but yes, yes! so we're gonna live there? yeah, i literally just explained it to both of you. i... i left my country to go to a land of opportunity. sounds like it's your turn. we're going to china! (excited screaming) curtain, end of act one of "wicked." (inhales, then exhales) >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪

>> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," everybody! thank you so much for tuning in! thank you for coming out! look at you guys! look at you guys! take a seat! come on in, everybody! take a seat! let's do it! i'm trevor noah. our guest tonight is the president of the wnba players association and a forward for the los angeles sparks, nneka ogwumike is joining us, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) also on tonight's show, the presidential race is officially a sausage fest. dulce sloan celebrates women's history month, and have you been drinking water? then you might be in trouble. let's catch up on today's headlines. let's kick it off with the democratic primaries. after super tuesday, voters basically decided the race should be between joe biden and bernie sanders. so michael bloomberg promptly dropped out, and now in the wise words of the philosopher,

another one. >> we begin with today's big breaking 2020 news. senator elizabeth warren is dropping out. >> warren speaking out on her decision to suspend her campaign. >> gender in this race, you know that is the trap question for every woman. if you say, yeah, there was sexism in this race, everyone says, whiner! and if you say, no, there was no sexism, about a bazillion women think, what planet do you live on? i promise you this, i will have a lot more to say on that subject later on. >> trevor: damn -- elizabeth warren has a good point, yeah, because, like it or not, there was some truth she dropped there. a woman addressing sexism or ignoring it while running for president is either going to be seen as a whiner or living on another planet, which is unfair, especially since the president is already a whiner who lives on another planet.

( laughter ) who you think sexism played a role or not, you have to admit it's pretty strange that a race that started with a broad tap industry of candidates is now basically down to two old white men. they're so old, no matter which one wins, donald trump will be the youngest person in the race. think about that. ( laughter ) like, there's no other job where these three people would be the top candidates. even if they were auditioning for the life alert commercials -- ( laughter ) -- yeah, people would be, like, we're kind of going for someone healthier, you know, you guys don't likely look like you're young enough to save. you know what i mean? ( laughter ) and now the big question is who is elizabeth warren going to endorse? biden or bernie? is she going to swipe right or really far left? ( laughter ) all right, let's move on to this year's biggest viral challenge, the coronavirus. while the c.d.c. is struggling to test patients and stores are running out of cleaning supplies, we're finding out how

fast this thing can spread. >> new alarm bells on the coronavirus in this country. more than 150 cases in a growing number of states. a new york city lawyer is hospitalized. his wife, daughter and son testing positive. a family friend who he spent time with is also positive as are his wife and three children. officials also announcing the neighbor who drove the lawyer to the hospital has the virus. the neighbor's children are being tested. the governor says no need to panic. ( laughter ) >> trevor: okay, there's deafnlt need to panic because the only time people say there's no need to panic is when there's something to panic about. like a pilot never comes on the p.a., ladies and gentlemen, no need to panic, but we've landed. you would be like, and? and nothing, there's no need to panic. ( laughter ) because that graphic is especially scary. everyone got the virus. that guy got the virus.

then his wife got the virus. his kids got the virus. his neighbor got the virus. probably everyone sharing his netflix account got the virus. the guy who drove him to the hospital got the virus, which mean the car's g.p.s. probably got the virus as well. turn right now. coughing. coughing. touching face. no, g.p.s., don't touch your face! you don't even have a face! leaders all over the world are handling corona in very different ways. some are panicking and some aren't doing enough. lucky for us in the united states there's one person who isn't worried at all. >> we had a report the global death rate at 3.4% and the report that the olympics gob delayed. your reaction to that? >> well, i think 3.4% is really a false number. now, this is just my hunch because at lot of people will have this and it's very mild. so i think that that number is very high. i think the number -- personally, i would say the number is way under 1 portion. >> trevor: yes, good news! trump has a hunch coronavirus is

not as deadly as people think. in fact, he personally has a feeling that the death rate is lower than 1%. ( laughter ) what the (~bleep ) is that? ( laughter ) i've got a feeling, is a phrase that should only be reserved for low-stakes situations. you know, like whether tonight's going to be a good, good night. ( laughter ) honestly, i don't know why trump is doing this. why is he being, like, it's not that bad, acting like the virus is no big deal. no one is blaming trump for coronavirus. people just don't want him ignoring it like it will just go away. this is a global pandemic, not his son eric. ( laughter ) and, by the way, why was fox news showing the white house for that call? i mean, based on where trump spends most of his time, it's more lyle he was at mar-a-lago or k.f.c. i don't know even know why they did that. here's a fun story to lighten upyour day. you know why everyone tells you to not text while you're driving

because it can lead to disaster? this next driver should have taken the advice. >> check out a major fail after a man passed his driving test, just ten minutes later that same man drove his car into a river. it happened in southern china. reports that he was trying to avoid those pedestrians on the bridge, apparently. get this, messages on his phone calculating him for passing his drivers test. ( laughter ) there are so many things about this story. first of all, he was trying to avoid -- why didn't he just stop? ( laughter ) like, that thing, it went bad so fast. it looked like the driving version of mike bloomberg's campaign -- i'm the only one that can aaahhh! elizabeth warren! ( laughter ) you know who i really feel bad for? the person he was apparently texting with because you realize they're still at home looking at the three little dots and

nothing came out. what is he saying? did he pass or not? but, still, the real lesson is about texting while driving because, you see, this only happened because the driver looked down to read his texts, then he looked up, saw the pedestrians, panicked and swerved and went into the water. don't make the mistake. just keep looking at your phone the whole time and let the people jump out to have the way. we can always make more people but that car is never coming back. ( laughter ) that's it for the headlines. let's move on to the top story. ( cheers and applause ) right now, we're all on edge because to have the coronavirus. yes, it is scary, but you know what helps me sleep at night is remembering that there are a million other things that could kill me first. yeah, there's car accidents or fires or that suicide pact i made with my best friend in high school if we weren't married by now. but luckily, the u.s. government recently took action to cross one potential killer off the

list. >> the u.s. environmental protection agency is targeting chemicals in its new standard for chemicals. >> pfass are linked to cancer, liver damage and thyroid disease and they never ever degraivmentd they're known as forever chemicals. >> they're so prevalent c.d.c. scientists believe p fas chemicals are in the blood streams of all americans. >> trevor: there are a group of chemicals call p fas that are in our blood and might cause cancer. they're known as forever chemicals because they're impossible to break down, which sounds dangerous but also kind of romantic. yeah, it does. sounds like something from an old school r&b song. ♪ girl, i want to be your forever chemical ♪ ♪ ♪ there's nothing toxics about

our love ♪ ( laughter ) what are these forever chemicals and how do they get into us? if it's not sexually transmitted, i don't know how i got it. let's find out in another installment of "if you don't know, now you know" ( cheers and applause ) ♪ now, forever chemicals might be with us till the end of time but they were only engineered by scientists about 80 years ago. for a while, seemed like they'd only change the world for the better. >> discovered in 1938 accidentally by scientists, used a few later in the manhattan project. >> what made it success 1/2 manufacturing is how they fit together. the florine atoms fit around the carbon atoms to resist heat, oil and water. >> it is in most products that are water, heat and grease resistant, used to repel water grease and oil in all sorts of

things from carpets to clothing to nonstick cookware. >> trevor: the forever chemicals keep things from sticking to surfaces, which is useful, like i don't want to get cancer but have you tried scraping eggs off a sticky pan? it's a night mayor. there are definitely times when i was, like, i would rather be dead! and this technology was discovered by scientists entirely by accident which always amazing me that they can do. this scientists are always making one thing but then they discovered something totally different. i mean, like, i've done the same thing in my life. one time i was trying to create dinner for my girlfriend but instead i discovered she didn't love me. were also nonstick. but the pointy, these forever chemicals have tons of uses, they were even used in the manhattan project to help build the first atomic bomb, which means at some point in the

1940s, a general was, like, killed you discover a way to defeat the germans? and the scientists were, like, we're still working on it, but before i get to that, has this ever happened to you? ( laughter ) the forever chemicals would be incredible if they remained in all the products like they were supposed to, unfortunately, they can't seem to stay put. >> once they're made, they accumulate in the environment, end up in our water supply, in our food and us. >> the environmental watchdog group found forever chemicals or p fas in drinking water in 31 states. >> you find them in takeout containers and pizza gooks. >> the toxins can transfer into the food. >> some substantial levels in meat and seafood and chocolate cake that can be bought off the shelf. >> trevor: damn! chocolate cake takes no prisoners. if it doesn't get you with the diabetes, it's got a backup plan to take you down with secret

chemicals. like the walter white teamed up with betty crocker. ( laughter ) why does this happen with food we love? it's always the food we love that will kill us. you never heard the news say, this in, fermented horse meat is bad for you. it's like, you enjoy chocolate cake and water? well you dead now! ( laughter ) chocolate cake would have been bad enough but forever chemicals are in our water. that means it's in the sink, the shower, which means it's seen me naked so it could give me cancer and black mail me. i swear to got, you tell anybody about that thing hanging off my back and i'll kill you, forever chemicals! ( laughter ) everything from your food to drinking water is contaminated. the e.p.a. is taking action now. but people have been raising concerns for decades, and for decades, companies like dupont were brushing off concerns like food on a teflon pan.

>> even dupont says it cannot rule out its products gev off the chemical. the vice president of research is the dupont executive chosen to publicly defend teflon. she says teflon is completely safe, even if the key chemical is in everyone's blood. >> everyone has it. >> everyone has it. >> it's in my blood, your blood? >> possibly. we do not believe there are any adverse health defects. >> is that a good thing to have it in your blood? >> there are lots of chemicals that are present in our blood. ( laughter ) >> trevor: there are lots of chemicals in our blood? yeah, but right now we're talking about the chemicals your company put there. what kind of defense is this? can you imagine if you caught someone breaking into your home and you're, like, hey, what are you doing here? they're, like, uh, there are many people in houses right now. i mean, who's that guy? that's my husband! my point exactly!

( laughter ) so at this point, no matter what the government does to fight forever chemicals, there's a good chance a lot of the damage is already done. if you've got blood, these forever chemicals are in it. so all companies like dupont can do now is just put their best spin on things, which isn't easy. i won't lie, if i ran dupont, i would try and, like, figure out a way to make it look good. i wouldn't hide the fact that they may have poisoned almost every human on the face of the planet, no, i would make adso own it with pride. >> what do banks, real estate and the oscars have in common? discrimination. but at dupont, we're all about inclusivity. that's right. no matter who you are or where you're from, dupont will poison you! >> i grew up in texas, and i've got dupont chemicals in my blood. >> look at me! i am from uganda and i am poisoned! >> because of all these chemicals in my blood, the doctors say i've got cancer!

and so does my husband. >> dupont, forever chemicals for everyone. >> trevor: we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) (mom) were you planning on mowing the lawn today? [thunder] (son) no. (burke) seen it. covered it. at farmers insurance, we know a thing or two because we've seen a thing or two. so call 1-800 farmers to get a quote. ♪ we are farmers. bum-pa-dum, bum-bum-bum-bum ♪

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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." as you know, march is women's history month. ( cheers and applause ) yes! it's the one month when mike pence can't be alone with the calendar. ( laughter ) and to help us celebrate, we're joined by our senior women's history correspondent dulce sloan, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) thank you. >> hello! >> trevor: happy women's history month. >> happy? it would be happier if you got me a gift. >> trevor: another one. i just got you a gift for black history month. >> yeah, because i'm black in february and in march, i'm a

woman. ( laughter ) >> trevor: but that's not fair. so when do i get a gift? >> in april, because you're a fool. ( laughter ) anyway, trevor, have you ever wondered why women don't get the historic credit they deserve? >> trevor: sexism? >> statutes, trevor. women don't have as many statutes as men. in fact, nationwide, only 8% of outdoor statutes are of women. >> trevor: wow, how did you know that statistic? >> i drink snapple! (~bleep ). (~bleep ), i read. what? internet. come on, dawg. and i've seen it for myself. i was walking through central park the other day, under duress, and i saw statues of alexander hamilton, christopher columbus, william shakespeare, all famous men from history. when it comes to women, there

are only two statues in central park, "alice in wonderland" and mother goose! ( laughter ) which makes no damn sense! alice is just a white girl who took molly. ( laughter ) and why does mother goose get a statue? all she did was (~bleep ) a goose! ( laughter ) >> trevor: i don't think that's right. >> fine. she made love -- to a goose! >> trevor: anyway, dulce, i'm lost. how does having more statues help? >> because, trevor, statues help us remember history. when you walk past a statue and you're, like, oh, yeah, m.l.k. did have a dream, thomas jefferson was a complicated individual, and when you don't honor women the same way you honor men, you're leaving them out of history. >> trevor: that's true. that's true. ( cheers and applause ) well, at least -- at least women have the statue of liberty. that's one to have the most

famous statues in the world. >> we need statutes of real women, not some giant french bitch holding an ice cream! ( laughter ) no, someone like tony morrison, the first black woman to win the nobel prize for literature. or frances perkins, the first woman appointed to a presidential cabinet. ( cheers and applause ) or someone like beyonce. ( cheers and applause ) the first woman to be beyonce! why doesn't she have a statue? she's already stand like a statue. she's ready! >> trevor: actually a great idea. but i hope you understand, building thousands of statues of women is going to be difficult. statues are expensive. this is going to be a project that takes a lot of time. >> oh, i've already done it, trevor. >> trevor: what? >> i've designed one statue to symbolize all women, their power, their beauty, their

mystique! a flawless avatar of womanhood that anyone can look at and see themselves. >> trevor: dulce, that's a statue of you. >> oh, there ever! -- oh, trevor! i'm touched that you can see me in that art! >> trevor: no, it's literally you. it has your name on it. also, why are you holding a baby? you don't have kids! >> that baby symbolizes america, okay?! which women have been carrying for far too long! ( cheers and applause ) nah, i'm kidding, it's just elvis' baby, because that's some history upi want to make! >> trevor: dulce sloan, everybody! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) music: "rocket fuel" by dj shadow (featuring de la soul) ♪ ladies and gentlemen

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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to the "the daily show." my guest tonight is a wnba champion and six-time all-star who plays for the los angeles sparks. as president's the players union she played a leading role in negotiating higher pay and expanded benefits for all the women in the league. please welcome nneka ogwumike! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> thank you! >> trevor: welcome to the show! >> thank you! >> trevor: this is so fun, especially having a woman president on the show. this is nice. i hope this is a product of the future. welcome!

( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) >> thank you! >> trevor: i don't even know where to start in your world because of how many achievements you just have, you know, in your resume. let's start with your journey as a player. >> okay. >> trevor: you are one of the most accomplished players we've ever seen in the game of basketball. magic johnson says he's watching you play and says you're one to have the smartest players on and off the court. he said you're a combination of magic johnson and lebron james. >> i appreciate that. >> trevor: you dominated for such a long time. the wnba is truly one of the most interesting stories because you have a league that keeps on growing every year, does better and better and makes more and more money, yet there are so many complicated stories within it. you have amazing women who are athletes who play in this league. most of them, i've heard, have college degrees. >> almost everyone. >> trevor: almost everyone? >> yeah. >> trevor: that's special on its own. >> very special.

>> trevor: business owners, entrepreneurs, but because of the pay structures in the league, players of the wnba have had to make a choice to play the entire year to sustain yourself as a basketball player. >> yeah, and what's reflected in our cba now, we wanted to create more disparity in the choices, so, now, with what we hopefully catalyzed the in this current collective bargaining agreement, there are players who have opportunities not to only make more money but to be compensated in the league market, in the team market, so they don't feel like they have to go overseas, whichles affects motherhood and child planning. >> trevor: right. >> you don't have to decide when am i going to have my kid, am i scared to tell them i'm pregnant, and those are the types of resources that we want to change at a foundational level that can hopefully create a much better future for women's basketball. >> trevor: that's really good. >> yes. ( applause ) >> trevor: one of the more interesting and heartbreaking stories is unden undeniably thaf

gigi bryant. >> yeah. >> trevor: we saw all these images of her and they seldom didn't involve basketball, you know, whether it was her playing in her dress and in her heels, you know, that individual you that went around, whether it was pictures of her practicing with her dad kobe, whether it was images of her to gain staring at you, almost looking at, wow, this is where i dream of being, there's no denying gigi bryant in many ways represented what the future of the wnba could be. because she wasn't just playing basketball to play basketball, she was trying to get somewhere, and that somewhere was the wnba. she looked up to you and to many other players in the wnba. what do you think that's done for the sports and what do you hope young girls out there who are playing right now will have that your generation doesn't? >> you know, we saw a living legacy in her, not just through her father, but also for women in sports and for the wnba.

>> trevor: right. >> when we got to experience her, we were looking at what we were working for, you know. we're not just here to make a difference for the current players, for the rookies coming in. we're here to make a difference for those girls, like gigi, whose eyes lit up every time that they saw us, and that is out there, and people need to know that that is out there. we were tragically alarmed by it, but it certainly was a wakeup call, and it likely hit hard for the women's basketball community to lose her, but we're going to live in her honor. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: congratulation force everything you've done and making history. >> thank you. thank you. >> trevor: nneka ogwumike, of the wnba los angeles sparks, everybody! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ it all starts with an invitation. to feel connected. the invitation to lexus sales event now through march 31st.

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♪ when love runs high >> trevor: well, that's our show for tonight. thank you so much for tuning in. now, here it is... your moment of zen. >> my entire career, i was viewed as a liberal liberal. ( laughter ) no, i'm serious. >> no, i'm serious. no, i'm serious, no, i'm serious. no, i'm serious, think about it. no, but i'm serious, think about that. no, no, no, no, no, no, no. no, i'm serious. no, here's what i mean. captioning sponsored by comedy central and now david spade! (cheers and applause)