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- ladies and gentlemen, miss angelina jolie!and ge - hello, everyone! hello! captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.comossibl >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," everybody! thank you so much for tuning in! thank you for coming out! oh, yeah! oh, i can feel it! i'm trevor noah! our guest tonight is here to talk about the new amazon docu-series "free meek"! meek mill is joining us,

everybody! ( cheers and applause ) so excited. also on tonight's show, we meet a president who's come back from the dead. if you send emojis, it means you're in a gang. and donald trump is a harry potter expert. so let's catch up on today's headlines. headlines. >> trevor: let's begin with climate change. it's the gradual disaster that will eventually wipe us out if we don't take it seriously. think of it like oatmeal. you wash your bowl right away, no problem. but if you leave it in the sink, by the time you come home, you will have a new roommate. ( laughter ) and if the world does end, there's one group you cannot blame, scientists, because they keep warning us every single day to wash out our bowl. >> chilling warnings out in a new report that says, if we want to save the planet, we need to change what we put on the table and how we produce food. >> about a quarter of greenhouse gases in the last decade came from food, farming and land use. >> think about it this way, half

a pound of beef causes as much greenhouse gas to be emitted as driving 55 of these cars for one mile. >> some good news, possibly, if we get rid of red meats in our diet, move toward vegan lifestyles and change how we use land in our world, we might be able to change it but the clock is ticking. >> trevor: either the world ends or we all become vegan. ( laughter ) i mean, we've had a good run, let's be honest, huh? we've done this earth thing. ( cheers and applause ) yeah, it's good. we're done. what more is there to see? and, like, don't get me wrong, i think we should all be eating less red meat if it will save the planet, but, at the same time, if we turn into a planet full of vegans, it's not a dream scenario. the hot air emerging from people bragging how good they are will heat up the planet faster.

the ice caps are melting and all i'm eating is ham. aaahhh! aaahhh! ( laughter ) producing half a pound of beef puts out as much greenhouse gas as 55 cars driving a mile. that's insane. the only solution is we have to drive cows. ( laughter ) think about it. then we get to eat them when we get to our destination. two birds, one stone. instead of valet parking, we can have filet parking. and how do you like a car? medium rare, please. in other news, emojis, abu years ago, they were a cute way to end your relationship, but now we use them to say so much more. we can use emojis to say we're going on vacation, you can tell someone you're busy at work and, of course, everyone's favorite that you found human remains in your backyard. ( laughter ) well, now the emojis are so next level, they can even help you get into a gang. >> ththe "new york post" reports gang members are using seemingly

harmless symbols to recruit to get tell mepeople to carry out crimes. >> the gas symbol is universal symbol for gang. if you post the gas pump, that means gang mode. two fingers up, are s the crips. the hat is the bloods. if they want to taunt the rivals, the live stream video from opponent's turf on snapchat, that practice is known as cyber -- banging. cyberbanging. >> trevor: you can see when he said cyber banging the first thing that came to his mind wasn't a top hat emoji. cyber -- banging, cyber banging, yeah. ( laughter ) the top hat emoji means bloods. that is crazy, because it means abraham lincoln was in the bloods. ( laughter ) and mr. peanut, how deep does

this go? also just a random question, why does the gas pump symbolize gang mode? aren't you in a gang full time? what is this? part time gang members? i picked up a couple extra shifts with the crips this weekend, got to pay off the student debt. ( laughter ) i wonder if gang members get confused. do they send someone a text and the other guy is you've got a beef heating up and you want me to wipe him off the planet? no, stop eating meat or we'll destroy the planet, man! i take this seriously! ( cheers and applause ) and finally, speaking of criminals, former illinois governor rod blagojevich is back in the news. he was sentenced to 14 years in prison for trying to sell a vacant senate seat. fortunately for him, donald trump likes him and is thinking about giving him a presidential pardon because he said he was treated unfairly.

this might explain why trump is so into criminal justice reform. all his friends are locked up. i miss them! ( laughter ) how does donald trump know this corrupt politician rod blagojevich? did he help him set up secret russian meetings or help him with a tax evasion scheme? no, they were on the same show. >> let me ask you a question. your harry potter facts were not accurate. who did the research? >> i feel like i knew a product. i wrote a lot of the text. slivering, huff and puff and raven cloth. >> so are you spoons snbl. >> i think -- i think we did not win. >> rod, you're fired. >> trevor: wow. ( laughter ) you know, i don't know why, but after everything, i think the thing that would actually freak me out the most about trump is if he was actually an expert on harry potter.

that would, like, break my mind. i wouldn't be able to accept that if he came out one day and said i say send her back! expel the armis! i would be, like, no, i'm not willing to accept that. i just wouldn't. blaz( applause ) that's it for the headlines. before our main story, all of this week, everyone has been asking what can we do to try and end gun violence? and for a lot of politicians, the solution has been to do something about video games because they said violent video games have the power to influence people to commit murder, and that got us thinking, if video games are so persuasive, maybe even video games could inspire politicians to do something to end gun violence. that's why "the daily show" made a new online game called the legislator, made in one day, license to bill. ( laughter ) right, and it's all about trying to get gun control through congress, and mitch mcconnell

is the final boss, right? sso lawmakers, check it out. maybe it will inspire people in congress tookly write laws. ( cheers and applause ) let's move on to the main story. let's talk about fundraising. it's as integral a part of american politics as low voter turnout and terrorizing babies. now, historically, rich people have hosted fundraisers in america for political candidates and this happened lig and didn't garner much awe tension. but in the age of trump, all that changed, as one billionaire just found out. >> calls are growing for members of equinox and soul cycle to boycott the popular fitness clons after it was revealed the chawmple chairman of the parent company will hold a big fundraiser for the president. tickets run to a quarter

million dollars. many customers including celebrities taking to social media criticizing and threatening to bo boycott the gm and spinning studio soul cycle. billy ikeman saying he's canceling his membership. christie says everyone canceling membersships, meet me at the library, bringweights. >> trevor: you can't just work out in the library. people are masturbating in there, show respect! come on, crissy! that's right, the owner of equinox and soul cycle is throwing a fundraiser for donald trump in the a house in the hamptons. so now there are growing calls for people to boycott equinox and soul cycle. to all the people canceling memberships, i say good luck. have you ever tried to get out of a gym membership? it is impossible. people don't know this but the real reason harriet tubman fled the south was to escape the

planet fitness contract. she's like i heard in the north they let you pay montho month! in the wake to have the backlash, the equiknocks owner stephen ross released a statement defending himself. but i think it made it worse. >> ross defended his relationship with trump saying, in part, i have known donald trump for 40 years and while we agree on some issues, we strongly disagree on others. i started my business with nothing and a reason for engagement with our leaders is to create jobs and grow our country's economy. i have been and will continue to be an outspoken champion of racial equality, inclusion, diversity, public education and environmental stability. >> trevor: if you're host ago fundraiser for donald trump, i don't know if you can call yourself a champion of racial equality and inclusion. you're not a champion. you can call your as much a contender, a part time

participant, a dabbler of racial equality, not a champion! ( cheers and applause ) if racial equality was app spot, you would be playing pickup games. that's basically what this is. russ is basically saying he supports the business side of donald trump but he doesn't support the racism side of donald trump. but you realize if you actually listen, you analyze what he's saying, what he's actually saying without realizing it is that he can afford to support trump's business side because trump's racism side doesn't affect him. that's what he's saying. ( cheers and applause ) and here's the thing -- here's the thing, soul cycle and equinox both have very liberal diverse memberships but, when the news asked these members how they'd participate in the boycott, their feelings were mixed. >> i'm really bummed to hear that the owner of equinox is involved in trump's campaign.

really bums me out. >> i don't like president trump but i'm not going to cancel my membership over it. >> yeah, i'll cancel it. there's a gym right down the street. >> if he goes through with this fundraiser, i'm probably going to be out. >> i'm not going to cancel, no. >> i would rather have plantar faishitis without treatment rather than support in any way trump supporters. >> trevor: that was so specific, you know when people give you a general thing, she said, i'd rather have planter fasciitis than to support. ( laughter ) many people say if this happens they're out. i'm joining them. in fact, i haven't gone to the gym in the last three months in preparation for this moment. that's right! ( cheers and applause ) that's right! so, once again, americans are

faced with the unending question should you support a business if some people in that business back a politician you don't like? well, we're no closer to finding the answer, but we did try to offer some solutions to people at these gyms with help from our very own jaboukie young-white. >> now that equinox and soul cycle are canceled. liberal new york, need a new #resistance alternative to their pro trump workouts. that's why i'm here to promote my new wokeout plan. ♪ now we're going to do squad quawts. are you familiar with "the squad." >> yes. >> you're going to be doing squats and shouting out name of people in the scwawdz. >> rashida tlaib, ayanna pressley, ilhan omar. >> #resist, #resist, #resist. >> get the murals in, crunch the

redactions, unlike the report, everyone will see that beach bod. you will do reps, right? >> yeah, definitely. >> and these reps are reparations, so go in your wallet, take out some money. okay. and just give me like ten more of these. even though you are too young to vote, what you can do to stay fit is run and register five people to vote in five minutes. can you do that? take this clip board. go! >> trevor: jaboukie young-white, everyone! we'll be right back! kfc chicken littles for 3 bucks.

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♪ welcome to my island! [ engine revving ] hit 'em with the moonshine. [ exhilarating music playing ] woo! ♪ allow me to reintroduce myself ♪ ♪ my name is... >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." let's turn to bun of my favorite countries to talk about. you guessed it, turk -- ministan. say hey! love you guys! ( laughter ) cultural appropriation. now, you may not know this, but for the last twelve years, turk manistan has been ruled by this man, mahamido, a dictator with poor record on human rights and there have been riewm reals he's dead. before you celebrate his demise, think about. >> whispers about the gelt of

makhamadof began swirling in july after he hadn't been seen in public for weeks, but now the country's state broadcaster has aired a 25-minute report showing him carrying out multiple tasks. they range from bowling and horse riding to composing music and driving a rally car -- ( engine revving ) >> trevor: okay, this is so amazing. instead of the president coming out and just saying, i'm not dead, he decided to cast himself in the amazing race? is that what this is? ( applause ) like, what is he doing? because you realize none of this proves that he's alive, right? a video of someone in a music studio doesn't mean they're currently alive. i can show you a video of tupac in a music studio and he's not alive -- or is he? ( cheers and applause )

now, there are a couple of things you have to know about president makhamadoff, one, his natural enemy is the name tag and, secondly, he's basically turned his whole country into a cult of personality. everything he does as leader is about showing off how perfect he is, how everyone loves him, how everything he does is tremendous, and i'm sure americans can't relate to this, but that's how it works over there. you know, those third-world countries. and that's what makes the state tv footage so amazing. for example, he could have just showed himself bowling. no, bowling is not enough. just watch how state tv edit the bowling footage to make him look super cool. ( speaking in foreign language ) ( laughter ) >> trevor: wow!

wow! amazing! amazing! such amazing bowling by such a living person! yay! some of the worst editing ever. the ball is clearly heading toward the gutter and all of a sudden cuts to a strike? doesn't look like the same lane. you're, like, trevor you're just jealous because he's more athletic than you know. i'm sure athwhrect. let's do this! ( cheers and applause ) see that? swish, swish, i'm alive, bish! ( laughter ) and the perfect bowling wasn't even close to the crazest part of the footage state tv put out because at one point in the video he gets in a car, drives across the desert and then does this -- ♪ ♪ ( speaking in foreign language )

>> trevor: okay, the good news is your president might be alive, the bad news is your country is being swallowed by hell. what is that? ( laughter ) so those are the clips turkmanistan state tv used to prove their leader is still alive. this guy is actually known for putting out the best propaganda videos we've ever seen. my favorite personally was this one released a few months ago of him and his grandson rocking out. ♪ ♪

>> trevor: huh? huh? ( cheers and applause ) that's the new old town road, baby. this guy does it all. he sings, plays guitar, has weird sexual tension with his grandson, everything. that's the latest news from turkmenistan. we don't know if the president is dead or alive but we know he's definitely killing it ton charts. we'll be right back. ♪

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judge, she done took her blindfold off. >> trevor: please welcome meek mill! ( cheers and applause ) welcome back to the show. >> huh? >> trevor: welcome back to the show. >> yeah, thanks for having me, man. >> trevor: it's great to have you here, and congratulations, i guess, as part of the documentary that you are now officially off probation. >> yeah, definitely. >> trevor: that really is exciting. >> yeah. living my life. >> trevor: for many people, they might see you and go meek mill, i saw you out there living your life already. has being off probation actually changed your life? >> yeah, actually, for my whole adult life, i'm 3 # years old now, i was 19 when i got put on probation, i couldn't travel when i wanted to. tomorrow, i want to take a day off and go to disney world with my son. before that, you couldn't do

that because you had to plan 30 days ahead to do that. nothing could be surprised. traveling in your freedom, doing what you want to do. everything is good. i'm enjoying: ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: now, some people out there, you know, because they either have not had an encounter with the justice system, come from a privileged background, may not truly understand what probation is all about. somebody might say meek if somebody commits a crime and they get out and are on probation they're lucky to be on probation. why do you think people should limit how long people should be on probation? >> your son or daughter could be in school, get charged with a crime, being in a small fight, then they could be put on four years probation. then they could smoke marijuana, and it's not a crime. people are trying to build up their lives and move forward and a small mistake could set you

back for years. doing 30 days in prison, you could lose your house, you could lose your job, you could lose a lot of things. when you have people working to do better, some mistake shouldn't hold your back your whole life. like it did with me. >> trevor: right. >> it was a fight. i overcame it. i had the resources to overcome it and the drive and ambition to make it out of there, but, you know, everybody don't have that drive. you know, i just wand to make awareness and this "free meek" documentary will kind of give awareness to the world of what happens on probation. >> trevor: it's a five-part documentary and talks about your story and also talks about the problems in the police system where we've seen additional stories come out, where you see the philadelphia police department, you see police departments around america where you have police who have tainted records, you have people fabricating evidence, what to you peopl -- what do you want pe

to take away? >> awareness. a lot of things have been going on in the justice system for many years and i don't think we've been to the season where we are now where we have data, we have social media, we have so much news and media we can attach ourselves to like this is just another source of media and me telling it through my story and exposing the corruption that a young black male like me faces on a daily basis. i got friends who don't come from my world. they think that 99% of the people in prison is supposed to be in prison. that's not really the case. it's probably about 50%, 50/50. 50% of the people who don't belong there because of a technical violation. i don't know if you know a technical violation is not a crime, you can be on probation and come in contact with a police officer and you can have your probation revoked and be sent back to prison. so i want to give a bird's-eye view on my life since i happened to be in that situation and i am

a public figure. i wanted to give people a bird's-eye view of what the average american goes through to survive and get my shot in the world, so i use my platform. >> trevor: a great thing you've done, thank you so much for being on the show. >> thanks for having me. >> trevor: "free meek," on amazon. check him out, meek mill, everybody! we'll be right back!

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