tv The Daily Show Comedy Central August 14, 2019 1:40am-2:15am PDT
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- tom, the shopping frenzy is over, and it looks like microsoft's new xbox one is this year's hot item. no doubt this will secure its place as the go-to next-gen console. black friday is over. there's been death, violence, horrible human behavior, and the big winner here decidedly is channel 9 news. [video game sound effects] - the interface is pretty cool. see, i told you guys it's really a seamless interface. - yeah, it is. - the graphics are definitely, like, 10% better than the old xbox. - yeah, that-- that's pretty nice. [game sound effects stop] you guys want to play outside or something? - cartman, your side won, dude. why are you so sad? - i just...i can't get the image of bill gates bashing that guy's head apart out of my eyes. - yeah, i know what you mean.
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well, look, guys, xbox won the console wars. i mean, what are we gonna do, not play video games? - the last few weeks we've been too busy to play video games and look at what we did. there's been drama, action, romance. i mean, honestly, you guys, do we need video games to play? - that's right. - he's trying to make a point. - maybe we started to rely on microsoft and sony so much that we forgot that all we need to play are the simplest things, like...like this! we can just play with this! screw video games, dude. who [bleep] needs them? all: yeah! - [bleep] 'em! - the south park video game, coming to stores soon. - yeah, and if you believe that, i got a big, floppy wiener to dangle in your face. >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! ( cheers and applause ) ♪
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>> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," everybody! i'm trevor noah! thank you so much for tuning in! thank you for coming out! ( cheers and applause ) so amazing! our guest tonight is one of nigeria's biggest artists who is now taking the world by storm, burna boy is here, everybody! going to be performing, so much fun. also on tonight's show, cnn is starting a fight club, endangered species are back in danger, and how to get a free vacation from fox news. let's catch up on today's headlines. ♪ we begin tonight with some big news for the animal kingdom. >> the trump administration moved to make the most sweeping changes in decades to how the endangered species act is enforced. the overhaul would weaken a number of protections and allow the government to consider the price tag for saving some species. >> today some 1600 species are
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protected by the act. more than 40 species in this country have recovered under the act's protection, including that soaring symbol of american might. >> trevor: yep, that's right. the trump administration say they want to start taking costs into account when decide ged whether or not to protect an endangered species, which seems like a pretty short sighted point of view because you can always make more money. what you can't do is bring a grizzly bear back from extinction. the best you can do is convince polar bears to dye their fur brown and that's problematic. yeah, you know the polar bears will be, like, dude, are you sure this isn't racist? i think it's racist. i don't know, man, i'm not comfortable with this. i don't want to get canceled, i've got that coke endorsement, i don't want to lose this. i just don't want to lose this. now, many critics of this plan are pointing out the endangered species act has been instrumental in protecting many animals on the verge of extinction.
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one of the main examples is the american bald eagle. that's part of the problem. that eagle is probably why trump is changing the law. don't forget, it was the bald eagle that attacked donald trump. don't ever forget that moment! ( cheers and applause ) yeah. ( applause ) yeah, don't forget, donald trump was minding his own business and he was attacked by the eagle that lives in his office! ( laughter ) he was just, like, you scared the shit out of me, now i'm going to build a highway through your habitat! ( laughter ) so they're saying it's all about the cost, it's about how much the animal costs to keep alive, i guess, so i guess if this law goes into effect, animals will have to go into shark tank to pitch why they should stay alive. it will be just, like, hi, i'm an aunt eater and today i'm offering low cost organic pest control, uh... ( laughter ) the only way to get trump to protect the habitats is going to be to say it helps protect the species he likes. like the flannel moth
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caterpillar that inspired his hair, that's a thing. that's a very handsome snake, we've got to protect it. ( laughter ) cnn anchor chris cuomo, you might know him for breaking news, but if you talk trash to him in the streets the only thing that might end up breaking is your face. >> cnn standing by, chris cuomo is shown threatening a heckler. this video taken during a heated exchange with an unidentified man who called cuomo fredo who he insists is a racial slur against i tall yanls. >> it's an insult to your people. like the n word for us. is that cool? you're going to have a problem. >> what are you going to do about it? >> i'm going to ruin your shit. i'm going to throw you down these stairs. you going to sue? >> what are you going to do about it. >> (~bleep ) wreck your shit, wreck your shit. >> trevor: yeah, chris cuomo doesn't mess around.
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now i see why cnn makes people fight in separate boxes, workplace safety. quoamo is like, if i wasn't in this box i would smash your face! cuomo is pissed off because when the guy called him fredo, it's a negative italian stereo time his reaction is also a negative italian stereotype. what did you say? i'll wreck your (~bleep ) shit and throw you down these stairs, man! you want to talk to me, i'll (~bleep ) break you! ( cheers and applause ) so since this video we want viral, there's a big conversation now over whether the word fredo is a slur. some are saying it's a reference to the dumb brother in the godfather because cuomo has his brother and he's the dumber one who's in the news and entertainment, but some are also
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saying it's an ethnic slur. quoamo claimed it's like calling an italian person the n-word. to find out if that's true, we're joined by roy wood, jr., everybody! ( cheers and applause ) so, roy, is calling an italian fredo the same as calling a black person the n-word? ( laughter ) roy wood, jr., everyone! thank you so much, roy! ( cheers and applause ) in other news -- in other news, have you ever been to a stranger's house and seen things in their house that make you go like wow, i would really get along with this person? this story is the complete opposite. >> house hunters in michigan surprised to say the least the furnished home they were looking at had kkk paraphernalia on its laws. >> the cup were looking at the home on a large wood lot when
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they noticed something disturbing, the house belonged to miskeegan police officer charles chuck anderson. >> a full-wing confederate flag so i said, i'm not liking this. there was one plaque on the wall which said kkk application. i said, i was, like, i'm done. i want to get out of here right now. >> trevor: you know what i love about black people? they do not indulge danger. the guy saw a confederate flag, then the klan, and said, baby, we are out. we are out! out of here, we're not staying. will not stay. the uber is on the way, even though we drove ourselves. ( laughter ) we got to get out like in the movie "scream," come on, baby! ( laughter ) can i also just say i didn't realize the kkk had application forms? i love something new. i just thought they saw someone on the streets saying the n-word and said you start monday, good
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job! if the kkk has application forms, the odds are someone got denied. what reason would the kkk give for denying the application? does the guy say, everyone looks okay over here. yeah, in (~bleep ) paris. i wish they would go to paris. says that's a hip-hop song. i'm sorry, that's not gonna work. ( laughter ) some people are saying the owner having a confederate flag and klan memorabilia on his walls means he's a fan of the kkk, maybe he's just a history buff. you don't put things up on your wall if you're not a fan. no one's going to post hurricane katrina in your living room. that's not a thing. we're joined by roy wood, jr., everybody. help me out, is having a framed klan application on your wall something a casual history buff might do? ( laughter ) ( applause )
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roy wood, jr., everyone! thank you so much, roy! that's it for the headlines. let's move on to our top story! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ in the wake of the mass shooting in el paso and the arrests of domestic terrorists since then, everyone has been talking about the threat of white supremacy in the united states. in fact, even president trump admits that it's a major problem, which is a pretty big deal, because that would be, like, if hubs and shaw spoke out against speeding. jason came out and said, you know what's cooler than driving fast? going 55 and buckling your safety belt. ( laughter ) even most people in america has acknowledged the threat, one person still isn't convinced. fox news anchor and concerned face drawn on to a balloon tucker carlson. >> the whole thing is a lie. if you were to assemble a list, a hierarchy of concerns of problems this country faces, where would white supremacy be
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on the list? right up there with russia, probably. it's actually not a real problem in america. the combined membership of every white supremacist organization in this country would be able to fit in a football stadium. white supremacisty, that's a problem, it's a hoax, like the russia hoax, it's a conspiracy theory used to divide the country and keep a hold on power. that's exactly what's going on. >> trevor: wait, what? white supremacists aren't a threat because they can only fill a football stadium? my man, those stadiums hold 100,000 people! we shouldn't have enough white supremacists to fill a golf cart. that's how many we should have. ( cheers and applause ) we're talking numbers here. how many? how many of them are there? white supremacists are like babies on a plane, even one is enough to ruin your day. ( laughter ) and you do notice that tucker carlson only gives white terrorists this pass. like after 9/11 he wasn't, like, al quaida, what is it, 19 people? is this a real thing?
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call me when they can sell out a knicks game, okay? uh-huh. it's especially interesting that tucker doesn't think white supremacists are a real threat especially when you look at the other tests he talks about. >> if you're looking for threats to democracy, how about silicon valley? how did we wind up with a country where feminists do science, a country where you are afraid to touch people is a country we don't want to live in. kneeling during the nationa natl anthem is an attack on the united states. almost every nation on the earth has fallen under the oak of turny, the metric system. >> trevor: the metric system! whoo! the metric system is a threat to america but white supremacy is a hoax? i feel like tucker carlson would tell the lamest camp fire stories of all time, just be like, and then she heard a scratching sound coming from inside the door, and when she turned around -- it was cent meters!
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( laughter ) now, apparently soft peddling white supremacy didn't go over well with everybody. in fact, three big advertisers pulled out of tucker carlson's show after he said that. ( cheers and applause ) and something tells me his bosses at fox news didn't like what he said because, the very next day, he made a surprise announcement attend of his show. >> that's it for us tonight. tune in every tight 8:00 p.m., the shown that is the sworn enemy of lying, smugness and group think. by the way, i am taking several days off, headed to the wilderness to fish with my son, catch some brook trout. politics is important, fishing with your son sometimes more important, so i'm doing it. >> trevor: okay. that timing seems suspicious but who knows, maybe lots of people leave for fishing vacations on wednesday night also at 9:00 p.m. you never know when the fish are going to start biting! you never know! ( cheers and applause ) i do feel bad for tucker's son,
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though, because he probably knows what's up. tucker comes up, pack your rod -- pack your rod, son, we're going fishing. in the middle of the week? did you say something racist on tv again, dad? i'll get the tackle box. ( laughter ) some people will just say this is probably just a coincidence, just because tucker said something offensive and took a surprise vacation doesn't mean the two things are related. okay, maybe not, but it does seem to happen a lot over at fox. >> sudden vacation announcements have been a go-to move for trump tv. last week laura ingraham went on ava case after mocking hogg, sean hannity after exploiting the death of seth rich. jesse waters took time off after a lewd comment about ivanka trump. >> you go in hard enough, they drop the ball, perfect. good, glad he didn't run them over. also i'm going to be taking a vacation with my family so i'll be back on monday.
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try not to miss me too much. >> saturday also? ( laughter ) >> trevor: my favorite part is how the fox hosts try to casually slipped in to random conversation. sort of like how you used to buy condoms in high school, yeah, let me get a bag of doritos and a -- pack of condos -- and the cashier is like jerry, bring me over a box of condoms for the kid, please! i'm going to say extra small! ( audience reacts ) so almost everyone on fox has had to go on a surprise vacation after saying something controversial, but one vacation on fox is the greatest of all time. >> bill o'reilly took what he insisted was a pre-planned vacation after revelations he settled multiple sexual allegation. >> i grabbed vacation because it's spring and easter time. last fall i booked a trip that should be terrific. not going to tell you where it is.
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i'll have a full report when i return -- >> and he never 100. 100 -- and he never returned. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: oh, man! and he never returned. doesn't sound like a guy going on vacation, sounds like he got what could by the mob. let's just say riley is going on a permanent vacation. i'm chris cuomo. thanks for watching cnn (in italian accent). ( cheers and applause ) i still feel bad for the one fox viewer who waited for o'reilly to return. like, "bill's going to have so many great stores stories when he finally comes back!" these emergency vacations are such a staple for fox news i wouldn't be surprised they had their own travel agency. >> are you tired of hustle and bustle of being dropped by advertisers? want to get away because your bosses say you have to?
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then you need fox vacations, the travel agency for fox news hosts in trouble. we'll lift you off in the dead of night and bring you to an isolated spot where you can rant in peace. hang ten while spreading murder conspiracies. mock shootings survivors between rounds of beach volleyball, or share your views on white genocide with the fish. plus call now for our special forever vacation. you will have so much fun, you won't want to go back, which is great because you can't. fox vacations, relax. this will all blow over. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: have a great trip, guys! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) hashtag vacay. sonoma? i want wine with lunch...
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it's 11am, cindy. thanks, captain obvious. don't hate-like their trip, book yours with hotels.com and get rewarded basically everywhere. hotels.com. be there. do that. get rewarded. ok. family meeting! aww come on! i'm right in the middle of my show! busy. doing homework. i can hear you playing video games. that's me, honey! well, i'm going to t-mobile and for every iphone ten r i buy, they'll give me another one. but if you're all too busy... wait, what? you're getting iphone ten r's? awww yeah. the battery life on those is sick. oh, can you bring me back one? i can't pause this game. come to t-mobile and for each iphone ten r you get, get a second one on us.
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boots up as fast as 6 seconds when you're running late?at (whispers) it's switching time or how about a battery that lasts up to 12 hours? order up! now we're cooking. or how about one with virus protection built in? which.... would be helpful.... right... about... now.... yeah, if you want all that, switch to chromebook.
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>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a recording artist and songwriter from nigeria whose new album is called "african giant." please welcome burna boy! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ welcome to the show. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: nigeria in the house. >> yes, sir. >> trevor: welcome to the show, my friend. ( speaking in foreign language ) >> trevor: so many accolades have happened in your last year -- >> i don't want to cut you off. i have to tell you this. >> trevor: oh, hold on. >> this guy is a legend. i'm from nigeria and i used to spend a lot of time in south africa, and this must have been 2014, right, i went on this boat thing in cape town with some girl -- ( laughter )
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yeah. and then we was going in, and then you must have been coming out from someplace, i don't know. then it's like a big crowd starts saying, trevor! trevor! ( laughter ) you know? and then the girl i'm with, she's like, that's trevor noah. can i go -- i'm, like, you stay put. ( laughter ) you know, so after that, we got done and went back and started watching the whole everything. >> trevor: oh, man, i appreciate it. most people would have been like that's when i started hating you. that's a pretty dope story. thank you very much for that. thank you very much for that. but let's talk about that. you know, you have spent time in south africa, but you've also spent time traveling around the world. you know, for those who don't know you, they are definitely bound to know you. burna boy's music has been blowing up. drake sampled the sound -- >> drake?! ( laughter ) >> trevor: you've got so many
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huge artists who sample the sound, and when you hear songs in the club, you hear nigerian and african music. i'm fascinated how it's not even call, it's music. you have a specific title. you call it afro fusion. what's that mean? >> it's basically like a pizza, right? ( laughter ) hold on. i'm serious. ( laughter ) so it's like a pizza, right? >> trevor: okay. >> and then imagine the pizza. what's the main thing in the pizza that every pizza needs? it's the flower. >> trevor: the dough, the base. >> yeah. so afro beat is the base, right? >> trevor: okay. >> and now you can have any pizza you want, but you have the afro beat base. there's the hip-hop pepperoni. >> trevor: oh, okay, okay. i'm, like, hip-hop pepperoni. that's a good favor. >> there's the dance hall ham, you know, all types of -- you know, so i just kind of make a nice pizza. >> trevor: you're performing
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live everywhere. people love your music. you will be performing for us today. what's the song today? >> so i'm going to do a little medley. i'm going to, like, bring one of my songs from my other albubble. >> trevor: right. >> called "ye" and i'm going to fuse it with one of my songs from this album called "anybody." >> trevor: after the break, you're going to make us a pizza where we have all the toppings at the same time. "african giant" is available now! will be performing after the break for a special performance, we'll be right back, people! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ (cheers, applause) we hide hotel names. so you can score 4 star hotels at 2 star prices. (cheers, applause) ♪h-o-t-w-i-r-e hotwire.com♪ (chicken cackles)
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♪ can you tell me,. what's it gon be, gwagon ♪ or the bentley the girl dem riding with me ♪ i no fit, die for nothing my nigga, what's it gon be , ♪ gwagon or the bentley ♪ the girl dem riding with me i no fit die for nothing. ah hn hn ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ah hn hn ah hn hn ah hn hn ah hn hn ♪ gbese! i don charge my energy ♪i no get time for no enemy tori pe won le to mi ♪nothing wey person never see omo nothing wey person never see ♪forget i say fashi money soon expected ♪je ki awon padi e je m be i dey kaku dey gbese ♪jejeli jeje jeje i been dey answer them yes sir ♪now na me them they answer yes sir ♪respect is reciprocal even though una know sey i special
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♪ anybody wey no want to soji anybody wey no dey carry body ♪ nak am something eh hen nak am something ♪ to ba ta fele fele nak am something ♪ you wan chop where you never work shey na ♪ because me sef i never talk i look you. ♪ dey laugh you gan gan gan gidi gan gan gan ♪ i sha know sey the time go come omo ♪ i know sey the time go come when you no go fit lie no more ♪ omo omo life na turn by turn whether you like or not ♪ to ba ginger me ebeskele go burst kigbe je kan gbo o ♪ anybody wey no want to soji anybody wey no dey carry body ♪ nak am something eh hen nak am something
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yof your daily routine.lf so why treat your mouth any differently? listerine® completes the job by preventing plaque, early gum disease, and killing up to 99.9% of germs. try listerine® and for on-the-go, try listerine® ready! tabs™ >> trevor: well, that's our show for tonight. lights out with david spade is coming up next. but first here it is, your moment of zen. >> the man said he watched in disbelief monday as the tree was cut down and landed right on to a parked vehicle, totaling it. >> sounded like a beer can getting flattened, it was just a crunch. i hate to say
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