the president downplaying concerns about kim's recent missile tests. >> he kept his word. there's no nuclear testing. there's no large, you know, long-range missiles going up. so i see that, and i just received a beautiful letter from kim jong-un, and i think the relationship is very well, but i appreciated the letter. some day, you'll see what was in that letter. some day you'll be reading about it. maybe in 100 years from now, maybe in two weeks. who knows?

but it was a very nice letter. it was a very warm, very nice letter. i appreciated it. >> trevor: what? ( laughter ) "maybe 100 years from now, maybe two weeks"? the only other time you hear a time range that big is when you order a couch online. "yeah, i guess it will be arriving now or never." but that's pretty incredible. trump is willing to support kim jong-un because the north korean dictator sends him sweet notes. you know, if kim jong-un is smart, he would launch a missile at the united states, and then just send trump a letter at the exact same time to keep him distracted. an aide would run into the office, "mr. trump, kim jong-un has just fired--" "fired off a beautiful letter to me, i know." it's gorgeous." "no, this could devastate--" "devastate melania. don't tell her. don't worry. "no, people are dying"-- "dying to know what's in it. but i can't tell them. it's between me and-- goddamn you, pigeon! goddamn. how did it get back from the kremlin so fast?" ( laughter )

so donald trump has become good friends with mexico, and he's b.f.f. with little kim. but there's one feud the president is not willing to end, and it's with america's greatest enemy, "sleepy joe." >> well, i heard biden, who is a loser. i mean, look, joe never got more than 1%, except obama took him off the trash heap, and now it looks like he's failing. he looks different than he used to. he acts different than he used to. he's even slower than he used to be. i'd rather run against, i think, biden than anybody. i think he's the weakest mentally. and i like running against people that are weak mentally. i think joe is the weakest up here. >> trevor: really, donald? you want to compete with a mentally weak loser? then maybe you should hold a debate with a mirror. ( cheers and applause ) now, it's no coincidence that

trump is going after the former v.p. ever since the polls came out showing biden beating trump all over the country, trump has aimed all of his attacks directly at his number-one threat. and joe biden is loving it, because it's setting him up as the presumptive nominee, which is why yesterday in iowa, he delivered a 40-minute speech that was all about trump. >> i don't think the president really gets the-- gets the basics. he thinks these tariffs are being paid by china, just like he thinks mexico's building the wall. he thinks windmills cause cancer. now, look, you think i'm making this up, i know. quote, "i have complete power." no, you don't, donald trump. or, "only i can fix it!" fix yourself first, donald trump! ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: oh, okay, that was weird. i feel like joe biden turned black by the end of that speech. ( laughter ) "only i can fix it! "no, fix yourself donald trump." mike pence, you better come get

your man!" ( laughter ) and i'll be honest. i don't know if this was an effective campaign speech that would convince a swing voter. what i do know is joe biden just got a brand-new special stand-up deal on hbo. >> i don't think the president really gets the-- gets the basics. he thinks these tariffs are being paid by china, just like he thinks mexico's building the wall. ♪ ♪ that's president trump. he denies there's climate change. what did he tell piers morgan in an interview recently? he said, "well, weather goes both ways." ( laughter ) he thinks windmills cause cancer. now, look, you think i'm making this up, i know. he said those california fires, what they've got to do is rake their leaves. ( laughter )

i'm not joking! i'm not making this up! >> trevor: joe biden, everybody! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) anyone can stick a lime in a beer. at sam adams, we brew with lime, plus lemon, orange zest, summer wheat, and grains of paradise, for a new lighter and brighter summer ale. sorry, lime wedge. we've got this. sam adams summer ale.

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delivering happy. mcdonalds on uber eats. >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." in the past few years, there's been a lot of talk about america losing its standing in the world economically, diplomatically, grammatically. but yesterday, the u.s. showed there's at least one place they can still kick ass. >> it was a day of record-setting domination on the world stage for the u.s.

women. as the women's world cup kicks off in france, the u.s. women's soccer team is showing no mercy and making history. >> 2-0, u.s. 3-0. 4-0. 6-0. 9-0. 10-0, u.s. there's the 11th. shot, goal! >> the defending champions posting the tournament's largest margin of victory ever, shutting out thailand 13-0. >> trevor: wow! 13-0! ( cheers and applause ) that's not a soccer score. america basically won by a touchdown, a field gold, and a three-pointer combined. like, they were dominating so hard, this was their goalie during the game. and it's crazy, because if you watch soccer in the world, you're like, this is madness. america is like, "this is how soccer should be!" i do feel a little bad, though, all right, because this is the worst thing to ever happen to a thai soccer team. and, yes, i'm including the one that got stuck in the cave. yeah, because at least the cave wasn't celebrating in front of

them. "you guys are stuck in me! so this was a historic win for the u.s. women's soccer team. but some people say it might have been a little too much winning. >> a lot of controversy over how the women are celebrating over that record-breaking win over thailand. critics say the team showed poor sportsmanship by continuing to score then celebrate, some calling team u.s.a.'s behavior embarrassing, overboard, and disrespectful. >> that target that they already had on their back as defending champions, that just got a whole lot bigger. they have now painted themselves as villains and as bullies. >> trevor: okay, i get what people are saying. they're saying that the u.s. beat this team so hard they should have been more sensitive, not celebrating every single goal. but at the same time, sometimes showing pity can be worse. than celebrating. it's patronizing. imagine in a rap battle, and you're losing it and the emcee is like ♪ and another thing

are you okay? i thought i crushed you with that line about your momma. do you want a hug? do you want a hug? so the big question is, has this tarnished the reputation of u.s. women's soccer? well, for more on this we're joined by someone who has embarrassed america many times while overseas, desi lydic, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) desi, people are saying the u.s. women's soccer team was unsportsmanlike. do you agree? >> no, no. they were not being unsportsmanlike, trevor. they were being american. our slogan is "america, ( bleep ), yeah. not, "america, osorry we won. we're the country that won a war 200 years ago, and we're still shooting off fireworks and rubbing it in britain's face. >> trevor: so you're saying it's not arrogance. that's just how america rolls. >> exactly. it's how we roll on the battlefield. it's how we roll on the soccer field. it's how we roll on our daughter's piano recital, which she ( bleep ) won, by the way. >> trevor: desi, i don't think you can win at a piano recital. >> no, you do if all the other

parents' cars get their tires slafned and suddenly orchestra night becomes tiffany's night. >> i love you, sweetie. you made beethoven your bitch. >> trevor: you're a good mom, i guess, desi. don't you feel even a little bad for thailand's team? >> what? thailand? no this has nothing to do with them. our women weren't playing against thailand. they were playing against the patriarchy. that's what this game was really about. >> trevor: last time i checked the patriarchy wasn't made up of 13 thai women. >> no, i'm talking about this. >> 28 players are suing their employer, the u.s. soccer federation alleging institutionalized gender discrimination. >> according to the lawsuit, the women's team earns just 38% of a male player for the same kind of work. >> the women scored more goals in one match than the men's team has scored in every world cup appearance since 2006 combined. >> you see that? the women's soccer team is doing so much more and getting paid so much less than the men's team.

it's like finding out tony stark got paid less than hawkeye. one is a superhero. the other is a dad who is into archery. yesterday was about the women's team trying to prove their worth. they weren't just playing to win a game. they were playing to win a lawsuit. and yeah, it sucks that thailand had to get caught in the cross-fire but it's like i said to the parents at my kid's music school, it's not personal, and i'll pay for your tires. >> trevor: so you're saying the women's team was just sending a message to u.s. soccer. >> yes, and clearly that message is that they need to be paid more. oh, and i don't know, maybe u.s. soccer should pay the men less. maybe they'd then be motivated to actually qualify for their world cup. goaaaaal! goaaaaal! goaaaaal! ( cheers and applause ) goaaaaal! goaaaaal!

goaaaaal! >> trevor: unsportsmanlike. desi lydic, everyone, we'll be right back. it's too much! that's too much! here are even more reasons to join t-mobile. 1. do you like netflix? sure you do. that's why it's on us. 2. unlimited data. use as much as you want, when you want. 3. no surprises on your bill. taxes and fees included. still think you have a better deal?

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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is an actor who stars in the new movie "men in black: international." >> we are above the system, over it, beyond it. we are them. we are they. we are the men in black. >> the men in black? >> don't start. i've had the conversation. and they didn't seem to be able to let it go. it's a process. here's your first assignment. >> okay, when do i get my...

>> it's called a neuralizer, and you don't just get it. you earn it. impress me, and we'll see about it. >> okay. >> you're a fan of the truth, aren't you, agent m. >> i like it. >> i think we may have a problem in london. >> trevor: please welcome tessa thompson! ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to the show. >> hey, thanks for having me again. >> trevor: and congratulations on yet another blockbuster franchise, "men in black: international." like, you are in every big movie right now. you are in "avengers." you're in "thor." you're in "men in black." at some point, do you just,

like, go to a cinema and just be like, "all the posters, that's me?" >> no, never. >> trevor: never? >> no. but on my flight here, there were three of my films, and that-- that-- that was, like, a moment for me. i was like, what is life? this is crazy. >> trevor: on the plane at the same time? >> yeah. >> trevor: yeah, you see, i would be going to every row in the plane, and i'd just be like-- >> to see who is watching it. >> trevor: i would make them watch it. >> my most favorite thing is watching-- okay, this is what i love to do-- is watching someone decide what movie to watch and decide not to watch yours or put it on and then turn it off after 10 minutes. >> trevor: i would come back. >> the guy across from me made it through "creed 2." which is nice. he was on his phone, and he was picking his nails at one point. he was definitely bored. and it was during some of my scenes. i felt some kind of way about it, but it's okay. >> trevor: i feel like you should-- you should surprise people. like, when that's happening, just pop up and be like, "hey, look at me!" because that would, like, blow their minds.

they'd think it was a thing. you'd never forget tessa thompson if that happened to you on a plane. >> i probably should. my friend recently was in washington square park, and a guy walked past him in a "sorry to bother you" t-shirt, which is a film i made. and he was like, "hey, i like your t-shirt." and we happened to be facetiming. and i said, "let me see the guy." and i facetimed with him. >> trevor: and it changed forever. >> his name is michael. he goes to n.y.u. >> trevor: there you go, michael n.y.u. now you're famous as well. >> hi, michael. >> trevor: let's talk about the new movie. "men in black" is a franchise people know and love. and now it's international, even though they were intergalactic before. but the story has changed now. it's about aliens all over. before, it was this is what's happening in new york. now it's like aliens are everywhere. >> yes, it's a global scope. you have only ever seen the new york part of "men in black." and now you get to see "men in black" in london, and we travel the world, basically. it feels like that again, even

in the scene that we watched, it feels like you take characters that previously could have just you molded them into being, dare i say, complete human beings, you know, not just "the girlfriend," not just "the sidekick," not just "the nagging woman." but it's like, no, a human being who feels and says and does everything and actually moves the plot forward. is that something you do intentionally, or is that just the roles that come to you? >> i think i try-- i think i try to. because who wants to be "the nagging woman." >> trevor: right. >> that's no fun. i also-- i don't know, for me, it's-- i never thought that i would make movies, and certainly big hollywood movies. like, all of those archetypes, like the hot girl. >> trevor: yes. >> like, i never felt like i could see myself in any of those archetypes, so i wouldn't stand a chance, in my own perspective, at making it in this business to fit squarely any of those boxes so-- and i've been really lucky. it's not just me. i get to work with collaborators, like brian kugler, who wants me to be more than just, you know-- yeah, than an archetype. >> trevor: right, just someone who is in the background--

>> and it's so disgusting, but so much in hollywood, women are just ciphers, you know, we move the plot forward. and i'm really heartened that i've stuck around long enough in a time where audiences are demanding more than that and hollywood is, i think, finally listening. >> trevor: it's coming across. ( cheers and applause ) when you look at hollywood as a whole and you see a poster like that, i remember a time when ininternationally, you wouldn't see a poster with the black lead on the poster. >> yeah. >> trevor: like, i would be in south africa and america and they would have the black actor on it. and you would travel somewhere else, and you'd be like, "wait, what happened to that person?" but you were on the posters. i've seen pictures of you in japan. i've seen pictures of you in china. that's a big shift in hollywood. >> it was a huge shift. to be, honest the first film was made in 1997. will smith is a bona fide movie star. i would not be here without him that's just true.

and we can take it for granted now, but the fact that he was able to top-line a studio movie, a franchise, and bring his black identity to it is hugely groundbreaking. it just is. >> trevor: right. do you think that's a big thing that needs to shift, how people perceive the ability of actors who are black should be bankable as well? everyone seems to get surprised. like jordan peele's movie, "that did surprisingly well." >> i hate that. that upsets me. >> trevor: like "black panther," "black panther," it surpassed all expectation. whereas, like "avengers" or "captain marvel," it predictably hit its numbers. >> of course. >> trevor: that seems like it's shifting. >> well, there's been this myth, this really antiquated tired myth that hollywood held on to that black and brown faces don't sell overseas. they don't want to see us in china. they don't want to see us in russia. i'll tell you what. i went to russia. i went to china. they were very happy to see me, and i was happy to see them. ( cheers and applause ) and my hope is that we can get

to a space where a woman, and particularly a woman of color, top-lining a studio movie is not something that we need to celebrate or congratulate or acknowledge. because it's just commonplace. and so my hope is that films like this help us get there, which is my soft pitch for why people should go see this film. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: 1,000 reasons to see it. you just added one more to that. thank you so much for being on the show. >> thank you so much for having me. >> trevor: i love watching you on screen. i love having you here. "men in black: international" will be in theaters nationwide june 14. tessa thompson, everybody. we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) miller lite is brewed with great taste, only 96 calories and zero grams of sugar. ♪ now that's a combo. miller lite. hold true. we hide hotel names

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