thanks tkyle! ♪ i got a golden twinkle in my eye ♪ - aw, shit! - aw, shit! captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com from comedy central'sworld news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. cheersz plaws (cheers and applause). >> trevor: thank you so much for tuning in. thank you for coming out. thank you, everybody. i'm trevor noah. our guest tonight was the the villain in aquaman and the hero in watchman, yahya abdul-mateen is joining us. we will have a great

conversation. also on tonight's episode, ronny chieng cancels christmas, how to kidnap yourself and congratulations, president trump, you made history. let's catch up on today's headlines. let's kick it off with a story that took place in new york but had the whole country talking. yesterday residents of the city were interrupted by an amber alert on their phones saying 16 year old had been kidnapped in the bronx. and although this was a scary story for awhile it turns out there was no actual kidnapping but what did happen was way more insane. >> what appeared to have been a violent kidnapping is over tonight. a teenage girl here in new york is safe after she was grabbed by two men and sparked an amber alert. but was it all a hoax. >> two men jumped out of a car in the bronx, and grabbed the 16 year old as she walked down the sidewalk next to her mother. >> after a frantic day of searching the girl admitted she staged her own abduction, to run

away from her family. she told detectives that her mother was too protective. the two had reportedly argued about a plan to leave the united states for honduras. >> the mother's worst nightmare is over. while there is a chance her daughter's legal troubles are only just beginning. >> trevor: wow, there was an amber alert but mow she saying she faked her own kidnapping. whatever you do, please do not try this if you have african parents. yeah, because you will be like i faked my kidnapping and they will be like but your funeral will be real. now the reason this blew upjohn line is because there are real cases of sex trafficking and people are worried that this kind of story would undermine some of those stories. and not to mention a fake kidnapping will really confuse liam neesom, you know, because every time he keith gets a call he will be like i have a particular set of skills, skills that i will use to-- wait, is this a real one this time? is this my daughter putting me on speaker phone at a party i will be so pissed.

and by the way, you know what i don't understand, whenever someone goes missing we all get an amber alert. how come we don't get another alert when the person is found. because some of us are on the streets looking. like green hona civic, kawtd you. what, that girl came back the same day. >> oh, well, fix that tail light, get out of here. here is what should happen. if someone is kidnapped, an amber alert. but if they find out it is a hoax we should get a jussie smollett alert, that makes sense, that makes sense. all right, let's move on. millions of people will be traveling for the holidays next week and just in time our favorite airlines have made a major announcement. >> spirit airlines unveiled at new design cabin that features more comfortable seats and bigger tray tables. spirit says the seats will offer two extra inches of usable leg room and tables. the change coming after the carrier faced criticism over the years about thin seats and tight leg room space. the new interior is currently

installed on one airplane so far but the plan is to try to make it available across the entire fleet. >> trevor: yay! (applause) spirit airlines has finally upgraded their planes. can i just say i'm so proud? more leg room, a full size tray table and look at those seats. sure itk loo like they stole them from the delta terminal, but still, but still. and you get a full size tray table trk is a worth thing to drag about but on the right side now you have room to put the meals they don't give you. this is great. so congratulations, spirit. we have seen a lot on the show but this say big improvement over their only seats which was just a dirty couch they found on the street. i think that is great. and finally a major story shaking california. actually, this story, can we, i will need some help. can we get, can we get roy, roy, can we get roy to come and join

me at the desk? yeah, i just-- no, cuz roy has a great per spiskt. i just wanted to chant with you. (cheers and applause) >> what's up, what's happening? >> trevor: i just need some help with this next story. >> that is weird, you never needed help during the headlines. >> trevor: this one is different. it is a very big story. and i just need to you stay here. and let's roll the tape, let's roll the tape. >> police in southern california say an artist appears to have sketched the man who stole his money. >> detectives say sth a caricature of the suspect in a robbery at riverside festival of lights this month. the guy asked the artist to make the drawing, when it was done the suspect grabbed the bag with about $500 in it an ran off. but he left the picture behind. police posted it on facebook with the message do you recognize this caricature. the message went on to say the caricature is one of the suspects but of course, they are

exaggerated characteristics and features. (laughter) >> so i don't know, don't do me like that. so, so let me ask you, when you asked me to wear a red hat for today, it wasn't cuz you thought a red hat would look good on fee for the holidays t was a joke. >> trevor: i also like your hat, but of course it was a joke. >> are we done, can i go back. >> trevor: no, we are done. i just wanted to-- take a selfie. >> i got work to do! >> trevor: you look like that guy. >> don't it's not me. >> trevor: don't be mad. that's it for the headlines. let's move on to our top story. (applause) impeachment. it is when america moves its president to the spam folder.

after 85 minutes of inquiries and debate today was timely the big day, so let's see how it all went down in another installment of the magical wonderful world to impeachment. (cheers and applause) >> this . >> tz. >> trevor: ever since the impeachment inquiry began in september there have been many days that it felt historic. the announcement, the testimony, the day that trump and giuliani accidentally switched dentures and talked like each other the whole day but as historic as those days were, today was the most historic of all. >> this wednesday will long be remembered. president trump set to become the third president in american history to be impeached. >> on this truly historic day president donald j. trump is facing the harshest and rarest of reputes by the united states house of representatives. >> a day for the history books. >> this is a moment that will go

down in history. >> this will be written about in the history becomes. >> in is going to go down in the history books. >> trevor: a day that will go down in the history books, trump must be miserable right now. because those are the two things he hates the most. history books and going down. and regardless, regardless of how you feel about impeachment, today historic. because trump soanl the third president ever to be impeached. yeah, they will carve his face on impeachment mount rushmore, right? which just to be clear will be appropriately located in the worst place, the port authority bathroom. that is where st. so there is no doubt that impeachment will track trempy legacy bigly. but also. >> president trump incensed, lashing out in a scathing six page letter to the house speaker calling the impeachment as outlined by the constitution an illegal partisan attempted coup. >> he just fired off a tweet, can you believe that i will be impeached today by the radical left do nothing democrats and i

did wrog, a terrible thing. read the transcripts this should never happen to another president again. say a prayer. (laughter) is it just me or does it seem like trump went through all the stages of grief in one tweet? (laughter) it was like denial, i can't believe i'm getting impeached, anger, i did nothing wrong. depression, this is a terrible thing. acceptance. i guess we can only pray. (applause) you know what trump reminds me of in that tweet, remember when you were a kid, right, who was going to get a spanking but then your parents told you it would happen later because they didn't have time. and then the whole day was just you in a state of panic that is what sounds like. like like child, no, no, i didn't, i didn't. i didn't, i didn't do it, pray for me, pray for me. pray for me.

(laughter) whatever trump sounds his republican minions in house seemed even more angry because they spent the day on the floor of the house competing to see who could make impeachment sound the worst. >> history will not treat democrats well. they will be forever remembered as the senator joe mccarthies of our time. >> december 7th, 1941 a horrific act in the united states, one that president roosevelt said this is the day that will live in infamy. >> today december 18th, 2019, is another day that will live in infamy. >> when jesus was falsely accused of treason, pontius pilate gave jesus the opportunity to face his accusers. during that sham trial, pontius pilot afforded more rights to jesus than the democrats have afforded this president. >> trevor: shit, did these

guys just compare an impeachment to particle harbor and what happened to jesus, did they just google bad things and then click i'm feeling lucky, first of all, people actually died at pearl harbor, no one died here. and secondly jesus was por ture-- tortured and nailed to the cross, that is way worse than what is happening to trump. even if trump was going to be put on the cross he would snefer carry it himself, he would probably put it on the back of a government cart it is not even close. so house republicans spent the wol day being drama queens about impeachment. at one point a republican congressman from ohio even held a a moment of silence for the 63 million people who voted for donald trump. which is kind of ironic because donald trump would never be able to hold a moment of silence for himself. he would just be like let's have a moment of silence. wow, this is the greatest moment of silence ever. listen to how sigh lent it is.

don't silence, no silence has ever sounded like this before. i can't believe how sigh lent st. -- silent it is. so powerful. but even-- so powerful lam! >> yo, yo, we get it, yo. but even though this was a bad day for republicans, that doesn't mean that democrats were gloating. in fact, all day they wanted everyone to know that this impeachment made them very, very sad. >> madame speaker, this is a sad day in u.s. history when we have to vote on articles impeachment. >> it is a sad day. >> it will be a somber day around here. >> it is with profound sadness that i sit here today. >> th we think this is a very serious and sad day. >> i was just talking to democratic congresswoman who is wearing a dark dress to show the somber nature of the day. the gravity of the day. >> it is tragic that the president's reckless actions

make impeachment necessary. he gave us no choice. >> trevor: oh, that's right, all day the democrats were roamings the halls of congress sad and de pressed, just walking around like a moving adele album. hello, impeach. anyway, for more on the mood in washington, let's go to our senior impeachment correspondent michael kosta, everybody. (cheers and applause) michael, are you in d.c. right now at the democratic party headquarters, all the democrats say they are sad but wasn't today a win for them? >> it is not about winning, trevor it is an impeachment, not an arm-s we aring match against my six year old nephew, okay. demg krats take to pleasure in doing this. no matter what you think about trump, no one is happy when the president is impeached. >> trevor: wait s that

champagne? what was that. >> yes, it is grieving champagne. democrats are passing it around so everyone can pour one out for democracy. >> trevor: but i think when you pour one out you are supposed to pour it on the floor. >> come on, this is countriestal, this is for special occasions-- this is for special sad occasions. like this dark day. >> trevor: you know what is weird, michael, because it feels like the democrats are acting sad but then deep down they're actually happy about this. >> no, trevor, you are reading this all wrong, okay. the mood here is down right de pressing. yeah, nancy, today sucked, huh? hey, save me one ofs no jagger bombs, girl. >> trevor: kosta, leerily the democrats, this is a party. >> trevor, you know, shame on

you. this is not a party at all. (laughter) i am surrounded by sadness. >> trevor: dude, you must think i'm an idiot. i don't get why democrats are pretending to be sad. they wanted to impeach trump for ages. this has to make them at least a little bit happy it is just like-- wait, kosta s that music i'm hear smg. >> yeah, trevor, there is too much sadness-- z to get into that space, you so we moved into the club now we are just grinding away our sor rows. >> trevor: i don't buy it, the democrats are happy, it is obvious. >> trevor, i can literally taste the sadness, okay. although that might just be the molly kicking in, am i talking loud? >> trevor: michael kosta, ever. ever. we'll be right back. manolo! it's so cold, come in!

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thgreat stocking stuffers.ke ♪ but how about right-now-in-your-mouth stuffers. happy holidays to your mouth. not sorry. reese's. ♪ fast paced hip hop song playing ♪ rougout ♪ ♪

♪ >> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. it is officially the holiday season. and time for family, togetherness and cocktails wegs, for some reason. but you better enjoy it while it lasts. ronny chieng tells us why in another installment of everything is stupid. (applause)

it is christmas, again. just another excuse for you people to send me stupid pictures of your family, oh, great, another baby dressed as an elf. wow, thaks for the reminder to get a vasectomy. but now thanks to all of these stupid world lieders not giving a shit about climate change everything you love about christmas will disappear. starting with christmas trees. >> this year your christmas tree could wind up costing you mr than in the past. this farm outside los angeles, the average tree costs around $100 bucks. nationwide a fresh cut christmas tree now averages $76. double what it cost in 2008. blame it on climate change. rising temperaturesk wildfires and drought have all made farmk more challenging. >> yeah, that is right. climate change is taking away christmas trees. by 2050 they will be so expensive that the tree will be the present.

how are we going to trick kids into behaving that way. you better be good all year or you are not going to get a douglas fir for christmas. why do people want christmas trees in their house anyway. all they do is shed pine needles all over the floor. if what is what you are into, just call me, i will stab you in the foot for free. tand is not just trees that are going away, climate change is going to kill santa's transportation too. >> in our eye on earth series, we'll take you to santa's hometown in the north pole, where climate change is threatening the reindeer population. >> the reindeer feed even through the winter on lichen, a moss plant they dig down through the snow to get at. except when all that tha-wing and refreezing means they can't. and when the snow turns to ice, what happens to the reindeer. >> we have to feed them. >> you know things are bad when your entire species depends on a guy in a weird hat, okay. i mean what if you oversleeps one day, he will be like oh, my

alarm didn't go off, now i need to dig a mass reindeer grave. and this is a big problem, okay. is because without reindeer how is santa going to get around. will have to hitchhike around the world, trading rides for hand jobs. guess what, the climate crisis is coming for our new year's drinks too. >> another popular consume are item that is expected to get a lot more expensive, prosecco. climate clang is doing a number on the grapes that make them sparkling wine. >> the, dream weather is posing new challenges at his vineyard. >> climate change say big problem, when it is sunny or raining it is. >> prosecco he explained should have low alcohol and high acidity but high temperatures and earlier rain produce the opposite effect. >> that's right, next to climate change prosecco is going to cost more and taste worse. although to be fair if you cared about taste you wouldn't be

drinking prosecco. and prosecco is the champagne that dropped out of high school, okay. you know what my holiday drink of choice is good old-fashioned rubbing alcohol. that's right. sure, it will make you go blind but that is when the party really starts. so happy new year, everyone. spoiler alert, 2020 is going to be worse. >> trevor: ronny chieng, everyone. we'll be right back. >> hey, who say

if you can't write a heartfelt card, give the gift that speaks for itself: cash! scan your pepsi. get a match. and gift that money forward, to whoever you want! keep the pepsi. gift the cash. and gift t♪at money forward, to whoever you want! ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ la vita ruffino.

or these. good thing they're sold literally everywhere business is done. i'm pretty sure you could buy them at a bank. not sorry. reese's. not sorry. i'climate is the number 1ove priority.sage. i would declare a state of emergency on day 1. congress has never passed an important climate bill, ever. this is a problem that continues to get worse. i've spent a decade fighting and beating oil companies... stopping pipelines... stopping fossil fuel plants, ensuring clean energy across the country. how are we going to pull this country together? we take on the biggest challenge in history, we save the world and do it together.

wnongenemodi. nongen. oh, triscuit! is non-genetically modified. nongenemodiscuit. triscuit is non-gmo project verified. triscuit. make 'scuit happen. i am also not genetically-modified. you have a brother in [the second battalion? yes sir. they're walking into a trap. your orders are to deliver a message calling off tomorrow's attack. if you fail we will lose sixteen hundred men. your brother among them.

we need to keep moving. come on! there's only one way this war ends. last man standing. >> trevor: welcome back to the daily show, my guest tonight san actor who plays the villain in aquaman but now is he dr. manhattan in the hit hbo series watchman. >> where are you? >> i am in every moment we are together.

>> i love you. >> trevor: please welcome yahya abdul-mateen the 2. (cheers and applause) welcome to the show. >> thanks for having me, i appreciate it. >> trevor: con-- congratulations on what has been a beautiful, steady and meteoric rise at the same time. >> it has been all right. >> trevor: it has been fan taskic. it really has been amazing. watch machine it has been a cultural phenomenon for so many reasons. one t is a brilliant exploration of comic book characters and that world. but then at the same time because it is based on something that happens ed in america. also oklahoma is one of those stories where you watch the beginning of watchman and a lot of people are like wow, sth a wild story. but then people started

searching and learned that it was a true story. >> yeah, yeah. >> trevor: do you think that is part of the reason it impacts so many people when watching the show, it is an absurd and fan tas particularral look at a real world. >> watchman parallels in a lot of ways our world, our united states. >> trevor: right. >> and so a lot of the stories, these action figure stories, they don't always view events from world history. watchman says okay, we're going to say something about america, we're going to use real american history, and it seems-- they are actually true, in our show we say yes, this happened and we see the repercussions as that trauma is passed down if generation to generation, three generations later, we see the angela abar still dealing with the trauma of a hundred years ago. which is, which is something that actually still happens today. >> that is what really has made it so powerful stvment almost

explains the legacy of systemic racism, it explains the legacy of so many things that people go that happened so long ago, you realize how it can have a knock down affect. one other part of the show that i think makes it really successful is you being topless or naked in it. (applause) >> i feel-- no, no. >> trevor: i see a few people not impress. >> trevor: they vn seen it, that is what that is. i feel like if people write you into a movie or show they have to, they have to find a way to get you to take off your shirt, no, because you have an amazing body, you do. >> thank you, i appreciate it. >> trevor: you do, you have an amazing body. >> i wasn't expected to come on and get complimented. >> trevor: but you do, though. i wonder, do they ever like write it in like a weird way where it is just like and then there say fire in the living room and he takes his shirt off to put out the fire. like are you ever

self-conscience or are you like i have a six pack, this is what i will do. >> this is the thing, i don't always have a six pack. i tend to professionally get ready for roles that require me to work out. but the day, the last day of watchman, that i shot that, i stopped going to the gym, for months. i just got back into the gym about one month ago but i took a five month hiatus because i don't enjoy working out. >> trevor: so wait, are you doing this to prepare for matrix four. >> currently i'm working out to prepare for the matrix. >> trevor: matrix 4. (cheers and applause) this is huge. >> yeah. >> trevor: this s like that movie was one of my, maybe my top three favorite movies of all time, and everyone was so shocked when they announced we are going to make matrix four, you have he canano reefs but you will be in it as well thasm is insane to be part of a huge franchise. >> st wild. we will feel a really excited

story, a story that is relevant. personally i am excited about the technology because you see what it did in 19999, it still holds up. and so i am really excited to get in there but also to be a fan of it, 20 years later and given how much technology, so hopefully take my shirt off in the matrix. because why not, why not. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: some of these people are happy and i'm not going to be mad either. thank you so much. congratulations. (cheers and applause) >> trevor: yahya abdul-mateen ii, everybody, we'll be right ii, everybody, we'll be right back.

♪ ♪ la vita ruffino. oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh, ♪

bublé sparkling water. it's buble! tonight, please don't forget, the tomorrow night "the daily show" is going live after the democratic primary debate so make sure to tune in because we're going to to be here doing

it live. but first, here st, your moment of zen. cheering] >> announcer: and now, david spade! [applause and cheering] ♪ >> david: hey! [applause and cheering] ♪ >> david: all right! hi, guys! [applause and cheering] >> david: all right! [applause and cheering] >> david: hi, everybody! have a seat, everybody! all right. on the show tonight, we've got adam sandler. [applause and cheering] >> david: very excited adam is here, he stopped to