- oh, not again. - kyle? - surprise, fat ass! - kyle, what are you doing? - i went on-line posing as a boy who would have sex with older men and told them to meet me here. my plan worked perffctly! [car horns honking] [tires screeching] - ha-ha. [all cheering] - whoa. - hey, i brought you some wendy's. - yeah, yeah, go on in, there's a hot tub inside. stupid shit! - score! oh, no, it's chris hansen! [gunshot] [murmuring] - what the hell is going on? - wait a minute-- oh, god, it's chris hansen! [gunshot] - chris hansen! [gunshot] - dateline ? [gunshot] - i knew it! [gunshot] - there aren't really brownies? [gunshotss . - hey! do you have something to do with this??, answer me! - stupid shit, cock!

- what? nobody talks to me like that! why don't you take a seat? take a seat right over there. . - suck it! asshole-licker dick fart! - why you little-- i'll tell on you! - wow, you're the coolest kid in the world. if i could call chris hannen an "asshole-licking dick fart" to his face, i would be so happy. - you would? can i just like hang out with you sometimes? like do your laundry maybe? - take a look, fat ass! i beat you! you aren't going on dateline. what do you have to say now? - oh,,thank you. thank you, kyle! - what? - i asked god to send someone to help me, and you came, kyle! i love you, man! - no, i beat you! - you totally saved my ass, kyle! you must really care about me. i gotta get to a psychiatrist and learn to control whht i say. ♪ i got a golden ticket ♪ thanks to kyle! ♪ i got a golden twinkle in my eye ♪

- aw, shit! - aw, shit! captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," everybody. thank you so much for tuning in and thank you for coming out! ( cheers and applause ) thank you so much for coming out! let's do this thing, people! i'm trevor noah. our guest tonight is actor and writer whose new film is called "queen and slim" lena waithe is joining us! , ( cheers and applause ) also on tonight's show, andrew yang finally gets to speak, the grammy nominations are out and

black thanksgiving. let's too much up on today's headlines. let'skick it off with 2020, a year with so many exciting excited to watch and, no, i'm not talking about the election, i'm talking about the the grammys. >> nonominations for 2020 grammy awards are out. new class in town. lizzo leads the way with eight nominations including album, song and record of the year. she's also up for best new artist. 17-year-old billie eilish is behind with six nominations. lil nas x with the blockbuster hit of "old town road" also picked up six grammy nominations. >> trevor: wow, "old town road" got nominated for six grammys! that's really surprising, not that it got nominated but that it came out this year. ism like we have been listening to that song for a decade now. i swear i've had that song on my ipad and it's been out

that long. i swear when the song came out it was just called town road. ( laughter ) it's weird to me how long between when a song comes out and gets nominated for the grammys. it's like when somebody texts you a year and a half later, and you, go no, i'm not still up! i have a wife and kids now, what the hell! and for eight nominations, give it up for lizzo, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) i'm so excited tore liz o i hope she wins every single category. i hope kanye doesn't make the mistake of interrupting her speech because he'll be walking home with a flute up his ass, she doesn't play games. ( playing imaginary flute ) and one more nomination, trevor! nominated for best comedy! ( cheers and applause ) honestly, this is so exciting

because it came out of nowhere. i didn't know the grammys were be being announced. i found out the morning a friend texted me, wow, dude, grammy awards, so exciting! i was, like, did we get invited? oh, snap! second meze neerntion here we come! ( laughter ) i'm humbled. to get a grammy nomination when you're not even a musician, best believe i'm going to milk this! ( cheers and applause ) from now on until the ceremony, i'm grammy nominee trevor noah. i actually hope i get arrested just so the news has to be, like, comedian trevor noah was arrested last night after the police found four dead bodies in his freezer. the grammy nominee was taken away in handcuffs. ( cheers and applause ) all right, moving on, if you're wondering whether going to college makes financial sense, now there's a new tool to help you figure it out. >> for the first time the

education department released information allowing students to compare earnings r earnings and debt averages. the move gives students to see averages from specific college programs rather than at the school as a whole. the department's updated college scorecard web site lets students search individual majors at a school and let students see how much graduates typically earned and eid a year after graduation. >> trevor: fantastic idea, if you're a young person about to apply to college, this government tool can help you plan for your future. if you're out of college and life corks this tool can help you figure out where you went wrong. oh! so majoring in underwater pottery is why i have six roommates! i get it! ( laughter ) there is fascinating information on the department's web site. for instance, we learned dentistry majors have hiring learning. nyu film majors have debt four times greater than their salary, on average. and once again, this year's

highest paying major is having rich parents! good choice! well done! look at you! in all seriousness, though, why do we have to use money as a way to measure success? why don't we measure success by friends or love or grammy nominations? i'm just saying! i'm just saying! ( play laughing ) ( applause ) let's move on to an airport police chase unlike any you've ever seen. >> to the wild police says chase across an airport runway caught on camera. the suspected teen burglar trying to escape an arrest after landing in oklahoma. >> take a look at the united flight just landed an a 16-year-old squeezes between the jetway and aircraft and jumps on to the active runway and starts running. the 16-year-old got into a mechanical room, into the terminal, and watch as he dwops drops, you can see from a

distance, from the roof of the terminal at his pursuers arrive. he broke bones in his legs, taken to the hospital. he's in custody. he still faces the charge, guys. >> trevor: goddam! this kid jumped out of a plane and off of a roof. everyone thinks they're living in a video game you can't just jump off of a building. you have to hit x as you land. that's what you. do that's how you roll. ( laughter ) the worst place to run away from cops is oklahoma because oklahoma is one giant open field. there's nowhere to hide. the cops can just walk up with folding chairs and be, like, there he goes, yep. five hours later, yep, he's still running, still running. ( laughter ) they say he jumped out of the plane because he was a robbery suspect an wanted to escape. i think they started boarding and he realized he was on a spirit airlinesright flight and jumped out. spirit airlines, they won't take me alive!

( laughter ) that's it for the headlines. let's move on to our top story. ( cheers and applause ) there are now just 347 days until the 2020 presidential election. and even though we're less than a year away, there are still 18 democrats in the race, which is too many people. i mean, look at all those faces, huh? look at all those faces. too many candidates too far! ( laughter ) so, with a million democrats left in the race, all the candidates are struggling to get media attention, but there's one candidate who is struggling more than most, andrew yang. >> andrew yang, he has not been a media darling, he hasn't gotten a ton of press and coverage. >> andrew yang who has a huge following online but not necessarily in the broader television electorate. >> andrew yang? >> he's getting ignored for some weird reason. >> andrew yang was the person that spoke the least during last night's debate. he didn't even get a question for the first 30 minutes of the

debate, and then he ended up speaking just 6 minute and 53 seconds overall. >> trevor: wow, in a two-hour debate, andrew yang only got to speak for 6 minutes and 53 seconds. that's, like, nothing. there are rappers who speak more before their song even starts. uh-huh, uh-huh, yeah, huh-uh, huh-uh huh. turn the base up, the headphones down. okay, yeah, yeah, turn it up again, yeah, yeah -- why didn't you figure this shit out before you started recording? why is this on the song? can you get a sueder? a little cold in here, yeah yeah. ( laughter ) i'm nominate saying andrew yang should get the same amount of coverage as the frontrunners but you have to admit it's strange he gets less attention than other candidates who poll lower than he does. michael bloomberg hasn't even entered the race and he has more

attention than yang. bloomberg's name was on the screen the entire time the other day when i tuned in the other day. who is this candidate who's not a media darling but holding his own in this race? let's learn more about it in our ongoing segment "getting to know dem." ( cheers and applause ) so who is andrew yang? other than the man debate moderators turn to when they're sick of being yelled at by bernie, it turns out he's got a pretty interesting story. >> his parents emigrated from taiwan, his faster a physicist, his mother has ha math in statistics. and drew grew up in schenectady, new york. >> i was a nerdy chinese kid who played piano and had braces. >> he study science at brown and went to law school in columbia. >> yang made millions of helping people study for standardized

tests. he founded venture for america, and yang says it helped push him into politics. >> he was named the presidential ambassador of entrepreneurship by the obama administration and a champion of change. >> trevor: what? i didn't know yang was obama's ambassador of entrepreneurship. i didn't know what. why doesn't he talk about that at the debate? if you have anything to do with obama, you have to give that shit up every time. every other candidate does it. i was his vice president. i worked in his cabinet. if you squint, i kind of look like him. ( laughter ) so andrew yang is a lawyer who made millions of dollars as an entrepreneur, but what got his presidential campaign noticed was not how much money he has but how much money he was willing to give away. >> he announced in 2017 that barely moved the needle. then went on the joe rogen experience in february of 2019.

he talked about his universal basic income plan to give every american citizen a thousand dollars a month. suddenly the mentions of him skyrocketed. >> tonight free money for every american adult for every month, no strings attached. >> president candidate andrew yang's big idea, give every american adult $1,000 a month. >> if you've heard anything about me and my campaign you've heard something like this, there's an asian man running for president who wants to give everyone $1,000 a month. >> trevor: yes, when andrew yang starting running for president, no one cared. but then when they found out he was going to give out free money, all of a sudden, everyone knew his name. that's the magic of money, it brings people out of the woodwork. everyone. you win the lottery, you get family you didn't know existed. next time there's an earthquake emergency, the person should walk around the rubble, i'm giving away free cash. people will dig themselves out of the rubblele, someone say free cash? under the "freedom dividend,"

andrew yang's proposal is every single american over age 18 would receive a check for $1,000 every month, no strings attached, every american. even bill gates. yeah. and, like, what is bill gates going to do with a check for $1,000? he will be, like, great, i can dip this in water and use it as a wet nap. thank you, u.s. government. thank you. ( laughter ) that's the policy that made andrew yang famous and turns out there's a lot more where that came from. >> no other democrat democrat has more policy santas on their web site from yang. to freedom dividend, to more targeting aicials and robo calling. proposals, medicare for all, gun safety and marriage counseling for all. yang said he would pardon every prison inmate convicted of nonviolent marijuana offenses if elected. >> andrew yang says he would promote transparency by

declassifying information about air force area 51. >> if i become privy to information about aliens or area 51 or anything i am able to share, i will share it. ( laughter ) >> trevor: okay, that's super exciting. if andrew yang becomes president, he's going to tell all of us what's in area 51? that is so dope! that is so dope! because we get to learn about aliens and rudy giuliani gets to meet his family! wow! everybody wins! law( applause ) so that's andrew yang, a businessman turned politician who wants to show us the money and aliens. one other thing about him, he's probably going to spend his $1,000 a month on the swear job. >> donald trump is the scissors, i'm the (~bleep ) rock. >> there's a lot of bullshit around it, too. >> i call it bullshit. >> and i should really do it.

>> (~bleep ). you are getting bleeped. because you're getting (~bleep ) you say i don't care. i want to un(~bleep ) you. if you want to help me un(~bleep ) you, then, like, vote me into office. >> trevor: what? i want to un(~bleep ) you? i got to say, that's a weird presidential pitch. ( laughter ) but it would make a really original r&b song, you know. ( laughter ) like, if i had known your bed was a mattress on the ground, boy, oh, i want to un(~bleep ) you! ( laughter ) turns out, andrew yang doesn't just have tons of policies, he has a ton of curse words and, you know what? that could actually be the key to getting him more attention at these debates. think about it, trump didn't get on stage and release a bunch of policy papers, no, he went up there and said he had a big penis and if americans voted for him the rest of us would have big penises, too, and mexico would pay for them. so, andrew yang, if you want more media attention, you have to take it, man!

the next time you get on stage, make your six minutes count! come out on stage and be like elect me and i'll make it rain every mother bleep month! universal income for universal bitches! this shit is going to work a and you can trust my ass because i roll with barack (~bleep ) obama! ( cheers and applause ) we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) why do yo stick with a bank that treats you like this? ask the internet! ask your friends. ask your co-workers. we're pretty sure they'll send you over to us. because we're not just a bank, we're an ally. [phone ringing] ally, this is pamela how can i help you?

[ph♪ne ringing] try a $2 medium latte, cappuccino or americano from 2-6pm. the holidays run on dunkin'

>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." next week, americans will celebrate thanksgiving, but maybe while you're biting into your turkey, you should be thinking about black people. roy wood, jr. explains why in another edition of "cp time." ♪ >> welcome to "cp time." the only show that's for the culture. today, we're going to talk about thanksgiving, the holiday where we gather our families to give thanks for our many blessings. it's also the holiday when your

nephew comes home from college with a lot of new "woke" ideas. i don't give a damn what you say, theodore, i don't think dolphins should get to vote. they don't even have hands! ( laughter ) anyway, what many people don't know about thanksgiving is that, from the very beginning, black people have been involved in this american tradition. in fact, one of the first pilgrims who came to america was black. we don't know this man's name because the ship's records only describe him as a blackamore, a termto used to describe someone with dark skin from africaia. blackamore is the be pilgrims way of saying that black guy. back then there was so few black people in america that everyone knew who you were talking about. today that would only work in seattle. ( laughter ) food is another area of thanksgiving where black people have made major contributions. black people such as james

hemings, who trained as a chef in france but, unfortunately, in america, was one of thomas jefferson's slaves. james introduced the dish that we all love and know today, macaroni and cheese. everyone knew about macaroni, but no one ever thought to throw cheese on top of it. thanks to james, we now know that anything tastes better if you just add cheese. mack roany, potatoes, french fries, hamburgers, i add cheese to everything. the doctor says i've got five years to live. ( laughter ) but it's going to be a delicious five years. ( laughter ) finally, what would a thanksgiving day celebration be without football? a beautiful tradition that allows you to spend time with your family without having to actually talk to them. and even thanksgiving football is a tradition that involves black people from the very beginning.

in fact, the first n.f.l. game played on thanksgiving in 1920 featured fritz pollack who led his team to victory. more impressive, fritz went on to coach the team, fulfilling the dream every black men has had for hundreds of years, yelling at white people and getting paid for it. ( laughter ) interesting fact, my great uncle bebo was also a part of that historic thanksgiving game. he was the goalpost. ( laughter ) it's good, bebo! well, that's our thanksgiving episodes, and from all of us at "cp time," happy holidays to you and yours. and remember -- we're for the culture. oooh, i wonder if this would taste good with cheese on it. mm-mmm! four more years. ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: roy wood, jr., everyone. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) the following is a paid message.

for a chip so iconic, we don't need to name it. no logos, no gimmicks. just those red and blue bags with the stuff you love in it. man you know the brand. it's the three-sided crunch. that had you trade your buddies for it, if they packed a pack at lunch. no logo, but our name's on the tip of your tongue. shaking for crumbs when the bag is done of that cheesy, spicy, crispy-crunchy, flavor packed bodega snack that rhymes with. i need those. but an ad with no logo? it's another level.

( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: we can badge to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a creator, actor and emmy-winning writer who wrote and produced the new film "queen and slim."

>> where are you going? >> i'm going to find somebody with a phone so i can call my family. >> if you do that then they'll know where we are. >> great. >> what if they kill us. >> don't say that! >> there's no guarantee they won't! you're a black man that killed a cop and then took his gun. >> i'm not a criminal. >> you are now. >> i just want to go home, and i want to see my family. >> trevor: please welcome lena waithe. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> hey! >> trevor: welcome, lena waithe. >> hey, i love you back. what up?

>> trevor: i have been a fan of yours for such a long time, but there is an additional element of my fandom that has increased over the past few years and that has been your drip. >> okay. >> trevor: truly, i have watched few films that engaged me in the way this movie does. it's a powerful story. i often see the trailer doesn't do it justice because the trailer seems like a story where it's a couple out on a date who get stopped by the cop, th the p goes very wrong, daniel kaluuya's character shoots the cop and then they're on the run. it's a complex story. how would you begin to write a story like this? why would you choose to do that, considering how real the story is in today's world? >> it's interesting, as nina simone says, it's an artist's duty to reflect the times, and these are the times in which

we're living. also open season on black bodies. what i wanted to do -- there's a study that says if you're ever held up at gunpoint, you should tell them personal things about yourself, you should say i have a child, you should say my mother's on her death bed and i want to see her , go all those things, because what happens is the gunman now empathizes with you and now sees you as a human and makes them more difficult to kill you. so with my art, i'm wondering if i can humanize black people enough, maybe they will stop killing us. >> trevor: it captured a complexity i truly enjoy in any storytelling and that is the complexity of black joy and black pain. >> absolutely. >> trevor: i often say to people, you know, people will say, like, on "the daily show" if anything, as black people, how do you laugh and this and that. black people can't wait for everything to be right to black. >> even in the midst of

oppression, we find joy because we don't have a choice. i think, for me, the movie is something everyone can come see because everyone should come experience what the world is like through our lens, you know, and we have final cut on this film, everything you see, every looks, every word, every glance was a purposeful decision made by myself and melina, we didn't take any notes from mite people on this one. ( applause ) and i think that's why it's hitting different, you know, because there's also this weird narrative like how difficult was it for y'all to get this movie made? man, the industry chased us. they were rolling out the red carpet, what do you need? i was, like, i need final cut, a fat budget, to shoot it and release it in the same year because this art is urgent, and i want a lead actor and she has to be brown skinned. ( applause ) >> trevor: you have dark

skinned black people leading roles. >> yes. >> trevor: what was that important for you? >> it was important because it's something we don't see. it was also important to see these two brown skin bodies make love on screen because there's nothing more human than making love. when's the last time you saw two brown bodies making love on celluloid? i can't remember. we wanted to put that out there because again it's reminding people how human we are. this country has a very complicated past and i think that's why this present is so complex and racism is a wound we haven't healed yet and i think through my art i'm working through that trauma because to be black is beautiful but it's also traumatizing because you can't watch the news and watch black bodies drop and nothing happen to those who are the reason the black bodies developed. bodies dropped. if you're black in america, you're being told your life is

not as valid as somebody else's. >> trevor: you captured that in the film. i hope everybody watches it with an open mind. i think this is one of those movies where the trailer can't tell you the story. the review is how everybody will feel about it. i hope everybody sees it. you've created a beautiful work of art, thank you so much for being on the show. "quee and slim" will be in theaters november 27th. lena waithe, everybody. we'll be right back. for real. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ [explosions, gunfire]

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