oh, right. nah, forget it. he was doing it for his kids, i get it. kids drive us dads crazy. sometimes i feel like they're raising us. am i right? captioning sponsored by comedy central the dale with trevor noah presents, this time only. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: this is "the daily show," everybody! thank you so much for tuning in! thank you for coming out! i'm trevor noah! the third democratic debate just literally moments ago and we're

coming to you live, people. don't believe me, check your watch. 11:00. see? told you. we'll get to what happened in the debate in a second. first, it's important to know the stakes coming in. unlike previous debates where all you needed to make it on the stage was a permission slip from your mom, this one had a hiring threshold for entry. only the top ten candidates made the cut. 11 if you include marianne williamson debating from the dimension of the mind. ( laughter ) it meant for the first time biden, warren and bernie were all on the same stage, yeah. so this was a major milestone in the primary campaign, which is why proper debate preparation was more important than ever. >> this morning the candidates are getting into debate mode in unusual ways. beto o'rourke jamming on the drums. andrew yang shooting hoops. pete buttigieg and amy klobuchar

sharing the same likes. buttigieg tweeting very funny, united. >> trevor: bound to happen, so many candidates flying to so many places, it was bound to happen. i feel bad anyone who sits next to a presidential candidate on the flight. let me tell you about my 12-point plan and how we'll get the country back. uh, can i sit next to the crying baby, please? the only one i would like on my flight is bernie sanders. he would stop some shit. how come 1% of the plane has 9 p% of the leg room? let's go to first class and kill them! ( laughter ) the candidates weren't the only ones preparing. abc news took extra measures to make sure things went smoothly. >> abc news hired local actors so producers could plan lighting and blocking techniques. we have senator bernie sanders, senator elizabeth warren, former representative beto o'rourke. >> trevor: wait, what?

i'm sorry, none of those people look like the candidates they're stand in for. the bernie guy has a mustache. the beto guy has a full beard. and the woman playing elizabeth warren isn't even native american. i don't know what that was about. they were only on stage for a few minutes and still polling better than bill de blasio. congratulations, bill. one of the interesting aspects of the democratic debate has been an unlikely pundit who emerged online. as per our debate night tradition, let's check in from orenthal j. simpson. >> yours truly. i encourage all of you to try to find some way to watch these debates because we have to know who these people are and what they're talking about. when it's over, do not listen to these pundits and alleged experts tell you who won the debate. you have the vote, you're the

expert. i'm just sayin' -- take care. >> trevor: yeah! you shouldn't listen to the experts! you know, those people who tell you that blood spatter can't be in two places and someone did the crime. just listen for yourselves. i'm not surprised. look at him. come on, guys, look at the way they did it with me. no scientists, no forensic experts. also, i do like o.j. making videos. because then i know where he is all the time. yeah. i look in the background -- palm trees, we're still safe. statue of liberty? where is he? ( laughter ) with ten democrats lined up and ready on the stage, it was time to begin the third democrat presidential debate, while most pitched their vision of america, kamala harris flashed forward straight to her debate with trump.

>> first i have a few words for donald trump who we all know is watching. so president trump, you spent the last two and a half years trying to sow hate and division among us and that is why we've gotten nothing done. and, now, president trump, you can go back to watching fox news. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: oh, kamala coming with the fire. did you have a crowd? you know trump is pissed off wherever he is right now. he's probably shouting at the tv. joke's on you! i got picture in picture! he was super furious. you know what? actually, you're fired again, omarosa, i'm done with you! kamala harris used opening remarks to go directly at donald trump. andrew yang went with cold, hard cash. >> it's time to trust you areselves more than our politicians. that's why i'm going to do something unprecedented tonight. my campaign will now give a

freedom dividend of $1,000 a month for entire year to ten american families, someone watching this at home right now. if you believe that you can solve your own problems better than any politician, go to yang2020.com and tell us how $1,000 will help you do just that. this is how we will get our country working for us again, the american people. >> trevor: look at asian oprah over here! giving everybody money? yeah! clearly yang is not willing to wait for the presidency to enact his policies. he's going to do them now. glad it's a cool moment. glad none of the others went thisaway. bernie, okay, i will do my free healthcare right now! drop your pants! everyone's getting a prostate exam right now! everyone is getting an exam! ( laughter ) speaking of healthcare, bernie has a health doctor because something is definitely off with his throat.

>> this country is movingen into a oligarchic form of society where a handful of billionaires control the economic and political life of this country. >> trevor: no, bernie! what happened to your voice? sounds all raspy and scratched up! sounded like someone gave him a comb and said, sir, this can help, and then he swallowed it. i miss his voice. bernie with a diminished voice is like luke skywalker with a burt knife. or o.j. with app a butter knife. i bet bernie miss his voice because the most contention topic was his medicare for all plan, specifically whether it's a good idea to replace all private run health insurance with a government run plan. >> when it comes to healthcare and the premiums i go with the doctor's creed which is do no

harm. while bernie wrote the bill, i read the bill and on page 8 of the bill, it says that we will no longer have private insurance as we know it. >> the problem, senator sanders, was that damn bill that you wrote and that senator warren backed is that it doesn't trust the american people. i trust the american people to make the right choice for them. why don't you? >> trevor: yeah, bernie, why don't you trust the american people? bern by is probably thinking because one in five americans believe in big foot. one in five people deciding healthcare, that's crazy! while buttigieg and klobuchar was going after bernie's healthcare proposal, juliaaán castro went after the king. >> i'm proposing medicare for choice. if you lose your healthcare, you

automatically can buy into this. the difference in what i and you support is you require them to opened in. in mine, they won't have to buy in. >> they do not have to buy in. you said two minutes ago they would have to buy in. you said they would have to buy in. >> they won't have to buy in. are you forgetting what you said two minutes ago? >> trevor: castro took it there! no, because he knows biden's battling the narrative that he's a forgetful old man so he jumped on this opportunity to mike biden look old. are you forgetting? biden couldn't hear, so he couldn't come back. so biden was, like, what did you just say to me? no, really, i forgot. what tid you just say? so that was healthcare. the next topic was criminal justice reform which was one part of the debate that had all the democrats pretty much on the same page, all agreed on reduced

sentences, right to fight racial bias and the snitches should get stitches. wasn't the most exciting topic, but things got tense when the moderator shanked kamala in the yard. >> also concern for people of color is criminal justice reform. senator harris you released your plan this week and i want continue districts your prior positions. number one, you used to oppose legalization of marijuana, now you don't. used to oppose investigation of police shooting, now you don't. when you had the power, why didn't you try to affect change then? >> trevor: ouch. i didn't believe in black on black crime until now. that question was hard core. less of a question and more of a public shaming. kamala was clearly not impressed. that's the face you make when

someone walks into the middle of a staff meeting and starts reading your browser history. penis pumps.com, hamster porn.net. myspace. kick that off! i was never on myspace! kamala is like i don't lock anyone up anymore but i'm willing to make an exception tonight. another topic that had democrats on the same page was the need for stronger gun control laws, but one candidate stood out amongst the rest. >> you said "americans who own ar-15s and ak-47s will have to sell to the government all of them. the critics call this confiscation. are you proposing taking away their guns and how will this work? >> i i am if it's a weapon designed to kill people on a battlefield. >> hell, yes, we'll take your ar-15 and ak-47 and not allow it to be used against americans anymore. >> trevor: a ballsy statement

from beto o'rourke because i don't think any other candidate said flat out they're going to con confiscate guns and he said it with confidence, which is not the way i would talk about takeig away assault rifles from people who would like to shoot. i would be more sneaky about it. trevor you here to take my rifle? i would be, like, no, no, no, just hanging out. what's that? so that's guns. next immigration. the candidates told the audience how they planned to undo the policies enacted by trump. no more kids in cages, increased legal immigration and more latitude to climb over the wall. but joe biden was more interested -- >> you serve a vice president in an administration that deported 3 million people, more than in

history. are you prepared to say tonight that you and president obama made a mistake about deportations? why should we trust you? >> this is a president who came along with the daca program. no one had ever done that. the president said he wanted to find a pathway for the 11 million undocumented in the united states of america. >> you didn't answer the question. >> i did. no, did you make a mistake with those deportations? >> the president did the best thing that was able to be done at the time. >> how about you? i'm the vice president of the united states. >> trevor: oh, that was not a good look for biden because this always happens, right, when obama is being praised, biden jumps into the picture. when obama is criticized, biden is i was the vice president. vice president doesn't do shit. they don't even give you keys to the white house, you have to wait for someone to unlock it for you. ( laughter ) you can't take all the credit and avoid all the blame. it would be like if people came to robin and said batman is

deranged he's a bad man and robin is, like, i'm just app sidekick. do you see robin signals? no, not the robin mobile, we don't have a robin cage. in fact, i'm underaged. this is creepy when you think about it. but biden was happy to run away from obama's record on deportations. candidates on stage wanted to make one thing very clear, they roll with the rock. >> i give credit first to barack obama for bringing us this far. we would not be here if he didn't have this courage. >> we all owe a huge debt to president obama. >> what i favor is something that barack obama wanted to do from the very beginning. >> i'm for barack. fulfilling the legacy of barack obama and you're not. >> trevor: wow, that's the power of barack obama almost four years later, so many democratic candidates are still trying to wrap themselves in his

legacy. he was getting so much love at tonight's debate i bet my shell- michelle was saying, you want to tell me something? we smashing these candidates? and barack obama is, like, no, baby, i was just the president. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) gatorade.

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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." as we move into the race, every week a democratic candidate is going to be dropping out, and it's a tough time for them to adjust back to society. you know, you don't think about it, but presidential candidates behave if ways that would be insane if normal people did it. if you were being romantic with your partner and flipped into policy you would look like a mad person. tell me what you want. i want a america that rises to the challenge of climate change. ah, this is like missionary, dude, calm down. for candidate that spent months behaving that way it would be nice to have a rehabilitation center to help them adjust back

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weirdo. >> because i have a baby doesn't mean you need to kiss it. >> but i need the photo op. no, no. no you don't, remember? you dropped out of the race because you were polling below bill de blasio. do you remember that? >> yeah -- no. no! >> our candidates stay in secure dorms which are regularly checked for contraband. >> what's this? that's not mine! oh! that's how you want to play this, huh? maybe i should read you your poll numbers. >> no! 1% among -- oh! at saving dreams, we're able to turn political has beens into their political has best selves. don't take our word for it, listen to satisfied clients. >> saving dreams taught me i don't have to shake hands we've one wherever i go. i still do but that's because i love shaking hands. it's a separate problem i'm

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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a "new york times" opinion columnist and political analyst for cbs news. please welcome jamelle bouie! ( cheers and applause ) so here we are. it is officially the third presidential democratic debate. >> right. >> trevor: you saw the ten strongest contenders. people were focused on the four up top. when you look at this debate fundamentally, do you think democrats are getting the right message across on the screen? >> i think that for the democratic primary voters who just really want to beat trump, that's the only thing they care about, kind of. the first 20 minutes of the debate was spent arguing about healthcare and healthcare was very important. but we've had that debate before, it's rehashing past things, and i think what a lot of democratic voters just want

to know is how capable are you going to be on the debate stage with trump, how able to are you going to be to beat trump? and some of that was discussed. a lot of other stuff was discussed as well as policy but i'm not sure the democratic voters are all that vested in these policies. >> trevor: do you think the d. j. voter should be more focused on who looks good on stage and has a feeling of being presidential because democratic voters will decide what happens. >> democratic voters want to beat trump and have firm ideas about what being electable means. the fact that trump is president means literally anyone is electable. so it's hard to figure out exactly who on that stage would be best to for that task. biden who polls well consistently high against trump, very conventional former vice president. is it bernie sanders who polls well against trump, much more left-wing views than biden. but, again, does well in the

head-to-head polls and a lot of biden voters like bernie and bernie voters like biden. there's no clear cut way to determine who is going to be the best up against trump, who is the most electable, and, so, part of what we saw at the debate was them trying to figure out ways to position themselves for this particular task while also trying to criticize on the issues where each have their niche. >> trevor: what's interesting is people want to pitch themselves as a president, and, at the same time, they want to pitch why they'd be a better president than obama without, at the same time, slamming obama for anything that he did. this seems to be like this weird balancing game. i loved obama but this is what obama -- obama was great but this is what i would do. how much more progressive do you think this field is than obama. do you think they have to find the balance or should they be, no, i'm doing to it differently. >> overall the field is more

progressive. things have moved to the left. even the centrist candidates are embracing policies obama wasn't ready to go for. you saw this in the debate where vice president biden said we didn't jail people, and juliaaán castro said, wait, i recall a very different immigration policy and immigration is going to be the issue where there is an attempt to trade distance with obama because a lot of democratic want a more liberal humane immigration policy, but there's a thing of wanting to show that i'm with the obama presidency, obama was a great president, i support him. and that's the thing that i think they're trying to figure out how to do. >> trevor: seems like, on healthcare, they have their arguments where people agree on the universal aspect. the main issue is private insurance, no private insurance, but people seem to agree on guns, background checks, et cetera. immigration seems to be the

places where people get tripped up. is there a win for democrats in the space of do you deport people or do you say that all immigrants who come into the country undocumented can stay? iis there a clean answer? >> i think there's a clean answer. i think some candidates, and castro is one, who made the case that you need to decriminalize some parts of border entry to make it you are not throwing people in jail for what are basically civil crimes. i think what democrats should embrace is the fact that public opinion is what political scientists call thermstatic, it moves in the opposite direction of the person in office. trump is anti-immigrant, and the public has been increasingly more pro immigrant, pro immigration, more pro immigration policies. they are politicians so they should try to be politicians and be a little vague but also

embrace the fact that americans have swung in the opposite direction and you really don't want a change in the terms of kind of immigration policy the government is doing. >> trevor: that's interesting when you say be a little more vague because there was one point where they were asking elizabeth warren will the taxes group, specifically will taxons the middle class go up, and biden, what will you do on immigration and bernie what will you do with the numbers. i was asking myself the question buzz trump have an answer because he basically lied on the stage. who pays for the wall, mexico. what about i.s.i.s.? i have a secret plan. does that give him an advantage in the debates. >> i think so. the strange thing is trump has no policy ideas. he says what's on his mind. he will give you whatever answer he needs to get to the next question and the next interaction. the press treats him like that. where everyone knows the democrat cares about stuff, so

the press treats them like they care. that's creating automatic asymmetry because when you care you want to get the details right and make sure you're not doing something terrible. if you don't care either way, if it does not matter to you what happens, if you're trying to pander to the greatest number of people like president trump often is, then you can say whatever, and it's hard to deal with that in the context of a 30-second response in the debate. >> trevor: tonight was an interesting night. we'll see how the numbers roll out. thank you so much for being on the show. jamelle bouie, everybody. we'll be right back. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) therthen he tried tostitoshael scoops and salsa...

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but there is so much more you want to do. new starbucks tripleshot energy. 225 mg of caffeine for the energy to do what matters to you. what gives you energy? ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: that's our show for tonight. thank you so much for tuning in. don't forget, i will be in columbus, ohio tomorrow night kicking off my tour "loud and