here before-- and we basically learned that whoever smelt it, denied it, and rhymed it actually dealt it. - ah, sounds like you had a fun weekend. - yeah, i guess so. anyway, grandpa, i wanted to give you something. - oh, for me? oh. my god. there she is. old patches. there's that slobbering, happy face. thank you, billy. that means a lot. billy, that--that bolo tie you're wearing? - yeah? - i don't know where you got that, but it's [bleep] gay as [bleep]. - cool, i-i won't wear it anymore. - that's a good idea. - folks, these are not your average peridot craponite earrings. these are 18-karat gold, and we got--oh, do we have a buyer on the line? hello? - what are you waiting for? kill yourself. - all right, goddamn it, we got another comedian.

ever since that little kid called up, now everybody wants to call and tell me i should kill myself. - he was right. do it. - folks, this is an 800 number. every time you call and tell me to kill myself, it's costing us $2.36! so, now, how about a caller who wants to buy jewelry? yes. hello, sir? - you're too scared to do it, aren't ya? you don't have the balls. - goddamn it, i'm not scared to do it. - nah, you're scared. you got-- you got lady balls. [hangs up, dial tone] [beep] - hello? i'm calling about the peridot earrings. - yes, ma'am! - they'd look good on your dead body. why don't you kill yourself? - all right. that's that. that there's the-- the straw that broke the camel's back. i got a gun right here. what do you think about that? - put it against your temple and pull the trigger.

[gun clicks] [gunshot] [microphone feedback] >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," everybody! thank you so much for tuning in! thank you all for coming out! as always, thank you! i'm trevor noah! our guest tonight is an olympic champion and the greatest female skier of all time lindsey vonn

is joining us, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) also on tonight's show, why everyone is tweeting about sudan, your phone is making you grow horns and joe biden says some of his best friends are racists. so let's catch up on today's headlines. let's begin with an update on the growing tensions between the u.s. and iran, where things are growing only even more tension-y. >> escalating crisis. american authorities now confirming iran shot down a u.s. drone this morning, saying it was flying in international airspace. >> iran does not deny shooting down the u.s. aircraft but claims it was in iranian territorial airspace. this drone is one of america's most sophisticated unarmed aircraft. the guard guard corps saying our borders are red line any enemy that violates them will not be

returned and be destroyed. >> trevor: shit is getting heated! both sides have the stories. iran says they shot down the drone because it was flying over their country. america says it wasn't flying over iran, it was just flying very, very close -- yeah, i'm not touching you, i'm not touching you, i'm not touching you -- mom! iran hit me! ( laughter ) i get where america is coming from because, you see, here's a map of the region and this is the border of iran. the u.s. says the drone was flying here in international airspace. if that's true, that's clearly an act of aggression by iran. just for context, the border of the united states is over here. just gives it a bit more perspective. by the way, i think it's funny how the media is showing all the pictures of the drone and its history and how precious it is. it's almost like america has to do something because the drone left behind an entire drone family. now that family is unmanned!

it's a drone, guys. it's a drone. you don't have to go to war over a drone. before you accuse me of being anti-american, the commander-in-chief basically said the same thing today in a press conference. and you know what? i agree with trump. yeah, i said it. i don't think america should launch a full-out war to avenge a flying rumba, right? so let's move on to some domestic news. roy moore, the gun toting judge banned from the mall because he wouldn't stop hitting on teenagers? hide your kids, alabama, he's back. >> controversial alabama republican roy moore announced he is going to make another run for the u.s. senate seat he lost in a special election in 2017. >> judge moore, you say you plan to win this time. can you talk about what you plan to do different than 2017? >> well, i think i'll be able to make more -- i would like to make more personal contact with people -- ( laughter ) >> trevor: you want to make

more personal contact? ( laughter ) yeah, right now more cops across alabama are calling for backup. guys, roy moore is back! we need to form a hot perimeter around hot topic! let's get do toyota! ( laughter ) but as much as we make fun of him, roy moore may have a chance. right now the polls put him at 27%. now, obviously, he prefers numbers to be ten years below that, but still -- ( audience reacts ) speak of 'doovers, exciting news. >> avengers coming out in theaters again. the movie is rereleased featuring a new previously deleted scene. the movie is already in second place for all-time domestic ticket sales and has earned over $2.7 billion at the global box office, leaving it just 44 million behind another disney-owned film avatar. >> trevor: yes, that's right. avengers end game is coming back to cinemas with new added

scenes. i've got to say these bonus scenes from marvel are getting out of control because at first marvel made us sit through the credits to see them. now they're, like, come back in five weeks. ( laughter ) yeah, that's power. i think it's cool to remake the movie and put it out again. i like the idea of a world where we say i can't wait to see avengers, i can't wait to see what happens this time! they should change things in other movies. like towards -- darth vader is like, luke, i am your neighbor! that was you upstairs? come join me on the co-op board. i'll never join you! ( laughter ) finally, we all know technology will change humans forever, but i really don't think any of us are quite prepared for how much we're about to change. >> the story here, new research suggesting young people are developing horn-like spikes on the back of their skulls and cell phones may be to blame.

researchers in australia say these bone spurs are caused by constantly tilting the head forward. researchers say the discovery marx the first adaptation of skeletal adaptation of everyday life. it may be called "text neck." >> trevor: that's right, you can get horns in the back of your skull from constantly looking at your phone, which is freaking cool. ( laughter ) i need to look at my phone more often! wow! ( laughter ) this is completely serious. they say if you place two fingers at the base of your skull and if that bone there is sticking out, if you can feel a bone sticking out, it means you use your phone too much. and then if you don't have that bone, scientists say it's because you're an asshole who doesn't text back. ( laughter ) and that's not the only way phones are physically making us

change. like if this finger has gotten longer, it's probably because you're always going, uh, can i borrow a charger, please? can i? can i? i don't know about you guys but this news totally freaked me out. you realize what this means for human evolution. if we keep using our phones eventually our sculsz are crane forward, our hands will change and come here because we always spend our time texting, and so now we're basically turning into dinosaurs. we're turning into t rexes. maybe that's what it was, a human who texted a lot. we're already like that. we're on our phones, see something on twitter and we're like, aaahhh! aaahhh! aaahhh! aaahhh! aaahhh! aaahhh! ( laughter ) all right, moving on to the main story. with first debate next week, the democratic primary race is hotter than ever before. so let's cheque in on the latest developments in our ongoing segment world war d. ( cheers and applause )

♪ right now, you cannot talk about the democratic race without talking about joe biden. not only is he the frontrunner and former host of "the daily show," but he's been leading in the polls since the day he announced his run. but that doesn't mean it's been smooth sailing. he took heat for flip-flopping on a major abortion policy, he faced questions about his voting record and, of course, we all remember when he had to apologize for giving people surprise massages. yes. now, surprise being the operative word because massages are nice, but nobody wants a surprise massage. just like a road trip is great but app surprise road trip is just kidnapping. ( laughter ) and this week -- this week, biden has continued his scandal streak with comments he made about missing the old days. >> joe biden is under fire this evening on comments he made

about working alongside seg -- segregationist senators in the past. recalling her man talmadge and james eastland who called african-americans an inferior race. i was in a caucus with james o. eastland. he never called me boy, he only called me son. at least there was some civility, we got things done. we didn't agree on much of anything, we got things done. biden made comments despite his aides saying don't discuss relationships with segregationist senators. >> trevor: joe biden, what are you doing? you can't come out in 2019 and say these two senators from back in the day were super racist but at least they were civil. yeah, civil to you, maybe. of course, they never called you boy, you're white. biden's running around saying i worked with these senators, senator eastland many times, and not once did he call me the n word. ( laughter ) there was the one time, but i

had a tan, so i understand. ( laughter ) now the reason joe biden told the story, even though his advisors told him not to, is because he's trying to set himself up as the guy who can work with adversaries in congress even though he disagrees with their views. by saying this, he may have created created new adversaries within his own parties. >> those comments -- >> so coddle the reputations of segregationists of people who if they had their way i would not be standing here as a member of the united states senate is misinformed and wrong. >> senator cory booker was among the first candidates to come out and push back on biden for these comments. he said vice president's relationships with proud segregationists are not the model for how we make america a safer and more inclusive place for black people and everyone and, frankly, i'm disappointed that he hasn't issued an

immediate apology. >> trevor: yeah. i get what these senators are saying. for many people, i felt like joe biden was saying being polite was more important than not being racist, which is not how black people feel. no black person is like i know they think we're subhuman as species but at least they said so gabbing to africa, please. ( laughter ) i would believe it if biden said his story wasn't meant to offend black people and his comments were taken the wrong but a but he didn't help himself when he responded to the criticism like this. >> this morning, joe biden is refusing calls. >> i ran for the united states senate because i disagreed with the views of the segregationists. the point is you don't have to agree. >> are you going to apologize. >> for what? >> cory booker's call for it. >> cory should apologize.

he knows better. there's not a racist bone in my body, i have been involved in civil rights my whole career. >> trevor: whoa, whoa, not a racist bone in your body? who said that? people said your comments were tone deaf and you're like i don't have a racist bone in my body. this one was from texting too much! ( laughter ) cory didn't say he was racist. exactly la didn't say he was racist. he just comes out, i'm not racist. a cop pulls you over, excuse me, sir, do you know how fast you were doing? i did not kidnap anyone! that was a surprise road trip, officer! maybe you should apologize! what the (~bleep ) was that about? i can't believe joe biden told cory booker to apologize, which undermines biden's whole point. this all started because he's selling himself as someone who knows how to work in a civil way with people he disagrees with, but when senators in his own party disagrees with him, his response is basically eat shit!

( laughter ) so a week before the democratic debates kick off, clearly the pressure is starting to build, and joe biden as a frontrunner, look, man, better get used to criticism because everyone will watch what you say. instead of snapping, keep your cool, relax. in fact, maybe you should give yourself one of those surprise massages. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) uh-oh, looks like someone's still nervous about buying a new house. is it that obvious? yes it is. you know, maybe you'd worry less if you got geico to help with your homeowners insurance. i didn't know geico could helps with homeowners insurance. yep, they've been doing it for years. what are you doing? big steve?

thanks, man. there he is. get to know geico and see how much you could save on homeowners and renters insurance.

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at sam adams, we brew with lime, plus lemon, orange zest, summer wheat, and grains of paradise, for a new lighter and brighter summer ale. sorry, lime wedge. we've got this. sam adams summer ale. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." if you have been online lately, you've probably noticed, well, two things -- one, it's keanu's world and we're all just riffing in it and, two, everyone has been posting about sudan. >> people around the world are using instagram to raise awareness about the recent violence in sudan.

there's been a wave of postings using the hashtag blue for sudan. >> george clooney is using his celebrity to draw attention to sudan. >> u.s. celebrities including rihanna, nick jonas and bela hadid are using social platforms to raise awareness. >> trevor: people are using social media to raise awareness about the crisis in sudan. and honestly, i never thought i would see the day where a thirst trap would be used for a noble cause. usually on instagram, it's usually look at my ass, now my tummy. now it's look at my ass and pray for sudan. ( laughter ) you may be wondering what's the crisis? let's get into it in another installment of if you don't know, now you know. ( cheers and applause ) ♪

to understand what's going on in sudan right now, you have to go back 30 years. when sudan got something that almost always guarantees o presentation anoppression and uk date. >> he came to power in a military coup in 1989 and survived 80 years. >> in southern sudan and darfur, his scorched earth and massacred enemies. hundreds of thousands died and suffered from famine. he was indicted for crimes against humanity and genocide. 75 omar al-bashir waged wars while wearing a smile. >> trevor: the only thing worse than a dictator is a smiling dictator. yeah, because now you're a maniac with a creepy-ass grin. we all know how terrifying hitler looks. now imagine if he was smiling. i can't look at that. take that shit down! so for 30 years, omar al-bashir ruled over sudan with

an iron fist. many failed attempts to overthrow him. the secret ingredient to successful revolt was bread. >> the protest began in december 2018. the sudden tripling of the cost of bread sparked the initial protests but they quickly turned into anti-government rallies calling for the resignation of al-bashir. >> after 30 years in power president al-bashir has been forced out by the country's military. the army declared a state of government and a state of emergency. >> trevor: after 30 years in power, this dictatorship ended because people didn't have bread. which must be really confusing to people in california because they start riots if you give them bread. this doesn't have carbs, right? if it does, i'll burn this (~bleep ) place to the ground! ( laughter ) so people finally get rid of their dictator and you could tell it was a big deal because

people were cheering, celebrating in town squares and partying in the streets. people were dancing in the traffic! it's like an african la-la land. like the oscars, the people of sudan's victory were short lived. >> the military is suspending the constitution and will take charge of the country for two years. >> one week after they oppose add dictator, sudanees are on the streets wanting to replace the government with a civilian led government. >> trevor: the military helped people oppose the dictator and then they decided to take his place. a classic lord of the rings. works with the good guys to get rid of the ring. when he sees an opening, my precious! ( laughter ) you know the basics, people of sudan got rid of their dictator of 30 years and right now they're fighting the military

general who wants to be their dictator for the next 30 years. and you may be wondering, yeah, but trevor, how are celebrities going to help? is the general going to check twitter and b oh, no, rihanna blocked me, i'll step down! maybe not. but already the awareness campaign is bearing fruit. the u.s. is sending a special envoy to sudan and the african union suspended sudan until the military gives the power back to people. it's not just up to the celebrities. any american can help. call your congress person and urge them to keep the pressure on sudan. you can actually make a difference, which is especially important today because it's world refugees day. while everyone can't agree on what to do with refugees, everyone can agree no one should become one in the first place. we'll be right back ( cheers and applause )

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>> well, that's like the best applause i've ever gotten, yeah. >> trevor: that is not true. they are amazing but that is not true. i've seen you get amazing applauses every single time you have broken a record and won a medal. welcome to the show, lindsey vonn. how are you? >> great. how are you? >> trevor: i'm fine. i'm fine. you're on the show. i'm fine. >> i think i have a horn growing in the back of my head, though, i'm not sure. >> trevor: how is life treating you now as a great of a sport? not many people are considered the greatest of their generations in any sport. many say linds lind changed downhill skiing forever. seven world championship medals? >> i think nine. >> trevor: nine? ( cheers and applause )

i mean, yeah, yeah, and you should. >> i'm retired, now, so i've got to puff myself up as much as i can because there isn't any more coming. ( laughter ) >> trevor: what does it feel like to go from that world to retired? you dominated the sport and changed it forever. because of injury you had to slow down and change your life. was that an easy shift for you to make? >> no, it was likely hard. that's why i saved sky diving for after i'm retired because i knew it would come in handy later on. >> trevor: does that compare. >> haven't done it yet. >> trevor: you still are? >> yeah, i had the adrenaline, now i don't, now i'm going to skydive, just to have fun. >> trevor: just to get the feeling back. >> yeah. >> trevor: to see what happens. >> yeah. >> trevor: what is the scariest part of skiing? i'm assuming it's a crash. >> have you ever skid? >> trevor: no, that's white people's things. no.

no. why would i do that? ( laughter ) i have no business on the slopes. >> i love you. you're awesome. what was the question? >> trevor: no, i'm saying what is the scariest part of skiing? >> it's not scary. >> trevor: at all? >> no. >> trevor: how fast are you going -- >> i did it for 19 years because it's awesome. >> trevor: no, generally you're a fearless person. when you're going down a slope and we've seen the clips of you flying, how fast are you going at your peak? >> probably 85, 90. >> trevor: 85, 90 what? >> miles an hour. >> trevor: i was thinking kilometers and now it doubled. >> right. >> trevor: that's really fast. >> yes. >> trevor: you are breaking speed limits of the freeway down a slope. >> yeah. >> trevor: and you've crashed. you've broken how many bones in your body? >> a lot. >> trevor: and you've come back every single time. what is the hardest part of recovering? your bone is broken, your body is broken, it must be harder and

harder to come back. how did you keep on doing it? >> it was hard. i think it just takes time. like it's really boring, you're always doing the same thing over and over and over and over, and i always tell people, you know, when i'm going 85 miles an hour, i always say, okay, stick your head out of the car when you're driving on the highway. it's kind of what it feels like to ski that fast. but then jump out of the car when you're going on the highway. and that's what it feels like when you're crashing. >> trevor: don't jump out of your car. just take her word for it. do not jump out of your car or stick your head out of the window on the freeway. i feel like, in many ways, you crashing and getting up has been what made lindsey such an icon. people saw you as a legend. because of that, you won, but then you came back. a lot of people can win but it's really hard to come back from that level of adversity. your foundation, strong girls camp, in many ways, speaks to

that idea. why did you stop that camp, that initiative and what does it mean for you? >> for me, the best thing that came out of all of my injuries injuriesout noornt jump ought of carbs was that i had time to start my foundation. >> trevor: right. >> the mission is to empower young girls. now with the horns growing out of the back of our heads, there's a lot going on with social media and the bulge i didn't think and lack of self-confidence is astounding. , so you know, the premise came from when i met my idol when i was nine years old for two minutes and, because of her, i wanted to be an olympian. >> trevor: amazing. >> i thought, if i can spend a whole day with kids, what can i encourage them and inspire them to do and be and that is why i started my foundation. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: yes, thank you. you have been a champ one on the slopes, you have been

three-times "sports illustrated" mold -- are you going to say five now, are you going to trick me? >> well, bikini twice and paint once. so, yeah, three times. >> trevor: i've only done paint. whatever. ( laughter ) you've also started a new channel on youtube where we're getting an insight into your life. what are you interested in now? i know would have been in skiing for so long. you're bigger than just skiing. people see lindsey vonn as someone who speaks out, fights for women's rights and a role model in the world, what are you looking to do in the world now that you have free time and not falling out of a car at 85 miles an hour? >> thanks. that's, like, really nice coming from you. i appreciate that. you know, i don't know exactly what i want to do. i'm trying a lot of different things to see what i'm most passionate about because, as you know, you need the passion to be able to be really successful. >> trevor: right. >> i'm finishing my memoir. i have my h.b.o. documentary coming out this fall. i'm executive roading a movie

with robert redford, so there's a lot of things in the pipeline. i'm starting my own butte company, i'm working with arnold schwarzenegger and lebron on a nutrition company ladder. there's a couple of things. >> trevor: there's a couple of things going on. thank you so much for coming on the show! wonderful having you here! lindsey vonn, everybody! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ man, i wish we had some- doctor pepper?! and rich, delicious dr pepper! [ robot noises ] cool robot! thanks! but actually he's a cooler from the future. wow. oh no-no, don't touch. he's very cold. haha! dr pepper. so nice to treat you!

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here it is, your moment of zen. >> yesterday, when i asked about reparations, senate majority leader mitch mcconnell offered a familiar reply -- america should not be held liable for something that happened 150 years ago since none of us currently alive are responsible. we grant mr. connell wasn't alive for apamatics but he was alive for the execution of george steny, the blinding of isaac woodward, he was alive to witness katocracy in native alabama and regime premised on electoral theft. mitch mcconnell witnessed the harassment, jailing and betrayal for legislation passed yesterday by a government sworn to protect them.