for fingerbang! all: ♪ fingerbang ♪ bang bang ♪ fingerbang bang ♪ bang bang bang ♪ i'm gonna fingerbang bang you into my life ♪ ♪ girl, you like to fingerbang and it's all right ♪ ♪ because i'm the king of fingerbang ♪ ♪ let's not fight ♪ ♪ i'll just fingerbang bang you every night ♪ ♪ i'll fingerbang bang you every night ♪ - cha! [clapping] yes, yes! thank you, yes! - we made $2. - you were great, dad. - yeah, i guess i still got it in me a little. - can i get your autograph? - okay, okay. - hey, don't hassle the talent, ma'am. - i actually don't really know who they are. i was just getting an autograph-- ah! - move along, ma'am. that was pretty good, kids. maybe you can come perform at my elk's club sometime. - okay, yeah, maybe. god, now it's like everybody wants a piece of us. - yeah.

- i don't know if i can handle all this fame. i mean, i always thought i'd want to be famous, but now that i am, i don't know if i like it. i mean, i probably can't even walk through this mall right now without people going, "oh, my god, it's the fingerbang guy! oh, my god!" - yeah, that's gonna suck. - yeah, i just want to be a normal kid again, have a normal life, and appreciate what i have. - i think you boys are very smart for your age. come on, i'll buy you all an orange smoothie. - i don't think they sell those anymore. - hey, cartman, do you think god is going to be mad at you for not making $10 million? - oh, screw god. i'm not scared of him. he's a pussy. you know i'm just kidding, right?

>> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," everybody. thank you so much for tuning in. thank you for coming out. thank you so much for coming out. as always, i'm trevor noah. our guest tonight, our guest tonight is known for his work on marvel's movies and what we do in the shadows, a phenomenal film. tonight he's here with a new comedy in which he plays, i want to get this right, adolph

hitler. taika waititi is joining us! let's catch up on today's headlines. let's start things off talking about the miracle of life and why it's so creepy. >> a mysterious new organism -- >> they nicknamed it the blob, a yellow unicellular small living being, looks like a fungus but acts like an animal, that is 720 sexes, can move without legs or wings and can heal itself. two blobs can transmit knowledge to each other. experts call it one of nature's mysteries. >> trevor: sounds like the beginning of a horror movie. sounds like a news report everyone in the horror movie ignores ten minutes before the blob takes over the town. what does that mean that the blob has 720 different sexes? did the blob say that?

the scientists say, what are are you pronounce? the blob says, all of them! people get stressed and say the yellow blob is going to take over the world! some yellow blob won't take over the planet because if it tries we have an orange blob with no brain that's going to fight it and take it down! ( cheers and applause ) big international news, egypt still has old things left to dig up. >> 20 ancient coffins in egypt are called one to have the most important archeological finds. they were discovered along the nile river. the coffins were stacked in a large tomb, sealed, in fact. a-- in tact. the colors and carvings have not faded despite being 2,000 years old. >> trevor: that sounds like the begin of a horror movie. maybe there's a reason the 20 coffins were sealed so tight.

shut up and open them -- aaahhh! a quick shoutout to the guy who owned the coffin store in ancient egypt. can we give him props? think about it, those coffins have lasted longer than any civilization ever. or nate, beautiful. these days, think about it, we bury people in an apple box, basically. when they dig up our coffins in 2000 years, they will be, like, people in 2019 were some broke ass bitches! ( laughter ) how much time needs to pass until it's acceptable to start looting dead people's graves? when these guys dig up coffins they're archeologists, when i do it i'm desecrating the grave of luther vandross. how is that fair? ( laughter ) when you're hungry and on the go, nothing better than a drive-through. thanks to a new law in california you could get a driveover. >> road kill could be on the menu. >> governor gavin newsom has

just signed a new bill into law, senate bill 395, would allow drivers who unintentionally fatally strike a deer, elk, wild pig, to take it home and cook it. it would allow people who stumbled on an animal carcass in the road to take it home for food. that is expected to help people in california. >> trevor: pem taking dead animals home? sounds like the beginning of a great romantic comedy. she hanover his leg. he ran over her heart! but, yes, eating road kill is now legal in california. yeah, and the owners of 7-eleven were, like, oh, was that illegal? my bad. my bad. and i'm not going to lie. this is one of the weirdest stories i've ever seen. honestly, i've never driven past road kill and thought, oh, if only it wasn't a crime! ( laughter ) i wouldn't eat a banana i found on the floor. you're taking home a dead deer?

actually, if i wrote this law, i would have added a part that says if you kill an animal with your car, you have to eat it, but you can. you have to eat it. you see how safe the highways would become. it would be, like, honey, slow down, i'm not hungry, slow down. ( laughter ) to be fair to the animals, i would also add if you hit an animal but you die the animal gets to eat you. rules are rules, people! that's it for the head reasons. moving on to our top story. ( cheers and applause ) if you were keeping up with the news today you probably know that it was more chaotic than free cocaine day at dave and busters. ( laughter ) personally, i'm disappointed because we had a whole show planned and i was going to be a great show. we figured out who killed jeffrey epstein, but we had to throw it all out the window because there was so much breaking news, too much news, in fact. luckily, though, too much news is just the right amount of news for a segment we call "ain't nobody got time for that." ( cheers and applause )

♪ if you're friends with a government ethics expert and you're wondering why their head randomly exploded into little pieced to, it's probably because they saw this. >> president trump is hosting a major meeting of world leaders next year at his miami area resort and golf property. next year's g7 summit will take place at the trump national doral in miami. the move is raising questions about whether hosting this large event at one of the president's businesses is a violation of ethics rules. >> trevor: wow! that is crazy. the president is making world leaders hold a giant event at his own resort? like it really seems there's nothing trump wouldn't do to profit off the presidency. i bet you he's going to be outside his own impeachment trial scalping ticket. he will be standing outside going, tickets, tickets, who needs tickets to my impeachment? best seats in the house, come on, y'all, right next to me. ( laughter ) if i was a world leader, i wouldn't want to stay at trump's resort. i don't trust him.

trump would probably sneak into your room to try to find dirt on joe biden. he would be at the door, like, housekeeping! oh, did someone leave these files on the floor? i'll get rid of it for you! ( laughter ) now, on a normal day and a normal presidency, we would spend all our time talking about how shady it is that trump is forcing world leaders to host the g-7 summit at his golf club that he makes money from, especially considering how he brags how he doesn't profit from the presidency. but today is not a normal day, and this is not a normal presidency. while he's inviting foreign leaders to his golf club, american leaders are stomping out. >> shortly after a house vote more than 100 republicans joined democrats condemning the democrat's withdrawal from syria, a heated clash in white house between trump and top democrats spilling out on to the steps of the west wing. >> i pray for the president all the time. we have to pray for his health.

this was a very serious meltdown on the part of the president. >> president trump hitting back accusing of democrats of storming out using the same language as pelosi against her tweeting, she had a total meltdown in the white house today. it was very sad to watch. pray for her. she is a very sick person. ( audience reacts ) >> trevor: uh, okay, i know you are, but what am i? i like how when trump is insulted he steals that insult with zero shame. like may be this is how you trick him into getting out of the white house. i'm sick of you, you resign. no, i'm sick of you, i resign. no, damn it, wait, wait! ( applause ) also, it's funny how they're fighting, but they both say they're going to pray for each other. you know what they remind me of? they remind me of those old church ladies who act nice in public but pray insult each other. they will be, like, dear lord please give me the strength not

to whack this fool up side the head. and if i do, jesus, please give this woman sense before i whip her ass like the father she never had. we were going to spend our time talking about the beef between trump and democrats, but then news broke about the turkey. >> breaking news in turkey, the united states says it's helped to broker a five day cease fire with turkish forces and sir. i can't vice president making that announcement after meeting with president recep erdogan. the president called it an amazing outcome. >> the kurds are very happy, turkey very happy, and, you know what? civilization is very happy. it's a great thing for civilization. >> trevor: yes, civilization is very happy. centuries from now historians will look back at the greatest achievements of all time, the development of democracy, the invention of electricity and the time trump negotiated a really cease fire in a war he basically

started. ah, yes, what a great achievement! ( applause ) it's civilization! and you know what? if we have the time, we would be discussing how disingenuous of trump to claim this was a peace deal when the kurds just got screwed over. the deal is they have five days to leave the land and turkey gets the land. sounds like the deal i had with my high school bully, i give him my lunch money, he gives me a black eye, win win. while kurds are setting out of syria, the democrats are trying to get trump out of the white house and the latest witness on the parliament impeachment inquiry was dropping bombs. >> gordon sondland said president trump told u.s. officials to talk directly so his personal lawyer rudy giuliani about u.s. policy in ukraine, and he said he didn't know until later that giuliani's agenda included pushing ukraine

to investigate joe biden. >> and he said throughout this time he was getting ukraine to advance an investigation into corruption, he had no idea that meant joe biden or hunter biden. >> trevor: oh, this is slick from sondland. he's now saying that he did put pressure on ukraine, but he didn't know it had anything to do with joe biden. you see what he's doing, he's trying to distance himself from what trump did. he's basically, like, i didn't know it was a bank robbery, i just went in with my friends, gave the bank teller a note and they gave me the money. why were you wearing a mas income i thought we were all cold! ( laughter ) i wish we had more time to go through ambassador sondland's full testimony. he had a lot to say, mick mulvaney came out and held a surprise press conference and shocked everyone in the room. >> following breaking news, a stunning admission from the white house. acting chief of staff mick mulvaney directly contradicting

president trump on a quid pro quo with ukraine, saying hundreds of millions of dollars in u.s. military aid was tied to an investigation of democrats in the 201 2016 election. >> so the demand for an investigation into the democrats was part of the reason that he wanted to withhold funding to ukraine. >> the look back into what happened in 2016 certainly was part of the thing he was worried about in corruption with that nation. that is absolutely appropriate. >> what you just described is a quid pro quo. >> we do that all the time with foreign policy. i have news for everybody, get over it. there's going to be political influence in foreign policy. >> trevor: okay, hold up. hold up. trump has said on multiple occasions no quid pro quo of any kind. now middle age harry potter is coming out saying that there was a certain time of quid pro quo, but everyone must get over it? that's it? just get over it? everybody does it? so this is locker room corruption? is that what this is?

i'm not going to lie. this is a tws i didn't see coming. like the murder suspect in a "law and order" episode confessing in the middle of the scene, yeah, i committed the double homicide but the real question is are you going to be a little bitch about it? the person is dead, ain't nothing going to change. now are we going to eat them or not? what are we doing? ( applause ) so in 24 hours, in 24 hours, we had trump hosting the g-7 at his golf club, turkey getting the greatest deal of all time, no quid pro quo but also quid pro quo, a showdown in the white house, but didn't have time to tell you rick perry tied to the ukraine scandal abruptly resigned today. this might be the true genius of donald trump. you realize with one scanned you'll get kicked out of office, but with seven in one day? ain't nobody got time for that. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) >> i'm not going to get involved in a war between turkey and

syria, especially when, if you look at the kurds -- and again, i say this with great respect, they're no angels. >> we get along great with the kurds. we're trying to help them allot. don't forget, that's their territory. we have to help them. i want to help them. >> let them fight their own wars. we have been fighting them a thousand years. >> they fought with us. they died. they died. we lost tens of thousands of kurds died fighting i.s.i.s. >> we were the ones that got i.s.i.s., we're the ones who took a care of it, specifically me. >> but they're great people. we don't forget, i don't forget. >> let them work it ♪

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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." as we just saw, the trump administration has been saying for weeks that there was no form of quid pro quo with ukraine, and then today mulvaney said that there was, but people should get over it. which is likely confusing, what is the strategy? well, here to break it all down in this whole impeachment scanned is our very own dulce sloan, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) this is so confusing.

trump's chief of staff basically admitted to a quid pro quo. how is this helping them? >> it doesn't. but that's the point. this is what happens when you're dealing with trash-ass dudes and trash-ass fans. i have been through this before so let me break it down -- trump doesn't want to be president, but he doesn't want to quit either because that would make him look bad, so he's out here trying to get dumped. it's what i call pulling a marvin. >> trevor: pulling a marvin? is that a psychological term? >> no, marvin is this dude i have been dating who wants to get out of our relationship, but he's trying to me to break up with him. that's who marvin is, and trump's just like him. >> trevor: hold up, hold up, you think trump wants americans to kick him out of the white house? >> it's obvious! he said america's just as bad as russia. he shows us the phone calls he made to ukraine, then his boy came to the podium and said he's got quid pro quo in different area codes.

( cheers and applause ) he's just like marvin. not even trying to hide it. marvin butt dialed me from the strip club! ( laughter ) with someone else's butt! if that's not asking to get your ass dropped, i don't know what is. >> trevor: okay, but, wait, that means this is a good thing. if trump wants out, then america just should impeach him and everyone gets what they want. >> oh, hell, no! huh-uh! impeach him to the america is the bad guy? huh-uh! then he gets what he wants! we can't let marvin win! i mean trump. ( laughter ) excuse me. we can't let trump win. america that is to do to trump what i did to marvin. make his life a living hell! uh-huh! ( cheers and applause ) i told his boss he goes to work

drunk. i poked holes in his water bed. and best of all, i showed up at the strip club he was at and yesterday, that guy is broke, no more dances for marvin! >> trevor: wow, so that's how you got marvin to break up with you. >> oh, no, we didn't break up. ( laughter ) we're both too stubborn. i'm marrying that piece of shit this weekend. ( laughter ) you hear that, marvin? you better break up with me or i'm taking this shit to the grave! >> trevor: congratulations, i guess. dulce sloan, everybody! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) you've got to do it. and let's do.g it.

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you've got to do it. and let's do.g it. you need to take care i didn't know you cared. i just don't want you to drop dead in front of the customers. i thought we could go for a walk together. to be honest you're not really not my type. are elves always so cynical? these are dark times. last christmas i got really ill. so, ah tell me about your diet. alcohol? once in a while. -she's drinking like the pirate. i'm a mess. i can't do anything. being human is hard. just be you. [ screaming ] i did that just incase you thought i was too perfect. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to the "the daily show." my guest tonight is a filmmaker from new zealand who writes, directs and stars in the new movie "jojo rabbit." >> that was intense! >> what am i going to do? honestly, no idea. there could be more of them.

hundreds of them living in your walls. how did she get control like that? >> she must have used her powers. mind control. >> typical! see how fast she moved? >> yes. >> like a little female jewish jesse owens. and now she's got your fancy knife. >> oh, my life! >> yeah, a little female jesse owens jack the ripper. we're definitely in a pickle, my friend. what the do, what the do -- >> got it! >> we'll blame winston churchill -- or we'll negotiate. >> trevor: please welcome taika waititi! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ welcome to "the daily show," sir. >> thank you very much for having me. >> trevor: i am a big fan of your work. you have been making some of the funniest films that we have had the pleasure of enjoying in the cinema. >> thank god. >> trevor: but "jojo rabbit"

is truly one of strangest films people will watch in an amazing way. >> yeah. >> trevor: how do you begin to pitch to a studio, hey, guys, i'm making a movie about a young boy growing up in gnatsia germany and his imaginary friend is hitler. >> you say, hey, guys -- then stop there. a very hard film to pitch. no, a film about young boy in youth -- for most people, they say, that's enough for me, not interested. i ended up having to write the script and let that do the talking. it's a hard thing to pitch. totally, it shifts around a lot. a lot of comedy, and drama and tragedy and it is a real mix. >> trevor: it is sharp in a satirical voice as well. you're commenting on something we know what happened but you're commenting on something i think people don't talk enough about in the world today is this n that we are conditioned from the time we're children.

this little child is only taught to be a nazi and we like him, because we sort of understand he had no other choice, and we're seeing the conflict he has with being a nazi and his mother going, like, no, you can be a good person. >> that's right, when children were indoctrinated into the hitler youth, the first lesson they were taught was to rebel against your parents. don't listen to your parents, listen to us. hitler is now your father. listen to us and your teachers. if a parent in those times, you know, if you wanted to try and convince your child, don't be a nazi, it was a very dangerous thing to do, you know, because they'd say, if your parents, you know, if they judge us or if they criticize the party, tell us and we'll take care of that. >> trevor: we'll take care of your parents. >> yeah. >> trevor: you see that in the story. i wish i could explain to people, it really is a weird movie in that, like, you're laughing and then you're sad and then angry and moments where you're, like, this feels like what's happening today.

you feel people are radicalized and you go why do you have this hate? and they go, well, that's all i've known. >> isn't it weird in 2019 someone still has to make a movie trying to explain to people not to be a nazi? ( applause ) >> trevor: was it ever awkward for you looking in the mirror? did your family say anything? >> my mother came to visit set and -- >> trevor: because a lot of people don't know this about you, you're jewish. >> yes. and that makes it okay! ( laughter ) >> trevor: i'm saying it makes it more awkward. >> for sure. >> trevor: you're going to be hitler? >> there's double the guilt going on! ( laughter ) so, no, i put the costume on for the first time. on paper, you think, this is going to be a great idea. then you put it all on, put the ridiculous mustache on and look in the mirror and, really, the main way to describe it all is embarrassed. i was embarrassed. >> trevor: right. >> and but imagine trying to

direct people dressed like that. because you go through most of your day, you know, you don't really remember what you look like. and i will be directing people, hey, that was really good, scarlet, why don't we try doing another one where you go over there and -- and she's going -- and i catch a glimpse of myself and look at my reflection and i go, oh, god, i look like this guy. then i say, you don't have to do what i say. it's not an order. i'm not forcing you. it's your choice. you're a free person. 2018, you do what you want. >> trevor: hey, i'm not directing! i'm suggesting! >> i'm suggesting! the power of suggestion! ( laughter ) >> trevor: you have a really stellar cast. i mean, the young man who we see there playing "jojo rabbit," he's phenomenal. all these young kids in the movie are amazing.

you have scarlett johansson who is phenomenal as the mom. why did you choose to center the story around the kids? it's not a story told through the lens of the i adults but through the leeps of children, why? >> you've never seen films set with a backdrop of conflict or wars really from a child's point of view, and i real lewanted to explore that world, and i've worked with a lot of kids in my films, so a lot of my films they deal with, you know, young boys with dad issues. yeah, but, so, i've always worked with these kids and the boy plays jojo, roman griffin davis, incredibly, beautifully sensitive young guy who really carries the film and really saved me from embarrassment. >> trevor: i think there's nothing to be embarrassed about. it's truly one of the most original, funny, fantastic fipples i've watched in a long time. thank you very much for being on the show and making the movie.

"jojo rabbit" opens in select theatres on october 18th. taika waititi, everybody! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ here, it all starts with a simple... hello! -hi! how can i help? a data plan for everyone. everyone? everyone. let's send to everyone! [ camera clicking ]

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it gives us time to do better research, and save this threatened species. [ ty♪ing ] ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: that's our show for tonight. don't forget, comedy central standup presents new half hour specials from jaboukie young-white tomorrow at 11:00 and dulce sloan next friday at 11:00. make sure you catch those. they're likely funny. first but first, here it is... your moment of zen. >> there's poem mitchell said many many years ago that i said sometimes 20 times a day and it's very simple but it's one i live by, it say