ng ] oh, no! oh, come on. ah! okay. [ screams ] what the [bleep]?! aah! turner! come here! ahh, [bleep]. turner! come here. [ groans ] [ whimpers ] [bleep] the south side. [ smacks lips ] ♪ i'm gonna miss you most of all, bluto. ♪ you're the captain now. i still have so many questions. [ car horn beeps ] you're ready. wait! just one more flex? [ sighs ] thank you. man, i wish i had bought that telescope. comet 67p is passing us right now.

yeah, you can still see it. what? [ chuckles ] my litcoin was only worth 65 bucks, but, uh, i found a real good use for it. oh, my god. no... no, you didn't. it's comet 67p, in chicago. i told you he'd recognize it on sight. 2.5 miles wide. hurtling through space at 84,000 miles per hour. nothing can stop it. it reminds me of me. it makes me feel small. it makes me want to visit the universe. ♪ that's why i will, i will ♪ praise his name ♪ every time i get a chance i will ♪ ♪ praise his name ♪ mmm, mmm ♪ praise his holy name ♪ i-i-i was born on the south side ♪ ♪ south side >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york,

this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," everybody! thank you so much for tuning in! thank you for coming out! let's do it! my name is trevor noah. our guest tonight is the man behind one of the most famous leaks of government secrets in history, edward snowden is joining us on the show, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) also on tonight's show, donald trump breaks out his sharpie again. ronny chieng finds robots in a bar, and justin trudeau has a very dark past. so let's catch up on today's headlines. ♪ let's kick it off with president trump's trip to the west coast. yesterday, the president popped into california to host some

fundraisers, talk about housing issues and stock up on edibles. easily the high light of his trip was getting to visit his favorite child the border wall. >> president trump took time from a fundraising trip to visit a chunk of bored wall in alta messa, california. he met with construction workers and was invited to sign the wall, which he did, with a sharpie. he boasted about the wall calling it the rolls royce of border barriers. >> it's designed to absorb heat, so it's extremely hot. the wall, you won't be able to touch it. so if they climb it they will have to bring hoses and waters and we don't know where water is. you can't cut it with a blow torch. this wall can't be climbed. we had 20 mountain climbers and this was the one hardest to climb. >> trevor: and so begins season one of mexican ninja warrior. ( laughter ) ( applause )

i will say, if you forget thesine phobia and all the racism, it's pretty cute how excited trump gets about his wall. he reminds me of little kids bragging about what they built out of lego -- it's super strong and this is for the policemen they can't break it, this one shoots lasers, and there's a booby trap for when the mexicans come. ( laughter ) it's also funny how trump signed the wall with a sharpie like he's worried we won't know who built it. he's so insecure. no other president physically signs their accomplishments. abraham lincoln didn't go up to the slaves and go, you're free! now hold still! the problem with trump is his enthusiasm gets him in trouble because he gets carried away and says steects that hest not supposed. >> to one thing we haven't mentioned is there's technology. they're wired so we will know if

someone is breaking through. you may want to discuss that, jerl. >> sir, there may be a good point in not discussing it. >> okay, i'll just tell you, they're wired. >> trevor: isn't that adorable? if you cut the wire right here, it won't work, but we won't tell them it's the red one. and kudos to the guard, there could be some merit in not discussing that, sir. that's the nicest way i ever heard someone say shut the (~bleep ) up. that's what that was. ( applause ) we should all start using that, right? next time you tell your boss your missed work for a funeral and your co-worker said but you said you were at the beach, you should say, there could be some merit in not discussing that, bob. moving on to an alarming new report about air travel. >> do you have a flight coming

up be careful about what you drink because a new study looked at water safety from a dozen aerials and the cleanest is alaska, alegionn't, hawaiian air, frontier and southwest, while the dirtiest is on board delta, american, united, jetblue and spirt airlines. that might surprise you. they suggest sticking with bottled water and avoiding coffee and tea. use hand sanitizer instead of watching your hands in the bathroom. >> trevor: turns out if you have been drinking water on a plane your bowels may be in danger. this was surprising to me because i always knew the water in the bathroom wasn't for drinking. you use that to wash your feet. but i didn't know the water they serve you can also be dirty. how does it get that bad? do they take the hot towels from business class and squeeze the water into cups for economy? what is that taste? sir, that is the taste of success. ( laughter ) and that list was pretty interesting as well.

alaska at the top and all the way at the bottom is spirit airlines. i know some people think spirit should be ashamed to be number ten, but to be honest i was impress they did had water on their flight. normally the only refreshments on spirit is your tears of regret. spirit airlines, our water is the least of your problems. ( laughter ) ( applause ) and finally, tomorrow is september 20th, the big day when everyone is supposed to raid area 51. and although this thing started out as a joke, turns out they might actually find something. >> the u.s. navy confirms u.f.o. videos made public by the naples and a u.f.o. research group in 2017 are the real deal. >> images of that rotating thing captured by u.s. navy aircraft, sensors locking in on the target. command david fraver saw it first hand during a training

mission describing it like a 40-foot long tic tac. >> the ability to hover and start a vertical climb from zero to 12,000 feet and accelerate in less than two seconds and disappear is something i had never seen in my life. >> the navy says it still country doesn't know what the objects are and officials aren't speculating. >> trevor: holy shit, i hope that's a u.f.o. because if it was a giant tic tac, that's creepier. you understand what's happening? the u.s. government is officially confirming -- officially -- that in 2017, the navy saw a u.f.o. and i hope -- i really hope it is an -- it isn't aliens because it would be a bad time for them to visit earth. they would land and be, like, take us to your leader and we would be, like, sorry but he's signing a wall right now. ( laughter ) let's move on to our top story. ( cheers and applause )

justin, canadian prime minister and hot dad in a disney channel movie. ever since he came into office he has been embraced as woke baby everyone from liberals to all the women in trump's family. i mean, look at that, ivanka's looking at trudeau the way tekashi six nine looks at witness protection. the reason trudeau is popular is he's a women's right advocate, a gamp chun for minority reforms and active in connecting with minority communities. now we're learning he may have connected with minority communities too much. >> the reelection campaign of canadian prime minister justin trudeau is suddenly in turmoil after a photo surfaced of him wearing brown face. >> this photo newly discovered by "time magazine" shows him in brown face nearly two decades ago. the picture from the 2000-2001 school book of the private school where trudeau was a

teacher shows the then 29-year-old wearing a turban, robe and dark makeup. >> trevor: so many problems with the photo. first of all, it's obviously never okay to do black face, and secondly if you darken your skin, get the color right. trudeau isn't dressed as aladdin, that's not the crore of aladdin! he didn't need the brown face to make the costume work, he's in a full aladdin outfit in an aarabian nights themed party. nobody would ask, are you the snow man from frozen? ( laughter ) "time magazine" published this photo of canada's prime minister in brown face. trudeau flew straight to a press conference to apologize. >> in 2001, when i was a teacher, i was in van door, i attended an end-of-year gala where the theme was aarabian nights and i dressed up in

aladdin costume and put makeup on. it was something that i didn't think was racist at the time, but now i recognize it was something racist to do. i've always -- and you will know this -- been more enthusiastic about costumes than is somehow -- is sometimes appropriate. >> trudeau says he wore black face for a black performance where he sang the harry belafonte song dao. >> when i was in high school i dressed up at a talent show and sang dao with makeup on. ( laughter ) >> trevor: this is not good, man. because you realize what happened? trudeau came out to apologizing for one blackface and admitting to more. i did brown face when i did aladdin and blackface with dao. and if you excuse me, daylight's

coming and me want to go home. ( laughter ) ( applause ) it's also funny how trudeau said he only did this because he's more enthusiastic about costumes than appropriate. besides being problematic, it sounds like justin trudeau would be the most annoying person on halloween. if he commits that much, i bet his wife is like, have you seen my keys? me not justin, me hulk! hulk, have you seen my keys? hulk eat keys! hulk need doctor! ( laughter ) two instances of what was would be enough. but turns out we can't even call this a what was controversy anymore because apparently trudeau has been going full body. >> video uncovered by global news which has been verified containing images of liberal leader justin trudeau in blackface makeup. it's pretty grainy. we are looking at justin trudeau in this video. you see that he has blackface

makeup on covering his face, neck, arms and hands and you can see between the tears in his genes there that he also appears to have the makeup down his legs as well. >> trevor: he has it on his legs -- like he's wearing jeans, but he still did the legs? this guy's committed. ( laughter ) no, because most people do the face but trudeau was, like, black neck, black back, black pussy, back crack, i'm doing all of it. ( laughter ) besides from the obvious offensiveness, having black makeup on your entire body must have caused a lot of problems. the whole day you're leaving makeup on door knobs, getting it on food, it must be terrifying for any white person he met who didn't know he was in black face. because if you touch them you leave a blackprint and white people are panicking, black people make other people black, oh, my god! i heard about this on facebook! ( laughter ) with the canadian election one

month away, many are wondering if the blackface scandal will hurt trudeau's chances of being elected. to be honest, i'm sad seeing another black man being brought down. ( laughter ) it breaks my heart. ( applause ) you know, when you look at trudeau and all these new stories of blackface coming out every day, at some point, we have to admit that this problem is bigger than some people would like to believe, all right, from the governor of virginia to multiple tv stars and every frat party in town, it seems that when white people get their hands on brown makeup, they just cannot help themselves. so we need to treat this like the epidemic that it is, which is why today, ladies and gentlemen, i am proposing a buyback program to get blackface off the streets. i also think we need red flag laws -- if you hear your white friend talking about buying an

afro wig for the school talent show, we thede to stop it before it happens. and for those people who have a blackface photo who hasn't come out yet, we need one day of amnesty where you can put it online without getting cancelled. don't use this as an excuse to make new blackface photos. i see you white people! old photos only. last but not least, we need makeup companies to take responsibility for the products they sell. clearly these things are dangerous. so from now on, all those makeup ads need to be a lot more like this. >> i want a makeup that's made for me. >> i want a makeup that speaks to the truth of my color. >> and i want to look like a black person. >> um, i don't think you want to do that. >> no? >> no. >> and with the new all shade hallette, i can find the shade that fits my tone. >> it's not just makeup, it's who i am. >> and i want to go as pressure prince for halloween.

>> i swear to god if you put that on -- >> okay, so look at this color palette right here. you're going to want to stay on this side of the palette. maybe at a long day at the beach you would be maybe right here but that's about it. >> i see, actually, because of the racism. >> yes. >> fenty butte. >> don't do blackface. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: we'll be right back, everybody! therthen he tried tostitoshael scoops and salsa... and he started following them in real life. ♪ hey, mike. sup. oh! tostitos. get together already.

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climate change is on the rise and our leaders are uninspiring, which is why, right now, more than ever, we need to come together and drink heavily, i'm talking the hard stuff, all day every day. this entire summer i've drunk nothing but spiked seltzer and it's the most refreshing way to get (~bleep ) up. #hot girl summer. >> trevor: i think you may have a problem with your drinking. >> no, you have a problem with my drinking, okay. in fact, drinking is the only thing going right in the world. but now some tech assholes are trying to mess it up. >> think of it as an electronic bouncer. one company is called patron scan used at bars and clubs worldwide. it scans your information when you enter. according to patron scan it only collects your name, date of birth, photo and zip code and gender. >> do you trust them? >> it's 2019, thanks to facebook, our information is already everywhere, even

starbucks has my blood type. cacappuccino for asiano negativ? yeah, that's me. aside from the bouncers, another thing technology is messing up in bars, the most important thing, getting the drink. >> ever have someone else get served at a bar even though you were there before them? a bar in london is using artificial intelligence to ever prevent that from happening. eth called 5cc harold and sons and they use a.i., artificial intelligence, to determine who is next in line for a drink. the system use as facial recognition system to put people into a virtual queue. >> seriously? people need technology to help them get served? i already have a system. i go up to the person in front and tell them their mom died. then they run out crying and ronny gets his grey goose and gatorade! >> trevor: ronny, i can't believe you're lying to people about their moms like that. >> trevor, in a bar, it's survival of the fittest, okay. if you can't get the bartender's

attention, then maybe you don't deserve a drink, okay. that's how i worked for thousands of years in the jungle. it's called evolution, look it up. and if you're a bartender who thinks all this technology is going to make your job easier, think again. >> welcome to the tipsy robot where the bartender never underpours or overpours and isn't much of a conversationalist. that's the par tender. tony the robot can make 80 drinks an hour just about any combination you like and never gets it wrong. the maker shaker gracefully moves from bottle to bottle, said to be modeled after the movements of an italian choreographer. >> okay, so you're telling me these movements were inspired by an italian choreographer? ( laughter ) more like a guy jacking off on the el train. who cares if the robot makes 80 drinks an hour. can he be my friend and listen

to my problems? i need a bartender who says you're too good for your wife. ronny, let me talk to your wife, ronny, i'm going on vacation request w your wife. >> trevor: ronny, sounds like you're having problem with your marriage. >> no, i'm having problems with my marriage. excuse me, it's happy hour and i think someone's mom just died. >> trevor: ronny chieng, everybody! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) i will make sure you get home. it's 2,000 miles away. are you crazy? [ "go your own way" by fleetwood mac ] i promised to take everest home. and he's not home yet. you can do magic? woo hoo! this is amazing! i'm on the pill.ill. i'm on the pill. i'm on the pill, too. but it's not birth control. it's truvada for prep®, a once-daily prescription medicine for adults that, when taken every day along with using safer sex practices, can help lower my chances of getting hiv through sex.

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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a former n.s.a. contractor who, in 2013, leaked classified information, exposing the u.s. government's system of mass surveillance. his new memoir is called "permanent record," and he joins us remotely from russia where he lives in exile. please welcome edward snowden. ( cheers and applause ) edward snowden, welcome to the show. >> good to be home. >> trevor: let's jump straight into the back because i don't know how long you have in that secret hideout where you're doing this interview from. >> it's just my apartment in moscow. ( laughter ) >> trevor: okay, okay. don't tell us where it is. don't pull a trump here, dude. come on. some people call you a patriot, others believe that you're a traitor. do you think this book will change people's perceptions and what do you see yourself as?

>> well, when i set out to write this book, i wasn't trying to change opinions, i was just trying to tell the story of what has happened. i'm just an ordinary person. i'm like you. whistleblowers aren't like -- you know, we aren't elected, we're not exceptionally skilled. the thing that puts us in place, the thing that makes the disclosure matter are the facts. it's really about what you see rather than what you are. >> trevor: right. >> so we're kind of elected by circumstance. the government just sued me on the day this book hit the shelves. >> trevor: right. >> you can say it was born of crime. ( laughter ) >> trevor: touché. >> the book was not getting that much attention. it was, like, 25 on the charts, and then the government said, you know, we don't want you to read this book. they said, god, sue snowden as fast as you can, do anything you

can, stop it, stop it, stop it. now we're number one basically everywhere. so you could say the attorney general is the best front man i've ever had. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: what can people do to protect themselves and their data, or is this something we should just give up? >> the united states is one of the only advanced democracies on the planet that doesn't have a basic privacy law, so they say data protection laws, right, and we've had advances since 2013, we have lots of ways to be safer, but then we talk about what all these guys are doing and how they're monitoring all of us. they say, well, data protection laws, but the problem with data protection laws is that it presumes the data collection was okay, and that the the problem. the question for you is how do you want to live? we are today being used against the future. we're being used against our children. everything we do now lasts forever, not because we want to

remember it, but because we're no longer allowed to forget. >> trevor: one thing that really struck me from the book is i think a lot of people don't realize how young and normal you are and were before this happened to you. like you're just a young guy who likes computers and plays video games and, like, i know that you actually have to pirate games because you can't use a credit card because them people can track you. so, like, what games -- are you a fortnight person? what games does edward snowden play? >> i played fortnight recently. i spent like a week on it and got really mad because their matchmaking system, man, they just put people who don't know what the hell they're doing in with the world's greatest pros. i'm, like, come on, i'm 36 years old, man, i can't keep up with these 12-year-olds. ( laughter ) >> trevor: i just want to say thank you so much for your time. the book is illuminating, everyone has benefited from what

you've done. one question to that regard, do you think you've made a difference, or do you think you've just been a big story? like is our data safer, has the government changed its tactics, or was this all for knotting? do you live in russia for knotting? >> there's no question -- and this is covered in the book, it's actually the final chapter is sort of an overview of what's changed, there's no question the entire structure of the internet has changed since 2013. the world's biggest technology companies good and bad, for privacy, have re-engineered the kind of protections that we experience that you don't even see simply because they realize the government was sort of going in under cover of darkness and helping themselves to the buffet without anybody noticing. our laws have changed. our international standards have changed. but the most important thing -- and this is what i think people forget -- is you don't look for some guy to come out of a building and save the world,

that's not how life works. what 2013 did, the most important thing that no one can ever change, is, before 2013, the idea of mass surveillance, people knew it was possible, there were technologists and academics and people who suspected this was going on, but it was kind of a conspiracy theory because it was a suspicion, and that distance between suspicion and fact is everything in a democracy. that is all we have in a free society because if we can't agree on what is happening, how can we decide what we should do about it? government in a democracy derives its legitimacy from the consent of the governed, and the biggest problem in 2013 was that consent is only meaningful if it's informed, and they lied to us. >> trevor: edward snowden, thank you so much for joining us on the show. good luck in fortnight. "permanent record" is available now. edward snowden, everybody.

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♪ so you can bring the heat. ♪ nothing beats gatorade. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: well, that's our show for tonight. "lights out with david spade" is coming up next. but first, here it is... your moment of zen. >> there's a nightclub in france with these dancers that are robots. >> are you a lonely robot looking for a good