- well, this has been an interesting week in south park. we've all done a lot of growing this week. everyone was afraid to take a stand on this issue. but now we have learned once again that black, white, yellow, brown or whatever, we are all just people. and so, i am very excited to unveil our new south park flag! [cheers and applause] - wait, i don't get it. - no, see, there's people of all colors. and they added a black guy as one of the hangers too, so it's not racist. - hooray! - i have to admit it, that is a lot nicer.

- whew! i'm sure glad that's over with! - me too! - i can't believe how right bebe was about feeling under pressure with somebody. as soon as it was over, all my feelings for you just vanished! - oh, yeah, yeah, totally. - i'm totally back to normal, see ya later! - yeah, see ya later. "ho," huh-huh. - ha-ha! stan! stan, wait up! - [sigh]

>> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show." thanks so much for tuning in. thanks for coming ut. take a seat. my guest tonight is the former governor of south carolina and is now running as a republican presidential candidate. mark sanford will be joining us, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: also on tonight's show, exercise is damaging your brain. ronny chieng tells you why you shouldn't donate to charity, and donald trump is getting impeached. ( cheers and applause ) wow, you guys love ronny chieng.

( laughter ) let's catch up on today's headlines. let's start with good news and some bad news. the bad news is global temperatures are continuing to rise, thanks to climate change and hot girl summer. ( laughter ) but the good news is elon musk has a backup plan. >> elon musk says his vision of sending humans to the moon and mars could soon become a reality. the spacex c.e.o. showed off the latest version of his towering stainless steel starship rocket saturday in texas. he called the vehicle the critical breakthrough that will make space travel like air travel. >> there are many problems in the world and we need to solve them, but we also need things that make us excited to be alive, that make us glad to make up in the morning and be fired up about the future, and this is, i think, the most inspiring thing that i've ever seen. ( laughter ) >> trevor: okay. i love elon musk, but what the hell is this thing? no, maybe i'm spoiled because

i'm used to his inventions looking cool and futuristic but if i'm going into space i'm not going in a giant dildo mirror. ( laughter ) i don't know what that thing is. even elon musk thinks this is weird because he held a press conference in the middle of the night. imagine if your friend was, like, so i'm dating this guy and he's really cool. can we meet him? yeah, but only in a corn field at midnight. ( laughter ) if you're trying to sell us on space travel, stop saying you will make it the new air travel. everyone hates air travel because now you just think it's going to be in space. so instead of getting excited about space, thinking about my flight will get canceled and i'm stuck on mars. having to deal with t.s.a., get ready for probing. ( laughter ) last thing i would like to do is

sit next to a crying baby for 16 years. they're crying and by the time we land it's a crying man. waaaa, waaa, waa! ( laughter ) the next story, if elon musk is look for someone crazy enough to fly his rocket, i know the right person. >> we torn to a school bus driver allegedly drunk on the job in washington state. the frightening video from inside the bus and you can hear the children screaming in here. ( screaming ) >> police say the driver 48-year-old catherine maccarone was under the influence while behind the wheel this month. >> you're crazy! >> i'm totally crazy! >> the boy calling 911 to tell them his driver sped through three red lights. maccarone later arrested. >> trevor: seeing this bus driver removed brings up

parents' worst nightmare -- having to take your own kids to school. there's probably one dad out there who's, like, she's drinking? they better fire away -- how much was she drinking? because, i mean -- ( laughter ) and these kids will probably never drink and drive after this experience because trauma is way more powerful main 30 second p.s.a. that you can give kids. they will be, like, drunk driving. like, that lady, i don't want to drink and drive. if smokey wanted to prevent forest fires, just light a few third graders on fire. if a bear lit your friend on fireworks that shit stays with you forever. ( laughter ) the bus driver is in trouble. i think this is a double standard. the woman drives a bus drunk and gets awested, denzel flys a plane crunching and gets an oscar nomination. a double standard. ( laughter ) for those of you who live at the gym, may want to find a new

home. exercise isn't what it's cracked up to be. >> a study finds too much exercise might be bad for the brain. research find athletes who overtrain made more impulsive choices when it came to finance, eating habits and self-care. that's because they displayed fatigue in the cognitive control part of the brain, likely to cause trouble decision making. >> trevor: people who don't work out, these studies come out, that's why i don't work out. you weren't working out before the study. what about the the twinkies, is that from a study? ( laughter ) essentially your brain only has so much energy for decision-making. explains why we make good decisions in the morning and terrible decisions at night. we've all offed heard of a one night stand. never heard of a one morning stand because we're thinking straight. we never hear, i woke up from my nap and stranger was lying next

to me! the decisions get worse as the day goes on. i'm going to eat alsecond tub of ice cream to is second tub doesn't feel lonely. aaahhh! let's move on to the headlines. the top story, a week ago the white house was rocked after a whistleblower accused the president of using his office to dig up dirt on joe biden. democratic frontrunner and teeth whitening spokesman. then the nation was rocked when nancy pelosi, speaker of the house and a woman who always looks like she walked in on your mastemarts baiting, the fantastc absolutely tremendous road to impeachment. >> no other president should ever have to go through -- >> probably presidential harassment. ( cheers and applause )

>> trevor: donald trump is in hot water right now for apparently using his office for his own political gain, and while we're still trying to digest the details of his call with the leader of ukraine, we're finding out he may have done it more than once. >> nbc news confirmed what the "new york times" recor reported president trump asked another foreign leader, this time the prime minister of australia, to help investigate his conspiracy theories around the origins of the now complete mueller investigation. from that "new york times" story, "president trump pushed the australian prime minister during a recent telephone call to help ag william barr to garth information for a justice department inquiry that mr. trump hopes will discredit the mueller investigation." >> trevor: yes, now record that after the mueller report was released, donald trump asked australia's prime minister to help him get information that would discredit robert mueller's report. this could be bad for two

reasons -- one, it would mean the trump has been using the presidency for his personal vendetta machine and, two, using world leaders as personal errand boys. running around, ukraine, i need you to investigate joe biden and son. spain, i need you to find the pies with the fruit in middle, emp nadas, i want those ones. ( laughter ) what started as a scandal about a call to ukraine is snowballing bigly. i don't know for certain how trump is dealing with this shit but judging by the 87 tweets he released over the weekend, doesn't seem like he's taking it well. i get it. not only are democrats trying to impeach his ass but polls are showing every day more and more americans are in favor of proceedings to impeach his ass. luckily for trump a group of supporters won't leave him,

republican lawmakers. >> the president didn't do anything wrong. >> we've seen the transcript, tropical storm nothing there. >> i'm glad president trump continues to look into the interference so it doesn't happen again. >> when i read the transcript, i see two leaders having admiration not intimidation. >> what do you make of this exchange? president zelensky says we are almost ready to buy more javelin's from the united states for defense purposes, and president trump replies, i would like you to do us a favor, though. >> you just added another word. >> no. >> i would like you to do a favor, though? >> yes, it's in the transcript. >> trevor: that is the face of someone who knows he done (~bleep ) up. ( laughter ) because i love how he pounced on the journalist because he thought he had a moment, he thought he was going to common rate trump. he's like, though! guys, he said, though. oh, okay. he goes, if my client is guilty,

how do you explain this knife? that's the murder weapon we were looking for! aaahhh! what knife? ( laughter ) no surprise most republican lawmakers are standing is president trump, but what is surprising is they're arguing not only did trump not do anything wrong, but the real bad guy is the one who reported the crime in the first place. >> who is this whistleblower? why did they pick this whistleblower to tell a story. >> i know the difference between a whistleblower and a deep state operative. this is a deep state operative pure and simple. >> rotten snitch, ide love to whap him. >> i want to know about him, what kind of dogs they have, what kind of marriages they have, if they have a d.u.i., what dog they have,. >> trevor: i want to know his a.o.l. password, i want to know if his hair stands up if you whisper hello handsome into his

ear, i want to know it all! ( laughter ) trump supportser are desperately trying to figure out who the whistleblower is. that person is in a precarious situation which is why lawmakers and journalists are saying it's important to protect this person's identity at all costs. no one wants the identity coming out. for more and what's being done to protect the whistleblower, we go to seen your white house correspondent roy wood, jr., everybody! ( cheers and applause ) >> hey, trevor! >> trevor: the whistleblower is under intense scrutiny and there's concern that their identity may be leaked by the press. what is being done to protect them? >> that's exactly right, trevor, certain details about this person's identity have already been reported by the "new york times," but i spoke with them this morning, and there's -- >> trevor: wait, wait, wait, him? so you're confirming that it's a man? >> trevor, gender is a spectrum,

okay. ( laughter ) we don't know how he identifies. >> trevor: well, you just said he again. >> all right, damn it, it's a man, all right? you got me. it's my bad, i gave you that one. but i can tell you this about the man, trevor, he's scared, i could sense it. i looked deep into the blue eyes of this 6'4" brown-haired gentleman and he's terrified, terrified that some careless journalist would reveal his identity, or her identity. >> trevor: you already told us his. but what else did you guys talk about? >> uh, well, we talked about the ukraine call, of course, and we talked about th the fallout from the complaint. you will like this, baseball plays are starting. he thinks the brewers will make a run. he's a big brewers fan since he grew up outside milwaukee. >> trevor: roy! >> what? i just said milwaukee, i didn't say which state. >> trevor: roy, you need to be more careful, you could be putting him and his family at risk!

>> no, don't worry about his family. i spoke to his wife marsha, she's straight. ( laughter ) marsha's fine. she has her hands full. it's bird migration season and she's one of the world's leading researchers of the yellow-billed can you cakuckatoo. >> trevor: you're narrowing it so much. please try to be less specific. >> oh, and ignore her accomplishments, trevor? she's just as much a hero to their son kevin, jr. as her husband. ( laughter ) who, as we know, needs to remain anonymous. >> trevor: kevin, jr.'s father kevin, sr. is count counting on you to keep his identity a secret! >> trevor! you're going to blow his cover! do you have any idea what it's like to be held up in a holiday inn on the outskirts of virginia? 730-427 -- i got to warn kevin. kevin! it's roy!

get marsha and your kids! kevin blew your cover! >> trevor: you said the number! you said the number, roy! ( cheers and applause )

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♪ >> thanks, trevor. at this point, i think we can all agree that the internet is basically giving us all brain damage, okay? social media is constantly bombarding us with information we don't care about, like what my friend ate for breakfast or what my mom is watching on tv or when my wife had our baby, ugh! p t point is social media is destroying everything. look at this guy who went viral for the dumbest thing possible. >> carson king thought he would get a few lives and maybe a few bucks on college game day with this sign asking for beer money and his actual number for a venmo account. the money poured in. >> king raised more than a million bucks all told. this guy got a million dollars for beer! are you kid meg?

all he did was hold up a sign. this guy does it on tv and he's a rearo. but when i held up a sign demanding money, all of a sudden i'm a bank robber and i took hostages, which is like a federal offense. and the fact this even worked was stupid, trevor, but not as stupid as what he did with the money. >> he decided he'd donate all of it minus the cost of one case of beer to the university of iowa children's hospital, it overlooks the hawkeyes possible field where home games fans turn and wave to the kids. during the news venmo and busch beer vowed to match the funds. >> wow, he gave all the money to the children's hospital. what an incredible insult to all the hard working americans who thought it was for beer. ( laughter ) yo, at least he bought, like, one case of beer, okay? although now there's just going to be some kid who's $12 short of a new kidney. ( laughter ) sorry, timmy, we ran out of money, but we did put this empty

can of bud lite in you. let's see what happens. ( laughter ) if you think this story didn't getter, no good deed goes unpunished. >> the des moines register profiled king and dug up a couple of racist tweets when king was 16 on to b. tosh.0 l0. >> ifsz really upset with my s. >> the guy who raised over $6 d racist jokes ten years ago. is he good or bad? at least there's a clear lesson, never donate money you get for beer to a children's hospital. because you only get famous if you donate the money. if you keep the money, no one

cares, you're rich. if you think this story doesn't get stupider, you're as wrong as the feelings itch for my great grandmother, because after a reporter exposed the guy's old tweets, the reporter himself got his own 15 minutes of shame. >> the internet users angry about the paper digging up old tweets did digging of their own, this time on reporter aaron calvin, andlow and behold they uncovered derogatory tweets and african-americans, gay people and women. the des moines register then fired calvin saying "we took appropriate action because there's nothing more important than having readers' trust." ( applause ) >> trevor: that's right, the report who are found the racist tweets had even worse racist tweets. a classic case of the pot calling the kettle the n word. which is why i always say don't point fingers on the internet because the internet will finger you right back. so there you have it. the guy who raised the money is

canceled, the reporter is canceled, i think the beer got canceled and everything continues to be stupid. >> yes, but i think it's still a happy ending because at least the sick kids are going to get that money. >> actually, trevor, i dug out some of these kids' tweets and -- >> trevor: ronny chieng, everybody! we'll be right back! >> please! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ you spend days researching bed sheets. and weeks picking a dog bed. so why would you settle for just any bank? just do what you do with everything else. ask the internet! ask your friends.

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no. in the basement. why can't we just get in the running car? are you crazy? let's hide behind the chainsaws. smart. yeah. ok. if you're in a horror movie, you make poor decisions. it's what you do. this was a good idea. shhhh. i'm being quiet. you're breathing on me! if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. it's what you do. let's go to the cemetery! ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a candidate for the republican nomination for president in 2020. please welcome former south carolina congressman and governor mark sanford. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show." >> treat to be here. >> trevor: you are doing what many experts believe is the

impossible. you are running against donald trump for the republican nomination. why would you embark on a suicide mission? ( laughter ) >> because it's a really important one and, whether i'm successful or not, i think we have to have a conversation about where we're going as republicans and a country. >> trevor: so let's start with that conversation. ( cheers and applause ) >> yeah. >> trevor: and let's ask the questions, where do you think republicans have lost their way? in your opinion, what do you think the republican party has lost under donald trump? >> a number of things. it used to be likely hall m of the republican party, if you stop and think about this notion of financial stewardship, whether you agree or disagree, at least republicans were recognized for trying on that front. if you look at debt and deficits and government spending, they've spun indeed out of control under this president's watch. he's called himself the din kinf the debt and we're headed for trouble on that front.

we're missing it on looking inward versus outward. what distinguished our civil regulation from the time of world war ii or i has been an outward look at profited this nation mildly on different levels, i think we're missing it with regard to institutions. if you stop and think about it, institutions are the framework that hold the balance of power that our founding fathers put in place, and what the president's doing when he says jerome powell is chairman to have federal reserve is the enemy of the state, what you're really doing is degrading the institutional framework that holds our balance of power in place and, finally, the president is missing it on tone. you can say the right thing in the wrong way and no one is listening. in the congressional district i used to represent, lirltly working moms, soccer moms, millennials turned away in drove so much so that that district which has been republican the last 50 years went democrat all largely based on tones. so those would be for keys to where i'm coming from.

>> trevor: that's interesting, bringing up tone and the way you say things. could it be construed that what you're saying is that what donald trump is not necessarily the worst but the manner he does it in is particularly bad? so would you be selling to people basically a pg version of trump's ideas? ( laughter ) no, i don't want to leave you misinterpreted because, when you say tone is major thing, do you think those voters went we like the policies but not the way he speaks? >> yeah, a lot of conservatives like what he's getting at when it comes to conservative judiciary or tax cuts or deregular, they like those things on agenda, but also they're saying we're not putting up the tweets, we're sick of it. there's something wrong with a person standing in a bathrobe at 3:00 a.m. tweeting out messages. you're with me? >> trevor: you're assuming he's wearing a bathrobe. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> fair enough.

fair enough. >> trevor: but i understand what you're saying. >> it's not leadership and it's not -- it's not engaging the way that leaders have to engage with folks that braibt change, whether that's at the elected level or whether that's at the voter level. >> trevor: what are you offering republican voters, then? why would they leave trump to vote for you? >> i'm offering them truth, which is the economic -- when he talks about a great economy, it's an economy faked based on credit card build out. we have to have conversation on that front. what i'm offering is simply saying this is the truth, and we can pretend there's a great economy because we're propping it up, we can pretend these jobs will be there, but they're not if you look at the math behind where we're headed as a nation and we're headed there quickly. >> trevor: final question, as a republican who says you're not drinking the kool-aid, let's talk about the news that's happening now. you have donald trump facing

impeachment, you have donald trump, his white house releasing transcripts of calls between him and ukraine, you have news breaking today about australia and its elite and him using barr and mike pompeo on the phone. what do you make of this? first, most importantly, do you think what he did was appropriate with regard to ukraine? >> no. >> trevor: do you think it was an impeachable offense? >> i don't want to pre-judge the process. it would seem to me the logical answer is yes. i'm not on the committee of jurisdiction. i want them to go through their process, but it would seem to me at first glance it would be. as president of the united states why say we want to get an attorney general involved with a foreign power to wipe out a domestic foe, that crosses is line. >> trevor: i guess you're not drinking the kool-aid. thanks for being on the show. good luck with the race.

mark sanford, everybody. we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ hey! your science project. thanks, dad. toyota. let's go places. ♪

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♪ ♪ c'mom and say it now. ♪ just let the words come out. ♪ give me your love. ♪ no calories. no sweeteners. all smiles™. bubly sparkling water. crack a smile™. >> trevor: that's our show. thanks for tuning in. "lights out with david spade" is coming up next. but first, here it is... your moment of zen. >> the password is server. >> what brought things different -- changed the component was that the conversation the president had was stored in a super secret